#funny incorrect quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shyjusticewarrior · 2 days

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Jason: Do I have any regrets? *pulls out long list*

Jason: "Achieving consciousness-" that was a big one.

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jeena-says-hi · 9 months

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The middle section of Nimona was basically:

#hehe #I love b99 #funny #meme #funny meme #incorrect quotes #funny incorrect quotes #nimona #ninona memes #funny Ninona memes #nimona meme #funny mimona meme #Brooklyn 99 #b99 #ballister x ambrosius #over 1k

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dudesrysly · 21 days

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Hen: so, how was the honeymoon?

Eddie: Buck got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate.

Eddie: He said, "good luck trying to return me without the receipt".

Eddie: I love him.

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iamreallysherlocked · 1 year

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John: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Sherlock: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

John: ...

John: Fuck you.

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get-cersie-an-elephant · 3 months

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Brienne and Jaime as various tumblr quotes cause I love them

#ignore how Jaime does not look blonde in any way whatsoever in that one pic #I’m so normal over them you have no idea #game of thrones #funny game of thrones memes #game of thrones memes #funny game of thrones meme #game of thrones meme #hehe #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #Game of Thrones Brienne #Game of Thrones Jaime #Brienne and Jaime #Game of Thrones Incorrect Quotes #Incorrect Quotes #funny Incorrect Quotes #funny Game of Thrones Incorrect Quotes

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pick-a-funny-name · 8 months

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Leo: *comes out the shower*

Piper: *In his cabin* Okay Mr mechanic we have a problem.

Leo: What do I need to fix now?

Piper: The soda machine that- Wait. You look weird.

Leo: What do you mean? I just came out the shower.

Piper: Ohhhh That's why! You don't have any grease on your face.

Leo: Wow nice observation

Piper: *Shows him a mirror*

Leo: Wow I look different

Leo: *Stumbles and falls on the floor*

*Gets covered with grease again*

Piper: Great. Just Great

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drreidsphds · 2 years

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Derek: Why am I not a banana?

Reid: Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, I think it would be pleasing for you to know that humans share 50-60% of their DNA with bananas.

Derek: Really?

Reid: Yes, really.

Derek: That's cool.

Emily: Are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than most? Not fair.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds bau #dr spencer reid #cm #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #moreid #spemily #incorrect quotes #funny incorrect quotes #incorrect funny quotes #incorrect criminal minds quotes #criminal minds incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes criminal minds #funny incorrect criminal minds quotes

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deltaruinedcoco37 · 5 months

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Oh look more incorrect quotes

SMG3: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Bob.

Bob: Hey, fuck you.

~~~

Meggy: Do you have any skeletons in your closet, SMG3?

SMG3: Literally or figuratively?

Meggy: ...I have to specify?

~~~

SMG4, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

SMG3, confused: I mean, this is my cafe, so yeah.

~~~

Luigu: Why is Melony crying?

Tari: She saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Melony: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Luigi: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Melony: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Luigi: NO, NOT THAT!

~~~

SMG3: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time...

SMG3: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

~~~

Mario: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?

Tari: Ooh, yes please!

SMG4, with his laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!

Mario: It's not a bug though...

Meggy: ...

Tari: ...

Saiko: ...

SMG4: Well I still don't want to see.

Meggy, realizing: Please don't throw-

Mario: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*

~~~

Mario: Why are your tongues purple?

SMG4: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

SMG3: I had a red one.

Mario: oh.

Mario:

Mario: OH.

Tar:

Tari: You drank eachother's slushies?

~~~

SMG3: Where are my fucking keys?

Boopkins: SMG3, Jubjub is around, can you say it a little nicer?

SMG3: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

~~~

SMG4: Are we fighting or flirting?

SMG3: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

SMG4: Your point?

~~~

#smg4 #smg34 #smg3 #funny incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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yourlocalquestionmark · 23 days

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Leo: do you get money if you get hit by a car?

Piper: why-

Reyna: only if there’s a witness

Annabeth: how do you-

Percy: the witness was the two year old licking the window.

Calypso: WHAT THE FU-

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cilliansgirl · 2 years

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Y/N: Obi-Wan and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Obi-Wan: Sentences.

Y/N: Don't interrupt me, darling.

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shyjusticewarrior · 1 day

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Dana: You have a dinner date with Rose for seven. What time do you arrive?

Jason: Seven. A.M.

Jason: Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff.

Jason: Can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill him. Replace him with my own guy no later than four thirty.

Dana: ... You're ready.

Jason: Really?

Dana: *laughs* No. Everything you just said was insane.

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jeena-says-hi · 10 months

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Ambrosius: Nimona? What are you writing?

Nimona: A fanfic.

Ambrosius…..

Ambrosius: About what?

Nimona: You and Ballister

Ambrosius: W-what? W-why?

Nimona: Ballister asked me to. I'm being paid.

Ballister *from behind the sofa* I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT ANONYMOUS IDIOT!

#she drew pics too #sofa is British for couch #hehe #funny #meme #funny meme #incorrect quotes #nimona #funny Incorrect Quotes #funny nimona Incorrect Quotes #ballister x ambrosius #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #over 1k

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dudesrysly · 12 days

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Buck: hey do you know where the matterdaddy is?

Eddie: …what?

Buck: the matterdaddy.

Eddie: what’s the matterdaddy?!?!

Buck: I don’t know baby, you tell me.

*running away while laughing hysterically*

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iamreallysherlocked · 1 year

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Sherlock: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

John: That's great, Sherlock. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

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get-cersie-an-elephant · 3 months

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Police: you're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle

Brienne: wait.. what do you mean three?

Police: yes... three

Jaime: what?! *turns around and checks* oh fuck!

Arya: uh oh

Police:???

Brienne: PODRICK FELL OFF!

#poor pod #funny game of thrones memes #game of thrones #game of thrones memes #funny game of thrones meme #game of thrones meme #hehe #Game of Thrones Incorrect Quotes #Incorrect Quotes #funny Incorrect Quotes #funny Game of Thrones Incorrect Quotes #Game of Thrones Brienne #Game of Thrones Jaime #Game of Thrones Arya #Game of Thrones podrick #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #arya stark #podrick payne

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only-murders-incorrect-quotes · 6 months

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Charles: You never know when you are gonna find your dream person.

Anyone on the street could be 'they'!

Mabel: It feels like you googled 'How to talk to your bisexual friends'.

#source: brooklyn nine nine #only murders in the building #only murders in the building incorrect quotes #omitb #charles haden savage #mabel mora #bisexuality #incorrect quotes #funny incorrect quotes

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