That feeling when a single, errant thought absolutely kills your groove.
Me: *says something*
Someone: that joke’s not funny anymore
Normal brain: yeah they’re right it was getting old
My brain: you’re a terrible annoying person and they actually hate you
- BUT YOUR BRAIN KEEPS PESTERING YOU TO WRITE THAT TAVERN MASSACRE SCENE
- BUT YOUR BRAIN IS TOO HYPED FROM THAT ONE SCENE OF YOUR OC KILLING A TAVERN FULL OF PEOPLE LIKE A BOSS
Me (right after watching that new interview about the new Shadow & Bones series): You know, Jamil like a mixture between Inej and Kaz. Like Kaz, he’s calm and collected. They are both quite manipulative and even ruthless when they want to be. Like Inej, Jamil is skeptical and rather calculating, being blunt and speaking his mind about things. They both have long, black hair they keep in braids. (They also seem to be coded as South Asian/Middle Eastern, so there’s that, too.)
(TWST brain activates)
Me: Come to think about it. Kalim is like a mixture between Wylan and Jesper. Like Jesper, he is a fun loving, extroverted and well-intentioned guy. He can also be a bit of a blabber mouth. Like Wylan, he’s a guy from a rich family, who was naive and innocent at first. But after waking up to the darker side of things, he tries to improve himself.
Me: My god. Jamil is like an Inej and Kaz love child. Kalim is like a Jesper and Wylan love child. …also, that theme for the new Shadow & Bones series is super lit.
And its that time again where I feel like shit for no reason whatsoever and its bringing me to the edge of tears. Gotta love it
Between his breath, his mind wanders.. and as he strokes their hairs, his eyes softens then ask human before his eyes..
“may i love you?”
Can someone please tell me why seeing my friends triggered my depression, it’s usually the other way around and now I’m crying
my son of a bitch brain didn’t let me sleep because i thought my hands were dirty but at the morning i realize it was impossible because i washed my hands before going to bed
Again, wanna draw, no ideas.
Me: Hey brain? Can I get some inspiration?
Brain: Sure! Here’s 1,200 words of something you’ll be really happy with.
Me: Umm…. thanks but I literally cannot post that for like 2 months.
love sleeping for 2 hours then waking up
me : maybe i should ask my friends who have been taking commissions for a while for advice. maybe that would be a good idea
brain : no don’t do that they will hate you for it. they already hate you and think your art is shit. go simmer in sadness now
me : ok sure
had a nightmare last night that there was a serial killer in my town who was about a bit older than me. she only killed people who were younger than her. i was in my back yard, when there was a loud siren followed by an announcement that said to keep anyone from the ages of 0-17 inside. i went inside and sat in my room. then a girl walked in with a big knife and i woke up.
the first thought i had when i woke up was “she’s still watching me” and the second thought was “that was cana” so uh
she’s back, third dream with cana in it let’s go
OMG FUCK! Halfway thru drawing something in ibispaint, I realized I could just copy and paste the building.
Today is a bad mental health day.
I don’t even know what caused it. Only that I am overwhelmingly sad and am trying desperately not to tear up at the drop of a hat.
It hasn’t been a bad day. Or a hard day. Or anything. It’s actually been a pretty good day. So why is my brain like this?!?
Fuck you brain!
I’m currently freaking out cause before my dad left the house, he got mad at me for something and it seemed unprompted, and even though he left, I can see the car in front of the garage and if so confused. What made him get mad at me? Why is car still here if he had to go somewhere? Oh. My anxious ass forgot that he was planning on donating the stuff in the garage. I’m a fucking idiot. Fuck my anxiety.
someone tell me why i just got really fuckin sleepy but then out of fuckin no where my brain was like “ oopsie daisy i acidentially pressed the no sleep button again”
like that shit dissapeared faster then harry fuckin houdini.
I’m still behind with work, but I did one document yesterday and another today! (they were both short; the other two I’m working on are looooooooooooooooong.) Yay me.
But I need to be better about working before I start with music for the day. It ends up pushing the work later. But I used to always want music later, and lately I’ve been wanting it earlier and earlier – even before my nap today! (although I do not actually listen that early, I just want to, which is thoroughly atypical given my morning brain.)
I’m really glad I started listening to lots of music again. I didn’t even realize how much I’d disconnected after my dad died, but now that I think about it, I mostly sang old stuff for five years, and rarely listened to anything new. The nostalgia factor I guess, and not having any urge to engage with new things because it was hard to listen to a world without him.
my mind tries to tell me that i have no friends and yet here i am, in 7 different groupchats with generally the same group of people. valiant attempt, my dude, but ultimately a failed one.