#fuck my birthday

[thebroken--soul]

My birthday is canceled because I don’t have a ticket for Adele in Munich because I’m poor and without friends.

#birthday is canceled #fuck my birthday #adele #Adele in Munich #concert #about me #personal

[misfit-among-the-angels]

🙃

#🙃🙃🙃 #fuck my birthday #i just want to disappear #personal

[lucifinaspissed]

Cheers to 33 years of..... existing. *deflating balloon noise*

#fuck my birthday #worse every year #personal

[moonjuice-blog]

#i can’t stop crying #fuck my birthday

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

[the-plant-queenx]

I’d love to just rot in bed for the rest of this year. Can’t process anymore emotions byeeee

#fuck my birthday #fuck everything

[aru-art]

sourdough rolls with homemade lemon curd what the absolute fuck man

#words cannot describe the meltdown i had over this episode #i'll be back with more art of him later #the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmagp episode 8 #gerry keay #gerry delano #secret 3rd option fucking. gerry robinson? #gerard keay #the magnus archives #tma #my art #2024 #gertrude robinson #sorry GIGI ROBINSON #GEEGEE? #best birthday present cheers alex and jonny now i hope we never hear from him again and he remains plot irrelevant and free 4ever

[aromanticduck]

Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)

If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!

[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]

#polls #birthdays #ageing #milestones #organic home grown content #for me (28) while there's an element of 'where the fuck did the time go?' #30 sounds all right. even kind of nice #you're still on the younger side of adulthood but you're no longer one of those 'barely an adult' new adults #although some people might feel that change at 25 #i feel like 40 is gonna be harder to deal with. that still feels like the age people's parents are #though it might look different once i'm in my 30s #100 tier #1000 tier #suicide mention

[artschoolglasses]

Americans not giving a shit about the wildfires burning down forests and homes in Canada until smoke starts spreading across the border. Meanwhile Indigenous communities across the country are far more likely to be impacted by the fires and I’ve seen all of one link to a charity and about nine million memes. 🙃

#yeah yeah hashtag notallamericans or whatever the fuck #I’m just irritated watching people whine or centre themselves #like sorry your clothes smell like smoke gladys but people have lost their fucking homes #and the government does fuck all for indigenous communities #so you know who’s gonna end up getting more aid #but sure brad can’t go out for his usual morning jog because of the canadians #also all these fucking news articles making ir about america as if canada has somehow done this on purpose out of spite #someone buy me a punching bag for my birthday thanks #artschoolrambles

[lesbianballofgender]

Happy 55th birthday to our feral, light and fluffy, serious actor and truly just the nicest person: Michael Sheen!!

#michael sheen #happy birthday Michael #truly one of a kind #michael sheen is my favourite actor #He’s such a nice man and I hope he has an incredible birthday #I will tag good omens bc I can do what I like #you all must witness and appreciate the birthday boy #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #david tennant #aziracrow #miles maitland #roland blum #thorne jamison #this sunshine of a man #an Angel #michael light and fluffy sheen #michael fucking sheen #michael serious actor sheen #welsh seduction machine

[moghedien]

#FUCK IT ITS MIDNIGHT MY TIME HAPPY BIRTHDAY USAGI #CELEBRATE OR GET HIT #sailor moon #usagi tsukino

[lotus-pear]

lore accurate chuuya canonically drives a 2006 sparkly barbie motorcycle

#for the love of god someone pls take away my artist privileges #this came to me in a fever dream except i wasn't actually sick just delusional #the pink leather jacket was a gift from kouyou for his sixteenth birthday and he's obliged to wear it everytime he takes the motorcycle out #dazai finds it absolutely fucking hilarious and probably takes blackmail photos except you can't blackmail a bad bitch like chuuya so #every time you open his photos he's probably the only one getting embarrassed bc it's all pics of his partner👹 #anyway he looks so bbygirl in pink i wish he changed his outfit for smth other than official art #but alas #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #lotus draws

[delzinrowe]

happy birthday to the bestest boy (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

#ipost #Jujutsu Kaisen #JJK #dailyanime #anisource #shounenedit #jjkedit #hyeahjujutsu #Itadori Yuji #Itadori #Yuji #HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUJI ITADORI #he's the absolute bestest boy alive #he deserves so much #gosh i love him with all my heart #i'm crying #gege when I fucking catch you gege

[mr-malumm]

Happy Val Day theyre in love with each other i like when the tall scary one throws the tv around 😍🥰😍🥰😍✨📺🦋✨

#kiss the tv moth man #vox being a good dancer sends me into orbit i love when hes good at something #you cant tell me that valentines day osnt vals birthday #old man yaoi or whatever #voxval #staticmoth #i fell for the fucking tv #hazbin art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin valentino #hazbin vox #vox #valentino #the vees #my art

[ursamajori]

god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow

#starspeak #get obnoxious (oc tag) #ttrpgs #my campaigns #edit: everything after these tags are from the og post— they’re just kinda me ranting but i don’t wanna get rid of them #due to the fact that it adds how fucking funny it is that this post got popular and it was just. me rambeling #anyways. #-> #literally guy who gave their character a whole birthday week and is celebrating him that whole week #like girl he’s fake……..just kidding cas is real To Me #this is fully positive there is NO self deprecation here i’m being dead serious #also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work #and i’m already sick so it’s gonna be downhill from here 🥲 #casboy’s gotta get me through it ok #not Sick sick i just don’t feel well. at least tmrw is my day off i probably need Rest #oops didn’t mean to rant a bit here but oh well. happy birthday week cas

[anastasiabowe]

𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙈𝙀 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆 𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝘽𝘼𝘽𝙔 𝘿𝘼𝘿! — Your boyfriend’s baby mama keep trying to get him back, so you gotta show her how you fuck her baby dad..

Note: I do not condone ANY content that is sent to your partners ex.. but if it’s Choso, it’s Choso so enjoy! (Also isn’t proofread so Ntm)

Content Warnings: SWEARING, piv, unprotected sex, recording of intimacy, hair pulling, revenge on ex, sharing 18+ content, mention of Choso having a child (not in any 18+ moments.) , MINORS JUST GO AWAY thank you!

“Fuck me.” Choso cursed to himself. You were in the kitchen washing your breakfast dishes. You looked over your shoulder to see him rub his forehead in what seems to be stress.

“Everything alright?” You dried your hands on the towel, and made your way to him. You wrap your arms around him, letting his ease into your warm arms.

“Just my ex..” he looked up at you, showing his phone. They one thing you appreciated about him is how honest he is. He always shows you his phone, and it’s almost comforting to know he has nothing to hide from you.

You grabbed his phone, and he stared at your face as you read the messages.

Jenny

11:40am

J: “Been thinking about you lately Cho..”

C: “I haven’t. What do you want, Jenny? Is something wrong with Mani?”

J: “nah, just been missing you.. can I do that?”

C: “I’ve told you to only contact me if it’s about Mani. If it isn’t, I’m done talking to you.”

J: “Cho, please, I miss you, I miss your smile. Why can’t I ever see you again? Like we only see each other when you come to pick up mani or I drop him off.”

Seen

“I’m going to beat her ass.” You pushed his phone back into his hands, and made your way to the front door only for Choso to grab your wrist.

“What?”

“Who the fuck does she is calling you ‘Cho’ like that?”

“Well don’t go beating her ass, she’s with mani right now.”

“Well what else can I do, this the 7th fucking time she coming out with these messages.”

Choso looked around in thought until a smirk appeared on his face.

“I got an idea.”

-

-

-

“F-fuck!” Choso had both of your arms wrapped behind your back as he slammed his hips into your ass. He held your phone in his hand as he recorded you moaning out his name.

“Come on baby, who’s dick making you like this?”

“Y-yours!” You squealed when he readjusted, pushing the cold phone into your lower back, and stopping his movements. He soon picked up the pace again and it felt more than amazing.

Choso leaned on your back, bringing he camera around to face your messy face. Your head was half hurried in the comforter and your hands were gripping the sheets.

“Come on baby, we want to see your face!” Choso grabbed your hair, and you smiled as you stared into the camera, eyes threatening to roll back into your head.

“Good girl, doing so good for me.” Choso dropped the camera onto the bed, and swiftly turned you over, dick still inside.

“Gotta see your pretty face for real.” He picked up the camera and recorded how your cunt sucked him in every time he pulled out and pushed in.

The sight was more than unholy, it was obscene, but it only turned you on to know that this will be on your phone for you to see, and this would be the video showing how you fuck her baby dad.

You smiled at the thought of her thinking about the video everytime she even opens his contact.

“What’s got you so smiley?” Choso I’m assuming ended the video and tossed your phone next to your head. He then leaned in closer, chest to chest, and kissed your wet lips.

“Just thinking.” You giggled. He smiled, and deepened his thrusts. He pulled back, and brought your legs up into his shoulders. He then pounded harder into you, still having a smile of love and passion on his face.

“O-ooh Cho! S-shit slow down!” You cried as he kissed your ankle. Your stomach filled with butterfly’s as you felt your high coming quick.

“I’m gonna cum, Cho, I’m gonna cum!” He laughed, and leaned down to kiss you.

“Cum for me.” Those words made you let out a cry of pleasure as you came. Choso continued to rut and kiss you through it, and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“F-fuck baby, where d’you wan’ it?” Choso noted, waiting for your response.

“Inside!” You moaned, and Choso bit your ankle to stop himself from making any loud noises. He let out whimpers, and you smiled feeling him relax.

Choso quickly grabbed your phone, and swiped to the camera and pressed record. He slowly pulled out, and his cum mixed with yours flowed out.

Choso chuckled at the masterpiece you and him made.

“Look at that shit,” Choso scooped some of it up and pushed it back inside. “Keep it all in baby, tryna get you pregnant.”

Those words made your stomach flutter from the mere thought of having his kid. Everything about this was so filthy yet so thrilling, and you couldn’t wait to get that positive pregnancy test.

Choso then tossed your phone down onto a pile of clothes on the floor, and kissed you.

“You’d like that huh?” He pinched your side and you let out a laugh. He knew you’d like that very much.

-

-

-

You were sound asleep when Choso opened your phone and sent the video to himself. He then sent that video to Jenny, making sure she knows who he really wanted.

Not even 5 minutes later, Jenny sent a message that made Choso laugh a little to loud.

J: “You guys are so fucking disgusting, I hope you choke on your fucking ego. I don’t want to see your face ever again, you fucking cunt.”

What made that funny was he had to see her in not even 8 hours when he has to pick up his son from her house. This will be a fun exchange.

#choso smut #choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso kamo smut #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso x female reader #our ​Choso #Choso needs to hop in my bed and fuck me to sleep #and I am not okay so get me a Choso for my birthday #September 1st #MARK YOUR CALENDERS!! #anyways #I hope you liked my writing #MAKE SURE TO REQUEST #REQUESTS ARE OPEN #I WILL EVENTUALLY GET TO REQUESTS