babe don’t worry this time instead of can’t stop partying by weezer 10 hours loop for the sex playlist i’m putting on the pathologic soundtrack and NO the wall size dankovsky poster does NOT come down during sex
How I feel putting details in my WIP that seem insignificant but I know are going to be relevant two books down the line:
fuck this shit i’m gonna start orienting my gender identity over how many bottles of soap i need to shower
me: and then we kissed. but i don’t know if it’s gay? because i said no homo first. so. yeah. sorry to get all up in my feels bro, my guys just confuse me sometime. you know? homie to homie.
priest: [sobbing] please get out of the confessional booth
you’re not gonna refuse a giant feral bird woman are you
just found out gay people can have premarital sex too
just got told to leave the divorce proceedings because i wouldn’t stop squishing my wife’s head in the distance with my fingers
Sometimes I get the impulse to put my hand in a blender and then I’m like nah bro don’t do that but I still want to like I wanna see what the forbidden flesh smoothie looks like even if it means I can’t have fingers anymore
bro? why are you crying? your parents are getting divorced? is it because your dad is queer-coded and femme?
hey check this out [takes off my pointy gnome hat and reveals the big rock i am going to smash you to death with]
fuck this shit. i’m out of here [puts all my belongings in a tiny red and white dotted knapsack at the end of a stick]
babe i’m sorry for calling your pussy poggers please come back to bed
Anybody else look at their thighs and think “damn, those are hot. wonder how many eggs i can crack with them”
instead of being the girl who says “hii” or “bruh”… will you do me the honor… of being the girl who says “i do?”
I have been successfully tempted once again. No promises for the future.
girls who say “hiii” this and girls who say “bruh” that. they’re girlfriends and they’re in love. have some fucking respect