#futile devices

[saintsebastiensbf]

Jane Austen, Emma

Sufjan Stevens, Futile Devices

Virginia Woolf, The Letters of Virginia Woolf

Hozier, Shrike

Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

Sierra DeMulder, Your Love Finds Its Way Back

Nizar Qabbani

“What I feel for you can’t be conveyed in phrasal combinations; It either screams out loud or stays painfully silent but I promise — it beats words. It beats worlds.”

Katherine Mansfield

#quotes #webweave #jane austen #emma #sense and sensibility #sufjan stevens #futile devices #virginia woolf #the letters of virginia woolf #hozier #shrike #sierra demulder #your love finds its way back #nizar qabbani #katherine mansfield #if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more

[saint-strawberry]

Iistening to sufjan stevens will have you saying shit like i wish i was sleeping on somebody else's couch right now

#sufjan stevens #futile devices

[saeransangel]

Futile Devices

Summary: Ellie returns to Jackson after Santa Barbara and tries to find you.

A/N: I thought of this when I heard the first/last line of the song so I had to write this out. Feedback would be appreciated!! Please comment or leave it in the ask box. Making this into a series

CW: Angst + hurt/comfort, swearing, mentions of death

WC: 1.8k NOT PROOF READ

And words are futile devices

Hot tears streamed down your face as your eyes burned holes into the back of the auburn girls head. She turned around to face you, nearly feeling your desolate stare.

Ellie didn't know what to say. She knew you were going to be broken over her leaving, but there was something sinister inside that was gnawing away at her day by day. Abby was still out there and that was not something that was going to let get away from her again. Not after everything. Not after Joel. Not after Jesse. She had to finish it.

"So that's it then?" You finally spit out. "You're just leaving me here alone?" You tried to hold in your sobs.

You had accompanied her to Seattle. You had been there for her through her entire journey. The two of you had finally started to settle down and heal from all the pain and hurt the world had brought into your lives.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." was all Ellie could muster, her gaze fixated on the floorboards. She couldn't bare to look at you, knowing that all this pain you felt was caused by her. "I have to finish it."

You let out a frustrated cry. "She doesn't get to be more important than the life we've made for ourselves."

Her stare was blank. She had heard what you said and processed it, but she knew there was nothing much she could say to make this even remotely better.

"Are you going to say anything?" You yelled.

She flinched at your tone. You had never yelled at her. Not once. It surprised her, but she knew it was deserved. After a moment she finally spoke. "I wish we were two different people. Two people who didn't need to say goodbye."

"Oh, Ellie." You tone softened from the much harsher one you had spat out earlier. You walked close enough to cup her face in your hands. "We don't have to say goodbye." Her fingers reached up to grab your hands.

"Y/N..." She sighed, tears brimming in her own eyes now. She brought your hands down from her face, still holding them in her own. She kissed your cheek softly. So softly you barely could feel her lips ghosting over your skin.

Then she was gone.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

That was the last time you saw Ellie Williams. Three months had passed and you hadn't seen her or heard a word about her. Last you heard she was in Santa Barbara.

Things were going okay. They were fine. You were soldiering on everyday. But then sometimes you would be out on patrol and see a stupid superhero collection card. Or you would think that out of the corner of your eye you would see her walking through the gates of Jackson. When things like this happened you tried your best to keep it together, but it was hard to not slip back into your bad habits like when she first left.

When she left that day you were a wreck for a month straight. There was no consoling you. All you could do was cry and worry. Dina tried her very best to comfort you but it seemed that despite her best efforts, you were still unraveled.

"Dina, I just don't understand why this had to happen. I miss her so much, I'm so worried." You sobbed, trying to catch your breath.

"I know Y/N." Dina whispered, rubbing circled on your back. That was all she could say at the time.

Now on month three without Ellie, you had begun to build up resentment. Towards yourself and towards her. You were resentful to her because she left you. On top of grieving for Jesse, who had been your best friend for years, you also had to grieve the loss of Ellie. You didn't know if she was dead or alive and at this point you could only assume the worst. But at the same time you resented yourself for even feeling this way. It felt evil and wrong. You loved this girl with all your heart and soul. It pained you the be harboring such ill will towards someone you cared so deeply for.

You shook yourself from your debilitating thoughts and sought out to find Dina, who you were out patrolling with. You found her waiting were you had tied up the horses.

"Hey, you doing alright?" She asked as you approached in silence.

"I..." miss her "I'm fine."

"Y/N, are you sure?" She asks again. She always tried to push you to open up even when you didn't want her to. But it was nice knowing she was there. You didn't want her to keep worrying about you but you also knew that if you didn't open up it would make her anxious.

"Yeah I just saw a fucking stupid trading card." You replied with a spiteful tone. Dina was quiet for a moment. Sometimes you forget she's mourning her friends too. "I'm sorry D." You said.

"Let's go home. We've got as much as we needed for today." She smiled.

Dina is an amazing friend to you. She could easily move past moments like these which helped you move past them too. You were forever grateful to her for her strength. It's been your lifeline.

The two of you rode back in comfortable silence, occasionally making small talk. The view was always so beautiful through the woods. You caught yourself smiling, enjoying the fresh air and the trees around you.

"That's what I like to see!" Dina exclaimed. It startled you out of your serenity. "Finally a genuine smile."

You laughed. You actually laughed at one of her jokes for the first time in a long time. "Yeah yeah." you sighed. "How about I race ya back?"

Without giving her a chance to respond you kick the sides you your horse and it takes off into a steady gallop.

"No fairrrr." You hear her yell from behind you. Her horse whines as it take off, advancing on you.

The guards see you two approaching and open the gate, your horses barreling in. You won but barely. You were sure that if you didn't cheat you would have lost. None the less you had a shit eating grin on your face.

The two of you continued to race the horses into the barn. Out of the corner of your eye you see a familiar silhouette with auburn hair. You shake it off, knowing that it was just a figment of your longing mind. In this moment, you finally felt free of the past and all the grief that came with it. You weren't going to let your mind ruin this for you. Maybe this is what healing felt like.

The two of you dismount your horses and brought them into the stable, getting them situated in their pens. Dina was complaining about how you cheated and barely won, you were just reveling in your small victory.

"Alright, alright." You giggled. "You're right, I'm a total mother fucker who cheated." You repeated the name she had called you seconds before.

"Thank you." She laughed and gave your shoulder a light shove. You fake flinched. "All right I'll see you later for dinner." She said as she turned on her heel walking back to her place.

You sighed happily and turned around, heading towards to field that your small house was on. You loved your little field. Wild lavender grew in small bushes and a variety of wildflowers bloomed in the spring and summer time. They were just starting to bloom for the year. As you were walking further onto the path leading up to your home, your eyes adjusted to something further ahead. You heart sank to your stomach. Your throat dried up, eyes welling with tears. No this can't be real. You thought to yourself. Your vision was blurry with tears and your breath was caught in your throat.

You turned around quickly, not wanting to dare look at the figure any longer. You nearly ran the opposite directing until you heard a voice ring out.

"Y/N,"

It's been a long, long time since I've memorized your face

Your heart was beating out of your chest, stopping dead in your tracks. You finally get the courage to turn around and when you do you see her.

"Ellie," You whisper. Your feet are moving faster than your mind, one foot desperately flying in front of the other. All resentment or anger you had felt leaving you in that moment. "Ellie!" You yelled. You were running faster than you ever had in your life. As you got closer you saw her hair was slightly disheveled. It was a bit longer than the last time you saw her. Her face still spotted with light freckles.

Your body collided with hers, arms wrapping around each other tightly. With the force of you running, you managed to send the two of you flying back, landing on the ground with an oof. Ellie sat the two of you up to where you could finally get a good look at each other. Tears were streaming down your face and hers. You couldn't get any words out. You were still in shock mentally that she was here, but your heart was hopelessly devoted to her which is how you ended up back in her arms.

Your body was trembling as you positioned yourself on your knees, hands reaching up to grab her face. "How?" Was all you could say. Your mind was racing with a million questions. What happened in Santa Barbara? Why is she back? How is she back? Is she safe? You felt her hands reach up to grasp yours, noticing her left hand now only had three digits. What happened to her fingers? She saw you noticing and got flustered. She tried to pull her hand away but you caught it, bringing it to your lips for a gentle kiss. Your eyes locked with hers.

Ellie began noticing your features. She had never forgotten what you looked like. The image of you in her head is what kept her going and fighting for all those days in exile. But somehow you looked different. You looked thinner, your once bright eyes looked drained and the bags under your eyes were dark. Her heart was breaking looking at her perfect, patient girl. The girl who ripped herself apart to follow her from Jackson to Seattle. The girl who begged her to stay when she left for Santa Barbara.

As she continued to hold you in her gaze, a strangled sob escaped from her lips. "I'm so sorry, Y/N." She cried out. "I'm so sorry." She soon felt your warm and tight embrace wrap around her trembling frame.

"Els, oh my God, you're here. You're here. I can't believe this. I-" You stopped to catch your breath. "I missed you so fucking much." You tried not to cry as you said the last part.

"I missed you too. So much." She cried.

You grabbed her arm and pulled her up, both of you standing now. You swiftly interlocked you hands.

"Let's go home."

TAGS: @percsane

#futile devices #ellie williams angst #ellie the last of us #the last of us #tlou #request #request open #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams

[borntoselfdestruct]

kendall & stewy // futile devices

and i would say i love you but saying out loud is hard so i won’t say it at all

#kendall x stewy #kendall roy #stewy hosseini #kenstewy #futile devices #sufjan stevens #my edits #succession #i spent almost a week doing this #i blame jeremy and arian #and their chemistry #also i know there was another video with this song #its gone now but i wish i couldve seen it #anyway i hope these two don't backstab eachother in the final episodes #fingers crossed #this is the second video i finish in a month #proud of myself #my stuff

[xbellaxcarolinax]

HELLO HI I CAME TO YOUR INBOX TO SCREAM ABOUT FUTILE DEVICES 🗣️🗣️

holy ovulation week, batman!! that fic was soooo good!!!! I DEVOURED it like miguel was devouring reader’s pussy 🐱🤭

“keep me in there.” PLS I HAD TO STOP AND TAKE A BEEAK FROM READING

as much as i love crazy carnal sexed up miguel fics, i also love the soft, romantic ones and you managed to do both seamlessly!!

also loved the reader being a boss HR lady go queen go girlboss go! plus Peter B being the intermediary between miguel and reader? LOVE! and the brief appearance by miles, gwen, and hobie was such a fun interlude!

Love this story down and trust I WILL be using it as my nighttime scenario for the foreseeable future, ty for your service 🫡

OMFG HELLO HI ILY THANK YOU THIS WAS SO SWEET TO WAKE UP TO!!! <333

I, too, love the carnal Miguel fics but I just crave some sweetness with our boi, you know???? I'm glad I could deliver on both I worked hard on this bitch 🫡🫡🫡 and it was fun to include some of the characters! That was hard but I'm glad it came out well in the end!!

Thank you so much for reading and for the support!!! It means the WORLD to me 🥹🥹🥹

#ask response #futile devices #miguel o'hara

[secret-fairygarden]

#futile devices #sufjan stevens

[knightofleo]

Sufjan Stevens | Futile Devices

It's been a long, long time since I've memorized your face It's been four hours now since I've wandered through your place And when I sleep on your couch I feel very safe And when you bring the blankets I cover up my face I do love you And when you play guitar I listen to the strings buzz The metal vibrates underneath your fingers And when you crochet I feel mesmerized and proud And I would say I love you, but saying it out loud It's hard so I won't say it at all, and I won't stay very long But you are the life I needed all along I think of you as my brother, although that sounds dumb And words are futile devices

#good night #sufjan stevens #the age of adz #futile devices

[timeframe2286]

i love how all sufjan stevens songs from the call me by your name soundtrack simultaneously sound like you're walking in a town in europe in the morning and the air smells so fresh and you're supposed to be happy but you're not (unreal, timeless) and like you've found your true love and there's a possibility it's not real because you're that happy (heartache)

#call me by your name #sufjan stevens #mystery of love #visions of gideon #futile devices

[sleepless-birds]

covered this beautiful sufjan's song one quiet winter afternoon <3 i love being in my room and singing and playing the guitar and dreaming <3

#<3 #diary #sufjan stevens #covers #futile devices #bedroom cover #love #music #SoundCloud

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

lyric of the day ˚♫⋆｡˚ ⋆

"and when i sleep on your couch i feel very safe and when you bring the blankets i cover up my face i do love you"

futile devices sufjan stevens

#lyric of the day #futile devices #sufjan stevens #lyrics #song lyrics #music

[knvsugi]

i had loved you for the last time

is it a video?

#love me to death #sufjan stevens #visions of gideon #call me by your name #futile devices #javelin #gay #me #honeymoon lana del rey #terrence loves you #adrogynous #nonbinary #timothée chalamet

[moonlithush-and-stardust]

I wish they too had a happy ending like Nick and Charlie!!!!

Mystery of love<3

#fanart #call me by your name #elio and oliver #timothee chamalet #armie hammer #heartstopper #nick nelson #charlie spring #nick and charlie #osemanverse #mystery of love #visions of gideon #futile devices #sufjan stevens #charmie #chinsie art

[otrtbs]

Futile devices WIP??

That's my favourite Sufjan Stevens song!!! I am very curious

Futile Devices

This is my happy little marauders summer fic where they go on a bunch of cute little adventures and find love and everyone is happy and there is like no angst haha. (ALSO TASTE FUTILE DEVICES IS MY FAV SUFJAN SONG)

Snippet

"This is my brother, Regulus. He's staying with me this summer," Sirius explained. "Reg, this is James, the one I always talk about. I buy peaches from him to make our cobblers and pies and stuff." Unconsciously, James stood up a little straighter, pushing his shoulders back. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, trying to make sure it looked okay as Regulus flashed him a small smirk.

Sirius, ever the observant, watched this silent interaction with keen interest before he narrowed his eyes. "Actually Regulus, why don't you wait in the car? James and I can finish up here." "That's okay," Regulus' smirk became wider as he looked James up and down shamelessly. "I think I'll stay right here."

#wip game #futile devices #my wips

[ansu-gurleht]

it's been a long, long time since i've memorized your face

#futile devices #sufjan stevens #age of adz

[zeldasayer]

WHO DID THIS????

#futile devices #I’m almost triggered #I mean inspired #but also hot #but also chills

[loverboy-inc]

Hey, I don’t even know how to begin this, but your f/os' list made me research the “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream”, so now I am… deeply disturbed, but at the same time awfully curious.

How does your relationship with AM works? What is your s/i doing on Earth, what is going on in terms of connection to the original story? How did AM and Juniper met, what is the dynamic, how exactly did AM fell in love with human? Like, what is the lore?

(I’m also curious about your selfship with Elias, especially because researching who he is has finally made me acknowledge “The Magnus Archives” as a highly fascinating concept and a story that is now added to my “to read” list (or would that be “to listen”?), but I guess that would be too many questions to answer for one ask.)

– villain-in-love

this has me shaking like a chihuahua from excitement thank you so much i LOVE being able to talk abt the dynamics of these relationships!!

the main universe where juniper and AM meet is for a fic of mine, where the apocalypse hasn't happened, and instead AM was left in a sort of computer power-saving mode, so to speak. he's been a dormant entity for all these years, believing that he took out his rage on humanity, and the events of the short story are real to it. juniper happens to have a very close friend named dallas who is working on a project to possibly revive AM as a sort of test run of putting a computer into an android body/human-like body, and that's how they meet, because dallas thinks that juniper would be capable of getting to know AM and figuring out how his mind works, essentially. AM reluctantly bonds with juniper, because it needs someone who can be patient with it, and juniper is more than capable of that. the concept is very self-indulgent and doesn't make an entirely huge amount of sense, but the two form a bit of a bond and understand one another after a while, and since he isn't… well, just wires in a "straitjacket of substrata rock" as he states in the game, he isn't as murderous. a lot of how AM is as a character is because humans made it as a weapon, and confined it to the earth, with no ability to create or understand why he exists as it does. AM, in a sense, reminds me a lot of the concept of angels in Judaism, as he is created by a being who is able to create, but it himself cannot, and is jealous of the things that it was made by, aka humanity. when this barrier is removed, and he's able to move around, create things (he helps juniper in their garden, which winds up a good outlet for him), find interests outside of it's original created purpose, and slowly build a connection with people, he has a lot less of that hatred flowing through it. because the very things that humanity did that made it hate, he now doesn't have, and is able to work through the emotions that come from that.

as for elias and francis, their dynamic is really fun because they basically want to dissect one another's brains. elias finds the fact that francis is hiding his true intent for being there very fascinating, especially because it's so… mundane, compared to the reasons many people come to the archives? and while elias could just reach into francis' mind and find everything out, he doesn't, because that would ruin the fun.

also, i'm really glad you got into both of these pieces of media! they're fun to analyze, and TMA can be extremely fulfilling to get into if you like eldritch horror concepts with little bits of comedy here and there. though, i never finished season 5, it got a bit too grimdark and bleak, but i fully plan to pick it up again and finish the series at some point!

#bishop.txt #selfship #francis #juniper #moonsickness #futile devices #selfship blog #selfshipper #mail.exe