I searched up Kaz on GIFs but this came up instead....I'm crying.
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Kaz: so get this
Kaz: You make 5 meals, you're not a cook
Kaz: You make 5 paintings, you're not an artist
Kaz: BUT YOU MURDER ONE PERSO-
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Matthias: *has one Unholy™️ thought about nina*
Matthias to himself: TAKE A WALK YOU ABSOLUTE WHORE. AND WHILE YOUR AT IT YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUMP IN A RIVER YOU SLUT.
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Kaz: *is without his crow cane*
Citizens of Ketterdam: A bastard?
Kaz: *gets his crow cane*
Citizens of Ketterdam: Bastard of the Barrel!!!
(idea creds: @swiftie-as-a-coursing-river)
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jesper running in to hug inej while her and kaz are having a staring/yearning contest in ep 8 is revenge for kaz knocking in ep 4 <3
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Crooked Kingdom, a summary
Kaz: money. Inej. Money. Inej. Murder Pekka Rollins. No wait murder Van Eck he hurt Inej. Also money. Yes. Inej and money.
Inej: I actually have a purpose and a reason to live for!! Wow, I’d missed that feeling. Also I deserve much better than Kaz but… well…
Jesper: I was happy until you pointed out the void inside me. Why did you do that? Now I’m sad. Wait Wylan is here? Nvm I happy again
Wylan: what am I doing here? Every day I’m more shocked by how evil people can be. Do you guys want me to explode anything? Set Kuwei on fire? No? Oh come on! Oh hi Jesper :)
Matthias: that was an unholy thought. For the 100th time today. Why is Nina so hot I wish I could just f- oops 101st unholy thought for today
Nina: parem parem NO NOT PAREM okay Inej needs my help okay WAIT DID I JUST RAISE ZOMBIES what’s going on MATTHIAS NO
+Bonus Kuwei: pretending not to speak Kerch was my best decision cause I’ve overheard so much shit while they think I can’t understand them
Six Of Crows version
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Wylan: That's ridiculous, Jesper doesn't have a crush on me.
Inej: Yes he does.
Kaz: Yes he does.
Jesper: Yes I do.
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I feel like we never acknowledge the sheer comedy of the fact that when Wylan and Jesper help Inej take down merchers involved in the slave trade they're literally ratting out their shitty coworkers.
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“You love her, don’t you? Of course you do, no-one that fine should have ever looked twice at Barrel scum like you but she’s different. She finds you charming. Sure sign of madness if you ask me, but love is strange that way.”
How do people say Kaz isn't funny when this is him in the first chapter he was in. Literally roasted Geels. Roasted, seasoned and ate because that is so hilariously out of pocket.
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Aka corruption arc, but we don't mind :)
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Read six of crows! We have:
Kaz "I have a question about your mother and whether the rumors are true" Brekker
Inej "I like it when men beg, but this is not the time" Ghafa
Jesper Llewellyn "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?" Fahey
Nina "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice" Zenik
Matthias Benedik "My ghost won't associate with your ghost" Helvar
Wylan "How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?" Van Eck
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