#fucked good

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova #UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away. #then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again. #ria.txt #personal #space opera au #(<- not about what you think is about) #hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good. #xkcd #randall munroe #space #moon #anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

#I’m so mad everyone I’m sorry I’m going to make sure EVERYONE sees the proper version of mcc this year or die trying #literally this song is so important to the narrative and the film is so fucking hollow without it #if you grew up with disney’s bullshit version and thought it was good WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS SHIT #please. please watch the REAL version of this film. it means a lot to me ok #the muppet christmas carol #for the love of god please people

[lordspoooky]

Ice king is a really good character because they intoduce him and you're like "haha what a freak what's wrong with him" and then the show goes "oh! You want to know? Let me show you :)" and you end up just sitting there like

#hi you clicked on the root post :) #good ass character #i love characters that are 'hehe goofy weirdo' and then they show their backstory and they're the most tragic fucking character in the show' #adventure time #ice king

[morganpdf]

does anyone else feel kind of slutty refilling soap bottles

#morgan.pdf #saying it now. i stole that image off google. i do not fill soap bottles that messy #dw im normal i make sure it all gets in the hole<3 #banger.pdf #gets the tag now bc fuck it. good post op

[cemeterything]

i think it's so fun that "damn" is such a casual curse word now that it's basically become divorced completely from its original meaning. like oops i dropped my phone, time to invoke the wrath of god about it in the most mildly annoyed tone of voice imaginable.

#🐉 #even around people who dont like swearing you can often get away with it. which is crazy if you think about it. #to be clear i think this is a good thing! fuck cultural christianity lol

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[a-gay-poptart]

I have found the best ally

Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.

Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Sai?"

Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."

My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."

Random woman: "Excuse me?"

Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*

Me: *pissing myself laughing*

My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Sai, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."

Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."

#trans pride #queer #nonbinary #lgbtqia #queer pride #queer community #lgbtq #lgbtq community #queer joy #queer jokes #queer journey #fuck transphobes #transgender #anti capitalism #anti zionisim #anti trans violence #trans ally #lbgtqia #gender is a social construct #Why are all Russians such good allies I stfg

[somewhatvellum]

this will sureily convince the people that the royal family are not out of touch moneywasters and that we should be happy keeping them around for sure

#charles is already so unpopular why the fuck does he think this is a good idea 😭 #uk politics #uk monarchy #op #popular

[greykolla-art]

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #Hazbin hotel comic #JESUS WEPT THIS FUCKING THING WAS A BEAST #BUT I LOVE IT! #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #Alastor #charlie morningstar #angst #hurt/comfort #whump art #I know what you people are I’m one of you! #I heard your cries for more angst and I aim to please! #also good excuse to use clip studio more #I only bust that out for something special #now let’s do something else! like eat!

[cephalopod-celabrator]

J. K. Rowling and Neil Gaiman are such a funny contrast to me, like Rowling: Oh, and by the way, I put gay characters in my books. People: Is there anything... showing that? Rowling: No. Also trans women don't deserve respect People: wtf Gaiman: Here are some immortals that transcend all human concepts of gender and attraction who use a variety of pronouns, and also some clearly canon human queers. People: Are the immortals queer? Gaiman: That is an entirely valid way to view them. Other people: Ugh, pushing a modern woke agenda. It used to be- Gaiman: Fuck you

#j.k. rowling #neil gaiman #fuck jkr #queer #desire of the endless #good omens #sandman #queer pride #protect trans lives #I like to think that if terry pratchett were still alive he'd be doing the same and tearing jkr to shreds

[puppyboypatrick]

online friends are like. i would trust you with my life. i have never seen your knees

#no good fucking television #lk.txt #pansys biggest hits #i changed this to gay sex but i felt bad so i changed it back. if u saw it in the 5 minutes it was like that hi ur a real one

[butchdykekondraki]

all queer discourse could be stopped if we all just remembered that in the eyes of conservative fascists we're all dirty queers polluting their kids minds who need to be eradicated at all costs

#[ren] #queer discourse doesnt matter they want us all dead equally. all of you are so fucking stupid good god

[inkskinned]

at the end of the day it's not that you hate your job - actually, you like working, you like routine, you like feeling like an adult - it's that any time you fuck anything up, you feel like you're fucking dying.

because you could be actually fucking dying. because if one day you wake up and you misunderstood something - you could lose your job, and nobody is hiring, and nobody is paying, and nobody takes people like you, and that job you want hasn't gotten back to you. and what exactly are you going to do without insurance? good luck with those meds. you should have thought of that before being a person.

so it's not just that you forgot to CC someone on an email, it's that if you don't have this job, you can't afford rent. it's not that you misread a comment, it's that if you get fired, you will be in massive amounts of unpayable debt. it's not that you are bad at your job, but here are the stakes as they have been decided for you: be perfect or fucking die. like, literally, die. that is how much safety net you have: none.

it's not burnout, technically. but you literally just had two typos in your work, and you're already picturing the ending. you want to throw up & curl up & make it all go away. it is two typos. if he decides he is mad at you, you lose literally everything.

your mom says that you seem stressed. the thing is that you have never known a job that isn't stressful. welcome to capitalism. there is no other road, only this one. what the fuck is a career. you come here, and we hold your life against the barrel of a gun, and somewhere someone is spinning the chamber and pulling. eventually the bullet will come.

you live in a mugging. your boss owns three cars and has four kids. you worry about having enough to feed your dog. good luck. beg for forgiveness. CC the right people next time and be grateful, kid. somebody has it worse than you. someone, probably, has it worse than you. so what if you can't sleep or eat or focus. your work chat sound literally makes you panic. you had to change the sounds of computer notifications so you'd stop having such an upset stomach.

welcome to the real world! the rat race! the dog eat dog circus!

your doctor studies the results and frowns at you. "it's bad for your heart," she says. "try to reduce your levels of stress."

#spilled ink #warm up #i am OFF MY MEDS AND I FUCKING HATE IT #WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING #NOT GOOD FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[loveapologist]

He changed his mind.

Support me on PATREON!

#another fanart hehe #Fuck Metatron he is staying with his partner #this is what actually happened #copium #brain worms #good omens season 2 #good omens #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #good omens fanart #fanart #my art

[bishopfish]

Imagine being a tuna (Atlantic bluefin, Thunnus thynnus). You are a super predator, over six feet long and almost a ton. You are as beautiful and shiny and mercilessly efficient as a sports car, a true marvel of the sea. But you taste so fucking good

#fish #anyway. shoutout to anyone who’s favorite animal also tastes so fucking good

[et-in-arkadia]

this is such incredible advice for creating any kind of art i have to put it over here to remind myself

#thanks michael #this is also like #devastating in a way #like thinking of him playing aziraphale #with aziraphale desperate to be alive #to connect to breathe to see to touch #michael giving all of that over in his performance so that aziraphale can live again through him #i’m mortally wounded #michael sheen #good omens #fucking michael sheen man #creativity