it's like Sam falls in love with Frodo completely and totally once removed from the restraints of society, when completely isolated from civilisation. what he wanted before was a wife and family and he still does, but now he also knows that what he feels for Frodo is not something that can be confined to a gentleman and their gardener relationship—even if they are friends. because he is sobbing that he will make it to the end and destroy the Ring just to come back and die beside his dear. it's like in the Shire how could they have known! they aren't supposed to be in love!
let's jump back to the time period this is written in and say that men aren't supposed to fall in love. it's not approved by society. but dear god this isn't society. this isn't civilisation, this is the wastelands of Mordor. this is Hell. this is the beauty unparalleled of Lórien. what do you say when you fall in love because suddenly there aren't laws anymore that would tell you you only love him because he is better than you and what you feel is reverence only and that's why you can't breathe when you look at him. what do you do when suddenly you aren't the only queer and strange person on a journey filled with queer, strange people who are all now separated from wherever they came from—no matter what those lands believed. they are now cloven to one another, they are all outcast, in one way or another, forever now, because no one else can understand. this is nothing like what you were told. this is why you wanted those prying neighbours to have an adventure or a dragon or two, isn't it? because everything could change so fast.
if it was ages ago the last time that you felt safe then why do you feel safe in his arms? how do you put these in terms of a gentle-hobbit and his gardener? don't you love him for how he cares so much? for how he never judged you? for his wide brown eyes when you spoke elvish by the firelight? because he looked at you and saw everything about you that drove others away and loved you the more for it? and he loved you over and over but he thought it was only admiration until you told him enough times that his father shouldn't call him names and they don't fit him and there's nothing about you that makes him lesser than you, and all those societal tiers are gone anyway because you're wandering through jagged lands with the fate of the world hanging from your neck like a millstone, but you can smile in your sleep if he holds you. he comforts you with his hands and body. he holds your hand. he holds your hand.
isn't this the tale of Beren and Lúthien? isn't this a love as great? would you have ever known? or would it be a question chased away by the grumbling of the neighbours? can you imagine another time or place where your question is answered without doom hanging over your heads? was it always fate that you would be sundered? what man afraid of both boats and water will dare cross the great, grey sea alone to find you? hope without hope, for he knows how the mortals were dashed back from your home—what is not your home—by mists and storms and deep enchantments?
is there a gentler story for you? is there ever? you're crossing the great, salt sea, Frodo. he can't always be torn in two. but he is. he was. or else he would not have followed you where he could not go.
this is love despite, despite, despite. this is sometimes it shines through, somehow. But I love him, whether or no.
this is why you don't fall in love with saviours
this is how there is nothing in the universe greater than love. this is how someone mortal experiences eternity. this is your Sam.
you can't always be torn in two until you are. if you cannot heal, Frodo, did you really think Sam could? or was it hope without reason because you love him? because he loves you
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Shitty lotr reboot idea (2): everything is the same, except all the songs are 90’-2000’ hits.
Pippin: We have no songs for great halls and evil times
Denethor: Come! Sing me a song!
Pippin: *softly* Oups I did it again…
Pippin: *a bit louder* I made you believe… we’re more than just friends…
Pippin: *shouting* OUH BABY BABY!
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⚠️ EVERYONE OH MY FUCKING GODDD STOP TAGGING THIS AS ”Hmm i don’t have ptsd but i read on the internet that its this and that blah blah blah” or ”op u know Tolkien was in WW1 right🙄 it’s supposed to be symbolism” I KNOWSW I HAVE PTSD I HAVE PTSD I HAVE PTSD I KNOWWW JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ITS A J O K E⚠️
I love it in the fellowship of the ring book when they’re walking through the mines of moria, and tolkien’s like ”ever since frodo was stabbed by the wraith he had noticed that his vision was better, and he could hear little noises long before everyone else could…” as if it’s some kind of spooky wraith power. Like baby that’s just called hypervigilance, and it’s one of the biggest symptoms of ptsd😩😩😩 Im sorry to have to tell u this frodo, but u don’t have wraith powers, u need to go to therapy🙏 god bless
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