my coffeeshop of employ is inexplicably sports-themed, but managed to hire like 95% queers who don’t like sports
so we’re all coming up with ways to be in dress code (sports-themed or coffee-themed is the only written requirement) without buying expensive sports merch. a list of my favorites thus far:
1. black t-shirt with ‘coffee’ printed in black lettering, utterly unidentifiable to anyone not six inches away
2. white t-shirt with ‘Irish rugby’ printed in the middle of the chest
3. vintage 90s looney tunes baseball sweatshirt
4. space jam jersey (with short-sleeved t under, because health code)
5. local ping-pong tournament shirt
6. bike week merch
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Don't know of I am too late but for the AU headcanons a Greater Polyphantoms Polycule fairytale AU?
-Julie, in a bid to help her mother and because she is the Main Character, falls through a magical book into a fairytale world, and now she must find her way back to even be able to see her mother (or any of her family) at all.
-Flynn, because she is genre savvy, jumps in right after her girlfriend because she knows Julie will get caught up in SHENANIGANS.
-Which she immediately does. Flynn isn't even through the magic portal all the way yet when she sees Julie talk to a Wolf. As in Big Bad. She threatens to pepperspray him but he bursts into tears, pulling down his red cape to cover his tail.
-He says he was just trying to bring some things to his sick Meemaw when he got distracted and strayed off the path and got bitten by a big bad wolf, and now he's too scared to go home and he still needs to give MeeMaw her things, but what if she doesn't recognise him.
-Flynn of course, rolls her eyes and is like: Just put your hood up so she can't see your fluffy ears and tuck in your tail, wear a face mask so she can't see what big teeth you have, and ring the doorbell and stand six feet back. Tell her you're social distancing.
-Of course Flynn has an extra face mask, she made them herself, it's got a cool galaxy print on it.
-Now that Meemaw has her food and medicine, Reggie is so grateful he pledges to help them on their Quest. Flynn shrugs because at least he's a local who can help them get around.
-Also he's really cute and he makes happy puppy noises when you scratch him behind the ears. And he's nice to curl up with at night in front of the fire.
-Along the way they meet Carrie, a girl who went to the ball to have a good time as someone other than herself, lost her glass slipper, and now she can't wear her signature colour anymore because the damn prince keeps trying to find the girl in pink with the fancy shoes.
"The shoes were awful for dancing in, but they did look good."
-Carrie is obsessed with Julie's sneakers. They trade her for them, and she makes them some clothes that means they fit in better.
-Flynn is all: Girl you are rocking that corset. Julie is embarrassed, especially when she sees both Carrie and Reggie go pink in agreement.
-Next they find a beautiful blonde prince in a glass coffin. Carrie reads the sign and tells them about how the prince ate a poison apple and fell into a coma and they're hoping his true love can kiss him awake, and that for 5 silver, you can try, please inquire inside.
-Flynn is like: Oh hell no that is a CONSENT VIOLATION and breaks the glass coffin, gives the poor boy the heimlich. He coughs up the apple, is very freaked out, and is like: please get me the hell away from here.
-His name is Alex and he ran away into the woods because his evil king and queen parents wanted him to marry a girl and he does not want to. So they keep trying to murder him to makes sure he doesn't come back to claim the throne. He doesn't want the throne. He wants a boyfriend and a nice little cottage with a cozy fireplace and maybe a cat, or a dog.
-For now he gets a Reggie instead which is kind of the same thing.
-They break into a tower to crash for the night, find a cute boy Alex is instantly in love with, rescue him, help him cut his hair to a nice manageable mid-back length, and take him with them.
-Do they nearly lose Alex, Willie, and Reggie to an evil witch with a house made of candy? Yes they do.
-Julie is like: STOP. TAKING. FOOD. FROM. STRANGERS. Alex, I thought you of all people would know better!
-Carrie: I mean the witch is dead now, help me chop up her damn sofa so we have provisions to last us a while.
-They do not stay at the witch's house though because it's technically an active crime scene. So they're out late at night wandering the woods when they find Luke. Who fell through a magic portal of his own in the 90s and thought it was rad as fuck at first, but then he realised he's not AGING and what do you mean it's been 25 years???? So they take him with him as well to see if they can get him home.
-Right before they find the magic portal back, Carrie's prince finds them and she grabs Flynn's pepperspray to keep him away and he's like: I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOUR SHOE BACK THEY LOOK EXPENSIVE also I'm not the real prince, I'm the kitchen boy who looks weirdly like the prince, we switched places and he fucked off and people are starting to catch on I'm not him because I don't know court etiquette please take me with you before they behead me.
-So they take Nick back home with them as well and they all live happily ever after. Rose is cured, Reggie is human again, Willie is safe from the evil warlock who locked him up, Luke gets reunited with his mom, and Ray is like: ... okay so... we're gonna need a lot of bunk beds?
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