#funny quotes
“Jesus Christ, it's like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”
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day 1 of snippets of stuff ive said in chats :
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Baby Stalker Tim be like
Tim: My talent's include becoming emotionally invested in vigilantes and celebrity lives, being socially awkward and getting philosophical before bed or near death experiences.
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Lélek
Tudom. Mindenki szereti magát erősnek, s megbánthatatlannak tenni, viszont ez nyilván valóan nem így van. Azért mutasd magad mindig erősnek, mert ha gyengének mutatod magad, a nálad gyengébbek támadni fognak.
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The most savage thing I’ve ever seen happened last year in my Spanish class. We had to take turns writing something in Spanish on the board and this one guy was kinda reluctant to go. Finally, he sighed, got up, and wrote on the board “I prefer men” and then sat back down. The whole class erupted into applause and everyone started freaking out.
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Ymir: you made an entire fan account dedicated to my freckles ?
Historia, hiding her phone and sweating profusely: What, no, of course not! What makes you think that?
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Wife quote #32:
Wife: “I mean, he is huge, but I guarantee you; he is still fitter than me!”
Because apparently @beths-space is “made out of pastry”.
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Y/n: “I want to wake up with you for the rest of my life”
Levi: “I get up at 5:00am”
Y/n: “nevermind-“
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Levi: “your pretty stupid huh?”
Y/n: “thank you”
Levi: “why are you thanking me? I just insulted you?”
Y/n: “all I heard was, your pretty. I’m focusing on the positives in life”
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Y/n: “treat spiders the way you want to be treated”
Levi: “killed without hesitation.”
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Y/n: “I made tea”
Levi: “I don’t want tea right now”
Y/n: “I didn’t make it for you, this is my tea.”
Levi: “then why did you announce that you made tea?”
Y/n: “it’s a conversation starter”
Levi: “well then, it’s a horrible conversation starter”
Y/n: “oh really? What are we doing right now? Huh? We’re conversating”
Levi, wordlessly. glaring at y/n:
Y/n: “checkmate”
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Y/n: “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m still alive so I must doing really well”
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Y/n: “there is no i in team, but there is an i in pizza”
Sasha: “so your not going to share?”
Y/n: “I’m not going to share, no.”
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Mumbo: I have no fears
Iskall: What if one day you woke up and Grian was taller than you?
Mumbo: I have one fear
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“You’re not sick. You’re American, fight back and get what you want. Plus you’re a woman so you always get what you want.”
my friend’s brother
His political views may need a little work.
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10-10 samosa challenge full masti ful Mazaa,crazy experiment, food challenge, fun and masti
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short
Tim/Masky: Hey! Ben! Pay attention!
Ben: No can do, my attention span is shorter than I am.
Tim/Masky: Yet you play games for hours without taking a break.
Ben: Sorry but I didn’t hear that. I wasn’t paying attention.
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You know something is seriously wrong with you when you start researching about executioners.
A certain someone who is researching about executioners
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'So we're both working very hard in damp places and just cancelling each other out?'
Aziraphale to Crowley, Good Omens. 2019
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Hels: We have ways to make you talk
Ex, sharpening a knife: *cuts cake*
Scar: Can I please have some cake
Ex: Cake is for talkers
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