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thegnomelord · 4 months

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this isn’t a request but you’re the only writer i know who writes the monster!au so

dragon!reader and dragon!price are haunting my thoughts. dragons usually have to hold themselves back when sparring because they’re so much stronger than other monsters but with price & reader they don’t need to, to the point where the other members of the 141 are kinda wondering if they need to intervene.

what they do or don’t know is this is you and price courting, testing each other’s strength to assess whether you’re suitable mates. once you have decided you’re suitable it continues in the bedroom, fighting for dominance and testing each other’s stamina as price rides you or you pin price down and see if he can take all the strength behind your thrusts.

OH god I LOVE the way you think! I know @rodolfoparras also did a dragon price some time ago but I'm happy to let my monsterfucker out lol :D I'll consider this a spitball thingy but GOD DAMN did my hyperfixation hyperfixate on this :Ddd kinda rushed at the end but it's 3AM :/

CW:NSFW

What about if dragons measure not just raw strength, but all other aspects as well? They're prideful by nature and with so little of them remaining no self-respecting dragon will settle for a witless brute or a powerless scribe.

Price had lost hope in finding a mate centuries ago because he's even pickier than most of his kin; in his view, a proper one needs to be strong enough to completely pin him down, needs to be smart enough to see the insults in his honeyed words and give back as good as he does, needs to be clever enough to lead men as good as he does.

A proper mate needs to keep up with him on all levels.

And for a dragon of his age, that's an unachievable set of criteria. Oh sure, many of the dragons he's met over the years have tried to match him, but all fell short, leaving him lonely and unsatisfied.

Then he met you, a fellow Captain, a fellow dragon. Though only a few centuries younger than him, you're a wyrmling in his eyes, your scales like shining metal compared to his muddled gemstones. An arrogant wyrmling if the way you peacock for him the first time you enter the training room has anything to say about it— your wings spreading out and muscles rippling, back straightening out to make you taller, scales glinting in the artificial light; little details that anyone else can brush off as a simple stretch but to a dragon it screams of your interest in him.

His slitted eyes roam across your body, both equal parts disdain and curiosity. "Got somethin' ta say there boy?" His words are rough like sandpaper.

"No, no." You hum as you get into the ring, every little movement purposely done to showcase your hard earned musculature. "Just that you should skip out on this fight. Wouldn't want you to throw your back out old man."

"Old man huh?" His eyes blaze with the same fire at the end of his cigar, your words igniting something in his chest that had long been extinguished. "I'll show you old."

And suddenly he's in the ring, both of you trading blow for blow with the same savagery your progenitors had frightened mankind with for millennia, your claws leaving deep grooves in the concrete when you miss his side, his tail smashing a portion of the ground into dust when you avoid it, the ground between you cracking when you try to push the other away, loose scales and dust and debris littering the ground as you and Price wrestle on the ground.

Both of your teams watch from the sidelines, your team calming the other members of TF141 that this is just how dragons are, pointedly ignoring your victorious snarl when you pin Price down to the ground, your clawed hand harshly pushing his face into the concrete to the point you might break his nose as you bite the back of his neck, forcing him to submit. "I win,"

"Not fer long." He snarls back just as deep, feeling alive for the first time in who knows how long. "Best two out of three." And with that he jerks, remaining wing slamming into your side and knocking you off balance long enough for him to fling you into the wall opposite of him.

You don't know how many rounds you go before you're forced to stop by a very pissed off Laswell, who also pointedly ignores the obvious bulges in what remains of both of your pants, giving both of you a stern talking to about wrecking the damn training room.

You're ready to leave after being chastised like a child but Price is quicker, passing you with a "Good fight back there." rumbling in his throat, the soft scales of his wing brushing along your jaw. Your eyes nearly pop out of your skull when you meet his gaze, and Price has a good poker face but the smoldering look in his eyes and the low grumble in his chest makes it's obvious you've peaked his curiosity.

But that's just the start, the hard part is keeping it. While regular dragons may spend time with a potential mate conversing on scholarly subjects or having philosophical debates, you and him have a more practical way of assessing the other's intellect — Battle plans.

To your teams it sounds like a harsh argument, ideas thrown around and sharp insults tacked on top, their heads ping ponging between you and Price as you look over maps, trying to one up the other. Eventually your teammates leave you to settle this on your own.

"And I'm telling you, old man," You growl, both of you so close there's barely any space between you as you point at the map. "We can push a smaller team through the forest while we lead the frontal assault, our wip's not going to have anywhere to go then." You huff, holding your head up high to make it obvious you're proud of your idea.

Price gives you the stink eye, before he scans the map again, humming to himself. After a few seconds he lets out a scoff. "We don't have enough men for that." He says, but the sharp edge in his tone is dulled. "But—" His tail moves to brush against your own, your rough scales brushing against his smoother ones. "—It has some merit."

Price doesn't draw attention to the way your tails intertwine, wrapping together like two snakes, and neither do you. But the short purr that bubbles out of your chest says everything he needs to know, growing louder when he answers with his own, your shoulders brushing together. "Aight, back to work." He cuts your purrs short, but you can't hide the pleased look on your face as your tails remain coiled together.

Then comes the actual courting dance.

One late evening spent looking over documents in the privacy of his office, your tails once again coiled beneath the desk after successfully having proved your wit to him again, absentmindedly telling embarrassing stories of your respective teams. . . Price has a revelation. You might be it. "Hey lad."

You look up, your full attention on him. "Yeah?"

With a mumbled grunt too quiet for you to hear Price slides a hand beneath his shirt and pulls a large green scale from the meat of his shoulder blade, the wound healing before it can even bleed.

Instinctively you know what this means, for knowing how a prospective mate treats an extension of you will show how they'll treat you. But you still speak up, needing proof for your own mind that you're not insane and haven't been burning the wrong tree. "What?"

Price glares at you, "Don't play dumb," He says as he slides the large scale across the table to you. "It doesn't suit you." There's an underlayer of heat in his words, blue slitted eyes looking you over in a much more appreciative light.

You can't control the big grin that spreads across your face, "Oh, then what does suit me?" You ask as you follow his lead, yanking out one of your larger scales from your own back and sliding it to him. It makes the difference between you two obvious, his green scale muddled with age compared to your shiny one.

"Arrogant muppet." The gentle way he picks up your scale clashes with his harsh words, cradling it in his hand like it'll crack at the slightest of touches, his face reflected in the surface.

You grin, "Just confident." You feel his sharp eyes judge every minute twitch of your fingers as you pick up his scale. Price's poker face hides the way his heart melts at the loving way you brush a thumb across the surface, how it throbs when you don't immediately attempt to make it shine like some whelps once did, accepting him for how he is by putting it in your breast pocket.

God, he doesn't even know how much he'd fantasized about something like this when he was still young, vestiges of a purr escaping his throat at the tender way you treat his scale. "Right." He shakes his head and places your scale in his own breast pocket, handing you another stack of papers. "Get back to work."

You grin and do as he says, wings twitching as a sign of joy, your tail squeezing down on his and receiving a squeeze in kind.

Price feels like a horny teen when he lays awake in bed late at night with your scale held between his claws. He feels stupid for feeling so giddy at the thought of having a mate, a proper mate, yet his body thinks differently. Just holding it in his hand is enough to make him grow hot, your scent still clings to the scale and Price finds himself holding it close to his nose to familiarize himself with it and Hell his body loves it, cocks growing hard in record time and his thighs wet with slick. The poor thing doesn't even know what to relieve first, his free hand constantly going between stroking his cocks and fingering himself, mind craving the heat of another dragon that he'd been deprived of.

What Price doesn't know is that you're in the same boat, biting your arm to silence yourself as you imagine it's Price you're breeding instead of a pillow, splintering the headboard from how hard you're gripping it in an attempt to not damage the scale.

Then shit hits the fan when during a routine mission you two are ambushed, and while two dragons are no easy prey for mankind, humans have long since gone from using rocks and sticks. You catch sight of a sniper's scope glint seconds before the bullet targets Price, and in only a few seconds to think you throw yourself in the way, Price's scale in your breast pocket puts enough resistance to make you survive the bullet, but you feel it crack, and that. . . that sets you off.

Price doesn't even have the time to lift his gun before you're tearing through the battlefield like a man possessed, anger burning like a volcano in your chest for trying to hurt him, elemental breath and draconic strength unleashed to it's fullest potential.

And Price? Price watches the show with that same heat burning in his belly, forced to bite his lip to silence the pleased purrs as he rubs his thighs together while you tear flesh from bone, mate flashing in his mind. Look how he protects you His mind purrs, Good mate. Perfect mate.

"I'm sorry." You whimper when you've finally calmed down, the battlefield nothing but a ruined crater and the shards of his scale held tenderly in your cupped hands. "I failed, I-"

"Come here." Price cuts you off quickly and pulls you down into a harsh and desperate kiss, all teeth and tongue and need. He parts just a fraction of an inch, "You passed." He growls and only then do you notice the sharp arousal in his scent, your animalistic hindbrain jumping for joy as you kiss back because holy shit he considers you worthy.

And now that he's found his mate? You best believe his body is going to make up for all the centuries he'd spent alone.

It doesn't even take a week for him to enter heat, waking in a daze with his twin cocks hard and his thighs glistening with slick, your scent lingering in the sheets and your side of the bed still warm. The walls almost shake from how deeply he growls when he registers that you're not next to him, just enough sense in his head to throw on a towel around his waist before angerly stomping through the halls to find you, sniffing you out like a bloodhoud.

"Bloody muppet." Price growls as he yanks you by the horns back to his room, the scent of his arousal so potent you're struck dumb, letting yourself be pushed down. Price's claws slice through your clothes, his hole so slick and eager for you he doesn't even need to stretch, just jumps onto your lap and in one fluid motion takes one of your cocks to the root. "Fuckin' finally." Price hisses, instantly setting a harsh pace of bouncing on your cock that would have had a lesser race end up with a crushed pelvis.

You grip his hips for dear life, surging up to mark his neck and shoulders with bites as he does the same, his ass clapping against your thighs. "Mate." Price moans, hole clenching around you, his cocks leaking against your stomach. "My mate." He grips your hair and pulls you into a bruising kiss, "Going to last long for me yeah?" He asks, a bit of mockery on his flushed face as he feels you cum inside him, riding you through your orgasm as the sudden onslaught of sensations frazzles the intelligent parts of your brain. "Not going to disappoint me now are you?"

Good thing dragons have really short refractory periods.

"Not a chance." You snarl and flip him over suddenly, rumbling purrs escaping your chest from the surprised sound he makes. You attempt to pin him down and he squirms out of your hold, another bout of wrestling breaking out between you that has you two tumbling off the bed and onto the ground.

"That so whelp?" Price breathes out when you manage to pin him down, your strong hand keeping his face flush with the floor. "Do you really think you can keep up?" A pleased thrill runs down his spine from the sensation of your weight bearing down on him, his knees automatically locking up to hike his ass up, tail flipping up to display his slick hole for you.

"Do you?" You counter, one hand on his head, the other pressing both of your dicks together, your two tips pressing against his ass. "You're so wet and desperate, should have just pinned you down the moment I saw you instead of courting you." With one sharp thrust you push in, a pained and elated moan tearing out of his throat at the sensation of your twin cocks spreading him wider than any toy ever could, scratching that itch he'd had for who knows how long.

The stretch and burn and pleasure muddles his mind, reduces him to low animalistic snarls and growls as he does his best to push his hips into yours. "Hurry the fuck up." Price orders, whole body shaking from the way you set a harsh pace, bashing on his prostate, your balls slapping against his own, each hard thrust pushing and pulling his face across the floor. "I'll- fuck- fall asleep."

"You sure about that?" You push your weight further on him, forcing his wing to spread out, your own partially wrapping around him, "Seems to me like-" A bit of elemental breath leaves your throat when one particularly strong thrust has his hole clamping down on you, his back arching to push his hips as close to yours as one of his cocks spews cum on the floor, "-like you're not in a place to order me around."

"You- ah-fuck-ah- wanker." His insult would be a lot more hurtful if he didn't whine like a bitch in heat, both of you devolving into primitive snarls and growls with the only thought on both of your minds being the need to fill Price with as much of your cum as you physically can.

#Spittballs with Gnome #Idk how this happened #my hyperfixation got wayyy out of hand #n my monsterfucking got out of hand #cod mw2 #gnome correspondence #x reader #trinkets from the hoard #male reader #top male reader #captain john price #john price x male reader #john price x reader #top dom reader #cod modern warfare #cod smut #cod x male reader

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2jihiir0 · 15 days

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“Make it quick… baby’s sleeping..”

🚬🥃🖤⛓️

Older scruffier trailer trash Eddie that takes care of younger Steve while running some illegal businesses. I saw the new Hoard trailer and this sort of happened ?? My brain has been melting ever since.

Anyways enjoy loves~

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fanart #myart #older eddie munson #daddy Eddie munson #like reaaal daddy #dark eddie munson #inspired a bit by Michael from Hoard 🤭#all feminism left my body while drawing this #I wanna go make him a sandwich and have his babies

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shankss-magnificent-ass · 7 months

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Imagine Katakuri getting a crush on you and Big mom arranging a marriage between you two

Big Mom: -takuri... Katakuri!

Katakuri: *snaps out of his day dream* Oh yes, Mama

Big Mom: where were you, you've been distracted during meetings for days.

Katakuri: It's nothing, sorry mama, it won't happen again. I have some paper work to attend to, may I please be excused?

Big Mom: yes.

Daifuku: *soon as Katakuri leaves* I believe he's fallen in love, Mama.

Big Mom: Ehh, with whom?

Perospero: With (y/n), they attended your last tea party with their father, who owns the largest vanilla orchard in the world.

Big Mom: really? Are they single?

Daifuku: I ... I'm not sure, Mama.

Big Mom: I'll look into it then, in the meantime look after your brother, make sure he keeps up with his work.

Perospero and Daifuku: Yes Mama.

Daifuku: *once Big Mom is out of ear shot* Did we just sign Katakuri up to get married.

Persopero: Probably, you know how mama is about securing ingredients for sweets. And unfortunately for our dear brother, vanilla is found in most sweets, from angel food cake to zingers.

Daifuku: but what if (y/n)'s father doesn't agree to join and marry of his only child?

Persopero: If that happens Mama will do a hostile take over, and either marry or give (y/) to Katakuri.

Later at Big Mom's residence

Katakuri: *arrives for a meeting only to find you in the conference room* Oh, what are you doing here?

You: My father has agreed to join your pirate group, and to marry me off into your family.

Katakuri: * sits next to you* ... Do you know who you'll be marrying?

You: not yet, but that's what this meeting is about.

Katakuri: *knows his mother only invites the child she wants to marry off to these meetings but doesn't want to scare you* no mater who you marry, I'll make sure you're taken care of and have everything your heart desires.

You: *gives him a weak smile* Thank you, Kata, you wouldn't believe relieved I am to hear that.

Katakuri: *extends his hand for you to hold* Mama, should be here soon.

You: *takes his hand and squeezes it with trembling hands*

Katakuri: You're shaking.

You: I've... just never not been under my father's protection, and I'm scared.... but I do feel better with you here with me.

Katakuri: *rubs the back of your hand with his thumb* Really? Even though we've only met a handful of times in the part?

Big Mom: *kicks open the door* (y/n)! I'm so glad you could come... Oh, I see you've already met your betrothed.

Katakuri: Me!?

Big Mom: *glared* You like them, don't you?

Katakuri: *blushes* mama! Please let's not embarrass me in front of our guest.

Big Mom: mmmr, very well, since you two are already getting acquainted I'll leave you to it. ... Oh, by the way the wedding is in five days. *Leaves*

Katakuri: Five days until we're married... *flops back into his chair and is lost in thought, coming to grips with the fact that he is to be married.*

You: ... I'm sorry about this I don't know what my father was thinking offering me up like this.

Katakuri: He didn't offer you up, Mama offered me up first. Mainly to gain your father's orchard, but that is beside the point. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. You probably won't be moved into my house until after the wedding, but I can have my sisters look after you.

You: You mean you won't be staying with me?

Katakuri: *takes your hands into his and presses them to his lips through his scarf* No, but only because I need to work double time, so you can have me all to yourself during our honeymoon.

You: ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠☉⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠☉⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

Katakuri: *realizes how that sounded* Not that we have to do anything during our honeymoon that you don't want.... I'm going to go start on my work, I'll have Brûlée come and get you settled into your rooms, in the meantime please wait here.

You: Okay, and for the record, I look forward to... to having you all to myself during our honeymoon, if you catch my drift.

Katakuri: ⁠ ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁄⁠ロ⁠⁄⁠•⁄⁠ ⁠'⁄⁠)⁠⁄

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#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #katakuri x reader #charlotte katakuri #charlotte katakuri x reader #big mom #linlin #big mom pirates #charlotte daifuku #charlotte perospero #from the depths of the dragon's hoard #tma original #10/2/23 #no beta we die like men

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urhoneycombwitch · 30 days

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foreword: typing this from my phone while blitzed sorry if this is messy. lol. based off of those Hoard pics of Joe Quinn. edible arms. u get it.

+18 mdni. husky!neighbor!Eddie x Reader

Cw: mutual masturbation, desc of Eddie’s larger weight (but purely in a fat-positive manner. big boys are hot period), soft!dom from both sides, R has breasts + a V and a lot of feminine nicknames are used.

Your surprise visit to Eddie’s apartment in the middle of the night has taken an awkward turn when, in the midst of your familiar barging in and subsequent ramble about the latest drama at your work, you realize Eddie is out of breath just from standing behind the counter.

“did I… interrupt something?” you ask, the beginning of a tease in your voice, squinting at the visible sheen on his skin (peeking out from a faded tee and sweatpants hung low on those plush hips. not that you were staring, per se...) “do you have a girl over?”

he rolls his eyes. “only girl over here is you, sweetheart.”

you lean into your forearms across the countertop, dropping to a joking, salacious whisper- “so you were jacking off, then?”

what you don’t expect is Eddie to scoff and blush, but that’s what he does: rosy pink tingeing his cheeks, eyes darting to the floor.

“oh my god.” you straighten, taking a step back, suddenly self-conscious. “you actually were? i- i was joking.”

Eddie shakes out of his embarrassment, trying to mollify you. “nah, don’t sweat it, angel. you couldn’t have known. maybe we just go our separate ways for tonight and-“

“I was gonna go home and do the same, actually,” you blurt out, feeling warm yourself.

that gets you his eyes, intense and suddenly focused on yours.

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” you take a step closer, rounding to his side of the counter. “I could… do it here. if you wanted.”

“holy shit,” Eddie murmurs, as you press against his front, his big arms automatically encircling your shoulders. “really?”

“where do you want me?”

“uhhh…” Eddie stalls for a moment then recovers. “the bed. my bed is good. let’s go in there.”

he leads you down the hall to his room, a bit of laundry hanging here and there but otherwise clean and lit by cozy lamplight.

“smells like boy in here.” you sigh happily with a gentle bounce onto the bed. you scoot towards the wall to make room on the bed for two, but when you look over, Eddie’s dragging a chair across the carpet to face you and sits in it.

“the hell are you doing?” you’re about to protest at the level of intimacy that you feel has ramped up in his favor, but Eddie just shrugs a shoulder.

“think of it this way, princess: you’ll get to watch me, too.”

his words stop you from complaining further. Eddie throws an arm over his shoulder to pull his t-shirt off, his guitar pick nestled just above the ornate crow tattoo covering his chest. staggering his feet on the ground, his thighs widen to show off the steadily-growing bulge in his sweats.

he’s fucking gorgeous. thick arms, a dark trail of hair smattering across the pudge of his stomach and dipping into his waistband. your mouth waters as you lie back on the pillows, wiggling out of your jeans and underwear without taking your eyes off of him.

Eddie palms himself through his pants, rings glinting in the low light.

when you spread yourself for him, the wet click of your stickiness between your fingers makes him moan.

“fuck yeah, sweetheart. touch that pretty clit for me.”

you obey, dipping your fingers down into the well of your wetness before rubbing circles against your bundle of nerves, hips bucking into your own touch.

“you can- ah- touch yourself, too.” your voice is strained but Eddie must’ve heard you; he wastes no time in pulling his sweats down around his balls, revealing a sizeable cock that drips precum steadily over his fist as he begins to stroke himself.

“fuck, Eddie,” you gasp, fingers working faster over your throbbing clit, other hand pawing at your nipples hardened through layers of fabric. “how’m I ever gonna take that?”

“we’ll work you up to it.”

that shouldn’t make you clench the way it does. “jesus, Eddie.”

there’s a slick noise with each of his movements, harsh slap of skin as he fucks into his own fist. “stick some fingers inside you, doll. how many can you take?”

the fingers on your clit stay but you slide your other hand to your mouth, sucking on the middle three before following them down the slope of your body to slowly push them into your gushing hole.

Eddie swears, hips snapping forward. “fuck yeah. just like that… be a good girl for me, curl ‘em up and fuck yourself.”

“wish it was you.” you’re letting the sound of Eddie’s fist set your own rhythm, eyes starting to roll back, wave of pleasure mounting. “wish it was your cock filling me up instead of my fingers…”

“next time,” Eddie says- and it’s the way he says is, all breathless assurance, that sends the wave crashing into you.

“fu-uuck…” the crown of your head tips back into the pillows, cunt clenching around your fingers as you come. through your own haze of peaking, you hear Eddie’s praises in rocky timbre.

“that’s it, baby. let it out. oh, fuck yes, you’re so hot- fuck, you’re gonna make me come-“

you open your eyes just in time to watch his shoulders curl in, ropes of cum shooting out of the ruddy head of his cock, painted against his chest and stomach, into the hair that’s fallen over his shoulders.

Eddie collapses back into his chair with a low-toned sigh, slack-jawed until you giggle him into speech again. “christ. that was incredible. goddamn. you're officially invited to interrupt my jacking off sessions any time, from now until the end of time."

#eddie munson x reader #e.m. thots from lu #eddie munson smut #husky!neighbor!Eddie #Hoard #joseph quinn #+18 mdni

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snapdragonshoard · 4 days

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@hqwke

#a relic from the early undergrad years #hold onto your friends as long as they’ll let you #because they produce throwbacks like this #as well as 10 years worth of CRINGE #but that’s okay #hoarding posts #homestuck #but not really #john egbert #dave strider #johndave

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 8 months

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joking aside, I love this site. I have learned so much from this site. I have received so much love and support from this site, and I hope to be here for years to come (especially now that we accidentally won Least Worst Social Media Platform, despite our very best efforts)

that being said, taking a break was really helpful for me mentally. it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to keep people entertained so they would like me. I'm talking like, 'rereading & editing a single dumb shitpost a dozen times a day' levels of overthinking.

So yeah: I love it here, I plan to keep making people (and myself) laugh, but going forward I'm going to be putting less pressure on myself to be as entertaining/active as i used to aim for. Less "I choked on my gogurt" levels of humor, more "sensible chuckle." (sometimes I may even indulge in a joke that purposefully fails to resonate with the audience! it will be quite a mischievous little treat for me 🤭.)

anyways please be patient if my posts lack a certain pizzazz going forward. the pizzazz is out of stock. no there is none in the back room. the pizzazz is on back order ok. no I'm not paying for expedited shipping. our supplier is experiencing a shortage. pizzazz is a controlled substance, do you have no understanding of the paperwork involved? piss off with your piddling pizzazz

TLDR if you think my posts were mediocre before just u wait sweetheart you ain't seen nothing yet. (they are going to get worse. what I'm saying is they are going to get even more underwhelming. i feel good about this.)

#serious post #ish #do i have tenure? is tumblr tenure a thing?#either way from here on out i am PHONING IT IN MY BABIES!#you get a reblogged post from 2021! you get a rebloggrd post! you get a reblogged post!#and you! get a piece of horrific fanart! that's been containly secured in the ask box since 2020 #and YES it contains the Grinch x Tony the Tiger in delicisio fragrantance #ps I lied there IS a small supply of Pizzazz left on the top shelf but i am hoarding it for my own personal use

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spicyraeman · 3 months

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just a little Lae'zel screenshot dump

#bg3 #lae'zel #some oldies I still love from my screenshot hoard #hd puppy dog eyes

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leggyre · 1 year

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im the most carbon roller ever my mom said so

#the art tag #splatoon #splatooin'#hi i made a horrible habit of hoarding art #that was me on call i went from 'im going feral' to 'actually shes baby'#LOVE the people replying w their weapons it's fun to see

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veilofmegiddo · 9 months

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MICHAEL DUMP!!!!🎊🎊🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎉🥳🥳

we just passed his 86th birthday in may, so some of these are from around 1962! get it grandpa

#michael starr #david lee ralph #from literally every era #ralph saenz #michael diamond #steel panther #nightfall #7% sollution #atomic punks #metal shop #metal skool #rock n roll #some of these are really old #rares #rock bands #90s rock #not all steel panther #sorry #from the hoard

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turns-out-its-adhd · 10 months

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#adhd memes #adult adhd #neurodivergence #adhd #neurodiversity #adhd brain #adhd things #neurodiversesquad #digital hoarding #adhd memetherapy #i think this was from twitter

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ladyvaderpixetc · 9 months

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Jon Stewart, hitting the nail on the head once again.

#gacked from Jessica Chastain's tweet #jon stewart #on the ridiculous lies regarding #trickle down economics #and billionaires hoarding wealth to play with #abolish billionaires #us politics #but also kind of #uk politics #hell it's #world politics #billionaires and privatisation are a global threat

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thegnomelord · 4 months

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Ok, so I loved your dragon reader/ dragon price fic. The detailed courting rituals got me thinking about how different members of TF 141 react to a s/o who has different courting rituals than them.

The one rolling around in my mind rn is Gaz (which I'm pretty sure is a harpy or bird hybrid of some kind) with a dragon reader.

So Gaz tries to court reader through a more fancy version of pebbling. But, instead of giving cool rocks and sticks, it's gemstones and weapons. Yknow, expensive/fancy things that Gaz thinks the reader might want to add to his hoard.

Btw do you have an anon list? If so, is 👑 anon available?

I don't have an anon list yet but you're welcome to be 👑anon!

It's cool to think how they'd try to court you. I hc that werewolves, and Johnny by extension, are really straightforward. Like sitting way too close, hands roaming over your body, trying to lick into your mouth and going "Hey wanna make more of us?"

Ghost, the poor thing, is completely fucked bc he was human before becoming a wraith, how the Hell is he supposed to know? Que him going through Wikipedia articles and watching documentaries of your species courting and mating (having to rub one out imaging you and him in that position ofc) and just stumbling through the whole courting thing.

CW:NSFW

But Gaz? Oooh Gaz—

Safe to say he's fallen ass over tits for you.

It's the way you take care of them, of him, of the monstrous strength used to defend them turning velvet soft when Gaz needs emotional support that has his harpy hindmind demanding to lock you down before a competitor snatches you away.

Only problem — you're not a harpy. And Gaz has no idea how courtship works, as when he asks Price about it (under the guise of just being curious) the old fart just gives him an amused look and tells him to figure it out.

Though harpies and dragons are two different species, he figures there must be some similarities, so he figures to listen to the old fairy tales about your kind and looks for the shiniest thing he can find, because Harpies court by giving gifts and dragons like to hoard and both of them like shiny stuff right?

You're confused like Hell when one day you wake up to find a silver ring with a shiny amethyst sitting on your windowsill. You know for a fact it's not yours as the instinct to catalogue every item in your hoard is as old as the draconic blood running through your veins and you'd remember if you had it.

When you make sure it's not stolen and no owner can be found, (because who'd wear that type of ring in a military base?) you decide to keep it, failing to notice how the way Gaz's pupils get bigger when you put the ring in your pocket.

It is a nice ring, the shine of the gemstone tickling your brain in a pleasant way. The military doesn't allow dragons to have large hoards, most of the items you've gathered over the decades and centuries safely hidden in vaults, but it feels good to have a small hoard in your den.

You expect this to be a one off event. But. No. Every few weeks you find a new thing on your windowsill, from gems to guns to additions to weapons you've expressed you'd like to get. Each new thing leaves you scratching your head, annoyance growing bit by bit as there's never enough scent on the items to track the culprit down and it's not like you can turn the base upside down looking for them (again).

You're unsure how to feel; it's obvious someone is trying to court you, but it definitely can't be Price because no dragon would go about it like this. But you have to admit it's nice to be desired, regardless how odd the method may be.

Then you notice how Gaz has started acting. . . different. He'll ruffle his feathers and flutter his wings more than usual when you two are alone, purposely stretch more often to make your eyes naturally draw to him, sticking to your side as he talks about everything and anything under the sun.

You're also not a fool. You can figure out it's a harpy's way of trying to show off, but without any open hostility you can only assume he's trying to court you. And you let him, you like his presence and the sound of his voice, the way he gives you a lopsided smile and the way his dark feathers shine like onyx gems when the light hits them juuust right and the way he flushes and stutters when your tail wraps around his leg.

Then one late evening when you're doing paperwork you catch sight of something behind your window in the corner of your eye. Like a flash you're opening the window, your clawed hand gripping Gaz's hand before he can scatter.

Gaz's wings spread out wide, a surprised squawk leaving him as he looks into your slitted eyes. "Uh-, I, eh- Hi?" He says, gulping, his newest gift, a very shiny ruby, held in his hand. But what draws your eye are his dark feathers.

You let out an amused snort, "Hello." You purr, leaning in so your faces are close, enjoying the way he flushes from the proximity. "So you're the little thief that's been visiting me."

Gaz's feather puff up to make his silhouette twice as big, his eyes narrowing, a hurt and angry look spreading across his features. "I'm no thief!" He says, insulted that you'd suggest he can't get you gifts on his own. "I-"

"You are," You hum, reaching out your other hand to hold his jaw, and even with his anger he feels his mind croon at how softly you touch him. "You're in the process of stealing my heart."

"Oh." Is the most intelligent thing he can come up with, his pupils blowing wide like he'd just seen the shiniest thing in his life. "Oh."

"Yes," You shrug and pull your hand back to yank one of your scales out of your shoulder, giving it to him as you take the ruby. "Keep this safe for me, yeah?" You hum and then you let him go, going back to your work while he's left dumbstruck, clutching the scale close to his chest.

When it finally settles in his head that you'd just given him a gift, that you'd reciprocated, and given him a shiny gift, oh he's treating that scale like it's the most precious thing in his world. He keeps it close to him, cooing to it in the privacy of his room, keeping it on his pillow so he can fall asleep with your scent in his nose.

He also doubles down on the gifts, but now he's very open about it, to the point you'll have him randomly come into your office to give you something shiny or another weapon, preening so prettily when you praise the thing he's brought back, nuzzling into your neck and fluffing up his feathers. His heart swoons when you show him the small hoard you've made with all the things he's brought you, and you end up spending the entire evening with him cuddled up to you, chirping happily.

"Hey, can I see that scale I gave you?" You ask after a couple of weeks, curious to see how he's treated it.

"Uh, sure." Gaz can swear his heart's beating like a war drum as he watches you inspect your scale, checking for scratches or cracks.

But you find none, it's still as shiny as the day you'd given it to him. Maybe even shinier.

You smile and before he can do anything you pull him close to you by a hand on his hip. "Very well done, little thief." You hum, kissing him. Gaz melts against you, not even your lips able to muffle the happy chirps and croons that escape his chest.

You spend the next few months getting familiar with each other's bodies, lazy evenings spent with your clawed hands preening his wings, Gaz steadily melting into the bed with every brush of your fingers. Kyle taking a few extra minutes in the morning to rub his face between your wing, chirping and crooning.

Harpy mating season comes around and you're caught off guard when you come to your room to find your covers and pillows and entire wardrobe on the ground, turned into a makeshift nest with a very naked, and very horny, Gaz sitting in the middle of it.

His eyes are hazy but he knows you're there the second your scent hits his nose, the most desperate sound you've ever heard leaving his lips, bruised from how hard he'd been biting them to reign his noises in, to keep them only for you.

"Mate-" Kyle whines, shuffles in the nest that has the pretty gems he'd gifted you strewn amongst the fabric, "-need you, please- I-"

One more needy sound is all it takes to have you tumbling naked into the nest in record time, deep guttural purrs answering his pleased coos. He presses flush against you, seeking out your mouth, whole body burning up and his thighs shaking, his cock rock hard.

"I got you, pretty thief." You rumble, pulling him into your lap, his wings spreading out and feathers puffing up, as if he needs to make himself look even more desirable. "What do you need Kyle?"

"Need you," Kyle whines, pawing at your own erection, desperate fingers shaking as he strokes you, "Please- hurts, I need- mate."

You shush him with sweet kisses, your hand sliding down to very carefully stretch him open while avoiding injuring him with your claws, your mind purring at how willingly he opens up for you, wings and limbs shaking as he whimpers against your lips, his mind steadily leaking from his cock.

"You're alright," You calm him when you pull your fingers out, positioning him so your cock head rests against his entrance, not missing how Kyle preens at your strength. "Going to breed you right, gonna take care of you."

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kyle moans are loud as you steadily push your cock into him, his walls clamping down on every inch of your length. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank- mate." His claws dig into your shoulders, clutching you tight as you bottom out in him, his hole clenching you in sync with his ragged breathing.

"I'm here," You hum, barely able to think, "Just relax, let me take care of you." You say, feeling him relax into you, and with deep purrs and lots of praise you begin to fuck him, moving him like a fleshlight on your cock, letting him moan and groan and scream his heart out uncaring who hears it, your ancient blood singing at the thought of his noises being a testament to your abilities as a mate.

Then the tight heat and the scent and just Kyle has your mind forgetting how to think, your body moving on it's own to show Kyle he'd picked a good mate.

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