#fucking stingy mf in bed

[yowyowyaoi]

Tobi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Sasori

What exactly do you expect me to say to that?

Donuts outside your door. Peace offering.

I’m sure it’s just as scared of you as you are of it.

No it’s three. THREE leaves are bad.

I’ll have Deidara give it to you but from now on if you idiots choose to keep going out without sunscreen I’m no longer treating the burn.

I noticed. But we all have secrets. That one is yours.

I’ve long forgotten the taste of food but if you think you can do a better job than Konan, by all means tell her. I’m sure she’ll take it well.

From Zetsu

What would he even be to you? Uncle? Grandpa? Great-grandpa? 

Patience, sunshine and a lottttttt of sugar.

He wouldn’t be very pleased that you’re letting one immature blonde ruin your focus this way …

No I HAD to eat him. His screaming would have attracted the enemy.

Your eyes look atrocious have you been using the drops??

Don’t kill it until I get there! They make great snacks 😋

I get that but sleep is important too kid.

Pls tell me you’re not the one who ate it all. Please. Please.

From Hidan

I mean maybe if you had a bigger dick but I’m not even sure the puppet has one at all so idk man 🤷‍♂️

Geez I wasn’t that drunk was I? 

You’ve got some balls on you bastard but fuck yes I’m in!! 😈 Funniest shit ever.

So get out of bed and come hang out. Just laying there all day ain’t helping shit.

It’s rated R but only for the sex shit. Don’t worry I know what a little bitch you are about scary movies 🙄

You snitch on me and tomorrow you wake up with your severed hand shoved up your ass 😇

Stop being such a stingy mf you don’t even like ribs asshole!

Not as weird as you think. He’s very flexible for a geezer 

No you’d be perfect for it. Nobody could read your face bc of that fucking mask!

Don’t let Konan see she’d kill both of us and then dig us up to fuck us up again 😓

From Kisame

Itachi insists I ask you to join us, so please come.

There isn’t one in your closet and even if there was, why would you send ME after it?!

God are you and Itachi related or something?! I can’t get either one of you to stop with the damn sweets!

PLEASE stop jumping on the bed I gotta get up in 3 hours I need SLEEP 😡

Stop asking me 1000 questions every time you watch the Discovery Channel 😑

From Nagato

I’m tired of speaking to you three about the same damn issues every single week. You are all grown men and I should not have to babysit you.

If I’m getting complaints from people OUTSIDE of this group? Then, yes, it is a problem.

Do as you see fit but remember your missions take precedence above all.

I’d advise you to keep in mind that he’s only 19 years old, and he already has that hair-trigger temper.

At least on this one point we can agree: white-haired “mentors” are the worst. 

What makes you think Sasori would make a good Pein-body for me? 

From Kakuzu 

You realize every cloak you tear up I’M the one hand sewing the replacement??

You Deidara Hidan all need to clean your rooms you’re making the house smell like a public toilet 😡

Only if YOU want to be the one to go out and catch the bounty to afford that.

I would suggest you stay focused on your missions. This is a serious organization, not a highschool.

I doubt that. I’m rarely surprised, brat.

Be a lot easier to treat it if you took that damn mask off and let me SEE it, kid.

Not complaining about the money but … how did you get it so fast 🤨

Konan says it was you, you say it was Itachi. Wonder what Itachi’s going to tell me.

No. And anyway you’re old enough to know that “love potions” aren’t real.

From Konan

Dinner’s ready!

You know that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask a woman, right?

Come see me later I’ll use the good shampoo and then give you a trim 😊

The other things I don’t mind but everyone is responsible for their own underwear.

Just go play with the one that Itachi absolutely does not have in his room.

Okay but FIVE SEPARATE PEOPLE came to me and told me they saw you playing with it right before it “mysteriously broke”. 😒

Not saying the muscles are impressive. But. 🫣

From Itachi

I’ve found that massaging the lids for half an hour and then resting with a cold cloth over them really helps.

I saw. I couldn’t believe how tall he’s gotten 😢

I’ll let you read it when I’m done. It helps with a lot of the overwhelming feelings.

I’m not scared at all. I just don’t want Kisame to be around to see it happen.

Honestly? I don’t trust that old man and I don’t think you should either, cousin.

A few bad teeth is probably the least of my health concerns, ha ha 🙃

Come walk with me. Give you a chance to breathe for a while.

Yeah but the thing about dreams is at some point, you’ve got to wake up. 

We’re both young and strong. Together with Sasuke we could do it. And be free.

Are you kidding? That movie would have BOTH of them pissing their pants. 🤣

No matter what he’s just going to find an excuse to fine you for it and take it out of your pay.

Ugh I tried but the way he eats everything super rare? And then licks the blood off the plate?? 🤢

From Deidara

Well you know he’s immortal so, never.

A big box of dangos and like half a cherry pie. You can have it but do NOT let me catch you eating everything at once.

We leave in 20 min. Don’t forget your pack this time.

No Kakuzu thinks Hidan did it and I’m not gonna correct him, and NEITHER ARE YOU.

That’s … pretty gay, ngl

Socks first, then shoes. Not sock shoe sock shoe. If there was a fire you’d be running out with one foot naked. Who tf raised you?!

Yeah I made it for you. I know you like turtles. And no it doesn’t explode.

I dare you to say that to him

Heyyyy you got $30 I can borrow 😅

No really DID you hide my clay?!

Me, Hidan and Uchiha. You’re coming too.

The way one loves a *friend*, yes

Did the salmon give you the shits too?? God my asshole feels like it’s melting 😫

#tobi #obito uchiha #texting #the akatsuki #deidara #sasori #hidan #kakuzu #itachi uchiha #zetsu #konan #nagato #kisame hoshigaki #Akatsuki Daily Texts Series #implied tobidei?

[honeydippedsunflowers]

Reflecting .. 1:11 AM 1/24

This time last year was the start of my cut off venture. I’ve walked away from multiple situations and people that real life serve NO PURPOSE IN MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEE. NONEEEEEEE. Like bitch zip, nada. Idk where or when the realization hit but when it did it hit HARD. You know what I lied, having to cut off my bestfriend of 8 years triggered a fat epiphany. That of course was a hard decision that had to be made, but the circumstances around that entire situation lead me no choice but to skate from bitches. It took me, shit till this year to fully get over that “loss” . Everyone after that tho??? Oh felt like cutting butter with a knife lol. I mastered a fraction of detachment having to fully separate myself from her... me walking away from that friendship made it so fucking easy to walk away from shit I’m not fucking with. Truly changed how I move. I cared way to much for people, and overplayed my part never truly getting any reciprocation. What’s hella weird tho is I never looked for reciprocation, I more so wanted appreciation and recognition. I fought to hard to please folks lol, hoping for that exchange in gratitude, but it never happened. Niggas just kept taking and taking and taking and taking and taking.. and I damn near let them for a while. It got so bad to where I wasn’t even being asking about, if I was okay, if I had the headspace to deal with the load they were dumping on me... nothing. I was just everyone’s wallet, taxi, go to for help, go to for a release, and then back to their regular scheduled program... but as I said, I let it happen.. I sat there and was being mistreated and used, and allowed it... that’s my bad , and I’ll never play myself again... Baby now? Mfs luck to recieve a text back from me. Shit they luck if the text even go through ........ Idgaf if you broke down bad on your ass don’t got a pot to piss in and need dollar in change for the bus to get out the pouring rain..... bitch I ain’t got it .....

One thing I’m proud of is I didn’t let these ungrateful ass mfs change who I truly am. Im still that loving, giving, helpful spirit who’s loyalty to her people is solid and unmatched.... however I’m now stingy with who I give myself to and always making sure I’m straight at the end of the day. I let a lot of shit slide the last few years and it’s time I start snatching edges again. These bitches forgot I’m a Virgo 😂😂😂 and will real life cut you off, boss up on you, flourish and act like I never seen yo ass a day in my life. On some cold disrespectful shit lol Smh. Definitely tired of sugar coding and taking the high rode on you hoes. Next mf to ask for a favor without asking how I’m doing I’m asking for they fade period 😂😂😂😂💯 ol selfish ass bitch look this is why I’m mad mad tho!!!!! Lmao I been dealing with BAD ASS IMPACKED ASS WISDOM TEETH PAIN SINCE SEPTEMBER. BITCH ITS ALMOST FEBRUARY. Long story with that.. insurance couldn’t get me a appointment but ANYWAYS YEA I was in extreme ass pain man like I can’t even describe to you the piercing sensation of that shit but it’s tough, consistent and fucks with your brain. Lol bitches know I’m in bed sick and STILL hitting me up taking about “can you take me to the school to pick up the laptops they’re giving out” “ you wanna go out for drinks” “can you help me fill out my fasfa” “ Sammy just put her hands on me Qui help” BITCH YOU HELP TF 😂😂😂😂😂HOE IM SITTING IN THIS MF ROOM ABOUT TO RISK IT ALL CAUSE THE MEDS AINT KICKING IN FAST ENOUGH mf did you think about that before you hitting me up asking for shit?!?!?!??? Like bro I kid you not I was in bed for 4 months dealing with that crazy ass shit. Luckily the antibiotics cleared the infection so the pain is SO much lighter I’m so damn grateful 😭😭😭🙏🏽 surgery is on feb 12th, super excited to get that taken care of. But yea my whole ass point bringing up that example is that people are selfish, inconsiderate, and don’t give a fuck about shit you’re going through so don’t overplay your part. I’ve learned a lot simply by dealing with life and watching people’s reactions around me.

This year, I don’t aspire to meet new people or grow new friendships at all. I’m truly taking these moments in and appreciating my growth through detachment. I want to take some time to explore the energy and love I was so quick to share with others, and learn what it’s like to feel that loyalty for myself, to myself... In removing myself from situations that I have learned and grew from, I’ve gained love and acceptance in myself, I think that’s hella cool lol.