#fuck stunt dogs

[larrywerelastseeninthesameroom]

How long has it been since Louis and Harry were last seen in the same place at the same time?

Two thousand, five hundred (that’s 2,500!) days

#larry stylinson #it's literally ending #it's larrie year #fuck babygate #end it #*** ** #bg #babygate #fuck timeandspacegate #fuck stunt dogs #larry being loud in 2023 #fuck sevenyearold gate

[dentalhoney]

Me, trying to figure out Fyodor's fucking ability:

It's gotta be that like when someone commits the "crime" of fatally injuring him, that they are transferred the injury and position of Fyodor to themselves in "punishment."

But even with Dazai going on about how the "touch to kill" thing was a ruse, I mean that theory makes sense for the guards but I don't know if I buy that for when he killed Karma???? Am I remembering that wrong???

#bsd spoilers #bungo stray dogs spoilers #bungo stray dogs #I don't know dude I don't fucking keep track of shit in this bullshit manga #I just live my life fucking confused #but like if he had the means to pull off the blood bullet stunt with Karma during that whole thing #why would he not have done that with Ace instead of spending all that time manipulating Ace into hanging himself??? #because I don't really remember him getting any info from Ace that he didn't like...already fucking have anyway

[vosquitransitis]

stupid idiot pissbaby likes being in the trunk only if I'm not on the goddamn autobahn. literally the second i got on it he went "hmmm parkour" and climbed up into the backseat you stupid idiot.

#thats so fucking scary #heeho my fucking huge ass 25 kg dog is just wandering around the fucking car while i go 140 km/h and have limited possibilities of just #pulling over somewhere as if hes determined to kill us all jesus i hate him #(i love him but that was a traumatic incident aktually) #its not an issue when we're not on the autobahn?? he has never attempted a stunt like that before #for context #this was the first time of me driving in my tiny car on the autobahn with him in it usually their both in a cage but that doesn't fit in my #car because its big and my car is not especially not the trunk #anyway. *drives onto autobahn just to immediately take the next exit because i need a place to secure the maniac dog climbing around in my #fucking car* #vosqui.txt

[warren-keplers-funk-band]

unparalleled levels of insanity coursing through my veins. i am trembling i am sweating i feel like i'm going to explode. going absolutely crazy

and i'm just watching buck begins. i'm just watching an episode of 9-1-1 like-

help???

#goddamn HIMBOS #these goddamn fucking secretly insecure playboy self-sacrificial dumbass golden retriever himbos #all he wants is to be sEEN #i'm #quite literally not okay #i see oliver starks stupid little puppy dog face when i close my eyes #i'm so insane about all his stupid stunts going back to his childhood #the motorbike??? #i'm crazy #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #911

[alilaro]

not me giving into the autistic trauma-ridden call that is Bluey

#bluey #fuck..... the autistics were right this show fucks #*disclaimer i am also an Autism #LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN #its a cute emotionally-mature show for kids and it makes me happy bc they treat kids with respect and not like idiots #and thats important bc then u dont get fuckers like me growing up emotionally stunted and riddled with insecurities #BUT ALSO every single adult watching this show 1000% had bad childhoods/trauma. thats literally it. thats the audience #its all just one giant clusterfuck of catharsis and its what the people need!!! #i cant afford therapy the tiny blue australian dog is all i have!!! #......also not to be too Cringe On Main™ but...... i fuckin love jack and mackenzie theyre my favorites �� #i love these little mentally ill dogs so much ill take a bullet for them

[disaster-j]

OFF BEAT THE BIBI HATER ALLEGATIONS OMG I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY WE GOT AN OFFGUNBIBI PIC BUT HE GAVE US A WHOLE ASS VIDEO AHAJSOWKKSNS

#offgun #off jumpol #gun atthaphan #bibi the dog #offgunbibi #FINALLY #idec if it ends up being a publicity stunt it's so cute they're so fucking cute

[zanderbobs]

I love my dog so much but sweet jesus he can be an annoying prick sometimes

#like yeah i get it being a lockdown puppy stunted your social development #but youre nearly 4 years old now why do you still get so mad at men for coming to visit #long story short my boyfriend is sleeping over and my dog is ridiculously protective over me #and he gets upset and whines when we're upstairs and he has to be downstairs #and we're just trying to sleep and he wont shut the fuck up #personal #idk how we'd solve it its such a weirdly unique issue

[crystalkleure]

You ever think about how Actually Pretty Damn Strong Zac must be? As in, in actual beybattle. The hobby of choice for 99% of the characters in this hobby anime.

We already know he’s hypercompetent at destroying people psychologically and trashing reputations, etc., and the confirmed existence of Casual Bey Magic probably means he can deep-fry you extra crispy with Zeus Lightning, so he’s Actually Hardcore Scary And Threatening, but he’s also apparently really good at just embarrassing you by spinning his spinny top better than yours. I guess it’s just not really emphasized because he very pointedly prioritizes his job as an idol over his spintop hobby – Zac was using beyblading stunts as a means to drum up the attention + enthusiasm of a crowd that he could then direct towards his concerts.

We know he’s one of The Four Spin Emperors in s1, but he never showed back up in the anime in later seasons. Probably busy doing idol stuff. In the manga, however, we continue to see him occasionally even as late as Sparking. And, at one point in Sparking, he’s shown as part of a mix that appears to be the global top 15 beybladers. He’s up there chilling in a WBBA meeting with people like Shu, Lui, Free, and the protags.

[...I can’t read Japanese, but judging by which characters these are and the type of meeting that appears to be going on, I’m PRETTY SURE “these guys are the Global Best 15″ is what’s being indicated here. Correct me if I’m wrong.]

So even in spite of Zac explicitly not focusing on beyblading – it comes firmly second to his career – he apparently has not stagnated. More than that, he’s maintained his ranking as One Of The Best, even as New Challengers Appear over the seasons.

HE’S A BUSY POP STAR/ROCKSTAR GUY, meaning he’s not even putting all [or even most] of his time and effort into this, and yet he evidently STILL makes time in his schedule to go beat ass at plastic toy battling, frequently and savagely enough to still be this relevant, YEARS into the series. This is an adult man at this point, with a VERY DEMANDING JOB, so beyblade is literally just a hobby to him, Just A Fun Thing To Do On The Side, and yet he’s still THIS EXTRA about it. He is One Of The Best, at something that does NOT even have his full attention. No Such Thing As Casual. Rather, this IS Zac’s version of “casual.” No Mercy.

Terrifying!

#Zac does not simply ''Have Fun.'' Zac Shows Off. #Zac does not have fun UNLESS he is showing off. This is HOW Zac has fun. #BeyBurst #Beyblade Burst #Zac the Sunshine #CK dissects #This is the guy that pulled that dramatic ''I am going to QUIT BEYBLADING. FOREVER. WOE.'' stunt after losing to Valt in s1 lmfao #Which was of course just to cause drama because he's Zac. He's Not Going Anywhere. #Once he decides he's gonna Do A Thing he is gonna Do The FUCK Out Of That Thing. You Do Not Outcompete The Zac. #His ego probably would not tolerate him letting go of or deteriorating at something; especially not something competitive like this #That Would Be A Form Of Admitting Defeat #Zac's Pride Says Absolutely Not #This is just a really funny mental image. Him telling his manager he's booked through next week not because he's scheduled to perform... #...but because he's gotta fly to like Spain or something in order to bully some children. This is not negotiable. He simply must. #It's a recurring thing he makes a point of continuing to do #Can't just play with the spinny tops every now and then with whatever random bladers are in the city he's currently in; no sir #Gotta go out of his way to scream at The Big Dogs specifically. Those 11-16 y/os SPECIFICALLY Need To Be Bullied. #lol I love Zac #Like...he's clearly famous enough that he doesn't NEED the Attention From Beyblading to then funnel towards his music gigs #He's literally just enjoying this #Spinny Top Violence Fun

[larrywerelastseeninthesameroom]

How long has it been since Harry and Louis were last seen in the same place at the same time?

Six Years. (that’s 2,192 days)

#larry stylinson #larry being loud in 2022 #it's literally ending #it's larrie year #fuck babygate #end it #*** ** #bg #babygate #fuck sixyearoldgate #fuck timeandspacegate #fuck stunt dogs

[fttitv]

the power of not caring is what people with ulterior motives fear :) use it wisely♡︎ make sure to shoo them away when they get desperate, ladies!

#also + the power of finding out what exactly the fuck someone is doing #there was this guy who flirted w me and he never chatted me again bc i kept saying ''so this is how guys go on the move? LOL'' #''woah awesome line right there :)'' #basically i was like cheering up a dog for doing cute stunts and he got the gist that that was happening to him #also + kindness can kill! :3 #fttitv

[causticsunshine]

.

#i just came on to set up my queue and ofc people are still talking about the tatt #but goddamn some of these takes are really showcasing how weirdly parasocial your relationship is with h #acting like this was a personal slight towards you? and that you need to process forgiving him?? #while at the same time acknowledging you don’t know the true intent / story behind the tattoo ?? #like can we all just say we don’t truly know what it is and move on #cats italian dogs cities stunt hags etc it looks like a stunt piece with the timing #but regardless. taking whatever it is as a personal slight to you? be fucking fr like come on #i stand on the side of it being a stunt thing and if it is a stunt thing it’s passed #but in this case you being so personally offended by another piece of someone else’s closeting……. go outside #and even if it’s a cat a town etc it’s still not about you or for you etc etc #it’s not about you #using myself as an example here but the mob mentality on this is so real rn like one person gets upset about it and it spreads like #wildfire. some of the most rational people ik who’ve been around for ages were LOSING it yesterday #myself included! i got caught up in it and it put me in a terrible mood all day #this is why we shouldn’t be so quick to act analyze etc when shit like this happens #ik it’s hard not to like trust me I KNOW but especially if shit like that gets to you so hard: stay out of it #next time i’m forcing myself offline #aaaand i need to find better tags for blocking stunts and speculation and that specific genre of discourse #anyway. now going back to my semi hiatus for vacation prep and getting work done #be well friends x #alex talks

[svogliata-mente]

i miss botw :(

#i mooched it off of one flatmate two years ago and ever since he moved out I haven't stopped thinking about it #as soon as i can I'm getting a switch <- girl who's been saying this for two years as a primary motivation to keep on going #me medesima #i want to fuck around the aftermath of an ended world with link my best friend link who does stunt and is physically forbidden from petting #dogs even though he jumps up and down as hard as he can in their proximity

[cottonconnielvr]

pairing ✩ — plug!connie x hyperfem!spoiled!black!reader

warnings ✩— nothing much just fluff, money, pet name daddy is used

“I SWEAR TO GOD BABY,” Connie placed your 6 week old dog back into your lap. “Keep this fucking demon away from me” Your sparkly glossed up lips pouted, petting Marshmallow. “She’s just a baby” Connie bought the dog for you because you keep talking about how much you wanted one. He got the exact breed and everything. Since then, you’ve been so attached to the fluffy animal and Connie was a little jealous.

“She ate my fucking Bapestas” Connie quickly counted the band that was sitting in his lap.

“Boy hush, it was a small little bite. Your shoes are perfectly fine” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving it shiny and glittery.

“So what are we doing today?” You finally bring up your original question. Connie called you to tell you to be ready at 3.

You were dressed in a pink juicy couture tracksuit and some pink custom AF1’s Connie bought for you. His initials hanging off of your neck in shiny diamonds.

“Got a few clients today and wanted to take you with me, wanna take you shopping afterwards.” Connie spoke while keeping his focus on the 5th band that sat in his lap.

“You don’t have to, you just ordered me like $1000 worth of shoes” You loved the treatment Connie gave you but didn’t wanna take all of his money. Although Connie was willing to give you all of it and put you on his will.

“I know but my baby passed all her finals. You deserve the world” You let a smile creep onto your face. Connie always knew how to make you feel so special. He only ever wants the best for you, seeing as he dropped out of college. He just wants for you to be as successful as possible and stunt on all these hoes.

You grabbed his jaw, turning his head to face you before kissing him repeatedly on the lips. A smile broke out onto his face. “I love you so so so so much” You pressed one more kiss to his lips.

“I love you more ma” Connie pressed a kiss to your cheek, staining your lip gloss on it. He reached for the duffel bag in the backseat and placed 3 bands in, handing the rest to you. “This is for your rent and whatever else you wanna spend it on, kay?”

You held back the urge to scream, feeling just so spoiled.

“Thank you daddy” You tease and place the money in your tote bag.

Connie puts the car in drive and looks over at you as he pulls from in-front of your house, seeing you already distracted as you scroll on Sephora.

“Spoiled brat” He mumbles

#aot smut #aot headcanons #aot fluff #levi aot #aot x you #aot x black reader #eren aot #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #aot oc #snk eren #snk x y/n #snk smut #snk x reader #snk mikasa #snk armin #connie springer #connie springer x you #connie springer x reader #connie springer x y/n #connie x y/n #plug!connie #plug!eren #plug!connie x black reader

[pedge-page]

What about Joel having to spend a night away for work last minute and reader sulking about it when he gets home and blanking him? 🤣 Cue grovelling from Joel lol

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: Late From Work

Notes: I must be too yeehaw American because I had to look up what "blanking" someone meant 😂. Anyway, I had so much fun writing this! Decided to make him late rather than spending a whole night away because lets be real, she'd be serving divorce papers for that.

Warnings: brief oral (f receiving) scene; jealous!Reader, Stubborn reader is BACK

18+ ONLY:

- - - -

He knows he fucked up too. Big time. 

When he said he’d be home at the latest by 7:00pm and it’s now 7:02 and he’s just getting in the truck leaving the site. And when his call goes to voicemail for the 3rd time, and then the fourth time tells him that the number is no longer valid (he’s been blocked), he knows he’s in Big-Fucking-Trouble.

Doesn’t want to call Tommy up for help to coax partially because he wants to fix this own his own, and partially to save Tommy from your wrath you most certainly will take out on him rather than your absent husband.

He grabbed a bouquet of flowers at the grocery store (he’s already in the doghouse so what’s another 5 minutes added to his sentence) and is currently speeding home, a solid 15mph over the limit. Tonight isn’t even anything special: you had both just come back from a lovely weekend trip on the coast and were just settling back in to your house. But when Joel doesn’t deliver on his word, isn’t home for pizza and Pepsi, and sitting behind you while rubbings your back and belly for a quiet movie night…

Well, he’s never been late since the start of your pregnancy. Doesn’t want to think what hellfire you’re going to spit at him the moment he walks in that door.

So here he is about to walk in that door. He takes a big breath, not feeling this anxious since the he proposed to you, and steps in.

He immediately makes contact with you: standing at the end of the hall, illuminated by the kitchen light with your extra extra large T shirt stretched over your belly and dangling loosely around your thighs, hands by your side, barefoot, despite how often he nags at you to wear socks around the house so your feet don’t get cold. He’s thankful to see you hadn’t packed a suitcase, trying to leave the house with a “my husband doesn’t love me” stunt again. 

You clearly had just been walking past when you heard the door, not even fully turning to him but just having your head directed to the entrance the second he walked in. You briefly note the flowers in his hands before your eyes quickly go back to his. He feints an apologetic smile, heart beating so hard. You’re soooo quiet. The calm before the storm.

He gulps hard. 

Instead, you turn forward once more and continue walking towards the living room without a word.

You have a hand on your back as you gently collapse onto the couch. 

“Baby,” he says meekly, voice all tiny yet determined.

You pull your legs up over a pillow and fold open your book.

He comes to kneel beside you, immediately kissing your shoulder.

You do nothing. 

“Baby,” he says more clearly. “I’m sorry, honey. I couldn’t beat the time.”

You flip a page, tilting your head to read the fascinating text on the page rather than listen to your poor husband on his knees for you.

His fights with the sleeve of your shirt. Would you at least look at him? He’s holding the flowers still in his hand, big puppy dog eyes trying their best to plea with you, and with his irresistible pouty lips that get him just about anything he wanted from you. But you only lend him a sigh, flipping yet another page.

So it’s gonna be like that.

"Please, angel. I was tryin' so hard to leave on time like I said. They got the concrete all mixed up and it needed to be set today, was tryin' to get out of there, just couldn't get it moving fast enough, I'm sorry baby I really sped over here fast I can to see ya, couldn't wait a second longer—"

“Oh!” You gasp suddenly.

He’s started, but nonetheless quick to be by you.

You check the clock on the wall and laugh. Time had gotten away from you too. You slam your book and hoist yourself up, on the other end of the couch to avoid his anxious hands fluttering to your aid. You brush past him and start your climb up the stairs.

Joel is right behind you, a bit of hope stirring in him. Its not until you’re walking through your bedroom door—and slamming it right in his face that he gets the message loud and clear.

Perhaps he earned a night on the couch to pray your forgiveness. After finding a suitable vase for the roses, he puffs up his pillow, his back killing him (though he’d never say it aloud while you’re waddling around with a whole 'nother being in your belly for the last few months) and crashes down on the sofa.

He just makes out the light go off under the door in the bedroom before he too is closing his eyes.

Tomorrow brings a new day, and he’s gonna spend every second satisfying his wife. He’s deserves his stay on the couch tonight.

-

He did NOT deserve this bullshit.

It’s been 3 fucking days since he came home late.

3 days of waking up early, trying to kiss his beautiful wife and baby momma with sweet affirmations and praises, which you dodge and continue about your stubborn ignoring-test. He spent all morning cooking every single food you’d craved since your pregnancy started—waffles, French toast, cinnamon pancakes, toast with special mixed fruit jam you can only get at a grocery store an hour away, scrambled, over easy, poached, hard boiled eggs. All arranged so beautifully on the table, even going as far to put the napkins on the left, after you screeched at him a few months ago for haphazardly having them on either the right or left, and never with the fork consistently on top.

He thought he’d learned his lesson, thought he made more than enough up to you, but no. You breeze right by, making a cup of tea, and go back upstairs to your closed door.

Your sadistic mind had given him false hope when you hadn’t locked the door on him on night number two. He slept in his bed, but you had made a clear parry by slotting between the two of you the infernal pregnancy pillow that Joel had kept in storage since you “Much preferred your husband’s plushy belly and soothing rubs.” 

Fat chance tonight.

Every minute he wasn’t telling you how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how lucky he is, he spends groveling with please forgive me, I’m so sorry, I’m such a worm.

None of it sways you any differently. 

By day 4, he’s given up the sweet talk and grand gestures. Goes for a “think like her” kind of mental approach. 

He tries to bribe you—either making you a Pepsi float, or even bringing home the famous Hot Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with EXTRA Rainbow sprinkles. But even as he temptingly waves in front of your little wiggly nose, you don’t acknowledge him.

He makes a big show to sigh heavily in defeat, leaving it on the kitchen table alone and trotting helplessly upstairs for a shower.

Less than 7 minutes later he’s come back down to see if you’d given in yet, maybe even telling him what a fantastic husband he is while shoveling your face with ice cream and admitting you were being dramatic. 

Instead, you’re still sitting on the couch, exactly as he left you. Of course, the milkshake cup is completely empty, sucked clean of its gooeyness, and there’s a little splotch of chocolate sauce lingering on your chin you had failed to wipe clean. 

A start, he thinks.

Still though, you don’t pay him any mind, scrolling on your phone with tight lips.  

He wonders how long you could go on with this game.  

It’s honestly a fucking terrible miracle—not even since before you were pregnant had you gone this long shutting the fuck up. But now its horrifyingly eerie, like a curse has fallen upon him and he’s doing everything he can to break it, to bring back your nagging and bitching and whining and crying because it would be so much more relaxing than this new kind of psychotic hell you’ve subjected him to.

He starts getting a little more involved: playing with your body, touching you softly with gentle strokes along your thighs and belly. You hadn’t flinched away, or tried moving to another spot on the couch. 

Which confirmed one thing to him: your horniness and lack of physical attention from your husband due to your stubborn mind was losing your mental battle to hold out against him.

So Joel doesn’t say anything either as he moves his lips over your breasts, down your swollen belly and kissing his babygirl in your bump. He mumbles, “Mommy is awfully mad at Daddy, think I can cheer her up?” 

The baby kicks as if in agreement. His gaze glances up briefly to see if you’re listening.

Your eyes catch and yours quickly dart away, leaning back and pretending to yawn. He snickers before continuing his hot trail of open mouthed kisses until your legs “shift” and “accidentally” part on their own.

He makes sweet, insatiable yet slow love to your pussy, licking a fat strip from your little clenched hole to that hot delicious center that is beyond wet for him—yet another example of how much your body clearly can’t ignore him forever.

But, ever as he brings you to a long needed orgasm, you bite your tongue, absolutely refusing to give him even the slightest sound of satisfaction despite clenching tightly around his thick digits pumping into you. Only letting out a strangled breath through your nose while you stare up to the ceiling, fingers folded across your tummy as if bored. 

He wipes away the slick from his mustache. Hell, even he can admit you deserve an applaud for making it through that without uttering a peep to his skills.

Hurts like hell on the inside though that you’re just that mad still.

He had hoped that being forced to drive with him due to your size preventing you from sitting behind the wheel would corner you into talking him, but even then, as he opens the passenger door for you, you climb aboard and slam the door shut without his assistance.

Now the two of you are on your way to yours and Maria’s weekend brunch. Tommy was also coming to drop his girlfriend off, so it would be a good time to catch him up on this unqiuely-pregnant-you madness.

You snatch your purse and hop out of the car, mood going a full 180 and instantly greeting Maria with a warm hug and perky voice. The two of you sit down at a little table way aways from your idiot husband and brother in law.

Tommy nods him over to the bar and Joel grumbles over.

“She ignoring you?” His little brother asks while shelling peanuts.

“Is it that obvious?” Joel shakes his head. He can’t even leave off with Tommy because he knows you won’t answer his texts asking what time you’re done for pickup. So he’s stuck here to wait for you the entire time.

“You try going down on—“

“Yes! Yes I fucking tried.”

“She didn’t like it?”

“Oh no, she came hard. Wouldn’t even whimper for me when she was clenching her little cunt around my fingers—” he says with an aggressive whisper, his pointer and middle fingers shooting up in the air with wild eyes demonstrating the scene, “—and her little numb twitchin’ on my tongue. Didn’t even fucking moan. She’s a stubborn girl but I don’t deserve that.”

Tommy shakes his head with a chuckle. “Damn. That’s just determination right there. Gotta give it to her.”

Tommy excuses himself with a slap to the shoulder, muttering “gotta take a leak” and disappears to the bathroom.

Joel wouldn’t mind having a drink right now, but know’s he’s gotta stay sober to drive you home. A miserable, silent filled drive once again. He glanced at his watch, following each tick of the hand.

“Hi there.”

Joel almost didn’t address the voice of the woman who had gentle snuck up behind him, moving to take Tommy’s seat. She’s probably a little younger than you, a nice kind smile, inviting and warm towards a stranger. 

Joel politely smiles back with a little nod. 

She offers a sweet “thanks”, a blush creeping on her cheeks before she begins to speak: “Listen, I don’t mean to prude… but I saw you come in and ...I’m usually not so brash—but I was wondering…”

-

Meanwhile, your baby is beat boxing extra hard today in your stomach. You can’t even focus on eating your salad and keeping up with Maria’s chatter about Tommy’s nose hairs all over the vanity. 

Your baby is smart. She knows something is up. You narrow your eyes and look around, finding Joel and company at the bar— 

Except the company he is keeping is NOT Tommy but instead, a gorgeous woman tossing her hair and flashing her pearly white teeth off at your husband, who’s giving her his full attention. She’s giggling with him, taking animatedly with her hands, lingering heavy eye contact and touching his watch as if looking for an excuse to get closer.

You forget about the massive planet sized lump in your belly as you instantly stand up, nearly tipping the table and all its dishes and cutlery over. 

Maria is calling your name but you don’t have the mind to answer, striding over like a bull towards the bar.

-

“Hiiiiiiii!”

Joel and the woman both jump at the harsh shrill of an annoying, high pitched, slightly perturbed but faking a smile, voice screeching behind them—the most beautiful voice Joel’s ever heard…and had missed so dearly this week.  

The woman looks over to you, seemingly startled that you had interrupted the conversation so brazenly.

“Oh, um, hi,” she offers, blinking off your pregnant belly and abrupt appearance.

“This is Joel,” you boast, pointing the shlump of a man in front of her.

“Ah-Hello—“ she smiles again to him.

You add quickly. “He’s my husband.”

“Oh.”

“And I’m his wife.”

“Ah—I—“

“Annnnnnnnd this is our baby!” You boast, proudly rubbing over that enormous swell of your tumtum so she can see in case it wasn’t the biggest fucking thing in this room. “And… you are?” You ask sweetly.

“Um…” she takes one last glance at Joel, his apologetic shrug saying everything then at you, your hard gaze burning holes into her head. “…leaving,” she says towards you.

“Great answer. I like you :) Bye Bye now!” You wave enthusiastically with a chipper voice and a deadly smile. She nods fretfully and pops off the stool, walking away like a threatened animal.

He just chuckles, shaking his head and looking down at his hands with a grin. “Ya know, she just came over to ask where I got my watch.”

“And did you tell her your WIFE bought it?” You ask, poking your finger at his chest.

He has to hide his crooked smile. It’s the first time you’ve directly spoken to him since Monday. “Yeah, I did. She asked where ya got it, because she was looking for one just like it—for her husband.”

Your finger fidgets slightly, expression drawing a blank at the revelation turning over in your mind.

“……………………………………………....................................oh.”

He rotates his stool to face you. You’re steeping in your thoughts, the confidence faltering just slightly in your mind at the realization of how grossly you had interpreted the situation between that innocent woman and your hubby. He didn’t even care, though. All he could think about was how his heart feels 10x lighter seeing you back in your usual, bold, daring, audacious self. All of your attention on him once again.

“I’ll admit, still felt good havin’ ya come to my rescue.”

You scoff, near offended by his words. “Well duh, you’re mine.”

“That right? Even these last few days?”

Yet another bomb goes off in your head at the second realization—that you had forfeited your punishment to ignore him to the ends of the earth.

 You cross your arms defensively anyway. “Well... I…decided.”

“Mmm?”

“That…I needed a back rub. But you clearly you can’t pick up on that on your own so—now I have to verbally tell you.”

“Ah huh. Sure it wasn’t cuz you were jealous? Couldn’t stand me being interested in another woman since my own made it clear she didn’t want me no more? Because my wife decided she couldn’t be patient and wait the extra 13 minutes I was running late before punishin’ me all goddamn week?”

Oh wait—was he really only late by 13 minutes? You could have sworn it was an hour plus!

“That wasn’t 13 minutes! Do you know how to tell time? It was over an hour—“

“Did you set your clock back like I told you to the night before when we got back from the coast, into our own time zone?”

😳

- - - -

Also this is how I see reader getting ate out but trying to be nonchalaunt about it:

conveniently also my favorite shot of Pedro during a photoshoot

Permanent taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee

#pedro pascal smut #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #last of us fanfiction #last of us smut #joel miller fic #joel miller #joel miller fluff #the last of us fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fluff #last of us fic #last of us fluff #joel dealing with preggo wife

[tgcg]

this is my element (+ album)

asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy

thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota

i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute

but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately

===

so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD

they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit

flipping it turnways

putting the rock in the house like a big man

we had some of their merch actually

===

so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element

released 2007

mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots

this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it

that framing was tight

===

so you may be asking yourself or me

dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem

ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down

but anyways to THAT i say

listen to the music

the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats

got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling

HELLA underground

and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"

dude is my hero seriously

he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff

aside from bro obviously

===

obviously.

===

anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s

revolutionary to the hip hop scene

nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats

still do

i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that

it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk

he had one of those

===

so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am

the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night

ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that

that was goofy lets just keep movin

it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever

random car sequence

yknow what i dont think people respect enough?

the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera

i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me

bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater

thats like an express ticket to the ER imo

the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog

===

ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat

not great on a board myself

kinda dogshit at it actually

so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness

but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?

whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is

and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009

he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti

surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit

thats like

serendipitous as fuck i think!

===

if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with

instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead

i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review

===

so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess

bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man

#dave strider #homestuck #comix #this is my element #the way i drew dave posing here is rly heavily inspired by askinsufferableprick btw #welcome to strider infodump hours

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

When I tell you I cannot WAIT to hear readers reaction to the stunt Bruce pulled. I’d be rolling up with some words to say and punches to throw

"Bruce," Dick cautioned, "don't start a fight."

"Hn."

"They have kids," Dick reminded. And Jason- well. It wasn't Jason that worried him when it came to the kids. It was you. Now that he'd had a little time to do some digging of his own, he could understand your appeal to Jason. A young, pretty single mom? A convoluted adoption story? Strong enough to do it alone but vulnerable enough to trip all his protective instincts.

"Hn."

"And dogs. Couple big ones," Dick hummed. Though the enthusiastic boxer and the aging wolfhound wouldn't be much of an issue, he didn't think.

Bruce nodded and looked towards the house. Through the kitchen window, he could see his son. Phone pinned between his ear and his shoulder. Flipping bits of diced meat to the dogs as he worked on putting... whatever it was into the crock pot. He looked... content. Relaxed. If a little out of place.

It was clear that the decorations and paint were... your taste. And that they hadn't been updated. Pale pink walls and mint curtains and appliances... It made his hulk of a son look like he was playing in a doll house.

"Quit being creepy and start your apology tour," Dick sighed. "You can do me next-"

"I just wanted proof he wasn't-"

"You're the one that told him to leave. Again," Dick snapped. "So he did. And now he has a wife. And kids. And probably another kid on the way. When the fuck is he supposed to cause trouble?"

Bruce looked back to the window and watched Jason sit in a kitchen chair. Shooing the wolfhound's head off the table. Only to groan when the dog just started to try and crawl into his lap.

"When-"

"His wife closes shop at 5pm," Dick said. "Kids get home at 3:45. You have an hour and a half if you want to get him alone."

"Hn."

#ask answered #minors dni #reader insert #jason todd x reader #jason todd #disowned!verse