I’m sorry but the “Luther wants to throw you a party so you feel loved” “do you feel loved?” And then the most genuinest, most wholesomest, most gorgeous smile and the little shy “yes” from Viktor has me sobbing it’s so damn cute
all the hargreaves children are actually babeys and deserve no slander only unconditional love because reginald never gave them any kind of parental guidance support or encouragement ever causing them severe and irreversible emotional development damage
Hey how the fuck did Reginald Hargreaves raise a monkey into a gentleman but his human children into [gestures at the umbrella academy]
I would like to see Hargreaves family time please :3
HMMMM have a bonding scene ;3c
it is unedited though bc i never got around to it lmao
The thing they don’t tell you about recovering after escaping from terrible experiences, is that there are some things that you miss about them. You can be glad that you escaped while still mourning what you left behind, even if as far as you are concerned there shouldn’t be anything to mourn in the first place.
Five hated the apocalypse with something heavy and terrible that settled deep in his gut and that tended to be vomited out at the most inopportune times. Or perhaps it wasn’t hate at all, but fear that he experienced. Not that he would ever admit it, mind you.
But there were just some things that just - well. Five had spent over forty years in the apocalypse, sifting through rubble and ruin and scratching out equations on walls that were too broken to offer even the memory of the comfort and safety they’d once upheld. He’d spent forty years clinging to life by his fingernails and re-reading a book that was the only thing he had of his siblings outside of the grave sites he refused to visit,
He didn’t want to go back there. His entire life’s work was getting out of that hellscape and making it so that it never existed in the first place. Five hated and feared the apocalypse, but oh there were some days that he missed it with such a terrible fierceness it rather took his breath away.
He missed it on the days when nothing seemed to go right, when every word that came out of his mouth was wrong. When people looked at him with tightness around their eyes and pinched lips, and his siblings looked at him with pity in their eyes. Poor little Number Five, who couldn’t even accomplish the simplest of social interactions without inevitably fucking it up. Poor little Number Five, who forgot that people weren’t supposed to write on walls or hoard food in their rooms or freak out when someone burned food in a kitchen.
Adapting to a normal life was a challenge that Five hadn’t ever thought about - because what about his life had ever been normal? He was a child soldier, and then an apocalypse survivor, and then a temporal assassin and then - he wasn’t quite certain what he was now. Was he a child, or an adult? What was he supposed to do with himself now?
He missed that sense of purpose in the apocalypse. He missed Dolores. His one companion for so many years. He’d actually known her for longer than he’d known his own family, and wasn’t that an odd thought?
He missed the spot he’d holed up in before an earthquake had ruined it almost ten years before the Commission had found him. It wasn’t much, but he’d found a handful of records that had miraculously survived and an old record player that had even more miraculously done so.
He’d admitted to Dolores that he didn’t really know how to dance, not beyond the general flailing and swaying his siblings had used to drag him into when Luther played something from his budding collection.
(Five hadn’t had the heart to go rooting through the remains of the Umbrella Academy for things that could be salvaged, but he wondered about it often. He wondered if he’d find a whole entire collection of records, of if Luther would have lost interest and gotten rid of them all. He wondered if Allison still read through all the trashy magazines she could get her hands on as an adult, if she still tried to balance books on her head and walk regally through the house just because she’d read it once in a princess book or if she’d grown out of that.
He was back now, and perfectly capable of asking, but he didn’t. He looked at his siblings and saw strangers and missed his childhood even with the shadow of Reginald looming over them all. He loved his siblings as they were now, but oh he ached with the knowledge that the siblings he had known, the ones he had tried so hard to get back to, were lost to time. As good as dead. But then again, perhaps so was he.
He wasn’t the child who left on that fateful November day. He would never be him again.)
He missed Dolores teaching him to dance under the pale moon. Or well, not perhaps dancing so much as gently swaying together with his arms around her, cheek pressed against hers, as he closed his eyes and pretended for a moment that he hadn’t met her in the apocalypse at all. That they’d just bumped into one another in the street and gone on dates where he made her laugh and where he stressed about what to wear - a million inconsequential moments that meant nothing and everything at the same time. He’d wished they’d had a life together instead of the slow drawn out death that was the only thing that existed in the apocalypse.
And perhaps, there were other things he didn’t know he would miss until they were already gone and out of reach. Things he didn’t even think about, until he looked up at night and wondered where all the stars had gone.
It was a silly thing to get upset over, to go tearing through the house like a man possessed to figure out what had happened to the stars.
(Or perhaps it wasn’t so silly after all - the almost-apocalypse he had witnessed destroyed the moon. Was it such a reach to wonder about the stars, as well?)
Light pollution was the simple answer. It wasn’t that the stars were no longer there, just that they were drowned out. Only a few pinpricks bright enough to shine through and be picked up by the human eye. There had been no human lights in the apocalypse, with no one to turn them on or off except one lonely man who had a flashlight with scavenged batteries. Not nearly enough to make any difference.
The stars had been so beautiful. On the clear crisp nights, he’d lay next to Dolores on the ground staring up at the brilliant specks of light and tried his darnest to remember the constellations that once upon a time Luther had enthusiastically outlined for his unattentive brother at the height of his space phase.
(“When we get back,” He’d whispered to Dolores ever so softly, in the way he whispered every wish that only seemed appropriate to utter out loud under the night sky, “I’m going to get Luther to tell me them again, and I’ll actually listen this time. I won’t tell him to shut up, or that stars aren’t important. I’ll listen.”
He’d never been very good at listening, even as a child. But outside of a seven day deadline - the apocalypse had taught him patience. It was something the Commission found to be a boon as well - there was nothing more deadly than a very patient predator on the hunt, after all.)
Klaus had told him that the apocalypse was an addiction, and Five had done his best to quit cold turkey.
He’d returned Dolores to her store, mourning what could never be between them. In darker moments, he wondered if she would have ever actually chosen him - in that imaginary world where they met on a crowded street by happenstance. They’d been forced together at the end of the world, and even though he loved her he wondered about things like choice and happiness and shared trauma. Them breaking up was the right thing to do, he knew that, he just hadn’t realized quite how much it would hurt.
So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Five sought comfort where he could. That he stole a record from Luther’s collection (it had gotten bigger, a passion pursued into adulthood which was one question answered) that he must have played dozens of times on that record player in their little sanctuary at the end of the world. That he slept on the floor instead of the bed that was far too soft in so many ways.
That he crept up to the roof and lay on his back and stared at the stars that were visible, remembering a sky filled with diamonds and a cool hand in his own and whispered hopes and dreams and secrets from one terribly lonely boy to the uncaring infinity of the cosmos.
And maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that it wasn’t long until he was discovered up there, gazing at the sky with such careful mourning carved across his face.
(He hated and feared the apocalypse, but he mourned it as well. It had raised him, in the harsh and terrible way that was all the apocalypse knew how to do. He’d been raised by Reginald Hargreeves and forged in bruises and thoughtless brutality, and then delivered into the arms of something else that didn’t care for him either.
He grew into a boy with careless cruelty and harsh criticisms and a love for his siblings that burned hotter and longer than any fire the apocalypse could produce. He grew into a man, or perhaps just something man-shaped, in starvation and desperation and terrible all-consuming loneliness.
Reginald had been fond of telling them, “You will learn through suffering.” It was something trotted out whenever the children were forced to skip meals or run up and down stairs until their insides twisted and they retched on the floor barely held up by burning thighs and weak knees. It was being tossed behind locked doors until they promised their unrelenting obedience to a man who had done nothing to deserve it.
If suffering was a teacher, then surely Five was one of the wisest people alive.)
“What are you doing up here?” Luther asks, too loud in the stillness of the night. Five doesn’t begrudge him it though, it wasn’t every day one was confronted by their teenage shaped brother laying listlessly on the roof at hours when everybody should be tucked away in bed.
“What are you doing up here?” Five parrots back, melancholy mood sharpening the edge of his words into something more pointed than he perhaps meant them to be.
Luther shuffles, looking awkward in his own skin as he so often does. It’s enough to make Five soften, just ever so slightly. After all, Luther isn’t exactly the only member of the house who feels alien in their own body.
Perhaps it’s cruel to take comfort in his brother’s discomfort. But perhaps Five is cruel. It isn’t the worst thing he’s been called in his life.
(No one speaks about the dinner where Five and Diego had been sniping at one another and pushing each other’s buttons where Diego had brought up Five abandoning the family. That had been his exact word - abandoning. Five had frozen and Diego had pressed on, snarling about Five not getting an opinion about Reginald because he’d ditched so early and left the rest of them to Dad’s tender mercies. He’d said far more, but the rest of that dinner was a blur of sound and colors for Five.
Diego had apologized over the incident and then proceeded to not look Five in the eye for the next week. The whole family were so good at picking at one another’s weak spots and hitting them hard and fast. It was practically second nature. They knew which points to leave alone when it came down to it for each other, but not for Five. Not yet.
They didn’t know him anymore. It was a work in progress navigating their respective minefields of trauma in the meantime.)
“I asked you first.” Luther says, childish statement bringing Five out of his own thoughts. At the end of the day, they are brothers.
And perhaps it is that brotherly spirit that prompts Five’s lips to quirk as he offers the equally childish response of: “I asked you second.”
Luther scowls, but he’s fully aware of exactly how stubborn Five could be. That’s Five, built out of spite and pettiness, who never knew how to just lay down and give up. But if he’d been any less himself, they would never be there that night on the roof irritating one another. The thought fills Five up with something that could almost be called fondness.
Luther crosses his arms, and looks away. “I like looking at the stars.” He admits haltingly, and it makes Five sit up from where he was still sprawled on the ground. “I just - on the moon - I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid.” Five cuts in with a fierceness that surprises them both. Five doesn’t look at Luther, just the sky. “There’s not as many stars, here. Not that you can see. It’s supposed to look different, but what’s left is still comforting because the sky is a constant. Because the stars don’t really change, even when the rest of the world does.”
“Yeah.” Luther sounds surprised at Five’s insight. There’s a moment of hesitation before Luther is gently lowering himself down to sit on the roof a few feet away from where Five is. When Five dares to sneak a glance, Luther’s eyes are trained on the sky with an almost wistful look on his face.
“I know I’m not supposed to miss it,” Luther begins, and the thought sounds so much like what Five was just pondering that he can’t help but startle. Thankfully, Luther doesn’t see. “But - it was always my dream, you know? To go up there, into space. I know it was just a rejection now, that Dad didn’t want me around so he wouldn’t have to face his failure.” Luther’s face twisted as he spat out the last word. He’d taken it hard, learning that he was just as insignificant in the grand scheme of their father’s plans as the rest of them.
“But.” Luther continues, his face smoothing out, “It was still four years of my life. I had a routine. It was lonely, but god Five. The weightless feeling? The stars? The sunrises? There’s nothing quite like it.”
There’s a silence between them for a moment that Five decides to break. Because he’s trying, he really is.
“Sometimes,” Five says, so softly that Luther actually shifts closer to hear him, “Sometimes the apocalypse was beautiful. A decade or so in, when the plants just tentatively started realizing it was safe to grow again, and the weeds came back first. Just spots of green and bright yellow dotted through the cracks and crevices.”
(Five had spent many springs of his life wandering through the rubble, leaning down to pick dandelions to admire before he ate them. Even when he was terribly hungry, he’d never eaten all of them - always leaving some to mature and bring more the next year. Picking them up and blowing softly and remembering the first time he’d seen one - on a mission where Ben had quietly and excitedly informed them that they had to blow on it and make a wish. That he’d read about it in a book.
Five had made the same wish for forty some years. He wasn’t sure what he’d wish for now, now that it had come true.)
“And when the skies were clear, at night - the stars were beautiful.” Five admitted, Luther made a sound but Five ignored it to carry on because if he didn’t speak his mind now he might never. “There were so many Lu, way more than we ever saw out our bedroom windows. And on nights where the moon was just a sliver, there were even more. We’d lay out there for hours.”
Luther coughs. Five looks over and isn’t quite sure why there’s a guilty look on his brother’s face. “’We’ would uh, be you and uh, Dolores, right?”
Ah, that would explain it. Luther always got that look when Five brought up Dolores, no doubt thinking about when he’d held her out of a window as leverage to prevent Five from killing someone. Luther hadn’t known then, Five thinks, about exactly how much Dolores meant to him. He’d known she was important, but hadn’t known why. He hadn’t asked.
There’s nothing Five can do but nod though, in response to the question. “Yeah. She likes the stars, she’s always loved things that glitter.” It was why she loved sequins so much, and Five was secure enough to admit that he liked them as well.
There’s an awkward silence between them now, one that Five can’t help but try and break. “I tried to remember the constellations.” He blurts out, grasping at the connection the two of them had shared before it slips between his fingers and results in them quietly going to their rooms and forgetting this conversation ever happened.
He can’t look at Luther, not as he admits this. So he doesn’t, he turns his gaze upwards to the pinpricks of light. “Do you remember, when we were eight and Mom gave you that book of constellations? And you wouldn’t shut up about it for like, a whole month? You kept waking all of us up and dragging us to the roof and you said we had to listen to you because you were Number One?”
Luther surprises Five just a little by laughing, “Yeah! Yeah I do remember that. Diego threatened to throw me off the roof if I ever woke him up in the middle of the night again after the fourth time and I’m pretty sure Klaus learned morse code to complain about me to Ben.”
Five grins, “Nah, don’t flatter yourself. He learned morse code with Ben to gossip at dinner. Your little nighttime shows were just something else he could yell about in front of Dad without anyone the wiser.”
“Of course he did.” Luther just sounds exasperated at their most colorful sibling’s antics, which is a big improvement on how he would have felt about it when they were actually eight. “To be honest, I didn’t think any of you actually listened to what I was saying at the time. I’m surprised you remembered.”
Five shuffles, not exactly wanting to admit he doesn’t remember most of the content but not quite willing to lie to his brother either. “I only remembered bits and pieces. Some names, other shapes. Those three stars that make up that one dude’s belt or something.”
“You didn’t just find some astronomy book?” Luther asks, looking puzzled. He doesn’t look offended at least, that Five didn’t pay that much attention during those lectures so many years ago. To be fair, he’s had plenty of time to come to terms with the idea.
“It felt disloyal.” Five admits after a heartbeat, only half grudgingly. He isn’t exactly the king of heart to hearts, but there is something about Luther that seems to encourage them in him. Even during the stress of the days preceding the apocalypse weighing on him, it had been Luther who Five had told about finding their bodies and who Five had told not to waste his life.
Maybe it was the certain level of kinship between them, both of them trapped in bodies that they did not choose and did not want. Both of them left alone for years on end, having to relearn how to interact with the general populace. Luther was loyal where Five was rebellious, but they had enough common ground between them to be significant.
“Disloyal?” Luther’s tone isn’t quite questionioning, just offering a way for Five to continue his thought where he’d trailed off.
Five’s stomach squirms at the blatant emotion, but it would have to try a lot harder than that to stop him after he’d gotten used to the hollow aching pain of starvation. “I didn’t want to learn the constellations from a book.” He says, and it’s easier to admit to hopes and wishes in the dark with the stars above him. It’s familiar. It’s not Dolores next to him, but Luther isn’t half bad company when he’s by himself. “I wanted to learn them from you, except you weren’t around to ask anymore.”
Now that he’s out of that hellscape, he can half admit to himself that not allowing himself to pick up an astronomy book might have been him giving himself even more incentive to go back and fix things. Not that he needed it but - half of it might have also been a sort of punishment for abandoning his family to whatever fate left them buried in rubble and dead at the end of the world as well. Never let it be said that any of Five’s coping mechanisms were actually healthy.
There’s a silence where Luther mulls that over, before he opens his mouth with a soft expression, “I’m around now.”
It’s an offer and a question rolled into one. It’s not Luther immediately launching into a lecture assuming that’s what Five wants or needs at the moment, it’s him asking, which is an improvement all in itself. If Five was too raw tonight, he would accept that without a question and they could look at the sky in silence together until the dawn came.
The ball is in Five’s court.
“What - what’s the name of the dude with the belt?” Five asks, hesitant and careful and feeling as brittle as the porcelain vases that Reginald decorated the halls with.
Luther’s answering smile is bright and tender enough to hurt.
“His name’s Orion...” Luther explains, and Five closes his eyes and lets Luther’s voice wash over him. When he opens them, it seems like the stars twinkle just a tiny bit brighter than before.
Or that might just be his imagination.
fuck reginald hargreaves all me and my homies hate reginald hargreaves
Umbrella academy season 2
Are we gonna talk about how Reginald Hargreaves is a fucking lizard alien thing or not
Okay I'm gonna say it: If Reginald Hargreaves wasn't such a raging douchecanoe, y'all would be be wanting to fuck him. He'd be a tumblr sexyman. You all know it's true, don't deny it.
𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙼 𝙲𝚄𝙳𝙳𝙻𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙻𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙵𝙵𝙴𝙴 (𝙵.𝙷)
𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃: "Mmm.. you're warm."
𝚁𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙴𝚂𝚃: Number 16 with Five Hargreaves? Thank you xo 💕
𝙰/𝙽: Sorry This is kinda short, and Five is aged up in this too. enjoy~
𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿: 𝙵𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚡 𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚞𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚕!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜
Warmth was never really something that you had. If it were an actual human being, you would not be friends. Ever since Five had told you and his other siblings that there would be an apocalypse, it left you with a cold feeling that followed you around, everywhere you went.
You first met the Hargreeves Siblings when you were all little. You were one of the 43, who were all born on October 1st, 1989. You, however, were not adopted by Sir Reginald Hargreeves. Your parents decided to keep you, despite your ice abilities.
But since you were not properly trained with your powers, your body would stop growing for a little bit, every time you used them. So you would be thirty like the rest of them, but right now you were in your 16 year old body.
"Five, I'm bored." You sat on the floor, staring at all the ice around the room. Five rolled his eyes, "Look, If you want to keep growing then we have to work on your powers." He gave you a pointed look. Sure, you wanted to keep growing but you were extremely tired. You'd been training for hours.
"Can we take a break? Even if it has to be a quick one." You gave him a pleading look. He sighed, "Fine." You grinned and quickly stood up on your sore legs, quickly running out of the room so you could get to your room in the mansion. You needed a shower and a nap. And maybe some food.
You walked out of your bathroom, drying your hair with a towel. You already changed into your pajamas, and you finally felt great and clean. Five was sitting at your desk, muttering a few words to himself. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him, placing a small kiss on his shoulder.
"Five. I need cuddles, stat." You murmured. Five stiffened at your cold touch, "Y/N.. The apocalypse.." He placed his mug down on your desk. You turned his chair around so he can face you.
"The apocalypse can wait. And you look exhausted. So sleep first, before the end of the world." You pulled him out of your chair and tugged him over to your bed, plopping down onto it. Five chuckled at you and laid down beside you, wrapping his arms around your body.
"You're freezing." He muttered, pulling the covers over your body. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, "No shit." You sighed, "Mmm.. you're warm." You let out a small laugh. "Dude, you're like a heater."
Five rolled his eyes at you. "I guess the apocalypse could wait." He whispered, not wanting to wake you up. He then glanced at his mug on your desk, "Fuck. I left my coffee."
Dating the Hargreeves
-You met when one day you were called to the Hargreeve residence
- Your mother was a friend of Reginald and she had asked you to deliver a letter to him.
- On arriving you noticed how empty the place was
- So as Reginald took the letter from you, he told you to come back in ten minuets when he had written the reply
- Thinking he lived alone now, you just wondered about the house, until you bumped into Luther
- After stating your business, he seemed to warm up to you a lot more, even if he was a tad awkward
- You realised that he was just really lonely
- So you invited him for coffee
- He was so shocked all he could do was nod
- The coffee date went well the next day
- It was all going swimmingly, the two of you were good friends but right as you both were realising your feelings were more than just friends
- His dad sent him to the moon
- Pogo let you message him three times a day
- But you still missed him
- You didn’t understand why he couldn’t disobey orders
- But you respected his choice and waited
- For years
-When he finally came back he was slightly more clingy than he was usually and you two quickly became an item
- He was a broken soul who just needed some love
- And attention
- And to believe he didn’t waste four years of his life
- When you two started dating he was basically your own personal teddy bear
- he’s so warm so if you’re cold he would let you cuddle up to him
- he’d be so gentle because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you
- You would constantly be there to remind him to be nice to his siblings
- going stargazing together
- or moon gazing the guy has an obsession
- You would steal his coat and make brilliant impressions of him, much to the joy of Diego and Klaus
-You are defiantly the smart one so Luther would always go to you for advice
- he’s so protective and will glare at any man who looks your way
- which can get a bit annoying but it’s nothing to bad.
- He’s really insecure so you would constantly assure him that he was beautiful the way he was
- Helping Luther see that dear old Dad was not the nicest guy
- Your best friend is 100% Diego though
- Which Luther hates because if you're mad at him, he’s doomed on all fronts
- He buys you chocolate though so you keep him around
- He has a good heart really
-You're both vigilantes of sorts
- You're more like a private investigator plus baddass crime stopper
- Police pay you to solve crimes, and then the government pay you even more money to take out pesky people
- It was kinda fun
- You meet Diego when Patch brings him in
- He overhears what job you’re doing and asks why you’re getting paid doing the same thing he’s getting arrested for
- Patch laughs and tells him that you are more of a private investigator
- You smile, thinking that would shut him up
- But no. He starts calling you Sherlock
- Wearing that stupid smirk as he says it
- Your meetings become more frequent and he always teases you about your job but its nothing more than that
- Until one day he realises you don’t actually have a house, you live in a car
- Because even though your job pays well, you move around a lot and most of you money goes to your sister so she can afford a house, and living with her may but her life at risk
- So he offered the spare bedroom in his apartment
- He assures you he can take care of himself
- So you agree
- And slowly you adjust your life to be with him
- You take turns cooking at first and then it turns into a you cook whilst he cleans because he cannot cook
- And then he takes you on a date
- He’s a shy stuttering mess when he asks you on a date, nothing like the mischievous confident man you'd known
- It was adorable so you said yes
- Things went really well so you guys decided to date
- He is such a cuddler
- Secretly likes being the little spoon, or sleeping on your stomach because it makes him feel safe
- But also likes being the big spoon because he likes to feel like he’s protecting you
- You’re probably the cook as he can only make eggs
- And even tho “They’re great eggs Y/N,” they’re “Not a balanced diet Diego,”
- Patching him up when he’s on his nightly hero duty things
- If you have work in the morning you will leave cute notes around the house for him to wake up to, and he does the same for you when he works
- When he grows his hair out he secretly lets you braid it as long as you tell no one.
- Until Klaus find’s out and gets you to braid his hair too
- He cannot say no to you, so gets through the day of relentless teasing by his siblings when you painted his nails
- It was worth it to see you smile
- Full on shouting at Reginald at the dinner table when he upset Diego because HOW DARE HE make your boyfriend stutter like that
- The other siblings looking at you in shock because you were the calm and reasonable one
- He wouldn’t really get jealous because he trusted you, but can’t resist showing off the fact you’re his girlfriend when someone starts to flirt with you
- Okay maybe he is jealous
- For some reason you are immune to her power
- You found this out when Reginald tried to forcefully recruit you to the academy when you were fifteen, using her power and you just responded “I don’t know where you heard that sunshine.” before merrily skipping off.
- She was shook
- The two of you started meeting at Griddy’s donuts
- At first she wanted to know how you managed to get away
- But eventually she started to like you
- You were sassy and smart and didn’t put up with her shit
- This is probably why Five adored you so much - you two became best friends
- She always held your hand and often kissed it softly if you were deep in thought
- You taught her how to get people to do what you say without using her power
- Which meant you guys left with a lot of free stuff
- She always loved to show you off, PDA was something she had no problem with
- Much to the disgust of some of the siblings
- Being in the 60′s as a lesbian couple was difficult
- So you pretended to be cousins
- which was weird for both of you
- She would constantly buy extravagant gifts for you, especially when she had the money
- Despite the fact that in public you seem like the one in charge, she is 100% the big spoon
- She likes the feeling of feeling truly needed
- You meet in the war, you’re the bar tender that introduced him to Dave
- The talk he had with you was very brief but he remembered your face
- So years later, when he went back to that same Bar once he got back from the past he was shocked to see you serving people having not aged a day
- At first he thought you just has really good genes you had passed on but you were identical to the way he remembered you
- The he thought he was seeing your ghost but he saw that you were interacting with others
- So he called you over
- You didn't seem shocked to see him but pleasantly surprised
- You explained that you had gotten in a bit of a pickle as you were picking up a suitcase from the commission so you could retire but Five blew the place up causing the suitcase to malfunction
- So you were stuck in a warzone until you figured out how to fix the case
- You also told Klaus to give his brother a slap when he next saw him
- He did, but Five was very pleased to see you as you were a good friend to him and knew how to help
- Anyways after a couple of soft drinks you and Klaus got to know each other better
- And after a while the two of you became an item and life just got better
Helping him remain sober
- Cuddles all the time because he is needy
- you guys shared clothes because neither if you give a fuck
- You show him other ways to get high without damaging his body
- like taking him skydiving or to a theme park
- you always listen to him
- And will shout at the siblings when they undermine Klaus
- You keep the ghosts at bay, and will often hold him when he sleeps so stop any nightmares
- However neither of you can cook
- which leads to you waltzing off to Allison’s house at three in the morning because she can cook
- She doesn’t mind though because she’s never seen her brother this happy when hes sober
- You are best friends with Ben, and can also see and hear him so like to talk shit about Klaus when he’s in the room
- He is a pro at forehead kisses
- He’ll wrap you in his arms and just lightly kiss your forehead
- Because you make him feel safe, so he returns the favour
- You worked with the commission as an assassin and after a few weeks of Five being there, he was told that you would be his partner
- He was a little annoyed because that would mean he wouldn’t be able to work on the apocalypse on the job in case you told on him
- Then he met you and you were nothing like he expected
- He’d seen you train, seen you kill five men whilst barely moving and go after the most dangerous of people
- So why were you so nice?
-You were like a little ball of sunshine and he was Mr grumpy
- When you were informed that he had been alone for 45 years, Five thought you’d run away from him, scared that you were friends with a madman
- But instead you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist
- At first he didn’t know how to respond but then he hugged you back
- And then you two became inseparable
- He wasn’t much into PDA especially when you got back to the Hargreaves siblings
- He didn’t want to be bullied
-But you loved affection
-So he compromised and the two of you would subtly lock pinkies
-But that was it
-Until you were alone
- He needed coaxing at first because he’s socially awkward
- But he loves to be cuddled. He loves laying on your stomach, or holding you against his chest or wrapping his arms around your waist
- He’s a sucker for when you run your hands through his hair
- It makes him w e a k
-When he’s working you’ll sit on his lap
- Because you want attention and he overworks himself
- You constantly look after him, making sure he drinks water and shit
- Because you cannot run on coffee alone
- The siblings become suspicious when they catch Five staring at you
- So they decided to spy on him
- And whilst they spied, they saw their mardy little brother dancing (Rather gracefully) around the Kitchen with you, both laughing as if there was no one else there
- Which tbf they didn’t think there was
- “They could just be working a case?” suggested Luther
- But that was quickly brushed aside when Five kissed you
- “Turns out the Hargreaves are capable of Love,” was all Klaus said although they were secretly thrilled at the fact you and Five were together.
- You were just a small town waitress
- Working another long shift at your work, you saw two men come in, one rather skinny and hippie looking, and the other dressed in all black
- You’re a naturally sweet person so serving them with a smile wasn’t a problem
- But when you asked Ben what he wanted he just froze in shock
- After some explaining you decided to let the two guys stay at your apartment for a while, as they were lost anyway
- You all became super super close
- You helped Klaus become sober again
- And then you realised that not only could you see Ben, but you could make him physically there just by touching him
- You learnt this when you accidentally ran into him nearly knocking yourself out
- The Klaus was no longer the clingy one
-Ben was always touching you, not in a weird way just always brushing hands or wrapping himself around you
- He loved cuddles, just feeling warm for once
- He’d cuddle you no matter what, and if you had a tiring day at work he would be there to sweep you off your feet
- you made him feel alive again
- When he was touching you others could see him too
- which meant you automatically became the family favourite, after you helped Klaus, and then Ben
- Ben loves it when you read to him, it just calms him down
- His favourite thing to do is to sit in the park with you sat between his legs, lent against his chest listening to you read
- He wears the flower crowns you make with pride
- It takes ages to figure out why you can see him and make him real as you were actually a couple months younger than him
- Turns out you had died as a baby for exactly 108 seconds and that had left you with ties to both the physical world and the afterlife - and it was Mr Reginald Hargreeves who had saved you
- You were convinced he was an alien but the others disagreed
- You helped Ben not fear his power
- The guy is king of nose kisses. He just finds it really cute when you scrunch your nose, either in disgust or frustration or confusion
- You always kiss jawline, as if you’re snuggled together it’s often the only place you can reach
- Vanya is your best friend, you always invite her because she understands what it’s like to not know the extent of your own power
- Klaus is scared at first because he doesn’t want Ben to leave him although he would never admit it
- But then he realised he hadn’t lost a constant companion, he’d just gained another
- Ben loves to surprise you with cute simple things, like setting up a movie and hot chocolate, or picking out flowers he found at some point for you
- Dancing round the kitchen would be a daily thing
- You even got Five to join in
- You make the best waffles so every morning all the siblings come to your house just to eat the waffles you make
- It’s like they are a family again, but this time they have you
- She’s a bit iffy with personal contact
- It makes her a little nervous
- But you’re okay with that, she shows her love in other ways
- Like she’ll always make you tea in the mornings, or make sure you’re under the blanket before she sleeps because she knows you get cold
- You meet for the first time when you’re kids. The other siblings are saving everybody and ask you to stand with the others, because to them you’re just a civilian
- But when things start to go sideways, it’s you who helps them, using your powers of mental manipulation to make the bad guys visualise their worst fear
- Sir Hargreeves takes you in immediately, adopting you as Number Eight.
-The other kids felt bad for you when Reginald left you on your own, and it was Klaus who spoke
-”He’s not a good parent, he isn’t really here at all so I’m sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting,” but you were happy
“My real dad gave me this scar when he tried to stab me,” you replied with a little laugh “Ill take yours any day,”
-After that you and Vanya bonded over the fact you were both the black sheep of the family
- You always made sure she was included, and felt a bit bad that you weren’t a sibling but were often invited to more places than her
- During your teenage years you and Vanya clearly had something going on, so Reginald sent you away to France to study your powers
- It wasn’t until his death did you two see each other again
- It felt like you had never really left and things kicked off again
- But the Harold came along and told Vanya you were just as bad as the rest
- So she abandoned you
- You meet for the third time in the 60′s, you’re staying with a married couple and their disabled son
- Vanya recognises you but she doesn’t know where from which breaks your heart slightly but it’s okay
- Because the more she spends time with you the more she falls in love with you
- She finally asks you to be her girlfriend
- Which you say yes
- Although she’s not big on affection, she loves it when you lay in her lap, it makes her feel trusted
- She loves to play the violin for you
- When she starts to grow used to affection, she loves it when you sleep all curled up beside her like a cat
- Or when you play with her hair
- Or kiss her cheek
- You make her feel like she’s valid and that’s all she ever wanted
I can't believe that Reginald was an actual dad to Pogo but when Pogo gets older he just turns him into his butler, he literally made his son his butler I fucking hate Reginald Hargreaves so much
A thing I just now noticed: Reginald looks at all the sibling (except Ben) and is like "you are all severely psychologically damaged but five is the least therefore I'll talk to him". now, isn't it interesting how someone who spent 45 years alone is THE LEAST psychologically damaged?? Because five spend the least amount of time without Reginald?? Like I'm sorry but Reginald recognise that the siblings are fucked and doesn't want anything to do with them and he's the one who fucked them up!!!!
That is all to say fuck Reginald Hargreaves. I'm appalled.
Reasons why season 3 is gonna be painful:
- The og Hargreaves have to deal with an alive Reginald and the fact that he unadopted them
- The hargreaves most likely being homeless bc i doubt Reggie will let them stay if he put all the effort into adopting seperate children
- Ben being alive but not remembering any of them
- Clare not being born in this timeline and therefore Alison loosing two very important people in her life bc of time travel
- Eudora being alive
- Fucking Leonard being alive (Vanya is def gonna react badly)
- Grace not being alive or not remembering them (imagine Diegos reaction)
- Pogo not remembering them also and Vanyas guilt of killing him last time
- Dave probably being alive but old and still not remembering his relationship with Klaus
- Klaus not having Ben anymore and really mourning him for the first time
- Five processing having just seen his siblings die three (3) times now the last time being literally in front of them
- Since i don’t think theres gonna be another apocalypse this is probably the first time that Five actually is safe without a threat or a job to do so hes probably gonna have to process everything hes been through (with his childhood, the apocalypses, seeing his family dead three times, the commission...)
Umbrella Academy is so fucked up
Like it's about these five (six? Seven?) kids who were so super traumatized by their upbringing but then like
Ok so Reginald Hargreaves abuse mainly stemmed from from the fact that he didn't treat the kids as autonomous, complete, fully formed humans. He only cared about how they related to him, what they could do for him, how they could use them
And Allison does not do the same thing to her daughter but
She doesn't view her child as an autonomous, complete human being
And no one talks about it! No one says that's what going on!
Okay so, quick check in at the end of TUA season 2.
- The timeline is shit
- Lila deserves better
- Reginald = alien
- Ben fucking dies
- What the fuck happened to old Five
- *Sparrow Academy exists*
- Reginald is alien
- If they in 2019 again why is the sparrow academy children
- oh shit Harland make spARROW GO FLOAT
- HOLY SHIT IS HIS TOY A SPARROW
- SPARROW ACADEMY
- REGINALD FUCKING HARGREAVES IS AN ALIEN WHAT THE FUCK
- DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ADVANCED ROCKETS ALIEN REGINALD HARGREVES
anyway, the sun is rising and I’m doing great
That's Reginald Hargreaves.
Holy fuck ur right
So let’s track Reginald Hargreeves life bc I need some clarification
We start in the middle I guess.
- he is with his wife in her deathbed, she tells him to go (there are rocket ships leaving the planet)
- she then proceeds to die, and Reggie goes to the window and releases lights from a jar (I wanna know if this is what creates the children but I’m not sure
- We then find out she asked him to take her violin with him and give it to someone who will appreciate it
That’s all we know about him on his home planet.
- Next, he travels to earth. We don’t know if it’s both space and time travel, or maybe the speed of light caused time to travel backward when he traveled to earth? He seemed to land in the 1800s (??)
- He states his name as Reginald Hargreeves and stumbles across an Umbrella Factory I.e the future name (and location) for the Umbrella Academy
We fast forward in time, with an immortal (?) Reggie (though it could be that he ages as an alien but his human suit never does. He could also maybe not age or age super slowly when compared to humans) also what made him such an asshole like damn.
Ok now we’re in the 1960s
- he is that secret 12 illuminati type group. His main interest is the Dark Side of the Moon.
- so i don’t know if he knows human history or not bc if he knew about human history he would have known how to send a human into space but instead he had to call up Grace, who seemed to specialize in primates. Though he does have a serum that gave Pogo a more advanced brain/body?
- question: so he knew about the moon in 2019 but what did he know?? Did he know Vanya was going to be the bomb? Or did he just know that the moon was going to explode and destroy earth bc no aliens would have known Vanya was going to blow up the moon. Which makes more sense, now that I think about it. He knows earth events from an aliens perspective. So something from the timeline after the destruction of earth fucks up his planet. Also when is the commission?? I know they have all the time they want but are they really in a bubble in the space time or are they so far in the future that time has become something that they can control?
Moving on from that brain spiral
- obviously in the original timeline, everything goes as planned
- Grace dies between the 1960s and 1989 bc the children only know her as a robot
- Pogo keeps learning and growing as well
- Reggie is a millionaire and continues to be one the 12 (I’m not sure about this bc the timeline has fucked up we don’t know if he as meant to kill the other 11 or if that happened bc the kids fucked up this new universe. I hate parallel and alternate universes bc you can never fix it or go back bc it’s now it’s own separate strand of a universe)
Zoom past into 1989
- 43 kids are born to mothers who were not pregnant the morning of October 1st. Reggie goes on a shopping spree but it’s not succeeds in getting 7 of them.
- he raise them as trainees with the help of Robot Grace and Pogo
- he numbers them ranking from lowest in power Number 1 to Number 7 before having to mute Number 7 because he could not control her or her power like he could the rest of the children
- he ostracized Vanya, unwittingly causing her to become the bomb at the future date (oh fuck what if Vanya wasn’t the original reason why the moon crashed into earth?? Time travel is so confusing.)
- anyways he raise his children and fucks up perfectly good children.
- Number 5 thinks he knows his powers, and Reggie tells him no, unwittingly pushing Five to over use his powers and get stuck in the future after the apocalypse. Five is now lost in the time line
- Ben dies during a mission, breaking up the team and turns the children against Reggie even more when he blames them for Bens death. They are 17 here
- once they can they move away from their abusive dad leaving Reggie with only Number 1, who follows his dad to tee to shuck off the abuse he felt. Which is even more sad when Reggie sees that coping mechanism as a failure.
- Luther goes on a mission alone, gets injured and Reggie has to inject him with the same stuff he injected Pogo (is that the only thing he knows? Is it from his alien culture??)
- Once Reggie can tell Luther isn’t reacting well to the unwanted body modification, he sends Luther to the moon to both give him a purpose and to not have to deal with having to help Luther work through his pain (like fuck Reggie)
This is where stuff gets hazy. The children lead their own lives and Reggie is alone with Pogo and Robot Grace again for 4 years (the length of time Luther is on the moon)
- 10 days from the apocalypse Reggie kills himself to get the children to all come back home and help avoid the apocalypse (the kids are 30)
- He doesn’t know about Number 5 tho, who is able to jump back just in time, before the apocalypse begins
And that’s where The Umbrella Academy begins
So what are the questions we have about Reggie?
1. Did Reggie create the 43 kids somehow? Was it in the alien news and he just knew when they’d be born? What did he do that could have caused them. Basically what is the origin of the children.
2. What is reggies knowledge of human events. He honestly seemed surprised that they killed JFK so he didn’t know about The JFK assassination. And yet he knew about the apocalypse so maybe he just new human events that affected the galaxy? Or is it that he is from earth but after humanity has been destroyed and aliens took over? The possibilities
3. What happened to Grace? She obviously stayed with him in the past and died before the kids were born, but what happened? And did Reggie really care for her or just her brain? He didn’t seem to care all that much from Robot Grace since he didn’t even give her a room. Was Reggie even able to love anyone after his wife died or is it because he’s an alien that humans seem like puny mortals to him.
4. What made him leave his planet? Is he a scientist looking for something? Is he trying to also fix a timeline? What is the reason he came to earth and why did he feel the need to create the Umbrella Academy?
5. Why the fuck is Reggie such an asshole. Not a real question because he’s just the most asshole person of an alien, but what the fuck.
The commission never fucking stopped him. The commission must have known about Reggie but they didn’t do anything. Obviously they knew about the real apocalypse since they tried to keep 5 from changing the future and yet Reginald when back in time and live through a freaking century and the Commission didn’t do anything. Obviously he fucked up this timeline yet with just his presence but what the hell, Commission. I mean we hate you guys but what do you know that we don’t. Like is Reggie part of the commission? Are they using him to get what they want? What exactly does Reginald know why do fuck are storylines and timelines so hard when time travel is involved. Bc just this here has hundreds of possible timelines that you can just narrow it down and you only get more questions. Ie
Is there a timeline that the apocalypse happened and Reginald wasn’t involved
Then a timeline where reginal goes back and creates the umbrella academy
Another timeline with other children
A timeline where 5 never got lost
A timeline where 6 never died
Two different timelines where one happened and not the other and vice versa
A timeline that I’ll never believe of Reginald being a decent person
A timeline in The Day That Never Was, where Vanya found out on her own and Allison never got her neck slit.
A timeline where the siblings actually helped Vanya
The new timeline of the Hargreaves in the 1960s
A brand new timeline of the world after the Hargreeves interfered then left then came back in 2019, which is where we are now, with a new Sparrow Academy, a not dead Reginald and a not dead Ben. Also shit, Grace never stayed with Reginald so those children may not have had a decent mother figures they might even be more fucked up than the original 7 (or 6 bc Ben is sweetheart with sass)
Reginald Hargreaves really had one (1) dinner with the umbrella academy and said fuck them kids, then went out and got a whole new set... ☠️😷🧐
Au where everything is the exact same except there are fans called Monoculers and they ship Reginald X mr. Monocule, it's the fucking onceler thing but with reginald Hargreaves.
Having the ability to control the weather would include...
Drabble: “Being one of the children Reginald didn't adopt and having the power to control the weather. Dating Five and being best friends with Vanya, and being there for her when Five comes back.”
Pairing: Five Hargreeves x teenage!Reader, Vanya Hargreaves x platonic!reader
you knew you were one of the kids that had been born been with special abilities
and yet in Reginald’s eyes you were “special enough”
you didn’t mind
you felt free at your own home, your parents only encouraging you to practice your abilities and to expand on what you could do; control the weather
the only thing you did mind was not meeting the others
of course, you had moved to live only a block away from them
it was Vanya who you met first
you heard her practicing one evening, and the sound was enticing
you used your powers to have the wind carry you to her window, your eyes fogged over like a grey storm-clouded
she was frightened at first when she saw someone in front of her window; but what made her really interested was that her window was placed on the second floor
you had no trouble introducing yourself, a wide smile on your lips as you held your hand out
“I’m y/n, you’re really good at that by the way.”
“thanks, I’m Vanya.” she was flustered to say the least, but excited nonetheless. “how can you do that?”
you explained to her what had been happening in your life; how you were basically twins but from different families, that Reginald had rejected you, and of course, your powers
she was in complete awe with you
so naturally, she confided Allison
one-by-one you met the rest of the hargreeves siblings
each one had distinct personalities, and while some were a bit much, causing you to clash, others were intriguing, like Five
at first he treated you the same as some of his siblings; like you were a complete moron and had no idea what you were doing
it didn’t take long for you to prove him wrong though
afternoon months and months of him egging you on, you had enough
one comment left your blood boiling, so naturally your eyes clouded over as you held your palm out towards him
each of the siblings watched in awe as a cumulonimbus formed aboves Five’s head, a lighting bolt striking the ground besides him before a clap of thunder shook the halls of the house
luck was on your side that day, as Reginald was out of the house
Five, however, was not so lucky
his uniform was instantly soaked as rain pelted his skin
the previously sunny sky had reflected your angers mood, dark clouded and heavy rain pouring down on the city
they all looked to you with wide eyes, and before you turned to walk away another lightning bolt strikes the other side of Five, this time he jumped away before another clap of thunder followed
he apologized pretty quickly after that
the siblings pretty much praised you after that
Vanya found herself becoming quick and close friends with you; the two of you did pretty much everything together whenever Reginald wasn’t around
and believe it or not, you and Five become a thing
well, as close to a thing as thirteen year olds could get
but then things all went to shit
one day he was there, and the next he wasn’t
Vanya explained what had happened, how he had ran off during supper time and never came back
you couldn’t help the tears that flowed down your cheeks at her revelation
but you found yourself believing that he would come back, that he would return and all would be well again
he didn’t, until years later
your abilities had fully matured by now, as had you and the rest of the Hargreeves siblings
you drifted apart though, aside from Vanya
you kept in touch with her, wanting to know how her teaching went and whether or not she had made first chair
you were her comfort when Five had first left, and her for you
you three were almost insperabile, yet when Five disappeared, that was proven wrong
everything was finally good again
until he came back
you had convinced yourself that he had somehow passed away, and that you were over his boyish charms
but when you received a call from Vanya, her trembling voice stating that Five had come back, you froze
“w-what do you mean h-he’s back?” Thunder rumbled outside as your heart began to ache. The rain that was already falling only grew worse as your emotions ran wild
“he’s just.. he’s back.”
it took you no time at all to run to the hargreeves place, the doors slamming behind you and you shoes sliding underneath your as the ground grew slick with rain
by the time you made it to the kitchen you were out of breath, eyes wide
“where is he?”
your hands shook as the siblings all stepped aside, the familiar green eyes locking with yours as you froze
“i-it can’t be.”
he looked the same as he had when he left; dark hair parted cleanly down the side, his uniform still intact
he had a sandwich halfway shoved into his mouth, and it seemed he recognized you almost instantaneously before he dropped it on to a plate in shock
“you’re still here?!”
“of course I am you asshole!”
you reached forward to brush your fingers over his hair, the soft strands gliding through your fingers easily before you narrowed your eyes
“where the fuck did you go?”
your hands grasped his young cheeks as you glared at him, another clap of thunder shaking the walls as your eyes clouded over with emotion
he wasn’t expecting you to pull him close, your arms wrapping around his small frame as you brought him towards you
“you scared the shit out of me.”
you stemmed the flow of tears by squeezing your eyes shut
yet a small sniffle could be heard when five wrapped his arms around you as well, his hands patting your back
“well I’m back. that’s all that matters.”
“yeah, yeah you’re back.”
POWERPUFF GIRLS LIVE ACTION CURSED REBOOT PREDICTIONS CAUSE IM MCPISSED
The shows gonna be called Townsville cause why the fuck not were all ready ripping off Riverdale
The writing will try to resemble umbrella academy but it will most likely be riverdale bad
There gonna sexualize the hell out of the girls (specifically buttercup, blossom, and even princess)
They’ll change blossom and buttercups race while keeping bubbles skin tone the same (who knows why???)
The girls are either gonna be fully human or will be CGI uncanny valley hideous that will rival cats.
Blossoms gonna be a #type-A-Girl-boss who’s also a terf.
Bubbles is a airheaded social media influencer who only cares about her diet and her follower count. (10 bucks says she’ll have a YouTuber apology video in the show)
Buttercup will be a drug addicted vigilante who will suffer the most abuse.(will probably be assaulted for shock value)
There gonna make the professor an abusive father like Reginald Hargreaves. (Or even worse)
There either gonna give buttercup a forced straight romance (with either butch or Mitch) or give her a lesbian gf only to get killed off in the finale.
Bubbles will go through a dark Betty like arc that will amount to nothing until the finale
Mojo JoJo will have Cats-level CGI in the show, though the CGI will be awful in general
Either HIM will be removed due to being offensive or he’ll be the gay stereotype that will say tea and sis every 10 seconds
The fight choreography will be bad.
The rowdy ruff boys will be the love interests in the series and will have a shitty redemption arc
Princess will be a carbon copy of Cheryl from riverdale, including the shitty dialogue.
Townsville will be like citiesburg in the episode town and out.
Ms.Bellum will be the mayor, but will provide nothing to the show or will actively antagonize the girls for no goddamn reason
Everyone will curse, even the talking dog.
Someone will have a tik tok.