#funny christian | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonsbean · 21 days

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This Good Friday/Easter weekend I would like to inspire us all to take Jesus off the cross. Just take him right on down, ok? He’s done. He doesn’t need to be put back up every year. In case you don’t believe me you can look at the gospel of John how he said it’s finished then in Luke where he left when back to His home with the scars still on his hands and feet. He’s not still on the cross and hasn’t been for thousands of years. No need to refresh the wounds. We can celebrate that he’s not dead every day not just on the first Sunday after the first full moon past the spring equinox.

#funny christian #jesus christ #good friday #easter #christianity #take Jesus #off the cross

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babbeldumpsterfire · 3 months

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Bildad's battle cry in the italian dubbing always cracks me up...

In english he's like: "Woah woah woah there!" but in italian he's like "WOOOOOO OHOOH-WOWODBOLOBOWAWAWA".

#bildad the shuhite #good omens #david tennant #michael sheen #I have a lot of beefs with italian dubbing but this is so funny lol #people need to hear this even just once #bildad il suchita #edit: the voice actor is #Christian Iansante #perfect voice match for Crowley imho #mi sono completamente dimenticata di creditarlo nei tag😭

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pirateprincessjess · 10 days

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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

#still not really sure what part of this joke was funny?#cuz if the prank had worked #then they would have made an 8 year old think she had lost her family and been rejected by god #which isn’t really much of a joke #Christian’s are weird yall #pirateprincessjess

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ao3-crack · 8 months

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#archive of our own #ao3 stuff #ao3 quotes #archive of our own quotes #fanfic #fanfic quotes #funny #ao3 #working title #you can’t go through 15 years of christian school without some kind of religious trauma

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ar1deo · 2 years

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american psycho x mean girls

#american psycho #mean girls #2000s movies #film #2000s #christian bale #lindsay lohan #filmedit #i think i’m funny #terfs/radfems don’t interact

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ef-1 · 2 months

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reminder that any sort of allegations where real fucking people are involved, when we know so little, are not canon fodder for your fandom dick measuring contest

#waking up at 3am to this and people think theyre being funny #try not to seem so gleeful- if not for anything then for your electronic footprint #some of you are such weirdos jesus christ #f1 #christian horner

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lemonduckisnowawake · 6 months

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You know, it's a tragedy that there are no (or very little) Vampire x Christian stories out there, not for angst or theology or forbidden seductiveness or whatnot but for the sheer comedy of it all. I mean, the Christian would technically be immune to all of the vampire's shenanigans, like for example...

Vampire: Fool, I am the most powerful vampire in the West. Nothing but the force of an entire holy temple could even deign to scratch me Christian: Idiot, I AM a holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19, fear me and the Spirit inside that can burn you to ashes

#this thought was brought on by a conversation i saw on the km shea discord #and also my need to theologize everything #it would be so funny to me too if we added the fact that the human Christian was also anemic #(not because anemia is funny. especially not if it's chronic. just the fact that the vamp couldn't bite the human)#truth be told it doesn't even have to be a romance to me. just a chaotic comedy duo #lemon duck quacks #yeah this is funny #for the words!#one day i will write all my deranged supernatural story ideas that involve way too much Christian imagery and comedy #but for now....#anyway how to make the most unbiteable human that you cannot help be drawn to as a modernized vamp?#Christian and likely chronically iron deficient #i am very sorry if this is offensive #but you know #vampires

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tenaciousgeckos · 1 month

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Shakespeare: So, in Macbeth, the forest doesn't actually move, it's just an army holding branches

C.S. Lewis & J.R.R. Tolkien: And we took that personally

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tyxaar · 5 months

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Idea for all you pagans and witches out there: If you get Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons or those sorts knocking at your door, instead of politely turning them away, don on your most witchy, out-there, non-christian-friendly accessories and attire and open the door.

Be cheerful and welcoming! Say you’re more then open to chat about spirituality, take their pamphlets, try to show them any books of your own you have, hell, even invite them inside for a cup of tea by your altar to Odin.

I don’t know how it’ll go down, but I’m almost certain the interaction will be funny af.

#jehovas witnesses #religion #mormonism #paganism #witchcraft #prank #meme #christian fundamentalism #religious meme #making extreme religious groups very uncomfortable in your precense #is very funny

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bloodenjoyer · 2 years

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" ______ could do patrick bateman but christian bale couldn't do-" Stopping u right there. yes he could i promise you he could

#this format works with most actors but it really doesnt work with christian bale . even using the patrick bateman example is funny bc like #when u look into exactly how dedicated he was to that role . ESPECIALLY compared w the other actors they wanted for the movie...#baz.txt

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moonsbean · 2 months

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People who named their children after one of the prophets: Do you not remember what happened to them? At what age do you let the child know their name sake died in a terrifying and albeit graphic way?

#christianity #prophets #bible #christian bible #funny Christian

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mitchipedia · 5 months

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