#full disclosure i know it was probably really difficult to model it to look like both dialga and palliative

[froggyphevoli]

How I Accidentally Made My Friends Fall in Love With an Abandoned Can of Coors Light

On November 2nd, 2021, I came across something rather odd as I was leaving work.

I decided to take a photo of it (shown above) and posted it to Facebook with the following caption:

It’s… It’s just sitting there. On the sidewalk. Unopened. Is it a trap?

I received several comments on that post. I’ll put a few of my favorite examples below.

The Fae are getting creative

Talk about “thirst trap”!!!! 😬 I’ll see myself out…

Totally a trap probably glued to the ground…LOL

[A gif of Admiral Ackbar saying “It’s a trap!”]

To my surprise, the can was still there the following morning, so I made another Facebook post:

Day 2: That Coors Light is still there, still on the same spot on the sidewalk, and still unopened. I took a more “scenic” picture this time so you can see that it’s right outside where I work.

(Note: Full disclosure, the above photo is edited from the one I originally posted. I censored out the sign because I’m publishing this publicly and don’t want Internet strangers knowing where I work.)

This one received a few comments as well, but nothing extremely noteworthy. The day after that was when shit really started to get real.

Day 3: I have decided to name the can Rocky. Today, Rocky moved, but not very far. Perhaps he just wanted to hang out somewhere a little comfier? He remains unopened.

Day 3 marked not only the first time our subject moved, but also the moment the newly named Rocky became personified. My friends had a lot to say this time; once again, I’ll put my favorite comments below.

Go home Rocky!! You drunk!

Also I’m completely invested in this!! [posted by same person who posted the comment above]

I feel like I want to bring a little Blankey over and cover Rocky up. We have all been there. So invested.

This whole saga is weirdly compelling.

I’m cracking up…and totally curious as to what tomorrow will bring to our dear rocky.

I had obviously created a monster, but now I was committed. The next morning, I stopped by Rocky’s spot on my way in to work, eager to share his latest update with his adoring fans.

You can imagine my disappointment when Rocky was nowhere to be found.

I looked all around the grassy area in case he had just rolled a bit, but I soon had to admit defeat. I quickly made a post on Facebook announcing that Rocky was gone, and thanking everyone for embarking on his journey with me. Had he been thrown away by a well-meaning Samaritan? Had he been drank by a homeless person? Had he left town to go pursue his modeling career? I thought that we would never know.

And then I entered my place of work, and was met with a most wonderful surprise.

Rocky was alive!!!

I then got rid of my previous Facebook post and made a new one, featuring the above photo and the below caption:

Day 4, amended: I deleted my post from a few minutes ago announcing Rocky’s disappearance. Right after I posted it, I went inside, and look who I found sitting on my desk! 🤣🤣🤣

And of course, my ridiculous friends delivered with their comments:

Start a ‘go fund me’ for the support of raising Rocky. Tell your story and I just know people will donate. After all, Rocky was adopted and brought in from a life of neglect and potentially harsh conditions.

Had me all tore up for a second..glad Rocky is safe.

I couldn’t really keep a can of beer at my work desk, and now that things had gotten this far I didn’t want to put Rocky back where I originally found him, so I had to make a decision. It wasn’t a very difficult decision.

Day 5: Hot damn, look at Rocky living his best life! He got a makeover AND a girlfriend!

I had originally planned not to interfere in Rocky’s journey, but once he appeared on my desk, I knew I had to bring him home. He and Cakelyn are now living happily on top of our kitchen cabinets.

(For those curious how I got the sunglasses on him, it was just super glue.)

My friends were pleased:

I’m so glad they’ve found love and companionship.

Love wins!💓

So Rocky got his happy ending. I haven’t posted any updates since, because I’m not really sure where to take the story from here, but I think that last one made for a better finale than any of us could have predicted. Until my mysterious coworker intervened, I just assumed that this story would end with Rocky vanishing one day and there would be no closure involved. As silly as this entire ordeal was, I’m relieved that that wasn’t the case.

If this nonsense doesn’t prove what a great storyteller I am, I don’t know what will!

#Coors Light #anthropormorphizing #I know you guys hate personal posts but this one is pretty funny #Rocky the Coors Light #Rocky the beer can #Rocky #Froggy Phevoli #is this the real life?

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Gold Rush and Happiness are Sisters

Gather round everyone and witness the clown try to prove that Taylor Swift wrote songs about a married (now pregnant) woman in the year of our lord 2020.

Also this is a seven page doc in my google docs so like. Get a cup of tea and some popcorn.

Ok full disclosure this is…..mostly me clowning. Like seriously. Don’t take my words as the word of God, this is just my interpretation and how I listen to the songs. And as a (former? Idk man) Kaylor I’m going to want to make these songs about my ship. Acknowledge your biases kids.

Also like. I change my mind a lot, but for a while this theory that Gold Rush and Happiness are connected has been stuck in my head and I wanted to write it down and post it in case anyone else got something out of this.

If you read my last post on Gold Rush (here!) you’ll know I don’t think of it as a happy song. To elaborate further- I think it’s Taylor catching herself looking back on Karlie/that time in her life (Because I think Karlie is emblematic of the 1989 era for Taylor and is thus tied to the pain that came out of that, along with her ties to the masters heist) and reminding herself it wasn’t good and ended for a reason.

“Gleaming, twinkling/eyes like sinking ships on waters/so inviting, I almost jump in”

“But I don’t like a gold rush” 

The sinking ship line makes me laugh. I like to think it’s Taylor saying she’s literally sunk our (dead) ship, but that’s mostly regressing to 2015 tumblr humur.

To the actual analysis, she almost jumps into these waters, maybe it’s literal (don’t text your ex kids, write a bop like closure instead) or maybe it’s more metaphorical. She almost allows herself to think the good times were the only times. Maybe there’s a desire to move back to nyc, capture the magic that she may have felt during the era. 

“I don’t like that flying feels like falling till the bone crush”

But that’s the thing. It feels like flying at the time, but it isn’t a feeling that can last. These relationships built on temporary promises (we’re assuming here Taylor was a side thing for Karlie, not that serious and built not to last, even if there were genuine romantic feelings on both sides, which I think there were to some level) won’t last, and will hurt when they do end. At least, this one did.

“Everyone wonders what it would be like to love you”

Everybody wants who she’s singing about and is imagining what it would be like to be with them, they think it would be a fairytale. Hell, Taylor probably thought their relationship would be a fairytale against her better judgement. Karlie is a celebrity and a model no less, yes she has other things going for her (Koding and investments), her brand and her success in the fashion world depends to some degree people desiring and fantasizing about her.

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch”

The funny thing about that, Taylor’s the only one who knows the pain of that relationship, of being a side thing and never committed to. It’s draining. It's difficult. She isn’t allowing herself to jump into those waters.

“I see me padding across your wooden floor/with my Eagles t shirt hanging on the door”

I point out this line mostly because it feels like a Delicate call back (Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs). Am I reaching though? Probably. Also as someone with parents about the same age as Taylor’s (give or take ten years), I like the Eagles reference. Stream Hotel California for clear skin <3

“At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit”

Taylor was the first person to call Karlie out on her “I’ve tried!!” bullshit, how cute. <3

Besides this line being very iconic, it also shows to me that Taylor’s been frustrated with Kar even when she was busy giving her heart eyes. She’s a frustrating person to be around even when you are “turning her life into folklore”.

“What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

Damn that’s a gay couples lines you got there Tay. Wonder if you’re wondering what it must’ve been like for Kar to grow up in the model industry, and all of the pressure and exhilaration that entails. From a male’s perspective ofc.

I also take the dominoes line to be Taylor saying what must’ve it been like to have this easy idyllic childhood. Maybe Taylor is the first time Karlie’s been with a girl outside of a hookup and didn’t have to go through the pain of realizing she was into women until later in life. (Not that that’s not painful, it’s just different, and allows you to have a perfectly straight childhood/teenagerhood)

“And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it/And thеn it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it could never be”

Maybe this relationship never existed in the way she thought at all. You know Carrie Fischer’s character in When Harry Met Sally and how until she meets the right guy, she spends the whole movie insisting that whatever married guy she’s seeing really loves her!! And he’s gonna leave his wife for her!! That’s what these two songs make me think about, waking up and realizing they were never going to leave their wife, you were projecting this whole story onto someone else, but that doesn’t mean there was no value in what happened.

“And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it/'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it will never be”

The coastal town seems an obvious Rhode Island reference, to get more specific it reminds me of when Josh and Karlie visited Taylor at her Rhode Island home in 2014 and Josh looks peeved as hell. 1, 2 Also if I remember correctly, enty has a blind where he says there was a huge fight between Josh and Taylor which ended in Taylor not wanting to be around him again. Just interesting to note. (And if anyone has the receipt, please send it my way!)

Taylor may have been projecting this fairytale narrative at the time of being able to make it work, of being friends with Josh even but it didn’t work and the fairytale is left to be folklore, never made real.

The outro is the same as the intro to the song, implying to me that while she’s telling herself it was bad, you weren’t happy, she’s still catching herself missing it and what she had with Karlie. She left a part of her back in New York see, and she can’t stop her mind from retracing old footsteps.

Now, onto how I think Happiness and how I think it connects. I’m about to audition for the national team in the reaching Olympics. Wish me luck. :)

A bit of a preamble though, I don’t take this song ~super~ literally. Depending on what day of the week it is I think it’s probably her divorcee rpg simulator or her closing the book on her ex situationship gf on her own terms ~in a straight way~. So not to discredit this whole ass post but. Take with a grain of salt.

“Honey, when I'm above the trees/I see this for what it is”

See that bold bit? That’s the main connective tissue between these songs. She’s finally woken up and now that she’s this far removed from the relationship she sees what it was. To add to the pain of it all, this is especially potent if you wonder if Karlie gaslit Tay into thinking this wasn’t a big deal, they were just fucking around when Karlie has literal Softest Love Song You Are In Love dedicated to her.

“But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given/Is just shit we're dividin' up”

This seems to me to be a masters heist reference. Karlie since Lover, is musically tied to this event in Taylor’s life, it’s what I think is keeping Tay from making a clean break from her so to speak. 

“Showed you all of my hiding spots/I was dancing when the music stopped”

This seems to be a Rep era/dwoht reference. Yes, Taylor constantly references dancing, but the hiding spots (loved you in secret! you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis!) combined with the dancing when the music stopped (I'd kiss you as the lights went out! Swaying as the room burned down!) brings out the full kaylor clown in me. 

“There'll be happiness after you/But there was happiness because of you/Both of these things can be true”

This is probably some of the most gut wrenching lyrics Taylor’s ever written. Damn, imagine having that written about you. Anyway, the point here is the thesis of this whole damn post. Gold Rush is Taylor catching herself daydreaming about the happy parts, and reminding herself about the bad to make her snap out of it. Happiness is her coming to terms that both parts of that relationship were true. Things aren’t that simple. 

“Haunted by the look in my eyes/That would've loved you for a lifetime/Leave it all behind”

This feels very Cruel Summer doesn’t it? “I love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” These lines make this relationship read as two things to me. One, it was very one sided, and Taylor/the narrator, was obviously left behind at the end of it when she was heavily invested into making this work. And 2, it was doomed from the beginning. Again. Big cruel summer energy here.

Or it’s a divorcee rpg simulator 3000. Now with extra glamour and opportunities to dramatically drink wine in dressing gowns.

I don’t have a lot to say about the second verse of the song that. Karlie has a nice smile, Gatsby reference, dig at whoever the next person to take Taylor’s place as a side fling (or a dig at Josh, or a baby reference since that’s what the Gatsby line refers to). The only other thing worthy of note for this post is the line following the Gatsby reference.

“No, I didn't mean that/Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury”

 is the next line, where she regrets what she just said and admits to saying overly harsh things and overlooking the truth of the matter when she’s angry, which to me feels like a big Afterglow/Me! reference.

“There'll be happiness after me/But there was happiness because of me/Both of these things, I believe”

I think a lot of what Taylor’s doing emotionally in the chorus is legitimizing this relationship for herself. Yeah, Josh and Karlie will have a happy life in Florida with Ivanka and them, but Taylor also made Karlie happy too and she doesn’t want Karlie to forget it. 

It reminds me of the way she talks about August, that she genuinely loves James/Karlie, and thinks they have something. But she’s just the pit stop on the commitment highway, and the depth of her feelings for the other person will never be acknowledged. It’s exhausting you know?

“In our history, across our great divide”

“Guilty, guilty reaching out across the sea/That you put between you and me”

Nothing to see here, just a nifty parallel. Karlie doesn’t want wrinkles in her new life see.

“There is a glorious sunrise/Dappled with the flickers of light/From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind/And there is happiness”

This bit (which has some of my favorite imagery in this whole dang album!!!) reminds me of the end of the Wildest Dreams mv where she runs out to the car with the lover following her after the big charade of pretending not to care as much as she does, while knowing you aren’t the one that got picked.

Interestingly, if you look at the shot of the four characters together near the end, the outfits parallel the ones worn by Kar, Tay, and Josh at the 2014 Met Gala. This was of course the one where Tay and Kar got ready together and Karlie proceeded to spend the night with Josh and where Tay just looks. Miserable. (see here!)

The line also parallels Wildest Dreams lyrically.

“Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress/Staring at the sunset, babe”

Which you know. Worth noting.

The last line (And there is happiness) seems to point to there being happiness in leaving the bad situation just as much as there was happiness in the situation. It’s Time to Go anyone?

“I can't make it go away by making you a villain/I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven”

A series of thoughts. One, I love the first line where Taylor acknowledges anger isn’t going to make it better. There’s only so much being angry in this situation will do, and it’s not like Taylor’s record is clean here either. (I mean I assume. We know she went psycho on the phone anyway)

Two. Seven years in heaven is both a play on a famous game/turn of phrase (Seven minutes in heaven) but one of the more bold references to Karlie in her whole damn discography. Do I think they’ve been together for seven years straight? Not really. But do I think Taylor saw an opportunity and jumped on it? Yep. 

“And I pulled your body into mine/Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties”

No thoughts head empty this line is a sucker punch and I love it. If anyone needs me I’ll be watching her perform ikywt on the vsfs and crying to yail.

“All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness”

Oh look! Another Gatsby reference. Or Taylor calling Karlie out on profiting off of her association with Tay after they clearly did not end on good terms. (Folklore themed maternity shoot anyone?) I mean, whatever floats your boat. 

A bit on the green light metaphor from Gatsby, because it’s worth noting even if I don’t have much more to say on it here.

“Situated at the end of Daisy’s East Egg dock and barely visible from Gatsby’s West Egg lawn, the green light represents Gatsby’s hopes and dreams for the future. Gatsby associates it with Daisy, and in Chapter 1 he reaches toward it in the darkness as a guiding light to lead him to his goal.”

Yes I copied that from Spark Notes. No I am not sorry. I have an exam tomorrow and I’m writing about a dead ship on a dead social media website. Sometimes we do what we must do.

I love the ending of this song, I really really do, it feels like taking in a breath of air and finally feeling free of the weight you’re carrying. It feels like a final goodbye, like Tay’s getting closure on her own terms and I truly love that for her. Bb’s stepping out into the daylight. <3 

There is happiness

In our history, across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind

Oh, leave it all behind

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

So, what was this whole seven page post for then? 

Gold Rush and Happiness being connected has been a theory rattling around in my brain for forever and I’ve wanted to write it down for just as long. The tldr of it all is pretty simple, Gold Rush is about her reminiscing about the good parts of Kaylor, and pulling herself out of it, reminding herself it was bad and bad for her. Happiness is her legitimizing the relationship, and moving on while acknowledging there was bad and good in their story. It just took me seven goddamn pages to articulate that.

If you’ve reached the end of this. Damn. Thanks. Go get a snack or something, you deserve it after reading this.

#<3 #hope this entertains y'all like i said been wanting to write it down for a while #hope i explained my points well!!! #kaylor lyrics #kaylor analysis #gold rush analysis #happiness analysis #oh and let me know if the links work!

[colubrina]

Random question. You’re a fellow mother, how do you spend your days? I know you have writing goals, but how do you deal with false guilt about keeping a clean house and taking time to nurture your writing talents? Sorry if this is a sillly question!

I don’t think it’s a silly question.    I think, rather, it’s the question for women.  The bulk of childcare/housework almost always falls on women, and most of the time women pay a much higher career penalty for reproducing than men do.  And for most mothers I know, there’s a constant push and pull between this idealized version of the perfect nurturing parent and finding a place for some kind of personal non-nurturing fulfillment.

(Putting the rest beneath the cut because I’m being verbose and most people aren’t going to care.)

What’s that twitter post I saw that made me flinch?  Name three things you like about yourself that don’t involve service to others?  Ouch.

Full disclosure:  I don’t work outside the home.  Women who do have a MUCH more difficult balancing act, and I do not think I would have been able to parent, develop writing talents, and work for money all at the same time.

So... today’s schedule was:6:30-7:30:  get up, get dressed, feed cats, stare blankly at the wall and wait for brain to kick in7:30:  drive offspring to two separate schools

8:30:  meet friend to walk vigorously and mutter imprecations about politics.  “I’m becoming a leftist,” she says.  “You’ve been a leftist for years,” I reply.

9:45:  start work on revising - get three chapters done.  express concerns to writing group I’m not changing much, I am worried I cannot see the MS’s problems.

12:00  pick child 1 up early from school, bring him home, let him change

1:00  take child 1 to high school to take placement test, muttering imprecations about leveling and also why aren’t grades sufficient

1:30 having left child 1 taking a test that is supposed to take 2 hours, drive to child 2′s school and plan to sit in parking lot texting until her school releases at 2:05

1:50:  get phone call from child 1 telling me he’s done with the test.  drive back to high school to get child 1

2:10:  pick child 2 up 5 minutes late, drive child 2 to ice rink where she will do sports and volunteering

2:30  having dropped child 2 off, drive child 1 to indoor baseball thing we thought he’d have to skip because of the test, but nope.  sit in sun at lovely table in front of building and read a book i won from a goodreads giveaway.  text writer’s group re. questions one person has about her book (I’m not very helpful)

note:  reading books is a rather important part of growing as a writer, but I might call this one a dnf and stick it out in the free little library.  lots of cool post-apocalyptic concept, trying to be a thriller structurally, not really doing it for me.  Also it’s super important to read other people’s books and comment on them.  Looking for issues in books you aren’t emotionally attached to teaches you to see them in your own.  In theory.  Why can’t I figure out how to make this book better.  I tear my hair out.  Anyway.

4:00: drive child 2 home, read more of the book, type this.  in the rest of the day I plan to...

5:45:  fetch child 2 from rink  (if you’ve done the math and noticed child 2 was at an ice rink for 4 hours, you are right - this is by her own choice)

6:30:  put away clean dishes from last night, feed cats.  dinner will be leftovers today, though child 1 will probably make himself an entire box of breakfast sausage.  eat things.  poke around on internet.  play dumb games.

9:00 ish:  partner comes home

.........

BUT, all that exhausting detail aside, it varies tremendously.  Yesterday I read an entire MS for a CP and left notes in it.  Tomorrow I will have a larger block of time and hope to get some writing done as well as revising more chapters.  I didn’t do much cleaning today.  Usually, if I am home for a longer chunk, I pick up more or do a load of laundry.  My kids are old enough they don’t need nurturing in the form of hands-on crafts projects anymore, and I can trust them not to shove a fork in an outlet to see what will happen.  Most conversational time happens in the car and we do things like setting up sewing classes together. 

I think you have to decide which things you are going to let slide and remember that you are SUPPOSED to have interests outside parenting.  That this ENDS and they GO OFF AND OUT INTO THE WORLD and if you don’t have other things you enjoy, you will one of those people who literally counts the days until your kids come home from college and are completely adrift.  You shouldn’t feel selfish for wanting things for yourself. Hell, you are modeling a full and interesting life to your children, that people should make time for hobbies and interests, and that while they are loved they are not the only thing in your life, which is smothering and not good for anyone involved.

You’ve got this.  Your answer will be different than mine.  It will probably involve less driving and fewer activities (we have issues, it is known) but it will be a good answer because it will fit your life.

#sam-bam-thankyou-maam

[ais-n]

2| and where is the trauma? both hsin and boyd were severely sexually abused. and emilio's illness is always treated as a joke. look Ais, your series has done me so much good between the bad it did. i found i'm gay lmao and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful that you wrote this ok. but there are things that were offensive, and maybe it was unconscious, since i doubt you wanted to be racist or write a mlm relationship but more like hetero. i wish i could just enjoy the books but my heart breaks

3| idk what the one who questioned that could possibly mean between all the things but thats what i mean. i appreciate you a lot. i hope this didn’t make you feel worse or whatever. but some people really did end up hurt badly after reading icos and im one of them. with all respect, and hope that i didnt disturb you much, farewell.

++++++++++++

Aha I just realized I can put both 2nd and 3rd asks in one! Which is good because, again, the gay comment makes me laugh out loud XD As I said in the other post, thank you again for reaching out, for explaining your concerns, and for the courage you no doubt had to bring forth in order to do so.

I’m getting right into the answers in this one although I will probably ask more questions for clarification on some of the points, as I did on the first one, to make sure I’m not misunderstanding or misinterpreting anything.

More below the cut! :)

EMILIO’S ILLNESS

I’m really sorry but I wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Which illness? How is it treated as a joke? Could you clarify? 

TRAUMA

So this I thought was super interesting that you felt there was no representation of trauma in ICoS, or I assume you also mean its aftereffects. That’s actually one of the few points I feel pretty confident saying the series does portray a lot of, both in some cases the experience of it and in other cases the repercussions. 

One of the reasons both of them are so severely dysfunctional individually and together is because of trauma.

I don’t want to muddy up this post with a huge tangent but someone had asked a few years ago about the result of the Aleixo mission on Boyd, if he was diagnosed with anything, and so on. If you’re interested, I wrote a long ass reply about the psychological effect of sex trafficking on survivors/victims and talked about some of the things you see Boyd do that are a bit reflective of that. More info at https://aisness.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/boyd-aleixo-psychology/

I think there probably would be more information on all this by now, or at least I certainly hope there would be, but at the time of writing Fade that was the sort of research that was available. 

Although, full disclosure, I don’t tend to write characters looking up the DSM symptoms for this or that; I write what feels right for them psychologically, mentally, emotionally, and oftentimes later look it up and realize they would have likely been diagnosed with this or that thing or they could be displaying traits of this or that.

At any rate, with Boyd, his trauma started early on, and pretty much everything about him is a reflection of that in some form. I don’t see trauma as specific to sexual assault; it’s most certainly a result of that but also of many other things. Boyd dealt with a lot of neglect and/or emotional abuse as a child, he was bullied by his peers, and generally speaking it was difficult for him to feel like he belonged anywhere. He was very often judged by others, often negatively, for things completely outside of his control, like his parents, their jobs, his home, the amount of money his family had, his looks, etc. 

If you look at the Mayo Clinic’s list of child abuse, Boyd falls pretty well under emotional abuse and a bit under neglect, and you can especially see the toll that had on his personality by reading the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse in particular:

Loss of self-confidence or self-esteem

Social withdrawal or a loss of interest or enthusiasm

Depression

Avoidance of certain situations, such as refusing to go to school or ride the bus

Desperately seeks affection

And general symptoms:

Withdrawal from friends or usual activities

Depression, anxiety or unusual fears, or a sudden loss of self-confidence

An apparent lack of supervision

Self-harm or attempts at suicide 

If you look at Complex PTSD, and in particular Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) you can see a lot of Hsin:

Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”

Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”

Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

I wouldn’t say Hsin dissociates quite that extensively but I feel like he does display some dissociative tendencies at times.

Boyd has some too, like

Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

I think in some ways you could argue they both display aspects of:

Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

When Boyd was little, he often wondered why other people were treated better than him - why, when he was getting perfect grades, he was going above and beyond whenever possible, when he was trying to be “a good boy” all the time, when he went out of his way to stay quiet and not bother anyone – why, despite all his attempts, other people were celebrate yet he was reviled, even if the people being celebrated were awful people doing awful things. He used to study other people relentlessly, trying to understand what it was about them that made them acceptable and what it was about him that made him not.

That’s why, despite being such an introvert, he’s good at blending in and going undercover; it’s why he can adjust to new situations and, in a way, act - because he always had to monitor and adjust himself his whole life just to feel seen and loved. His dad loved him on his own so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but with the trauma that came from the loss of his dad, and what happened with Lou, plus everything afterward, it really messed everything up.

Boyd was not a victim of childhood sexual abuse, but more of emotional abuse. Well, I guess, I should say for the most part he wasn’t.

Hsin was definitely a victim of childhood sexual abuse and probably physical abuse (that bit I can’t recall for sure). He was raped even as a small child, and that led into different aspects of his life. One reason, for example, he would go berserk and was seen by the Agency as unreliable in cases of him seeing sexual assault was because he saw, in some way, himself in those victims. It was probably his way of protecting people when he hadn’t been protected, himself. 

I can’t speak too much on Hsin’s specific mental health status or repercussions because I didn’t write him so I’m not fully in his mind, but I do know that sort of berserker aspect is part of what came from his sexual abuse and physical abuse and just generally how he grew up. If I recall correctly, a lot of that led into why he was so unstable and dangerous when Emilio first found him; why it took so long to get Hsin to find a way to deal with the violence and aggression and anger in him, in addition to everything else that would have happened regardless of that childhood trauma. Why, too, it was such a huge deal when Boyd was able to earn Hsin’s trust, because he had learned in his life to trust almost no one.

You can see some of the way they both display aspects of C-PTSD as adults as well in the list at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder#Adults

I should be clear: I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist so I’m not suggesting that they would be specifically diagnosed with any of these disorders were they to get official diagnoses. However, the reason I bring it up is to show that a lot of the series reflects the way their coping mechanisms lead them to interact within themselves and with the outside world, all of which is often directly or indirectly tied to trauma.

Why is Boyd so terrified of anyone seeing him without his shirt in the beginning? Trauma. Why is he depressed? Trauma. Why is he suicidal? Trauma. Why does he go out of his way to avoid a certain block? Trauma. I would have to look at specific symptoms of different things but I would guess that you could also tie back some of his instability and his sometimes inconsistent reactions to trauma as well. Sometimes he does things or says things that may seem a bit reckless, or cold, or some other unexpected thing at that time - and a lot of times it’s probably in part related to how he learned to cope with things and what his levels of defensiveness are or his fears are at that moment. But he also has a complete inability to see the good in himself for a long time which also ties back, I would think, to some of the things he experienced growing up/previously.

Boyd is an incredibly unreliable narrator. He spends most of his narration thinking about how awful he is, how he should just die, how he isn’t doing a good enough job, and so forth. Yet, that fails to show the impact of some of his choices and decisions. Boyd was pretty much the first person to treat Hsin like a normal human being, to not see him as a surrogate of anything or anyone, to not have any ulterior motives or expectations of him (no matter how well-intentioned), and to truly gain his trust as a result. Yet, Boyd didn’t really see it that way. He didn’t see how important it was for Hsin that he ended up in his life; he didn’t get why Hsin was exasperated the times Boyd said he (Boyd) should just die, that there was no value to his life. He didn’t believe he could be loved so he couldn’t see it was even a possibility at first. Therefore, he spends a lot of his narration over the series belittling himself and downplaying any of his own achievements while simultaneously rewarding or acknowledging what others around him are doing. Not every moment of his narration, of course, but his default state of self is to think he sucks and others are probably better.

Conversely, Hsin is a confident narrator. He often doesn’t doubt himself, doesn’t care what other people think, and is very sure of himself in a lot of aspects like his physical prowess which, itself, is already above and beyond nearly everyone else. Yet he also learned not to trust or rely on anyone else in his life, so he’s incredibly suspicious of others because that’s how he had to learn to be. So, especially in the beginning of the series, in his narration he tends to be very factual about his own achievements and not shy away from acknowledging the things that are powerful about him (even if he doesn’t always see it as anything that special), while simultaneously seeking out anything untrustworthy, unreliable, incompetent, or unworthy about those around him. His narration tends to point out the flaws of those around him because he learned that if he doesn’t protect himself, he’s vulnerable, and when he’s vulnerable he gets hurt.

The result of that is, if you read their narrations straight as if it’s all perfectly reliable, Boyd seems even more unreliable and Hsin seems even more perfect than they actually are, because their default states of being overlap in a manner which magnifies the flaws in Boyd and the merits in Hsin. 

Both of them learned to be how they were because of how they were raised, what they went through, and more. Same as how they react to various things throughout the series.

I can’t more specifically comment on anything without knowing what in particular you were thinking of when commenting in the ask about trauma and sexual abuse. But I think generally speaking, they already start the series having learned coping mechanisms that work for them based on trauma they already individually experienced. Those coping mechanisms end up oftentimes being challenged and at times destroyed or reworked throughout the course of the series. That is what leads to a lot of their ups and downs as individuals and as a couple; why their story isn’t a straight arc going up but instead derails a lot. And why they both spend the entirety of the series coming to terms with who they are both internally and externally, and what that means for their relationship, and how they can find a way to grow as a person and a significant other. They both ultimately have to work on trust; Boyd has to learn to trust himself, Hsin has to learn to trust others, and they have to learn to trust each other.

The way people deal with trauma is not the same for everyone. Sexual abuse doesn’t result in the same reaction for all people. I’m not sure if maybe one of the things you were thinking is maybe about sexual abuse during the series itself? I already linked something that goes more in depth on Fade so I won’t touch on that book, and I really can’t speak for Hsin because he isn’t my character so I don’t want to misrepresent his thought process as hidden behind narration or actions at different points.

The only other thing I can think of that maybe you’re thinking about is Boyd’s valentine status, and how he doesn’t seem to have overtly strong reactions to anything until Fade. If that’s one aspect of what you were thinking about, part of that is just how Boyd deals with things. He tends to avoid things that are difficult for him or he has difficulty focusing on, and oftentimes shuts down emotionally. 

I think honestly he probably dissociated to some extent during a lot of things; kind of separated his body from his mind and felt like whatever happened, happened. For a lot of the time that he was a valentine early on, he had such little love for himself that regardless of how upsetting anything was, how little he wanted to do certain things, he felt on some level like he deserved it. Some things were probably a subconscious form of self-punishment for being born, for being who he is, for surviving when Lou didn’t, for surviving when his dad didn’t, for never being enough for his mother, for just plain existing. Then as time went on he grew to rely on Hsin and find strength in him. It’s also not like every mission he had was a valentine one, or even that every valentine has to end in anything physical. 

That’s why he was able to find ways of dealing with things in some form, even if he didn’t like it or was uncomfortable at times, until the Aleixo mission. He thought he knew how to handle things; he thought he had found apt coping mechanisms. But that mission tore that all apart and nearly destroyed him. His coping mechanisms didn’t work the way they had and now he had to find a new way to survive, and from there came a lot of his instability and more that you see in Fade and as I mention in that blog post.

But in short, I feel like the majority of the series ends up touching, indirectly or directly, on some form of trauma as experienced currently or in the past by one or more of the main characters, and their resulting actions then drive the plot. That is one thing we were very specific about doing: having the plot adjust to the characters rather than force the characters to adjust to the plot. That’s why Afterimage exists, actually; the original plan was sort of like 3/4 of Evenfall and then kind of jumping into aspects of Fade. But we realized at the end of Evenfall that certain things would occur which would then lead to Afterimage and Afterimage then led into aspects of Interludes, which then led into aspects of right before Fade, which then affected a huge part of Fade itself, which then informed 1/27. We didn’t set out to write a series specifically about trauma, it’s just sort of one of those things that happens if you take two characters who have been treated so cruelly or poorly for so much of their lives, and put them together as any sort of team - but especially a team that becomes a couple, and a couple that becomes all but married.

+ +

Regarding the other stuff, I haven’t had a chance yet to check if you answered my question about the hetero relationship comment, so I can’t comment on that until I know more of what you mean. But I would say that generally speaking, I don’t know that I believe it’s necessarily fair to label anything as strictly “hetero” vs “m/m” vs anything else for a relationship. That brings with it a lot of assumptions of what it means to be not only gay or LGBTQIA+, but also straight. It seems to suggest there is only a single way or a very strict set of ways for a cis male and a cis female to be together both in a relationship and to have sex, and I guess I don’t feel like that’s necessarily reflective of reality. People are very complex and so are their relationships, as well as their sex lives.

I’m not sure how specifically the series ended up hurting you but I’m very sorry you felt hurt by anything. That’s a terrible feeling to have to experience. I hope that in whatever way, however it may work best for you, you have the time and space to reflect and recover and rejuvenate. You, like everyone, deserve it.

And honestly, if that means you have to leave the series completely in your past, never to think about it again, if that’s what’s healthiest for you, I truly wish you are able to do so. Stories are there to connect with other people, to share our thoughts and sometimes help us work our way through our own while reading. No story is worth your mental health being put in question. If it is truly upsetting to you to think about the series, it is absolutely not worth your energy. You are more important than a story will ever be. Everyone is. And I say that despite how much I love and rely on stories to get me through life.

If part of your duress is you like aspects of the writing style but the series itself and its contents upset you, you could try reading some other stuff. I have some things I wrote solo that you can find on my AO3 if you want. But also you can find other writers entirely. Depending on what you’re looking for in a story, and the sort of topics you’ve learned work well for you or don’t work well for you, you should be able to find a ton of great series out there and great authors out there who will leave you with the happier aspects of your reaction to ICoS without anything more detrimental like it sounds happened for you with ICoS.

Regardless, I truly wish you the very best. As I said in the other one, please stay healthy and safe! And, if you’re in a place to manage it, stay happy as well :)

Brightest of blessings to you and yours, my friend!

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #Anonymous

[junipershill17]

twelve Things You Should Consider When Acquiring Your First Condo

1) Analysis the Builder:

Not all building contractors are alike. Many create high quality condos and have some sort of track record of success, while others slice corners and build substandard condos. Aside from reviewing the general contractors webpage, one should also carry out an internet search for watchdog studies, lawsuits and discussion boards to get proposed and existing accommodations. One thing to look out with regard to is whether the builder who is project you are interested in, has a background for completing their assignments on time. I had a client who have purchased with a builder (who shall remain nameless in this particular article) that habitually forced back completion dates. Our client was promised typically the keys a little under 36 months after purchasing the unit, plus the builder delayed possession thrice from their original projected conclusion date. After many irritating delays, he final acquired the keys a whole a couple of and a half years after the authentic scheduled completion date. This specific tied his deposit funds up for an a total regarding 5. 5 years. It was almost considered like a 2 . 5 12 months interest free loan on the builder! In retrospect, as a possible investor, he would have loved to invest in another project from 15% deposit, then take other 10% and rescued another 5%, and put that money into one more project, returning him probably double the return, including 2 . 5 less yrs. This is why it pays to research often the builder!

2) Choose the form of condo that meets yourself:

Not all condos are likewise. Some have age constraints, and rules about animals. Other condos are more loved ones friendly in terms of the unit measurements and amenities. Still other folks cater to retiree's. A good way to decide this is have a look at the number of bachelor's, one, two and a few bedroom units in the complete building. You may also contact the house manager for the condominium to be able to verify whether it is a lifestyle condo catering to a certain demographic. People fewer two and several bedroom units will likely not appeal to large families. juniper hill

3) Identify financial status:

If you are a newbies buyer, getting pre-approved to get a mortgage is a must. Contact your loan company to determine your buying ability, and get a firm commitment page from them locking in the level, and approval amount. No-one wants to be left around the closing day without a mortgage loan approval after you already produced the purchase. I have acquired countless past clients that have been given what they thought has been an approval from their bank, exactly where in fact it was nothing more than a new verbal agreement. Some people have gotten credit issues in the past which could warrant a more difficult endorsement process, and possibly at a increased rate. It is always better to understand that you received a formal pre-approval before you fall in love with a home you can not afford.

4) Talk with local real estate agent:

Real estate agent's can give you statistics of which condominiums are appreciating well in Mississauga as well as the most popular unit sorts, and floor plans. This will likely help you to make a direct assessment between different condo properties in order to establish the true associated with the unit you are interested in. Don't merely settle for any real estate agent. Once more, not all real estate agents are the same. Make an effort to work with a local expert that are experts in the type of properties that curiosity you. After all, why can you work with a realtor that markets mainly full sized residences in the suburbs, when you are seeking purchase a condo in the metropolis? It is like going to the dental office for your flu!

5. Carry out your own research:

If you plan to get a home without a real estate agent, you ought to look into the sales of the adjacent area yourself. Again, these kinds of resources will be less obtainable to the general public, but you could have access to the asking rates of similar properties. That does not mean that those prices will be the market values for that certain property, or even necessarily whatever they sell for. Be careful while information gathering. I have experienced a number of past clients reward me after their hunt for educating them on location values, and explaining to these what to look for when they are searching. Why don't get the assistance of a regional expert, when they're providers are free?

6. Find out modification capability:

Although freehold qualities allow the owner to carry out restorations without anyone's consent, condo properties have restrictions on what may be altered for each unit. A standard rule of thumb should be to request composed permission from the property supervision before making any renovations. The house managers consent is always needed to various degrees depending on the residence. Usually renovation work that requires removing a wall or maybe upgrading bathtubs and baths will have limitations on what can easily, and cannot be done. Several require that a detailed reconstruction plan be submitted into the condo board for agreement prior to the renovation taking place. It will always be better to be proactive. An individual wouldn't want to reverse the actual reno back once it is completed! I had a client who all removed all the carpet inside their unit, to replace with wooden. She did this to boost the value of their unit before selling it, only to learn that management had to agree to any floor renovations. The lady tried to then sell the system thinking that hardwood wood raise the value of her unit. That did increase the value of your ex unit, but in failing to utilize and receive consent from your property manager, she was could possibly be renovation restrictions in the developing. It was later found that will she did not use the appropriate sound-proofing underpad beneath the hard wood. The condo corporation regarded that this would hinder the particular enjoyment of the unit owner immediately below hers because of sound. Consequently, she had to split out the hardwood, install fresh underpad, and then replace the wood. This ate into just about all her profit, and your girlfriend investment, and time was certainly not rewarded. The moral in the story is to always check into these renovations with the rental property manager before you begin. It could save you lots of money!

7) Ask for a disclosure statement:

The developer as well as builder of a new terme conseillé is required to have an information report giving details of the building, along with the legal terms under that this condominium will operate. The particular booklet is available immediately after typically the Agreement of Purchase along with Sale is signed. With resale units, this "Condo By Laws and Declarations" booklet is always made available through the 10 day conditional interval when you purchase a unit. It is placed on the status certificate that may be forwarded to your lawyer regarding review. Your lawyer and then has 2 business days and nights to review the certificate, in addition to consult the purchaser together with his/her findings. If almost everything checks out, the buyer may progress with the purchase. If there are usually red flags in the documents, often the purchaser always reserves it is your right walk away within the conditional time.

8. Ask for a site program:

It is important to know if the model that you want to purchase is in the 1st, second or third period of development so that you understand any future construction which could block your existing look at. Of equal significance will be knowing when, and everywhere more development may take place around this building. New improvement adjacent to the building will influence the use and enjoyment of your house due to noise, vibration, unpleasant construction, dust and nasty smells. It is also good practice to master where your unit will be inside proximity to the elevator, rubbish disposal room, and services, as units near these components usually have a stigma installed on them in the resale industry. Besides, who would want to scent the garbage room after a very long day at work.

9) Establish development plans for the associated with area:

Many condos can be purchased under the premise of a very clear view to the Lake, scenery, or green-space. To ensure that the lovely view will be maintained in the long term, an easy trip to the Planning Department will let you ask if any other innovations are planned nearby, and have a look at the architectural pictures. The planners should be able to assist you to understand the types of developments which can be proposed around you. I have got many calls from people that bought privately through the creator units with south landscapes of the lake as an investment property. These investors would hold the unit until they obtain the keys, and the building subscribes as a condominium corporation. At this time, they would try to resell it, only to be shocked which a new condominium just commenced construction in front of they're system, obstructing their perfect to the south view. The investors blunder was being too excited during the buy process, without taking a take a step back and asking the right concerns up front.

10) Review service details:

If the developer provides a swimming pool, it is important to really know what size and whether it is inside or outdoor. The same is true of party rooms, exercise locations, gyms, sports fields, doctor offices and lockers. Find out how huge, how many, and where will have them located.

Again, these 12 considerations can affect both your entertainment, and the resale value of your current condo. It is always better to research before you buy upfront, and then enjoy the returns of your hard work once you have shifted in!

References Apartment

[livelovelaug-h]

Irreplaceable you pt 1

Sam x reader

Summary- inspired by the movie irreplaceable you. Sickness/cancer and a lot of emotions. Definitely grab a box of tissues.

You: "What if we stayed in bed all day?"

" That sounds like the best day ever. We should stay here all week."

You: "What if we got bored?"

"Us, bored? When have we ever been bored?"

" What if we got hungry? What would we do for food?

Sam: "Well, we could order takeout and have it delivered right there."

"you know dean would come in and make us get up."

Sam laughs "Stop. Stop worrying."

~~~~~~~

Full disclosure:

I didn't have to worry about any of that, because this is where my story ends. So does yours, by the way. So does everyone's.

It's okay. Really.

Most of it I don't miss at all.

One with nature.

Really.

Calm. Peaceful.

But then, there's Sam.

Sam was... is the love of my life.

Sams walking to your grave. You narratoring: " Hi, Sam."

Sam by your grave: "Hi, y/n."

But let's start at the beginning.

~~~~~

Even with being a hunter, you were so excited. You were late for your period, it had been a couple weeks late. Now it felt like you were bloated like maybe a baby bump showing.

"Sam?"

"Hey what's up ?" He answers as you walk into the library.

"I kind of have some good news." Siting down next to him.

"oh yeah what's that ?"

You smile big "well... we need to make a doctors appointment. Because... I think I'm pregnant. I haven't had my period for about two months."

His turn to smile real big "really????" You nod.

"This so great, I'm gonna be a dad.!" He hugs you and kissed your forehead then nose and then lips. "And I'm gonna be a mom."

You set up your doctors appointment for about a week later. You were getting some stomach pains. You got up to throw away your wrapper when:. "ah ouchhh".

'Why does this hurt so much.' you thought.

You were waiting for the doctor to come back and confirm your good news !

There's a big picture of a baby inside of a belly showing the insides and sam says

"that picture makes it look gross and painful."

"that's not helpful!" The doctor comes in:

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting."

"Um, y/n, I have some difficult news. The blood test shows that you are not pregnant.

Oh. Sam grabs ahold of your hands and squeezes them.

" Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay." It felt like someone just ripped your heart out but you couldn't believe it. Sam started rubbing your arms and hands.

"I guess that's okay. I- I mean, the whole thing was kind of a surprise... Yeah. We probably weren't even ready."

" Right-"

"It-it-it's just.. its weird 'cause, um, I know it's super early but I really feel something there." You say.

"The sonogram shows that you have a mass in your pelvis roughly the size of a tangerine. It can mimic pregnancy."

"A mass?"

"What kind of a mass?" Sam asks. He looked pretty discouraged to.

[Dr. Michaelson] "I don't want you guys to panic, because it couldbe nothing."

There's this moment

when everything changes.

You look back, and there was the moment before.

See that person?

Flashback to a few minutes -

"It's not helpful!"

She's thinking about whether she's hoping for a boy or a girl, and tiny fingers and toes, and then...

[Dr. Michaelson] "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting."

[you] and now Suddenly...

End of flashback

~~~~~~~~

You and Sam were laying down in bed:

"At least we won't have to pay for college." You say.

"Unless it's a really smart tumor... Too soon?" He says.

You sigh "It's too soon."

"A tangerine is better than an orange." You say.

"Or a grapefruit."

"Right. Or, um... What's bigger than a grapefruit?"

both of you say "A watermelon."

Cas can't heal you because he's human so there is really no other option.

.... At the doctors again .....

Did I say that was the moment?

[Dr. Kessler] "It's two tangerines and a grapefruit."

Correction, this is the moment.

"That's a lot of fruit."

[Dr. Kessler] "Uh, the tests have shown that it is cancer. And I know how hard this must be to hear. It's incredibly rare in someone your age. It's just... It's just terrible luck. Now we can talk aboutoptions whenever you're ready."

"Is there one that doesn't involve dying?" You ask.

[Dr. Kessler] "Uh, I-I've already consulted with a colleague, and after the initialsurgery, there's a clinical trial I'd like to enroll you in"

"You didn't answer my question."

Did he answer my question?

[Dr. Kessler] "We don't like to make predictions. But in addition to your treatment, I want to talk to you about your quality of life. Uh, we can help with pain management and some palliative care. And also some people have found great solace from supportgroups. I know this is a terribleshock, but let's take it one day at a time."

You knew you would go out one day probably hunting, but not like this. Not cancer.

"hello yes I would like to cancel my subscription to you guys."

"oh why is that?"

"I just have cancer now so I figured I wouldn't really be exercising."

"oh that's terrible. Are you sure you want to cancel?"

"yes . ... I am."

~~~~~ later that night ~~~~~~

Sam: "how you feeling?"

"I'm scared."

"It's-It's gonna be okay."

"What if I die?"

"We're gonna fight this, I'll always be there for you"

~~~~

Your laying on the floor because They say after surgery there's gonna be some minor discomfort.

It's Stage IV cancer.

Nothing is minor.

Nothing is comfortable.

Your doctor talking :

"So, let's, um, let's take another look at the proposed model for auto-associative memory and its constituent neural network."

'Or not. Let's not and say we did. Class dismissed.' you think.

you're walking to the other clinic and the guy greets me. "Hey."

"Hi."

"How's it going? I'm Dominic."

"y/n, Nice to meet you."

"I'm gonna be running your treatment suite."

"Treatment suite? "

"Oh, yeah, don't get excited. It doesn't even have four walls. Uh, go ahead and grab a seat right there. For the next time, you're probably gonna want to bring your own pillow in from home. You're also gonna need your cell phone with headphones and grab a magazine. Some of these guys tend to hoard 'em. You're gonna end up reading an old ripped up copy of Duck Enthusiast.

"Oh. It's okay, I don't read Duck Enthusiast. "

"Yeah, well, you will. All right, feet up. " he says.

"Uh, yes, you will feel like shit after this, but it's different for everybody. And no, your hair isn't gonna fall out right away. And besides, it looks like you have plenty of it, so you're doing good. Uh, and if you need snacks, you got to bring them from home."

Great. Just great.

You walk into one of the support groups.

"Hey."

"Come on in. We're just getting started. " the girl says. "Go grab yourself a hook and yarn."

One of the people in the group start saying "have you heard of Catholic yoga? It's a full Latin Mass with vinyasa yoga positions, and I come out... "

"You serious? " someone asks. "yeah!"

"How is Estelle holding up?"

"She's good. There's a new hawk in Central Park. Every morning we go out there and watch the little guy. I hope she keeps up the bird-watching after I'm gone. With whatever new guy she's banging.

[laughs]

"Welcome to group." they all say. "It's the way we roll."

" We have fun. "

"Cool." you say. The end of session finishes up and you start walking away when the guy who was talking about the bird calls to you.:

"The whole point is to mingle. "

"Not feeling up to it. " you say.

"Neither does anybody. That's why we do it. Myron. Multiple myeloma. You've never heard of it? Stay a while. " he says.

"I'm not really a mingler. "

"Not a crocheter either, apparently. "

"Didn't have time for pointless hobbies then, really don't have time for them now, and I'm especially uninterested in discovering that crocheting is a metaphor for healing or whatever."

"What you're feeling is totally normal." Myron says.

"You know, I wish people would stop telling me that totally insane things are normal."

"Have you looked around? "

"But you just accept that? You just accept everything that's going on? You make jokes about your wife having a new boyfriend?"

"I don't accept it, but in the event that I do kick the bucket, I hope she does find a boyfriend. Somebody nice. Less well-endowed to be sure, but nice. "

"Well, I just think I am in a different situation. Sam and I met when we were kids, and then started dating 10 years ago."

"How old is he? "

" Thirty-five."

"Yeah, he's gonna go through a major slut phase."

You laugh.

"I also have Tourette's."

You- "Good to know."

"Yeah. You come back."

"Nice to meet you, Myron."

"Nice to meet you, y/n."

"And thanks for the advice. "

" All right"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you gonna go through a slut phase?" You ask Sam.

"What? No. Why would you say that?"

"You're not even thinking about it?"

"That's the absolute furthest thing from my mind right now. It's further than like meeting someone on Tinder." You chuckle.

"Okay, but Tinder can't be that far from your mind because you just said it, which means you had to be thinking about it, which means you're thinking about this too."

"Yeah. I'm busted." Sam says.

"I'm serious. Look at you. The puppy-dog eyes.

"What?"

" This is a disaster. "

Sam: "What are you talking about?"

"You don't know. Because you have no experience. Women are gonna eat you alive."

" I can take care of myself."

"I know But what if you can't? Who's going to get you to go to bed and stop researching? Who's going to make you real food?"

"you don't make me real food."

"Yeah, but I would, hypothetically. "

"Well, our hypothetical food has been in the freezer for like a year." You got up and started near the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"Figuring out how to cook a real meal."

"Now?"

"No time like the present."

"How do I cook a chicken?" You say into the phone.

[Siri] Let me think about that.

Okay, I found this on the web for "How do I cook a chicken?"

"It's gonna be amazing."

~~~~~~~~~~

Just 'cause you're dying

doesn't mean your life stops.

Sam has been through so much so maybe if you found him a new girl, he wouldn't think about your passing.

In group support-

"And so, uh, when my numbers came back this time, I just, honestly, I just thought I can't keep fighting."

[Kate] "Jim, you don't have to go there. 'Cause it's all about attitude. "

"Well, let's let Jim have his process."

[Kate] "Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I just think that his process should be more positive. Everyone is entitled to... to be sad."

"Thank you."

"You know what I'm loving these days is meditation. And I... I know it sounds trite, but I just have been feeling so blessed every time I sit there in silence. Maybe you could try that now?

You laugh.

"Or we could laugh."

"That's okay too. "

" Sorry. I'm sorry. Just... Some of these women are so cheesy. "I want to dip you in whipped cream and put my cherry on top." What does that even mean, anatomically speaking?" You ask.

"Using a sundae model as a sexual proposition. It is confusing. I have to s... " Myron says.

"I mean, cherry... cherry's got to be a hymen, right?" You ask.

"Probably a busted hymen." You giggle.

[Kate] "Mm-hmm."

"I... I, um... mine broke on a horse. And me, I was born without one. So... It was my favorite horse, though. " ......

"Okay, uh, that's about it for today. "

~~~~~~~~~~

"Were you sexting just now?" Myron asks while you sitting down looking through tinder.

"Let me have my process." You say.

"Your process is sexting?"

"You're the one who said Sam would go through a slut phase. I thought you were crazy, but then I thought about it more, and he's gonna be a chick magnet. he already is And the worst part is, he's gonna have no idea how to handle it because he's going to be too sad. He hasn't dated to many people in his life. He's gonna be lonely and vulnerable. He already lost his fiance."

"Classic rookie mistake. " Myron states.

"What are you talking about? "

"Thinking you can do something to lessen the loss. There's a word for what you're doing. It's a technical term. You want to know it?"

You: "No, thanks."

"Anticipatory grieving.' Trying to cope with the loss before it happens. So, Meryl over there writes a birthday card to her husband for every year she's gonna be gone, and Jim... makes a video montage of himself as Santa for all the Christmases he's gonna miss with his kids. It doesn't change anything. Look, what do I know? My advice? You're hooking him up, concentrate on a booty. Yours, you know, it's... it's flat."

You laugh "My booty is not flat."

"You have a terrible ass. "

"Fuck you."

"Here, give me that. Oh, you got a match. Sexypants89."

"Okay, let me see that."

~~~~~~~~~~

You started interviewing girls that Sam got a match on from tinder at a coffee shop.

To be continued.

#irreplaceable you #supernatural family #sam winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #sam winchester one shot #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester reader insert #sam x reader #supernatural reader insert #jared padalecki #jensen and jared #misha collins #netflix #sam x y/n #sam x you #team free will #team free will x reader #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn family #sammy #supernatural angst #sam angst #supernatural sam #supernatural sad imagine #sam imagines

[wings-of-indigo]

A Note on Relationships (that shouldn't be controversial but probably will be)

At work the other day, I got asked by one of my coworkers if I was single. On this particular occasion, that coworker was male. However, before everyone thinks this is another post about misogyny and the assumptions men make about women's availability in the workplace, let me note that I have been asked this question before by several female coworkers of various ages, but all near or over thirty.

And Everytime, when I reply that I am currently single and generally happy to be so(and go on to explain my reasons for this rare state of single happiness) I've gotten a combination of Looks.

There's the 'ooookaaaay' Look, the 'you're weird' Look, the 'You're wasting your youth' Look, and the 'You'll regret that later' Look. (Just to name a few). I've gotten used to it.

In the interests of full and unbragging disclosure, I know that I can be considered 'attractive' for a female (And wow that was hard to say outside my head. But the difficulties female assertiveness about appearance will be saved for another date). Dancing all the time keeps my relatively skinny by non dance world standards (I'm 5'3.5", usually within 5lbs of 130 lbs and I generally wear an upscale size 4), and while I'm definitely not the archetypal model thin ballerina, the fact that I fit a small size 4 (occasionally cursing and swearing) states my point quite neatly. I fit into conventional standards of female beauty.

Here's the thing though, about those Looks I mentioned earlier. I didn't date in high school, and I generally don't date now. Sure, if I get lonely or drunk enough I'll window shop OkCupid at one in the morning, but rarely do I have the inclination to follow through once recovered. And for a lot of people my age, that seems to be weird. In our society Single people arent supposed to be happy about it. Especially women.

And that's just stupid.

Most people agree that a single-by-choice man, even a confirmed I-dont-ever-want-romance man, batts no eyes in any context. A woman of the same, however, is immediately assumed to have something wrong with her. Either she is traumatized from some past experience, or she is simply defective and frigid. Even a woman who has previously proved her 'correctness' with marriage, even children, is not immune. If that woman does not want to enter another romantic relationship (and I'm including the full spectrum of queer identities as possible partners whenever I say marriage, partner, or romantic) after a time, then she is Wrong and Broken. Even if she has been abused by her partner and doesn't feel comfortable or capable of exposing herself like that again. Even if she has lost her long term 'soul mate' and does not want anything or anyone else after their loss. One of our media's favorite romantic tropes is The Woman who Learns to Overcome her Tragic Past and find Happiness in the (99% male) Protagonist's Romantic and Sexual Intrest. Little girls are brought up to dream and plan their future wedding from the time they know what a wedding IS (which, spoiler alert: is pretty damn young. I first remember playing 'wedding' when I was about five and got a box of dress up costumes for Christmas).

So, it makes sense that a woman or girl, especially young not engaging or desiring to engage in Romantic Ventures hits some socially ingrained trigger points. It's still stupid.

Here's some reasons why (for me, y'all night have your own valid reasons). While not at intensive like I am now, I am holding down a full time job while doing anywhere from 15-20 hours of dance classes in studio, not counting any supplemental physical training and gym time I put in outside of class, while finishing an unrelated Bachelors Degree online, trying to shop for and cook dance supporting meals on a strict budget, do laundry, get a healthy amount of sleep, go to acting and singing coaching, and find funding for an upcoming dance program should pass auditions. I really, really don't have the time or emotional availability for a relationship.

And that is key here. People seem to underestimate the importance of emotional labor on both sides in a healthy relationship- you can't just show up to date night or activities together and make small talk. There's a reason people talk about 'emotional avaliabilty', and in most traditional 1950s style relationships it's the woman's job to avaliable for whichever man she's involved with. Unfortunately, the vast majority of men still seem to carry an unconscious bias towards this kind of relationship.

And, I'm sorry (not), but Im really not interested in That. I'm reminded of a tumblr post about cat ladies, and why men seem to think that's an insult to woman rather than themselves- that they're so unappealing they can't get a man. Leaving aside the sexist assumption a womans ambition ahould be to 'get a man'- Dude, if I wanted a man, I could get one. Any girl off the street could get one easier than ordering takeout when she's too tired to cook.

The problem lies not in the getting, but with the shopping. While I identify as bisexual and happily enjoy fun times of the erotic bent, one of my personal quirks is that I Can't Do One Nights. This is not misplaced slut shaming- I am fully aware and bear no disapproval towards pursuing casual sexual attraction. Your body, your choice. I just know myself, and that any sexual interaction with a stranger would be exceedingly unpleasant for me in an emotional sense.

I tend to be extroverted, and I love people. But I also grew up in an alcoholic household with a very dysfunctional and fraught marriage. My mother never beat us, but she's still controlling and can still make me feel like shit, and my dad still tends to be an emotional leech with terrifyingly destructive rages. (Yes, those are mental health issues, and I still love them-distantly- but it's not my job as their child to fix them or get them help.)

As a result, It takes me a while to trust someone, especially emotionally. And, as a female, sex is a huge act of trust and emotional investment.

I would love to create the loving marriages and relationships I see my friends having. It's one of my future fantasies- creating a home with a life partner, sharing dinner and cuddles and movies and giving each other good sex.

But here's the thing. I can give myself satisfying sex. And I, quite frankly, have other dreams too, ones that are going to demand a superhuman level of work. Getting back to the 'shopping' anology- the sad fact is that it is going to be very difficult to find a man who doesn't expect his partner to place him and his dreams above her own, and just as difficult to train one out of that mindset. (And girlfriends for girls are about as common as rainbow unicorns).

Having grown up as I did, I might have ridiculously high standards for romance. But I made a vow to never be my parents, and frankly I see no point in taking time away from what I want more than anything in order to appease an archaic societal preference.

Love does not mean the surrendering of self, and I am not going to devote myself anything less than something extraordinary.

So that's why I'm single, and I'm fine with that. Suck it.

#why we need feminism #feninism #relationship #dreams #romantic relationships #misogony #misogny #societal norms #societal standards

[drferox]

How do you feel about the way Greencross is seemingly trying to build a monopoly of vet practices in Australia? Concerning, or not as alarming as people think it is?

Mate, I have many potent, insider opinions about GreenX and the rise of corporate medicine. I have been considering writing on this topic for a while, but now seems as good a time as any.

But first, full disclosure of where I stand within the veterinary industry. I am an associate veterinarian, which means I work in a practice but don’t own it, and I work two jobs. My full time job is in private practice owned by a single vet who actually works there. My casual job is at an emergency center, owned by GreenX. I have also done relief work at a GreenX clinic.

And frankly, the more I work for GreenX, the more it makes me cheer on worker-owned co-ops.

GreenX is just one of the multi-practice corporate vet chains which are popping up not just in Australia, but overseas. GreenX is just the largest and is actually on the stock exchange. You can buy shares in GreenX. That means GreenX is accountable to its shareholders and expected to make a healthy profit.

GreenX owns large numbers of vet practices across Australia, but also owns all the Animal Emergency Centers, all the Petbarn brand pet stores, an external veterinary diagnostic laboratory, at least one crematorium, a number of specialist hospitals and runs the admin side for at least one university teaching hospital.

It also currently operates a ‘Healthy Pets Plus’ program, where for just $450 a year you can get free consults, and is working on bringing out its own pet insurance line.

How are you feeling about this? A little uneasy?

I have concerns about a monopoly, because in my neck of the woods GreenX owns the 4 closest 24 hour emergency vet clinics, in addition to all the others around the city, so I don’t really have much of a choice where to send my patients. They also own quite a lot of the general practices in my local region, so that’s hard to compete with.

For a few years there, they also sent a letter to my boss every year offering to buy his practice. Just a form letter, which I assume they sent out to lots of practices in a similar way.

They pay for all their vet employees to be Australian Veterinary Association members, which grants us all a voice and vote in relevant matters, but not to receive the Australian Veterinary Journal. I don’t know whether GreenX gets corporate discounts for signing up so many members. This makes me uneasy because Banfield in the USA, which is owned by Mars, financially rewards its employees for taking up leadership positions with the various representative organizations over there. Which means if it ever comes up, corporation is paying for a lot of people to be there if an important vote ever comes up…

I mean, I’m not a conspiracy nut, but I’m not exactly happy.

But that is the corporation side, the people on the ground are not the corporation. They are by and large decent vets and nurses hamstrung by the corporate rules they’re obliged to follow. For some this works out fine, particularly in their early years. They have a structured training plan and can see where to advance in the corporation. It provides a willing buyer for a practice owner who might otherwise have been unable to receive the price they were seeking (another issue for another day). It has removed some of the management stress from vets in many clinics and dispersed it, allowing a pool of locums to be drawn from to fill in absences.

Doing so has added a lot of middle management and a lot of red tape. They are frequently recruiting at industry events, and promoting their chain at events like the Dog Lovers Show.

Working on the ground as one of their casual emergency vets I am profoundly dissatisfied. Considering we are supposed to be a top of the line intensive care clinic some of my complaints and concerns have included:

The introduction of Healthy Pets Plus robbing the clinic of its emergency consult fee ($165) and crediting only $10 to our ‘income’ for that month.

Then having the gall to turn around and say that because we are not making as much money this quarter as we used to, our budget is reduced.

Not offering staff a worthwhile wage to do night shift, so unable to retain them very long.

Not paying emergency nurses anything above the award wage (minimum wage for the industry), even if they have been employed at that practice multiple years.

Nowhere to advance unless you pursue a position in management.

Not granting even a cost of living pay rise (in line with inflation) despite meeting expected profit targets for three years.

Telling employees they are not allowed to discuss their wages with each other, which I’m pretty damn sure is illegal and is definitely shady.

Not paying superannuation properly.

Not paying vets and nurses in management positions their backpay in a timely manner.

Making it ridiculously difficult to access your payslips to see if you were paid properly.

Needing to get approval months in advance to order extra stock for busy times of year

Watching the sheer stress of being a manager at these clinics wear good people down to the bone or brink of madness.

Once GreenX has bought into a practice, it’s nearly impossible to get rid of them.

Acquiring a practice and promising ‘nothing will change’, that all the things we like will stay the same. Only to change those things, slowly, over the following 3-5 years to match the other clinics in the chain.

Mandatory tea break.

I have also listened to management-types of GreenX make arguments for having unpaid internships in general practice for newly graduated veterinarians, for 12 weeks.

And just about lost my banana over it.

Unpaid. For Twelve weeks. Straight after graduation where they’ve qualified as veterinarians.

Oh hell no.

Interns typically get paid less anyway, and a new grad vet wage isn’t all that much. But they wanted to pay nothing for the first 3 months.

Why? Because new graduate vets are not profitable at the start, they typically cost the practice money as they get themselves established. Everyone knows this, it’s part of the deal when you take on a new grad.

Having to work 3 months straight out of uni for zero pay is insane, it’s almost murderous, and it’s simply evil. This plan was ripe for abuse.

It was also vocally shouted down at the PANPAC conference where it was suggested, thankfully, but these are non-vet, corporate types of people trying to run a series of vet practices for profit.

I just want to be the friendly neighborhood vet on the corner, you know? Just local, quality service where I can get to know the pets over time, and schoolkids aren’t afraid to bring in an injured bird if they find one in the playground. To be part of that community.

And this is what most vet practices have been. You own your job, you don’t need to make a massive profit, just enough to keep doing what you want to do.

But now GreenX has shareholders. The business owners are not on the ground with the rest of us. I have concerns and I don’t like it.

That is not to be negative to those working for Greencross, the boots on the ground that are probably not being treated as well as they should, but need a job to keep the lights on. For some the structure suits them. For some it’s just a job. It is the team on the ground that is the only reason I started working for them in the first place, and stayed.

But do I wish it was something other than GreenX? Yes.

UPDATE: I’d like to contribute in this discussion some ‘advice’ that was shared on Facebook. Members of this particular group are warned to be careful what they post as it’s not a private group and anybody can take a screenshot, so I think that’s fair game.

I do not like this. I do not like this at all. I can’t even tell if it’s satire or trolling, because it’s too close to the truth.

Not only does it make it look like it’s now all about the money (which it is, for the shareholders) it reduces veterinary medicine to a numbers game. By this metric, a ‘good vet’ is one that earns $300 per consult, and twice as much of their billing comes from lab fees as consult fees. They also admit almost a third of their consults.

Doesn’t matter if clients like them, if they solve cases or achieve good medical outcomes. All the qualitative stuff is gone, just the dollar values.

(Oh, and if you meet those metrics, you’re in no way guaranteed to get a pay rise. From experience).

Now it is entirely possible to meet those metrics just by working your cases appropriately and seeing a lot of them, but thinking like this pushes vets, especially young vets who want a pay rise so they can afford their own car, home, etc, to be thinking of the dollars and not the animal or client as they practice.

Maybe I am old fashioned or a dying breed during the rise of corporate veterinary medicine, but I am profoundly uncomfortable with this. Worse, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and a strong feeling of this is not my veterinary medicine.

I am heartened to see most of the comments on that thread from angry, like-minded vets insulted at being reduced to ‘trained monkeys’ and focusing on these metrics instead of patient outcomes and client satisfaction, but as GreenX picks up more and more young vets, training them to fit its mold, I am afraid of more of them being modeled into what GreenX wants, or becoming disillusioned and leaving the profession early.

#veterinarian #vetblr #corporate medicine #vet industry #vet school #ethics #collusion #corruption #greenX #greencross #vet

[podle5]

And now, a rant

I had an "interesting" interaction on Twitter yesterday.  One of the people that I follow, Jameela Jamil, had posted an article regarding a model not being fully paid and recognized for her work for Universal Standard.  The model in question, La'shaunee Steward, wrote an article for Medium about her experience (the article has since been taken down, I don't know why, but I have some guesses).  Ms. Steward is a plus sized black model, who I recognized immediately from her picture.  I had associated her with Universal Standard, because I'd seen her picture at one point on their website.  I also recognized the picture because it had gone fairly viral.  In the photograph, Ms. Steward is standing in profile, wearing white underwear and looking over her shoulder in the classic, sultry, pinup style.  She is beautiful, and I loved the picture because she's modeling a classic pinup look while fat and black.  She looks confident and amazing.

As soon as Jameela put out her tweet calling out Universal Standard there was, of course, a reply from a dude talking about how obesity shouldn't be glorified, and how it is unhealthy, and that obesity shouldn't be linked to fighting sexism or racism.  In a fit of bravery and outrage, I replied, "Please educate yourself.  Your voice is not needed here."  I immediately received a ping back, of the most obvious and predictable kind.  "Oh really, please feel free to “educate” me then on how obesity can be caused by anything other than overeating or lack of exercise. I’m intrigued as just 50 years ago there were no where near as many obese people as we see now. I suppose it’s the fault of climate change then?   Lack of reading comprehension aside, this was boring, and also not anything that I bothered to reply to, because there was no point. I hadn't replied to that person for his sake, I had replied because I didn't want to let that sort of stupidity stand.  People don't need to read that shit and then think that no one is aware that it is crap.  Also, people have been fat for all time.  My genetic stock (which is sturdy as hell) doesn't come from nowhere.  For some of us, it doesn't matter what we eat or hard we work out - we are still going to be fat.  For some of us, we have conditions that make it difficult or impossible for us to lose weight.  For others of us, we are fat and it is none of your fucking business.  Fat people exist, we've always been here.  We will always be here.   There are statistics that point out a higher rate of obesity, but I often wonder how we are calibrating who is obese and who isn't.  If you're going by that chart in the doctor's office, you need to know it is bullshit and was created for insurance adjustment purposes and was never meant to be a measurement for health.  If the argument you wish to cling to is that there's a much higher rate of obesity and that it is dangerous - if the hill you want to fight on is the hill that is labeled, "Holy shit this is so unhealthy we need to point it out every time we see it!" then I am assuming you also get enraged by gun violence, sexual assault, smokers, race car drivers, rodeo clowns and stunt-people.  

I was at the gym this morning (where I go most mornings, also - full disclosure, I'm a chunkster), having shower thoughts, like you do.  I found myself pondering this person's outrage - and the outrage of so many people.  I don't have the chops to address systemic racism this morning, certainly not from my own lived experience (I'm white, and slowly trying to work my way out of my own internalized racism - so, like - I probably have a super beginner's level of getting myself educated).  Why do fat people make them so angry?  What is so fucking rage inducing about a fat person just going about their lives?  Is it the aesthetics?  Because I gotta tell you, none of us are under any obligation at all to be pretty for you.  Do we need scapegoats that bad?  Is it un-tethered fear and anger that people need to dump somewhere?  I don't get it.  I guess what I'm saying is that I am in many ways just curious.  

Also - it is impressive to me how quickly dudes lose their shit when you tell them you aren't interested in what they have to say.  

(As a side note - this is distressing on a lot of levels, but also personally, because now I don't want to give Universal Standard my money and I really like their jeans.  Plus, Goop apparently now owns 20% of the company, so that's over.)    

[gigmusicdscvr]

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED: THIS IS HOW GEN-Z RESPONSE YOUR CRITICISM CREATIVELY 

Sometime ago, Instagram recommended us to a magazine called Aspirants Magazine. Their instagram account is heaven for visual enthusiasts, with alluring color grading and beautiful portraits. Let alone, their commitment to pick interesting individuals to be featured. We contacted the editorial team and that was totally surprising to know that they are juggling this promising magazine with high school and managing the task mostly through computers and internet connection. 

We ended up talk to Danielle (D), Ndemazea (N), and Ry (R). So, prepare yourself to erase pessimistic ideas about millennials, specifically gen-Z, as they definitely do things and make changes too. This is #GIGCHAT, please enjoy! 

Tell us brief history about Aspirants Magazine? Also how do you manage the task among you three? 

D: Aspirants is an idea I had bouncing around in my head for a couple years before it was realized. One day, I was waiting in line in a grocery store and took note of the magazines and tabloids on the rack in the checkout line. I started thinking about how celebrities we’ve all seen hundreds of times before repeatedly get the spotlight. What about that person—that musician, artist, model, actor, filmmaker, photographer, athlete, what-have-you—who works just as hard but just hasn’t been given the same opportunities? Doesn’t every hardworking creative deserve a chance to be on the front cover of a magazine? I think they do. Hence, Aspirants Magazine. 

N: As cliche as it sounds, my involvement in Aspirants can be pinpointed into one specific instance: a text. I had received a message from Ry and Danielle talking about an idea they had been working on for a while, and from the moment I heard about it, I knew that Aspirants was something different and special. Naturally, with that in mind, I sent my response. The rest is history. 

R: Aspirants works to spotlight creatives who never really have gotten their time in the light before. By doing so we are also acknowledging differences such as class or race that lend themselves to differences in perception and experience. In terms of managing tasks, we have delegated roles among the three of us and team members that work with us on each issue. Ultimately though, everyone on the board is sort of a renaissance person in the sense that we’re all able to help each other outside of our delegated roles if needed.

Do you consider/refer Aspirants to be called as magazine or zine?

D: In terms of the publication, we prefer to call it a magazine. However, in November we are expanding our brand from just Aspirants Magazine to Aspirants Co, so you may refer to us as Aspirants Co!

N: We prefer to call the publication a magazine!

R: Publication is a magazine!

How do you choose or pick artists to be your feature story?

D: We keep a log of artists we collectively update. Usually, we’ll stumble across someone on social media or across the internet and recognize their good intentions and good work. Additionally, submissions are open for every issue!

N: It’s probably the easiest part of the job. The internet has made it easier to share our talents, and with so many talented people in the world, we don’t have to throw the stone very far to find leagues of people to feature. And of course, sometimes those people come to us.

Other than musicians/artists, do you also bring up socio-political activists in your magazine?  

D: Aspirants in itself tries its best to be nonpartisan, but we aim to amplify the voices of those who are fighting for what they believe.

Among artist/musicians/figures that you feature and interview, what you could learn from them? 

D: So, so much! I’m so inspired by all of them. For example, I interviewed Maunder, a musician featured in Issue Three, and what he had to say about his music really inspired me. His music emphasizes honesty. To me, also patience. He wasn’t in a rush to release music just because he could; he took his time until he felt comfortable to do so and is now making awesome jams. I think I need a reminder that sometimes it’s okay for me to take my time. 

N: I’ve learned so much from each and every feature we’ve done, but as a whole, I have seen that there’s nothing conventional about being an artist. Each issue will show you multiple ways to express yourself and there’s no wrong way to do it. Our features have taught me that being genuine is key to success. 

R: Each of the creators featured here are inspirational. At their core, many of our creators emphasize other people. They emphasize community. I think that we—as a publication—are incredibly privileged to be able to work with creators who so closely share our vision. 

You also make a printed version of your magazine, how do you distribute it and how do you perceived the printed version ones in this digital era? Anyway, for me myself, printed magazine might be bulky and spacy, but it really feels nostalgic and real, we love it.

N: We distribute and publish our magazine with the self-publishing company Lulu. For us, the difference between looking at something online and holding something in your hands is immense, and everything feels much more real when you can touch something that you’ve created or see your face on the page.

Do you guys do this magazine as a side project and looking at the development, do you consider to make it your full time focus? 

D: We’re juggling the high school grind alongside this company, so I suppose it could be considered a side project for now, but I think all three of us want to be able to make it a full-time focus of some kind. 

N: Aspirants is a full-time job that, because of the aforementioned high school grind, is our “side project”. But it’s our passion and as soon as we can, Aspirants will become a full-time gig. 

R: Right now, Aspirants is a side project in the sense that I’m currently in high school. However, Aspirants is honestly something I always have my mind on, and it will always be one of my top priorities. 

How do you create and manage this team, as for some reasons finding and having people with the same amount of passion and sacrifice for something like magazine or blog or certain projects with almost zero profit (in the beginning) is quite hard?  

D: Google Drive, ClickUp, and Discord. Without those three applications, we’d probably be significantly more scatterbrained than we already are. But to delve deeper, the passion thing is a great question. I have a lot of struggles with mental illness so finding that passion is often difficult. However, I just try to keep in mind that I have people counting on me and people that have been positively impacted because of what I do. It allows me take a deep breath and move forward, even if it’s slowly. Profit was never the ultimate goal to us. We agreed on that when we started. It’d be a great benefit and it is an aim, but it’s not endgame. I don’t rely on Aspirants for income, and I hope one day I will, but in the meantime I am okay with where things are now. 

Now, what advice you would like to give to anyone/readers who wants to create change and inspirations through media or magazine specifically? 

D: Find some people you trust and can bounce ideas off of and go for it. Get feedback, work hard, and take advantage of your resources. We live in an amazing transitional age of technology where each and every one of us has an opportunity to create something unprecedented through the internet. Use it. 

N: Never stop creating. There will be days when you feel like it’s not worth it and there will be days when you want to quit and there will be days you will lie down on the ground, staring at the ceiling, wondering why you ever decided to start. But it’s worth it. Because there will be days where you’ll get a comment from someone giving you a compliment on your work or you’ll sell your first piece or you’ll have a larger turnout than expected at your event, and you’ll realize why you do it. And you’ll keep going. 

R: As cliche as it sounds, I would tell people to just start doing. It’s different for each person depending on our access to certain things but ultimately, get started in whatever way you can, as soon as possible. 

We really love your social media and website layout also art works, they're really cool and we fancy the color grading.

D: Credits to Ry, the one and only. 

R: Thank you so much! 

Last, share your favorite songs/musicians/music with us!

D: Dude, that’s like the hardest question for me to answer. Right now I’m digging the music of Disclosure, The Internet, MANON, and Twenty One Pilots’ new album. You can keep up with my favorite new music on this Spotify playlist. 

N: “Favorite” is a hard word, but if I have to choose, it would be any song made by Noname ever. She’s a beautiful artist that has done nothing but be true to herself, and her newest album Room 25 is a work of art. 

R: I honestly can’t tell you what my favorite songs are—this is an incredibly hard question to answer. At the time being though, my favorite song is Generation Why by Conan Gray.

Aspirants Magazine is online and printed magazine. Order here if you’re interested to purchase their publications. 

#gigchat #interview #magazine #publicist #music magazine #artists #musicians #journalism #journalist #gen z #millennials #young people #youth #music blog

[tapatapreview]

November 14, 2020 at 07:40AM https://ift.tt/2UrL8gm Gaming

Sackboy lastly has a recreation to name his personal. The smiley mascot for LittleBigPlanet and, sometimes, the PlayStation model has at all times been handled as extra of an icon than a personality, a cutesy tabula rasa by way of which all video-game-related issues are potential. In Sackboy: A Big Adventure, his purview is way more conventional. He’s a jumpman, a platformer within the custom of Mario, Sonic, Crash, and all the opposite mascots that got here earlier than him. Sackboy, each the character and the sport, rises to succeed the mascot platformer mantle effectively in lots of respects. Though its aesthetic usually feels bland, its stable platforming makes for a worthy problem.

Like many platformers, story is just not Sackboy’s robust go well with. You’re leaping round Craftverse, the world of LittleBigPlanet, to put it aside from a villainous jester doll referred to as Vex. Though you will get a reasonably regular stream of updates reminding you of Vex’s evil presence, there’s not a lot it’s essential to know. You might say the story is a waste of Sackboy’s surprisingly compelling cuteness. On the opposite hand, you possibly can argue that Sackboy’s cuteness retains your curiosity within the recreation afloat, even and not using a compelling story.

Sackboy repeatedly evokes LittleBigPlanet’s arts-and-crafts visible aesthetic. Sometimes, the motif works effectively. There are nice visible particulars in lots of the ranges, like hard-drawn cutouts of animals within the backgrounds or platforms constituted of stacks of books, which suggest that the degrees have been arrange in a toddler’s bed room. More usually, although, it results in generic “imagination-world” design. Most of the enemies are multi-colored animals or blocks with cute however offended eyes. And, even with these craftsy particulars, the fundamental stage settings–space, the jungle, beneath the sea–all really feel obscure.

Sackboy: A Big Adventure’s visible design on the generic aspect, however the artwork itself is beautiful on PS5.

While the visible design is usually uninspired, the artwork itself exhibits off the spectacular technical capabilities of the PlayStation 5. The vibrant and colourful ranges, filled with spinning platforms, lasers, and every kind of shifting components, make for a visible feast in 4K. The actions of the gracefully weaving digital camera really feel notably easy. Lasers and metallic surfaces–like ruby armored crabs–shine. It could not give Craftworld a powerful sense of place, however the artwork appears to be like lovely.

It additionally helps that the sport has a terrific soundtrack to maintain you shifting. Each stage’s catchy, upbeat observe feels good to leap alongside to. Some of them function riffs primarily based on pop hits and classical scores chances are you’ll acknowledge. I not often take a second to cease and simply take heed to recreation music, however I steadily discovered myself eager to take these tracks in, both as a result of they have been songs I acknowledged or as a result of they merely had me bouncing my head alongside.

Sackboy’s core competency, platforming, is sort of robust. All the strikes in Sackboy’s core arsenal–a bounce with a secondary flutter, a punch, and a roll–all really feel responsive and exact. Like the LittleBigPlanet video games, Sackboy’s bounce is just a little floaty with a full button press, however having a flutter capacity offers you extra management over when and the way you land. Despite its storybook look, Sackboy does function sequences that current some vital challenges, notably when you’re making an attempt to gather each merchandise alongside the way in which. But the degrees are constructed round Sackboy’s explicit bounce, and the sport’s calls for are primarily based round it.

Sackboy’s multi-faceted ranges are the actual stars, although. It looks like each a part of every stage serves up a brand new problem, which retains issues contemporary. Some areas are easy, pushing you to string collectively jumps as when you’re operating an impediment course. Other areas are extra self-contained. In some ranges, you are compelled to look a bigger space for a set of hidden keys to advance. Some are constructed round gadgets you discover initially of every stage, like a boomerang, which lets you hit enemies and acquire gadgets from afar, or anti-gravity boots, which allow you to float on the top of your bounce for an prolonged time frame. There’s an unbelievable quantity of selection inside every stage and from one stage to the following.

Not each idea stage works, although. Each world has a musical stage, the place all the weather of the world–enemies, platforms, and background objects–move in time with pop songs like “Uptown Funk,” that are enjoying, lyrics and all. It’s an attention-grabbing idea, however in the end jarring. Different stage components transfer in time with totally different components of the music, which made it laborious to trace at occasions. There’s a second of recognition when every stage begins, which is fairly neat, however that rapidly falls away. By the top, the lyrics are so distracting that it may be tough to maintain observe of the whole lot occurring. Obviously, that is in stark distinction with the usual soundtrack, which is spectacular with and and not using a pop connection.

Gallery

Sackboy is a hoarder’s platformer. Every stage is chock-full of issues to select up: rating bubbles, a LittleBigPlanet holdover; collectibells, which you employ to purchase costumes between ranges; dreamer orbs, which it’s essential to acquire to unlock the ultimate stage of every world; and costume components. Bounding by way of every stage, you are always grabbing gadgets and scouring the degrees for extra. To discover all of it, it’s essential to maintain a watch out for alternate paths, further areas, and hidden rooms housing self-contained minigames and puzzles. At the top of every stage, you are given a trophy primarily based on what number of rating bubbles you bought. (It takes an image of your Sackboy with the trophy. It’s cute.) While you’ll be able to technically full a stage with little or no, the expectation is that you’ll make an effort to seek out most, if not all, of it.

And reducing your rating is the first type of punishment. You begin every stage with 5 lives, which you lose by getting hit by enemies or falling in pits. When you lose a life, you lose a share of your rating bubbles, making it tougher to get a excessive rating. When you lose all of your lives, you need to begin the extent over. Having a restricted variety of lives is never an issue–even whenever you die steadily, further lives begin popping up steadily from enemies and breakable gadgets the second you lose one. The actual affect is the way it impacts your rating.

So the purpose is to grasp every stage, finishing it with the very best potential rating, amassing all of the essential gadgets, and with out shedding a life. It appears pretty attainable at first, however by the midway level within the recreation, Sackboy ramps as much as supply a reasonably vital problem, even with out the rating chase. Mastering most ranges ought to take a pair tries, and there is at all times room for enchancment. That stated, the sport kindly avoids penalizing much less aggressive completionists; apart from rating bubbles, when you purchase an merchandise, you have got it for good. Even the dreamer orbs and costume items you’ve got acquired earlier than dying mid-level depend as acquired.

The story is probably not extremely attention-grabbing, however the lovely artwork carries you thru.

In addition to the usual ranges, you’ll be able to unlock brief however further difficult time trial ranges that actually push you to make each motion depend. Even these ranges function a collectible-hunting component–most have clocks on the earth that shave seconds off your time. Short and exact, these challenges really feel very totally different from the lengthy, winding marketing campaign ranges and provide the probability to combine issues up if the usual circulate ever begins to really feel stale.

There are additionally elective co-op-only Teamwork ranges, which function puzzles that require a certain quantity of coordination. (In the curiosity of full disclosure: I’m quarantining solo, so I’ve solely performed one among these, simply to get a way of how they work. I’ll say this: The puzzles are trickier whenever you’re holding two controllers without delay.) You may play the core Sackboy marketing campaign multiplayer by way of native co-op throughout with as much as 4 gamers. Everyone performs as Sackboy, however with totally different outfits, so you’ll be able to put that wardrobe to good use. According to , cross-gen on-line multiplayer is coming later this 12 months. Personally, I choose to play platformers solo, so I did not see not gaining access to co-op as an actual loss.

Sackboy is a stable platformer and, regardless of its rote artwork type, makes nice use of the PS5’s enhanced visible and technical efficiency. It’s a enjoyable little romp of a platformer, with a lot of attention-grabbing moments. At occasions, the visible design can look a bit flat. Even in these moments, although, the tight controls and attention-grabbing stage layouts create gameplay challenges that make these flaws simple to miss.

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The post Sackboy: A Big Adventure Review appeared first on TapaTap Review.

#November 14 #2020 at 07:40AM

[joshuasm28]

Gorilla Watches Fastback | Hands On Review

Gorilla Watches Fastback

    Octavio Garcia, the man behind the Gorilla Watches Fastback, is the former Creative Director at Audemars Piguet. Yep, Audemars Piguet, one of the most well known luxury watch brands in the world. Instead of going to another high profile competitor, Octavio decided to start his own brand, Gorilla Watches, and his first model is obviously race car and fashion driven, using many high end materials in a watch that comes in under $1000. This is the second microbrand watch I have seen in person using all these different materials, and no there is no doubt a lot is going on with this watch, but I think there is an audience for it, and with the exception of the movement (more on that later), it is a very interesting wristwatch.

    Gorilla Watches Fastback Specifications:

44mm Case/ 48mm Including Crown

53mm Lug to Lug

13.6mm Thick

32mm Lugs

Forged Carbon, Titanium, Ceramic and Aluminum

Sapphire Crystal

Miyota 8215 Automatic Movement

110 Grams

100 Meters WR

2 Straps, 1 Leather, 1 Rubber

Price $880.00 USD

https://www.gorillawatches.ch/product/gorilla-fastback/

    There are many things to discuss when it comes to the Gorilla Watches Fastback, but lets get right to the obvious, the use of 4 different materials for the case construction. Some of you may have read my review on the Vilhelm Elemental a few months ago, which has a similar case shape, materials and overall fashion aesthetic, and while both watches are similar, there are many differences as well. The mid case is forged carbon fiber composite, which in the simplest of terms is a polymer with small strands of carbon fiber mixed in. I have seen quite a few of these forged carbon cases over the years and I would say the Fastback is near the top. The edges are smooth and it does not have that plastic-like feel some are known to have. The case back and crown are titanium and the top of the case is black ceramic. Giving just a touch of color and adding to the stacked case is a red anodized aluminum strip that spans the entire case just under the ceramic. I would not say the materials are perfectly seamless, but it is close and does not come off as poorly done. If this watch sold for $10,000 I would expect it to be perfect.

    The Gorilla Watches Fastback has a dial that is beautiful and intriguing to look at, but at the same time, is a little difficult to read. It is definitely one of those watches that takes awhile to get used to. Heavily raced inspired, I do not have an issue with the odometer style dial, but you do have to “look” for the hands and figure out which is which. The second hand is black with a decent size white tip, okay that one is located. The hour hand is actually the skeletonized black and white disc, and the minute hand is the larger red one. Like I said, it does take some getting used to. Under the hour disc is some perlage work, which is beautiful when captured just right by the light.

    Obviously with the materials used here the Gorilla Watches Fastback is extremely light, and though it is a larger watch, you really will not feel it too much on the wrist. There are two straps that come with the Fastback and changing them out is easy enough with a standard pin tool or a small screwdriver. The issue, for some, will be that you are only going to be using these two straps for the life of this watch as aftermarket straps are not possible. At its widest point you are looking at 32mm and it tapers down to 26mm. It MIGHT be possible to have a custom strap made, but I would imagine you will have to send the watch to the strap maker so he can properly measure it to get it just right. Both straps are very good quality though I mainly wore it on the rubber as I liked the look better.

    With a name like Gorilla Watches you probably figured there is going to be a gorilla somewhere on the watch, right? Well, you would not wrong, and you will find it on the case back. It is a large angry gorilla and the style of the case back reminds me of an Alessandro Baldieri watch from a few years ago. It also lists the materials used, as you can see in the photo below. It might be a little gimmicky but the I feel the engraving is done well, and with a watch such as this, I think gimmicky is okay.

    What is one of my favorite aspects of the Gorilla Watches Fastback? Easy, the crown. The shape is unique, and the machining is very well done. I am not sure how they manufactured these but I do know I love it. At first glance you think that it will probably not move very well and it would be awkward to grip and manipulate; the reality is none of that is true. It is truly a fantastic crown, the epitome of form and function. I love the aesthetic and wish more companies would step outside the box when it comes to crowns and buckles instead of the same catalog parts so many use.

    This all brings me to a big point of contention, at least for me. The Gorilla Watches Fastback is powered by the Miyota 8215. While this movement has been in use for many, many years, it is a lower beat rate movement that is also non hacking. For anyone reading this that does not know what hacking means, in the simplest of terms the second hand does not stop when you pull the crown all the way out. This makes accuracy very hard to determine because you are never really sure if you set it right to begin with. The other issue with this movement is it is jittery and I have personally owned a few watches over the years with the 8215 that had the stuttering second hand, where it will legit stop moving for a few seconds and then it will skip and catch up, or it will just stutter around the dial at certain points. Now, full disclosure, I have not seen this yet with this particular example in the Fastback, but that does not mean it can not happen in the future.

    At $880 the Gorilla Watches Fastback has a lot going for it. The owner has a serious pedigree with his work history and the design, while it might be over the top for some, is pretty damn cool, at least to me. Unfortunately, while I do find it good looking, fun and also well made, it is not the type of watch for me. A good 5-7 years ago, I could totally see myself going nuts over this watch. I am not saying this watch is only for the younger crowd either, it was just the place I was in at that time of my life and this is something that would have appealed to me. The craftsmanship is evident when looking at photos or videos and it is easy to see that they paid attention to every small detail. The one big detail they glossed over in my opinion, was the movement. I would have praised the Fastback top to bottom if it had a Miyota 9015 at the very least, or maybe go with a Sellita SW200. Maybe it came down to a cost issue and because of all the materials used, Gorilla Watches needed an inexpensive movement to keep the overall price down. If that were the case than I wish they went with a Seiko movement like the NH35.

Is the Fastback and beautiful and well made watch? Yes. Does it use a combination high grade materials? Sure does. Do I wish it had a better movement? Without a doubt. Is it the watch for me? No, it is not.

That is not to say it is not the watch for you. If the type of movement is not a big issue to you or you feel the design and materials are enough to overlook it, then I hope I presented the watch to you in a way to help you make up your mind, one way or the other.

Make sure to check out the video if you have not yet and you can see more shots of this watch on our social media channels as well.

  The post Gorilla Watches Fastback | Hands On Review appeared first on WatchReport.com.

[yolandadsims]

INTERVIEW WITH TOP BRITISH HEPTATHLETE!

One of the greatest privileges to come from writing this blog is the epic 1-on-1 exposure to world-class professionals operating in the health & wellness arena. From Elle Macpherson to Steffi Graf, I’ve recorded my Interviews on a special section of FitnessOnToast.com, and today I’m thrilled to reveal another fascinating insight into the life of a top-level British athlete, Katarina Johnson-Thompson, of heptathlon fame! Katarina hosted a class with my friends at BRITA which amongst other things, touched on the importance of optimal hydration – a topic I’ve written about several times on this blog; with a gruelling 7 components to master for her athletic discipline, I wanted to understand how she approaches this incredibly broad ask, and how she tailors her lifestyle to the task! She took attendees through a seriously demanding Switch7 workout for an hour, building on Hydration, Speed, Power, Strength, Agility, Stamina and Recovery. Click MORE to read our full interview…

Research by BRITA has revealed that 68% of fitness fanatics believe that their current exercise routine isn’t challenging their body, and 44% admitting they don’t understand when to hydrate optimally. A whopping 34% admitted they only hydrate once the workout is over! I spoke to Katarina about her hydration habits and her training regime more broadly. These are her responses;

F.O.T: How do you ensure to stay hydrated throughout the day? I’m constantly drinking so it’s never really been a concern for me. It’s second nature I guess… And by the way, I don’t mean “that kind” of drink – something soft; water, juice, an energy drink etc.

How much water do you typically drink per day and how does that differ depending on training?  I try for at least 1.5 litres a day. In Montpellier, it’s been more because of the heat. It’s really important for everybody to hydrate throughout the day, no matter where they are. I usually carry my BRITA fill&go Active bottle with me which is great as means I can easily get a drink and hydrate. I make sure I drink enough water throughout the day but especially before exercise. Most people don’t and in fact, over two-thirds of people are confused about hydration when exercising.

What sort of physique – and indeed mindset – do you think you need to be a heptathlon? How does that differ from other disciplines? In the heptathlon, there’s such a wide range of physiques that it is very difficult to say what physique you need or what is ideal. Although we are doing the same event (heptathlon), my physique may mean I’m strong in one of the disciplines but not so good in another whereas another athlete may be the exact opposite, be really strong in the discipline that I’m weaker at and be weaker at a discipline that I’m stronger in and both be good athletes. All heptathletes have different strengths and weaknesses which is what makes it so interesting and enjoyable.

How do you train effectively for so many different disciplines at one time, and does that present an increased risk of injury? It comes down to a lot of planning. My coach sets the training plans so I go by what he says but there is a lot of structure to each of my training sessions. I have a timetable which says that one day I will work on my hurdles and high jump, for example, then the following day we may do sprint endurance training and weight training. It’s all planned out so I can train as I need to be without overdoing a certain aspect and becoming more susceptible to risking injury.

What type of training do you do aside from actually working on each particular sport? For instance, do you do weight training in the gym and if so what kind of exercises do you do and how often? Yes I have two gym sessions a week which target almost every major muscle group in the body – think of the major compound moves, squats, cleans, deadlifts etc. Other training that’s different to track are hill runs which really work on speed endurance and push your lactic threshold.

Do you do any type of rehab training and if so could you mention what that would involve, perhaps a short key routine you do a lot? I do a rehab session every Monday, which targets injuries I’ve had in the past. For example hamstring rolls on a yoga ball or foot drills in the sandpit. That aside, it is taking the right precautions as part of a regular routine – stretching properly, having ice-baths, getting in the correct nutrition to aid recovery.

How often do you get treatments and massage done? Maybe twice or three times a week

If you could only perform one exercise again in your life, what would it be? Probably running – I strangely enjoy which is handy considering I’m an athlete.

When you’re preparing for an event, do you have lucky charms or superstitions? Just get my music ready – I make sure my playlist is how I want it to be. Other than that, I like to get everything in for that event in order and organised ahead of time so my bags are packed and I am ready.

What does a typical day in terms of meals look like (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks). How many calories do you consume roughly leading such an active lifestyle both for on- and off-season? Maybe around 2000 calories. Fruit/porridge/protein smoothie for breakfast. Avocado and eggs on toast for lunch. Red meat or chicken or prawns and rice and veg for dinner. I will snacks on extra protein – I use SiS Whey20’s and bananas / more fruit.

Who are you female role models? Serena Williams – she’s amazing. Nothing more to add.

How was the Rio experience? Fab. I’m lucky in a way as my event is usually the first two days of athletics so once that’s done I get a chance to relax, go out and explore. If I get a chance to go back and explore more of South America I definitely would. I think everybody knows I love animals, I’m fascinated by them so would love to have the chance to see how they live in their natural habitat.

Do you ever struggle with motivation and if so what gets you up in the morning when you really don’t want to train? The thought of being ready on competition day. You don’t want to go into the biggest test of your life thinking you’re underprepared / not given it your all which I think is true for most aspects of life.

Have you ever had a massive setback in your professional career, and how did you come back?  Everyone has setbacks, it’s just life. When you get over setbacks you become a proper adult.

QUICKFIRE:

Workout or Lie In? Lie in (not the answer you were expecting) Yoga or Spinning? Yoga Skiing or Swimming? Skiing Trail or treadmill? Trail Lazy beach holiday or active adventure? Lazy beach LA or UK? UK Protein or Carbs? Carbs Blueberries or Strawberries? Strawberries Coffee or Herbal Tea? Coffee Blended smoothie or fresh juice? Fresh juice High Heels or Trainers? Trainers Heavy weights or Body weight? Body weight Solo or Group Workouts? Solo Occasional treat or total dedication? Occasional treat Your favourite workout tunes? Anything Kanye!

___________________________________

THIS IS A SPONSORED PIECE OF CONTENT IN PARTNERSHIP WITH BRITA. PLEASE SEE MY DISCLOSURE PAGE FOR MORE ABOUT WHY I TAKE ON SUCH PROJECTS.

The post INTERVIEW WITH TOP BRITISH HEPTATHLETE! appeared first on Fitness on Toast.

from Health And Fitness Updates http://fitnessontoast.com/2017/05/17/interview-with-top-british-heptathlete/

[muscledemandsrespect]

INTERVIEW WITH TOP BRITISH HEPTATHLETE!

One of the greatest privileges to come from writing this blog is the epic 1-on-1 exposure to world-class professionals operating in the health & wellness arena. From Elle Macpherson to Steffi Graf, I’ve recorded my Interviews on a special section of FitnessOnToast.com, and today I’m thrilled to reveal another fascinating insight into the life of a top-level British athlete, Katarina Johnson-Thompson, of heptathlon fame! Katarina hosted a class with my friends at BRITA which amongst other things, touched on the importance of optimal hydration – a topic I’ve written about several times on this blog; with a gruelling 7 components to master for her athletic discipline, I wanted to understand how she approaches this incredibly broad ask, and how she tailors her lifestyle to the task! She took attendees through a seriously demanding Switch7 workout for an hour, building on Hydration, Speed, Power, Strength, Agility, Stamina and Recovery. Click MORE to read our full interview…

Research by BRITA has revealed that 68% of fitness fanatics believe that their current exercise routine isn’t challenging their body, and 44% admitting they don’t understand when to hydrate optimally. A whopping 34% admitted they only hydrate once the workout is over! I spoke to Katarina about her hydration habits and her training regime more broadly. These are her responses;

F.O.T: How do you ensure to stay hydrated throughout the day? I’m constantly drinking so it’s never really been a concern for me. It’s second nature I guess… And by the way, I don’t mean “that kind” of drink – something soft; water, juice, an energy drink etc.

How much water do you typically drink per day and how does that differ depending on training?  I try for at least 1.5 litres a day. In Montpellier, it’s been more because of the heat. It’s really important for everybody to hydrate throughout the day, no matter where they are. I usually carry my BRITA fill&go Active bottle with me which is great as means I can easily get a drink and hydrate. I make sure I drink enough water throughout the day but especially before exercise. Most people don’t and in fact, over two-thirds of people are confused about hydration when exercising.

What sort of physique – and indeed mindset – do you think you need to be a heptathlon? How does that differ from other disciplines? In the heptathlon, there’s such a wide range of physiques that it is very difficult to say what physique you need or what is ideal. Although we are doing the same event (heptathlon), my physique may mean I’m strong in one of the disciplines but not so good in another whereas another athlete may be the exact opposite, be really strong in the discipline that I’m weaker at and be weaker at a discipline that I’m stronger in and both be good athletes. All heptathletes have different strengths and weaknesses which is what makes it so interesting and enjoyable.

How do you train effectively for so many different disciplines at one time, and does that present an increased risk of injury? It comes down to a lot of planning. My coach sets the training plans so I go by what he says but there is a lot of structure to each of my training sessions. I have a timetable which says that one day I will work on my hurdles and high jump, for example, then the following day we may do sprint endurance training and weight training. It’s all planned out so I can train as I need to be without overdoing a certain aspect and becoming more susceptible to risking injury.

What type of training do you do aside from actually working on each particular sport? For instance, do you do weight training in the gym and if so what kind of exercises do you do and how often? Yes I have two gym sessions a week which target almost every major muscle group in the body – think of the major compound moves, squats, cleans, deadlifts etc. Other training that’s different to track are hill runs which really work on speed endurance and push your lactic threshold.

Do you do any type of rehab training and if so could you mention what that would involve, perhaps a short key routine you do a lot? I do a rehab session every Monday, which targets injuries I’ve had in the past. For example hamstring rolls on a yoga ball or foot drills in the sandpit. That aside, it is taking the right precautions as part of a regular routine – stretching properly, having ice-baths, getting in the correct nutrition to aid recovery.

How often do you get treatments and massage done? Maybe twice or three times a week

If you could only perform one exercise again in your life, what would it be? Probably running – I strangely enjoy which is handy considering I’m an athlete.

When you’re preparing for an event, do you have lucky charms or superstitions? Just get my music ready – I make sure my playlist is how I want it to be. Other than that, I like to get everything in for that event in order and organised ahead of time so my bags are packed and I am ready.

What does a typical day in terms of meals look like (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks). How many calories do you consume roughly leading such an active lifestyle both for on- and off-season? Maybe around 2000 calories. Fruit/porridge/protein smoothie for breakfast. Avocado and eggs on toast for lunch. Red meat or chicken or prawns and rice and veg for dinner. I will snacks on extra protein – I use SiS Whey20’s and bananas / more fruit.

Who are you female role models? Serena Williams – she’s amazing. Nothing more to add.

How was the Rio experience? Fab. I’m lucky in a way as my event is usually the first two days of athletics so once that’s done I get a chance to relax, go out and explore. If I get a chance to go back and explore more of South America I definitely would. I think everybody knows I love animals, I’m fascinated by them so would love to have the chance to see how they live in their natural habitat.

Do you ever struggle with motivation and if so what gets you up in the morning when you really don’t want to train? The thought of being ready on competition day. You don’t want to go into the biggest test of your life thinking you’re underprepared / not given it your all which I think is true for most aspects of life.

Have you ever had a massive setback in your professional career, and how did you come back?  Everyone has setbacks, it’s just life. When you get over setbacks you become a proper adult.

QUICKFIRE:

Workout or Lie In? Lie in (not the answer you were expecting) Yoga or Spinning? Yoga Skiing or Swimming? Skiing Trail or treadmill? Trail Lazy beach holiday or active adventure? Lazy beach LA or UK? UK Protein or Carbs? Carbs Blueberries or Strawberries? Strawberries Coffee or Herbal Tea? Coffee Blended smoothie or fresh juice? Fresh juice High Heels or Trainers? Trainers Heavy weights or Body weight? Body weight Solo or Group Workouts? Solo Occasional treat or total dedication? Occasional treat Your favourite workout tunes? Anything Kanye!

___________________________________

THIS IS A SPONSORED PIECE OF CONTENT IN PARTNERSHIP WITH BRITA. PLEASE SEE MY DISCLOSURE PAGE FOR MORE ABOUT WHY I TAKE ON SUCH PROJECTS.

The post INTERVIEW WITH TOP BRITISH HEPTATHLETE! appeared first on Fitness on Toast.

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