thinking abt kms 24/7 just to not be able to do it for a girl i love
god i wanna kms so badly but i know how much itd hurt her, ik how upset she’d get, how it would crush her world and ruin her life and id do fucking, literally fucking anything for that girl, literally anything, she asks me to not kms, she asks me to stay and its not just her asking me to, she makes me wanna try and fight too, i just, i get so tired and when i get tired i have no energy to fight, i have no energy to push it away or let go of it, i give in, im tired
im so tired, im so ready to give in again and attempt again, i literally just did last monday, i freaked out i had to have her tell me to stop so i didnt actually kms, i wish i wouldve at least sent myself to the hospital from the damage but im not even good enough for that
i cant help but think that my attempts are good enough because i never sent myself to the hospital i always had the power to stop myself but what the fuck does that make me? a fucking big ass pussy, a faker, a fraud
god, just, fucking kill me please im so so tired
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waking up drenched in sweat every morning
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got a 9 on a quizz and it made my grade go from a 68 (bad) to a 65 (worse)
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I wish bracelets could cover my emotional pain. But they can’t. They just cover my frowned upon coping mechanism.
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Im getting too deep into the trigun rabbit hole did I miss the part in the show where they say Ww is mentally a child?? Im actually so confused rn I KEEP TRYING TO FIND AN ANSWER BUT I JUST END UP MORE CONFUSED 😭😭 I WANT OUT PLEASE LMFAOO The one time I find a ship cute man I CANNOT FUCKING WIN
I shouldve just stayed in the one piece fandom ffs ☹️
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