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beekeeping-up-with-the-joneses · 1 year

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A strip club featuring exclusively cat-girls

The Glitter Box

#bad puns #dirty jokes #one liner jokes #funny one liners #comedy #funny #humor #lol

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lifelighttheauthor · 2 years

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Painfully Funny One Liners That Are Brilliantly Clever

The ole humorous one liners… the only liner is that classical comedic comic story this is brought in a single line.

Many comedians use funny one liners as apart in their act, and believe it or not it’s now not that clean to master. So if you’re ready for an amazing laugh check out these one liners hand-picked through us!

Funny One Liners

1. Life is lots like lavatory paper. You’re either on a roll or you’re taking sh*t from some as*hollow.

2. Ain’t it humorous how the colours red, white, and blue represent freedom till they're flashing at the back of your automobile.

3. I’ll change my fb username to no one in order that manner when human beings publish crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say no person likes this.

4. You realize you’re unpleasant when it comes to a group photo and they hand you the digital camera.

5. Whoever stated generation could replace all paper obviously hasn’t tried wiping their however with an ipad.

6. You’re now not fat, you’re just… easier to look.

7. A current have a look at has discovered that girls who convey a touch more weight live longer than the guys who mention it.

8. In the future while in a financial institution, an antique female requested if i should assist her take a look at her balance… so i pushed her over.

9. I’m the form of man who stops the microwave at 1 second just to sense like a bomb defuser.

10. My lady friend advised me to go out and get something that makes her look hot.. So i got inebriated.

11. A blind guy walks into a bar… and a chair… and a table.

12. Maybe if all of us emailed the charter to each different, the nsa will ultimately study it.

13. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their very own questions? I do.

14. You haven’t skilled awkward till you try to tickle a person who isn’t ticklish.

15. After monday and tuesday even the calendar says w t f.

#Funny One Liners

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m1ng-how · 2 years

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Best Man Speech - One Liners

The maximum fun part of the marriage is the high-quality guy speech because of the exceptional man speech one-liners. It can be a quote from a well-known individual or a funny story about the groom. One issue that is for positive about the speech of the best man is that it’s far very humorous and unforgettable.

Examples

the net is full of best man speech one liners that you can use in weddings, if you can’t think of some thing funny to mention. A number of those high-quality guy speech one liners are as follows.

“I’ve always recognised (groom’s call) to have proper taste in girls and (bride’s name) simply proves my point!”

“i’ve terrible information for you pal, your satisfied days are over!”

(pleasant man fakes crying) “i’m going to miss you guy!”

these are simply some of the great man speech one liners to be able to make the target market laugh their heart out. You may use these or make your own with the aid of using non-public studies which you have had with the groom himself. You may display statistics approximately the groom that nobody knows. One important feature of exceptional guy speech one liners is being humorous. You have to make the target market laugh and experience themselves while taking note of you. If you can do this, it way which you have written the satisfactory speech for the occasion.

Different reminders

you can in no way avoid being nervous at some stage in speeches particularly if you are not used to speaking in public. To reduce your anxiety, you can exercise your speech earlier than hand. This way, you’ll realize what to mention even if you do now not examine your cheat sheet. Sure, you could deliver a cheat sheet.

In case you experience extra assured with a piece of paper for your hand, then you definitely need to take it with you. Another aspect which you must remember isn’t always to make the groom look awful in front of all the human beings within the reception, mainly in front of the bride. This is his day in addition to hers, so that you have to make certain that your speech sounds joyous and satisfied for each of them.

#Funny One Liners

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daydreamerwonderkid · 4 months

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More Damian being hilarious moments because his sense of humor speaks to me, pt. 2

pt. 1

#damian wayne #damian al ghul #robin #robin v #ok yes i found dc vs vampires damian very funny #supersons is also a treasure trove #of funny damian moments and one liners #tumblr's limit may be 10 images #but that won't stop me from keep making as many posts as i possibly can #dc comics

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apaethy · 2 years

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#no context iwtv

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | S01E02

#interview with the vampire #iwtvedit #iwtv amc #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #daniel malloy #tvgifs #tvedit #iwtv spoilers #usertelevision #my gifs #post priesticide TOOK ME OUT #if ep 1 was gothic romance this ep was a dark comedy #honestly the scenes between daniel and louis are honestly very funny #and not just daniel's one liners #louis also has jokes!

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isolophilian · 4 months

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Leah is putting EVERYTHING into her Annabeth and i love her for it. her little expressions, her demeanor, even her stance. she's playing 4D chess and she's already predicted the outcome. she's lived a 100 years in a 12 year old body. her effortless banter with Percy, her single raised eyebrow. her taking the lead, her vocal intonation implying her knowledge. "game on." "im sorry to hear it." "so we're gonna need a new plan." she was made for this role

#ALSO THE SCENE IN THE GAS STATION (?) WHERE SHE'S BUYING A BUNCH OF CANDY WAS SO FUNNY AND FOR WHAT #HER ONE LINERS ARE SO WELL DELIVERED #HER EXPRESSION WHEN GROVER FLEW AWAY KILLS ME #annabeth chase #leah sava jeffries #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo tv spoilers #isoceratops

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queenofshilla · 3 months

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DUMB AND DUMBER (1994) quotes

#Dumb and Dumber #Jim Carrey #Jeff Daniels #giffedbyme #junkfooddaily #cinemapix #dailyflicks #filmedit #filmgifs #This is so funny to me :))#I think I might start a series with this movie?#There are so many funny one-liners

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rosezhid · 2 years

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Funny One-Liners and Jokey Zingers to Keep Kids on Their Toes

After pratfalls, funny one-liners may be the most ancient of jokes. It's miles vast humor distilled down to its purest shape. Rodney dangerfield nailed it. Mitch hedberg and steven wright, too. Funny one-liners take a sophisticated statement approximately life or language and reframe it as a slyly “dumb” joke whose complete comedian electricity hits only after your brain unpacks it. They’re additionally a notable manner to get a snicker out of youngsters. Whilst some quick jokes cheat their manner to fun by using using terrible words or innuendo, the ones one-liners truely aren’t suitable for younger children.

The main project of locating a top notch dad funny story is choosing funny jokes which can be ridiculous, harmless, and appropriate for every age. Consider it as seinfeld as opposed to chapelle: both are humorous, however simplest one comedian can play within the history even as your 10-yr-antique remains awake.

With that in mind, here are seventy six first-rate corny one-liners for children that get to the punchline as fast as viable. If one doesn’t land, simply move on to the subsequent one due to the fact that’s the beauty of the one-liner, accurate or awful: it’s over earlier than you realize it.

1. Don’t you hate it when a person answers their very own query? I do.

2. A sandwich tried to get a reservation at a restaurant, however the waiter said they don’t serve meals there.

3. There are 3 kinds of humans: folks who can count number and those who can’t.

4. Don’t spell part backward. It’s a entice.

5. Don’t agree with the hype. Velcro is the closing scam.

6. Do you understand how scientists freshen their breath? With experi-mints!

7. I latterly noticed a signal that said: “watch for animals.” what a extremely good deal!

8. I’m throwing a space-themed birthday celebration for my birthday, but i don’t want to planet.

9. The perfectionist walked into the bar because it wasn’t set high enough.

10. I dislike russian dolls. They’re so complete of themselves.

11. If at first you don’t succeed with a crowbar, pry, pry once more.

12. I tried to do my homework however my pencil broke, so it was unnecessary. 13. I had a dream i was ingesting a large marshmallow and once i awoke my pillow became long past.

14. Whoever invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.

15. If a child refuses to sleep at some point of nap time, are they guilty of resisting a relaxation?

16. What did one wall say to the opposite wall? I’ll meet you at the nook!

17. What do you call cheese that’s now not yours? Nacho cheese!

18. In case you want help constructing an ark, i noah man.

19. Could a cardboard belt be a waist of paper?

20. I desired to be a medical doctor, but i didn’t have the sufferers.

#Funny One Liners

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rawbutsometimesfunny · 2 years

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Best Man One Liners - The Missing Guide

First-rate man one-liners can be used to inject a sense of humor into your best mans speech. Historically at a wedding reception, a number of speeches are made and the exceptional man’s speech is the most eagerly expected of those. The daddy of the bride and groom’s speeches are typically formal and honest in their transport.

The nice mans speech follows those and is typically the very last speech to be made. The toast made on the quit of the best man’s speech marks the start of the celebrations and what higher manner is there to heat people up than with a piece of light-hearted humor? There’s a difference between the use of satisfactory man one liners and telling jokes in a marriage speech.

Long-winded, meandering jokes with an increase-growth punch-line are commonly now not properly acquired and using high-quality guy one liners is usually a far more secure option. A fine mans speech is considered one of gratitude, appreciation, emotion and basic male ‘mushiness’.

To stability this out it’s miles anticipated that the exceptional guy speech may also be peppered with a number of brief humorous punch lines that poke fun on the groom, inside moderation. The use of best guy one liners is all about being yourself and locating what works for you and your character. Allow’s be honest, anyone likes a chunk of a snort and there is nothing higher when performing your fine man speech than seeing the marriage guests smiling.

You simply need to be prepared enough to do it. An excellent high-quality guy one liner is an attention grabber. This will be a funny jibe or short story at the expense of the groom or it could be a humorous quote regarding the institution of marriage.

The quantity of humour used inside your speech need to be in stability to the amount of sincerity. The groom could be expecting you to make references to him but this is not an opportunity to publicly break his character and popularity.

Let’s accept it; a few humans simply have a knack for telling jokes, but recall this doesn’t name so that you can be a semi-expert comedian. A few well positioned references your speech is all this is needed. Here are 3 conventional pleasant guy one liners that you may keep in mind the use of:

>the groom has instructed me in confidence that he desires to be a version man, a model husband and a version lover. Well i have checked and the dictionary definition for the phrase model is… “a small, miniature reproduction of the actual factor”

.>Here are some words of information. First, set the ground rules and establish who is the boss. 2nd. Do the entirety she says >always do not forget to inform your wife the ones three critical little phrases… “you’re proper expensive”

#funny One Liners

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klawsofwakanda · 2 years

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Best Man Wedding Speech One Liners

Pleasant guy wedding ceremony speeches are acknowledged and awaited for their witty and humorous one-liners and if you are going to be the satisfactory man, you’ll higher add a pair of these for your speech. The strain of the wedding will soften away and every person gift will loosen up and enjoy and get into the party mood.

Here are a few attempted and tested one-liners positive to feature a spark of mischief for your pleasant guy wedding ceremony speech:

1. Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Some say monogamy is the identical.

2. Marriage is a four ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffer-ring and endue-ring.

3. Do the punishment for bigamy? Moms-in-regulation!

4. The best way to take into account your spouse’s birthday is to neglect it once.

5. It’s no longer genuine that married guys live longer than unmarried men. It most effective seems longer.

6. Marriages are made in heaven. However, once more, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail.

7. If the groom has pierced ears - men who’ve pierced ears are higher prepared for marriage. They have experienced ache and purchased jewelry.

8. The only manner to remember your spouse’s birthday is to forget once.

9. Marriage is not a phrase. It’s miles a sentence (a existence sentence!).

10. Marriage is an organization in which a person loses his bachelor’s diploma and the lady receives her masters.

12. It doesn’t remember how frequently a married man modifications his job, he nevertheless finally ends up with the equal boss.

12. I married omit right. I just didn’t realize her first name was continually.

#Funny One Liners

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laz-kay · 4 months

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"Is everyone else's bed the size of our kitchen?" "What? No. These beds are small. Did you say yours is big?" "Uhh no! Goodnight!"

Bob's Burgers, The Nightmare 2 Days Before Christmas (S14: E10)

#tina's one liners in this episode got me good #she's so unintentionally funny #also the kid's nicknames are so freaking cute i love this family sm #it's no plight before christmas #but this was heartwarming af i loved it #the nightmare 2 days before christmas #bobs burgers #bobs burgers spoilers #bobs burgers gif #bobs burgers season 14 #linda belcher #bob belcher #tina belcher #gene belcher #louise belcher

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beekeeping-up-with-the-joneses · 1 year

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I cut a hole in my feather pillow to have sex with it. It’s down to fuck

#dirty jokes #bad puns #one liner jokes #funny one liners #lol #funny #comedy #humor

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useragarfield · 1 month

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#one tree hill 4.15 is a comedy actually

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all-i-do-is-live-in-daydreams · 2 months

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Three of my favorite moments of Infinite Darkness

of course leon would call a bazooka sexy

"Sooo..." Leon, if I was her I would have dropped that "young man" for you so fast.

And this scene where a swarm of mutated infected rats are charging Leon and the first thing he does before defending himself or even running is just stopping and saying, "Wish I had some cheese."