#fucking shoutout to raine for existing

[budgiegryphon]

This year's r/place really fucking sucked, terribly run and an obvious(failed) distraction, but we did get some nice stuff done

Another bench! 45 communities! Here's the fully planned piece, Quote sadly got added last minute and wasn't visible before blackout.

Full character list below the cut.

Batter from OFF, Beheaded from Dead Cells, Ori from Ori and the blind forest, Bugs from APICO above Ori, Moon from Outer Wilds next to bugs, Purple guy from FnAF, Mae from Night in the woods, Omori from Omori, Commando from Risk of Rain, Madeline from Celeste above Commando, Engi, Bosco and Lootbug from Deep Rock Galactic, Soul Knight logo below Engi, Tiny Niko on top of Bosco, Sprite Companion from Hyperlight Drifter next to Tiny Niko, Isaac from Binding of Isaac, Chompy from Bug Fables underneath Isaac, Engineer from Factorio, Strabby on Engineer's shoulder, a penguin from Starbound, Junimo from Stardew Valley, Oneshot bulb above Stardew Valley's apple, A router from Mindustry, Keg from sea of thieves, Lamb from Cult of the Lamb sitting on the keg, Monika from DDLC above Lamb, Fishbowl from FSSH, Spooky from Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion, Whiteface and flower from IMSCARED above Spooky, V1 from Ultrakill, The Conductor from Final Station in front of V1's legs, Moth from Sky: Children of the Light above V1, Apollo from Ace Attorney bottom right of V1, Gnome from Everhood, Rivulet on Looks to the Moon from Rain World, Gail from Phoenotopia above Rivulet, Captain Viridian from VVVVVV above Gail, Flowey from Undertale below Looks to the Moon, Grimm from Hollow Knight, Paprika from Them's Fighting Herds above Grimm, Deltarune red heart above Strabby, King Slime in front of Grimm, The Spiral Heart from Grime next to Grimm, Carp from Lisa, Richard Mask from Hotline Miami above The Spiral Heart

#despite being horribly stressful there was also a lot of fun #shoutout to purple guy batter and richard for just appearing out of the ether #and the fssh people for successfully gaslighting everyone afterward about whether the game actually existed #and that one streamer who got so fucking mad that he couldn't successfully take over our spot #we had people saying the bench might be full at 16 characters and I think that got taken as a challenge #it went a whole DAY longer than it was supposed to and we all got burned out lmao #I coordinated this thing and was dreaming about bench negotiations the night after #conclusion reddit is a terrible place but the indie game people remain cool #sigh. tagwall time. #r/place #ultrakill #hollow knight #rain world #off #ori #dead cells #apico #night in the woods #omori #risk of rain #deep rock galactic #cult of the lamb #oneshot #spooky's jumpscare mansion #stardew valley #sky children of the light #bugsnax #hotline miami #grime game what is yalls tag #everhood

[happyk44]

pjo: is not fully accurate to the greek myths or portrayal of the gods, doesn't need to be since it's just a nice introduction to greek mythos but not seeking to be an educational book that people should be referencing in their essays, the only book(s) that could be considered educational and factual would be the greek myths/greek heroes books that percy narrates, but if you want to add something to pjo through fanon wikipedia and the theoi website as a check is probably fine, no one is expecting every fan of the pjoverse to have a PhD in ancient history/religion/mythos

me regardless: i need to check my hundreds of greek/roman mythos books to factcheck this thing i came across on wikipedia and is relevant to this ask just to make sure i'm not messing up a history/mythos thing even though this is related to pjo, where it doesn't really matter so why am i freaking out about it 🤷‍♂️

#shoutout to the person who sent me that neptune ask - i am answering it!! but i am also gonna go upstairs and grab some books lmao #happy's babblings #ah fuck it's raining. okay maybe i'll just give up on the books. or i'll wait. or i'll grab one of my aunt's jackets and head out to mine #also lmao when i was writing that hades and pomegrante tree thing i obsessively searched for info on menoetes #and even looked up a pdf copy of one of the REALLY OLD books that were sourced on theoi website to verify myself #but nah he's got like. zero info other than he exists and guards the cattle lmao and also fought herucles that one time

[lacheri]

Hi cheri,

I wanna hurt so 25 + 31 for the prompt? 👉🏽👈🏽💛

-🌻💛🌼

order up!!! the angst is hot be careful touching the plate!! (shoutout to the master of angst @astridthevalkyrie for lending me her evil on this one! you're the worst astrid! <3)

cw: pain, suffering, forlorning, sorrow, Levi is a crestfallen chap, he's also a fucking moron, a stupid reason for a break up, hashtag Levi get a grip, mention of cheating (no actual cheating was done), mention of a dead parent, minors/ageless blogs dni!

wc: 1.4k

prompt event: taking requests until midnight est! <3

25. It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…” + 31. thank you for being in my life

Levi really shouldn’t be out this late. It’s raining for one; Seemingly infinite water drops ricochet against his windshield, the sound deafening in the complete silence of his car. He’s also feeling profoundly empty, not a thought floating around in his head or a goal in mind. He’s just sitting here in this vacant parking lot in the middle of a thunderstorm, staring mindlessly at a flickering street lamp off in the distance.

Erwin told him he should get out more and try to regain some form of normalcy. This probably wasn’t what he had in mind, but then again, Levi is at the very least trying. Which happens to be a lot more than what he was doing before, glazed eyes glued to the blue static of his living room television.

Maybe it’s not much of a difference after all, but he did get out of his stuffy one bedroom apartment. It lacks the abundance of furniture, or any sign of personalization, but it’s a place to sleep, so there’s no need to make it comfortable. It’s not his home. It’s not supposed to be his responsibility to make it that either.

It’s out of habit that he reaches into his pocket, digging out his wallet. Levi doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until he’s flipping the leather open, thumbing over the laminated pocket inside. There’s an oval in the center, allowing the photograph behind the plastic to breathe, and he’s sure there’s permanent damage in that exposed paper from the skin he routinely swipes over. 

It’s been one year, six months, and thirteen days since Levi has last seen you. Your picture in his wallet gives him the illusion that you’re still around, still smiling just as sweetly as you are in his pocket, just waiting for him to come home, his real home. 

And on nights like this, when Levi is feeling exceptionally devoid of all feeling, he tugs that photo out of the laminate and holds it mere inches from his eyes. He inspects it thoroughly — the one strand of hair straying away from your face, your eyes crinkled and half lidded, your teeth glistening in that goofy smile of yours, stuck forever in the middle of heart warming laughter. God, the way you would light up a room, utterly remarkable. You were so bright, so warm and full of life and love and — Levi would give anything to hear that obnoxious laugh of yours again.

Maybe he likes to stare at this particular picture because it reminds him of how he left you. How couldn’t it? With those glittering eyes full of tears, your lips made up in a deep frown, the devastating heartbreak painted across your features, the polar opposite of your photo. 

Levi didn’t deserve you then and he certainly does not deserve you now. Not your smiles, not your tears, not your existence in his life. His palm flips over, running his knuckles gently across your cheek. Oh how he loved you, how he still loves you. 

But oh how he had told you he didn’t anymore.

“What do you mean?” You had asked so quietly, so softly. “What happened?”

Levi realized he was holding you back, that’s what. “I’m sorry.”

“Levi,” you pleaded, your pretty eyes becoming puffier and bigger by each passing moment. “We can talk, please, can we please talk?”

He hates himself, you should too. “I already packed my things, I signed a lease on another apartment. I’ll make this as easy as I can, for both of us. It’ll be like I never existed.”

You had laughed in his face then, not one of humor, but one of disbelief, “What do you fucking mean you’ll make this easy? I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Do it. Say it. End it. “I don’t love you anymore. I haven’t for a long time.”

The floor disappeared beneath his feet, the earth ready to swallow him whole, but time left him suspended, frozen in midair. Your fluttering lashes and shallow breaths were the only movements he could see, the edges of his sight turning black and he stared on in horror. Unblinking, he stared, drinking in as much of this sight as he could. He deserved it, deserved to see destruction he had single-handedly caused. 

But then you sniffled, hope bleeding into your wobbling irises, “Do you think we work this out? We could go to counseling, talk about our problems, fix this, whatever. I’ll do whatever I have to do, just, please, please tell me you won’t leave.”

“There’s nothing you can do. It’s how I feel. I can’t make myself feel something that isn’t there.” 

“Is there someone else?” You sounded so broken, clinging onto the last shred of sanity you possessed, trying to find reason in the madness.

He lied for the second time, whatever would make you give up on convincing him to stay, “Yes.”

The noise you released was gut wrenching, a wail so harrowing it permanently scarred Levi. It was the last time he felt an emotion so strongly, so overwhelmingly, he nearly fell to his knees and confessed the real reason as to why he was leaving you.

You weren’t seeing your friends anymore. If you weren’t working, mulling over a job you adored, you were spending every moment at Levi’s side. You had been offered a promotion, but it came with the cost of giving up on the life you had with him, the home you’d built together. Levi didn’t particularly love his own career, but he wouldn’t be able to leave this place. Not unless Erwin and Hange were packing up alongside the two of you, not unless he could pick up his mother’s grave and find a nice patch of soil in a promising new city for her remains. It’d be too selfish to ask you to give up on your dream, especially on him.

Levi is selfish and narcissistic and all the awful, terrible things you’d called him in that moment. He deserved every insult, every venomous snarl from your beautiful mouth. After you were done, shaking with sobs and hugging your body so tightly he could see the bones in your knuckles, he left, swearing to himself he would never love again if this is what love truly looked like.

The next, and final, time he saw you, you weren’t as unkind. He despised it, how sweet you had acted towards him. Helping him pack the rest of his things, offering to cook him lunch or brew a cup of tea before he headed out, politely nodding when he had declined.

“Sorry,” you had giggled softly, rubbing your palm over your opposing forearm. “I’m just trying to make an excuse to get you to stay longer.”

How many times is he going to have to break your heart in order to let him go? “It’s not a good idea, you know that.”

“I know, but,” you casted your gaze down to the floorboards, still holding onto your arm. “It hurts.”

In a lapse of cognisant thought, stupidly assuming you were referring to your arm, he asked, “What?”

“Loving someone who doesn’t love you,” your smile was so sweet, so sad, so defeated. “All I want to do is try and convince you to work this out, to work us out.”

“Are you going to?” He might’ve let you if you tried one last time. “Try?”

You shook your head slowly, your voice a whisper in the wind, “No.”

Levi’s hold tightens on your photograph. It was what he wanted, wasn’t it? He wanted you to be free of his shackles and chains, and he got it. Was it worth the cost? Maybe, maybe not. Levi doesn’t like to think much about anything these days.

He dares himself to flip the picture over, to stare at the back of the paper in his hand, to dig himself deeper into this pit of nothingness he exists in. Torture yourself a bit more, Levi insists to himself. Go numb. Do it.

In your messy writing, black sharpie swirling together, a message — Happy birthday Levi! Thank you for being in my life. I hope you like the wallet. I put this picture in here so you have me wherever you go! I love you handsome!

You ended up taking that promotion in the end. You moved away about a couple of months ago to that propitious new city, that glimmering new life, leaving Levi behind. Just as if he had never existed, just like he wanted.

Levi’s stare is vacant as he takes your photo in between his fingers and rips your smile in half. He rolls down his window and discards the shreds into the rain, turns the key in the ignition, and tries his hardest not to feel a single thing as he drives away.

LACHERI © 2022: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations.

#lacheri prompts #tw: angst #tw: cheating #levi x you #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFXIV - Heavensward)

something something award-winning something something It's the first expansion!!! Heavensward admittedly isn't my favorite out of all of XIV soundtrack-wise, and it really was hard to not just make this Favorite Alexander Music, but like, it still rocks, and the only reason I feel like this is cause the vibes just aren't mine stupid religion elves how dare they hate dragons; it's still amazing. Let's jump (like a dragoon!) right into the list!

5. Voidal Manifest I love the Void Ark music. I love the organ and the melody, and this is my favorite song in the entire raid. The crazed, skittering nature of a lot of the instruments, the choir, and the really cool waltz section: it's all super cool. I also really love the short intermission before the song loops again, where it has the melody play really quickly with like, evil christmas instruments?? It's just a really fun song to listen to.

4. Heavy Rain This is probably the strangest pick I have in this list, and I bet not a lot of people ever paid attention to it. This plays exclusively in the top of the Sea of Clouds, in the very small enemy Vanu Vanu area. It's just, a banger for no reason? Extremely fun rhythm, making the otherwise slower melody really upbeat and bouncy. I love the really strange noises in the backing, as well as the marimba heading the song. Heavy Rain is a really addicting song, and I wish it played in more areas that I was more commonly in so I could hear it more also insert joke about team aqua and kyogre

3. Metal When I was really starting my XIV fever, I would listen to the soundtrack, seeing what might be ahead; Metal was the standout during that time for sure. I was so excited to reach the Alexander raids to listen to this song alone, and GODDAMN do those raids not disappoint! The entire raid is full of bangers!!!! The intro with the anvil striking noises as well as the rhythmic guitar really giving that machine vibe, and Koji Fox's voice sounding like a robot as well??? It's so cool. I love how similar to my previous favorite primal songs, this song sounds like it's sung by the summoners of the primal, in this case the Goblins, being entirely sung in gobbiespeak, these silly little words threatening to break and maim and end you with various machine onomatopoeia being thrown in? It's such a cool song, I love singing along to it. A part I really like that I want to point out to other than like, the rest of the song, is "THE END OHHHH THE END Y E S THE ENNND".

2. Fiend Fiend is something that I would listen to on the radio growing up; this is some fuckin hot topic 2000s edge metal, and I love it (I know the technical genre is nu metal/industrial metal, but I just find it funny calling it hot topic music). This song slaps; it uses a lot of really cool noises, the lyrics are super fun to listen to, especially with that really heavy beating in the background. I absolutely love the chorus, something about how it sounds is addicting to my ears. Lore/meaning wise, it's really cool how this song gives more character to Sephirot, giving him that corrupting nature to create dependence and a power dynamic, like a devil (even though he's the fiend and not the demon). Shoutouts to this song also having Powerman 5000 say "you stole our song" (it does sound similar).

1. Rise As I've pretty much said twice now already; The Alexander raids have the best music in this entire expansion. Hell, if it wasn't for Pandaemonium existing (spoilers for later), it would easily be my favorite raid soundtrack in the entire game. Rise is an absolutely outstanding finale to this amazing raid featuring one of my favorite summons in the entire series. That intro alone: the siren noise as this giant machine shoots a fucking laser at you, and Alexander Prime himself revealing his wings ala FFIX when the lyrics pop in, it's amazing. Absolute props to Koji Fox for his rapping in this song ("Keep the lightning bottled, throttled, throttle to the finish" in that short time??? holy shit?????). The singing really is my favorite part of this song, especially the chorus with A TO THE L TO THE E-X ANDER it's so fucking cool! The instrumental isn't the main star of the song for sure, but it makes a perfect support to the lyrics. The guitar and drums just give that rock that you can bang your head to. I love in the Primals version where they also interrupt the song midway through with Stasis Loop, just like the fight. It's a final boss song I would have never expected going into this game originally. (SONIC BOOM!)

Honorable mentions go to: Teardrops in the Rain (literally almost made it), Solid, Jewel, The Hand That Gives The Rose, Unbending Steel, Limitless Blue, Woe That Is Madness, Ink Long Dry, Aetherpause; Sins of the Father, Sins of the Son; Locus, Metal - Brute Justice Mode, Exponential Entropy, Moebius (basically the entire Alexander OST), Equilibrium, Penultimania, and Infinity.

#final fantasy #final fantasy xiv #textpost #jared's final fantasy music opinions

[eddiediazes]

okay for fic writer appreciation day i’d like to shoutout both some friends and some writers i just admire, and particularly some fics i haven’t had a chance to rec yet but that i truly love!!! this is gonna be long-winded so i’ll put some under a cut

my evergreen by my beloved pal @colonoscopys - this fic!!!!!! god this fic. there are a few truly beautiful fics in this fandom where buck and eddie coparent more than one kid but there is really just. something about this one. rain has such a beautiful way with words, that’s true in all of their fics, and here it’s JUST. there are so many parts of this i think about all the time. eddie’s shoulders, mostly. if you know you know. this fic is so gentle, so domestic, so kind, all my favorite things in one big bundle!!! as a big softie i cannot recommend it enough. but also i truly love everything rain has written so honestly go read all of it.

honestly everything @sibylsleaves has ever written is wonderful and gorgeous but i’d like to give a shoutout to all i know since yesterday! this fic builds tension so well, and it has such a great twist with such a great setup up for this kind of misunderstanding. it takes a couple of different tropes i really love and weaves them together in a totally new way, but also has the benefit of being written by @sibylsleaves, who has such a fantastic understanding of the characters that i’m always so happy to read anything she writes so - combine those things and you end up with a truly delicious fic. i’ve reread this one a couple of times lately!

don’t take the money by @hmslusitania - MAN WHEN I. okay so i fucking love time loops man do i ever. and this was the first one i read for this fandom because i read it when i was still fairly on in watching the show and trying not to overspoil like kmsadf EVERYTHING for myself so i would look for fic that was set around where i was - and i found this fic!!!! and i am so glad i did. this fic is fun and sad and heartwrenching and clever and just! it’s everything i love about time loops, it’s got buck trying different things and getting exhausted and figuring out why he’s really stuck, trying things just because he knows there’s no consequences - it really ticks all the boxes for me and it’s so very well-written besides, as basically everything @hmslusitania writes is, all their aus are so amazing and well-crafted, i’ve enjoyed every fic of theirs that i have read and i’m so happy this was the first one i found.

while i’m talking about time loops!! the persistence of memory by @anxieteandbiscuits is definitely due for a shoutout. this one really is gut-wrenching because it’s not even based on a canon emergency but instead on a totally new nightmare BUT! i also love all the tenderness in this fic. there’s some very sweet interactions here between eddie and christopher, and the overall moral that eddie needs to learn to ask for help and rely on the people around him means there’s just such a sense of sinking into the comfort and trust of found family. i love the way buck and eddie interact here, i love the loops where you really get to see just buck’s trust in eddie, for a time loop fic this one really is just so kind which can be hard to find in this trope and i was so happy to see it in the tag and to follow it as it finished and i think it is absolutely worth a read if you too love a good time loop.

@buckactuallys honestly has so many fics i love but i’d love to give a special shoutout to just to help him see (what he’s been missing) because it is. SO fun and original and just an absolute delight to read. i think it was one of the earlier things i read in the fandom, and i was kind of surprised to find a bodyswap fic that also like - does not involve the bodyswap you would expect! but god oh my god it is so much fun. it makes me so happy that this fic exists and pia just executed it all so well - i never stop being impressed by writers who not only come up with an incredible concept but then who also make it just. exceed every expectation, and i feel like pia is always doing that, so. read this fic! and her other fics! treat yourself.

darling, the future’s better than yesterday by @hoediaz - this fic is sOOOOOO good. i’m really outing myself here as someone deeply obsessed with like ilkmasfd time shenanigans but there’s just something SO delicious about buck being there for eddie in some of his most vulnerable moments through some quirk of the universe that really just reached right into my chest and grabbed me by the heart. it’s all so very written in the stars and destined to be together and perfectly complimentary and. Man. truly honestly zoe just writes some of the best stuff in this fandom like the actors au is also obviously so incredible but i just wanted to give a shoutout to this fic because it really just. Hit Me when i read it and i think about it all the damn time - talk about a killer concept and execution

there are honestly so many @fallingthorns fics i could write an entire essay about, but today i will choose shower me with good times because buck’s journey as a father is something that can be SO personal and this fic is. such a lovely little representation of that, the way it moves through time, and buck being cherished and refusing to accept it or recognize it for so long but he IS!!! and he’s a dad. meg just has such a wonderful way of delving into difficult and vulnerable emotional journeys and this fic is no exception - if you love to suffer but be happy about she has really just some truly beautiful fics for that, and this one is a little lighter, but it made me so happy and on FATHER’S DAY no less, so really like. she’s a miracle worker for this one specifically

the definition of love and all things ineffable by @elvensorceress - i feel like the other trend here which is my desperate love for parenting fic is also shining through but kamsdf OH WELL! but anyways this fic is also about like buck just figuring out what love means to him and what it should look like and that journey is so, so beautiful - i read this once and then came back to reread it recently and it really just kind of took my breath away all over again - it finds so many ways to talk about how special what buck and eddie and chris have actually is and i’m so like. invested in that, it’s so much of what i love about this pairing, this fic is a perfect representative of that. so - in summary if you like me cry every day about how buck is chris’ dad and the concept of buck learning to recognize all the love he’s already received, this may be the fic for you!

I FEEL LIKE. there are so many other fics and authors i could wax poetic about but i have to cut myself off somewhere so - i’ll stop here for now but! to all of these authors, i appreciate you deeply, and to anybody looking for more fic to read - here’s some suggestions!

#fic rec

[soul-of-rei]

1, 5, 6, 15, 31, 38, aaaand 40 for the loz asks ! info dump to ur heart’s content 🖤

hi frend !!!!!! i hope youre having a good day and yes i. will not be shutting up here AJSKAKAKA <3

1. Is there a Zelda game(s) that you associate with each season or time of year?

i mean,,,,, the obvious answer here would be Oracle of Seasons for everything AHSHSSH but in reality i never thought about this ?? where i live we really don’t have the four seasons (it’s just either hot or rain) so it’s not a thing that crossed my mind until the ask game. that being said tho, TP does seem like a vv cozy game for fall and WW has the perfect setting and vibe for a summer playthrough. other than that, idk !! interesting question tho <33

5. Favorite LOZ soundtrack?

already answered! WW <33

6. Is there a Zelda game that intimidates you/looks too hard?

i will. never be playing the original LoZ and Adventure of Link </3 i have heard nothing but stories on how stupidly hard AoL is and tbh i don’t wanna stress myself out on that. i’ve also discovered that i get progressively worse with zelda games ?? if the game’s release date is close to or back in the 90′s AJSJAJAJ i noticed it with LA, then it became obvious with ALttP. so overall if it was published before the 2000′s i probably won’t be playing it </3 (with the exception of OoT bc its 3D and iconic SHSHSHS)

putting the rest under a cut bc this post is obnoxiously long otherwise

15. Favorite location within Hyrule?

THIS IS HARD IT DEPENDS </3 if i had to narrow down a specific place above all else, it would be Akkala in BoTW <33 it’s just. a really pretty spot especially with all the multi colored trees <33 i would unironically love to visit a spot like that irl if it does exist. but if we’re talking about areas that consistently appear throughout multiple games it might either be Faron Woods or Zora’s Domain. Lake Hylia also wouldn’t be a bad place to visit if it existed irl :00

31. Hardest dungeon played?

OH GOD HI VAH NABORIS WAS??? UNBELIEVABLY HARD AHSHAAHAH i remember i spent an hour in total on just the terminals, so roughly 10 mins each just. trying to figure out how the fuck to do one terminal. by the time i was ready to fight thunderblight i legitimately had a really bad headache but i still pushed through bc i wanted to do all the divine beasts in one go without leaving for anything. the fight came and i beat it first try but??? the fucking second phase with the metal rods that you’re supposed to magnesis was so hard bc Thunderblight was a headache by itself to reach in time before the rods went off SJSJSJSJS shoutout to Revali’s Gale when i first played through it, i swear some of the areas are literally unreachable unless you already completed Medoh </3

38. Creepiest enemy?

i hate skulltulas. i hate spiders, i hate webs, i hate giant spiders ON webs. they’re only reason why i’m not ok with the Skyview Temple and Ancient Cistern in SkSw. i pretend to not see that one sidequest in OoT with the skulltula family, and if ever i get TP i’m making somebody else do the boss fight in the Temple of Time for me. just. fuck spiders AJSJAJJAJA

40. Most out-of-place thing in the series?

this is kinda like the first question in the sense that i’ve never thought about this?? i think Nintendo does a really good job in tying things together and making everything make sense as to why at happens, at least within the game itself. but imo, i never really liked Astor in Age of Calamity for this kind of reason,,,,, he just seemed like an antagonist that was made without warning, just plopped down in the game bc we already know how the events pre-calamity play out and Nintendo needed to spice things up a bit. imo, they still could have told a compelling story (and arguably, a better one) without him having to exist to antagonize the characters. idk, i just really don’t like him as a character </3

#rei rambles #i am so sorry if this post is painful to read but AJSJAJAJ you knew what you were getting into <33 #and ace we really should talk more !! i love seeing you on my dash and i really appreciate your ask <33

[doesromandoart]

I mean Raine is right but Luz and Eda aren't exactly emotionally prepared for someone to say it out loud yet

#fucking shoutout to raine for existing #I love youuu #eda's requiem #the owl house #toh spoilers #raine whispers #luz noceda #eda clawthorne

[spencersawkward]

top shelf//MGG - part 1

summary: broke and having a bad day, Reader runs into Matthew outside a café. after a couple encounters, his financial support and friendship become something more.

word count: 3k

content warnings: swearing but nothing else!

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

A/N: hi! welcome to my new series. i don’t think this will be super long in terms of parts, but i’ll try to update as frequently as possible for you all. this chapter is pretty expositional, so i’m sorry in advance lol. also i know i made it short but lmk if you want them to be longer. also shoutout my sweet sweet angels @reidsconverse and @voidsfilm bc i would literally cry without both of you. also THANK YOU to @dr-spencerr-reidd for this concept bc i probably wouldn't have written it without your ask!! sending hugs :)

you throw your phone down on the passenger seat with a frustrated groan. after everything that's happened today, you're now stuck on a congested street with your car barely inside the parking spot alongside the sidewalk.

your screen sits there beside you, blank and unresponsive, and you know you're going to have to go inside the coffee shop to ask to use their phone and call Triple A. of course it's not working because nothing is working today. you might as well just sit in your car and cry.

but you can't, because you have a huge project for work that you need to get done by next week, and you've already procrastinated enough. a red glow from the headlights of other cars on the street shine through your windows like melted wax, distorted by the rain. it's been pouring all day.

bracing yourself for the onslaught, you grab the old umbrella from the foot well of the passenger seat and open the door of your car. the torrents hit your body like a wall of ice, soaking you as you try to get to the safety of the café. the umbrella helps a little, but then you get to the overhang and have to actually close it before you head inside.

your fingertips slip around the metal, trying to shove the thing closed while water drips off the bridge of your nose. it's frustrating. your footsteps are still determined as they move towards the entrance, but you're distracted by the stubborn nature of the object, so you don't see the man walking out.

it's not even a bodily collision, really. it's so much worse: the sopping material of the umbrella pokes him in the stomach, knocking the hot cup of coffee all over his sweater.

your eyes widen.

"oh my fucking god, I'm so sorry--" you stutter over your words, completely at a loss. his face is twisted up in an expression of concealed pain. it can't feel good to have hot coffee seeping through your clothes after being prodded by a piece of metal. you move your wet hair out of your face in order to look at him full-on.

"it's fine, really." he gives you what's supposed to be a friendly smile, but looks more like a grimace. your stomach twists; he's hot. like, if you saw him at the bar you would stare at him all night kind of hot.

"no, it's not," your face heats up, despite the cold, damp air. "let me buy you another coffee."

"I--" he glances down at his sweater, which is knitted with cute foxes on the front, then back at you. he pauses a moment and you have to bite down on your tongue to keep from collapsing. he's considerably older than you, but he doesn't dress or act that way. maybe late thirties, if you had to guess. "sure. thanks."

a flowering relief in your chest, partly because he doesn't seem angry and partly because you'd like to look at his face just a bit longer. your eyes stay on his until someone walks through the door of the café and reminds you of where you are.

without a word, you brush past and go into the building, him trailing behind.

Matthew watches as you walk ahead, your clothes spattered with rainwater and your hair somewhat messed up, too. he smiles to himself at the way you almost bump into the corner of a table, nervousness evident in nearly every movement.

you head to the counter, setting your hands on the granite while the barista checks out your unkempt appearance.

"hi," you smile at her before realizing you have no idea what this guy wants. you turn around and see him standing slightly behind you, suppressing a smile. he can tell how flustered you are, and now you look like a fool. "what coffee do you drink?"

"can I have a medium Americano, please?" he asks the barista with a friendly smile. he's got straight teeth, dimples... holy shit. you wish he had been unappealing so that this whole situation would be less humiliating.

you pay for his drink before getting out of the way, both of you slowly walking to the pickup counter.

"again, I'm really sorry. that stupid umbrella." you shake the thing at your side, raindrops falling to the floor. you run a hand through your wet hair.

"it's okay. I appreciate you getting me another cup." he flashes that smile again and you remember that his sweater is all stained. before you can think to do anything else, you pluck a handful of napkins from the self-serve station and start to dab at the material.

he looks down at you for a second, surprised by the way you grab his clothes. Matthew feels your hand pressing into his stomach innocently, and he feels himself blush a little. it's only when you pull away that he's able to regain his head.

"it's still bad," you throw away the napkins and re-evaluate the garment. "jesus christ, it's a nice sweater, too."

"hey, it's totally fine. I can just wash it out." he lets out a slight chuckle, and the sound makes your heart flutter. he's got a dad laugh. deep in his chest.

"baking soda and water." you say abruptly. he frowns.

"what?"

"to get the stain out? I use baking soda and water for coffee stains and it usually works." you explain gently, your eyes meeting again. his irises are a brownish hazel color, warm. the laugh lines by them are charming.

"oh," he grins. "do you get coffee stains often?"

you twist your mouth to the side and glance at the windows of the coffee shop. he's teasing you and you'd be remiss if you said you don't want to play along. "more than I'd like to admit."

you can feel him looking at you with that stupidly brilliant smile and it's really setting you off-kilter. someone shouldn't be that attractive; it's not fair. and yet you want desperately to stare, if purely for the sake of aesthetic enjoyment.

"I'm Matthew." he extends his hand, which is decorated with a series of rings. you realize that you don't even know his name.

"Y/N." you shake. his fingers are softer than you expected.

"nice to meet you, Y/N."

"and under such fortuitous circumstances." the corners of your mouth turn up as you relax a little.

he laughs at your words, the delightful ring of it interrupted by a new Americano showing up on the counter. he glances at the to-go cup, then at you, then goes to get his drink. you wish you knew what he was thinking, but he's not displaying anything past friendliness.

"well, um." something like disappointment settles in your stomach as you recognize this will be the last of your interaction. there's no reason for him to stick around, and you need to get back home to work, anyway.

"I'll let you get back to your day." Matthew doesn't seem nervous, just unsure as he grips the coffee in his hand. you open and close your mouth like something impressive enough to keep him here will come out. you know it won't.

and then you remember the state of affairs, the existence of your useless car and the useless phone in the front seat, how you're going to have to call Triple A and then your roommate to come get you.

Matthew realizes that you aren't going to say anything and he gives you one last smile and an awkward wave before turning to go. you watch in silence as he crosses the room to the door. two more seconds until he's out of your life forever. so of course you choose this exact moment to speak.

"wait."

his head jerks suddenly to look at you. this is embarrassing, but you have nothing to lose.

"can I... borrow your phone?"

Matthew tilts his head to the side slightly, frowning as though deeply confused. and you suppose it is a strange thing to ask, especially given that you're a younger person and most people your age carry their phones everywhere. "sure." he walks back over to you, pulling his cell out of his pocket.

"I just--" you fumble with the device while you decide how to phrase it without sounding like a pathetic mess. "my car keeps breaking down and my phone battery is, like, totally fucked, so it just turns off and on constantly and it’s still in my car but it’s raining and I just wanna see if it’s back on so I can call my roommate." you immediately cringe at yourself. the rambling isn’t cute.

he’s not too bothered by your panicking, though, his mouth only forming an O shape. "it’s no problem."

you dial your number, fingers trembling while he waits. he's turned his eyes to the rest of the coffee shop, but it still makes you nervous that he's standing right there. you put the cell to your ear and pray that it rings out.

you’re greeted by the sound of your own voice telling you to leave a message. great. with a frustrated sigh, you hang up and Matthew gives you an inquisitive expression.

“it’s still off,” you explain. “I’m gonna call my roommate.”

he nods and shoves his hands into his pockets while you punch in the other number. for a split second, you peek his way and admire his side profile. he really is something to behold; a model, maybe.

"hello?" good thing Cecilia has no problem answering unknown numbers. you bite your lip.

"hey, it's me."

"Y/N? whose phone are you using?"

"uh, someone I just met--" you frown as you try to find a way to describe him without something as insulting as a random guy. "anyway, my car broke down so I was wondering if you could pick me up."

there's a pause on the other end of the line, like the movement of sheets and the slightly disappointed groan of another person. she probably has her boyfriend over again. "sure, of course. where are you?"

you give her the address and hang up before dialing the car repair company. Matthew gestures to a table off to the side so that you two don't need to stand, and then you sit down across from him. you're so distracted by the person on the other end of the line that you don't even think about it.

Matthew twists his rings on his fingers. he's fidgety and it's sort of cute. you try not to stare at his hands, at the black spot of ink on the outside of his pinky. either he writes a lot or he's an artist. you have to focus on the table in order to keep from blushing.

finally, you finish up with the phone and hand it back to him. "you're a life saver."

"do you want me to wait with you until your friend gets here?" he gestures out the window. your immediate reaction is to say yes. it'll be awkward to sit here alone without your phone, without coffee. but you don't want to keep him any longer than you already have.

"it's okay, I'm sure you have places to be." you smile accommodatingly. he chooses his next words carefully, it seems.

"I don't, really. but I'll leave you alone if that's what you want, too." the way he speaks, offering his company without trying to impose... something about it makes your heart melt a bit. you appreciate his thoughtfulness. it makes you want to know more.

"okay," you nod as you make your decision. "if you wanna stay. it shouldn't be too long."

"great," he settles back into his chair, the light from the café lights above you reflecting off the lenses of his glasses. "why does your car keep breaking down?"

you exhale sharply at the thought. "that's a really good question, because I don't know the answer. it's super old and I'm too broke to afford a new one."

he nods.

Matthew's mind turns to different avenues at this knowledge. he knows you're young and that usually means that there isn't a lot of spare income. and he doesn't know if you have a job. but what he does know is that you've got an energy about you-- a sweet, well-intentioned manner that draws him in. every once in a while throughout the conversation, you throw out certain phrases that hint at a quick-witted intelligence.

you're funny, but not boldly so. and when you two get on the topic of how you ended up rain-soaked, shoving your way into a Los Angeles café, you tell him about your day.

"--and I have this shitty job right now working for one of my old professor's friends, so it's not like I can afford to constantly repair the damages. all my money is going towards my savings so I can pay for grad school, anyway." you sigh. he listens intently to your words, and he never shies away from eye contact. every time he nods along, you practically feel your heart leap.

"what do you do?" he asks.

"I write for a wellness magazine, but I'm sort of a fraud." you joke.

he laughs. "why's that?"

"I don't know, a lot of it is about different yoga methods and meditation, stuff like that-- but I don't do any of that in my daily life." you admit. it should be embarrassing, but you don't feel ashamed of the fact. he seems to find it funny.

"working your way toward a different kind of job, then?"

"I'm hoping for a more editorial role, honestly, but..." you lift your eyes to his. they're bright, he notices; full of a deep-rooted hope. "gotta start somewhere, right?"

"very true." Matthew wants to tell you just how much he understands, about the roles as an actor he's taken and the hours he spent making films in college, just hoping that one day he'd be able to make things on his own, but he doesn't want to scare you away or sound like he's bragging. it's not your fault you don't know who he is.

"sorry," you speak through a silence he doesn't realize he's left between you two. "I've talked your ear off and you don't even really know me. what do you do?"

"oh--" Matthew actually blushes this time. you see the pink creeping up his neck. "I'm an actor."

in the same way they did when you ran into him, your eyes widen. "an actor?"

"yeah," he smiles at the expression on your face. "you know that show, Criminal Minds?"

the name is familiar, but you've never seen an episode. "yeah, of course."

"I'm in that."

you don't know a lot about the program, but you've heard it talked about and you know that it's a popular show. so this guy is an actual actor, not just some LA wannabe. that makes him about five times more intimidating. you feel even more idiotic for not seeing it before.

"oh, shit," the words tumble out. Matthew grins at the bluntness of your reaction, and you scramble to recover. "sorry I didn't know who you are."

"no worries!" he laughs it off. "it's not a big deal."

"do you like it?" you ask. "being famous, I mean."

he shifts in his seat for a second as he makes a face like he doesn't know how to answer. you wonder if there's something deeper to him that you just haven't seen, yet. secret feelings about the subject. "I'm really not very famous, but I love the work."

genuinely humble. you can see it in his face, the sparkle in his eyes. and maybe he's just charming and you're just a girl blinded by his attractiveness, but your gut tells you that he's being real.

this time, you're the one who falls silent. admittedly, you get a little in your head sometimes. and it makes sense, now, the smoothness of his behavior and the sheer beauty of his face. this is a show business city-- of course he's famous.

Matthew's phone rings and he jumps, as if jolted from a dream. your attention moves immediately to the screen and you recognize Cecilia's number. he pushes the device over to you.

"hello?" your voice sounds far away.

"hey, I'm here. where are you?" she says.

"I'm just inside the café."

"oh, okay, I'll park and come in--" you hear the click of a seatbelt and start to panic. she can't see you in here with him.

"no!" you say too loudly. Matthew's head jerks up to frown at you.

"why not?" Cecilia asks, confused.

"no reason," god, you're a bad liar. "I'll come out and we can wait for the Triple A person in your car." you and Matthew make eye contact again. he gives you an understanding smile. your stomach flips.

"sounds good." she hangs up and you grab your umbrella. time to go.

"thanks for letting me use your phone." you stand, not really wanting to say goodbye but also lacking a reason to stay. he remains in his spot, seemingly now settled into this little corner of the café. it sort of suits him, this place. all cozy and slightly strange.

“happy to help.” you notice the tip of his tongue dart out over his bottom lip as if deliberating whether or not to say anything further. but he doesn’t and you feel awkward just standing there by the table.

“I’ll, uh…” you could ask for his number. but that would be weird, right? he doesn’t really seem to have an interest, anyway. “I’ll see you around, then.”

“yeah. it was nice to meet you, Y/N.” he gives one more of those killer smiles and you turn around, almost bumping into a display of coffee beans before correcting yourself and heading back outside.

taglist (lmk if you want to be added or removed!): @la-vie-en-amour1 @reidsconverse @voidsfilm

#mgg #matthew gray gubler #mgg x reader #fic #sugar daddy mgg #matthew gray gubler fanfiction

[troofless]

Just finished Blazing Blade Eliwood Hard Mode! Here are my thoughts:

Lyn is ok I guess but I don’t get the hype around her especially when her stats are like /that/

Her Sacae story and her pride in it is pretty cool character tho

Pretty cool design too I must say, that ponytail, outfit, and thighs?

Also her Str is pathetic she can’t one round stuff in late game so I ditched her, and the fun part is that she caps Spd so early on, but as they say, 2 x 0 is still 0

The cutscene with Eliwood holding Ninian and barging in like a hero: WHOOOOOAAAAHHH YEAHH

Boss abuse in that one Lyn chapter ftw

haha cheesing 80% of Lyn’s maps because enemy is only 1 range and don’t move

FUCKING RAIN FUCK OFF AND DON’T COME BACK

Hector best character in the entire game by a stretch, also his conversations with his retainers Serra, Matthew and Oswin are so lively and fun

Priscilla is the Cerrine inheritance of dodge tank but worse

She’s still good tho

Immediately A supported her with Raven kek

ARENA ABUSE ARENA ABUSE ARENA ABUSE ARENA ABUSE 

save state abuse heh ‘hard’ mode

PENT STOP KILLING MY EXP I WANT THE GAIDEN CHAPTER

PENT AND LOUISE ARE SO LOVEY DOVEY HHHHHHH

Oh the struggle of wanting to use Pent, Lucius, and Canas all at the same time

Sain cap Str so early on my homie

So when does Marcus fall off again

Why isn’t Steal mechanic a thing in later games :(

What do you mean I can’t promote Matthew because he can’t steal stuff as an assassin :(

Shoutout to my homies, Javelins, Hand Axes, Killer Lances, and Killer Axes, you guys carried the game (oh and Fire/Elfire and Flux if I must)

Wow Heath is kinda shit for a Wyvern Rider, why are you getting doubled by everything in existence

I love Hector so all my stat booster items went to him (and Canas cos I heard he was good)

Hector... does not do the punching skill animation and I learnt that it was fanmade :(

Umm so I killed Vaida but she comes back as a recruitable unit right? (she does not)

also I managed to kill her by tanking with Hector and bum rushing her with Sain and Marcus (should have used Luna ugh), and she lived but Eliwood dodged one of two of her double hits lmao so lucky 

oh wow we have to save Zephiel... that’s cool we get to see what he’s like before Binding Blade (except for the sad part where even though Hellene makes up with her son he still becomes evil so)

Zephiel and Guinevere as kids are precious and must be protected, they are siblings that love each other even though they are not and that’s so precious too

ah shit Ninian and Eliwood are semi-canon but I’ve already got an A support for him and Hector I AM SORRY

and yes Eliwood/Hector should be a bigger thing but it is not so :( I’m just gonna sit here and sigh

what do you mean Ninian is a dragon

so if Eliwood and Ninian have Roy, and Roy gets Durandal... does Durandal compel Roy to stab himself

and just when I was wondering ‘the final boss has to be a dragon, right? but so far there’s been no mention of a dragon in the game’ there it is

So semi-canonically Eliwood fucks a dragon. I feel like this is important Fire Emblem lore

I have never used any of the Dancer rings at all, surely Hector Hard Mode will rectify that when I come to it 

Oh wow we got Sol Katti and promotion for Lyn, still gonna ditch her

Is... Athos... strong? I don’t think he’s that strong in the final map, he’s strong but has a real chance of getting killed

I now understand the power of Luna Tome Cheese against late game  and final boss

Final boss being just a random ole dragon is like :/

wait what out of nowhere Hector is marquess what happened to his brother yo

Starting Hector Hard Mode thoughts:

Boss abuse in that one Lyn chapter ftw, Sain gets promotion cos I’m trash

Also I made have no save states and I restart the chapter when I make a mistake so that was a thing

Oh no we get to the first map with only Hector and Matthew? Fck I should have trained Matthew more

The cutscenes with Matthew phasing in and out of existence was so funny and I loved it, pls more interaction with Hector and Matthew

Oswin tank ftw

THAT MErLINUs CHAPTEr FUCK YOU

why is the AI so smart that they retreat to forts to heal instead of diving in to be killed huh

oh bosses move now time to play hide and seek with them

literally shuffling hector back and forth between choke points because no one else can tank other than Oswin (Marcus goes to the village and returns to find himself blocked off from rejoining the centre island for the rest of the map :/)

Amazing how Hector Hard Mode makes you turtle every map cos no one can tank more than 2 hits but Oswin and Hector (and yeah Marcus goes to Villages and kills a bunch of people on the way)

gonna A support Lyn and Hector because that’s how I planned it (Eliwood/Hector and Florina/Lyn in Eliwood and Hector/Lyn in Hector Mode even if Lyn is suboptimal lmao)

I Am Literally Fearing Battle Before Dawn

#fe mumblings #troofless plays games

[stoatwashere]

shoutout to the guy who's apparently my boyfriend who has showed up in 2 dreams of mine like 1-2 months ago and even tho he doesnt exist he never seems to be able to leave my mind

ight anw here are bulletpoints abt him bc im a simp and proud

- hates getting wet in the rain but danced in the rain with me

- gives the warmest hugs i swear he's an actual human heater

- how does you has the softest and best smelling hoodies

- who likes to boop my nose when i get grumpy

- i hate my nose its an insecurety + he loves my nose its his fav thing abt me = chaos

- whenever i use his hoddies i got sleeve paws bc its so big, which leads to him tying the sleeves together as he jst stares at my nose and boops the living crap out of it

- also hugs me whenever the sleeves are tied bc that way i cant escape

- his hugs last so long

- im melt in hug

- also clings onto me like a koala

- i do that to him too so im not complaining

- who has the actual best sister in the entire world stan her for clear skin

- who's mom makes thE BEST chocolate soufles

- whos dad makes the best like stew or whatever i swear it tastes so amazing words cannot describe-

- who has the most handsome accent ive ever heard

- who literally his voice is softer than room temperature butter

- who's love language is a mix of quality time, gifts and acts of service

- which may i say mans spoils the living shit out of me

- like he literally showers me in gifts like brO I DONT DESERVE THESE LIKE REFUND THEM AND INVEST THE MONEY OR STH

- i envy how soft your hair is like- ajdhsjkf my gosh

- pls he took me out on my dream date like- im gonna cri

- is a cat person and has 2 rescue kittens he found abandoned in a box at the side of the pavement while we were having a walk in an open field

- he took me to a lavender field and just- picnic date. pls i will cry he made brownies w his mom's signature recipe- sdhsfhsf im in love

- he insists on feeding me almost everything that i will consume bc he likes babying me bc im shorter than him-

- like oKAY I GET IT UR OVER 6 FT (6 ft is 182cm btw)

- some how found my fav flowers and gifted a bouquet of them to me on a normal day jUST BECAUSE

- LIKE IT WASNT AN ANNIVERSSARY OR BDAY OR LIKE ANY FUCKING THING HE JST GAVE THEM TO ME bECaUsE???

- like bro deutzia flowers are rare ;-;

- he grew deutzia in his greenhouse ever since then bc theyre pretty hard to find and bc i like deutzia

- pls im so soft

- i liked to hang out in his greenhouse a lot bc it was jst so aesthetically pleasing and the environment was jst so serene and calming

- also the kittens likes to hang out there too and its just always so pretty

- i liked to read there and do like homework and assignments there or jst hangout and stroll around

- sO HE FRIKING MADE THIS ONE AREA JST FOR ME TO CHILL IN???

- LIKE HE SET UP A CHAIR N LIKE COFFEE TABLE THERE FOR ME???

- JUST BECAUSE???

- LIKE HELLO???

- literally everyone i knew hardcore approved of him and liked him as my bf sm i swear i-

- in these dreams (fuck why must this be a dream) i lived in london and so did he (we dont live together)

- my parents didnt live in london bc they live in my native country, his parents live in london tho (but like he doesnt live w em he lives alone as do i)

- hIS PARENT WOULD BE LOWKEY UPSET IF HE VISITS AND I DONT COME WITH HIM

- LIKE ONE TIME HE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID HIS PARENTS SAID THEY MISSED ME AND TOLD HIM TO BRING ME NEXT TIME???

- I- I WAS HAVING EXAMS IM SORRY-

- speaking of exams dude he's so supportive

- like i was studying once and he jst sat there ready to tutor me whenever i needed

- he read my textbooks and studied them jst so he can help me if i needed help T-T

- also his fashion taste was *cheffs kiss*

-yea thats the end of this idk why or how i remember this much (not complaining tho)

- idek his name or face *cries*

- but i do remember that he's a brunette with wavy soft hair and has heterochromia (yknow the diff eyecolours)

- like his eyes are the most gorgeous shades of brown and green ive ever seen

- im in love with someone who doesnt exist bye-

oh and btw writers you are all welcome to use any of these as your writing prompts (jst give credit pls thanks <3)

#oneshot #headcannon #fluff headcanons #prompts #fluff prompts #writing prompts #boyfriend headcannons #boyfriend aesthetic #fluff headcannons

[thedevilsmemes]

      PINTEREST QUOTES I USE IN MY MUSINGS BOARDS                         ~ A SENTENCE MEME - PART 2

                         Change pronouns as / when needed to preferred pronoun.

“I do not do justice, I do damage. I do not do empathy, I do damage. I do not do forgiveness, I do damage. I do not do mercy, I do damage.”

“Like, you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life.”

“I’m fine, I’ve had worse.”

“I’m meaner than my demons.”

“If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.”

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black?”

“He was like a storm.”

“You want to play dirty? Fine, let’s play dirty!”

{ feels an emotion. } “Who the fuck authorised this?!”

“What the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuck?”

“Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.”

“Goddamn right you should be scared of me.”

“They wanted a monster; I decided to give them one.”

“Seduce and destroy.”

“What the fuck is intimacy? How does that work? Letting… people be close to you? What the fuck?”

“You couldn’t kill me if you tried for one hundred years.”

“I’ll do this my way.”

“I am severely emotionally unstable.”

“What, from the bottom of the heart, the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t take any orders. I barely take suggestions.”

“I send my best regards from Hell.”

“I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter and too hot for you.”

“Me and God, we don’t get along.”

“Be brave, Angel.”

“Self care is drinking three pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight with God.”

{ takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle } “My day was fine.”

“Have I stabbed you? No. Then I am being nice.”

“Holy Shit! I’M the demon living in my house.”

“Sir, that’s my emotional support knife collection.”

“I want an ancient elaborate dagger with my name engraved into the blade as a gift. The only romantic gesture.”

“ ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ I'm a threat!”

“Stop being so defensive! I’m just trying to hit you with weapons.”

“The more knives you have the more valid you are.”

“She’s strong but she’s exhausted.”

“She loves moonlight and rainstorms and so many other things that have soul.”

“My darling, you can’t see it can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you are both full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful.”

“Calm her chaos but never silence her storm.”

“She wears strength and darkness equally well. That girl has always been half Goddess, half Hell.”

“She has been through Hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into the fire and smiles.”

“She’s proof that you can walk through Hell and still be an angel.”

“She is both hellfire and holy water. And the flavour you taste depends on how you treat her.”

“Even the mountains can not hold all you have been carrying.”

“Storm with skin.”

“She’s thunderstorms”

“Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“Butterflies are the Heaven-sent kisses of an angel.”

“She who is brave is free.”

“Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.”

“Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.”

“Girls who run in heels should be feared.”

“Family is everything to me.”

“She’s an old soul that believes in chivalry, romance, and love.”

“I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.”

“I run on coffee and grace.”

“I’m glad I’ve got boobs… the last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.”

“Tell me to put on my big girl panties one more time… and I’ll take off my thong and strangle you with it!”

“Please read all my posts in a sarcastic tone. You know, for full effect.”

“I have one nerve left and you’re dry-humping it, go away.”

“If I offend you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears, eating chips and working on my tan.”

“When she is happy, she can’t stop talking. When she is sad, she doesn’t say a word.”

“Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me.”

“Act like a lady, think like a boss.”

“I know I have friends but I feel I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head.”

“She was special. She combined a mean angel and a kind devil.”

“So much pain for someone so young.”

“She’s one of a kind.”

“Red lips and wine sips.”

“Brave girl, it’s time to love again.”

“She is intelligent.”

“Sometimes, when I say ‘I’m okay.’ I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, ‘I know you’re not.’ ”

“Because I’m not the kind of girl guys fall in love with.”

“I fear I will spend my life, waiting for a love story that doesn’t exist.”

“You’re a woman, use it; bring every man you meet to his motherfucking knees.”

“She denies it but, the truth is, she’s falling in love with him.”

“Hearing your heels click on the floor sounds like power.”

“She loves deeply, regardless of the love she gets back in return and it’s both her biggest strength and biggest weakness…”

“Experience raised her. Hurt taught her. Neither defined her.”

“She was not fragile like a flower was, she was fragile like a bomb.”

“Life is short; make every hair flip count.”

“I’ve always been someone who looks ‘too deep’ into something or someone. That’s because I realised from a young age that there’s always more than what meets the eye.”

“If I say ‘first of all’ Run away because I have prepared research, data, charts, and will destroy you.”

“Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.”

“You think I’m sarcastic? You should hear what I don’t say!”

“She’s a combination of sensitive and savage.”

“Stay classy, sassy and a bit bad assy.”

“She’s battling things her smile will never tell you about.”

 “Ain't you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch?”

“I was told I was dangerous… I asked why? They said ‘because you don’t need anyone.’ That’s when I smiled.”

“She’s been through hell and came out an angel. You didn’t break her darling, you don’t own that kind of power.”

“Watch me. I will go to my own sun and, if I am burned by the flames, I will fly on scorched wings.”

“Her messy hair is a visible attribute to her stubborn spirit. As she shakes it free, she smiles, knowing wild is her favourite colour.”

“She’s strong. But in the back of her mind she doesn’t think that she was meant to be this strong for this long. And she wonders if there is a man out there, somewhere, who understands this.”

“She’s not for everyone and she knows it. People find her different and strange. She dances in the rain, she laughs when she cries and loves through her pain. People fear the unknown and they never knew a girl like her.”

“Don’t tell a girl with fire in her veins and hurricane bones what she should and shouldn’t do. In the blink of an eye, she will shatter that ridiculous cage you attempt to build around her beautiful bohemian spirit.”

“You provoke her until she roars and then get upset at her for becoming the monster you created.”

“Rip out his ego with your fresh nails.”

“She isn’t the sunrise; she’s the fucking sun.”

“You can’t touch a woman who can wear pain like the grandest of diamonds around her neck.”

“Watch your tongue around her. She will bear her fangs and tear you apart with all the grace of a Queen.” 

“If you won’t embrace her madness, then you’ll never taste her magic.”

“Beauty may be dangerous but intelligence is lethal.”

“She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you, deep enough to save you.”

“Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul.”

“I wish that I could say that I am a light that never goes out, but I flicker from time to time.”

“Spoil me with loyalty. I can finance myself.”

“Shoutout to all the people with brown hair and brown eyes! We basic as fuck but we cute!”

“I feel a nap coming on.”

“Is horny an emotion?”

“I just really like thigh-highs.”

“Even though she looks innocent, she is really a perverted demon.”

“She didn’t sob or wail. Her pain was horribly discreet but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound.”

“I don’t rise from the ashes, I make them. I’m the whole fucking fire.”

“Beautiful but destructive.”

“I’m aiming for the ‘she’s a badass and cute as hell but I wouldn’t touch her without asking’ look.”

“Loving me must be so fucking hard and I’m so sorry.”

“Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it.”

“You glow differently when you’re actually happy.”

“She’s magic, that one.”

“Kicked out of Hell.”

“Red hair: the crown you never take off.”

“You’ve got a fire inside.”

“She doesn’t need a warrior, she is one. What she needs is a devout heart, and strong arms to hold her after her battles are won.”

“You are the love that came without warning: You had my heart before I could say no.”

“You want battle? I’ll give you war.”

“True evil is, above all things, seductive.”

“The Devil’s got nothing on me, my friend.”

“Haven’t I fallen far enough?”

“I’m not like them, but I can pretend.”

“I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Now I grow wings and rage, and learn how to kill.”

“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.”

“Though she be little, she be fierce.”

“I know what this is; It’s just myself, talking to myself, about myself.”

“You underestimate my power.”

#roleplay memes #rp memes #roleplay sentence starters #sentence starters #rp starters #sentence memes

[untaemedqueen]

Live, Laugh, Love (M)

Hoseok x Reader

WordCount: 10.9k

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Roomates to Lovers!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU

Warnings: Reader Has Shitty Boyfriend, Marking, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Fingering, Hair Pulling, Secretive Pining,Big Dick!Hoseok, Hoseok Has A Huge Dick, Multiple Orgasms, Body Worship, Cream Pie, Unprotected Sex, Honestly Just Super Sensual And Lovey Dovey Sex

A/N: Gotta give a shoutout to my girls @rougebangtan​​ and @unoriginal-username15432​ for being so lovely reading and editing. I spent a lot of time on this fic and it means a lot to me so I hope you all really love it.

The sea is a miserable temptress. Water flows freely, crashing along the shoreline begging to enrapture you. To take you under the comfort of her salty tears, to bring you home where you feel the most comfortable. She is raw, potent energy waiting to be appeased by the gods. The way the rocks, dry greyscale stones, wait to be blessed by her presence. Wait to be licked with her furious energy, as they sit under the cloudy skies of silver brings a sense of calm. The sea was disastrous, much like you.

You lean back, hands perched behind you as you dig your fingers into the countless golden clusters of sand underneath. Your toes hoping for the same masked feeling as your head lolls back to look at the incoming rain clouds. In the distance, a flash of lightning, spearing brightly with flashes of orange and white; draws your attention and you can't help but appreciate the way the world works. If lightning were to strike down on the sand around you right now, it would turn to glass. Just a quick simple action could completely change up the form of the small, insignificant granules right by your side. A weak fragile granule could turn into something brilliant and hard like glass. Then, it comes to mind. You wish something would change up your form. For something to change up who you are from being insignificant to something hard and strong like glass.

It wasn't always like this. You once laughed and had a spitfire personality. You could joke and jeer with your friends, finding time to go out of your way to put a smile on someone's face because they deserved it. To do small things that would light up a person's heart because you wanted them to radiate a brilliantly happy energy. You almost can't remember what it feels like, to wake up and smile. To sit wordlessly with your friends as they joke and bask in the happy atmosphere. But now there was a hole in your heart, the size of a black hole and it eats at you constantly. Growing bigger in size and waiting to swallow you whole.

The color of the sea draws your attention as your head tilts back down to the vast horizon. With the clouds overhead, they cast dark shadows upon the water, turning the ocean that is usually a brilliant cerulean to a deep viridian. The smell of sea salt and the ocean breeze breech your senses, shrouding you in a false sense of cover. You lay down, letting the sand curve around your limbs, digging them deeper into the recesses of the beach shore. Thunder cracks, a few seconds later lightning lights up the sky signifying the incoming storm. A harsh breeze rolls over your body, waves crash against the shoreline until they crawl back into the ocean leaving nothing but foam behind. Your eyes close, ears waiting for another calming wave break. 

"There's a storm coming, you know." 

Your eyelids go from a light grey to black as something, or someone, covers your form. He found you, like always. It wasn't hard for him to always know where you would be. Your eyes open, head tilting towards the tall man that towers over you. He had on light blue jeans with rips at the knees, a white long shirt with graffiti scrawled over it and a white bucket hat. He crouches down, giving you a better look at his handsome face. As he tilts his head, his brown hair highlighted with pretty blonde streaks falls into his eyes. He smiles widely, lips forming an almost heart as his cheekbones bounce up pronouncing the apples of his cheeks. There he is, the forever best friend and forever roommate coming to your rescue. He sits down on the shore, dark brown eyes with hints of mocha look up at a bolt of lightning as it ricochets through the sky. His fingers dig into the sand before looking over at you.

"Let's go home, little one." You hear the softness in his voice, it’s a gentle hush, as if he was talking to a wounded animal. He holds his hands out, one caked in small flecks of the golden sand you lay upon before giving you a gentle smile. You take his hands with the roll of your eyes before looking back to the sky. The thunderous boom in the clouds shakes your heart as you stand, before your eyes catch the bright white lightning bolt headed your way.

Your apartment is warm as you exit your room, he must have turned up the heat. The hallway is dim, pictures of you and Hoseok line the walls from when you were children. Playing in the grass, catching frogs, eating ice cream. The pictures make you stop, your back leaning against the eggshell wall as you tilt your head. Your smile is so genuine, so happy. You both stand there, small in form with ice cream cones in hand. You can still remember the cool, sticky cream running down your knuckles like a phantom memory. Your smile is wide, eyes on Hoseok’s then chubby face as he licks his ice cream cone. You pull a smile, the corners of your lips quirking up before it falters. You feel no true sense of happiness as Hoseok’s bedroom door opens to the left of the picture gallery. He steps out of his room, brown hair sodden as he hangs his towel around his neck. His hands pull at the ends before looking up at your face. He watches you silently, taking in the misery that encumbers your being before sighing and leaning against the door frame.

“Break up with him.” He whispers, you turn your head to the noise. Face falling as you clear your throat. You watch as small droplets of water languidly fall from the ends of his hair to his bare chest. His golden skin glows in the yellow hallway lighting, and you break eye contact before hearing thunder boom throughout the house. He pushes off of the door frame before wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you away from the pictures that once contained your happiness.

He grabs you by the arms before planting you down onto the beige couch his parents had gifted you both upon buying the apartment. He nods to himself before walking through the living room to the open kitchen and grabbing a mug. His hands work fast. Already knowing what you need before you know it. You put your ankles up on the coffee table, head tilting back to look up at the popcorn ceiling. You survey how uneven they are, every bump in the ceiling a different shape and size. There might be something symbolic about it but you can’t even begin to find the meaning as he holds the mug out in front of you. You grab it without a word, both hands cupping the white ceramic before smelling the notes of lingonberry and grapes. You hum to him, muttering a thank you before sipping on the white wine. He sits down next to you, arm wrapping around your shoulders before turning on the t.v.

This was now a daily occurrence. He would sit with you, watch you while you were in pain but never uttering a word. He once tried, tried to bring you to see reason but it ended up in a fight that broke the both of you. You didn’t talk for months after that. Avoiding each other and slamming doors noisily as if to tell the other person to fuck off. Mindlessly drifting off in your thoughts, your temple lands on his broad shoulder. You can smell his body wash, notes of vanilla and musky oak wood, a scent that is Hoseok in his entirety. He is warm like vanilla, the type of warm that coats your entire being, bathing it in comfort. He is solace, solace like an oak wood forest. He shades you from the sun, gives you cover from the rain. The eternal best friend. The ringing of your phone breaks you out of your reverie, the loud pitched ringer comes from inside your bedroom and you guzzle the alcohol before sighing.

“Gonna end up paying for another cab that he won’t get into?” You grimace at his words, eyes watching how the small amounts of alcohol slosh within the mug before finishing it off and setting it down on the table. You don’t get up from the couch, instead you stare at the television as a random cartoon plays. Watching the small characters jump off of park benches and turn into superheroes before flying off to save the day. Everyone was so brave, even cartoons and here you are. Miserable and too chicken to go answer the phone and tell him to fuck off. The phone silences before beginning to ring again and your lips press into a tight line. You close your eyes as his hand rubs comforting circles on your shoulder. 

He was probably drunk, out with his friends that you couldn't stand. Probably, no, most definitely calling you to get him a cab for him to go home either to you or to his own apartment. Although, according to your best friend he was no longer allowed to step foot into your shared apartment. And, if he did, Hoseok has stated that he will ‘end his entire existence.’ Calling cabs for your boyfriend is a waste of money and most times he doesn't get into the cab because he's too drunk to pay attention. 

“Stay with me. Let’s watch a movie.” Your best friend whispers, running his smooth thumb over the expanse of your arm before pulling back to look at you. His chocolate eyes are pleading, wanting to keep you away from your phone, keep you away from this person who has been in your life for two whole years already. “Please.”

The apartment goes quiet, maybe Allan had given up for the evening. Thunder booms again and you feel guilt beginning to encroach on your heart. If he was drunk, out with unsavory people in the pouring rain you should be there for him. You shake your head to Hoseok, who in turn frowns as you stand up. You can’t help the way that your feet move towards your bedroom knowingly you would be hurt in a few minutes. Because, you love- loved this person before and your heart feels as if you owe him. You feel indebted to him for so many reasons you couldn’t pinpoint a single one. “You don’t love him, Y/N.” You hear from the couch as you round the corner into the hallway. That may be true, you don’t love him anymore; but, you can’t just leave him on his own.

The bedsheets are cold as you slide underneath your comforter, goosebumps produce on your skin as you take a deep breath trying to calm your nerves. You sit up, legs folding as you rest yourself against the light grey headboard. Your phone sits on top of your black comforter, indenting the fabric and looking as if it weighs one hundred pounds. Your eyes drift across the room to the Live, Laugh, Love wooden plaque that has been stationed in the room since you moved in.

With one last kick you shove the box containing all of your favorite books into your new room. The room smells of paint, the scent wafting through your nose and making you light headed as you put your hands on your hips. Your tongue finds your bottom lip as you survey the all but empty room. Only your bed is stationed in the corner by the window, Hoseok so graciously helped put it together telling you to go get the rest of your things from the moving van downstairs. You look at the floor with a raised eyebrow. Your best friend is splayed out, breathing heavily as his bare upper body shines with hard working sweat. His hand pushes back his black hair before putting his hand over his heart. The way he moves has always been gracious, always enrapturing your sights. His closed eyes then opened, his irises were the color of mocha today with warm flecks of honey spread throughout them. Your heart warms, a wide smile graces your face as he sits up shaking his hair out of his eyes. He pats the spot on the wooden floor next to him and you graciously take it. His form turns towards you, crossing his legs as he puts his hands in your lap; you feel your cheeks heat up, a pink blush creeping onto your skin as you tilt your head at your forever best friend.

“I bought you a present that so perfectly represents you.” He tells you, his cheekbones jumping up as he reaches behind him to pull a cardboard box from underneath your bed. 

His hands shake with excitement, mocha eyes never leaving yours as you giggle. This is why you love him, he does things for you that you would never even think to do for yourself. He’s a heart shaking, love bubbling person that oozes this sort of sticky, sweet love that everyone becomes entranced in. He slides the box in front of you, moving himself back before nodding to it. “Open it.”

Gripping the large box, you note its heaviness. An ‘oof’ leaving your lips as you pick it up, Hoseok’s tongue rakes across his lips. His body warbles with excitement as you delicately lift the edges of the box wanting to preserve the wrapping. You take your time, gently peeling back the layer. He stops moving, mouth opening as if he’s seen a ghost before scoffing.

“It’s a box, just rip it.” He mutters, his face falling as you scour across at him. 

“I want to savor it.” Your voice comes out in a mumble as you run your thumb underneath the sealant letting the flap fly open slowly. His hand makes a fist before sliding it underneath his chin as he watches you bite your bottom lip concentrating on making sure the brown box is intact. He lets out a loud fake yawn before leaning back against your bare mattress and stretching out his legs so his feet touch your knees. You lay the box down on your lap before sliding your hand into the now open box mouth. Your fingers grip at something hard wrapped in bubble wrap before beginning to slide it out of the package. Now, you’ve got his attention. Hoseok’s body leans forward, eyes taking in your reaction as you slowly reveal the gift inside.

“Oh, my God.” He whispers before grabbing the back of the box and yanking it harshly. The bubble wrapped gift falls into your lap with a thud and you narrow your eyes at him as he begins to smile. You gently gasp, the heart shaped smile you’ve known your whole life feels so different in this apartment with just the two of you. It feels so intimate, so wholly Hoseok. Your neck heats up, your ears begin to feel hot no doubt turning pink. With a clearing of your throat you look down at the plaque of wood in your lap. The words are blurred by the clear wrapping and your heart lurches with excitement to read what is written underneath. You grip at the protective plastic before tearing it.

“That’s my girl.” You can’t help but snort at his comment, your body bows down before gripping the plastic with your teeth and yanking it open.

“So strong!” The jeer has your eyes rolling with a laugh before pulling out the wooden plank and opening your mouth. Your fingers dance over the engraved oak wood before looking up at him. He winks at you, folding his veiny arms with a smug face as you hug the plaque to your chest.

“Do you like it?” His smugness is over in a second, eyes widening with nervousness as he analyzes your face. Your nod is fervent before looking back down at the wood. ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ is burnt into the oak in scriptive writing. A shiny lacquer has been painted over top, the sheen reflecting in the sunlight that shines through the window on this summer's day. 

“I love it.” His smile says it all, a million watts and perfectly straight teeth greet you before leaning forward and kissing your forehead. An action that he has done his whole life suddenly makes you still. Your arms clutch at the wood before he stands up with a groan.

“I knew you would like it. It fits you perfectly.”

Your phone’s loud ringer breaks you out of your memory and you can’t help but sigh as your head lolls back. Here we go. You grab your phone, thumb shaking before answering the call. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him. Standing idly in the doorway, arms crossed with furrowed eyebrows and a callous expression.

“Hello?” Timid, your voice is small as you answer.

“B-Baby! What the fuck are you doing?!” Allan sounds happy today, a happy drunk Allan is better than an angry one. Your eyes flicker to your best friend as he rolls his eyes.

“Just at home. Relaxing.” There’s a hiccup and a loud burp before voracious laughter from many voices. You feel your cheeks heating up, the coolness of the back of your hand greets your cheeks as Hoseok enters your bedroom.

“Call me a ca-cab, baby. I can’t get home.” You pick at the skin of your lip before opening up the cab app on your phone. Your bed dips with the weight of your bed friend, he crawls underneath your comforter before pulling your body to his chest as the app loads.

“Where are you?” You try to make your voice sound sweet but your chest wracks with unease as if you could feel your boyfriend shrug.

“How the fuck should I know? Call me a cab.” Hoseok’s chin hooks over your head as he closes his eyes, you can feel the muscles of his jaw tensing as you clear your throat.

“You have to tell me where you are so I can call them there for you.” Your best friend’s fingers dig into your arm as he grits his teeth. 

“Fuck you.” The line goes dead and you drop the phone carelessly before wrapping your arms around his slim waist. His lips find your hair, brushing them gently as he waits for the next phone call you know you’re going to get. This best friend of yours, your forever friend holds you down to the Earth, like a heavy stone tied to your ankle. He keeps you grounded when you want to just fly away. “You don’t have to take this. You don’t have to kee-”

His voice is cut off by the sharp ringer, the loud noise pierces your ears and you close your eyes for just a moment before answering the call. “I’m at Glory Pa-Park. Get me a cab.” 

You open the app back up before putting in the information. “I’m going to call them.” You notify your drunk boyfriend, body sitting upright as you wait for his okay. Thumb hovering over the Order Cab button. There’s whispering, laughing, someone saying something about ‘Allan you could do better’ that has your eyes going glossy as you turn away from your best friend to lay your head on the pillow. Your body slinks down, phone just a few centimetres from your face before a tear streaks down your temple to soak your hairline. 

“B-Baby! I’ll call you back!” Allan’s voice is riddled with laughter before the line goes dead. You close your eyes, lips trembling as Hoseok grunts angrily. He reaches over your body, snatching the phone from your hands. You turn your body to retrieve it and your best friend throws it behind him.

“Your phone is off.” Anxiety bubbles in your chest, raring to break free as you scramble to retrieve your phone from behind his back. His skinny but strong arms grip at your body before pinning you to the mattress. Your head gets foggy, as your senses begin to dull. “Give it to me.”

“No.” His hands find your face, smushing your cheeks to look at him. Your chest begins to shake, lungs gripping for oxygen as you gasp for breath. Your chest constricts, tightening like a belt as you grip at his arms. “Hey!” 

His hands pull your face closer to his before looking into your eyes. The concern riddled throughout his chocolate eyes makes you whimper, a strangled sound echoing off of your vocal cords as he widens his eyes. “Relax. You’re with me. You’re safe.” He pulls you into his chest, his large hand rubs at your upper back with comforting circles. There’s the smell again, the vanilla notes with the accompaniment of oak that has your lungs releasing from the tight confines of your rib cage. The cotton of his shirt brings you back to reality as he moves his body on top of your phone, as if to shield it from the world. 

“Lay with me. Just lay.” His lips connect to your forehead and your eyes flutter shut. You lay like this for a while. The both of you say nothing but feeling the others heartbeat as you lay together. Your heart begins to slow, back to a regular rate that clears your mind. His lips never leave your skin as his eyes close. Time seems to flow slowly in this big bed. Your grip on him lessens, your body falling into a secure type of comfort. It isn’t until Hoseok pulls away from your forehead that your heart lurches deep in the recesses of your chest. His eyes look at the wooden plaque on the wall before putting his chin on the top of your head. You could feel the beginnings of scratchy stubble on your scalp as you bury your face deeper into his chest. “Just lay with me.”

You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep, when the bright sun woke you up. The light shines in your lavender painted room, highlighting the uneven streaks that make you feel nostalgic. You can remember when you and Hoseok painted the room on a whim months before you had met Allan. When you still giggled and laughed. Running to Home Depot at 6 o’clock in the morning, running on no sleep and alcohol intoxication to pick up paint after playing one too many games of Go Fish, and betting on your best friend's room or your room to get slathered in paint. He had picked the lavender color, equating it to the way you smell and how pretty it is. You had gotten back, put on old clothes and slapped the paint on the wall and each other in a fit of alcoholic giggles that could only be described as rhapsody. He had painted a heart on the wall, ‘Hoseok Loves You’ that he quickly covered up as you noticed. You raised an eyebrow at him then, asking him what that meant only to be met with paint splattering on your clothes and the tarp he had laid out underfoot. There was a messy paint fight, laughter ricocheting off of the walls until both of your sides hurt before sitting down on the drop cloth and leaning against each other. 

You’re acutely aware of Hoseok’s sleeping body next to you. Your hand finds its way under your cheek as you turn to face him. His lips are parted, shallowly breathing as he clutches your phone to his chest. Your heart pangs, guiltiness washes over you like the tide. He was always by your side, always there for you and you’re letting him down. You’re making him take care of you and you know he always would. Because he's Hoseok. It was ingrained in his being, he was a loving, kind hearted boy that turned into a benevolent man. You grab your phone, sliding it delicately away from him in hopes to not wake him up. Successfully, you take the phone before gently lifting away from him and leaving the bedroom.

The beach was littered with people today. Children run around, screaming as the waves chase them out of shoreline. Foam licking at their small ankles as they cheer and giggle. You make your way to the small outcove that he and you had found when you first moved here. It smells of wet moss and sea spray, the dark stone that encases the place wet with humidity. Moss has begun to grow higher up the walls, almost smothering all of the stone’s color. 

You look towards the horizon, cerulean blue waters ebb and flow graciously as the sun shines down upon it, the sun’s bright rays making a line coming straight for you in this damp sea cave. It fills you with wonder, something so beautiful made on it’s own. A sigh is coaxed from your lips, legs tucking underneath you as you sit down on the cool stone floor. You turn your phone on, before looking back out to the water and watching as a perfectly picturesque sailboat passes. The sail, bright blue, billows in the wind, and your hands clutch together as your phone begins to endlessly vibrate. Small shells catch your eyes as they gleam in the sunlight below the lip of the alcove. Venus combs, Hoseok once equated them to you after you began to date Allan. 

“You’ve turned all spiky and dangerous like them, did you know that a mollusk once lived in it before abandoning it. That’s like you, hollow.”

You feel a tightness in your chest before looking down at your phone.

Allan - 52 Missed Calls

Allan - 48 Text Messages

You love him? You loved him. For the first year. You grew tired of his antics after a year and a half. You wanted to be done after two years. But, something kept you tethered. The insecurities to find someone else? You wasted two years of your life. Would anyone want you after all that. You suffered so many tears, crying until your throat was raw, till the capillaries under your eyes burst. You want to prove that you’re strong. That you can make it through, maybe the darkness will pass and you’ll learn to love him again. But, that seems impossible. You want to learn to laugh again. To smile widely at everything Hoseok says. You want to be able to just watch shitty movies and giggle as the characters make horrible, horrible decisions. You want to be able to hug your best friend without having guilt wrap around you like a cocoon. You want to be at peace.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a hand as it grips the inside of the sea cave. You turn your attention to it before he appears. His face is shaded by the darkness of the sea cave but you still find that he is the brightest thing in the entire place. He could rival the sun. He enters, hands digging into the pockets of his black overalls before leaning against the rock.

“I hate waking up in your bed alone.” His voice echoes throughout the small cavern and you can’t help but cringe at his words. 

“I know.” He pushes himself off of the wall before sitting down next to you and looking down at the venus combs on the golden flecks of sand. With a simple point of his index finger, your throat clenches. Your eyes become glassy as you exhale a deep breath you didn’t even know you were holding. His hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers together and you didn’t even realize they were sweating. You turn your head to him, only to find that his eyes are already on you. You can’t tell if it’s the humidity in the cavern or his gaze but your chest becomes short of breath. His hand comes up in your vision, thumb outstretched to wipe a stray tear that has escaped in your daze. “You deserve the world. You deserve to be happy, you know. Pain and sadness doesn’t suit you. Remember when we used to laugh and have fun? Hmm? Remember that time that we pantsed Jimin in the parking lot of 7 Eleven and left him there with his jeans around his ankles?”

A giggle bubbles up in your throat and you nod closing your eyes. Hoseok delicately wipes at your wet lashes before kissing your temple. “How about the time when we threw toilet paper all over my sisters room because she told us we weren’t allowed to go out to the backyard.” Your laugh ricochets off the walls, head lolling back your body wracks with laughter. Hoseok chuckles to your left and you had almost forgotten what it sounded like. High pitched with a small gasp, he laughs next to you before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “I haven’t heard you laugh in what feels like years.” 

The laughter is short lived as your phone begins to ring, the sharp blare pierces the air before echoing in the cavern and Hoseok’s form shrinks in size. His shoulders fall as well as his arm off of you and you swallow thickly as he frowns. His fingers card through his brown hair before looking at the phone in your lap. He curses under his breath before looking out at the horizon. You can imagine how tiresome it is to watch over someone like a hawk. Making sure they’re always okay and never questioning them even though their actions are wrong. Your eyes glance to the side, watching how he digs underneath his perfectly clean fingernails as if it’s just something to do. You’re hurt but you’re hurting him too. That’s not fair. He’s always been there to hold you, to keep you safe and calm. He’s stopped your anxiety sevenfold and you were selfish. That’s why, your brain snaps once and for all. Your fingers grab your phone before rearing back and throwing it into the ocean.

Hoseok gargles on his own spittle before scoffing. The turn of his head is sharp as the phone makes a ‘ploop’ noise before drowning. “Wh-” You turn to him before hugging him tightly. His arms stutter in movement before hugging you back. 

“What do you think you’re rich? You could have just blocked his number.” You giggle as he hooks his chin on your shoulder, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your lower back as you begin to feel a sense of relief. It washes over you in an instant, like a spring day breeze. Hoseok finds his footing before standing up and holding out his hands to you. “Come on, little one.”

Months go by, your phone has been replaced and the only calls or texts you receive are from your family or Hoseok. They way it should be. Although, there are times where you feel an immense amount of dread, wondering if you had made the right decision. Wondering if you should have waited for things to get worse just so they could get better. Your bed is a constant in the ever changing world around you. Ever changing, as in Hoseok has gotten a girlfriend. You guess when you don't have to watch over your childhood best friend every minute of the day, you could go out and experience real life. You were happy for him, happy to hear his laugh through the walls of your shared apartment. You were happy that he was happy. Probably. That’s what you want to feel. He likes her, Jillian, so even though you hide yourself away in your room whenever she comes around; you guess you like her, too. 

“I’m going out, are you going to be okay here? By yourself?” You look up from your phone at the voice. There he is, forever best friend looking like a million bucks as he fixates a beanie on top of his head. You wish for him to just let out a big yawn and throw back your comforter before laying in your bed and holding you close. Laying with you until it feels as if time itself stops short for you to have a moment of comfort with your best friend. Footsteps break you out of your thoughts. His ears fold slightly at the weight and you smile at him before nodding. 

“I’ll be fine.” He steps into your room before a small hand grips on to his black hoodie yanking him along with her. “Thanks, Jillian.” Your voice is a mere murmur as the door to the apartment slams shut. 

“You shouldn’t do shit like that. I’ve already told you that Y/N is sad.” Hoseok berates his girlfriend before yanking his arm out of her grasp and fixing his clothing. There’s an eye roll that has him stopping in the middle of the street before folding his arms. 

“She always is sad. It’s who she is. Doesn’t mean you have to always deal with it.” Hoseok gives a short laugh, his head tilting back before his hand agiley catches his beanie as it falls off. 

“I don’t always have to deal with it. But, I want to. She means the most to me in this world. You fucking know that.” He seethes to his girlfriend before stepping out of the way for a couple to walk past. “How do you think that makes me feel?! That ‘she means the most to you.’ I’m supposed to just be okay with that?!” 

Hoseok presses his lips together before putting his hands over his face and grunting gently. He takes a deep breath, forcing air into his constricting lungs before sighing. “Let’s go.” 

The bar is noisy and crowded, the smell of stale beer wafts through the air as Hoseok wrinkles his nose. If you were here, you would complain that he doesn’t really like to drink all that much and you should find a different place to go. But, that’s exactly it, isn’t it? You weren’t here, he was with his girlfriend and he still thinks of you. Even as he slides into the booth, even though her hand is intertwined with his. It isn’t your small hand that he finds beside him. It’s hers. Her voice breaks him out of his reverie, he inhales deeply through his nose before smirking at her. His eyes rake over her hair, her eyes even the way her mouth moves as she phrases words and it seems to be off putting. The corners of his mouth turn down as she orders her drink, watching the way she points at the menu, he didn’t even see her pick up. It’s stupid little things that draw his attention, you wouldn’t point your finger and the menu like that. You would tilt your head and puff out your cheeks unsurely. You would side eye him and nudge him to make a decision for you since there were too many options to choose from. You would never wink at someone before handing them a menu, there was not an overly flirtatious bone in your body. You were just you. And Hoseok misses that the most. 

His night goes on for a long time, it seems like it would never end. He misses slipping under your black duvet cover and holding you to comfort you. He misses when you would have to stretch your neck to look up at him because he would always jump up and out of the way for you to crane to look up at him. Somehow along the night Jimin had joined in, the streets have basically emptied as the town hall clock strikes letting him know another hour has gone by and he still isn’t home. “What’s with the face?” He hears Jimin ask as he stops on the street corner, his wrist is held tightly before being forced around his girlfriend's waist. 

“What face?” He grimaces at the action before looking back up at his longtime friend. “You look miserable.” It’s a faint whisper that gets caught in the wind and Hoseok can’t help but swallow before looking back at the Walk sign. He shrugs to Jimin, who in turn rolls his eyes before all three cross the street.

Conversations are short and sweet as they walk Hoseok’s girlfriend back to her apartment. There’s a tension, a man-made tension that he knows he’s created but he can’t seem to find a care in the world for it. He doesn’t care, in all honesty. He just wants to go home.

“Hey! Isn’t that Y/N’s little friend?” The voice is a mere distant memory that comes back sharp in the frontal lobe of his mind as he pulls away from Jillian to turn his body. His jaw tightens, muscles flexing and protruding as he narrows his eyes at the incoming figure. “Hyung.” 

It was a call of warning that Hoseok doesn’t heed. Anger burns through his veins like venom as he finally sets his sight on the man that ruined two years of your life. He wasted them, without even thinking about you. And, Hoseok let him. He sprints towards him, tennis shoes squeaking as he advances. Jimin calls out for Hoseok but it’s a warning he ignores. 

“Hyung!” 

His hand makes a fist as he closes the distance, his feet ache at the sudden movement before stopping and throwing his fist into Allan’s face. The man staggers, hand reaching up to nose as Hoseok shakes out his hand with gritted teeth. He knows it’ll hurt in the morning but the red he sees triumphs over everything. 

“What the fuck, dude?! Over some chick?!” He tilts his head, watching blood begin to leak from the man’s nose. 

“Some...chick?” He snaps. His hands reach out to grab Allan’s neck before arms wrap around his waist, tugging him away from the man. “She isn’t some chick! She’s a fucking angel and you ruined her life for two fucking years, you ignorant bastard! You never deserved her! She fucking cried every day because of you. You fucking asshole!” His words echo throughout the empty street as Jimin drags him down the sidewalk. The bottom of his shoes scuff up as Jimin pulls him past his girlfriend without a word.

“Some fucking chick. I’ll fucking kill him.” Hoseok mutters to himself before flailing his arms and straightening up his body. He shoves Jimin off of him before dusting off his hoodie and spitting on the floor in the direction he came from. Jimin places a solemn hand on his back before looking at Lillian, drawing his attention to her as she folds her arms with a raised eyebrow. He takes her into his sights before pressing his lips together and clearing his throat. The words fly out of his mouth so fast he has no chance to take them back.

“Let’s break up.” Her face contorts as if she’s been shot. Her mouth hangs open as a breeze wafts through the empty street. On the breeze is the smell of lavender, the smell of comfort for him and he can’t seem to find it in him to feel solemn about the words he has just spoken. He becomes entranced by the smell, eyes closing as he takes a deep breath. There’s that relief he wants to feel. It radiates through him like the sun on a cloudless day. And, before he can open his eyes a flash of pain erupts from his cheek. His eyes open wide, his hand reaches up to touch his hot licked skin as Lillian steps back. 

“You’re an idiot. Jung Hoseok.” He swallows thickly before rubbing at his sweltering cheek. Jimin steps in front of his body, blocking him as Lillian tries to advance once more. A hand finds his chest before shoving him back, “We’ll get going.”

The screech that finds his ears almost deafens him, but he can’t feel sorrow. He knows he did the right thing. “Everyone is getting battered today.” Jimin murmurs before fixing his leather jacket and putting his hand on Hoseok’s back as he holds his cheek.

The apartment is warm when he gets home, you raised the heat for him knowing how chilly it can get during the night around here. Your bedroom door opens with a squeak and you rouse at the sound. He stands in your doorway, shoulders drooping before taking off his hoodie. “Seok?” He hums in agreement before padding over the wooden floor and lifting up the comforter. His thin frame slides underneath before wrapping his arm around your waste. You blink blearily, eyes trying to adjust to see him in the dark. His brown hair falls into his eyes as he looks down at you. He grips you tighter, holding you so close as if you were going to turn to dust and disappear. Your eyes adjust, widening slightly when you see his pink, puffed cheek. “What happened to you?!”

He chuckles quietly as you place your hand on his skin. His eyes flutter shut as you rub your thumb over his pronounced cheekbone. “I broke up with Lillian and she slapped me.” You take a sharp breath through your teeth, eyes widening at his admission. You open your mouth to reply but he pulls you into his chest with force that knocks the wind out of you. “I went out tonight and I couldn’t stop thinking of you. Thinking about what you were doing and what you would have been doing if you were out with me. I kept thinking of how much I missed laying in bed with you and how much I love holding you.” 

“I missed you laying with me too.” Your confession is quiet but he hears it loud and clear, a heart smile spreading across his face before kissing the top of your head. Hoseok’s eyes search your own alight with something that makes your heartbeat faster.“This is what it should always be. I don’t want to spend my days falling asleep without you. I don’t want to constantly think about you as if you’re far away. I want you here, in my arms like always. I want to get drunk and go get paint at 6 o’clock in the morning. To wake up with you in bed laying next to me. I want-I want you to love me. Like, I love you.” 

You pull away from his chest, eyes glancing up through thick lashes at his handsome face. This is what it always should be. You and him. Until time stops and falls flat. His eyes glance at your lips before licking at his. One smooth motion that has your neck heating up with a blush. “I’m going to kiss you, and I would really like it if you didn’t pull away.” Your breathing stops, your lungs feel aflame as he closes the distance between you. 

His lips press to yours, soft and agile and time does feel as if it stops. His kiss is heartfelt and full of yearning before it turns into something more. Something needy and explosive. His tongue slips out, licking at the seam of your lips. His hands run over the expanse of your back, running his tongue over yours. A soft mewl is coaxed from your lips, only to be swallowed by him as he rolls you onto your back. His hands find purchase next to your shoulders as he straddles you. He breaks the kiss, only for a moment to utter words that leave your head nebulous, “I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you too.” His lips are back to yours, earth shattering and heart fluttering as his hands dip beneath the cotton fabric of your sleeping shirt. With warm hands he rubs at the skin of your stomach, your body arches into his touch begging for more as your core begins to unfurl in wanting. His lips leave yours to worship at the skin of your neck, hands raising your shirt higher before looking up at you for confirmation. You wordlessly lift your arms, back bowing off of the bed to let him strip you of the material. The shirt is discarded aimlessly as he sits up to drink you in. It dawns on him, how utterly helpless you are under his stare and you wilt slightly bringing your arms to cover your chest. Hoseok clicks his teeth before leaning back down. “You’re gorgeous.”

The wanton sound of his voice gives you solace as he peppers your neck with kisses. Light as a feather before suckling at your soft skin leaving red and pink petals in his wake. You let your arms go lax, hands coming up to run through the thick locks of his brown hair. “That’s my girl.” It’s with that sentence that it all comes crashing down on you, he loves you and in turn you love him. It’s always been this way, always finding comfort in one another and never dwelling on it long enough for you both to realize just how perfect the two of you are for one another. Your chest swells with ardent tenderness as you grip at his hair. His lips trail lower, angling his body downward to be able to taste all of you. He cups your breasts, thumbs running delicately over your nipples as they harden into stiff peaks. Your core shudders, arousal begins to weep from your sex and you’re acutely aware of how your panties dampen. 

His lips shroud your nipple in the wet warmth, gently suckling as his fingers roll and pluck at your other unattended breast. Your soft moans, echo throughout the lavender painted room and earn groans from the man you’ve deemed your best friend for most of your life. His teeth softly rake against the sensitive skin, goosebumps prickling as your mouth drops open. He presses his body half flush against your thigh and you can feel how hard he is through his jeans. Your eyes open, to watch him love on you and you are met with his gaze hot and molten staring back at you. His pupils are blown, making his usual chocolate eyes almost black with lust. With each suckle, his fingers pinch harder until your writhing underneath him. Hips lifting off the bed, begging for relief. He leaves your nipple to attend to the other- but not before suckling at the skin around your areola leaving small marks claiming you as his own. 

His lips pluck teasingly at your other nipple before dipping his hand down your stomach, his hand splays rubbing at the band of your underwear with his thumb. Your moans are growing louder, chest beginning to feel breathless as he pulls away from your breasts with a loud suction noise. It’s then that he leans up to plant a kiss against your lips, so soft as if it were the wings of a hummingbird. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He does it again, sucking your life force from your lungs as he kisses down. Past the valley of your breasts, past your belly button that he gives a gentle nip to. He suckles at the skin about your panties, fingers hooking in the sides before looking up at you.

“We can stop, right now. We can stop and I can go back to my room.” You answer him by lifting your hips, with the bite of his bottom lip he is gently peeling off your underwear. Eyes  alight with wonder as he looks towards your gleaming sex. You can feel how wet you are, how you’re dripping and it’s all for him. He licks his lips, eyes flickering back to yours before throwing your underwear to the side. His hands find your thighs, taking the time to knead and kiss them before spreading your legs for him. “Look at you, baby. Dripping.” His voice is deeper, the bass in his voice encased with lust as he runs a finger down your soaked folds. The pet name has you biting your bottom lip, the corners of your mouth turning up on their own. With a gasp, you watch as he spreads your lips open. Eyes lewdly staring at you, taking you all in. “Fuck. Your pussy is nice.” A giggle escapes your lips, hand covering your eyes as he chuckles up at you. 

Your giggle dies in your throat as he sucks at your lower lips. Your hands grip tighter at his hair, pulling at the roots as your hips bow off the bed. “Taste so sweet.” His eyes are filled with this veneration that sends your walls fluttering, rippling around nothing. His tongue licks at your clit, experimentally waiting to see your reaction. When your hips buck up, begging for more, he begins to lap harder against your swollen bud. You moan his name, his mouth stills before pulling away. A smile spreads on his face before giving a flat lick that has your body sagging into the bed. “That sounds so perfect coming for you, little one.” 

Your head swims with heady pleasure, Hoseok himself seems drunk off of your taste. His eyes roll back as he prods at your entrance with his tongue. The muscle stiffens before entering you, your thighs twitch opening wider for him as you whimper out his name. His hands steady your thighs, soothing rubs of his thumbs keep you grounded as he whorls his tongue around inside you. He finds your sweet spots, where you moan louder for him, where you grip his hair tighter. “Fuck, you taste amazing, baby.”  His voice is a mumble before his mouth is encasing your clit once more. His tongue prods at the nub, licking and caressing until your moans have turned to sobs. His fingers leave the flesh of your thighs to tease your sodden entrance. "So wet for me, baby. You want me inside?"

"P-Please!" You croak out, hands pressing into his scalp as your core begins to tighten. You wanted to feel it, feel that shot of pleasure coarse through you. Your hips begin a lazy grind, rubbing against him for relief as he slips a finger inside. Your mouth opens, tongue licking at your bottom lip and he curls his finger expertly inside of you. He does it once, twice before finding the golden spot. "Right there? You like that, baby? Going to cum all over me?" You nod fervently, your bottom lip tucking between your teeth as your hips begin to buck relently on his outstretched tongue. The tightness feels stifling, your toes curl. Ears ringing with white noise as your heart lurches to feel relief. He adds a second finger, before rapidly tapping the smooth spot within you.

"Gonna...Gonna cum, Seok." He groans in agreement, lips latching back on to give harsh sucks. 

"Cum for me, baby. Show me what a good girl you can be." The tip of his tongue swirls around your clit and the tightness explodes. Like a million stars that light the galaxy, your body feels as light as air, falling boneless onto the mattress underneath as you ride out your high. Hoseok watches you come undone, his mouth detaching from you to kiss at your thighs as the shake from the pleasure. "God, you're fucking pretty when you cum." 

Your blink slowly, your chest begins to breathe normally as he crawls over you. His fingers ghost over your bottom lip, before pressing his own flush against them. Your hands raise up to touch him, fingers dancing over his clothed body before beginning to frown. He had way too many clothes on for your liking. You tug at the bottom of his shirt, his lips forming a smile before giving you a quick kiss. His arms cross, fingers curling around the hem of his shirt before lifting them to reveal his upper body. This is a sight you've seen a million times over and yet, you press your thighs together as want begins to bloom within your chest. Your fingers graze his stomach, small abs defined under his skin. Even in the darkness, his skin still sings out the color of honeyed caramel. The smell of musky oakwood draws you in as his lips find yours once more. His fingers move deftly, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before biting gently on your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth as he pulls away. 

He rids himself of his pants before your eyes fall to his briefs. The tented fabric makes your eyes snap up to his as he trails his hands along your sides. It was an impressive sight to see, you palm your hand over his clothed erection. His eyes closing as he sucks in a short breath, tongue licking at his bottom lip. The grey fabric begins to darken with his precum leaving a quarter sized spot that has your walls throbbing, begging for more pleasure. You sit up, hair falling in rivets over your shoulders before pulling at the waistband and sliding them down. His cock springs out with a heavy slap to his abdomen. You can do nothing but marvel at his size. He’s large, two toned in length with rose colored veins that trail the long length. His thickness makes your mouth water, a slight curve is evident as you wrap your hand around him. He hisses out, head tilting forward as his brown hair falls into his eyes. The protuberant tip is blushed pink as precum begins to bead from his slit. You pump his cock in hand, feeling the heaviness of him and your arousal begins to drip once more as you hear him moan for you.

His cock is smooth and you find yourself sitting all the way forward before kissing down his length. “Oh, fuck.” You tongue peaks out to caress the warm thin skin and his hands card through your hair with ease. His body falters before falling back, his muscular thighs shake in what you know is wanting. You move with him, straddling his thighs as you lean down. His cock is beautiful and yours, which is an interesting thought that you can’t seem to dwell on for more than a second as he twitches within your palm. Kissing along his shaft, licking at the one prominent blushed vein has him moaning your name loudly. 

You lick at his weeping slit, gathering the precum he is beginning to produce mercilessly and he sighs gently in relief. The taste is musky and thick on your tongue and you can only equate it to him. It’s so perfectly him that you find yourself needing to taste more. Arousal drips down your thighs as you begin to suckle at the head. Tongue licking circles around it before dipping your mouth down his length. “Oh, baby. Fuck.” His grip tightens on your hair, you take in all that could fit in your mouth before stroking whatever is left of his long length. You lave at the smooth length, moaning as he tugs gently on your gripped hair. “Look at me, please.” Your eyes snap to his, watching how sweat begins to bead on his sideburns. The tips of his brown bangs are slick against his forehead as he opens his mouth enraptured as you bob your head on his cock. Your cheeks hollow, trying to take more of him. You gag on his cock, a sound that makes him whimper as your eyes become blurry with tears. 

“Y/N.” The word is spoken with reverence as his bottom lip is tucked between his teeth. He reaches forward sitting up on one hand that perches itself behind his back. His fingers shakily run up your thighs before meeting your apex. You moan on his cock, the vibrations making his eyes roll back as another spurt of precum coats your tongue. His fingers circle your soaked clit gently before pushing farther back to your entrance. You whimper against him, head bobbing faster as he swallows a groan. Your entrance welcomes his two fingers, coating him easily in your cum and arousal and he growls gently at the feeling. He goes knuckle deep before flicking at your sweet spot, the action making your thighs feel like jello as you grip at the sheets on either side of his body. His fingers begin to scissor inside you, stretching you for what is to come. “Gotta prep you baby, your little pussy is so tight. Fuck.” Your knuckles turn white as you pump his cock with every dip. You feel him begin to throb, his head lolls back mouth opening widely as he still continues to stretch you.

“Shit! You’re so good at that.” You feel high off of his praise, you try to take him deeper swallowing a few times until he is lifting you off of his cock as his throbbing becomes erratic. 

“Wanna cum in your sweet pussy.” He pulls his fingers from you before entering them into his mouth and moaning at your taste. He sucks them clean, before pulling them out with a gentle pop. His hands splayed across your back before laying you down. His nose brushes yours, a romantic gesture that has your heart fluttering. His eyes search yours as he knocks your legs open before settling inside them. He grips the base of his cock, running his head over your damp folds before smiling down at you.

“I love you.” The ardour in those words makes the corners of your lips quirk up into a smile as he returns it. “I love you, too Seok.” He kisses you, languidly licking at the seam of your lips before prodding at your entrance. Your mouth opens as he begins to stretch you, your hands wrapping around his neck and tucking into the base of his hairline. His hands grab at your thighs, kneading them before wrapping them around his slim hips. His tongue probes against yours moaning quietly into your mouth as he begins to fill you slowly. He inches in easily, your arousal coating his thick cock as he stretches you. It’s a delicious cocktail of pleasure mixed with the slight twinge of pain from the stretch. “You’re so tight, baby.” He whispers breathlessly, his breath tickles your cheeks before kissing down your jaw to your neck. Your walls ripple around him, feeling him fill every part of your needy cunt. His cock reaches the furthest point, burying himself to the hilt before stilling and letting your pussy relax around him.

“Feel so fucking good, baby. So perfect like you were made for me, because you were.” Your thighs tighten around him as the pain is solely replaced with pleasure. You wiggle your hips, pleading for him to move, to let you lose yourself completely into the man that was just your best friend a mere hour ago. He pulls out slowly, the bulbous head of his cock dragging delicious against your walls as plucks at your skin with his lips. He thrusts back in gently, your mouths opening in tandem. “Fuck.” The curse leaves your lips at the same time and you both can’t help but giggle with each other before moaning as he thrusts back in harder. Your fingers tug at his hair, thighs tightening as you lift your hips for more. 

Hoseok lifts up to grab your hands before intertwining them and lifting them over your head as he continues at his slow pace. “I’ve loved you since I was ten. I’ve loved you since I knew what the word love meant. It’s always been you, Y/N. Always.” Your grip on his hands tighten and you smile up at him. 

“I love you, too. Probably for a lot longer than I think.” His smile at your admission makes your heart swell, your heartbeat quickens for him. He pours his emotion into his thrusts then, hips snapping and rolling as you moan each other's names in the dark room. His lips suckle at your areolas, tongue flicking in tandem with every thrust to your stiff nipples. His grasp on your hands tighten and the moan he elicits is so pure, so raw. Full of beaming energy that has your nerve endings firing rapidly with indescribable pleasure.  

“Seok.” His cock twitches as you call his name, hearing the lust filled rapture of your voice. His hips grind harder into you, stuttering slightly as his body shivers with pleasure. His lips continue to suckle at your heated skin, bucking quicker into you as you raise your hips higher. The newfound angle has you screeching with pleasure, throat going dry with need as you begin to lose all sense of words. You’re a stuttering mess underneath him, fingernails digging into his skin as he moans over your skin. With every thrust, his bulbous head meets the rough patch within you, coaxing you towards your next high. He mutters out, over your breast how much he loves you, how beautiful you are underneath him like this. Your thighs begin to shake, head lolling back as you reach the precipice. Your walls flutter for him, gripping him for your release. 

“Yes, fuck. I can feel it,” He gasps loudly, “Cum with me, baby. I’m close to cumming for you.” Your whine is needy and your mind sears with pleasure as his cock begins to throb harshly within you. It’s all you need before you’re warning him once more you’re about to cum. “Cum on my cock. Fuck, I love you. Baby!”

Your breathing slows down for a single second before speeding up twice as fast as you careen off the edge of pleasure. Your nails dig into his skin painfully, eyes rolling back as you orgasm with him. His hot seed spills inside of you, giving deep, harsh thrusts as he curses. It sets off a second wave of pleasure, toe curling and stomach flipping as your eyes become spotty. He breathes heavily against the skin of your chest, hot breath fanning over your feverishly sweaty skin. He groans gently before flopping down on top of you and wrapping his arms around you. You giggle gently, one hand resting over your heart and the other pushing his sweat soaked bangs off of his forehead. He kisses your cheek tiredly, before closing his eyes. “Do it again.” You angle your head to look down at him before smirking.

“Do what again?” He lifts his head, chin resting on your breast before showing you his megawatt smile. “Laugh for me. I love that sound.” You snort before kissing his forehead. “Do that again, too.” With a giggle and the roll of your eyes you kiss his forehead. He sighs happily before lifting up on shaky arms and slowly pulling out of you. He wiggles his eyebrows as your pussy weeps with his cum. Frothing your lips and the sheets white. “Now that, that is hot.” You laugh at his comment before swallowing thickly as he licks his lips. Time that seems to have stopped begins to flow again in your eyes. “Let’s get you a bath, baby.”

The sun wakes you up once again this morning, but everything is already different. You can feel Hoseok’s lips against your hair as he runs his thumb over the skin on the back of your neck. You tighten your arm around his waist before burying your face into his smooth chest. “Good morning to you too, baby.” You kiss his tanned skin, eyes closing as you relish in the heat of his body. “Morning, Seok.” He hums to you before giving three quick kisses to the top of your head and pulling back. “Lips, please.”

He puckers his lips, squeezing his eyes shut and you can’t help but giggle before sitting up and pressing your lips to his. He exhales gently through his nose before kissing you deeper, hands curving around your head before pecking at your lips once and then twice more. “Have you been up for a while?” You question as you lay back down on him. He nods, “Just been thinkin’.” 

Your eyebrows quirk up at his statement, “About what?” He points at the plaque on the wall and your head turns to look at the wooden slab. “Thinking about how amazingly perfect you are and how I can make you happy for the rest of my life.” His cheekbones bounce up as he smiles before hugging you tightly to him. “I can make you ‘Live’ a great life, with me, of course. I can make you ‘Laugh’ for the rest of your life because I love that sound and it’s what you deserve. And, I can ‘Love’ you forever and ever AND ever.” You lean up, kissing his cheek as warmth spreads through your body rooting you to the ground. He was your forever weight to the Earth and forever is the only term that matters. 

The sun begins to invade the room, its rays highlighting the uneven strokes of paint on the wall and you smile fondly. His eyes follow yours before squeezing you tightly to him. “Hoseok loves you.” The memory that was burned so brightly into your brain now has a new heart shattering meaning. “And, Y/N loves you.” 

#live #laugh #love #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader #bts smut #friends to lovers au #best friends #bts story #bts imagine #btswriterscorner #btscreatorscorner #jimin #bangtan #smut #pining #bts angst #bts fluff #jung hoseok #hyungsmutsociety

[katie-writes24]

Five Of A Kind

Pairing: Poly!Hamilsquad x reader

Warnings: Language, fluff, opinionated comments towards the Spider-Man movies, I guess some things are implied, but barely

Just something I came up with. I’m a sucker for Poly!hamilsquad :) Takes place at the start of their relationship. Uh, shoutout to Pinterest for giving me prompt ideas ig? I’m going to start working on more requests after this. Enjoy!

She sat in a booth in the corner, watching through the window the busy streets of New York. The sun had been replaced by heavy clouds, and it was obvious it would rain any minute.

She tapped an impatient finger against the handle of her mug, looking at her phone once more before the seat across her was filled by John and Lafayette.

“About time,” She raises a brow and John looked back sheepishly.

“At least we’re not the last ones here,” Just then a waiter came over and took their drink orders. When he left, Laf took her hand into his.

“How are you, mon ange? We have not seen you in a while.” Y/N felt a pang of guilt hit her. She had been absent from the past months movie and game nights, missed out on a couple of dates, all due to school work piling up.

“I know, I’m sorry. Just had a lot of work to do. I swear, I won’t cancel again.” She smiled and Laf kissed her knuckles, only to be startled when Hercules threw an arm around him, pulling him into a kiss.

“Ce qui ne va pas avec vous? You scared me!” Laf put a hand to his heart while John snickered beside him.

Hercules chuckled and sat down next to Y/N, placing an arm at the back of the booth and kissing her cheek. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Alex is last, as usual. Give me my ten dollars,” He nudged Laf who rolled his eyes, but pulled out a bill from his wallet. The waiter came back with their drinks and took Herc’s order, as well as a coffee for Alex.

“Has he been working this late the whole week?” She asked. Though she has been doing the same recently, they all knew college classes and his job were totally different. Alex working late would only bring more tension, stress and sleep deprivation to them all.

“Just the past two days,” John shook his head, looking out the window as the rain came. “Dude doesn’t even think time exist anymore.”

“Speak of the devil,” Hercules nodded towards the front of the cafe, and they all watched him walk over.

“Fifteen minutes? That’s a new record, man.” Y/N said bitterly, but not really meaning it.

“Water falls from the sky and people don’t know how to drive.” Alexander sits next to Laf and takes off his jacket. “I’m sorry, I’ll buy this time.”

“Bribery will get you nowhere,” She sipped from her mug, but willingly ordered her meal carefree.

~~~~~

“So...it’s one character?”

“Correct.”

“But three different actors?”

“Right.”

“In three different...worlds?” Lafayette tilted his head as he watched the screen.

“Well...kinda. It’s basically in the same universe, but just different stories. Like the last Peter Parker is set in the same timeline as the Avengers.” Alex shoves more popcorn in his mouth as Laf narrows his eyes.

“I do not get it.”

“You don’t have to get it, babe,” John smiles and runs his hand through Y/N’s hair.

“Uh, yes, he does have to get it if we’re going to binge all of the Spider-Man movies,” She looked up at John as if he was crazy. He giggled and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“All you have to understand is Andrew Garfield was the worst Spider-Man,” Hercules said, earning agreeing hums from Alex.

“But he is the cutest one,” Y/N smiled as she watched said actor on screen in his suit.

“Oh, I can totally fight with you on that!” Alex gave her an accusing stare.

“Non, I think he’s pretty cute!” Laf snuggles further into John, and the latter tilts his head up and gives him a peck on his jaw.

“You haven’t even seen Tom Holland yet, your opinions aren’t valid right now!” Alex throws popcorn at his head from the other couch.

“Shhhhh, this is the best part...” Herc put his finger up to Alex’s lips, and he quickly took it into his mouth, causing Hercules to groan in annoyance.

~~~~~

The bell above the door jingled, Hercules looking up from the suit he was working on. His concentrated frown turned into a warming smile as he saw her walk in with a plastic bag in her hand.

“Tell me there’s something edible in there?” He leaned his arms against the counter and smirked as she froze in her steps.

“Are you saying my presence isn’t enough for you?” Y/N scoffed and set the bag down next to him. “But yes, I might have some food in here.”

“I thought you had class?” Herc smiled as she pulled out two containers of burgers.

“I just finished, thought you’d be hungry. I knew you had to come in early, and from John’s drunk text last night, it seemed like you didn’t get enough sleep.” She laughed as he rolled his eyes.

“I got maybe four hours. I don’t know how Alex does it,” He munched on a fry and intertwined their hands together. “Thanks for the food.”

“Of course,” Y/N smiled and the two ate in comfortable silence after that. She could see the different types of fabric thrown across the back tables. It was an obvious sign of stress, it looked like Herc’s office at his apartment. When they finished their meal, she cleared her throat, “Hey, don’t stress yourself out okay? I know you guys are understaffed, but that doesn’t mean all the work has to be thrown on you.”

“I know, but I was the only one on shift today, which means I get all the new orders.” He ran a hand over his face and sighed. “I should probably get back to work.”

“Sure,” She started to leave, but his hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his chest. She leaned into the embrace and smiled.

“You can stay if you want? I could use the company,” He kisses her head and leans back to look into her eyes.

“I guess I could work on some essays,” She leaned up and kissed him soundly. “Thanks.”

~~~~~

She knocked on the door as she tried to shake off the snow sticking to her coat. It opened a moment later with a relieved looking Aaron on the other side.

“Thank god,” He sighed and stepped to the side to let her in.

“Still hasn’t been out of his room?” Y/N stripped out of her jacket and looked around the messy apartment.

“Not since this morning, and it was only to get another coffee. I’m surprised you guys didn’t check on him sooner.” Aaron raised a brow as she chuckled.

“We talked to him two nights ago, and he seemed fine. Trust me, this isn’t the worse it’s been.” She knocked on his bedroom door, and after not receiving an answer, she opened it slowly.

Alexander was sitting at his desk, back to the door and typing away on his laptop. She sighed as she looked around the room. Cans of energy drinks and candy wrappers had been thrown hazardously near the small trash can in the corner, along with shreds of paper. His bedsheets were thrown carelessly and different documents laid on top.

Y/N shook her head and walked towards where he was seated at his computer chair. She wrapped her arms around the him and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“You are freezing,” He winced, voice hoarse like he hasn’t spoken in days.

“How long have you been sitting here?” She asked, eyes roaming over the paragraphs he was typing.

“Today?”

“Alex!” She tutted disapprovingly, reaching for his laptop to close it, but he was quicker, grabbing at her hand.

“No! I just need to finish this real quick!” Shoving her hand away, he leaned forward and typed faster.

“You’ve been in here for hours, for all I know days,” Y/N’s hands wrapped around his, and squeezed them. “When’s the last time you ate something? Or showered? Or walked around?”

The silence was enough to fill her question.

“You’re not taking care of yourself, Al. And do you remember that we had plans tonight? We were all gonna go ice skating.”

“Fuck, it’s already Saturday,” Alex ran a hand over his face and grumbled. “I’m sorry.”

There was frustration in his voice, and she would be lying if Y/N said she didn’t feel bad for him. He has been stressed about work lately, picking up a lot of other people’s slack and working late hours. She held him closer and kissed his neck softly, his own hand coming up to her arm and rubbing a soothing thumb across it. They stayed like that, until he eventually leaned forward and started typing away again, saving the document once again.

“When’s your deadline?”

“Tuesday.”

“Are you kidding me?!” She slammed the computer closed and pulled him away from the chair.

~~~~~

“What the hell, John?” Hercules slammed his cards against the table as John laughed.

“You guys suck at this game,” He smirked and laid his cards out.

“You’re cheating, its so obvious that you’re cheating,” Alex walked away from the table, Laf smirking at how easy it was for him to get mad.

“It’s just a game, mon amie,” Laf chuckled as Alex flipped him off.

“I’m turning in, I gotta work the early shift tomorrow,” Hercules stretched his arms and yawned.

“You are all welcomed to stay the night, there is plenty of space,” Laf offered, hope in his voice. He liked when he didn’t have to go to sleep alone, which is something that hasn’t happened in quite a while.

“I can’t Laf, I got an early meeting,” Alex frowned as he put in his shoes.

“Me too, and I got to be early or Lee will never let me hear the end of it,” John kissed the top of Laf’s head and walked towards Alex.

“I can stay, I don’t have class tomorrow,” Y/N grinned as Laf turned from disappointed to excited.

“Don’t have too much fun, you two,” Hercules smiled and kissed them both goodbye, Alex and John doing the same before leaving the house.

Laf wiggled his eyebrows with a smirk at her, which she pushed his shoulder and walked upstairs to his room. He soon followed and gave her a pair of pajamas to change into.

They fell into bed easily, Y/N cuddled up into his side as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. She could hear his heartbeat and sighed with content.

“What are you thinking about, cherie?” He whispered, not wanting to disturb the quiet.

She hesitated before answering, “How great this all has been...all of us, together. It’s pretty amazing.”

“That it is,” Laf kissed her forehead and smiled. “I wouldn’t trade these past months for anything.”

Y/N leaned forward and captured his lips, not moving until he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He held her cheek with care, pecking her lips a few more times before pulling away.

“Get some sleep, Y/N. For all I know you could be schemeing with all this kissing.” She chuckled and kissed him one last time before turning over and leaning into his chest. He kissed the back of her neck before wishing her sweet dreams.

~~~~~

Classes had finally ended for the semester, which meant Y/N was making plans to catch up on sleep. Yet, despite her wishes to stay in her dorm for the break, the boys offered for her to switch between their homes, saying that it would allow them to spend more time together, and, let’s face it, they all didn’t like going to sleep alone.

The first weekend, they all wanted to celebrate her successful school semester, and while they wanted to go out and party, she was perfectly content with ordering take out and being lazy on Alex’s sofa.

Y/N was spread out across John, face buried in his chest while he ran his hand up her back comfortingly. She was drifting in and out of consciousness, startling between an explosion on the TV and Hercules loud laughter.

She was almost asleep when she felt John’s fingers begin to move across her spine. He had a pattern, going back and forth and up and down, almost like he was writing something. A couple minutes later she went to turn over so her face would be towards the cushion, before she figured out what he was writing.

“I love you, too,” Y/N mumbled, barely giving it a second thought before she knocked out completely.

John stared at her in shock, eyes wide and a blush across his cheeks. Even though the volume was loud, the other boys could hear her clearly, looking over in amusement, shock and adoration.

John swallowed and embraced Y/N, nuzzling into her neck and smiling as she snored.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!!!!

@dontblinkumightmiss @wwaywardwinchester

#hamilton #hamilton imagine #hamilsquad #hamilsquad x reader #poly!hamilsquad x reader #polyhamilsquad x reader #john laurens x reader #alexander hamilton x reader #hercules mulligan x reader #marquis de lafayette x reader #lafayette x reader #hamilton fic #hamilsquad fic #ohhh the soft boys #brings me joy #my writings #uh this is like my third fic of referencing superhero movies? #and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon #sorry not even remotely sorry

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

#personal #ask #tumblr

[scarlettwitcher]

Baby Girl Chapter One

Summary: Y/n tried to avoid her past with a certain Statesmen but when they’re partnered back up for a mission that could cost millions their lives, Y/n must make the right choice. (This is the Kingsman: The Golden Circle movie basically in writing with reader insert. I recommend watching the movie, it’s amazing! It’s on Amazon Prime Video.)

Characters: Agent Whiskey, Agent Gin(Y/n), Tequila, Ginger Ale, Eggsy, Merlin, Champ, Harry, mentions of Poppy, Charlie, and Clara in coming chapters..

Word Count: 2.327

Warnings: Canon typical violence, angst, cursing, fluff here and there, uh guns?

Author’s Note: We’re finally here! I have been working so hard on this series and I have finally finished it! I’m so excited to be sharing this. Shoutout to my lovely @giftofdreams​ for being an amazing beta and friend. Also send my girl @queenxxxsupreme​ some love. After this series, I’ll be working hard on my requests and on my existing August Walker Series. Don’t worry, I didn’t forget it babes. Thanks for all the love I receive daily! If you’d like to be a tag, please send in an ask! As always, thanks for reading, feedback is always welcome/needed. Also, please reblog! I know this fandom is kinda small but I’d love for people to find this fic. I just worked so hard on it and I want it to get the love it deserves. Love to you all!

The loud sound of rain burned into Eggsy’s ears as he stared at the broken-down building in front of him. He didn’t know whether he should scream, cry, or curse anyone who was listening. He looked up to see a black figure walking towards him, holding a black bag. He immediately reacted, pulling out his gun, aiming it straight at his head. As the figure stepped closer, Merlin's face became visible to him but he never lowered his gun. Slowly the both of them started to walk towards each other as Eggsy gripped his gun harder, feeling it's weight get heavier with every step. “Someone decides to wipe out every Kingsman property, every agent, and somehow, conveniently, you weren't at home.”

Neither of them stopped walking towards each other, walking between all of the rubble of Eggsy’s blown up home. “I could say the same thing about you.

Finally, Eggsy stopped when he was a few feet away from Merlin, his voice cracking from emotion. “What, you think I'd kill Roxy? And my mate, Brandon, and my fucking dog?”

“No. You think I would?” Eggsy kept his gun trained on Merlin as he swallowed thickly. Merlin held up the black bag towards him, opening it up and pulling a robotic arm, holding it up. “This thing hacked us. Clearly, this arm can be remotely controlled. I'm only alive because my address wasn't on the database with the agents. Whoever Charlie's working with doesn't think that mere staff are missile-worthy.”

Eggsy scoffed angrily as he lowered his gun, his voice raising an octave. “This ain't funny. Roxy is dead! Everyone's dead! Gone! Do you even care?”

“Pull yourself together. Remember your training. There's no time for emotion in this scenario.” Eggsy nodded quietly in understanding. “Now, as all surviving agents are present, we follow the doomsday protocol. When that's done, and only then… you may shed a tear in private.”

Eggsy sighed deeply as he nodded. The loud sound of thunder echoed between the two men filling in the absence of conversation. The deaths of all the Kingsman weighed heavy on their hearts. “Okay. What's the doomsday protocol?”

“We go shopping.” Both of the men decided to take the night off and try to sleep. It was a restless sleep for both. First thing in the morning, they both headed for Berry Bros & Rudd; Wine merchants. They walked in dressed to the nines. Merlin approached one of the workers. “We're from Kingsman. We'd like to buy some wine and use tasting room number three, please.” The man in the shop nodded quickly, before taking both of them towards the room. The man left, leaving Eggsy and Merlin alone. “Not one of my predecessors has ever been in this situation before. Thank God.” Merlin walked towards a distinctive place in the wall, recognizing a familiar shape. He pulled out a pendant, exactly like one Harry had given Eggsy when he was younger. “A-ha. Remember this?” He showed it to Eggsy who smiled softly, remembering its significance. 

“Yeah, how could I forget?” Eggsy watched as Merlin turned towards the wall, slipping the pendant into the shape, fitting perfectly into the molding. Loud sounds of locks being opened and gears turning filled the room. The wall slid open, revealing a black safe. 

Merlin pointed towards the safe as he spoke to Eggsy. “Whatever's in that safe is the answer to all our problems.” Merlin got to quickly opening the safe. Pulling the door open, his brows furrowed in confusion as he leaned closer to see what he was looking at. “Huh.” He pulled out a bottle of whiskey with clear big letters that read “Statesman” on the front. He showed it to Eggsy who looked confused.

“Is that it?”

“I suppose that must be upper-class humor.” Merlin looked down at the bottle, analyzing it for a few seconds before looking back up to Eggsy. “I don't get it.”

“Me neither. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?”

“I think we should drink a toast to our fallen comrades.” Merlin served both of them cups of the Whiskey. Eggsy grabbed one and held it up towards Merlin as he grabbed his own cup, doing the same. They clinked their cups together. 

“To Roxy.”

“Roxy.” Merlin oohed in admiration of the taste. Eggsy nodded his approval as well as they served another round, doing what they had previously done again. “To Arthur.”

“Arthur.” They both drank their whiskey before Eggsy stopped in thought. “Mmm. Should we do one for JB?”

“I think we should.” Eggsy pulled out a chair, sitting across from Merlin as they poured more whiskey. They took a drink for every fallen Kingsman. Leaving the bottle almost empty, Merlin started to cry, wiping at his eyes in pain with his handkerchief. “I should have seen it coming. Charlie, the taxi. It's all my fault.” Both men had forgone their jackets and glasses as they spoke.

“No, that's bullshit, Merlin. It ain't all your fault. You're the best, bruv. Honestly, without you, I'd have lost it a long time ago.”

There was a moment of silence between the two as Eggsy placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin stayed quiet before reaching for the almost empty bottle. "I think we should drink to Scotland."

Eggsy quickly took the bottle away from Merlin. "I think we've probably had enough, to be honest." He analyzed the bottle as Merlin cleaned his glasses. 

"You're probably right." Eggsy stared at the bottle. Looking closer he saw a small print at the bottom of the back of the sticker, 'Distilled in Kentucky'. The K looked very familiar to him before it clicked. 

"Merlin."

"Aye?"

"I think we're going to Kentucky."

"Fried Chicken? I love fried chicken."

"No, proper Kentucky. Look." Eggsy placed the bottle on the table as Merlin slipped his glasses on. 

"You know what else I love? Country and western music." Before Eggsy could say anything, Merlin started to sing. Eggsy was annoyed but listened quietly anyways. "Country roads, Take me home, To the place I belong.." The boys moved quickly, getting what few things they had left before flying over to the distillery. They noticed a tour happening as they arrived and they followed behind as the woman spoke. She didn't let them into a large warehouse, explaining something about how the temperature is perfect for the barrels and both men stopped. Eggsy scanned the door with his watch, nodding towards it. 

"Biometric security scanner just to protect a few old barrels of whiskey? Pull the other one, love." 

Merlin fiddled with his tablet as Eggsy watched him. "Got it." The door slid open behind Eggsy. They looked around before skidding in. Eggsy kept his hand up with his watch, surveying the area. They looked around amazed at all of the giant barrels. 

"Are you getting anything?"

"Not yet."

"Fucking hell."

"It's a shame it's not scotch." Merlin's tablet started to beep loudly. "Hang on." He looked at the image, showing underneath them was the base. "According to this, there's a huge underground structure right beneath us." Merlin walked quickly to the end to place his tablet down, grabbing an axe placed lazily on the side. "And if my calculations are correct…" He moved towards the main barrel in the middle, holding the axe tightly. "This is the way in." Without a second thought, Merlin hit the wall with all his strength, denting and making a hole on the barrel. Whiskey gushed out of it and both men panicked. 

"Fucking hell, Merlin. Shit." Merlin moved quickly, covering the hole with his hand. 

“You know, my mama, she always told me us southerners get our good manners from the British.” A man slowly walked towards them, holding a shotgun loosely in his hand as it rested on his shoulder. Eggsy tried to act casual, crossing his arms and leaning on the barrel as Merlin kept his hand on the hole he created. “I was thinkin', ain't that a pity. Y'all kept nothing for yourselves. Y'all ain't never heard of knocking before you enter?” The man turned his head slightly, smirking before spitting to his left. 

“Well, actually we had an invitation. Didn't we?” Eggsy looked over at Merlin as he nodded quickly.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, did you now?” The man watched them unamused.

“Yeah. It came in the shape of a bottle. We're from the Kingsman tailor shop in London. Maybe you've heard of us?”

“Oh, the Kingsman.”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. That's where y'all got them fine suits and them fancy spectacles y'all got on?” The man pointed towards them with the end of the shotgun, acting like he knew what they were saying was enough.

“Exactly.” Merlin nodded his head enthusiastically, almost as if he hoped they made the right decision. 

“That's right.”

“Y'all look damn sharp. Let me see if I got it right, here. You want me to believe that it's normal for a tailor to hack through an advanced biometric security system with nothing but a little bitty old watch on?” Eggsy clenched his jaw nervously as Merlin frowned. They were starting to realize their name meant nothing. Merlin looked over at Eggsy with concern as Eggsy rolled his eyes, staring the man down.  “I can promise you,” The man grabbed his shotgun, loading it as he twirled it effortlessly in his hand, aiming it at both of them. “That dog don't hunt.” With the shotgun, he motioned for both of them to get down. “So why don't you go on and get down on your knees and tell me who you really work for.” 

Eggsy raised his eyebrows, mocking the man before looking over at Merlin tight-lipped, as Merlin nodded, silently saying, ‘okay, you asked me to’. He removed his hand as the barrel started to leak again, dropping whiskey all over the floor. The man quickly sucked up some saliva, spitting it across the way on the hole, covering it perfectly.  Eggsy looked at Merlin with disgust before turning back towards the man with the same expression. “That's 1963 Statesman Reserve. You just made it personal.”

The man walked towards both of them, as they ran towards him at the same time as well. Eggsy raised his fist, ready to punch but the man ducked and hit him in the back with the shotgun. Merlin lunged for him next. The man hit him in the abdomen, looping his arm around Merlin’s and used his body weight to throw him against the barrel, knocking him out cold. Eggsy took out his gun but the man used the shotgun to trap his arm between his body and the shotgun before swinging it around and smacking it out of his hand with his shotgun. The momentum of the hit threw Eggsy on his knees as he swung the shotgun into his ribs, swinging it the other way around. Eggsy blocked the hit but still groaned in pain as the hit threw him against the barrel. The man pinned Eggsy’s arm with his shotgun before moving quickly to flip through Eggsy’s watch until he found the stun option. He pulled Eggsy off of the barrel and angled it so he shot himself with the dart. Eggsy stared at him in surprise as the man smirked. Eggsy moved to touch his neck where the dart was as he went limp on his legs. “Who the fuck are you?” Eggsy stepped back once before falling onto his back, blacking out quickly like Merlin. 

“You’re right. You are getting better Tequila, almost as good as me.” The man, Tequila, looked up to the left where you slowly stepped out of the shadows. You licked your lips as you walked over to the limp bodies on the floor. You bent down beside Eggsy and reached out, touching his watch admiring the technology. “I guess you didn’t need me after all.” 

Tequila smiled and shook his head as he nudged Merlin with his foot. “Now darlin’, don’t say that. You know I love having you around.”

“Well, duh. I’m a fucking catch.” Tequila laughed out at your comment before moving to grab Merlin, throwing him over his shoulder as he motioned towards Eggsy with a nod of his head. 

“Can you handle him?” You frowned and shook your head. You were smaller than Eggsy and even though you were strong, you weren’t that strong. 

“I can drag him.” You grabbed his arms and slowly pulled him towards the real elevator, dragging him inside as you huffed. He was heavy. Tequila laughed as he watched you and you glared at him. 

“Did you hear?”

“What?”

“Whiskey might be coming down this weekend. Something about a meeting.” You visibly tensed as you clenched your jaw. You took a deep breath as Tequila watched you concerned.

“I didn’t know. How long?” You didn’t even realize you whispered this until Tequila reached over pulling you into his arms. The big lug basically swallowed you in his big arms but you didn’t care. You wrapped an arm around his waist before letting out a shaky breath. 

“Just for the weekend. Has he tried to talk to you?” You shook your head as the elevator stopped, indicating you were on the floor you needed. “Good. How about we go to that restaurant I told you about?”

“Sounds nice Tequila. We’ll take Ginger. She’s really been wanting to go there.”

“It’s a date.” You giggled at his remark. You grabbed Eggsy once more, slowly dragging him towards the interrogation room you had. Once Tequila secured Merlin into his chair, Tequila moved quickly, securing Eggsy beside him. You sat in the far side of the room as Tequila took his place in front of the both of them, leaning on the table. He licked his lips, trying not to show how much he would enjoy this as he leaned over, slapping the both of them out of their unconsciousness. This was going to be fun.

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[tuz-on-ao3]

Hey, I was reading your fic (I really like it by the way! Sasuke's, my favorite character, and I think you wrote him really well :D), and I was wondering, what's your writing process? I know everyone has something different that works for them, but how do you plan out your chapters, or get ideas, or things like that (very vague, I know, I'm sorry)?

Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!! Thank you sugar plum for reading Maybe I’m Paying for the Things I’ve Done and liking my characterization of Sasuke, it’s very heartwarming and I appreciate it. 

As for my writing process, oof. As you know everyone’s writing process is really different and it has been a joy to learn more about other people’s process to help figure out what works for me. This is something you can absolutely cherry pick with and try things out for the first time. 

Timing: some people write better at certain points during the day, some people can start writing at 5am or write till 3am in the morning with a late start. I am a mix of both. I can start writing around 9am because that’s when my internal ticker is like “Let’s go to work now!” It’s just how my school and internship schedule line up. I also just write when I am bored(while in class sometimes) and late at night if I really have the momentum. Which happened for some of the chapters I have written for Maybe I’m Paying for the Things I’ve Done. So figure out what works for you. Also, timing myself sometimes helps, I use Pomodoro as a way to keep track of my work, I don’t necessarily take my short breaks. 

Initial phase of writing: I draft first and I backwards outline as I go along and then I hit a wall. The idea circulates in the back of my mind and I either get a sense of a scene or a situation that I want the characters to go into and I start writing. Writing the story informs me where it’s going to go, it comes to me during the process. However, I will hit a wall. The fics I write are rarely short(shoutout to the people who can do short and sweet, your sense of pacing is unreal and I bow to your greatness) so there is a lot of worldbuilding, plot, and character development that needs to happen. Important thing to note, just because you are writing fanfiction doesn’t mean you can skip worldbuilding. It is very important!!!!!! It doesn’t need to be the crazy amount that I do but you need to set your reader up in a place and time so give some context. 

Timeline: Things happen at certain places and times, and my characters will be a certain age when it happens, so I need to keep track. One of the walls I’ve hit is that for my current posted fic Sasuke spends time in jail, but how much time was not made clear in my non existent early planning and that changes the way things happen. And how old he is, and how much time should I spend on that prison sentence. If it was a long time then I need to talk about it as a life event that will have consequences throughout the entire fic, or if he was just detained until his lawyers came that changes Sasuke’s character. It also is a good way to talk about the criminal justice system of Konoha that I am making up. So I keep track of everyone’s ages, and birthdays, and sometimes I change them. I mean it is really hard for me to write baby ninja that go out into the battlefield when they are four years old and not make the entire fic about a shitty world like that. I don’t want to do that, it’s too fucking hard, and fluff feeds my soul. Also, seasons!!! That changes the way you set up your environment as well, from what I can tell Fire Country should have a monsoon season since they are so forested and are located near the equator of their world. So when that happens, if I decide to include that, is important for pacing of the story. I mean how long should this go on? Also, romance in the rain *hitn hint wink wink* who knows. 

Outlining: I didn’t use to be an outline and to some extent I still am not. I have done a previous post explaining a little bit of it but I backwards outline to keep track of what is happening because it’s a lot of detail and I don’t want to make mistakes. However, spreadsheets are my jam. I didn’t use to be this way but my internship has changed me and now I like spreadsheets as a way to be organized. Huzzah *throws confetti in the air* to being a boring adult person! There are a couple of way to do this but first actual writing notes: 

5 commandments of story 

Inciting incident 

Progressive complications 

Crisis 

Climax 

Resolution 

This is something that helped me a lot when it came to structure, because sometimes my plot points are all happening at the same time and I’m like this makes no goddamn sense, what is happening. Story Grid is a podcast, and a book, and a website that can help you talk about structure. They can also talk to you about the Hero's journey. Take or leave whatever works for you because a lot of their stuff doesn’t work for me. But in doing their spreadsheets and exercises I learned what doesn’t work in a story. It’s how I realized pacing was a problem in my writing, and that I needed to take time away. 

So they have sample spreadsheets that break down books into scenes, turning points, characters on stage, etc. Take what works and leave what doesn’t. 

Back to spreadsheets, I have a story grid one for Maybe I’m Paying for the Things I’ve Done which I will backwards outline for the chapters I have already posted and a weird visual index card thing with the five commandments on my computer to help me figure out what is happening in my story. 

It looks kind of like five boxes side by side with the five commandments written on each one. 

Sometimes there is more than one box for progressive complication and that is fine, it is also fine if every scene you write doesn’t have a resolution, because by the end of the fic you will have one. I split this up by chapter, expected word count, POV. 

Word count: Some people care about this, some people don’t. I don’t write stuff for ‘Maybe’ that is less than 10000 each chapter, there is way too much going on in the fic to do short chapters. For my other works in progress I find that I will be writing shorter, which is both easier and harder because it needs me to be concise and clear. Anyway, I do take notes from Story Grid in this because 50% of my words have to be for my middle build, while 25% each go to the opening hook and to the ending payoff. A scene is about 1200-2000 words. 

Wiggle Room: Shit happens, you don’t do as much one day and you do a lot another. It’s okay, your story will evolve at certain points, it will tell you what to do. Don’t worry about it that much. 

Struggle/villainy: Protagonists are often defined by their antagonists, and if that is the type of story you are writing make sure you spend just as much time on the villain of your story as you do the hero. They are major actors and deserve the attention. When I talk about the Akatsuki I am thinking that they are an international terrorist organization hellbent on kidnapping people that are systematically treated as weapons. There are a lot of moving parts for this. Also the characters themselves, Pein and Konana are radicalized in my story from peaceful revolutionaries to violent ones because they watched the leader of an institution murder their best friend, that will cause personal and political damage. It informs the way I write them or will. 

Sasuke's struggle isn’t necessarily against a person, it is against himself. He wants a home because when he was little the one place where he felt safe was violated by his own brother, that is a hell of a trauma. Then he left his former home to go to Oto. Place has a huge part to play in Sasuke’s characterization and I tag homemaking in my fic because I want to show the process of creating a home for yourself as a process of revival and change and hope and vulnerability. It is a huge emotional labor of love and will be a focal point in the fic. That’s why I spend so much time talking about these goddamn renovations and art deco, it matters. This is a boy who has traveled all over the world and is now trying to put all the pieces of himself into one place, how he does it will be incredibly revealing of his characters. 

Character: Emotional arcs are important for everyone. Try to figure out what your character is going to go through. It helps so much. Victoria Schwab asks her characters three questions:

What do they fear? 

What do they want? 

What are they willing to do to get what they want? 

See if this helps. Also, understand that you got to develop your side characters as well, they act as a foil for the main character and add richness to the story, you will notice if they are flat. Understand the dynamics they bring to the story and to the world. Are they a woman in a field that is more socially acceptable for men? How does that affect them? What does gender look like in this world and how does this affect your characterization? Have they gone through physical/emotional trauma? Because that shit will keep coming up in a story, healing takes time. Also this is a fanfic, do whatever you want honey bear. 

Vocab: the lovely @slexenskee told me to have a running doc of vocabulary and I am trying to do that. 

I also have a running doc for a fic/character where I put all my brainstorming, little scenes, lines, vibes, questions into. And a doc for the synopsis of any new fic ideas I get. 

Inspiration: Read, a lot. I read fics, I read fiction and fantasy books, I read non fiction and I read about other people’s writing process. I read the news, I read twitter threads, I read random quotes on Pinterest. I watch tv shows and take note of how they do characterization or pacing or plot. I listen to music, I couldn’t live without it. I am on Pinterest looking for vibes or aesthetics for my fics. When I first started writing, since my fic was inspired by another fic, I was worried it would be too similar, that worry is fading because I am doing more writing, and more reading as well. But you must consume culture in order to produce it. Also take breaks, sometimes you figure stuff out if you leave it alone or talk to friends about it. If you reach out to me about it, I will do my best to help so feel free. 

IMPORTANT: DO NOT BE A RACIST/HOMOPHOBIS/TRANSPHOBIC/MISOGYNIST. UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU WRITE A FANFICTION THE CHARACTERS ARE CODED IN A CERTAIN WAY. DON’T GO AROUND MAKING PEOPLE OF COLOR WHITE OR MORE LIGHT SKINNED THAN THEY ARE. WOMEN AND NON BINARY PEOPLE EXIST ALWAYS, IF YOU ARE NOT WRITING THEM INTO YOUR WORLD THAT MEANS YOU ARE MARGINALIZING THEM IN YOUR WORLD AND IN YOUR MIND. IF YOU ARE CISGENDERED BE DAMN CAREFUL ABOUT WRITING TRANS NARRATIVES, PROBABLY DON’T. WHEN I DECIDED TO INCLUDE MY OWN CULTURE INTO SASUKE’S CHARACTER AND PAST I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE HIM LESS EAST ASIAN BUT TO ADD PARTS OF MYSELF TO THE WORLD. ACCEPT AND ADAPT TO CRITICISM COMING YOUR WAY IN THIS SENSE. I AM SURE YOU WILL BE FINE, THIS IS JUST A STANDARD DISCLAIMER. 

This was really long, and I hope you won't mind. Thanks again for this question, and let me know how your writing goes. Also listen to Deadline City the podcast.

#answers #fic writing #process #naruto