#from my brother. so this is more like my personal canon (au?) so everything will probably be way off from canon depiction like characterizat

[u3pxx]

PLEASEEE can you elaborate on the gavinners i cant stop looking at them theyre so pretty

sometimes i forget that outside of my friends and servers, i don't really talk much about my gavinners boys* huh! so basically, i originally wanted to make them so i could beef up turnabout serenade in my roleswap au, kind of like turnabout samurai where you have a lot more characters which in turn means a lot more suspects!

but then i realized, wait, i need to make them in the canon-verse first before i could make their swap au counterparts! and so now they exist pftt

here y'all go, i'm gonna be copy-pasting the character descriptions i wrote for them during art fight pftt <3

🥁 DEIDRE MINUENDO

Height: 5'7" (170 cm), 5'9.5" (176) with boots on Birthday: Jul 7 ♋︎ | Pronouns: He/Him, She/Her, They/Them

Deidre is the seemingly gloomy and stoic drummer of the band The Gavinners! At first, it could be difficult to get a read on them but despite all that, they're just like that because they prefer saving their energy. It might not look like it, but Deidre enjoys company even if they're not the most chatty with it and thrives the most when they are around other people (she prefers it if she's around the people closest to her though). Deidre is pretty sensitive and an emotional person even if they don't outwardly express it. To the people close to them, Deidre has a sarcastic streak and can be pretty snappy when it comes to teasing. She can dish it but she can't take it however as they can get slightly irritated when they're teased back. Even if they are a rockstar, they can get embarrassed when people praise or say nice things about them to their face, he tends to brush affection if even if he is secretly flattered by it (he's not gonna admit it though pftt) They also enjoy doodling here and there and like stuffed animals (they have a few of their own!)

Deidre was the closest to Daryan so the events of 4-3 affected him immensely. They felt betrayed and confused and tried to deny that Daryan would be capable of taking another person's life; they scrambled to do everything to protect Daryan from omitting information and even lying on the stand. In the end, all of their efforts were for naught and they felt incredibly guilty for what they've done, especially since she started antagonizing Preston when he was starting to suspect Daryan. They cut themselves off from the group, their job, and stardom. They ended up severely depressed and started to rarely go outside anymore. Only Doremy (Daryan's twin, also a close friend of his) was able to reach him during this time while Viva tried to but he kept refusing to see him. It took them a long time to finally be able to reconnect with the group and it took them a lot of help and support to be able to be well again. Deidre carries Daryan's betrayal to the group heavily and it took a while for her to start forgiving herself.

⚡ VIVA CHI

Age: 25 | Height: 5'9" (175 cm) Birthday: Jan 1 ♑︎ | Pronouns: He/Him

Viva is the lively and energetic bassist of the band The Gavinners! Though he may seem goofy and a little unserious, he actually is pretty responsible and is the mediator of the band (as the eldest brother of his siblings and the eldest of the band, he kind of made that his responsibility). He's a forensic scientist and has always had an interest in science alongside music ever since he was young (he thinks Ema is very pretty but she finds him annoying pftt). Viva was the last one to join the band when they were all in high school and despite his extroverted personality, felt a little shy at the time getting to know a new group of people (it's because Preston was there who he may or may not have crushed at while in high-school.) He's a lover of all things caffeinated (especially energy drinks though he should really pace himself) which isn't always the best match to the fact that he's got terrible anxiety and thinks himself down a spiral when he gets too worried.

Once the band disbanded after the events of AA4, Viva, though left in a bad place with his anxiety shot through the roof, fared better compared to the other members. He tried his best to keep in touch with everyone with varying successes despite Daryan's arrest being fresh and hurt. - visiting Daryan in prison to hear his side of the story - popping in to check at Preston in his office because the guy started to take worse care of himself - contacting Deidre even if she was trying to isolate and cut herself from everyone and looking out for Klavier even if he buried himself in his work He took a break from music like everyone else, he still hopes one day they can meet up and play music again, not even as a band, but as a group of friends who loved creating music.

🦇 PRESTON KEISS

Age: 25 | Height: 6'1" (185 cm) Birthday: Oct 25 ♏︎ | Pronouns: He/Him

Preston is the mysterious yet magnetic keyboardist of the Gavinners! Tall, dark, and bewitching; Preston is aware of the impression people have of him at first glance and likes to use that preconception to surprise and even catch people off-guard by purposely being silly or crass. He has a number of odd quirks and mannerisms that he doesn't realize he has, people tend to notice but they often let it pass because he is very handsome (pretty privilege lmao). Preston can sometimes be mischievous and finds certain things amusing only to him even if others don't find it as funny. He's always had an interest in horror and the macabre ever since he was a young boy which developed into a great fascination with the special effects used in old and new horror films alike. (He can be a bit jumpy when watching movies even if he loves to do it, he can't help it if the movie gets to him!) He plays up his whole immortal vampire schtick because the fans tend to theorize if he really was one. (He is not, he'd love to be one though pftt) Preston is very stubborn and adamant about his opinions and can be difficult to sway if he thinks he's correct; he is also quite awkward when it comes to personal matters, as can be seen in his strained relationship with his older sister and whatever romantic thing he's trying to achieve with Viva. He's used to acting larger than life when the cameras are on but being raw and honest has him feeling a little embarrassed and stilted. Preston smokes and keeps it a secret. (Don't tell Viva that!)

Preston was the first person in the band to start suspecting Daryan which he mostly kept to himself at first but wouldn't deny when you asked him (Deidre did not like that.) After Lamirior accused Daryan in court, Preston was determined to make Deidre confront the truth (unfortunately, not taking in why Deidre might be upset and in denial about it) which caused them to have a fight (with Viva being unsuccessful in de-escalating it.) After the Gavinners disbanded, Preston didn't feel very well after Daryan got sent to prison and lost contact with Deidre (whom he hasn't talked to since the case. [he misses them.]) He seemed fine afterward with his workload seeming to increase though upon closer inspection, he's started taking worse care of himself, skipping meals, and losing his interest in music. Preston has a lot of baggage to sort through regarding his friends and his family that will be difficult and painful for him to confront, but rest assured, he's gonna come out of it happy and well.

and here's a compilation of some very old turnabout serenade drawings too :^]

(i didnt make dei's bday turnabout serenade on purpose, it was a tragic happy accident DFGHDJ i wanted his bday to be 7/7 bc i made daryan 6/6 but then the date. i realize the date orz)

#also i dont think ive mentioned this before but ive been thinking about preston being somewhere in the autism spectrum too :^] #ace attorney #deidre minuendo #viva chi #preston keiss #klavier gavin #daryan crescend #the gavinners #sunnysidedoodles #den's gavinners tag #den's ocs tag #sunnysideanswers #id in alt text #described

[javarium]

“make me (yours).” | r. sukuna

w — [ minors do not interact ] modern! AU, hints of sugar daddy vibes ;), older man/younger woman, age gap, everyone is above 20+ and legal age, male masturbation, Sukuna imagining seggs positions and shit like that, Sukuna is around 36 & Reader is around 22/23, tbh sukuna being a comfort character rn. jjk after 235? it’s non-canon lmao

a/n: this is the most I’ve ever written that’s sinful I’m not used to this (it’s been so damn long since i have written anything remotely sinful omfg) and it’s not even that much I’m so embarrassed y’all HELP— also part two depends on you guys and any ideas you want to send in through my ask box :3

part one | part two

[ first divider by @/benkeibear, the second by @/cafekitsune ]

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who meets you through his younger brother, who’s a few years older than you. You’ve been in Japan for a few years now, that much he knows, attending the same school his little brother got into. And now he’s determined to find out everything about you.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who’s so fucking glad you can speak Japanese. He knows English, yes, but he prefers it when you speak his native tongue, because he fucking loves your accent and gets off on it. It’s exotic — you’re exotic — and he can’t help the temptation of wanting you and more.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who knows to keep his smug smirk into himself when his little brother finally mans up and finally introduces you to him one day when he comes home to work on a project that you’re helping him with. And he knows that Yuuji knows about the look on his face. Because he knows his history with women. Yuuji knows he’s made a mistake introducing you to each other.

Or so he thinks.

Sukuna is thoroughly amused by you, although there are times where he becomes frustrated. You’re not an easy case to crack, and not easy to tease and rile up. Perhaps that’s the part of you that’s from accelerated maturity.

You’re smarter than the average person, even the people slightly above average. You’re intellectually and psychologically challenging and he very much likes it. It’s been a long time since he’s had the kind of stimulation you’ve brought him. Since his and Yuuji’s father passed away.

He watches from a distance as you and his brother go over notes and work and crack jokes that put a pretty smile on your face. He can’t hear your laughter from where he stands, but he’s positive it’s as lovely as your smile.

As for you, you know you’re being watched. You look to the tall man out of your peripheral vision and halt rolling your eyes.

“Your brother is never subtle, is he?”

Yuuji sighs heavily. “Never.”

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who hates the fact he can’t see you more often. So he digs and digs and then finds out about some old family debts and a couple things for medical expenses he can easily pay off to hold over your head, to use as a means to be something akin to a sugar daddy so he can order you around and see you whenever he wants to.

And it comes as no surprise to him when he mentions it the next time his brother brings you over for schoolwork that you’re startled by him finding out. He only mentions it after Yuuji has fallen asleep on the couch. You give him the wide-eyed expression of shock, probably wondering how he found out about it.

But unlike his expectations, you don’t ask how he knows. you don’t get embarrassed and try to hush it away with the option of using yourself as his favor. You shrug, going a little more into depth and detail about the financial struggle that’s been kept under wraps for several good years.

Sukuna himself is surprised in return, by both you and the way he sits down for you — to listen to you.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna, who finds out that even though you see him as super attractive, you’re not as swayed by his flirting and all of his advances like many women and young women your age are. Yes, you know he’s super fucking stupidly hot, and yes you’ve more than likely thought about certain things while in bed under the sheets, but you’ve got more important things to prioritize than hot men. Which he applauds you for just as much as he despises it. It makes him frustrated, because he’s attracted to you and wants you in his bed so bad; because it should be so fucking easy like it has been with other women. But you’re not the same, and while his lust is as prominent as ever in his older age, he also has the desire for something more than just a fling.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who manages to get ahold of your schedule through his baby brother (who’s prepping for your broken heart) and asks you out, setting up a date for when he knows you’re free. He much enjoys the look on your face when he brings up the date he’s set, knowing you’re wondering about how he managed to nail the exact day you’re free for the day he’s set for the outing. He enjoys it even further when you quickly deduce how he knows about it.

Goddamn, he loves a sharp woman.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna, who orders you a dress to be made that’s a mix of beautiful deep crimson and black, one that shines but doesn’t shine too much to glare at people eyes. He drums his fingers against his desk in his home office as he sees the notification pop up on his phone that the item has been delivered.

But as usual, you surprise him. You don’t end up wearing the dress he’s made, but something completely different. You arrive to the restaurant he’s bought out for the night in a deep silver-gray tux, hair styled in a simple manner with minimal makeup that he knows you don’t need because he’s already seen and fallen for your natural looks anyway.

Sukuna hates you. He doesn’t, but he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with the feelings he has. You’re so much younger than him, but holy fuck has it been so long since he’s been given any sort of challenge or stimuli, especially from a woman. He both hates and is glad you’re not easy. And it only fuels his drive to get you to give yourself to him.

You drive him up a damn wall.

He’s been in the shower for at least forty minutes, alternating between hot and cold every five minutes. Forty minutes and the painful hard on he’s had all morning still hasn’t gone away.

Sukuna leans his head forward against the wall and cusses at himself. His hand isn’t enough, but there’s some relief as he starts leisurely pumping his shaft. He cusses and swears worse than a sailor as he starts off slow, imagination running wild (at what could be).

He wants you so fucking bad. He wants you on your knees in front of him; on the soft carpet because no way is he going to let his pretty woman have sore knees while taking his monstrous dick down her throat.

He wants to bury his face between your legs and make you cum so much and so hard you see fucking galaxies, then let you catch your breath just barely enough before he uses your juices as lubricant and permanently molds your pussy to the shape of his fat cock.

He wants your legs over his shoulders as you throw your head back and moan as he fucks your better than anyone ever has and ever will. He wants to see a white ring around his cock as he pumps himself in and out of you like he’s a starved man. And that he is. For you, anyway.

Sukuna just knows your pussy is so fucking warm. He’ll bet his dick that you’ll have the tightest pussy he’s ever going to have. The best he’s ever going to have.

His hand pumps his shaft faster and faster, gripping it harder as he nears climax. His massive cock aches painfully, desperate to cum. Fucking hell… He wants you so bad, underneath him, or on your knees, calling him by whatever pet name or name from whatever kink you might have.

Forbid everything if you call him ‘Daddy’ or ‘Master’. Game fucking over.

He doesn’t even care if you have those kinds kinks or not. He just wants the pretty girl that’s done more than caught his attention under him as he makes her feel pleasure that only he can provide.

But the selfish part of him can’t help but hear you call out those names in his head. And that’s what does it.

Sukuna’s thighs and back muscles flex almost painfully as his balls draw up and cums. He tosses his head back, the feeling of his load spurting from the tip making him groan in pleasure. He cums so hard he feels like he’s about to keel over.

“Fuck yeah…” he pants, oxygen finally catching up to his lungs’ need.

But now he’s disappointed and just a little pissed off. Because the cum on the wall shouldn’t be there. It should be on or in you. And he doesn’t like that.

And as he rewashes himself, his jaw clenches, can’t help but thinking determinedly he’s going to change things between the two of you.

Come hell or high fucking water.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna who’s finally shifted the relationship to being something else. Although you can’t tell what it is. The first date he takes you on is to break the ice, getting to know you better as a person. It’s also to see if you’d fuck him, but he knows you’ve got stronger convictions than the women he’s used to.

He takes you on a second date, this time in more casual clothes on a drive to a house he’s set up to have dinner and stargaze at.

He gets to tell you he’s paid off your family’s old debts now, relieved them of the medical bills and taxes that haven’t been paid yet. But it backfires, and now he’s left to make you understand that it wasn’t to make you feel beholden to him in any manner, like owing debt to the mafia.

♥️ Rich! Sukuna needs you to understand that despite how much he wants to fuck you, it’s more than just because he finds you attractive and wants to satisfy his dick. He wants you to know you’re not temporary; he doesn’t see you as a quick fix to his primal needs.

Not at all.

You’re the long term fix to his primal needs. And perhaps the only one he’s going to need ever again. And once the expression of understanding crosses your face, he goes to cradle the back of your head and hungrily slots his lips on yours. He may not get to take all your clothes off right now, but he’s happy with his results tonight.

Besides, he knows he’ll get you into his bed with a shiny diamond ring on your left hand eventually.

wheeeew im gonna go take a cold bath

@vagabond-umlaut here’s ur man babe pls enjoy.

& everyone pls feel free to send in more ideas for this series if you want im having fun with this lmao

#sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #jjk smut #jjk x reader smut #modern au #modern! sukuna #sukuna jjk #jjk drabble #sukuna drabble #sukuna headcanons #a lil bit of spice in this one 😉 #🔞+ works

[north-noire]

My Michael Afton throughout the years! ft. his own little doodles. I'll try to be brief about the timeline and how my Michael was without saying too much since it'll be explored in the Hidden Hands AU fic's chapters anyway so I won't say all the details. Feel free to read if you guys like! I have a lot to say about him.

1983 (FNAF 4) - Michael was 12 or 13-ish when the Bite happened. Very reckless yet adventurous kid. Didn't really hate Evan (William, as much as he had a soft spot for Evan, still loved Michael all the same), just had really bad friends and influence (his friends were mostly bullies) - and didn't really like that he's being told to parent a little brother he had no idea how to take care of. It didn't help that Evan tended to be a tattle-tail sometimes about the trouble he was getting into. Michael also, deep down, got scared of what the bullies would do to him if he dared stand up for his brother or spoke out against them, so he ends up going along with what they did for his own sake. After the Bite, Michael was still deeply guilty about what he did to Evan, and it haunts him every night, knowing he had no good excuse but irresponsibility for what he did to his brother, because after all, it wasn't like William wasn't giving him enough attention. Michael just knew that he deserved anything unfortunate coming to him, but is genuinely surprised that his father kept telling him he loved him all the same. From this point on, he becomes easily troubled, tends to stay close to his dad. Makes sure he follows the rules and doesn't do trouble. Just wants to do a complete personality shift, and is deeply ashamed of who he was before. 1985 (Charlie's death, Fredbear's Family Diner shuts down) - Michael was 15 here. Over the years, he slowly isolated himself from most of the people in his life since he gets worried about his past scars coming back to haunt him. Mostly a recluse and reserved. He's not handling things well after Charlie's death and a family divorce - not to mention the non-existent social life he had. Just prefers to be left alone, but he's nice if you get to know him. Doesn't really have a good relationship with Elizabeth, but is actually pretty close with William. Feels extremely guilty and hates himself/blames himself for Charlie's death. He gets paranoid easily, as he thinks whoever took Charlie is now after him, but his father tells him to not worry too much about it. 1987 (FNAF 2) - (17) Slowly having a good relationship with Elizabeth. Starts to get into stuff like the supernatural and becomes superstitious to a degree over the years. In public, he's mostly polite and nice, but his actual personality shows through whenever he's with his father or Elizabeth - he's sarcastic, and has quite a dark sense of humor, can be a bit of a rebel, he's just more subtle about it. A bit of an over-thinker - he gets lost in his imagination/head easily. Has a (surprisingly) good relationship with his dad, as he's not really afraid to be himself around him - sometimes gifts him funny things or something he knows his dad would love/would use (he gifts William a rabbit's foot - for good luck, he says). He also helped William build the Fun-Times with blueprints and other technicalities (He's not really aware of the questionable features they had, unfortunately). He couldn't really come with his father and Elizabeth on Circus Baby's Pizza World opening due to things he had to catch up with his home-schooling, he had been skipping classes to work on the Fun-Times, but he really wanted to graduate highschool with a bang, so he's giving everything his all, here. Then Elizabeth suddenly goes missing all of a sudden, and, well... I would say more, but my fic sort of takes a canon-divergence route around FNAF 2/SL-FNAF 1 so that would spoil half of the stuff I've been working/writing about! Reference-sheet wise, I just wanted to show how he progresses from a rebellious, happy and adventurous kid into a more reclused, anxious and soft-spoken adult. Sorry for the long post! I've just been wanting to talk about him for some time now. There's a looot more that I've left out but yeah that's because there will be more in the fic!

#yeah in this au my michael and william actually have a decent father-son relationship even after the bite. even after all that will's done. #michael just... isn't aware of what his dad did yet for the meantime. #ik william isn't a great father at ALL in canon but let me WRITE my AU the way i want okay? #hidden hands au #fnaf au #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf fanart #michael afton #mike afton #fnaf michael afton #fnaf mike afton #long post #my art

[tizeline]

The Sep AU is super interesting, like it grabbed my brain and does not want to let go-

I find it interesting how from the Drax Trios innitial perspective everything Donnie is just justifies their opinion more-

Donnies dark aesthetic, murderous humor, dangerous machines, deadpan attitude and lack of liking of magic combined with his alleged backstory and being friends with a human? U could really argue he got indoctrinated into being a villainous mad scientist or smth. They don't know that that's just him, Donnie TM. I can absolutely see them being worried that "Long lost brother" got brainwashed so badly and how annoying that could be for Donnie himself lol

I'm also curious on Donnies relationship with Splinter. Is it better than in canon or similar to Canon or worse? Since in Canon Donnie is craving parental approval, does he still here?

Thank u for (potentially) answering :)

First of all, "Drax Trio", thank you, I needed an easier way to refer to specifically Raph, Leo and Mikey in this AU so I'm gonna steal that

Second, yeah, Donnie acting like a cartoon villain is really just cementing the Drax Trio's idea that he's been corrupted by humans. You know Draxum's villain song in the show? I can totally see Donnie putting on a perfomance like that XD Speaking of Draxum, to be fair he's very alike Donnie in the way that he's fully embracing the whole Evil Scientist aesthetic, but in that case his sons would just excuse it with "oh haha dad's just a bit silly goofy don't worry about it it's not like he's actually evil!"

Anyway, you know how Mikey basically forced Draxum into having a redemtion arc in the show? He'd try to do the same with Donnie in this AU. I've been thinking about this for a while so I'm defintiely gonna draw it, but he's constantly going full Dr. Feelings mode trying to teach Donnie how to be a "good person" and such and Donnie finds it INCREDIBLY annoying!

And Splinter! Being a single parent taking care of a child who was created to be a super soldier while living in the sewers is HARD, but not nearly as hard as taking care four of them at the same time under the same conditions. So while Splinter is still dealing with depression and burn out in this AU, he's doing better than what he is in canon. For years Splinter and Donnie would literally only have each other, so they'd end up growing closer as a result. That being said, because Donnie didn't have any siblings to spend time with, he'd end up demanding a lot more attention from Splinter. Which he didn't always recieve, because his dad is still very much dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. To summarize, Splinter is still a flawed parent, but he's not terrible by any means, he and Donnie are close, but Donnie is also a lot more lonely (especially before meeting April).

#Tiz Sep AU #tizel talk #tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt au

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 3 MATCH 32

Mammon propaganda:

“He was done dirty in the first round, I hope he wins this time because he deserves it 

First of all, he hates you at the start but then he starts to like you but he exclaimed his hate too much at the start so he can't admit it 

Everyone knows that he likes MC, even his little D (who are demons familiars) thinks that they should date 

He is a classic tsundere but doesn't actually hurt you like other tsunderes but he is so bad at hiding his feelings that everyone is just ignores it 

He is the avatar of greed, meaning he is clingy which may be a turn away for some people but he cares for you so so much 

He has never turned into his demon form to hurt you (Asmo hasn't but he has tried to seduce you with his power)

Don't get me started on his story cards, he literally is so cute

He wants to be a mentor to Luke, like Lucifer was to him, he is only mean to Luke because he wants Luke to learn about how life isn't all sunshine and rainbows

He is also so hot, he is a bisexual panic 

He is bullied by his brothers but he cares for them so so much despite their bullying

I am so in love with him and have written so many fics about him 

Anyway, I'm going to stop here because otherwise I'll be here all day”

“First friend, first pact, practically the MC's first everything, he is a major Tsundere, he holds my heart hostage, I just want to smooch him, he and MC share a room, he is such a cute little bab, he does bully Luke (a child) but it's revealed that he just wants to show Luke that the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows and want help him figure things out

He is the cutest little guy, he cares for his brother 

His sin is greed so he does steal things from people but since lesson 1 he hasn't stolen anything from MC 

He wrote a song to propose 

Sure he is clingy but in a good way

He is so cute 

He adopted a child, which he had to leave in the care of witches and willingly let's the witches extort him 

There is so much that I can say about him but 1. Spoilers and 2. I don't think you want to read that much”

“OKAY SO. OH MY GOD. 

First person we're able to properly romance in game. AND FOR GOOD REASON. He's had MCs back from the beginning, hes the one real one in the game. He's always trying to protect us and its so nice. Puppy boy. He's so me as well??? Like he's such a doting boyfriend it's literally so cute. When MC had to go back up to Earth, he kept breaking the rotating schedule in order to call us more. He always gets MC gifts (avatar of greed love language being gift giving im gonna collapse) and he just drops the most romantic lines out of nowhere??? Like sir are you trying to give me a heart attack. He's the secretly traumatized comic relief. He has ADHD. He's canonically queer (MC doesnt have a set gender). He even likes Head pats. Vote Mammon.”

“HE'S SO PATHETIC AND CRINGEFAIL. I LOVE HIM”

Jaehee propaganda:

“only female love interest in MM, not included in the first round for SOME REASON, you literally go off and live your coffee shop au with her at the end of her route.”

“My lesbian wife. Open a bakery with her after convincing her that she doesn't have to give up her happiness to make money. She can pursue her passions. Also her backstory is so sad and I just wanna hug and kiss her and throw hands at her "family" for making her feel like she does. Also the Valentine's dlc, you get locked in the back of the bakery with her and... Yeah that's my wife. I love her dearly. Also can we just acknowledge that she's like the only path that involves almost none of the dramatic death defying nonsense. You're just gay and in love and it's beautiful”

#mammon #mammon obey me #obey me #obey me shall we date #jaehee kang #mystic messenger #mysme #Round 3 #MDDC 2

[livingemkayde]

ch v. just you

joel miller x f!reader x unrequited!tommy miller (no outbreak AU)

chapter five of chaser

warnings: 18+ minors please dni. smut, half porn half plot, unprotected p in v, oral, f!receiving, a little fingering, kinda dom!joel but hes sweet. rough sex and mentions of bruising. some verbal disagreements and fighting. love triangle forming formed. lots of angst, talk of miscommunications. age gap, reader is 23 and joel is 35. Tommy is 30. (ages of all characters and plot do not follow canon strictly for the story’s sake).

summary: you confront joel about, well, everything. you talk it out in more ways than one.

a/n: i been waitin for this one. TURN IT UP. i hope you guys like this slow burn reward, im happy with how this chapter came out. enjoy this before all the drama lol. love you all smsmsmsm.

Joel cuts you off, dips his head lower, his tongue dips into your entrance and when you whine and moan he trails higher, tasting you and gently sucking until he reaches your clit. You bite your lip in favor of screaming, and you can barely hear Joel whisper, like he’s in awe— “I knew it,” as he takes another taste of the slick dripping out of your entrance. “I fuckin’ knew it.” “What?” “Knew you’d taste like heaven,” he says with a muffled groan, sinking his tongue back into your aching hole, his nose rubbing against your clit in a way that makes you shut your eyes so tight you see stars. 

There are times you wish texting was never invented. 

You like calling people — hearing their voice. The intonations of their words, knowing exactly what they’re thinking. 

But there are other times, you thank the lord for creating the form of communication — because you have no idea what to say to Joel. 

You stare down at your phone. The text’s words float through your mind. Trying to desperately figure out what to say. 

Your thumbs fiddle with each other, you bite your lip as you try and concentrate on a suitable text. Joel’s contact name just stares back at you, unmoving.

You: going to the store on my own, i don’t need your—

You delete that text quickly as you start making a pot of coffee. 

You: i don’t think we should go together—

You delete that one too. 

You run a hand over your forehead, swiping through your phone to get to Tommy’s text.

You slump against your kitchen counter when you realize you don’t know what to say to either Millers. You look out the window, it’s a nice day out, the sun shining through the early morning dew. The spot in front of your house stares back at you. The spot where Tommy was parked in last night. Where he had cut you off after his question, and begged you to consider it. 

“Just think ‘bout it before you say no.” 

And when you hadn’t said anything—

“Please?” 

So you nodded, and you’re not sure why, but tears threatened to spill from your eyes, leaving the truck in disarray and falling asleep in much the same manner. 

When you woke up this morning, you hoped it had been a dream — his big brown eyes had never looked that desperate, and you know you fucked up by telling him you’ll think about it — when all you can think about is his brother. 

You stare back at Tommy’s messages and type in your own. 

You: can we talk in person?

You look at the words for a long time, before hitting send. You needed to clear the air as quickly as possible. 

You open Joel’s texts. The last couple ones just revolve around Sarah, pick up times, and what the plans were for dinner.

But the very last one, from last night — looks particularly menacing. Like it might grow wings and fangs and jump out of your phone. 

Joel M: Get home okay?

You sigh, ignoring his text and typing out your own. 

You: i think i’m gonna go shopping on my own soon. be by to drop off the stuff later

Whatever — you think to yourself before hitting send. 

_

You don’t even know what month it is. 

You hadn’t realized the calendars flicked to July, until you walked through the Party City and all the decorations you can find are red, white, and blue. The aisles are crowded, everyone getting last minute party favors and decorations in prep for Monday’s holiday.  

You find the birthday section, rifling through to get streamers, string lights, balloons, and banners. You smile to yourself when you find a small toy horse from that show Sarah likes. 

You put the toy into the basket.

The market is next, you haul ass to get as many two liters of soda you can carry, chips, and different snacks for the party. Tommy had managed to get a decent turn out from his RSVP (which was just a phone call asking if they could come) and you want to make sure there’s enough food for everyone. 

Your name being shouted from down the aisle snaps you out of your thoughts. It’s Janet Baker, one of the moms from Sarah’s soccer camp, she strides towards you pushing a cart full of hot dogs and buns. You distinctly remember seeing her at one of Sarah’s games. The one where Joel and Tommy both showed up, you, slotted to sit between them. 

“Hey, you!” she says, pulling you into an unexpected hug. 

“Oh! Hi, Mrs. Baker,” you reply shyly with a chuckle, her cart is abandoned when she gets a peek into yours. 

“Now, I told you to call me Janet, don’t be makin’ me feel old with all this ‘Mrs’ crap,” she chides, you smile, not really knowing what to say.

“Sorry, Janet,” you say with a chuckle. 

“What are you shoppin’ for missy? Fourth of July party?”

“Oh — uh —” you look down to your cart, “actually, Tommy’s birthday is tomorrow.” 

“...Tommy…?” she says, while looking up towards the sky. 

“Oh my god, sorry — Tommy Miller, Sarah’s uncle?” you say, trying to get it to ring a bell. She thinks for a long time, you’re about to say it’s not important but she cuts you off—

“That’s right! We met at that game last weekend,” she says, nodding her head, remembering the encounter. 

You remember that game. It was before all of these new — situations — with Joel. 

Sarah had come up to the three of you before the game started, a friend in tow. You were introduced to one of Sarah’s close accomplices, Katie. 

“Are you Mrs. Miller?” Katie had said, looking between you and Joel hesitantly. Your cheeks felt hot.

Joel stifled an awkward laugh beside you. Tommy was quiet.

“Oh, no, kiddo — ’M just Sarah’s nanny.” 

Tommy was silent the rest of the game. You don’t remember much after that. 

But you remember Janet, giving you a couple friendly smiles, when you introduced her to Tommy after the game had ended. The same smile she gives back to you right now.

“Yeah, just getting some decorations and food,” you say, pointing down towards your cart. 

“Well, aren’t you a sweet thing for throwin’ him a party.”

“I appreciate that, Janet. Why don’t you and your daughter come tomorrow, she can play with Sarah?”

“Oh, how nice of you to invite us. I sure hope Tommy’s okay with it,” she laughs. 

“He will be,” you say back, trying to match her enthused demeanor. Her bright eyes and almost obnoxious laugh make you chuckle to yourself a bit. 

She’s suddenly close to you, dipping into your personal space to whisper slyly so that no one else can hear her ask—

“Y’all aren’t datin’, right?” 

Your eyes widen. This woman’s timing is fucking impeccable, you’ll give her that. 

“No! Oh no, no, I’m just — I’m Sarah’s—” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Sarah’s babysitter. But between you and me, sweetie —” she leans even lower, her hand coming to the side of her mouth like she’s telling you a secret. “ — even though you’re Sarah’s babysitter, all us moms think you look mighty nice next to Joel.” 

You don’t even know what to say, Janet’s eyebrow sticking up like she’s hinting at something. Jesus, it’s like she’s had a private viewing of your life this past week and she’s taking the footage and taunting you with it. 

“M-me? With…?”

“Joel. Yes, doll—” she says, like now it’s her turn to get you to remember one of the Miller brothers, “—we see the way he looks at you.” 

“No — I think you might be mistaken, Janet—”

“Don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll see it soon too.”

_

Joel’s door stares back at you. 

You have all the bags in your hands, the plastic of the handle turns your fingertips white from the pressure of the two liters pulling it down, but you can’t bring yourself to knock. 

Not until you hear some movement from inside — not wanting him to catch you waiting outside his door like a creep. You kick the door a little with your shoe in place of freeing a hand to knock. 

Joel opens the door, his eyes widening at your state. 

“Jesus, what are you—” he cuts himself off with his movements, bending down to take the bags from your hands, though you protest. 

“I got it, Joel, just—” 

He takes the bags from you anyways. 

“Should’ve called me,” he mumbles while turning towards the kitchen counter, leaving you in the doorway sans the six bags you struggled to pick up all on your own. 

“Sorry. I —” 

You don’t really know what you’re apologizing for. 

“Thanks,” you say when he puts the bags on the table and begins to unpack them. You move to help him, opening up the fridge for some of the food. 

“What’s this?” he says, pulling out the toy horse for Sarah. 

“Oh. It's for Sarah. ‘S the horse from that show she likes.” 

He stares at you for a long time, before looking down towards the toy in his hand. 

“You got this for her?” 

“Yeah,” you say, confused as to why he seems surprised you got her a toy. 

“She’ll like that. Thanks,” he says, setting the toy on the dinner table and rifling through more stuff until it’s just decorations left in the bags.

“She’s at her sleepover?” you ask, looking around the living room at any signs of life. 

“Mhm,” Joel replies from the kitchen.

You wait in silence for a while, unsure of how to proceed. Normally you would probably just ask him if he wants to set up some decorations but this is far from normal. 

“You wanted to go without me?” he asks, when you stop walking around and stand in front of him. 

“I just didn’t want it to get too late, since Sarah was here…sorry” you say. You try to keep the hurt out of your voice. 

“‘S fine, I…wanted to—” he shakes his head, organizing his thoughts before changing the subject. It sort of surprises you — but it seems like this has been on his mind all day. “You didn’t answer my text. Had to call Tommy last night.” 

“Oh.” 

Shit. 

He sounds so fucking worried it almost makes you sick. 

“‘M sorry. It was a—long night.” 

“You got back okay? No issues?” 

Yeah. No fucking issues except your brother asked me out. 

You think you should say something. Not like Joel has the right to know, but it’s the right thing to do in your eyes regardless. 

“Did Tommy tell you…?”

“Did Tommy tell me what?”

Fuck. 

“He—uh—um,” his eyebrow lifts at your words, you can barely get the sentence out, your pulse thrumming with each second you stall with stuttering. 

“He asked me out. Last night.” 

Joel looks at you. It might be the first time you’ve ever seen that look in his eye. Like he’s the embodiment of disappointment. Like he doesn’t know what to do with his face, let alone his hands, his body. 

The warm sunlight peeking in through the window starts making you sweat the longer he stands looking at you. When he finally speaks you can barely hear him — the drawl you love so much, quiet and blanketed under an emotion you can’t place. 

“Tommy?” 

“Yeah.” 

He nods like he’s trying to collect his thoughts. Though, it only makes you more scared from the uncertainty of his words and actions. But surprisingly he doesn’t act out at all, he just gives you an emotionless face and words that seem harmless, but cut through your skin. 

“Oh. Happy f’you two.” 

“No—I—” 

“Nah—’s…’s good.” 

“Stop, Joel—” 

He stops. But you’re not entirely sure he’s listening very clearly. 

“I didn’t say yes. He told me to…think about it.” 

“And?”

“And I wanted to talk to you.” 

“About?”

“Jesus, Joel,” you say, exasperated. Your hand comes up to your forehead. “About last night? About…?” 

Everything. You want to say. But fall short. 

“What about last night?”

God, was this all in your head? It certainly didn’t feel like that at the bar. Nor on the front porch when he almost kissed you, or on the phone that same fatal night. 

“Joel,” you plead with him, your voice breaking a bit. He breaks your eye contact when you say his name, almost like it hurts him to hear you say it. This game you two are playing right now is fucking ridiculous, an old tired version of the one from last night, in front of the bar. 

“There’s nothing to talk—” 

“Don’t do that. You can’t just fucking—” you almost laugh. 

Who the hell is this guy in front of you? You continue, even through your ragged breaths and tears that now stain your cheeks.

“You can’t. Don’t—”

“He’s my brother.”

“So? I knew you before any of this—” 

“He’s my brother.” 

His loud voice cuts off any thoughts you had forming. You wait for a while, trying to understand what he means by that — maybe this is some petty competition they have going and Joel feels like he’s losing. You don’t know what to think of their dynamic anymore.

“I can’t just ignore it,” you say. You hate how your voice sounds so small. “I didn’t want it like this,” you say, more tears falling, you try to wipe them away quickly, embarrassed to cry in front of him.

“You think I do?” his rhetorical question lingers in the air when you don’t respond. “That fuckin’ day you met Tommy, he—” Joel can’t even look at you anymore. 

“He asked me if I — liked you — or whatever, ‘n I said no. You and I were done. We had just decided it was over.” 

“So you’re just gonna throw this away because he called dibs?”

“I ain’t throwin’ anythin’ away—” he shakes his head. “I don’t wanna throw this away.”

“Right. Like last night?” 

“So this is about Caroline? I told you that I don’t like her — it was a fuckin’ set up.”

“This is not about Caroline,” you could almost laugh. 

He gives you a knowing look. You both know this is definitely not about Caroline.

“‘M sorry. About last night, ‘bout everythin’, but you left,” Joel says, “You wanted to leave. I—I wasn’t gonna stop you.” 

“I thought you were gonna come with me.”

That shuts him up. He looks at you with a slack jaw, like he was going to say something already braced on his tongue but at your response, he became speechless. Like your sentence smacked the words out of his own mouth. 

“I wanted you to come with me,” you say, softer this time. “And then you—fucking—left me and got Tommy.” 

“Tommy was—”

“I didn’t want Tommy. I don’t want Tommy.” you say, your voice breaking more with each confession. “But you wanted to hand me off to him—”

“C’mon. ‘F course that’s not what I wanted. You know that.”

“Then what? Because this isn’t a game to me, Joel.”

“‘S not a game,” he forces out, like he’s tired of playing too. “It was never a game.”

You stay silent, taken back by his words. You can tell his head is spinning, not really sure of what to say or rather, how to articulate his feelings. 

“This is — you’re fucking…Jesus, I don’t know,” he starts, but begins to pace around the room, unable to finish. 

You stay silent, watching him walk around slowly until he’s rooted right in front of you, closer than before. 

“‘S a mess. Tommy is — you’re gonna break his heart because this is —”

You raise your eyebrows, pleading with him to continue, to finally say what he’s been thinking about since you two met at the bar. 

“This is real. You’re real.”

Your heartbeat bangs in your ears, he’s closer than before. You don’t remember when he got so close. Close enough that when he talks after an unbearable silence, you can feel his breath on your nose. 

“But you don’t know. You don’t see — any of it.”

“I see you, I —” you can’t get much out because your breath hitches. Big brown eyes stare back into yours. “Help me — show me,” you hiccup out while his hot breath catches your eyelashes. 

His hand reaches down, like last night, pulling you closer, this time, you let him. His fingers sprawl out across your cheeks, feeling your neck, his big brown eyes pulling you in. He's a bit more breathless than you if that’s even possible. You keep blinking like you’re scared it might be a dream. 

You look up at him. For the first time in a while your gaze isn’t cut short by wandering eyes or loud interrupting voices. 

He dips down, his lips just barely touching yours, letting you make the final move towards him, kissing him, tasting him. It might be silly, but you remember his taste from all the weeks before. It feels like yesterday when he moans a bit in your mouth, and your hands fly to his chest to steady your shaky knees. 

He breaks away first, you’re both panting into each other, like you’ve just surfaced from being underwater for so long — maybe you have been. 

But he doesn’t say anything, only takes your hand in his and with a couple panting sighs, pulls you towards the stairs, towards his bedroom. He looks at you with a silent question etched on his face. 

You nod before you know what’s happening, and he’s whisking you off into his room. You’ve never been in his room before, upstairs, sure, to help Sarah with things. But his room was unspokenly off limits. It smells like him, and as the tears reside and the genuine want rushes over you, it seems like he’s one step ahead of you, closing the door, and guiding you back towards the bed. 

He’s kissing you, it’s sloppy but calculated at the same time. So much pent up frustrations and wandering eyes seemed to break at the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands running up and down your body. 

You’re moaning and whimpering into his mouth, almost desperate despite always trying to remain stoic. But who are you kidding, it’s Joel. 

“Please,” you bite when his mouth trails kisses down your neck and even more so when he slips your top off, catching your nipple in his hot mouth. 

“Joel,” you whine again, when all he does is hum against your sensitive bud. 

“Baby,” he says, and you notice the drawl is back. Like it never left, rich and honeyed — matching what you imagine every night before bed — hell — every waking moment. 

You’re naked before you muster the brain power to notice him taking your clothes off. He doesn’t bother with his clothes, almost like he’s too eager to see you, forgetting about himself. You claw at his flannel but he pushes your hands back and over your head, rending your arms useless. 

His other hand reaches down, finding your aching cunt dripping onto the gray bed sheets and he genuinely groans at the feeling. Brooding Joel Miller reduced to a moaning mess at the feeling of you wet and hot for him. The thought drives you up the walls a bit. 

“Fuckin’ wet, so fuckin’ wet, sweetheart,” he grumbles more to himself than to you. 

He runs his fingers over your outer lips while mouthing at your neck — you whimper and squirm under his grasp but his hand just holds yours harder. It might — no, it definitely will leave bruises on your wrists the next morning, but you could care less. The biting pain of it shoots right down to that white hot burn in your lower stomach. 

“Quit movin’,” he says while beginning to trail down, almost like a warning for when he releases your wrists and settles in between your legs. He pants hot breath onto your swollen folds and despite his warning, you squirm underneath him. Joel seems a bit too desperate to tell you to stop or punish you otherwise. 

When his lips place a hesitant kiss to your clit you almost scream, forcing his head in between your thighs and when he stops, you realize you might be squeezing him too tight. You sit up a bit, releasing your thighs when he stops and looks up at you. 

“‘M sorry — shit — I — no one’s ever…I’m sorry, Joel—” 

“‘M fine, lay back down.”

You do lay back down, but you're hesitant. 

“No one ever do this to you, baby?” he asks, smiling up at you from between your legs, your face feels hot and you hide a shy smile. He mouths at your thighs and places a few gentle kisses to your folds. 

“No, I — I guess not.” 

“It feel good?”

“Good? Joel it feels fucking—” 

Joel cuts you off, dips his head lower, his tongue dips into your entrance and when you whine and moan he trails higher, tasting you and gently sucking until he reaches your clit. You bite your lip in favor of screaming, and you can barely hear Joel whisper, like he’s in awe—

“I knew it,” as he takes another taste of the slick dripping out of your entrance. “I fuckin’ knew it.”

“What?”

“Knew you’d taste like heaven,” he says with a muffled groan, sinking his tongue back into your aching hole, his nose rubbing against your clit in a way that makes you shut your eyes so tight you see stars. 

His mouth feels like a shot. Your grip in his hair, more like the chaser, grounding you back to the bed, his bed. In his room. The bite of him seeping through every corner of your body, his flat tongue pulling your fast approaching orgasm out of you so quickly you forget your name. 

“Joel, I—” 

You shut up because you think he knows, his hum against you sending vibrations through your clit, his wide palms coming up to grasp at your thighs until the spasms from your orgasm cease. 

He keeps going even after you come down from your high, mouthing at your entrance which seems to get even wetter after you come. He snakes back up to kiss you, you moan into his mouth at the taste of your own slick all over his lips. 

The feeling of his clothed length pressed into your all too sensitive cunt makes the wanting need spark back up, like he’s blowing hot air onto a fire starter, and it just ignited. 

“Need you,” you moan into his lips as he kisses you, his hands coming to grab your breasts, he’s everywhere, and you need more. And you need it now. 

He pulls back at your words, a darker look on his face. You remember this look from the bathroom, when he asked you to beg for his cock, his name, and to cum inside your hot cunt. 

“I — I don’t think I can be gentle, baby — I don’t wanna hurt you.” 

“Please, want it rough,” you tell him, looking back into his brown eyes, almost pleading. 

I just need you.

“Fuck, darlin’,” he says with your final words, your permission. Joel suddenly hauls you up towards the head of the bed so you’re resting against his pillows. He shucks off his flannel and t-shirt, undoing the belt buckle of his pants in such a timely manner, if you weren’t watching him intently you might’ve missed it. 

He’s kissing you, rubbing his cock through the slick of your folds, you remember the punch of his girth and how the length of his cock almost kissed your cervix, and you don’t know if you’ll ever be prepared for that feeling, especially now, when you’re pent up, and tense and you just need him. 

“God, feel fuckin’ perfect, baby,” he says, running the tip of his cock through your folds, when it hits your clit you buck up against him, but he falters. 

“Easy.”

His voice, his drawl, a bit darker, but you’re not scared. Like he said before, he can’t go easy, he can’t be gentle. You don’t want him to, anyway. 

But what surprises you is when the tip of his cock comes to fit snug against your entrance, he falters. Almost like he’s asking the final permission, in a dark drawl that might almost sound whiny if he wasn’t so brooding—

“Can I? Please?”

“Yes. Joel, yes, please — ngh —” he cuts you off, sinking into your heat with a tight thrust, you’re surprised at the stretch of his length, it’s like he barely fits. 

“What…Jesus — you —?” 

“Didn’t touch myself much,” you admit, knowing what he’s saying; How are you so fucking tight? 

“Was trying not to think — ngh — about you.” 

Your face feels a bit hot when you remember your phone call half a week ago. It was one of the first times following the night at the bar you touched yourself, and there was definitely no time to see anyone in the last couple weeks. 

Joel can evidently feel that too, groaning when he sinks in to the hilt, his breath punching somewhere near your ear, his hand bruising your waist with the force that he grips you with. 

“You gotta relax, baby, I —” 

“Please just — move, Joel,” he laughs a bit at your neediness, but it’s cut off with a groan as he moves, retreating a fraction of an inch before pushing back in, rending your breathless, boneless. 

He picks up his pace when you start to relax around him, mold to him, like he’s the only one who will ever fit inside you. His groans and grunts are no match to mask your whimpers, his praises ring through your head, you feel weightless. 

“Fuckin’ perfect, angel,” he groans, you claw at his back, probably leaving scratch marks but you’re too fucked out to care. “Just like I remembered.”

It feels like old times. Before all this mess, before the incident in the car, on the porch, outside the bar. Before Tommy, or Caroline, or Janet fucking Baker. Before everything. Before all the laters and everything unsaid. Like old times. Like he’s saying Hi for the first time and not Goodbye like he has been for the last week. 

His grip on your waist tightens if possible — so much for wearing a bikini tomorrow at the party. The bite of his fingers almost snap you out of it, but he feels so good, teetering you right on the edge of painful as he spears into you with no remorse. It’s like he can’t help himself, and he probably can’t considering all the blue balls over the last few weeks. 

For some reason that spurs you on further, your orgasm quickly approaches with each stab of his fingertips digging into you, his hot breath near your face, and the feeling of coarse hair nudging at your clit just right. 

“J-Joel,” you moan, but you don’t think you have to tell him you’re close. You know he can feel it. 

“Missed you so much – fuck, baby,” he groans, placing hot kisses on your neck, “Needed you. Needed this.” 

“Joel—” it’s already braced on your lips, you both know it. An unspoken ritual that feels way too possessive for either of your own good — but you say it anyways and he groans all the same. 

“Can I cum? Joel, please?” 

You don’t really hear much aside from his small yes and your vision blinks white as you moan out long and deep into his ear. He fucks you through it, grunting out praises when he feels you get impossibly tight around him. 

It might even be too much but you don’t care. 

You wait for him, your aftershocks sending him closer to his own release as his hips stutter and he gets out one last demand that sends him over the edge. 

“Say it’s me — sweetheart. Please,” he groans, almost begging. Like it’s the last thing that will push him towards bliss. 

“‘S you, Joel — it’s-’s always been you,” you comply and feel him groan and shudder when his orgasm rolls through him. You can feel the hot stickiness of it roll through you, and he holds himself up to whisper one last thing to you before you both slump onto the bed and fall asleep. 

“Tell him no. Tell him — just — just be with me.” 

You nod, panting, he finally falls into the crook of your neck and you welcome it graciously, pulling at his curls until you fall asleep. 

“Okay,” you whisper. 

_

chapter vi. bruises

taglist! comment or message me if you want to be added. (for this series, i took the liberty of adding you to the taglist if you commented that you wanted more parts on chaser. you can let me know if you want to be taken off) kisses!

@sofiparallel @akah565 @going-to-californiaxx @gintheginger @defnotashifter @missgurrl @daddy-din @earthtogrogu @rooney-verse @ratoonstown @skysmiller @pedritosdarling @lovely-ateez @pluzo @spongebobspooploop @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @tsunamistorm123 @awhoreforalotofshows @disassociation-daydreams @anoverwhelmingdin @violinchick @rhoorl @yoongjennie88

@rainbowcosmicchaos @pedropascalissofine @purplemechanics @suzmagine @untamedheart81 @hellaradd @josephine1837 @noisynightmarepoetry @lawh0re @joelsversion @vanillen @brujitafantomatico @cartoon-garbage04 @jpbplvr @whattownheadshake @beccerjune @pedrotonin @sen-mirjahaal @awesomebunnyqueen @bluetattoos @sunnysaphira @vickywallace @bbyanarchist @gossipgirl-03 @casa-boiardi

@anavatazes @joeldjarin @l0vem3n @brinabees @lmariephoto37 @tsunamistorm123 @splicer13vex @turtles-all-the-way-d0wn @withasideofmeg @dinwifey

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #the last of us hbo #joel miller #joel miller self insert #the last of us #joel fic #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fic #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal as joel miller #joel miller smut #smut #joel x f!reader #joel x female reader #joel x you #tlou fanfiction #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #dom!joel #dom!joel miller #tommy miller #chaser

[attyattlaw]

cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread

i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy

someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.

given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.

i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.

Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer

Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.

my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.

Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.

#one piece #trafalgar law #eustass kid #eustass kidd #op killer #massacre soldier killer #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #donquixote doflamingo #was gonna do robin and perona too at least but like...i have a job and stuff

[emilykaldwen]

Fic Recs!

I decided to grab a few fics that I was recently introduced to as well as fics I haven't seen get a lot of traction in the space. This is just a personal list that I wanted to share!

@corporalicent's Rhaenicent Fics at AO3 - Cata is a beast when it comes to writing this ship (as well as other fandoms!) and has some really creative AUs out there: I mean come on: Nun!Rhaenyra and Novice!Alicent? We're here for that!

@lullaebies GenderSwapped!Green Kids AU Protector of the Realm on AO3 - So Helaena is now the only *son* of Viserys and Alicent, and Aegon/Aemond/Daeron were born girls. How intriguing is that! They are on a break for right now but go give that fic a look! Not to mention they write Aegon III/Jaehaera content that I just think is chef's kiss.

@dragonsoftheeast Firebender!Targaryen/No Dragons Dance AU Fire Made Flesh on AO3 - Um Hi, Helaena being the one to lose the eye? Actual good political matches. Unparralelled usage of High Valyrian and Valyrian Culture world building???? Sign me the fuck up! Dote is an amazing crafter of such a unique and fantastic canon divergence and I am constantly surprised more people aren't squealing about this amazing story that packs in so many twists and turns and is truly so thoughtful.

@theothermaidoftarth writing some Baela/Daeron and is currently working on Nettles/Cregan check out Song for Evermore on AO3 - Rare Pairs are a precious thing in any fandom and my girl is killing it with some fascinating ideas and utterly fantastic characterizations. We love IC AUs!

@gwenllian-in-the-abbey is leading the Baela/Aegon ship with her solo fic All Kings Are Beautiful on AO3, an 'Aegon was named heir' AU, as well as her other co-written work - Gwen's work reads like a historical fiction novel and that's really my favorite kind of thing. I haven't been able to read everything she's done but man, the nuance! The stakes! the ideas! She brings what I love to call an Old School A Song of Ice and Fire fic vibe to HotD space and I mean this with the highest of praise.

@selfproclaimedunicorn is writing Sins of the Father on AO3 because what if Rhea and Daemon actually had some kids but things still went sideways? - HELLO! MISA? Misa's talent for burying her fingers into every character we see and pulling out all the bits and bobs that make them tick? Is just.. I want to write this well when I grow up. The way she has seamlessly altered canon to the point where I'll see gifsets of scenes and go 'Where are Yorick and Ella?'. Also she has an Alicent x OC fic, and I would lay my life down for Aldreda Farwynd, my tall seal mommy.

@mimikoflamemaker is writing Daemon centric OC fic the False Dragon on AO3 - I haven't been able to dive into this yet but have talked fic and plotting with Justine. Their passion for the source is palpable and her creative ideas deserve to reach more people! Vaerra and Elyas are fascinating OCs with intriguing connections that you do not want to miss!

@jotterjots / @bronzefuryfic is also writing a 'What if Daemon and Rhea had a daughter' AU, Bronze Fury both on tumblr and AO3 - JJ is a real one and I always enjoy her insights. I actually had NO IDEA! that she was writing fic but from what I've read, it looks fantastic!

@acrossthesestars is writing Haunt Me, an Aemond War Bride AU that has me by the throat on AO3 - It's not a list without mentioning this amazing fic that's almost to the finish line. Alex's command of conflict and characterization where characters are allowed to be imperfect is something more of us need to dive into! We love a byronic lead in Aemond where all his edges and issues are fully acknowledged, a wily and fantastic female lead in Wylla Karstark, and just an overall amazing AU where these characters are clawing for their happy ending.

@branwendaughterofllyr is writing a 'What if Vizzy and Daemon's youngest brother lives and has a daughter' AU, A poison Tree on AO3 - I haven't been able to dig into this yet but it's just such a fascinating and original concept to make this Dance make a little more sense, and bring more high stakes. She's a long time ASOIAF writer who is passionate about the source material and here to show you what this world can be. Do go check her work out!

#house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #hotd fic #fic rec #wanted to spread the love around and put my actions to my words here

[hugogetsrawed]

VARIGO CANON COMPLIANT ROUNDUP

A collection of all the Canonverse Varigo that I've enjoyed over the past three years. It is likely that there are a few missing due to them being deleted or my memory being poor. Nonetheless, pls enjoy.

Mature: +++ Explicit: *** Not Rated: 0

Teen/Gen: Not Marked

hello to my old heart by izabellwit

“Why do you trust me so much?”

Or: the beginning of the end for the betrayer. In which Hugo asks a long-overdue question, and gets the answer he never wanted to hear.

Say You Won't Let Go (I Won't) by DragonTalyn

Hugo needs some reassurance that Varian isn't going to leave

The Simple Act of Scraps Unraveling by @hybrix-hidings

There is a moment, on the trail to the library, where Varian realizes that he will love this man.

-

Or: Hugo and Varian enjoy a show, barefaced.

(Prompt #2 - Fireworks)

Snippets in Time by @sonicgetsrawed

Snippets of Varian’s adventures through the seven kingdoms to save his mother.

Darling you look perfect tonight by @the-reverse-mermaid

Hugo, Varian and Yong are invited to a winter holiday event in Nuru's kingdom, but one of them is having significantly less fun than the others… Hugo is already feeling insecure when a snobby noble decides to turn her nose up at him and make everything worse. Good thing his friends are there for him.

Small Chocolate Confections by @glitter-lisp +++

Sending Varian in to distract their target isn’t ideal, but someone has to keep him occupied while Hugo searches his room, and the duke made his interest pretty clear at dinner last night.

Hugo’s fine with that. Hugo’s very good at what he does, and so focused on the task at hand, and completely unbothered by the thought of Varian hanging out with a handsome guy who's probably feeding him fancy little desserts and talking about how rich he is while Hugo crawls around upstairs looking for loose floorboards and secret drawers.

Save Your Convictions (They Never Will Do) by @littlemisslol-fic

Varian and Hugo return to Corona after the events of the Varian and the Seven Kingdoms AU, with mixed reception. Turns out Rapunzel won't hold a grudge against people who slight her, but if they hurt her friends? And then show up still dating said friend?

Let's just say Hugo's got a storm coming.

The Dating Game by @littlemisslol-fic

In which Rapunzel, bless her heart, didn't know Varian and Hugo are dating, and thus takes it upon herself to find her darling baby brother a man of proper pedigree if it kills her. However, bloodlines aren't everything, and her choices are... less than stellar.

Darling, so It Goes (Some Things Are Meant to Be) by @littlemisslol-fic

My submissions for Effin' Varigo week! Big thanks to battybatzgirl for setting it up!

Hugo and Varian have been dating for three years, and are finally ready to take their relationship to somewhere a lot more serious. However, the world has other plans. With Hugo's proposal in shambles, and Varian focused on saving their friends, they think things can't really get any worse.

They would be wrong.

Prompts are Family ‧ Firework ‧ Fever ‧ Flirt ‧ Fight/Forgive ‧ Future ‧ and Free Day!

as long as it leaves a mark by @aziraphalesbookkeeper

For a guy who never takes off his gloves, Varian sure does lose them a lot. It’s not really the gloves Hugo notices though—it’s the scars underneath them.

Or: 5 times Hugo tries to take off Varian's gloves + 1 time he doesn't have to.

Whumptober Day 27: Scars AILESS Whumptober Day 9: Scar Reveal

We Carry Through by @aziraphalesbookkeeper

Adjusting to living in the castle with Varian is hard. Going from having nothing to having everything makes Hugo feel...twitchy. Luckily, there's one person who knows exactly what he's going through. Unfortunately, it's Fitzherbert.

Prompt: Family

The Touch of Sunlight by TheArtistsMuse ***

Varian was used to being kidnapped- as sad as that sounds- but he can always trust his friends to save him. Only this time was different, and now something is deeply bothering Hugo. Will Varian be able to get his secretive boyfriend to open up? Will they be able to figure out why he was taken?

... Will Varian be able to hide his very inconveniently timed sexual awakening?

meteor shower by @oshunalchemy 0

varian has a nightmare.

Wither and Decay by @eggmuffinwaffles

The Moonstone and the Sundrop were gone, the trials were completed, the Eternal Library was opened. Everything in Corona had returned to as close to normal as it could possibly get- but Corona seems to have a habit of attracting trouble. When old enemies arise, bent on her downfall, it will take more than just quick wit and luck to ensure that they fail.

My Head's Above The Rain and Roses by @eggmuffinwaffles

Whumptober Day 5: Every Whumpee Needs

Varian, Hugo, Nuru and Yong decide to go camping for the first time in a while after the trials. What could go wrong?

The answer is everything. Everything can go wrong.

Aka Part 1/3 of Hugo learning to like the TTS gang

Maybe if You Fixed the Whole World by Yourself by @eggmuffinwaffles

Whumptober Day 7: The Way You Shake and Shiver

Hugo had a really unfortunate habit of ruining his own life. It wasn’t intentional- if you asked him, he’d swear up and down that he played absolutely no part in causing his entire life to go up in flames, and yet time after time he would keep doing it. Funny how consequences work.

Maybe he was being a little bit dramatic.

OR:

Hugo finds himself being blackmailed by a noble at a ball, and gets help from an unexpected source

Part 2/3 of Hugo learning to like the TTS gang

Keeping Me Up At Night by @eggmuffinwaffles

Whumptober Day 29: What Doesn't Kill Me

Even a year after moving to Corona, sometimes Hugo's guilt finds itself creeping into his dreams. In the middle of an episode, he realizes he has more in common with Rapunzel than he thought.

Part 3/3 of Hugo learning to like the TTS gang

Turning Saints Into A Sea by @eggmuffinwaffles

Whumptober Day 25/Day 30: Silence is Golden/Note to Self Don't Get Kidnapped

Varian has to confront his jealousy head on when Hugo's ex finds herself back in Corona. Unfortunately her return might not be as innocent as she wants them to believe.

I Won't Let You Pull Me Down by @eggmuffinwaffles

Whumptober 2022 Day 16: No Way Out

Hugo and Varian get into a fight. Instead of handling it like an emotionally healthy adult, Hugo manages to go and get himself possessed.

Possession 2 electric boogaloo baby

Lessons in Luxury by @varibean

All his life, Hugo wanted nothing more than to live a live of riches and luxury. He had always failed to imagine what a change like that would entail. Real life was becoming too much like a fantasy and it was always the same questioned that brought him hurdling back to reality.

"Have you eaten today?"

Amalgam by @varibean 0

After relying on Ulla’s notebook to help them through their journey, the gang find that the next kingdom has little to no notes on where the next trial takes place. Their only clue is a location that might have a lead on where to go next. However, after a royal mess up on Hugo’s part, they’re left up the creek without a paddle. Not only are tensions high, but emotions as well. One thing was certain though: Hugo and Varian did not mix well.

#fic recs #canonverse fic #varigo #vat7k #varigo fanfiction #vat7k fanfiction #varian and the seven kingdoms #my recs

[novalizinpeace]

It interests me that in your smiling critters au that mommy long legs and catnap have essentially switched personalities and roles with each other. In canon Marie is emotionally unstable and childish, killing the other toys when they fail her and flying into a murderous temper tantrum when we escape the games. While Theodore is relatively more well adjusted, being able to negotiate with ms delight and hunt us using intelligent tactics. In your au however Theo is the emotionally unstable one, flying into a rage and attacking the critters when his VHS breaks, even though they cannot possibly be blamed for it, and not understanding why he’s unable to kill Nell. While Marie is stable enough to serve as one of the leaders of the heretics and make reasonable decisions such as allowing the flower festival. I kinda what to know more about what circumstances could lead to these differences from canon.

IDK it was just interesting and your au gave me brainrot, I hope I’m not too much of a bother

I really love when i get this type of ask 'cause they get me excited about my own character process in the story, love to see other catching this details!

Now, let me answer you.

Yeah, Mommy and Catnap were switched here, and it was intentional.

The reason, you can already guess it: The gang.

Idk how close the critters were in canon, Dogday only tell us they were against the Prototype, but apart from that, nothing more. So we can guess the toys didn't really bonded.

In Canon, Mommy probably was all alone, or with toys that were afraid of her (like Bunzo and the mini huggies), so she lost her mind, the child inside of her fighting due a mix of trauma and insolation, and that how we get a Mommy so mentally unstable in game (she probably was better in dealing with her outburst before, but 10 years alone can mess with anybody's mind).

On the other side, Catnap has the prototype to practically raise him, so he ''turned out fine'' in a sense of, buring/killing completly the child inside him, there's no Theodore anymore, just a loyal soldier of the prototype, and since he didn't have attachment to the other critters, the idea of hunt them and kill them wasn't that bad, he only needed the prototype, so there was nothing to break him mentally.

Now in my Au, The gang changed everything.

Mommy wasn't left alone after the hour of Joy, she has someone more mentally clear (Alba) to help her keep her mind in check, she cared for them before and after the massacre, she was able to grown as a person without the constant pressure of Play.Co, so the outburst were less big after a time, to the point of been a really caring leader when needed. In a way, the gang save her.

On the other side, Catnap hasn't been able to kill Theodore from inside him, 'cause there's something that keep Theodore's presence in this world: Nell. Doesn't matter how much the prototype try to help catnap ignore the annoying voice in his mind, Theodore keep a strong hold in Catnap's actions, and forcing him to act like the cartoon version in a way to fake a reality to make himself feels better: Theodore wants to be happy like cartoon catnap, wants to have his brother care like him, wants to be loved like him... But he can't, 'cause he's a monster, his brother hate him, he was taking away by the other critters, nobody like him..... All that jazz, Catnap's outbursts are actually a way to reflect the internal conflict he has with the kid inside him, a conflict he had been leave alone to deal with.

there's more i could say about it, but let leave that for other posts.

#poppy playtime #smiling critters #smiling critters arg #ask #nova say

[mynameisnotsoda]

NOW INTRODUCING.... THE CRITTERS !!!

Technically Corvid is still a part of an au, i really like everyone's designs so i guess its just like a weird little au that are also kinda ocs?? Idk. Im still tagging it as the animatronicfication au and using the other ccs names but im completely separating wilbur from Corvid.

The one that probably changed the most is simp LMAO i just went back to his old design that was inspired by Luna (@starrixle's transfem simpbur turned oc) and Spencer is such a fitting name in my mind i literally can not imagine him with a different name *bwomp*

Also I'm working on refs for the other characters associated with the respective critters! I wanna finish them all and dump them into one post and I'll link it here when I'm done.

ANYWAY INFODUMP TIME

Before we go into individual characters i want to say that this is absolutely Minecraft. Like. The world is built off of Minecraft lore yk !!!! The overworld will still be called the overworld but it's basically just earth, with more magic and humanoid species! Along with supernatural creatures and cryptids n stuff :D also with more advanced tech considering Corvid exists pFF

Spencer for the most part kinda was like he is in canon or whatever. She used to lean more towards incel ideology because she was REALLY insecure and uncomfortable with herself for the longest time. Despite that, Spencer and Adrianne (egirl) started dating when they were 17, his unhealthy obsession with her was only fueled by her unhealthy attachment to him. They needed each other and it wasn't good for either of them. Spencer had developed horrible separation anxiety which only made things worse. Over time Adrianne became suffocated by his constant neediness, overwhelming insecurity, short temper and lack of contribution to household chores. It pained her to leave, but things needed to change. It wasn't until the breakup that Spencer met Shepard, who was his first irl friend in a long time. They met when they were around 22/23, at first Spencer just used Shepard as a distraction from Adrianne, especially since he was surprised that they wanted to even be his friend in the first place. But after a while he genuinely started to enjoy their company, plus they offered him really good advice and helped him through a gender/sexuality crisis. Eventually they became partners! Maybe not romantically, as they're both aromantic, but life partners nonetheless.

OH and i did make Spencer white/Salvadoran. Her mom is the first generation from immigrant parents while her dad is British; And her dad's younger brother is Adam's dad! He's also an ex-christian, he left due to religious trauma and moved to America to escape his family hA

Spencer's also a no sabo kid LMAO (he knows some words/phrases but other than that he cant speak Spanish to save his life)

ALSO ALSO. Oh my god i could talk about Spence all day LMAO but i made him a werewolf !!!! Hes SOO jealous of Adam because she wanted the cat genes but instead got bitten and turned into a werewolf as a teenager. She's done a pretty good job at hiding it from her family so Shepard's the only one who knows.

I already dumped everything about Adam into that other post, so I don't really have much else to add. HOWEVER !! Him and Spence are cousins now :3 Adam doesn't get to meet Spencer in person until he moves to America with Charlie & co, but he does follow her socials with his secret accounts that his parents don't know about. The only reason they know they're cousins is because Spencer's dad told her so and she reached out! Much to the dismay of Adam's parents but they've secretly kept in touch online.

Keith's pretty much stayed the same apart from a slight design revamp. Although I've made him a little older since originally i made him look young. But then I decided hes a dad so i started drawing him older for the asks pFF he also has a hooked nose now! In case it's not obvious. Keith got married to Jean VERY young, they were maybe 17/18 in human years. It was an arranged marriage and their only goal was to have an heir to the throne. Well they did, they had two kids, the eldest being a boy named Lune and the youngest being a girl named Sunny, who's the would be heir. Until Jean took both the kids and left. It was completely unprompted and left everyone in the kingdom confused, especially Keith. Sure, they had a loveless marriage and maybe he was insufferable at times, but he wanted to make it work if not for the kids then for the kingdom! But its been almost a year since she left, he's lost hope in ever finding her. Keith desperately wants his kids back, not because Sunny is the rightful heir— though that is part of it—but he loves them both dearly. He misses them the most.

Wilfred has pretty much stayed the same as well! I did give him a grey tshirt and darker hair to further distance his design from wilbur though. Hes just as unhinged and immoral as he used to be !!!! Nothing has changed aside from appearance actually.

Tobi also pretty much stayed the same except for its now got an orange jumper and lighter brown hair pFF although i do now have a story for him! Tobi was found by Alejandro in a storage auction, he managed to sell a lot of pretty valuable things from there but Tobi stood out, obviously, so he kept it. Alejandro is a travel vlogger and lives in an RV with his friends: Tomas, Philip and Charles. His friends just call him Alex. Anyway, they go from town to town trying local food, visiting tourists traps and vlogging the journey! While doing that they also try to find out how to get Tobi's memories back and possibly turn him human again, if they even can. So far they haven't had much luck but maybe one day...

Corvid was created as the backup singer and lead guitarist of the first all animatronic band! Brought to you by Beloved Entertainment! The other members include lead singer Ranboo Beloved, keytarist Tommy Raccoon, and bassist James Tomcat. Located in Ranboo's Mega Pizzaplex, the only location in the world (so far). Corvid adopts a showman personality while on stage, hes charismatic and such a heartthrob, very popular with the ladies. Off stage he's very calm and soft spoken, he's rather shy but still manages to be a flirt and a tease. Lightly poking fun at his bandmates, coworkers and even guests at times. He's definitely a fan favorite for a reason!

This was so fun to write and i cant wait to share more !!!! Stay tuned !!!!!!

#simpbur #studentbur #keith the dragon #dr malpractice #tinybur #animatronicfication au #sodas critters

[grimalkinmessor]

Once upon a day, in some distant AU, Light and L have swapped bodies. What happens next?

I have so many questions. What caused them to swap bodies? Do they know what the cause is? Do they know how long they're going to be like that? At what point in canon are we in? Or is this like a soulmate "You bodies once a year until you find them" thing? I NEED CONTEXT—

Guh. Okay. So, assuming that it happened at some point during canon, and that they already know each other, a few things could happen.

L wakes up in Light's body. Already off to a weird start, because L rarely ever sleeps and even when he does it's typically not in a bed. Plus L feels—rested?? He doesn't ache anywhere?? He recognizes Light's bedroom, of course, and after that it wouldn't take him long to adjust and believe. "This is happening now."

HOWEVER due to my own personal headcanons this means that L can now see Ryuk. L is now the owner of the Death Note even if he doesn't know where it is or even what it is. Ryuk, being a Shinigami, sees that Light's name has changed and is aware of the swap immediately, so he doesn't spill shit to L, even as he makes cryptic jokes and drops a few no-context hints. So L now has knowledge of Ryuk, but with no way to prove his existence to other people. L, of course, after seeing Ryuk begins a thorough snooping of Light's room. He rifles through all his stuff, sprays all his colognes, peruses his closet and knickknacks, and yes—spends a very long time running his hands all over and ogling Light's naked body. For The Case™.

Then L leaves to go to the Task Force building, and doesn't really,,,bother to explain himself to Sayu or Sachiko beyond "I seem to have found myself in Light-kun's body. No I can't tell you who I am it's an international secret. Good day." He is dressed in Light's brightest colored sweater (a Christmas one he found at the back of Light's closet), and sweatpants. Sayu thinks her brother has had a mental breakdown. Sachiko believes him almost immediately.

Light wakes up in L's body. He's curled up on a couch fetal position, still in jeans and a sweater, and everything hurts. Light never falls asleep with his day clothes on, never falls asleep on the couch, and since he picked up the Death Note, he's never woken up without Ryuk immediately greeting him/hovering over him/prodding for apples. It doesn't take him long to figure it out either, especially considering L's unique appearance. Light rolls with denial for about five minutes before he abruptly compartmentalizes and decides to use this as a chance to go through all of L's computer files on him. And maybe accidentally delete a few. Light also copies down a lot of L's files and contacts and servers onto a flashdrive and hides it somewhere he can bribe Ryuk to come pick up later. No cameras in L's room, right? He might as well take advantage.

Light, however, cannot hide the fact that he's not L from Watari, who caught on as soon as he asked L what he'd like for breakfast and the reply was an orange. Watari clocked him immediately as an imposter and Light was forced to 'sheepishly' and 'disbelievingly' admit the truth of his identity. "L never asks for fruit unless I put it in front of him." "I was trying to ask for something sweet that I could actually stomach, Watari-san. Now that you know who I am could you please fix me a traditional breakfast? I feel nauseous."

Watari JUMPS at the chance to finally feed L('s body) properly after all these years of struggle 🙏

Light quickly discovers that L's body is highly sensitive to certain sounds and textures, as well as persistently uncomfortable sitting still in any other position than the one L's normally sits in. Of course Light bares with it and sits normally anyway, because like hell he's caving to L's (body's) whims. Plus Light's sure now that the reason L's body aches so much is that he's constantly twisting it into weird position to appease his own jitteriness and mental discomfort. Light has far more practice with ignoring those things, don't you know 😌

Then Light's own body rolls up to the Task Force building in the ugliest ass sweater, sweatpants, and house slippers, and Light knows immediately who it is. L's even got his head tucked in like a turtle to minimize sound input like Light has trained himself out of dammit, he's giving Light's body a crick in the neck!! And he's touching him, ugh!!! L get your hands out from under that sweater Light will sue!

From there, Light and L have to tell the rest of the Task Force what happened, and Soichiro is subsequently as offended as Light by L feeling up his son's body from inside it, while Matsuda is mentally flailing over how much L acting like a normal person (acting like Light) makes him more attractive 😳🫣 How did they never notice that L is actually good-looking??

L would then try to expose Ryuk's presence, which would make Light very alarmed, but it wouldn't work very well.

"Light-kun did you know your body seems to be haunted by a large, unattractive crow creature?"

"Huh? You must be seeing things, Ryuzaki, I've never seen anything like that. How scary. Are you sure it isn't haunting you?"

And many other shenanigans!! :D

#asks #anonymous #body swap #lawlight #...? im assuming #death note #yagami light #l lawliet #long post

[trollex-is-gay]

Buncha' info about my trolls au bc I wanna infodump abt it

Under the cut bc it got a bit long whoopsie-

Branch and Poppy are not a romantic couple in this. Major apologies to the Broppy fans, but I never felt them. And because I'm making my own au that's supposed to cater to me, I just couldn't force myself to include a ship I didn't enjoy writing about. Instead of being a romantic pair, they instead develop a sibling dynamic post-first movie and they openly consider themselves brother and sister by the time that World Tour happens. Branch has no remaining family and Poppy has always wanted a sibling, so it worked out well for them because they felt closer than friends but didn't feel romantic. Remember that this is not canon, this is my own thing and I'm not trying to attack the ship or the people who ship it, they're simply not romantic in MY au.

The duo do end up with romantic partners though! Some time after Trollstopia was created, Branch hit it off with Synth and found out he actually kind wanted to try dating him, and so far (as of after Band Together happens) they're going pretty steady and show no signs of breaking up. Poppy and Barb were an unexpected couple but are VERY attached to each other now. They've got a few issues to work out but they're getting better at communicating with each other and making their personalities work, so they're doing okay.

If you were to cast a normal average human into this world, they'd be immediately outmatched in height by essentially every troll except the classicals. Your average pop troll would be maybe around 6'1 (with exceptions like Smidge) and they can only get bigger from there. Techno trolls are the species with the ability to grow the largest due to living in a massive ocean with very few restrictions on their size. And yes, this does mean that compared to a human, someone like Bridget or Velvet and Veneer are absolute giants.

Now for some more Band Together related stuff for my au:

Synth and Barb didn't join their partners for the wedding because Barb kinda has a kingdom to run and Synth was one of the trolls left in charge of managing things while Poppy and her father were away, but also partially because they don't really know Bridget and Gristle and didn't think there'd be much point in going.

Branch was VERY affected by his brothers abandoning him, he held a pretty tough grudge against everyone except Floyd. His other brothers all just left without saying goodbye to him or acknowledging him, but Floyd took the time to let him know he cared and that he was only leaving because he couldn't handle everything going on. He was the only one to actually show he still cared before he left. Branch has a lot of trouble reconnecting with all of his brothers except for Floyd, they're on better terms. He IS connecting with all of them, and he still has a bit of frustration with Floyd, but he's just more comfortable with him because he's the only one who actually took him seriously when they were reunited and back before they'd split up. I'm not saying he hates his brothers ofc! But there's still a lot of baggage they all need to work through together. And his brothers also deserve to have a second to mourn their grandmother.

All of the returning trolls are a bit...startled by how the village has changed. Viva ended up growing up away from the pop village and lead her own, so she didn't know much about their history at all, and Branch's brothers have been in various places far away from the village, so safe to say none of them ever learned that there were other kinds of trolls out there. Poppy wants to write a letter to Barb and have her come back as soon as possible so that she can introduce her long lost sister to her new girlfriend. Synth is VERY surprised to hear that Branch has brothers, and excitedly rambles off about how he ALSO has a bunch of siblings to the returning trolls. He clicks especially well with Floyd and Bruce. Branch's brothers are a bit surprised to find out that he has a boyfriend, especially one that's a prince, but they're very happy for him and do their best to make a good impression.

It takes a bit of time for them all to adjust. Viva bunks with Poppy for the time being, and while Branch's brothers did come back to visit, Bruce is the only one who's decided not to stay in the village. He does kind of have a wife and kids after all! But he promises to visit them as often as he can. Send letters and such. The rest of the group are staying with Branch for now, but aren't sure if they want to live in the same house forever.

Viva is given a few days to adjust before they make any big announcements about her. After all, she's still processing a lot. The village is very happy to hear about the fact she's returned, and the trolls that lived with her also came to live in the village. No reason they shouldn't all stick together after all. Before Bruce leaves they have a family dinner together, if Poppy and Branch are brother and sister now, no reason for Branch's brothers and Poppy's sister can't be siblings either. Poppy is very very happy to have such a big family now.

I want to do something with Velvet and Veneer. I know they did some terrible shit and all that but considering how the trolls made peace with the Bergens even though they'd spent the last however long eating and basically torturing the trolls, and Barb kinda tried to convert all other tribes to one genre and caused some mass destruction...idk I feel like the siblings should get another shot under close surveillance or something (code for I love them and I want them in my au but not in a jail cell you feel me?).

#trolls #trollstopia #trolls world tour #trolls band together #trolls au #my au #Wolf's Trolls AU #parb #brynth #I AM VERY NORMAL. #ALSO HI HI IM ALIVE AGAIn. YOU WILL BE SEEING MORE OF ME.

[fortheloveofexy]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

Thanks for the tag @mostlymaudlin ! tagging @jingerhead @paradoxolotl @exy-shmexy @storiesnstardust

Top 5 (by Kudos):

1. Call Me By Your Name (3.9k, andreil)  

Basically, Neil calls Andrew “baby” in his sleep once, so Andrew  gets flustered and then secretly tries out different pet names for Neil.

This one... honestly really surprised me with how popular it got. It’s my most kudos’d fic by a long shot (2,378 kudos??? insanity). It’s a short little thing, entirely focused around andreil and pet names. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this one being the top fic, because it’s one of my oldest fics and I don’t really love the prose now. I don’t really understand why it got so popular out of everything I wrote bc it’s never anyone’s favorite fic when I ask, but I’m glad so many enjoyed it!

2. Sweet Enough To Eat (3.1k, andreil) 

Andrew experiencing cute aggression. That’s basically the whole premise lol.

 Anyway, this one is my oldest fic, so I assume that’s why it’s so popular. It’s cute, sweet even! I still like it to this day. Not much else to say about it though.

3. May We Meet Again (10.7k, andreil)

The first installment of the Artist Neil AU. 

To be honest, I don’t like it anymore. That whole AU has problems with pacing, and some characterization issues too. Plus, looking back at the art now makes me cringe so hard. The only reason it’s still up is bc I know a lot of people really like it. Sometimes I think about revising the whole thing but I still remember how big of an undertaking it was when I first wrote it and made all the art for it, so I probably won’t. 

4. The Marks We Make (41.3k, andreil)

A (mostly) canon rewrite from Andrew’s POV with a soulmate AU twist. 

This the first multichapter fic I ever wrote, and one of the earliest fics I ever published, so I’m not surprised it’s high on the list. There are some things I like about this one, and some I would do differently. Writing this fic helped me make some of my first friends in the fandom though, so it was very much worth it.

5. Yes Or No? (35.5k, andreil)

sub andrew & Dom Neil pwp - need I say more?. 

This one truly surprised me. It was meant to be a one-shot experiment, something I wrote as an exploration of my own boundaries and limits. BDSM fics are often triggering for me, so I generally avoid them, but I wanted to write a BDSM fic that I would be able to enjoy and to explore BDSM from a safe distance.

However, given how much the fandom seemed to be against Andrew submitting (and sometimes even just bottoming) at the time, I worried I might end up getting hate for writing it. To my surprise, I did not, and so many commenters asked that I continue it that I ended up turning it into a whole series. 

I’m quite proud of it still - it might just be a smut fic to most people, but it will always be more than just a smut fic to me. 

I do hate the last 3 paragraphs of the main fic though. I was on a kick where I thought incorporating references to fic titles and canon lines into my writing was clever and fun, but now I just cringe when I look at it. Ahh well, maybe someday I’ll change it and tell nobody. Create a little Berenstein/Berenstain Bears moment :)

Top 5 (Personal Ranking):

1.  More Than Words (32.9k, ongoing, neon friendship)

Neil and Aaron meet as kids and become best friends, long before Aaron learns his mother’s secret - he has a long lost twin brother.

I cannot gush enough about the love I have for this fic, this whole story. I can’t talk about it here because I have some insane twists planned (iykyk) but just know this fic is my baby and this story will be my magnum opus once it’s done. I love writing Neil and Aaron’s friendship, I love writing Aaron’s POV, I love the plans I have these boys. It’s still ongoing so I understand why it’s not higher up in the kudos ranking, but I’m hopeful that will change once I actually finish it.

2. A Quiet Self-Destruction (2.6k, andreil)

A character study on Andrew’s experience with depression, and how Neil helps him through his bad days.

I wrote this to comfort myself during one of my own depression spells. It still brings me a bit of hope on dark days. For that, I will always love it.

3. Scribbles and Sticky Notes (11.7k, andreil)

Neil retires from Exy, with heaps of fluff, soft Andreil, wholesome Twinyards, hurt/comfort, MCD and angst.

Hands down, this is the saddest fic I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of that fact. I think the pacing is really good, and the gut punches are quite successful (while being foreshadowed quite nicely). The characterization is also spot on, I think. It’s got MCD though, which I think is probably why it’s not more popular. 

4. The Past, Stained Red (4.4k, andreil)

Part 3 of the Artist Neil AU. Andrew has a surprise run-in with a ghost from his past, and finally gets some closure.

This is the only fic of the Artist Neil AU that I actually still like. It’s well-paced, well-characterized, and I still like the art. Mostly, though, I viciously loved writing Andrew getting to close the door on Cass, and I loved writing him acknowledging the harm she did to him as a foster parent. He couldn’t see it as a child, but as an adult? He sees her clearly, in all her failure. It was extremely cathartic to write that. 

5. Catdrew Meowyard (1.4k, andreil)

Andrew suddenly has cat ears and a tail. Nobody questions it. Shenanigans ensue.

This is such a silly little fic. I wrote it as a joke and I still love it dearly, even though it’s very dumb. It’s just very fun to write and to read, and it’s perfect for when I want to blow off steam and write some crack.

#aftg #andreil #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg fics #aftg fanfics #andrew minyard #neil josten #fic recs #aftg fanfic #andreil fanfic #andreil fic #aftg fic #fanfic

[thelargefrye]

NO CELESTIAL : FEARNOT … one - shot

pairing : hongjoong x summoner!f!reader x yunho

genre : final fantasy x inspired au, childhood friends to lovers, fantasy, hurt / comfort

word count : 10.1k (my biggest fic yet oof)

warnings : final fantasy x canon violence, language, mentions of death, mentions of god-like creatures (sin), (one) emotional breakdown, minor self-inflicted injury / blood, suggestive content (allusion of sex but NO sex in this!)

note : for @cultofdionysusnet meet me under the cherry tree event!

suffer with me tag : @sanjoongie @songmingisthighs (and special tag goes to @anyamaris and @stardragongalaxy)

it was your job as a summoner to try and cleanse the world; however, while you had a mission to complete, hongjoong and yunho weren’t going to let you do it by yourself.

summoners were seen as sacred people in the world. being the only ones trained in order to expel sin – a great monster who destroys everything it sees – from the world and bring upon what is referred to as the calm.

your brother was the last summoner to expel sin. you remember him leaving you in the care of your grandmother, before he left. all you can remember from that day is his bittersweet smile, tears rolling down his cheeks as he bid you goodbye. had you known he would not have returned from his pilgrimage, you would cried, screamed, and done anything to keep him here with you.

but your brother was not selfish like that. he had become a summoner in order to cleanse and rid the world of sin. the monster had taken your parents from you when you too young to remember, but you know that was always his driving force to become a summoner.

"i'll bring about the calm so you can live peacefully. at least if just for a little while," he told you. "i hope you can forgive your brother for leaving you like this."

"you have to promise you'll come back so we can stay together! you have to come back so you can show me all the places you've been to!" you told him not yet realizing what it meant when a summoner brought calm to the world.

not yet realizing that you would never see your brother again.

and so your brother left. he left with his two friends turned guardians and you never saw him again. the next time you heard about your brother was when you heard he defeated sin and brought about the calm. you felt proud knowing your brother did it, he did what he wanted to achieve. but with his victory also came his death.

you managed to hold it together in front of everyone until you were alone. you had ran away to the luminous forest near your village, the place you had been holding up since your brother left. when you were finally by yourself under the glowing pink cherry tree, that's when you finally collapsed and broke down.

sobs left your lips as tears and snot ran down your face. you felt selfish for crying like this when you knew your brother helped save the world – at least for a little while. but you couldn't help it, your brother was all you had after your parents' death, and now you had no one.

and it was when you had the thought of no one that you felt the force of someone's body colliding with yours. their arms wrapping around you and embracing you in a tight and rather warm hug.

you recognized the person immediately as yunho – if his rather lanky stature for a thirteen year old told you anything. and that's when you remembered you weren't entirely alone because you had yunho and hongjoong by your side.

the ones who had been by your side when you weren't able to fully understand or mourn your parents death. the ones who had been beside you when your brother had left for his pilgrimage. and now... they were the ones beside you, comforting you when the news of your brother's death had finally reached you.

you looked up from your lap with teary eyes to see hongjoong kneeled in front of you. his fiery red hair standing out more than usual against the luminous plants, and that's when you realized how selfish and inconsiderate you were being. hongjoong's brother had joined yours on his pilgrimage as one of his guardians, and along with your brother, his brother also had died against sin.

"hong...joong," you want to tell him a thousand things. how sorry you were, that it felt like your fault he had lost his brother, but you can't find the words. can't find the courage.

"its okay," he says before he's wrapping his arms around you and yunho and you immediately hold the older boy close to you. sobbing into his shirt, not caring in the moment about how wet and snotty it would be.

"please..." hongjoong begins after the three of you sit in silence. you're not sure how much time had past when he says something. "please remember that you'll never be alone. me and yunho... we're here for you, y/n. you'll never be alone."

"yeah!" yunho's voice is uplifting, and something you desperately need hear. "you'll always have us because we're best friends and best friends stick together!" you can't see his face, but you know yunho is smiling.

yeah, best friends.

your life soon returned to semi-normal. you had to get use to not seeing your brother, his presence growing fainter and fainter with each passing day. but you were thankful for hongjoong and yunho to fill the void that was now missing in your heart.

you missed your brother dearly, and you knew that even if you got use to him being gone, you would always miss him. but you knew his sacrifice wasn't in vain as the world was able to have peace.

until that peace was quickly destroyed when sin rose a year after you're brother's death and sacrifice. the monster destroying several villages and even one of the more prominent cities in halazia. when the news spread of sin's return you felt your whole being want to scream out in terror and anguish. your brother's sacrifice only held the damn monster back for a year?

"y/n, are you okay?" yunho has asked you one night as the two of you sat under the cherry tree. its glowing pink petals giving your best friend a rather lovely look. the pink of the leaves bouncing off nicely against his peach colored hair. you had to scold yourself for admiring your best friend like that.

"i'm fine... i just– i just wish his death didn't feel so pointless," you confess as you pulled your knees to chest and rested your head against them.

"i'm sorry... i wish there was something i could to help you," he tells you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and gives you a comforting squeeze.

"i do too," you whisper as you look out at the forest life around you. you were afraid that now that sin was back, your brother's memory and sacrifice would be forgotten. you didn't want that to happen. you couldn't let that happen.

and that's when it hit you.

"yunho," you begin turning to him and earning his full attention, "i'm going to become a summoner and–

"no," he cuts you off and you've never seen him this serious before. "i'm not letting you throw your life away."

"someone has to expel sin from this world. someone has to do it so no one else ever has to die because of that monster," you tell him. you don't know where this decision came from. if it came from anger or sadness, but you knew something had to be done. that you had to end the cycle of summoners continuously sacrificing themselves in order to stop sin from rampaging across the world and killing anymore people.

"no, i... i can't let you do this y/n! me and hongjoong won't let you!"

"its not yours or hongjoong's decision to make! i need to know that i'm not going to lose anymore people to that monster," you say feeling tears begin to form. "i don't know what i would do if i lost you or hongjoong..." you whisper more to yourself than to him.

"there's nothing i can do to stop you?" he ask and you can hear the sadness in his voice.

"no, i've made up my mind. i'm going to train to become a summoner and expel sin from halazia, forever."

you knew that in order to protect hongjoong and yunho, your closest friends, you had to become a summoner and go on the pilgrimage like your brother did. you knew the two males were against it. telling you not to sacrifice yourself to protect them – that they weren't worth you doing such a dangerous journey for.

you were upset at them. mainly hongjoong because between him and yunho, the older male just as outspoken and stubborn and fiery as his hair color. the two of you often butting heads and hongjoong attempted many times to talk you out of becoming a summoner.

"don't be so stupid! don't risk your life for this! no summoner has been able to expel sin permanently!" he shouted at you when you told him of your plan. "yunho! say something, tell her this is pointless!"

"i've tried hongjoong, i've tried, but she's just as stubborn as you are," yunho says, a frown painting his lips as he watches his two best friends argue.

"why won't you just let me do this?" you say, feeling frustrated with your best friend.

"because i can't lose you too! i can't lose you like i lost my brother! don't you see how selfish you're being! you want to protect us, but what about after you're gone! how are me and yunho suppose to carry on knowing our best friend is fucking dead!" he screams, tears running down his face, shocking you and yunho.

from all the years you've known hongjoong, you have never seen him cry. not even when his brother died along with yours. hongjoong always kept a strong facade around you and yunho, something you had always wished you would lower.

well now he has and you don't think you like it very much. especially when you're the reason for his tears. you feel guilty for causing him such distress and anguish, all you want to do it protect him, protect yunho.

you have to fight back your own tears, you don't feel like you deserve to cry especially in front of hongjoong. especially not after he's revealed such a vulnerable piece of himself to you and yunho.

"hongjoong, i'm–

"don't. i don't want you to apologize. i understand why you want to do this. but i just... i just can't support this," he confesses as he looks at you with his teary eyes. "go, become a summoner and go on the pilgrimage, but i won't be there to watch you sacrifice yourself. not for me at least," he adds and you feel your heart shatter.

"what are you saying hongjoong?" you ask feeling like you already know what he's going to say.

"i'm saying... that if you become a summoner then i can't be in your life. can't be your friend. i already lost a brother to sin, and to lose you... i just– fuck, i just can't imagine it," he says, head tilting back to try and stop the tears. you try to fight back your own tears.

"hongjoong... i'm... i'm so sorry," is all you can say. you love hongjoong, he's one of the most important people in your life aside from yunho. you want to live the rest of your life with the two, travel together, experience life together, grow old together, but you can't have those thoughts with sin out there. but if they – hongjoong and yunho – have a chance to do all those things without worry, and without you, then so be it.

"i'm so sorry, hongjoong," you say again, finally letting the tears fall knowing that you're about to lose him. "but i... i already sent a letter to the temple requesting that i come and train. i'm suppose to leave next week," you say and the looks both your best friends give you rips your heart a part.

"what?" yunho's voice is shaky, but you don't have the heart to look at him knowing that he's probably on the verge of crying. "you're leaving? for how long?"

"a few years at least," you tell him softly, finally letting your eyes drift between him and hongjoong.

you watch as hongjoong turns away from you, back facing you before he heads towards the door. yunho calls out his name softly, surprised by his friend's action. but before hongjoong opens your bedroom door and leaves, he turns to look at you with a heartbroken face.

"then i guess this is goodbye," he says before opening the door and leaving. you and yunho are left in shock as you realize you really did just lose your best friend, one of your everything's. gone.

yunho tries to comfort you, but you ask him to leave. he tries to argue, but eventually gives in to your wish of being alone. he gives you a hug, a reassuring hug that always brought you comfort before he's bidding you a goodbye and leaving.

the week goes by and you slowly begin to prepare yourself for leaving. for leaving yunho and... hongjoong behind. hongjoong. you can't help but feel your heart clench at the thought of the red haired male. he's been avoiding you since you told him and yunho about you leaving, keeping his word to not wanting to be in your life as you train to become a summoner. it hurts. it hurts so much, but you try your best to not think about it.

you've noticed that yunho has slowly started to hang around you less in less as your departure days draws near. you don't blame him, you'll be leaving for who knows how long, who knows what will happen in the next few years.

watching the two people you care about, and basically love, slowly drift away from you hurts. you can't help but think if you're being selfish with wanting to do this. with wanting to become a summoner to stop sin. to give them the peaceful life they deserve.

then the day of your departure arrives and you find yourself looking over your village, hoping to see either that familiar peach or red hair come bonding towards you. to give you one final hug and maybe allow you to tell them those deep thoughts about how you feel. but alas nothing, they do not come and the people from the temple ask for you to border the ship that will take you to the temple.

it hurts that neither one of them sees you off. you can't help but wonder if they are sitting at your usually meeting place, the familiar and luminous pink cherry tree in the forest, hiding away from your eyes. hoping that when they leave the forest, you will be far gone.

your grandmother shoots you a sad smile as she places a hand on your shoulder. you meet her sad expression and you can't help but feel heartbroken because of the two. they have a right to be upset, but did that really mean to forget you completely?

and so you board the boat, knowing you'll never get to properly say goodbye to hongjoong and yunho. the fear of not knowing if you'll ever see them again rises high within you, but you push it down. and then the boat leaves the dock and starts to sail out and away from your hometown.

training at the temple wasn't easy. having to control your maso, magic, was a challenge itself, and to control it and have enough to summon aeons felt impossible. but eventually you got it. you thought about the sacrifice your brother made, how sin took away your parents, and then your mind would drift to hongjoong and yunho.

you still wanted to protect hongjoong and yunho despite them separating their bonds from you. you still cared deeply for them. you still lo–

no. you think that. they were your best friends, all you had in the world, so of course you cared about them. but to love them? did you even fully understand that emotion? you wanted to understand the emotion, to say with your whole chest that yes, you do in fact love your best friends.

but you couldn't. you gave up that chance when you chose to become a summoner. they would never forgive you, never return those feelings.

especially after seven years of not seeing them. you had left your home village when you were fourteen, and since then you had been training day and night to become the best summoner you could be. but you did it, you learned how to control your maso, learned how to summon the aeons, and even learned the sending ritual that sends the spirits to the afterlife. you learned it all and made sure it was perfect.

you were praised by the people of the temple and other summoners. praised again and again for your abilities and how natural it all seemed to come for you. told you that your brother would be proud of you.

you wanted to be happy to know how far you have come in seven years, that all the training paid off, but can you really be happy with yourself if you know that hongjoong and yunho never would be.

you try to not think about them. try so hard to erase them from your memory, but you can't. this is all for them, despite how selfish it is of you to continue with this or how selfish it is of them to leave you. but you can't forget them. you love them after all, despite how silly it may seem. you truly do love them.

that's why you secretly dread returning back to your home village after seven years. you can’t help but wonder how much of the place you use to call home has changed. if anything has changed that is. but most importantly, has hongjoong and yunho changed?

of course they probably have, it’s been seven years. you wonder if they’re still friends or did they drift apart over the years. you hope not.

when you returned back to your village, everyone greeted you like you were some celebrity. welcoming you back with bright smiles and warm faces, it was odd. odd in the sense that you were only use to their pity-filled eyes and sorrowful faces after your brother died. but this was different, you weren't going to complain necessarily, but it was still odd.

"are you going on the pilgrimage, lady y/n?" you were asked by one of the villagers.

"no, i'm not. i finished my training and was allowed to come back home until i'm needed by the temple," it couldn't help the odd feeling of calling this place home again. for seven years the temple had been what you called home, and so to not call it such was just... weird.

"lady y/n, thank you for your sacrifice," another villager told you as they bowed, but you quickly stopped them. you had nothing to deserve their praise.

"please, you do not have to bow. i have done nothing to earn it," you told them, but it was actually yunho's mother who spoke up.

"my dear lady y/n, you're a summoner now and summoners earn the respect whether they go on the pilgrimage or not," she tells you and your heart twist at her words.

you want to ask her how yunho is, but you bite your tongue and instead only nod at her words. did you really have the right to ask her about her son?

soon everyone went about their day, leaving you by yourself and you were thankful they all eventually left you alone. many villagers greeted you as you passed by, making your way back to your grandmother's house.

your grandmother looked at you with a proud look before she embraced you, pulling you into her arms and hugging you. it had been awhile since you were hugged like this.

"welcome home, y/n," she tells you and it felt nice to just be called by your name.

hongjoong had changed a lot in the seven years you had been gone. as expected he would, but you're shocked to see just how handsome he got. his bright red hair grown out in a mullet-style, and his eyes looking sharper than when he was fifteen. he has an air of authority around him and you have to stop yourself from calling out to him.

you notice the sword hanging off his back and you're surprised to recognize it as his brother's sword. hongjoong never gave off the warrior vibe, that was always yunho surprisingly. it seems like you weren't the only one to follow in their sibling's footsteps.

his eyes flicker over and meet yours and you felt your heart both speed up and clench in pain when you met his eyes. it sped up because you finally seeing him after so long, proving your feelings never died like you wanted them too. it clenched in pain; however, due to the coldness and emotionless void his eyes held. like you were a stranger to him, and nothing more. like you hadn't spent most of your childhood together. it hurt. it hurt a lot.

"lady y/n, welcome back," he says greeting you, but you wish he hadn't. his voice had gotten a little deeper, but it was cold like his eyes. you were a stranger to him, he really cut you off like you meant nothing to him. you couldn't help but notice how he didn't say home, just welcome back.

was this not your home to? was he not your home when you were fourteen? when you were thirteen and him and yunho were all you had to call home.

"thank you," you say trying to hide the hurt in your voice, but ultimately failing. you're quick to turn away from him and make your way back to your grandmother's house.

didn't want to accept that you and hongjoong were now complete strangers, but unfortunately that's what he did a long time ago.

seeing yunho hurt just as much as when you seen hongjoong. the taller male had come bearing a gift to you and your grandmother – from his mother he tells you.

"oh, um, thank you, yunho," his name felt odd yet familiar rolling off your lips as you take the basket from him.

he's even more handsome than you remember, his peach colored hair still framing his face lovingly and giving him this soft look to him despite his tall stature wanting to do otherwise. his voice had deepened more than hongjoong's and you had to stop yourself from letting your knees get weak.

but seeing how much he's changed wasn't what hurt the most. it was young woman that tagged along with him, basically hanging off of him looking lovestruck. you recognized her as one of the girls you all grew up with, but her name was unfortunately drawing a blank.

"of course, lady y/n," he says and hearing the title pains just as much as when hongjoong spoke it. "and... welcome back to the village," he adds and while it was less cold and distant that hongjoong's greeting, it still felt like he was thousands of years a part from you.

again, your heart clenched at knowing they seen you as nothing but a stranger. just a summoner who shared the same village as them. you guess maybe this would make them accept you being gone much easier if you were to go on the pilgrimage, but right now it sucked. you hated it and wanted to scream at yunho for closing himself off to you. at hongjoong for being such a jerk and leaving you alone.

yunho and the girl bid you farewell before they turn and leave. you notice how they hold hands as they walk away and you felt like breaking down and sobbing right then and there.

this fucking sucks, you think as you close the door and set the basket on the dining table. before you go to your room and lock yourself away from the rest of the evening. thoughts about what would have happened if you just stayed here and didn't become a summoner.

would you still be close to yunho and hongjoong? probably. would yunho be the one holding your hand instead of that girl? would hongjoong look at you with emotions rather than as nothing? probably.

but you would never know because you chose to become a summoner, and you can't regret it. not when you have the opportunity to eventually defeat sin and bring peace. maybe it was for the best that hongjoong and yunho were like strangers to you now. didn't want to accept it, your heart still yearning for them, but you knew that eventually it would be okay.

it was in fact, not going to be okay.

you realized that you couldn't get over not being able to see or talk to hongjoong and yunho like you use to. deep inside you, your heart just couldn't except the fact that they just weren't in your life anymore. it didn't help that every attempt you made to talk to them ended in failure. hongjoong would simply give you the cold shoulder and walk away while yunho would just give you a curt "i'm good, lady y/n," before scurrying off in the opposite direction.

it also doesn't help that you've overheard the girl you've seen with yunho talk about a potential engagement. yunho... engaged? the thought didn't sit well and you felt like you could throw up if you continue to think about it.

you couldn't take being in the village anymore with how high your emotions were raging and found yourself rushing into the forest close to the village. the darkness it brought felt a sort of comfort you hadn't experienced in a while. the luminous plants bring back happy memories. happy memories that soon bring in a dark cloud as you remember that they will be just that, a memory.

you won't ever get to share hushed secrets and comforting hugs with yunho or teasing remarks and longing looks with hongjoong anymore. fuck, why are you still hung up so much on the past when it obvious they have moved on.

moved on from you and the memories you shared.

it was underneath the luminous cherry tree where you fell to your knees and finally let out the heart-wrenching sob you had been holding in for four months now. tears streamed down your face, blurring your vision as you sat on the forest ground and just cried. you felt angry at yourself for getting so worked up over all of this. angry and childish.

you punched the ground out of anger at yourself and this whole thing. you were the only one suffering in this emotional turmoil, you felt like. hongjoong and yunho... they seemed find. content with their life without you, so why couldn't you do the same.

it was always that same damn question, over and over again.

you couldn't help punch the ground again as you thought about how childish you were being. you chose to do this to yourself, you chose to leave them and become a summoner. stop being so childish and accept the consequences of your actions.

you punched the ground a few more times, ignoring the odd sensation coming from your knuckles as you pressed your head to the ground. tears still came pouring out along with snot running down your nose. every time you opened your mouth, only sob escaped you and you felt spit running out of your mouth a little bit. your whole body shook as you started to hyperventilate.

you fisted your hand so tightly you felt your nails digging into the flesh of your palm, but you ignored it. continuing to cry, you ignored all the sounds of life around you. you honestly could care less if a random monster appeared now.

that's when you suddenly felt yourself being jerked up from the ground. everything was moving so fast that you couldn't comprehend what was even happening until you felt two hands cupping your face and making you look at the figure in front of you.

even through your blurry tears you could make out the familiar head of peach hair, his whole presence giving off the same comfort feeling it did all those years ago. it honestly made you want to sob even harder. you hate how familiar and comforting yunho is. how despite the years apart, your whole being still seeks him out like when you were teenagers.

"oh, y/n... what have you done," he says, voice concerning as he takes your hand into his. when you look down, that's when you notice how bloody your knuckles are.

"why..." is all you can say as you attempt to wipe your tears away before more come out, you watch yunho as he does his best in wrapping your hand up. why are you here? is what you really want to ask. you want to push him away and yell at him, to tell him to stay away, but you couldn't find the strength.

"i seen you running into the forest, and i remember that you only did that when you were upset. so i... came after you," he says.

you can't help but furrow your eyebrows at his words. he... came after you?

"but... i-i don't... why? why are you here?" you're at a lose for words by him and you can't help but feel angry and upset. you rip your hand away from his and you notice his shocked expression before it turns in a sad one. what gave him the right to come after you after four months of avoiding you. "after so long... i've been back for four months, four months of trying to talk to you only for you to blow me off! why now when i'm sitting here crying! because of you!" you say pushing at him to get him to move away from you, but yunho doesn't budge.

instead he just lets you push at him and weakly smack his chest. he allows you vent all your emotions out on him as you continue to smack him and even cuss at him.

"i hate you so much, why did you leave me?" you sobbed, understanding how much of a hypocrite you are by saying that. when you were finally done, no more energy left to give that's when yunho pulled you into his arms.

they wrapped around you and welcomed you in the embrace you have been waiting for again for seven years. and just when you think you ran out of tears to, they just appear right again. you felt like you were thirteen again when yunho comforted you after your brother died. he hand a comforting hand over your head as he hugged you.

"i'm... i'm so sorry, y/n," he whispers once your tears finally stop. you can't help but notice the cherry blossom petals slowing falling around you both as he speaks. "i just so upset at knowing you were suddenly leaving. i regret never being there when you left, and i regret never greeting you when you came back. i was... i was just scared at knowing that i would eventually lose you and i couldn't handle it. i was scared to let you back into my life knowing that you would just leave again," you feel your heart clenched tightly at his confession.

"yunho..." you say but you had no idea what you were actually going to say. you think that maybe you just wanted to feel his name roll off you tongue after so long.

you pull yourself away from yunho in order to look at him and you're surprised by the teary expression his has on his face. he gives you a watery smile and when the tears fall, you can't help but to wipe them away.

"i don't want to lose you again," he tells you as you cup his face and you see his hands hesitate before he's doing the same. "i don't think my heart could handle losing you again," he says before he's resting his forehead against yours.

"you'll... you'll never lose me, yunho," you tell him, you want to so badly to tell him how you feel. how you've always felt, but you're scared. scared to confess how much you truly love him.

"i'm glad you came back. i waited day by day for news of your return. i had wondered how you had changed and so when you finally came back... y/n, i was so shocked by how beautiful you got," he tells you with a soft laugh.

"i wondered the same thing. when i could see you and– when i could see you again," you say correcting yourself, but yunho catches it.

"hongjoong... hongjoong i think misses you a lot. he doesn't want to admit how much he loves you because he's worried about losing you, but... just know that deep down he's glad you're back," he tells you and you let out a soft hum at his words.

"i think i owe the both of you an apology. i really di–

yunho doesn't let you finish before he's kissing you. his lips smashing against your and it catches you off guard for a second before you're kissing him back. your arms wrapping around his neck as you both attempt to hold each other closer.

you can't help but find comfort in the fact that your first kiss is with one of the people you love the most in the world and in your favorite spot. the cherry tree's pink lights giving off that romantic feeling you didn't want to admit you had been yearning and missing, but it really was something you needed. you're breathless when you pull away from yunho's lips and you have to suppress the smile that threatens to appear when he's attempting to chase your lips to kiss you again.

but then something hits it, hard.

"wait, what about that girl that was with you when you dropped off that basket from your mother?"

"hmm? oh, you mean eunha? what about her?"

"aren't you dating her or about to be engaged?"

"well, you see... i- i broke it off with her before i came to find you. i only dated her to make my mom happy, but we talked a few days ago. she told me to stop being stupid and not to date or marry to make her happy, but to do it to make me happy."

"so... you didn't like that eunha?"

"no. i couldn't, not when i love you and hongjoong too much."

you felt your heart skip a beat at his words. he likes you? but not just like, he loves you.

"yunho," you call out his name earning his attention and you immediately bring him back down to your lips. his crashing against yours as you run your hand through his hair. when you pull away you can't help the words that escape your lips, "i love you too."

the thing you probably hated the most about being a summoner had to be performing the sending ritual. sure to any witnesses the ritual was this beautiful thing that helped the deceased pass on, but to summoners... it was a taxing thing that really didn't help them feel better.

"lady y/n, one of the nearby villages is requesting that you come and help them," your village leader said, "sin attacked the village and left the place a ruin... if could go and help them–

"it would be an honor," you tell him, cutting him off. you knew what he was going to say, people in the village had lost both their homes and loved ones. summoners were seen as a sign of hope for those that survived a rampage against sin.

"thank you," the older man says, "i'll make sure you have an escort to guide you since you do not have any guardians to accompany you," he tells you and you thank him before leaving to prepare for your journey.

you can't help but frown at the mention of not having a guardian. guardians were often seen as protectors of summoners, warriors to put it simply. they were often usually close to the summoner, someone the summoner could trust with their life as they journey around the world or when they finally took on the pilgrimage. you think it was rather obvious why you didn't any guardians.

according to your village leader, it would take a day to journey to the next village. you're glad it won't take the longer. the sooner you can help that village the better it could help settle some of them down to a somewhat peaceful mind.

"lady y/n," you're shocked at the sound of the familiar voice, turning around you are met with the familiar cold eyes of hongjoong as he stands before you. "i was asked to accompany you to the next village. yunho will also be joining us," he tells you and you feel a sense of dread rush over you knowing that hongjoong will be traveling with you.

fuck, this is most he's spoken to you in seven months since you're return to the village.

"alright, i'll pack my things quickly and meet you both at the gate," you tell him and he nods before turning and walking away from you. you licked your lips nervously before turning on your heels and making your way back to your grandmother's house to pack.

"be careful, dear," your grandmother tells you and you give her a grateful smile before you're bidding her goodbye as you make your way to the village gate.

hongjoong and yunho are already there waiting for you and you see the two talking in rather hushed voices. you're glad to know that after all this time, hongjoong and yunho remained close to each other.

yunho notices you first and greets you with a smile while hongjoong simply gives you a once over. you try to ignore the awful feeling in your chest, as this journey wasn't about you. it was about helping the neighboring village.

"shall we be off then, lady y/n," yunho says and you nod before the three of you make your way into the forest.

the journey was as eventful as one would expect with the occasional run-in with a few monsters. the three of you easily taking them down and before you knew it, the sun had set and the moon was slowly taking its place.

"let's stop and set up camp here," hongjoong says and you and yunho agree without hesitation, tired from the day's journey. setting up camp was done without a sweat and before you know it, the three of you are sitting around a camp fire.

you could basically taste the tension that was between the three of you. sure your relationship with yunho was going smoothly, him often visiting you after his guard duties, but your relationship with hongjoong is literally nonexistent. he's still been shooting down all you attempts to talk to him, giving you the harshest cold shoulder ever.

you had to hand it to yunho though, he was trying his best to ease said tension, but it was obvious hongjoong didn't want to talk to you.

"yunho, just stop," hongjoong says finally. you notice the rather deep blush that overtakes yunho's face, neck, and ears and you can't help but admire how cute he looks despite how he was obviously embarrassed. "i'm only doing this because i was asked to. not because i want to sit here and share cute little stories with her. we aren't teenagers anymore, and i don't want anything to do with her," he talks as if you aren't there, and it hurts.

is that really how he sees you? as some memory from when he was younger that he didn't want anything to do with? was there no chance at building a relationship back?

"hongjoong, you're being to harsh on y/n," yunho says, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at his childhood friend.

"how am i being too harsh, yunho? i'm not the one who left us to become a summoner?" hongjoong says back, eyes hard and you can see the fire behind them as he talks. "i'm not the one that's going to sacrifice themselves for a pointless cause," he says and you can feel your heart clench at how hurt you are.

yes, you decided to leave them, but it for them. yes, it was probably a selfish thing to do without considering their feelings, but to say things like this to you. hongjoong was only doing this to hurt you. you couldn't stand to be around him any longer, you felt the tears once again threatening to spill and you had to get away.

hongjoong let out a humorless laugh as he watches you get up and walk away from him and yunho, "of course! run away like you always do, not caring about the mess you left behind!" he spits out, but you continue into your tent just as the tears fell.

you stayed the rest of the night in your tent, curled up and refusing to cry over hongjoong. at some point throughout the night, yunho comes in and lays down next to you. you appreciate how he hold you close to him and even more that he doesn't say anything to you. the both of you just lay in silence, yunho rubbing comforting circles on your skin and lulling you to sleep.

the neighboring village was in a lot more ruin than you could have guessed. you felt your heart clench and body shake as you took in the destroyed village around you. the houses destroyed and many of the villagers crying out in mourning over their lost ones.

the village leader approaches you with a mournful look, "oh! thank you summoner and her guardians for coming," he says and bows to you. you feel your stomach twist at how the leader calls yunho and hongjoong your guardians and you're about to correct him when yunho speaks up instead.

"of course, we're here to help as much as we can," he says as both him and hongjoong greet the leader. the leader thanks you three again before he's giving tasks to help the villagers to hongjoong and yunho before he's leading you to where their dead as been set and ready to be sent to the afterlife.

"we'll have the ritual ready to perform soon. please take your time as you talk to people, they could really use some help, lady y/n," he says before leaving you by yourself. you grip your staff tightly as you look at the number of how many people fell at the hands of sin. it twists your stomach once more and it makes you want to throw up.

however, you push the lump in your throat down and take a deep breath before your bowing to the deceased and making your way around the village to talk to the people left of it. they thank you for coming and for sending off their lost loved ones. it makes you feel better about becoming a summoner as you can help everyone here hopeful find peace. because at the end of the day, that's all you want from being a summoner. peace.

the sending ritual took place at sunset, the bodies of the deceased submerged under the water and the people of the village watching from the beach. tears in their eyes as some of them tried not to break out in sobs and mournful cries. you took a deep breath before you took a few hesitant steps onto the water.

your swung your staff from side to side, twisting the staff in your hands the further you walked out into the walk. you had done this plenty of times before when you were training, going through the motions of performing the ritual. however, this is the first time yunho and hongjoong will watch the ritual and you felt nervous for some reason.

you want to show them that you are a good summoner, that you spent the last seven years training for this.

hongjoong felt like he was in a trance as he watched you perform the sending ritual. the fires lit around him, yunho, and the grieving villagers turned from the usually orange-yellow tint to a sudden blue-purple tint and grew just slightly. he watched as you waved your staff from side to side over the deceased that were below you in the water.

then he watched as the water rose you and sprouted up like some fountain. you continued performing the ritual, like the water suddenly rising you up and coming to life didn't phase you.

him and yunho both watched as the pyreflies, the spiritual life force of people, began to leave the bodies and floated up around you and into the sky. hongjoong felt a cold chill run over his body as he watched the scene before him. he had heard of the sending ritual before, everyone in halazia was familiar with it, but to witness it. to witness a summoner perform it, wasn't something he ever thought he would see it.

he couldn't deny how otherworldly you looked while performing the ritual. he couldn't deny how beautiful you had become over the last seven years, he felt his stomach twist as he watched you perform your summoner duties and realizing that you would eventually leave him eventually to perform your summoner duties. he was afraid to get close to you again, to let you in again, only to lose you forever.

so he kept you away and at a distance. he knew that yunho frowned upon his actions and attitude towards you.

"she looks so beautiful," yunho says, still in awe as he watches you.

"yeah... she really does," hongjoong says and that seems to snap yunho out of his trance of you.

"you know... you should try to talk to her," yunho says and hongjoong knows he's right. yunho is always right when it comes to these types of things. "she... she loves you as well, always has."

when the ritual was over, both males watched as you were lowered back to the ground by the water. the pyreflies having ascended into the sky moments before the ritual was over.

yunho notices how you seem to be lacking some energy, but before he could approach you, hongjoong beats him to you and rushes to you and catches you in his arms. you let out a groan as you lean onto hongjoong who wraps you in his arms.

"hong...joong?" you're surprised that its hongjoong who catches you and holds you against his body.

"you did so well, y/n, no tears next time okay?" he says brushing away the tears you didn't realize had escaped. the sending ritual always was emotional for you, you had even thought you were successful in not crying this time.

hongjoong helps you over towards yunho who smiles down at you. when you regain your energy, you're able to stand by yourself and you move away from hongjoong. hongjoong can't help but feel a frown painting his lips, but he knows why you've slightly distanced yourself from him.

"i think its about time we all talk," yunho says as he smiles at the two of you, he runs a hand over both yours and hongjoong's head before bringing the both of you into a hug.

the following night, the three of you sat around another fire similar to the night before, and you and your two childhood best friends talked.

"i became a summoner because i was angry that my brother's sacrifice wasn't enough. he had become a summoner to defeat sin because the monster took our parents, but he also wanted to make sure i lived a peaceful life. i wanted to make sure his wish was fulfilled. you both... you're the most important people in my life. my home. i wanted to give you a peaceful life without sin. i want to defeat him once and for all," you tell them as both hongjoong and yunho sat on either sides of you.

"y/n... do you know how about impossible that sounds?" hongjoong asks and he's right. it sounds absolutely crazy and impossible, but its been something you've been training for, for the last seven years now.

"but its something i need to do," you tell him, "i want to make sure everyone can live a peaceful life and no more summoners have to die. i don't want to die, but i want to defeat sin," you tell them.

yunho couldn't help but let out a laugh, "you want to kill sin?"

you nod and hongjoong looks at you like you have grown two heads. you can tell he wants to protest, but stops himself. instead he takes your hand into his and gives you a comforting squeeze. the sudden closeness of hongjoong feels nice. it feels nice to finally be close to him again, but you couldn't ignore the somewhat awkward tension between the two of you.

you know it'll take a little bit before the awkwardness goes away, but that's how it was with yunho. you had seven years and seven months to catch up on.

everything seemed to be going well until you received a letter from the temple. the letter tells you about how the summoner who had decided to go on the pilgrimage to cleanse the world and put sin to sleep had quit halfway through his journey.

the news shocks you, you've never heard about a summoner quitting their pilgrimage before. you can't help but wonder what had happened. maybe he got cold feet and suddenly didn't have the courage to sacrifice himself. maybe he wasn't as prepared as he thought he was.

it was easy to think of reason after reason, but you concluded that maybe it was best if you didn't know.

continuing the letter, you're shocked when the temple asks for you to take on the pilgrimage instead. the heads of the temple sending you praise once more through the letter and saying that they had no doubts that you would succeed in the pilgrimage and bringing about the calm.

this is what you had spent seven years of your life training for. this was what you had dedicated your teenage and first years of adulthood to. to finally go on the pilgrimage and stop sin once and for all, to give hongjoong and yunho the peacefully life they deserved.

but how would they react? you had just gotten them back and you know it took a lot to earn hongjoong's trust back. it took a lot just to finally tell them both how you feel. how the love you had for them at age fourteen didn't just go away, but instead grew more and more. you knew that without you they would be fine. you finally had the chance to give them the life they deserved.

on the other hand, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted to deny the chance of the pilgrimage if it meant being able to stay with hongjoong and yunho just a little longer. but could actually risk the lives of thousands – millions – for a little bit of happiness?

you let out a sigh as you folded the letter back up as looked out at the sea before you, the sun was setting and hongjoong and yunho would be over soon. you knew you had to make a decision soon.

stay with your two lovers or go on the pilgrimage.

"what?" hongjoong is surprised by what you told him and yunho about the letter.

"the previous summoner that was going on his pilgrimage quit and so the temple asked if i wanted to go on it instead," you restate what you told him. the three of you had met in the forest near your village underneath the cherry tree.

"so are you going?" yunho asks after the three of you sit in a few moments of silence.

"i... i don't know," you confess, truly unsure if you want to go on the journey. "i mean, this is what i spent the last seven, eight years preparing for," you add as you look down at you hands which rested in your lap. "i just got the both of you back in my life, and i can't imagine losing you both again like i did. i know you don't want me to leave," you say looking at hongjoong, "but a part of me is telling me to go."

"then go, baby," yunho says as he takes one of your hands into his. "you want to kill sin, and bring peace to halazia. do it, go on the pilgrimage, defeat sin once and for all and then come back to us," he adds, as he gives you warm smile.

your eyes filter over to hongjoong, waiting for him to say something, but instead he remains silent as he lays against the ground, looking up at the luminous cherry tree and the petals that floated down and around the three of you.

"hongjoong..." you call out to your lover softly, in an attempt to get his attention.

"this is what you want. to fulfill your brother's wish and i can't stop you, no matter how much i want to object and fight to keep you. it was just be a pointless and heartbreaking fight," he says as he looks at you and then sits up.

he moves until you and him are centimeters apart, noses touching and you feel a little flushed by the sudden closeness, "you have to promise to come back to me and yunho. you hear?" he says and you nod your head and he cracks a smile before he's pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"hey let's get married," yunho suggests and you and hongjoong turn to look at him with wide eyes. he can't help the blush that covers his cheeks when he realizes the two of you are looking at him. "well... maybe not literally, but let's at least promise to always love and look after each other no matter how far apart we are from each other," he adds.

"and when you get back from defeating sin, we'll make it official," hongjoong adds with a hum.

"oh geez, you two," you say feeling a heat rise to your face as you try to fan your face to cool yourself off.

yunho can only laugh as he pulls you to rest between his legs and you find comfort in feeling trapped between him and hongjoong, who moves to sit in front of you and also between yunho's rather long legs.

"y/n," hongjoong begins taking your hands into his and you feel yunho's hands also come to rest over them, "will you spend the rest of you life with me and yunho?"

you let out a small laugh as you nod, feeling the tears start to well up in your eyes as you look at your childhood friend who has a similar expression on his face. he smiles at you before he's kissing you.

"i love you both," you say when hongjoong pulls away from you.

"good because you're stuck with us," yunho says before he's reaching down to kiss you as next.

the next thing you know, you are entangled with your two lovers as you three kiss each other. hands moving and pulling at clothes as you are rested on the ground and you admire the glowing, beautiful cherry tree as you and two lovers all become one.

and then when it was all over, the three of you were laying there underneath the tree and basking into each other's warmth and presence, knowing that you will be leaving them in a just a few days.

you feel a sense of deja vu rush over you as stand on the familiar dock looking over the your home village. seeing it right here in the same spot you stood in eight years ago now, helps you realize that nothing about the small village had changed. you can't help but smile at this realizing fact and you're glad some things will never change.

however, while you're about to set off on your pilgrimage, you had hoped that some things would change from when you were fourteen. mainly being that hongjoong and yunho would be here to see you off. you don't expect them to go with you, it would be too selfish to ask, but you would hope to see them one last time.

one last time before you–

no, you can't think that why yet. not when your journey has just barely begun.

"are you ready lady y/n?" the boat work asks you and you're about to answer him when a sudden yell sounds throughout the area.

"hey!! wait for us!!" you whip around at the familiar voice and see an even more familiar shade of peach and red running towards you. you feel your heart about to jump out of your chest at the sight of your two lovers, and you have to stop yourself from breaking down into tears of happiness.

"what are you guys doing?" you ask and you can't help but hope for a specific answer.

"well, we've decided to come with on your pilgrimage. we–

"we decided that we aren't going to let you do it alone," yunho cuts off hongjoong making the short of the two males huff in annoyance at his lover.

"b-but i can't ask that of you guys, its too dangerous!" you say because as much as you want them to come with you, you can't risk putting them in danger.

"exactly," hongjoong says looking at you with soft eyes, "that's exactly why we need to come with you. y/n, you don't have any guardians, how do you expect to protect yourself from all the different monsters?"

you can't help but feel rather embarrassed at realizing you don't have an exact answer for him. mainly because you don't have one.

"exactly," he says, reaching his hand out to take yours, "that's why me and yunho need to come. to protect you. i made a mistake eight years ago by shutting you out, afraid of losing you like i did my brother, but i know now that it was wrong of me. if i'm going to lose you then... then i'm going to be with you until the very end," hongjoong says and you can't help but tear up at his words.

"hongjoong's right," yunho says, gently taking your other hand into his, "we'll both protect you and be with you until the very end. the three of us forever and ever."

you don't stop the tears that run down your face as you pull your two lovers into you and embrace them. they immediately wrap their arms around you and each other.

"forever and ever."

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[winchestersickness]

Sorry anon I somehow deleted your ask 😔 but here's the rec! I went through my ao3 history and picked these, I hope there's something you haven't read yet and that you will enjoy :))

Gift Horse, Mouth, etc.

Sam gets accidentally stuck with a curse that can only be lifted by acting on his deepest hidden fantasy. Dean thinks it's hilarious, and why won't Sammy just tell him what it is already? It can't be anything that weird. Right?

Please Tell Me Who I Am

A/B/O AU. As a beta, Sam shouldn’t even be attracted to his alpha brother (much less be yearning for Dean to finally take that last step into claiming him officially) but, a few compatibility issues aside, they’re happy with the pseudo-mateship they’ve got going on. At least, until a hunt-gone-wrong ends up with Sam being cursed into an omega. He and Dean race to find a way to reverse the spell before it’s too late…but now Sam’s not entirely sure if he even wants to be cured.

Convalescence

Post-Cage!Sam seen through the eyes of others.

(more under the cut)

In Loco Parentis

“Sam, are you,” Dean pauses, squeezing his eyes shut for a second because his brain just doesn’t want to catch up. “Are you jerking off and thinking about Dad?” (Sam is 15).

take the things you love

The thing is, Sam’s reinforcing every bad behavior Dean’s ever had with this kind of shit. Fucking Sam stupid over the hood of the Impala? Dean’s wet dream—unfortunately also Sam’s—but more importantly the implicit validation of every claim Dean thinks he has on Sam—unfortunately every claim Sam’s lizard brain wants Dean to have. (Sam knows his brother wants to possess him. It's a point of internal conflict.)

There's An Enochian Incantation

Dean finds a spell to create a weapon to banish leviathans. It involves an Enochian incantation. The last thing Sam's already-fragile mind needs is to hear words in the language of angels.

brother only wants

Sam breathes like it takes effort, and then he says, "Wanting you was the very first thing I realized was wrong with me. It was how I knew there was something sick inside." (One of them had to fall first. A story about devotion.)

Hands Away

When you’re horny and alone with one person in one room for a long time and you’re sixteen and all you’ve ever been taught is to love your brother more than anything, it doesn’t seem like that far of a leap to start imagining what his mouth would feel like around your dick.

Squint into the Sunset | Glare into the Gloaming

The 70k-word nonlinear coming of age story that literally no one asked for. "I know you want to give him the world, Dean, but you were never supposed to give him this."

Taking Advantage

Sam is doing everything Dean tells him to. It’s weird, and Dean wants to get to the bottom of it so he pushes Sam. Sam breaks.

I'd Gladly Lose Me To Find You

Sam takes a vow of silence in order to pull Dean out of Hell, but by the time Dean comes back, Sam's lost more of himself than just his voice. Splits off completely from canon after the season 3 finale.

One Going On Eternity And Counting

Some boundaries were never meant to be crossed ...

with hearts that are guilty, not remorseful

“I’ve wanted you since I knew what wanting was.” It’s a fact, as plain as the day. The sky is blue. Their mother was killed by a demon. They hunt monsters. Sam wants Dean. “I’ve loved you for longer, I think.” “God,” Dean’s voice is barely a whisper, raising a hand to grip his own hair by the roots and pulling. He looks absolutely wretched. “I fucked you up, didn’t I?”

When You're Not Here

The third time Sam Winchester comes to school with bruises, Mrs. Davidson decides it's time to intervene - before it's too late.

Gutless

Sticky fingers, that’s what Dean always calls him.

Bullet for my Valentine

Stupid. He is so goddamn fucking stupid. Running his mouth like a fucking idiot, not knowing when to leave well enough alone. Bad enough that he just practically talked dirty to his little brother, which, Christ – he must be more stressed than he thought if his self-control mechanisms have started malfunctioning that badly. But no, no, he came up with a scenario straight out of a bad slasher film, as if that is something normal people talk dirty about, as if that is something Sam would seriously enjoy. As if – As if Dean hadn’t hunted his own brother through the maze of the bunker, eyes black and hammer raised to strike, not even a full year ago. As if Sam hadn’t, just a few weeks back, knelt at his feet, neck bared, waiting for Dean to deal a fatal blow with a fucking scythe.

I haven't been reading spn fics for long so idk if all these are well known already, but I loved all of these (a couple of them are platonic). hope you'll like them!

#There's more under my tag -> #Fics #:) happy reading! Hope you'll like these #Check the tags ecc ecc #sam & dean #m #supernatural #Wincest #Samdean #Fic rec #Spn #Anon #Asks