#fyi i did not actually quit but if someone wants 2 pay me to quit that'd be cOOL

[tuanhood]

35,000 ft

pairing: mark tuan x reader

genre: smut, angst, some fluff?, exes to lovers

warnings: 18+, language, dirty talk, cheating, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, public sex (mile high club ALERT)

word count: 9,800+

summary: two years have passed since you last saw your ex-boyfriend. when you’ve thought about running into him again, it certainly wasn’t at 35,000 ft and it certainly wasn’t like this. 

a/n: wow my longest one shot yet... UMMM it’s a little messy and all over the place but don’t hesitate to let me know what you think or if anyone wants to cry over the photos of Mark at home playing in the pool sMH. also i do not CONDONE cheating fyI 

part 2: 125 ft

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“Yes, yes, yes I’ll call you when I land…” You mumbled through the phone, half paying attention and half trying to decide which sandwich would best suit your needs. 

“Okay but seriously… call me. I hate it when you’re over there enough so not getting a call freaks me out even more.” 

You wanted to roll your eyes and gag, but you stopped yourself knowing that it wasn’t what a typical girlfriend would do when on the phone with her boyfriend. You two were supposed to still be in the honeymoon phase, not the “he gives me the ick” phase already. 

Then again, you had never even been in the “he gives me the ick” phase before. Yay for new experiences you guessed. 

“Brian, it’s so fine. It’s one of the safest cities in the world, I’ve been so many times I don’t even need a map to tell me where I’m going.” 

“I hope you still do though… Use a map. I don’t want you to get lost and I know that’s easy to do in those modern, technologically advanced smart cities.”

Being with Brian sometimes felt like there wasn’t even a fourth wave of feminism. 

You weren’t sure why you were sticking around. Part of you felt pressured because you hadn’t had any actual relationships in… well awhile and your mom was constantly asking when you were finally going to get a ring on your finger and give her a grandchild. 

Judging by all the outside influences that were currently controlling your life, it felt like maybe there isn’t a fourth wave of feminism. You were setting everyone back just based on your own sad life. Maybe it was best to just dump Brian and go back to your hook up days, the year and a half before him that was just endless amounts of sex with random guys trying to fix a piece of you that would never be put back together. 

“Y/n? Are you still there?” 

“Yup, still here Brian.” 

Even after being together for almost 6 months you couldn’t bring it in you to call him something besides his name. It was always Brian this, Brian that. Calling him a pet name made you cringe. 

Yeah… Maybe it was definitely time to break up with him. 

“Listen… I should go. I want to get something to eat before they start boarding since it’s a long one and all.” 

But you’ll just do it later. 

“Okay… sounds good. Get a small sandwich or something so you’ll feel full enough before they actually feed you on the plane.” 

Suddenly you didn’t want a sandwich. 

“Got it… Bye.” 

“Love you, bye.” 

You hear a noise letting you know the call has been disconnected and drop your hand, gripping the device at your side. 

That was another thing. Brian had told you only 3 months of dating that he loved you – to which you had responded with “oh wow… that’s- that’s… so nice of you.” Being the nice guy, he was completely fine with you not saying it back, because he felt so sure that one day you would. He understood that you had issues with a past relationship that you weren’t quite ready to let go of yet, therefore your heart wasn’t completely available. He felt with time you would give in and love him too. 

As of now you weren’t too sure… Especially if you did end up breaking up with him. At a later date and time of course. Maybe when you came back? 

Your mind went blank as you looked at the shelves of the poorly made airport food in front of you. The sandwiches that had once looked good and enticing suddenly lost their luster and the last thing you wanted to do was waste money on one. Sighing, you glanced back down at the phone in your hand. The object felt more like a heavy weight and a burden rather than just a phone. It wasn’t due to work or family; it was just all because of Brian. 

You’re startled when your phone comes to life once again under your gaze, buzzing softly. 

Brian. Remember don’t forget to text me when you board! 

It was like he had a sixth sense for whenever you were thinking of him. And to be honest it wasn’t that often. 

A couple of weeks ago you were out to lunch with a few friends from college and when updating those who you hadn’t seen in a while on the goings-on of your life, you had at first redacted the fact that you had a boyfriend completely. 

“Anyone romantic in your life?” Your friend Alice had asked you. 

Without thinking you had begun telling her how he was in game design and was from LA just like you, but soon cut yourself off before you could talk about how cute his dog was. That’s when you realized you weren’t talking about Brian. Brian was in fucking accounting, not game design and was 100% allergic to any kind of animal. When your friend asked about your love life, you had him in mind and not Brian even though so much time had gone by.

You were starting to believe that you weren’t ready for a relationship at all.

Sighing, you figured that maybe chips would be a better and less smelly option for the plane ride. Knowing yourself you would probably dig into them within the first thirty minutes of the thirteen-hour trip. 

You whip around to find wherever your newly desired snack choice could be when you catch a glimpse of someone out of the corner of your eye. The goosebumps that make their way to the surface of your skin and the hair on the back of your neck standing up so eagerly causes your entire body to freeze with fear. There was only one person who made you feel this way, one person who made your blood run cold. The person you had just indirectly been thinking of.

No, no it couldn’t be. 

You’re afraid to turn around, because more than anything you don’t want to be right. If you felt stressed thinking about Brian, you were going to have a panic attack from seeing him. Pivoting yourself to the left, you bite your lip anxiously unsure of how you’re supposed to react if you are right. Taking in the sight behind you, you’re met with a father and daughter selecting candy from the shelves of the store. The individual causing your anxiety nowhere in sight. Your entire body relaxes. 

The last thing you wanted was a fiasco in the international terminal at LAX. It certainly wouldn’t do you, your family and your company any good to make headlines. It especially wouldn’t have made Brian happy; he probably would have called you a hundred times in worry. 

“I can’t fucking believe it.” 

And just like that you’re snapped out of your daze, your false security vanished, goosebumps emerging once again. This time there were no questions. That voice. It was him. 

Turning back around you find yourself under the gaze of your ex-boyfriend. Your ex-boyfriend who you haven’t seen in over two years. 

You wish you could say that time hadn’t been good to Mark, but that would be a bold-faced lie. He had somehow become even more attractive in the last two years and the only real thing that seemed different about him was his hair color. The last time you had seen him he had been blonde, but now he had opted for a dark brown color. As much as you hated thinking it, it definitely suited him.

The last two years felt like a long blur of trying to forget him and everything or everyone associated with him. Those were of course difficult things to do, many of the people in your shared three-year life with Mark becoming some of your closest allies and the fact that Mark wasn’t an easy person to erase. Since the two of you met – even when you were just friends – you had a magnetic like pull to one another that couldn’t just be forgotten and dismissed. You were even feeling it right now after everything. 

He’s wearing a tight smile, almost as if he too can’t believe you’re standing here in front of him. It was as though you were the one inconveniencing him, when he had been the one to even say something to you. If you had seen him first, you would have turned around and ran the other way pretending like it never happened. For some reason he was willing to acknowledge you. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” his tight smile soon fades away and his voice is smooth as ice, a nonchalance to it that makes you question whether he even cares about this run in.

“Me either. Good to see you… Now if you’ll excuse me…” You replied pushing past him to continue your previous task of looking for chips. Much to your dislike, he follows you as you embark on one of the aisles, your eyes scanning the items placed out oh so carefully. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me how I’ve been? What I’ve been up to?” 

The last you had heard of Mark was that he had moved to Beijing after being given a position at a video game development company. At first you had been surprised at Mark taking a job overseas, he had always expressed to you how even over his own dead body he would never leave LA, but ultimately him in China relieved you. No longer did you have to avoid your favorite spots in the city for boba or the park bench where you got most of you best thinking done. You didn’t even have to be worried about getting invited to a party or dinner with a friend, wondering if Mark was going to show up. With Mark gone you could freely have your life back and not walk around with the fear of running into him. But you guessed that it could only have lasted so long before fate – as cruel as she was – brought you two together again. 

“No that’s okay. I’m good,” you go down another aisle, he still follows suit.

Where were those damn chips? 

“If you’re looking for the chips, they’re over there,” he said pointing behind you to the back wall in a location that you should have noticed sooner, “and if you want your favorite brand of salt & vinegar chips, they’re on the bottom shelf.”

Your stomach churned, he thought after all this time he would be able to still just know you like the back of his hand? What snack you’re looking for? What chips you like? No way. 

Wordlessly you march to the back and stare at the shelves in front of you. You felt your hand dangerously moving forward to the bottom to grab the salt & vinegar chips Mark mentioned, but you control yourself and pull back not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Instead you opt for plainly salted kettle chips. 

“Thanks… you’ve been a big help. See you never,” you scoffed turning around to face him and pushing past him to pay for your item, leaving Mark in the dust behind you. 

“What you’re not going to even pretend that it’s nice to see me?” 

“What the fuck do you want me to say?” you practically spat at him, the father and daughter from earlier staring at the two you, the father particularly appalled for your colorful choice of language. 

Mark’s silent and you turn back to the self-checkout to scan your chips, hopeful to not think about your ex-boyfriend for the next thirteen hours. He watches you carefully as you take out your wallet to pay and tap your card against the reader. It isn’t difficult for him to sense the tension in your body, he can see it just from you performing the simple and mundane task of paying. The worst part is that he knows he’s the cause. 

Grabbing your snack, you exit the small store and Mark follows you, grabbing your wrist, he tries again, “you could say something nice? Like you care? It’s been two years y/n… Can’t we just be normal people with each other?” 

At this you feel something in you snap, “I don’t care how much time has fucking passed Mark… I’m never going to get over you just completely throwing our relationship out the window. I can’t believe I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you… I was so fucking dumb to think you cared about me for even one minute. So, to answer your question… no we can’t just be normal people with each other. We were never normal people with each other to begin with.” 

The two of you had started off as friends, just friends. It was something new for Mark, being just friends with a girl and not having sex attached. Many people in your life warned you not to get close to him, that he was just a fuckboy who didn’t care about the emotional – it was only the physical with him. Ultimately you ignored him, becoming his friend and finding that you two just worked together. First you worked together as friends and soon you fell under his Mark Tuan spell, working together as lovers. 

Throughout your entire relationship you did your best to trust Mark, which you accomplished for the most part, but in the back of your head you would constantly hear the voices of everyone around you. You would hear the stories of the girls he had before you and how terribly he treated them, but you ignored it all. After a while you started to think of it all a little less, people even congratulating you on lasting so long with Mark – something that tended to annoy you. You knew that they didn’t see the Mark that you knew, the Mark that wanted to be something else for you, the best for you. Then after three years together, almost a month after your anniversary, you found out he had been with someone else. 

The old Mark had perhaps never truly vanished, but was just immensely good at hiding. 

Now here you were in front of him and you couldn’t tell who this Mark was. 

Mark scoffed, “you haven’t changed at all…” Now he was mad at you? “It’s probably better we just say goodbye here.” 

You rolled your eyes, “That’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time.” 

He wanted to say more, but looking at how annoyed you were at merely being close to him, he let it go. It was hard for him to understand how he was feeling. He longed for you, but he also felt a lot of anger towards you that he wasn’t sure how to control. 

Both of you stare at one another, neither of you wanting to be the first one to walk off. Without a word, you both collect yourselves and assumedly prepare to embark on your respective gates. Mark gives you a final glance with his fists now clenched in frustration and turns to walk toward his flight. 

You realize he’s going the same direction as you and you follow awkwardly behind. After a moment – as if he can sense you’re still there – he turns around and scowls at you. 

“Why are you following me?” 

You snorted, the actual audacity of Mark Tuan. This is an airport for fuckssake, you can’t control where your flight is, “as if I would ever follow you! I’m going to my gate! I think the better question is why are you following me?”

“I’m going to my gate!” 

“Okay!” You yell a little too loud, “Okay!” he repeated, matching your volume. You can sense that people are starting to stare at the two of you for your truly unprompted yelling. 

Mark looks back at you once again, rolling his eyes. The two of you may have gates in the same area, but you can’t stand to look at him any longer – much less his back which you couldn’t help but notice has become much broader. Not that you would admit it to him… or anyone. 

You pick up your pace, passing Mark and causing him to trail behind. You expect him to say some snarky remark or rude comment when you go in front of him, but instead all you hear is an annoyed groan. It’s when you finally reach your gate and sit down in the waiting area that you feel Mark is no longer right behind you, but instead frozen in the main concourse, in front of the space you’re seated in. He feels his mouth go dry and he wants to scream. All he wants is to just be rid of you, to not be forced to think of you when you’re right in front of him. He wanted to wipe his brain clean. 

It suddenly dawns you on the reason why Mark is frozen as if he can’t comprehend what he’s seeing. You stand up abruptly, “this can’t be happening.” 

He snaps out of his trance with your words and comes closer to the gate, approaching where you’re seated. You’re just about to wave your hands, warning him not to come any closer when he huffs and sits down on a chair only few away from your own. 

“You’re going to Seoul?” He says it as if you being allowed in the Korean peninsula is a disgusting idea. 

“I’ve been traveling between LA and Seoul every 2 months for the last year and a half, so yes I am. Aren’t you supposed to be going to Beijing or something?”

He smirked, “I thought you didn’t care about what I was up to?” 

“I only care if it assures that you’re as far away from me as humanely possible.”

Your ex looks at his watch and at the screen of the gate alerting passengers that boarding would begin in a few minutes, “well since you’re so curious. I didn’t like Beijing, so I found a job in Seoul that I like much better. 

“Didn’t want to come back to LA?” 

He looks back to you and you almost wish he hadn’t, “there’s not really a lot left in LA for me anymore.” 

Both of you stare at one another for a moment, and you feel your stomach flip. Does he mean what I think he means? Your eyes drift down to your lap and you feel yourself pulling out your phone, not needing any more Mark. 

You manage to pass 10 minutes this way, aimlessly refreshing your emails and ignoring Brian’s latest text asking if you’ve boarded yet. Being so engrossed in your phone, you didn’t even notice Mark’s constant glances up at you, wondering what you were looking at or who you were talking to. 

There it is again, he thought to himself, Do I care? Do I not care? What the fuck, make up your mind dude. 

When the call for First-Class boarding comes to your dismay, both you and Mark stand up. You try to just tell yourself that it’s not important, you would probably both be seated aisles apart, not having to spend any more unwarranted time together. 

Even when you’re finally on the plane and find yourself behind him once again in the aisle, you tell yourself that this will be the last moment you have to see Mark Tuan. 

“Here’s your seat sir, can I get you any drinks or snacks before take-off?” the flight attendant asked Mark when she shows him his seat. He gives this shit eating grin that makes you want to slap it off his face, you couldn’t believe he was doing this in front of you. What? Did he think he was going to get to fuck the flight attendant as an extra First-Class amenity? 

“Ah no thank you, I’m fine for now, but I’ll let you know if anything changes,” you feel awkward standing in the aisle watching this unfold, especially since you can see the attendant is giving in, blush creeping up on her face from Mark’s smooth gaze. You clear your throat, reminding her that you too are there and she quickly turns to you, an apologetic look on her face. 

“And here's your seat Miss,” she graciously steps back to let you slide into your seat and you don’t move.

This had to be a joke. 

You looked from your seat, to Mark’s and then to the flight attendant. 

“I can’t sit here... I’m sorry but there has to be another seat available.” 

“I’m sorry ma’am, but there are no other openings in First Class. We only have seats available back in economy.” 

This couldn’t be happening. You had been saving all of your miles for a First-Class upgrade for forever, there was no way you were going to give it up, “Mark move to coach.” 

“Huh? Are you joking? My company paid for this; I’m not moving back there! You move!” 

How were you supposed to sit in front of Mark Tuan for the next thirteen hours? The man who had loved you so deeply, but also caused you the most pain. 

Just as people had stared at the two of you in the terminal, the other passengers in your surrounding area were also beginning to look. Maybe if the two of you got into one of your notorious screaming matches, someone would feel bad enough and offer to trade. You couldn’t do that to someone, you wouldn’t wish being stuck next to Mark Tuan on a long-haul flight on your worst enemy. Well… Mark was your worst enemy. 

Smiling, you turn back to the flight attendant, “It’s fine… I’ll just stay here. Thank you though.” She gives you a smile, but you can sense some annoyance behind her eyes. You can’t blame her. 

Mark looks at you wide eyed, previously caught up in organizing his space, but snapping out his activities when he hears your dismissal about moving seats, “uh… what are you doing? Are you seriously going to sit here?” 

“Yes Mark. Unlike you, I paid for my seat so I’m not moving anywhere.” 

He scoffed, “Fine.” 

“Fine!” 

-- 

hour one 

“Ma’am could you tell the gentleman in 3A to stop chewing so loudly?” You asked the flight attendant, putting on the sweetest voice possible. Mark was driving you up the wall and you were only an hour into the flight. 

It was almost as though you could hear every single cough, every shifting in his seat and it was all driving you up the wall. Just knowing he was there irked you.

The flight attendant looks clueless and as she opens her mouth slowly, unsure of how to respond. You hear Mark’s low voice grumble from behind you, also addressing the attendant, “uh ma’am can you tell the lady in 2A to mind her own business, pop a xanny and just go to sleep?” 

She clearly wasn’t expecting to deal with any difficult passengers this early on in a thirteen-hour flight. For her sake you wish you could deal with Mark and be more civil, but that clearly wasn’t going to happen. 

hour three 

“Y/n…” 

Be strong, you tell yourself, don’t look back, you can get through this.  

“Y/n?” 

It’s probably not important… He just wants to annoy you. 

“Y/n!” 

Screw being strong. 

“What the fuck do you want?” Being in semi-pods in First-Class it was difficult to just whip around and face Mark, to show him your annoyance under the lights beginning to dim. 

“Do you have any extra AirPods?” 

“Why the fuck would I just carry around extra Airpods around with me? Are you an idiot?” You sneered. 

“Jesus Christ I was just asking. You don’t have to be so vicious. Maybe someone should fuck the tension out of you,” he said, mumbling the last part. He says it so quietly and so half assed that you almost think that you misheard him. 

“Choke on a dick Mark,” you replied quietly, not wanting the other passengers to hear or disturb the few who had already drifted asleep. 

He scoffed, “maybe you should be.” 

You were wrong, the Mark that you had reunited with was just the same old fuckboy Mark who didn’t give a fuck about anyone. 

Placing your AirPods in your ears, you close your eyes and ignore the rest of Mark’s efforts to speak to you, just wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and wake up in your hotel room in Seoul. 

hour seven 

You pop your headphones out of your ears in frustration, feeling as though you hadn’t managed to get any real sleep during the hours that had passed. You look behind you to Mark’s seat, and feel relieved to see his eyes closed and a slow, shallow breath coming from his mouth. 

It felt weird to gaze at Mark and know you were no longer apart of his life. Sure, it had been two years, but you hadn’t seen  him or had to deal with the reality that there was now a separate you and a separate Mark. Two entities that had nothing to do with one another anymore. Although sometimes it felt like you were still anchored to him. 

Suddenly he shifted over onto his side, mumbling incoherent words in his sleep. The only thing you could make out was your own name. It made you feel uncomfortable, not because he was clearly dreaming about you, but you felt as though you were invading his private space, infiltrating an intimate moment. 

“y/n… please…” he mumbled. 

You felt like you’d heard enough. The flight was making you restless and you weren’t sure what you would do if you kept listening to Mark’s breathless calls for you. Standing up, you decide it’s probably best now to stretch and go to the bathroom, before you embark on your further slumber. 

When you finish up in the bathroom, you almost have a heart attack pulling back the door to be met with Mark’s tall figure.

“Oh my god you scared me,” you said placing your hand on your chest. You shake your head, stepping out of the bathroom with the door closing firmly behind you. Attempting to go back to your seat, you position yourself to move past him, but he moves along with you to keep you from leaving.

“What are you doing?” 

Mark doesn’t know what’s taken over him, he had woken up in a frenzy, his dreams not doing anything to help his mental state. He hadn’t dreamt about you in months, but of course as soon as you’re back in his life he has to have fantasies of you wrapped around him once again. It was torturous, especially with you only a few feet away from him. He dreamed about having you every way and any way, feeling like he was going crazy. When he saw you missing from your seat, he immediately got up almost as if in a sleep induced haze unable to control his actions.

"When are you going to stop pretending that you don’t want to be under me again?” he purred.

Your blood goes cold. Was he drunk? His words make you nervous, scared that someone could hear, but looking around the dark cabin it seemed as though everyone in First-Class was fast asleep. 

“Mark…” you begin, your tone clearly frustrated, but also weakening a bit, clearly evident that his words are affecting you. It had been so long since someone talked to you like this, and you felt that the hours you had spent on the plane already altering your sanity.

“You were always such a good girl for me, what changed? When did you become so stubborn? What happened to my girl who was always so willing and sweet?” 

“I was screwed over by an asshole, that’s what happened,” you mumbled trying to avert his gaze and prayed that maybe if you weren’t to look at him you could pretend that there wasn’t a part of you hanging on his every word. 

“That was in the past. I’ve changed now… But I’m still your boy. Even after two fucking years, I’m still yours.” 

You want to fight with him, say that if he was always your boy and still is then he would have never cheated on you. He would have never spent a night with someone else.  

“Let me fuck the anger out of you.” 

“What?” Okay he had to be drunk.

“You and I have too much sexual tension, and we’re both angry so let’s just fuck to relieve the tension.” 

“You’ve said some pretty fucking dumb things before, but this is… this is…” you drift unsure of what exactly you think it is. 

“A good idea?” 

“Mark I’m not having sex with you in an airplane bathroom.” 

“What? Like that’s bothered you before?” 

When you were with Mark, the two of you would have sex in the riskiest places, so you weren’t a stranger to the kind of sex where you could be caught at any moment, but you had never joined the mile-high club before. 

“We’re not together. I hate you and you hate me… for some reason.” You never understood why exactly Mark had been mad at you all of these years and acted as though you were the devil himself when he had been the one that ruined the two of you. Maybe it was because you hadn’t given him a second chance? Maybe it was from the influence of you hating him? Or maybe it was because you had never been enough for him, otherwise what would have caused him to spend the night with another woman? 

Mark clicked his tongue and it causes you to bring your attention to his mouth. It almost makes you lose focus completely. “So what if we’re not together anymore? Does that matter?” 

Does that matter? 

His words make you remember something. Something very important. 

Brian. 

“Yes, it matters. I-I have a boyfriend,” for some reason the word “boyfriend” seems to be hard to get out. It was always weird to associate Brian as your boyfriend or your “partner,” but saying it to Mark felt like the weight of a ton of bricks. 

In the dark lighting of the cabin you can just make out the frown that spreads across Mark’s face. Just as quickly as it appears, it’s gone and the cocky façade is back. 

“And that’s a problem?” your ex asked. 

As you’re about to protest and tell him that commitment in relationships is important to you, Mark reaches his hand out to rest on your bare shoulder, running it softly up and down your arms in a soothing pattern. It was a common gesture between the two of you, something Mark would constantly do whenever you were telling a story or the times you would fall asleep at night. It puts you at ease and you feel yourself close your eyes at his touch. 

Mark would be lying if he said the word “boyfriend” coming out of your mouth didn’t disappoint him. In fact, he felt a similar pain to the one he felt two years ago when you had broken up with him. Mark wasn’t daft, he knew what you thought of him – a player, a fuckboy and someone who never cared about you in the first place. It hurt him to know that you were just like everyone else around him who had a preconceived notion of who he was or what he did. At one point in time he thought you were different. 

But now looking at you and having you back in his life – even for only a thirteen-hour plane ride, he just wanted you back in his arms, back under his touch. He knew he should have felt guilty for not giving one fuck about this “boyfriend” you had acquired at some point during your two years apart, but he didn’t care. If he was going to have to be that cocky fuckboy who paid no mind to any consequences to get you, then so be it. 

“Come on… it’s been two years… let me feel that pussy that I’ve missed so so much,” he whispered seductively against the shell of your ear, “let me fuck into it so good, because I know no one’s filled it up so well since me. Especially not that boyfriend.” 

His words cause you to moan involuntarily and the noise awakens both you and him. You immediately shoot your hand up to cover your mouth, unsure of what’s getting into you. You were supposed to hate Mark, you had spent the last two years training yourself to hate him just in case a moment like this were ever to arise. But maybe that was an easier thing to imagine when you hadn’t seen him, because now with his hands gently caressing you and his request to be inside of you once again, you feel anything but hate. You feel want.

“Fuck Mark…” 

“Just say the word baby, and you have me,” he whispered, delicately placing an open mouth kiss on your wrist, slowly continuing up your arm. 

What were the pros and cons of this? If you were in any other difficult situation you would take a pause and list all of the good and bad things that could come from this. The big con was Brian… Even if you had been feeling strange about where your relationship with him was going and found him to be suffocating, you couldn’t do to him what Mark had done to you. Another negative factor emerged in your mind… you didn’t want to be put under Mark’s spell again, you couldn’t. Even being this close to him made you feel things that you had been trying to forget for two years, sleeping with him after all this time would only make it worse. That worried you. But judging on the primal way your body was reacting to Mark – your wet core being a clear sign – you knew this wasn’t going to be a logical decision where the cons outweigh the pros. 

“I-” you’re about to do it, you’re about to gain enough strength to tell him you don’t want him anymore, but when he pushes your hair away from where it lays on your shoulder and attaches his lips to the side of your neck, any willpower you had vanishing. His gentle sucking on the sweet spot of your neck that he knows oh too well causes you to let out a whimper and he smiles against your skin, knowing he has you. 

“Do it,” you mumbled, eyes still closed. 

Mark brings his lips back to your ear, “do what baby?” His cocky tone makes you want to roll you eyes. He had always done this – torture you until you were begging to feel his touch. 

You open your eyes and give yourself a moment to readjust to the dark lighting of the plane and focus on Mark’s face in the small space in front of the bathroom. You want to see his gaze when you make your non-logical decision.

“Fuck me.” 

The corner of his mouth turns upwards as he brings his arm forward and behind you to pull open the bathroom door, pushing you backwards into the cramped space. 

It’s when he’s pressed up against you and locks the door behind him that the reality of what you’re doing sets in. Just as you feel yourself get used to the harsh lighting, you freeze at Mark’s intense stare. 

“What are you looking at?” You asked. 

He smiled and glanced down at the floor shyly, then back up at you, “You.” 

For the first time since seeing him again at the airport store you feel those feelings in your stomach. No hate, no indifference and no bitterness towards Mark - not even just lust. Instead you felt a warmth for him that reminded you of the good days, not the bad ones. The swell in your heart worried you and you didn’t want to feel or dwell on it so you lean forward and kiss him.

Mark’s lips on yours doesn’t do anything to eliminate the softness you felt for him moments before, if anything it only intensifies it. It feels as though no time has passed for the two of you and the missing piece of the puzzle that you had been searching for has finally found its way back to you. 

A low growl comes from Mark’s throat and it sends your hands to find shelter in his hair. When you were together you had always had a weird thing for Mark’s hair. You loved running your fingers through it, gently massaging his scalp and tugging at the roots. Mark would always joke that you would probably break up with him if he ever shaved his head, which you didn’t exactly argue with. And now it just felt so good to have your hands where they belong. It’s almost as though Mark’s read your mind and he smiles against you lips when he feels your hands, “pull as hard as you want.” 

You feel his tongue at the seam of your lips, urging itself through to deepen the kiss and you tell yourself that it’s not too late, this can be the moment that you opt out for what a mistake this would be. With his hands drifting down from your hips to your ass, you feel yourself part your mouth voluntarily, realizing that you don’t want to stop this. You want to make this mistake; you want nothing more than to let him feel you and taste you even more. 

“I want to taste you so bad,” Mark whispered against your lips, “see if you taste as good as I remember.” 

You want that more than anything. Mark had always been so good with his tongue and just thinking about the hours he had spent between your thighs in the past made you even wetter than when you were having sex with Brian. Judging however, on the space you were both in, you didn’t know if it was physically possible. He can sense your hesitancy by the way your lips begin to still against his. 

He breaks apart from you and gently rubs his thumb along your jawline and lips, “don’t think too much.” In an instant Mark’s crouched down in the very small space in the bathroom and you immediately find yourself worried about his comfort level, “are you sure you’re okay?” 

He looked up at you, a dark look in his eyes and waved you off, “don’t worry about me babe, I’m about to have the best meal of my life.” At the end of his sentence he reaches up to the hem of your leggings and pulls them, along with your panties down in one sweep, pushing them aside. You’re almost surprised at his loftiness, but you remind yourself that it’s Mark. He moves a hand around to the back of your knee, hoisting one of your legs up onto the closed toilet seat, pushing the rest of your body up against the small sink counter. Although the space was already limited as it was, the position brought your core closer to his face and as you looked down to see the way his tongue stroked across his lips, you felt yourself already get lightheaded. 

He began with leaving open mouth kisses along the inside of your lifted thigh and another on the top of your pubic mound. It was enough to make you feel shaky, as though the one leg that was supporting your weight would give out at any moment. You found yourself unfazed, you knew Mark would be there to catch you if you fell. 

Mark leaned in further, his tongue delving between you folds to gather up as much of your wetness as he could, giving you a noisy taste that had him groaning, head pulling back and licking his lips after his first taste in two years.

“You taste even better than I remember, how the fuck could you get sweeter? I don’t even want to go back to my seat after tasting you, I could sit in this bathroom with my mouth on you till the end of the flight.” 

You found yourself wanting nothing more than to be stuck in this crammed bathroom with Mark for as long as you both could get away with. The person who was contemplating whether or not this was a bad idea didn’t even exist to you anymore. One lap of his tongue on you and you were reminded of all the ways he could make you fall apart. 

He tongued your clit slowly at first, every stroke almost teasing – as if he was making up for the years you two spent a part. His tongue would slip lower, working its way along your gushing entrance to remind you how much he relished your flavor before returning to your clit, the wet sounds of Mark’s sucking not even embarrassing to you. It was when Mark began to groan against you and swirl his tongue and suck that you felt your hands go back to his hair, roughly pulling him closer. 

“Mark, I-I can’t… I’m gonna – fuck,” you moaned out unable to form a functional and coherent thought. As you feel your orgasm on the horizon and just around the corner, you tug at Mark’s roots further, which encourages him to pick up the pace of his tongue, wanting you to cum on his face just like you had many times before. He wanted to drive you to the brink of pleasure, but he also wanted to prove to himself that he could still bring you to the edge with just his tongue.

Any delicacy he had been exhibiting before is completely gone, the way he laps at your clit and swirls his tongue around your sensitive bundle of nerves causes your chest to heave and sweat on your brow. You’re so caught up in Mark that you barely notice your foot beginning to slip from its security on the toilet. Mark swiftly acknowledges your pending loss of balance and tugs the leg up onto his shoulder, not removing himself from you for even a moment. 

You could feel yourself twitch and the arching of your hips towards his face, “come on baby I know how close you are, I need you to cum for me. Cum for me like all the times before, all over my face. I want it so bad.” 

Mark’s muffled words against you and the final groans he emits from how much he loves your taste is the last straw as you finally let go and the waves of release crash over you. He doesn’t give way as you buck yourself further into him one final time, his back practically hitting the wall of the bathroom. Your body comes down from your climax and you look to see Mark gratefully clean up the release he caused. When he takes his mouth away, you feel your core wavering against the emptiness and loss of warmth it had felt, almost as though it wanted Mark to be a permanent attachment to you. You’re breathless, head falling back to the mirror behind you as Mark stands up, wiping the back of his mouth and jawline which had become messy and shiny with your juices. 

“I knew you were still my little slut,” he pushes the hair that had fallen in front of your face behind you, “letting me have you in a fucking bathroom at 35,000 feet. How else will you let me have you?” He asked attaching his lips back to that spot on your neck. 

It dawns on you that there’s no winning. You once again are completely under the spell and at the mercy of Mark Tuan, willing to let him do whatever he wants to you. “M-Mark whatever you want.” At your response he simply smirked, quickly pulling his joggers and boxers down, his painfully hard cock slapping against his lower stomach. 

“Fuck I’ve been waiting so long to have you around me again. I never thought I would, and I’m going to make every second count.” 

He positions himself in between your legs, gripping your hips and pauses for a moment, clearly contemplating something. Mark hadn’t planned on having sex on the plane, nor did he plan on even seeing you again. 

“Mark if it’s about the condom, it’s fine… I don’t care, I’m still on the pill and I-I trust you.” 

At your trust in him, something he had so deeply been wanting all these years, he doesn’t hesitant another moment at placing himself at your entrance. His teasingly slow rubbing against your slit causes you to let out almost a growl at how much you needed him to be inside of you.

“How much do you want it y/n?” 

“So bad.” 

He pushes into you suddenly, “you’re still my cockslut, huh?” The feeling is too good and too great to answer him, but he’s not satisfied with your nonresponse.

“Answer me.” He sunk himself inside of you further and you do your best to let out the smallest and most inaudible “yes” you’ve ever heard, which thankfully seems to be enough for him. 

“God,” he groaned, “you’re still so tight.” He looks down at the space where your bodies meet, fixating his gaze at the visual of his cock slipping inside your sensitive and swollen folds. Mark waited for a moment for your pussy to get used to having him inside you again, to get reintroduced to his length and girth which it had been so accustomed to in the past. Despite the time that had passed, you felt no discomfort except for the mental discomfort in your head that just wanted him to fuck into you quickly and harshly. 

“Taking me so well, squeezing every inch of me. This pussy knows who it belongs to, who it deserves to be fucked by.” 

“M-Mark,” a final moan of his name is all it takes for him to begin his first real thrust into you, pulling himself out almost entirely. You feel so sensitive and overworked from your earlier orgasm that you aren’t sure how long you can last with the way your walls are clenching around Mark. 

His pace soon became brutal and you’re thankful the loud sound of the engine could cover up the whimpers coming from your mouth and the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Mark’s fingers press into your hips so firmly that you know there will be bruises that you’ll have to explain later, but for now the only thing you can focus on is how full Mark is making you feel. He removes his hand from your side and brings it down between the two of you, fixating on your clit, rubbing until it ached. It caused your body to clench on him further, the continual touch and his fucking into you making you roll your eyes into the back of your head. 

Mark groaned at how snug you felt and how deep you were taking him, his head falling into the crook of your neck and against the bathroom mirror, “whose are you?” 

You know what he wants you to say, but you don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, even in the heat of the moment. It could lead to misunderstandings and a more complex outcome than just that of having sex with him in a fucking airplane bathroom. 

“Whose are you?” He repeated, this time a little bit softer and removing his head from your shoulder to look at you with worrisome eyes. Mark knows that if you say you’re his it’d most likely be untrue, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to hear it one more time, even if it’s a complete and utter lie. He wants to know he has you, even if it’s for this one moment. 

“Yours, I’m all yours,” you breathe out. It comes out on its own, without any time for you to process or comprehend what you’re saying. It surprises you so much that you aren’t even sure if it’s a lie or not. 

That’s all he needed and he thrusts into you even harder, hitting the spot inside of you that makes you want to completely fall apart and combust. You’re too caught up in the pleasure of him ramming into you that you don’t even feel the pain that comes with your backside being continually pushed into small counter of the sink. 

“Cum for me baby, I’m close and I need us to do this together. It’s all I want,” Mark said. His tone perplexes you. It’s forceful and authoritative something that you were no stranger to when it came to sex with Mark, but there was a clear tenderness to it that had you second guessing everything. Maybe this wasn’t just sex. 

It’s one more strum of his cock against your g-spot and the pinching of your clit with his thumb and index finger that has you climaxing around him. The almost violent pulse from your pussy around him due to your orgasm has Mark following close behind, spilling himself deep inside of you. The ecstasy coursing through you causes your entire body to shake and twitch, wanting to collapse completely onto the bathroom floor. You fall against Mark’s body and in his own exhausted state he holds you close, protectively wrapping his arms around you making you feel secure. 

You should want to get out of the situation immediately as a one-time thing, but somehow you can’t bring it in you to remove yourself from his grasp. You felt at home with Mark’s arms around you and him still inside of you. It was a comfort a sense of normalcy you hadn’t felt with anyone since Mark. He softly strokes your hair, placing gentle kisses on the top of your head remembering how much you liked it after a tiring session of sex.

It feels as though no time has passed, but soon you find yourself out of Mark’s hold. He removes his now soft cock from you and you can feel yours and his cum leaking from your core, down to your thighs. It’s almost as though this movement has finally woken you up. You delicately collapse onto the toilet, making sure to take extra care with your now jelly-like legs. With your head in your hands in disbelief at the actions you had just willingly followed through on, Mark stares at you. 

“Fuck… I’m so mad at myself.”

With the small amount of space, he has, Mark shifts his weight from one foot to the other, “why? That was so fucking great.” 

You looked up at him in a scolding manner, he still had no perception of reality, but apparently now you were one and the same. “Because now I did the same thing to Brian that you did to me.”

There’s a pause and Mark avoids all eye contact with you. He had imagined this talk so many times – the talk the two of you never got to have and he really didn’t want it to be here, like this. But by some strike of luck, fate had brought you back to him, even for a short period of time and he may never get the opportunity to come clean again. 

Choosing to continue to avert your gaze, Mark sighs deeply and busies himself with pulling up his joggers. 

“I didn’t cheat on you.”  

You feel like ice and your whole body goes numb, “W-what?” 

He sighs again, looking down, “I never cheated on you.” 

You think there’s no way you could have heard him correctly. Your entire break up, the reason you ended your passionate love story with the one person you saw a future with came from his cheating. It couldn’t be a lie… Could it? 

One thing was for certain, you knew Mark so well and judging by the fidgeting and fiddling with his fingers you can tell you still do. And he was telling the truth. Your stomach flipped. 

“Then why did you let me believe that you did?”

“You were the only person in my life who didn’t believe all those stupid rumors about me, the only person who didn’t believe I was a fuckboy like everyone thought… but then the moment someone tells you they think they saw me with someone, you pack your bags. I figured you wouldn’t believe me, just like everyone else.”

It’s ridiculous. The words coming out of his mouth are ridiculous, but part of you understands what he’s saying. Maybe you had been too quick to judge, too quick to believe everyone else’s preconceived notions regarding your own boyfriend, but what were you supposed to do when he didn’t even defend himself? 

“You know… even after all this time, I still don’t know why I hated you. I really don’t know if it was because I thought you cheated or because you never went after me when I left.” 

Mark’s silent, and the weight of the situation continues to hit the two of you like a bus. Part of you feels betrayed by him. More betrayal then when you first heard the rumors. The two of you could have been together this whole time, saved each other from years of pain, sorrow and longing, but instead it’s almost as though he forced it upon you both.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Jesus fuck Mark we’re not Marianne and Connell from Normal People, we can talk to each other.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Who?” 

“I’ve been watching a lot of TV since we broke up.” 

There’s another silence between the two of you and in the small space it feels deafening and suffocating. You want nothing more than to go back to your seat and forget this even happened. Weirdly enough, the sex part you were fine with. It was this conversation that left you feeling like you couldn’t get a proper breath of air into your lungs, almost as if you were drowning. 

You take a piece of toilet paper from the roll beside you and use it to attempt to clean up the mess that had already begun drying on your legs. Mark watches you mindlessly, unsure of what to say himself. He knows he made a mistake from not telling you and effectively keeping the two of you apart, but every time he would reach for the phone to dial your number he would be reminded of the pain he felt and all the things you had called him that day. 

Everyone was right! Why didn’t I just fucking listen to them? Does a three year relationship mean nothing to you? I thought you changed… were different… but now I just feel like I wasted my time.

“I-I really don’t know what to say if I’m honest,” you finally stuttered out, grabbing your discarded leggings and pulling them on, “did you want me to leave you?”

Mark shakes his head vigorously, completely taken aback at you even thinking that, “no... Not at all... I just- it was complicated.”

“Right and you don’t do complicated. Got it.” You stand up and move to unlock the door, but Mark moves in front of you as he did earlier. 

“Y/n... Can we just talk about this? When we land can we just go to a cafe and talk about everything? I still- I mean... even after all this time I-” He begins, but you’re too scared to hear him finish the sentence.

“Mark we’ve had a lot of time to talk. Just please let me go back to my seat.” 

This time he makes no effort to stop you from leaving and you quickly slip out of the bathroom, fearful someone might see you. Luckily, everyone is still fast asleep and you walk back down the aisle to your seat wanting to forget about what Mark had said.  

You couldn’t deal with the what ifs, you couldn’t get lost in a fantasy of imagining that maybe you and Mark could be married already if he would have just said something. You couldn’t be that cruel to yourself.

After a few moments, you notice the bathroom occupied sign go away, signaling Mark’s arrival back to his seat. 

He knows he could just sit down and go back to sleep, falling back in to the way things were. But he had already not tried to go after you once before and he had been regretting it ever since. He had to say fuck that to all of the fears he had of being judged and put trust back into someone again. He wanted you.

Your eyes which had drifted closed soon shot open as you felt a movement at the side of your chair, turning to see Mark crouched down next you

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I already let go of you once, I’m not doing it again. If I have to spend the next,” he brings his watch up to look at the time, “six hours convincing you, then so be it. I’m not letting walk away from me this time.” At his final word he moves his hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear and goes to sit down. His eyes piercing into the back of your seat.

You felt Mark’s words, you felt them deeply in every part of you and it made you think that the Mark you love was still in there. 

Love.

You still loved him.

The beating of your heart made it difficult to fall asleep, but when you finally did you had a decision made and a smile on your face. 

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #mark tuan #mark tuan fanfic #got7 fanfiction

[yaz-the-spaz]

But I want to know your theory. :(

ok ok i guess i’ll spill…i was kinda hesitant to share just cause i’m still not all that solid in my belief in it myself but basically it seems like maybe ziam has made it a tradition to have some kind of couples trip most years (if not every year) in february ever since 2014…

(btw for future reference this ask is a continuation of this ask re ziam both being publicly in vegas earlier this year)

ugh sorry guys! hit enter by accident and posted this wayyyy before i was anywhere near finished lol…this will be updated within the hour (if it doesn’t take me too long to get my thoughts out)

narrator: she did not finish it within the hour.

…

ok so part of the reason i’ve been hesitant to share this is because a good portion of it is VERY speculative and just based on a lot of guesswork and assumptions, but also there’s the fact that it feels like this is something major that more people in the fandom (or at least someone, other than little ass me lol) would have noticed before now and it kind of freaks me out that maybe no one else has?? (unless ofc i just haven’t happened to see any other posts there are about it idk)… 

also fyi a lot of what i propose throughout this is heavily based on info from this post just to make sure i remember to site my sources before we get into it lol

alright now onto the actual theory…

SO. all this started with me scrolling through old posts from late 2013/early 2014 and being reminded of the fuckery that was zayn’s bday that year (with the douche canoe crew and everyone pretending like liam was barely there as seemingly some sort of weird over-the-top cover-up)…the same party that seemed kinda like liam’s possible “introduction” to the malik family as more than just zayn’s friend/as his possible significant other. which was also only a month after that suspicious engagement-looking ring first showed up on zayn’s ring finger in december 2013 from bts midnight memories mv footage (and which stayed around as a necklace throughout january 2014 and early febuary 2014 right before the first appearance/debut of the mandala tat in mid feb). 

bts midnight memories mv with the ring in view - dec 2013:

(suspicious?) malik family outing/celebration with the ring in view - dec (or possibly late nov?) 2013:

[putting the rest under the cut cause as per usual with me this got insanely long]

liam and aunt zileh at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

liam and one of the little cousins at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

then sometime in between late jan and early feb 2014 liam went on a trip to barbados with his whole family (and supposedly also sophia lol more on that later*) while zayn was SUPPOSEDLY still home and steadily “posting” pics of himself at home with various members of his family (with the ring on a necklace clearly visible in the pics lol), anddd as some have also pointed out his hair was suspiciously unchanged in these pics despite his claim of getting a haircut BEFORE most of the pics were posted lol

zayn in family pics with the ring on a necklace - late jan/early feb 2014 (sorry i’m not the one who cropped his fam out lol):

but yet we’re supposed to believe zayn - who had just gotten awarded the asian ambassadorship for the VERY FIRST time - mysteriously (and willingly) MISSED the ceremony on feb. 5th with absolutely no explanation. which…we all know how big a deal that was to him from the way he talked about it and how honored he was when he went in 2015…which begs the question if he was really just home not doing much of anything at the time in 2014 why in the world would he just pass/bail on that HUGE HONOR with no explanation??? mayhaps because he was actually already an ocean away with liam and fam in barbados celebrating his engagement (and getting his own “introduction” to the payne family) and literally COULD NOT ATTEND?

anyway so then, we have him getting the mandala tat around feb 18th 2014 - or at least this is the day he debuted it on his old ig, so the date may be a few days off from when he actually got it - but this still would’ve been shortly after they got back from the barbados trip when he debuted this particular tat (aka another solidification of the engagement??) 

THEN we get the very first ig ziam likes from the famous and beloved aunt zileh (!!!) in this same month (still feb for reference, but she continues steadily and heavily liking stuff all the way through april when she seems to cool down again). fast forward to the 2014 brits at the end of february where we have the infamous moment with 1) ziam giddy as fucking ever, 2) zayn whispering into and practically mawling liam’s neck in public, 3) liam talking about how it was great to “fill each other in” on what they were up to during their break while zayn’s just steady standing there smiling like a loon and then 4) liam still later being like ‘you don’t wanna know’ when asked what he got up to (and zayn still grinning like a fool)

ziam being gross at brits 2014:

so to sum up so far: 1) one of them possibly proposed around nov/dec 2013 (or that’s my best guess anyway based on the evidence lol), 2) then zayn shows up with a suspiciously-engagement-looking ring in dec 2013, 3) then all the weirdness with liam’s attendance at zayn’s bday party a month later (possibly also liam’s formal intro to the malik family), 4) then liam takes his barbados trip with his fam (and supposedly sophia lol*) just a couple weeks later while “zayn” stays home and posts family pics (but is very likely secretly on the trip with liam lol which is also possibly zayn’s formal intro the payne family and a belated celebration of their engagement), 5) and then we get the beginning of aunt zileh’s likes, 6) the debut of zayn’s mandala tat, 7) and the 2014 brits wildness…all in the space of like 3 months. and most of it happening in FEBRUARY. what a wild fucking journey right?

*side note/fun fact: liam and his fam were posting stuff regularly throughout the duration of the barbados vacay but there were literally zero pics of sophia posted from this trip until like dec 2014 or sometime around then when like ONE random pic suddenly surfaced/was posted and lots of ppl had already speculated that sophia was never there in the first place so once this one pic came up that idea got upgraded to people theorizing that they maybe had some of the fam go back a second time later in the year just to stage take photos to retroactively prove/authenticate the narrative that sophia was there lol

but anyway so back to the actual matter at hand - most of that shit happened in february right? specifically the barbados trip (aka the possible engagement celebration trip)…and when i was talking about all this to a friend we realized ZIAMI WAS ALSO IN FEBRUARY. AND SO WAS THIS YEAR’S VEGAS SHIT. AND THEN. AND THEN. My friend did some research and there was apparently this little known/barely talked about article (or at least barely talked about that i’m aware of) about liam taking a TRIP TO THE MALDIVES IN FEBRUARY 2016… which coincidentally (or not lol considering these shady ass hoes) is also around the same time he got his 4 tattoo (I believe this was the first article, or at least one of the first articles, that mentioned the tat’s debut) 

BUT WAIT. 

THE INSANE SHIT DOES NOT END THERE FOLKS.

GUESS WHICH MONTH THE CARTIER BRACELET FIRST DEBUTED?

FUCKING FEBRUARY 2016.

specifically on liam’s wrist in preparation for the 2016 brits (photo posted to his brits stylist’s ig on feb 23rd). and he didn’t take it off till like june.

so. quick timeline:

february 2016 - maldives trip and debut of liam’s 4 tattoo (around feb 21st); debut of cartier bracelet via liam (feb 23rd); (there was also that valentine’s day roses pic liam posted feb 14th of this year which was quite interesting considering he and c hadn’t even been officially announced as a “thing” yet…ofc we know it still got retroactively attributed to her anyway but whatever, we all know who it was really for lol 😏)

february 2017 - i don’t have anything on this year, partly cause i stopped paying as close attention due to heavy ramping up of stunts, although if anyone has more concrete info on this period that hints at anything please do hit me up and i will add it in, but anyway just based on a little light research there does appear to be a good period of inactivity from both of them during this time (as in both of them had quite a bit of time in february where they were pretty inactive on sm, not being papped, and essentially mia and would have potentially had time to go on a private trip) - UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS THE YEAR LIAM SHOWED UP AT THE BRITS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING 25 ON HIS JACKET AND FUCKED SIMON ALL THE WAY UP BY SWERVING ON HIS UGLY BITCH ASS SPEECH IN FRONT OF GOD AND ENTIRE WORLD (and i think also thanked zayn in his speech if i’m not mixing that up with another year??) - all on feb 23rd to be specific.

february 2018 - ZIAMI OBVIOUSLY (which specifically started feb 22nd, or at least that’s the day i’m counting it as ‘started’ cause it’s the day liam joined zayn in miami, can’t recall the exact day zayn arrived but pretty sure it was only a couple days before that)

february 2019 - zayn starts wearing this distinctive fishhook earring in all his ig pics, which on the surface seems like a pretty small thing, but quite possibly commemorates their famous august 2014 fishing trip (directly after which he also started wearing a fish hook pendant on a necklace back in 2014); this was also another period they were pretty quiet/mia as far as i can recall, although again if anybody has more concrete info from this time that could point to something please let me know, but anyway point being they again would have had a good chunk of time to possibly go on a private trip together

february 2020 - VEGAS BABY

ofc i’m sure you all will notice one year was left out - february 2015 they were on tour with no breaks coming anytime soon so they obviously weren’t able to go on a trip that year. BUT. february 14th 2015 (aka valentine��s day lol) is also the day liam was famously papped with some small shopping bags that looked suspiciously but precisely like the type that usually come from a jewelry store, and then later that same night they had a performance (for otra tour) where we have zayn pictured wearing a new gold bracelet (as in he hadn’t been seen wearing it ever before on tour or anywhere else) - btw the op of this linked post actually marks this day as the debut of the cartier bracelet but there’s a lot of counter speculation that it’s not and given that it doesn’t quite look like the cartier bracelet looked in later pics (it’s more round and more gold than the cartier bracelet which imo looks more angular and more kind of a two-tone/silvery-gold than this vday bracelet) i’m inclined to lean more towards it just being a regular but still very sweet vday-gifted bracelet. but anyway back to more important stuff. now considering this was literally just a little over a month before zayn left - and one of my theories for zayn leaving was that it was possible he felt it was the only way to save his relationship with liam…i mean if they were still giving each other vday presents they were clearly still VERY in love at this point. like that’s not the kind of thing you’d expect from a couple that was on the rocks and on the verge of breaking up and i know a lot of ppl (myself included for a brief minute) speculated that zayn leaving the band meant he maybe left liam too/or things weren’t working out b/t them or whatever, but given this context of the vday gifts just a few weeks before him leaving that doesn’t really line up…what does line up though is him being so in love and so sick of the bs that he might be driven to just be done with it all (as far as the stress of the band and mgmt bs is concerned at least). and ofc liam did say that zayn is the most emotionally impulsive/emotionally driven out of all them so when you think about it it really shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise…

anyway, in conclusion: 

it appears quite possible ziam has made it a couples tradition (ever since that first honeymoonish vacay in 2014) to go on some sort of trip/getaway together around the end of every february (or at least do something special together/for each other when they can’t) and in further conclusion I AM NOT OKAY AND WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS REALIZATION OKAY THANKS BYE 😭😭😭😭😭🌈🌈🌈 

#asks #anons #ziam #ziam february #ziam engagement #ziam anniversary #ziam theories #ziami #ziam vegas #(btw ziam vegas 2020 was feb 23rd but i didn't wanna ruin the aesthetic of the line by putting it in there so i just added it here lol) #ziam jewelry #ziam bracelets #cartier bracelets #aunt zileh #ziam tattoos #mandala tattoo #zayn's mandala tattoo #liam's 4 tattoo #ziam coincidences #ziam masterposts #zayn leaving #ugh i'm soooo sorry guys i did not anticipate this taking me a full 4 goddamn hours wtf #(i started this at 10:30pm and it is now 2:18am what in the actual hell is my brain whyyyy am i like this) #but anyway i really hope this gets a a good amount of notes for all the work (read: blood; sweat & tears lol) i put into #getting all this together in a coherent way lol #(cause y'all do not wanna see the mess of a convo this spawned from - honestly it is A PIPING HOT MESS lol) #anyway enjoy folks #(good lord what is wrong with me i literally just added a whole nother extra hour of work for myself by deciding to add gifs and pics #and more links...it is now past 3am...i have a PROBLEM)

[sagemoderocklee]

Prompt list 2, #11 for gaalee!

okay, it’s been ages since i reblogged whatever that prompt list was and i don’t remember what it was and i was only able to find one list of prompts and tbh, i had so much fun writing Gaara drunk for Kado that i’m just gonna roll with the prompt I found because i need a warm-up writing exercise to get me movin today. this is kind of aimless and rambling and not really anything special fyi.

based on the prompt it’s probably obvious, but tw for discussions of alcohol use (past, not shown) and also for insensitive jokes surrounding drunken sex (there wasn’t actually any but kankurou can be an asshole)

things you said when you were drunk

Gaara groaned, rolling over and directly into another body. It was a well-muscled body, because it felt like Gaara had rolled directly into a wall. His mouth tasted foul. Worse than foul. Was there a word for that? He didn’t know, and his brain wasn’t offering up any stronger alternatives at the present moment because it was head was pounding as though someone had taken a sledgehammer to it.

He forced his eyes open, lifting his head to stare at the prone figure at his side. 

“Oh no,” he groaned. What happened? Had he really gotten so trashed at his sister’s wedding that he’d taken a stranger up to his room and--

“Good morning!” The stranger was awake. And very loud.

Gaara groaned in protest, pulling his pillow over his head.

“I am so sorry,” the man dropped his voice. Barely. “Would you like me to order some room service?”

Gaara shook his head beneath the pillow. What he wanted was for his drunken mistake to go away. Far away.

“I am sorry, I could not hear you. What was that?”

“Please,” Gaara begged, voice cracking. “Please, don’t talk. Just... shhhh.”

The man gave a quiet little ‘ah’ of understanding, rising from the bed and shuffling around the room. Gaara changed lifting the pillow up to look at the stranger, who was busy putting a shirt on. Gaara’s face flushed.

“Do you--do you know what happened last night?” he finally asked. He shifted, rising from the bed in a hunched fashion, blankets falling to reveal his rumbled suit.

“Of course! You got very, very drunk and uh, well...” The man flushed, his odd, boyish face turning bright red. He coughed. “You said some.... things. I promise, nothing happened.”

“Then... why are you in my room?”

The man laughed, as loud as he talked. “We are in my room. You were too drunk to tell me what room was yours, and I could not find any of your friends or family to help me. I did not want to leave you all by yourself in your state, but I promise, I was a perfect gentleman.”

His rescuer struck a pose, the most dramatic thumb’s up Gaara had ever seen, and smiled with all his teeth. 

“Are you sure you do not want me to order some room service? I have it on good authority that the free coffee is not particularly good, and I am sure you could use a pick me up.”

Gaara’s stomach turned over. He smacked his lips, his mouth as dry as a desert. Finally, he relented. “I could use some coffee.”

“Perfect! Here.” A menu was thrust into his face, the words blurring for a second. “I was going to order breakfast, too. Feel free to pick out whatever you want.”

“Um... I don’t wanna put you to anymore trouble,” Gaara hedged, though he couldn’t deny he was hungry.

“Nonsense! If it was any trouble, I would not have offered.”

“I can pay you back--”

“Please, think nothing of it.” The man disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, leaving Gaara to look over the menu and wonder about the finer details of the night before.

He could remember the first toast and the second toast clearly, but by the third his memory was fuzzy. He’d always been a lightweight, but he was usually more careful about how much he drank, knowing full well the limits of his tolerance.

The man returned from the bathroom, smiling as though he hadn’t spent the night before partying. How could he be so chipper first thing in the morning?

“Did you decide on what you wanted?”

“I’ll just have a plain omelette.” That should hopefully be gentle on his roiling stomach. “And a coffee. Black with sugar.”

“That sounds like the perfect thing to perk you up!”

Gaara didn’t want to ask, but he had to know. “What exactly happened last night? I mean, I know nothing--nothing happened between us, but I don’t remember even meeting you.”

The man’s expression was caught between open embarrassment and dejection. “Ah, I should have realized you would not remember that. I think you were already quite drunk by the time Naruto-kun introduced us.”

“Naruto? So then you were one of Shikamaru’s guests?” He’d had to assume, given that no one else was in the room with them that this stranger hadn’t been anyone’s plus one. And he certainly didn’t seem like the sort of person his sister would associate with.

“Indeed, I was! Shikamaru-kun and Naruto-kun are very dear friends of mine, and I was overjoyed to hear about Shikamaru-kun’s engagement to Temari-san! She is your sister, right?”

“Um, yeah. How come I’ve never met you before the wedding?”

“I live abroad! I work in the film industry, so I am always traveling back and forth between LA and Japan. Of course, when I got the invitation, I was worried I would not be able to make it, but thankfully, my schedule opened up and here I am!”

Gaara had to wonder if everyone in LA was this upbeat and earnest.

“And can I ask your name?” An embarrassed flush crept up the back of Gaara’s neck, mixed with the guilt of having forgotten everything about the man.

“Rock Lee!” Again, the man gave a thumb’s up, the dramatic flair perfectly suited to a career in film, Gaara thought dryly.

“Rock Lee. Well, Rock Lee, I appreciate you taking care of me last night. I hope I wasn’t too much trouble.”

The embarrassed flush from before returned to Rock Lee’s incredibly expressive face, a dead giveaway that he was leaving out some very important details. He laughed nervously, waving his hands. “N-no! You were no trouble at all, Gaara-san! Just a little too drunk to be left alone!”

“What are you not telling me?” Gaara asked, but Rock Lee had already picked up the phone and dialed room service. Gaara narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t avoid the conversation forever. Gaara was still in his room, after all.

Once their breakfast order had been placed, Rock Lee offered to let Gaara shower while they waited, a clear sign that he was trying to avoid filling Gaara in on all the horrid details from the night’s festivities.

Gaara allowed him to sidestep the issue--a shower did sound nice and perhaps if he let it go, Rock Lee would drop his guard and let something slip.

By the time he got out of the shower, their food had arrived, and Lee had changed into fresh clothes.

“Breakfast!” Rock Lee chimed. “How was your shower? Do you feel rejuvenated?”

Gaara couldn’t fathom the way Lee spoke. He shrugged. “A bit. Food smells good.”

The omelette was perfectly bland, and the coffee sufficiently strong, which went a long way in lifting Gaara’s mood and settling his stomach. He eyed Rock Lee carefully from the corner of his eye as he ate, weighing the best way to get the truth out of him.

“So,” Gaara began when his omelette was almost gone and his head had cleared. “Did you have fun last night? I mean, before you had to babysit me.”

“I did not mind that!” Rock Lee insisted. “And I did have fun! It was so wonderful seeing all my friends again, and to be able to celebrate Shikamaru-kun’s union with your sister!” A tear glistened at the corner of his round eye, caught between his thick lashes.

“Um, yeah. It was great. Really nice ceremony and all.”

“The ceremony was magical!” The tears in his eyes welled, fat drops clamoring to be free from the clutches of his lashes. “I have never seen such a splendid wedding! Well, I have not been to very many weddings. My friends, Neji and Tenten, are getting married next summer--oh, but you probably do not remember them.”

“They don’t sound familiar,” Gaara confirmed.

“Well, Neji is Hinata-san’s cousin--”

“And that is?”

“Naruto-kun’s girlfriend!” Lee said, scandalized. “How could you not know her?”

“Honestly, I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.” Had she been with him last night? Gaara remembered running into Naruto, but he definitely didn’t remember a woman with him.

“Oh, that is--well, I suppose you and Naruto-kun have not been in touch recently! Because they have been dating for some time now.”

The look on Rock Lee’s face kept Gaara from countering this fact. Clearly, there was trouble in paradise if Naruto had been dating her for ‘some time’ and not told Gaara.

“So,” Gaara quickly searched for a new topic, something that would lead to more concrete answers about the night before. “Naruto dumped me on you, and then ran off with his girlfriend?”

There was a long moment of silence wherein Rock Lee’s expressive face pinched tight, his strange mouth pressed into a line so tight his lips went white. “Actually, he was distracted by Sasuke-kun, but... well that is always how he has been. But I did not mind taking care of you!”

“My brother says I’m a handful when I’m drunk,” Gaara goaded. “Says I get really weepy.”

“Not at all! You were perfectly happy to be in my company! You even--” He stopped short, flushing. He cleared his throat. “You were very happy to spend time with me, even if you do not remember.”

Damn. So close.

“Huh. Well, lucky you then. You didn’t drink much, I take it.”

“Actually, I cannot have alcohol at all. It... does not agree with me.”

Gaara snorted derisively. “I don’t think it agrees with me either.”

“True,” Rock Lee said with a laugh. “However, at least you do not cause property damage when you drink.”

Property damage? Gaara’s curiosity was piqued, but as he opened his mouth to ask further questions, his pocket began to vibrate. The caller ID was a photo of Kankurou, and he answered quickly. “Hey.”

“Heyyyyyy,” Kankurou drawled, his tone arch. “How’s my lil brother doin’ today?”

Gaara glared. “Hungover, no thanks to you and Naruto.”

Kankurou guffawed, his laugh echoing loudly through the phone’s speaker. “I’m sorry,” he said after a minute, completely unapologetic.

“No you’re not,” Gaara said.

“You’re right. I’m not. Soooo. What happened with that guy? The bowl-cut? You two were gettin’ pretty cozy, eh?”

Gaara caught Rock Lee’s wide-eyed gaze at that moment, both of them equally red thanks to Kankurou’s carrying voice.

“Unlike some people,” Gaara stated, accusingly, “Rock Lee didn’t abandon me to fend for myself.”

“Oh, I bet,” Kankurou teased.

“Fuck you,” Gaara said, rolling his eyes. “He made sure I was okay. That’s it.”

“So if I go to your room right now, I’m not gonna find that bowl-cut in there?”

“You’re not gonna find me in there, either. I’m in his room.” Not exactly proof solid that nothing happened, at least not in Kankurou’s mind, but Gaara knew his brother. He’d be knocking down Gaara’s door any minute.

Kankurou whistled. “Damn. And you expect me to believe nothing happened?”

“He’s right here. You can ask him yourself.” Gaara put his phone on speaker, holding it between himself and an indignant Rock Lee.

“Oh shi--”

“Hello,” Rock Lee greeted, his tone clipped. “I will have you know that I would never take advantage of someone in their drunken state and I do not appreciate your mockery!”

Gaara sniggered, covering his face with his hand, while the other end was silent.

“Damn, looks like you got yourself a knight in shining armor, huh, lil brother?” Kankurou finally said. “All right. Guess I better leave you to it. Sorry for insulting your character, Bowl-Cut.” Again, Kankurou did not sound even the least bit sorry.

Rock Lee’s huff of indignation made it clear he wasn’t buying Kankurou’s apology.

“Whatever, jackass,” Gaara said. “I’ll see you later.”

He hung up without another word, tossing his phone on the bed.

“Sorry about my brother.”

“That is all right. I know what it must have looked like to others, but I promise I would never do anything untoward!”

“Yeah, I gathered,” Gaara said. “I appreciate it, by the way.”

“Please, do not mention it. Common decency does not need to be rewarded with thanks!”

Gaara eyed his phone thoughtfully, a thought occurring to him. “I suppose that’s fair. I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

He snatched his phone from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom again, opening up his photo album. Sure enough, there were countless photos and videos from the night before, including a particularly long one, the thumbnail of which he could see Rock Lee’s shining black bowl-cut.

He pressed play.

“--so cute,” a drunk Gaara slurred, the image shaking as he held his phone and zoomed in on an oblivious Lee sitting with a pair of people he didn’t recognize.

Naruto’s familiar snicker echoed through the video. “You think Gejimayu’s cute?”

“Shhhhh!” Gaara shoved the camera and his free hand directly into Naruto’s face, clamping a hand over his mouth. “He’ll hear you!”

The camera zoomed in on Rock Lee again, his friends rising from the table and disappearing on the crowded dance floor.

“You want me to introduce you?”

“Noooooo,” Gaara said. “No, he’s--he’s so--”

The expression on Naruto’s face was one of comic confusion. He stared back and forth between the camera and Rock Lee, eyebrows high on his forehead. “I don’t know a single person who’s ever looked at Rock Lee and been flustered. You are drunker than I thought.”

“Dick,” Gaara grumbled, training the camera on Rock Lee again. “Oh, shit.”

The video ended, the camera half falling as Gaara fumbled to turn it away from Rock Lee who had caught him filming.

Gaara swiped to the next photo, which was of him and Naruto, both utterly shitfaced. The next item in his album was another video, shorter than the first.

“--dare you to go talk to him!” Naruto was egging Gaara on.

Gaara snickered, even his laughter filled with drunken slurring. “What--what should I say?”

“Tell him you think his eyebrows are sexy,” Naruto laughed.

Gaara swung the camera around so that it focused on Rock Lee over his shoulder.

“You have to come with me,” Gaara begged.

Gaara couldn’t take it anymore and he closed out of the video, his face awash with heat. He wondered if he’d ever actually told Rock Lee his eyebrows were sexy or if he’d done some other embarrassing thing in front of him.

Either way, he was amazed the man hadn’t abandoned him.

When he returned from the bathroom, Rock Lee had gathered up their dishes and was making the bed.

“Are you feeling all right?” he asked, looking up from his task.

“Yeah, I--” He stared at Rock Lee’s face and his thick eyebrows, embarrassment hot in his face. “I hope I didn’t say anything or do anything last night that was um...”

The smile Rock Lee sent his way was filled with fondness, which was strange given how little Gaara remembered from the night before.

“You do not need to worry. Even if you were a bit handsy,” he added, then blushed.

Gaara was mortified, but he couldn’t say he was surprised to by the admission based on what little he’d been able to bring himself to watch on his phone.

“I’m so sorry,” he managed, fighting to find his voice through embarrassment.

“Please do not worry! I did not mean to say that, I was just--I mean--it was fine! Honest! I understand you were drunk, and Naruto-kun probably put you up to it--”

“What? No! He didn’t--I mean, he encouraged me to talk to you because I thought you were cute--”

“Right, when you were drunk--”

“I think you’re cute now!” Gaara said quickly. “I’m just not... good at this stuff.”

A smile worked its way onto Rock Lee’s face, so wide it looked like it hurt. “Really? You--you actually think I am cute?”

Gaara shifted awkwardly. “Yeah, I mean, is that really so surprising?”

Rock Lee laughed. “For me, yes. Most people do not think I am cute.”

“Their loss.” 

“Do you,” Rock Lee began, then stopped, hesitating. “I hope this is not presumptuous of me, but would you want to grab dinner sometime?”

Gaara couldn’t quite believe his luck. He’d have to thank Naruto for foisting him off on Rock Lee, because if he hadn’t, there was no way Gaara would have worked up the nerve to have talked to the man.

“I’d love to,” he finally managed, a smile on his face.

Who knew waking up hungover could end so well?

#naruto #shippuden #rock lee #gaara #gaalee #uzumaki naruto #leegaa

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 9: Peid-a-Terre

Malcolm is bad at relationships. Also he needs a hug. And I don’t like Eve.

Here are my thoughts.

SPOILERS

1:25 - Malcolm holding the stuffed panda is upsetting and adorable. 

1:54 - Why does Gabrielle sound surprised here? Doesn’t she know that Malcolm is missing time? She’s know him since he was a kid. 

2:23 - hahaha Malcolm looks so confused when Gabrielle asks if he was aroused. 

3:30 - hahaha something about this music and Malcolm trying to flirt with people is freaking hilarious. 

4:25 - This scene. Ugh. First of all - look at how nervous Malcolm looks when he asks Eve out. How sweet is that?....also how much experience do you think Malcolm has dating? I’m really curious about when/if he dated as a teenager/college student and how that worked. SECONDLY, Eve. Ugh. I’ll be transparent. I don’t like her. Never have. BUT look at her reaction to Malcolm asking her out. She looks pleasantly surprised but almost in a “aww this guy is adorable but I’m so out of his league” kind of way? Is she actually attracted to him?!? Or just trying to get information from him? I can never quite tell. 

4:53 - Look at Malcolm’s face. He’s happy and shocked that she said yes. He genuinely looks so surprised that she said yes. Is his level of self-worth so low that he thinks no one would ever want to date him? The mere idea shatters my heart.

5:10 - You think Malcolm told Gil about Eve during this phone conversation? When the show cuts to the title screen? 

6:00 - I love this. Look how happy Malcolm is. He’s making jokes. Smiling. Ugh. He deserves to feel like this more often. 

6:49 - OMG. Hilarious but NOT appropriate Edrisa. hahaha Gil looks so exasperated. 

7:13 - Dani’s facial expression here is everything. Makes sense too. She probably loves JT like a brother. Hearing about your brother’s sex-life (even vague details) is nasty. Also. Loving that JT has been married for 7 years. That was a tidbit of information I didn’t know I wanted or needed. 

7:22 - I have so many questions about Edrisa’s life outside of work. Who is this woman? Where does one find cuddle parties?!? Also Gil, JT and Dani’s reactions to the cuddle party are everything. They’re just mildly surprised but they also have an air of “well, of course you did” about them.

7:41 - Another example of why Jessica needs some lady friends to talk to. She’s calling her son to vent about her personal problems. Don’t get me wrong - that’s not wrong necessarily but she clearly needs someone to talk to outside of her children. 

8:00 - That little comment is really interesting. What does Jessica tell people that Malcolm does when she isn’t forced to divulge his actual career? Or does she just not mention his career at all unless someone directly asks about it?

8:25 - Look at Gil here. He’s in total Dad mode. He wants Malcolm to talk to his mom. Listen to how soft his voice is and the concerned/desperate look that he gives Malcolm. It’s like wants to talk to his coparent about their kid’s trauma but he doesn’t want to be the one to break the news to Jessica. 

9:34 - This husband (David) immediately strikes me as weird. He’s almost too emotional at the scene. “Imagine if we had been here.” He’s overcompensating for something. And his wife - she looks scared. 

9:44 - How does Dani know that JT is good with kids?! I want a fic. Has JT had to interact with kids on other cases? Has a cop brought their kid into the precinct and JT hung out with the kid? I want details. The idea of JT with a kid is really cute and I feel robbed that we didn’t get to see him hang out with Molly during this episode.

10:10 - I love that Gil and Malcolm can have a completely silent conversation. Gil clearly understands that Malcolm is going to follow the wife and question her because she thinks that she’s acting suspicious. 

10:25 - Damn. Is this a rich person public washroom or an apartment washroom? 

11:08 - This club is cray cray. Seriously? Does this stuff really exist?!? I mean I’m sure it does? (FYI I’m a sexually repulsed asexual so all this sex stuff is genuinely mind boggling to me....and I’ve probably overshared.)

12:35 - Gonads?!? hahaha I love that Malcolm uses that term.

12:42 - hahaha JT. “I’m out”. I love how amused Malcolm looks here. It makes me wonder - is JT actually uncomfortable with this? JT says a lot of funny stuff around Malcolm. Is it because that’s just the way JT is? OR is it because JT is a good friend and wants Malcolm to smile and be happy more often? Even if it’s only for a few seconds?

13:03 - I love how blunt and clinical Edrisa is to all of this sex stuff. Gil’s reaction to her is perfect too. He’s clearly a little uncomfortable but he’s mostly just exasperated with Edrisa’s behaviour.

13:54 - This little conversation between Malcolm and JT is really great. Malcolm is clearly nervous about his date and nervous about asking JT for advice. We get to see a side of JT here that we really don’t get to see often. The articulate, kind, respectful man who has been happily married for 7 years. He gives Malcolm some genuinely good advice and you can see how much JT adores his wife when he talks about playing pool with her. It’s such a great Malcolm/JT bonding moment. 

14:55 - Huh. Did Malcolm pay the settlement personally? Was the lawsuit against the NYPD or Malcolm himself? I’m curious. I can see Malcolm feeling bad about it (even though it did save Nico’s life) and insisting on paying out of pocket. It’s kind of sweet (and creepy) that he’s keeping tabs on Nico. Look at Malcolm’s eyes in this scene. He’s looking a little manic and a lot desperate.

15:05 - ALSO JT’s surprised proclamation of pride for Nico is everything. I love this more personal side of JT that we see in this episode. It really makes his character a lot less 2D. 

16:06 - Are they drinking non-alcoholic beverages? JT definitely has a beer. Somehow I don’t think Gil would authorize drinking on the job, in the middle of a case. Also, why is Dani sitting with Gil as opposed to JT? It’s much more believable that Dani and JT are on a date than Gil and Dani (because - age).

16:43 - Gil looks soooo grossed out here. I don’t blame him. Listening to your kid talk about kinky sex is probably really awful. 

17:25 - Look at Malcolm’s face. He looks uncomfortable, a little scared even. He really doesn’t want to have sex with this lady. It makes me wonder if he’s someone who is only interested in having sex with a long-term partner - in which case I really wonder what his sex-life has been like. Also, look at the team. They are all clearly not excited about the prospect of listening to Malcolm have sex with this lady.

17:45 - Malcolm rolling his eyes at his phone conversation is cute. He’s comfortable enough with Dani and Gil to banter with them at his own expense. I wish he was that comfortable around more people.

18:45 - Look at Malcolm’s eyes. He’s scared. He’s doing his job but he’s definitely scared. Maybe not of this lady even - maybe he’s scared because this lady is reminding him that he might be expected to have sex with Eve and he’s not ready yet.

19:00 - Papa Gil is concerned. My heart is full.

19:45 - Again. I will ask. Where. Did. JT. Go? He was at the bar/restaurant place. He didn’t come to Bright’s place from the restaurant? Where did he go and what is he doing?!? 

19:50 - Gil and Malcolm share a look after she says “attempting to have consensual sex with another adult”. What does it mean? I can’t quite figure it out. It could mean that they’re frustrated with the way the conversation is going? It could also mean something else though? Something personal? Eh. I think I’m seeing what I want to see. It’s probably the first one. 

21:05 - Lust is easy. Love is dangerous. Huh. Is that some sort of message that the writers are trying to give us with regard to Malcolm and Eve? Or another couple on the show?

22:10 - It breaks my heart that Malcolm thinks that he’s not “Dad material”. He would be a great Dad because he knows what not to do. Also because he’s worked so hard to not be his father. And Gil has been a great role model for him. #GiveMalcolmKids

23:45 - Look at the way Malcolm looks at Molly. He looks sad. Concerned. Like he suspects that her life is about the change because he still thinks her father is guilty of something that will warrant jail time.

24:14 - Firstly, Jessica looks awesome in purple. But also, she’s a little too overbearing. Please let your adult son date alone. But I will give Jess credit here. She cares about Malcolm, she tries to comfort him after his hallucination. 

25:55 - This is kind of cute. Malcolm kind of made JT his personal safety net. Malcolm was freaked out about his date but he feel comfortable with JT so he crashed JT’s date to take some of the pressure off of him and Eve. Also can we all just take a moment to appreciate that JT looks more concerned with Malcolm’s nervous/manic behaviour than he does annoyed with Malcolm? 

26:04 - I instantly LOVE Tally. I love how forward and playful she is. I love how this conversation suggests that JT talks about Malcolm at home. hahaha I’d love to hear that dinner conversation. I wonder how he and Tally met?

27:02 - This is kind of sweet. The boys on one side of the table and the girls on the other. Look at how much fun JT seems to be having. He’s acting like Malcolm’s big brother. I love it. 

27:40 - Malcolm says “My Mother’s world” not “My world”. This suggests that Malcolm doesn’t consider himself to be rich. Or at least he doesn’t consider himself to be immersed in the world of aristocracy.

28:05 - Eve looks impressed with Malcolm here. Malcolm looks interested in what he’s profiling. Almost as though he hadn’t profiled her at all until he started doing it audibly. 

29:00 - I love JT’s quiet “Bright” here. He’s desperately trying to save Malcolm from himself and Tally looks so sad that she messed up Malcolm’s date. 

30:30 - Malcolm really does have an uncomfortable amount of knowledge about prescription drugs. I don’t think that was part of his FBI training or his college degree. Maybe because he’s been on so many different drugs? 

33:35 - Dang. Malcolm’s eyes look sad in this scene. 

36:20 - Have you noticed how desperate and sad Malcolm looks every time he talks to the case’s killer? He always ends the conversation telling time something along the lines of “you aren’t like this” almost like he’s convincing himself that they aren’t broken. That they aren’t killers. 

38:22 - I love these little pow-wows about Malcolm between Jessica and Gil. You can see how much they both adore Malcolm.

39:00 - Gil is such a sweet guy. Look at the way he comforts Jessica. The look on Jessica’s face when he put her hands on her shoulders. This is clearly the first time Gil has ever initiated physical contact with her. She’s surprised but not unhappy. Look at the way she clings to his hug. I’m telling you - this woman needs some more friends. Also - I’m totally shipping Jessica/Gil. This just fuels my soul.

40:06 - This is why I love Malcolm. Check out how mature he is. Apologizing sincerely to Eve. Also - another reason I had initial doubts about Eve. Why did she come to Malcolm’s place after that disaster of a date? Why did she have sex with him the same night? Why. Why. Why.  

42:22 - Ok. So Tom Payne’s torso is attractive. And that hallucination is terrifying. 

43:00 - Malcolm’s eyes after he wakes up holding the knife. He is ashamed. He is heartbroken. He is sad. He is resigned. He knows he just screwed things up. It confirms his belief that he doesn’t deserve to have a romantic relationship - he’s too dangerous. It breaks my heart. I really hope Malcolm called Gil after Eve left. Gil would be able to help him. 

As always, thanks for hanging out. Hope you’re all having a good day. 

#prodigal son #jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #whitly #ainsley whitly #jessica whitly #martin whitly #gil arroyo #jt tarmel #edrisa tanaka #dani powell #this show is almost perfect #i love this show #whump #malcolm needs a hug #so good #rewatch #spoilers #ps #peid-a-terre #e:9 #1x9 #s1

[veilder]

Castlevania Season 3 was insane and in this essay I will--

Okay, I’ve never made a post on this website before, but here I go cuz Castlevania Season 3 has me just that fucked up. (Everything here is my own opinion, fyi.)

***SPOILER WARNING FROM HERE ON!!***

Okay, so yeah, that was a wild fuckin ride, wasn’t it? First off, while I did very much enjoy this season and I still love the show as a whole very much, this whole thing felt a lot like a setup season. It was a lot of maneuvering the characters into certain places and roles and it was a lot more focused on their emotional development (or regression, yikes!) than it was on a central plot like the first two seasons were. In those, all three mains had a singular goal: destroy Dracula. But now? Well, we’re left in the aftermath. I feel like this season was certainly necessary for where the show seems to want to take things, but yeah, I think I didn’t love it quite as much as the first two. And I think a lot of that stems from just how fractured the main party is. And I’m not just talking about Trevor, Sypha and Alucard, either, even though I consider them the main focal point. Because, building up off of season 2, I would absolutely consider both Hector and Isaac as main characters in this show as well. But after the final confrontation of last season, all of them (save Trevor and Sypha) are scattered. And while they certainly still seem to impact each other somewhat, they never actually... y’know, meet in this season. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore Trevor and Sypha’s dynamic and I think they are #RelationshipGoals, but you can certainly feel the absence of Alucard in their scenes. Hell, Trevor remarks on that himself at one point, about how they just... left him behind. About how lonely he must be, shut up all alone in his father’s mausoleum, taking on the duty to protect it because he’s the only one who can... There was a scene in one of the middle episodes (forgive me, I did not mark down which) where Trevor encounters a fox in the forest. And there is a prominent cut to the creature’s golden eyes. And Trevor smiles at it. It just makes me think that he, at least, has been thinking about their wayward companion in his downtime. I’m glad that the showrunners took the time to make sure we all could see that consideration, even in small moments like this, because it really didn’t sit well with me, how they left him all alone at the end of season 2. It’s nice to know that at least Trevor is thinking about him and it makes me hope that we will actually get these three back together in season 4. And along those lines, I think it was very interesting, how ultimately, Isaac’s whole goal in this season was to reach Hector. Literally, that’s all he is doing for all 10 episodes, just travelling across continents to find the man who betrayed Dracula... and to make him pay. But damn if I didn’t absolutely love all of his scenes, too? Isaac has really risen to prominence for me with this season. I could never quite get behind him in season 2, but here? I daresay that he might’ve been my favorite part of this season. All of his interactions, with the old collector man, with the Captain, with the FlysEyes, with Miranda, they were all so varied and philosophical. I really loved how the show delved into such heavy topics with him and fleshed out his personality a bit more. Special shoutout to the Captain who was, imo, absolutely amazing. I honestly hope they meet again, I loved their dynamic so much. But even so, he’s always still focused on Hector. Always moving towards Hector. I like that their story continues to play out from where it left off in season 2, with their fates interwoven like this. I do hope that we’ll get to see a confrontation between them eventually, but God, it would be very unsatisfying right now with Hector’s current situation. Which... Jesus, he is in dire straights, isn’t he? I honestly felt so bad for him throughout this entire season. He has been abused and manipulated so horribly through this whole thing. And yes, maybe he came across as a little naive and, well... dumb for trusting Lenore, but... Honestly, with the way he’s been suffering? Clinging onto those few scraps of kindness she throws him is really his only salvation. He has nothing, literally nothing, not even clothes, when the season begins. He’s been travelling with Carmilla for a month and then is immediately thrown in prison when they finally reach Styria. And God, despite all of that, he still has the gumption to try and attack Lenore at first. To try and trick her into a vulnerable position when vulnerability is his new MO. I was proud of him for trying, for keeping that spirit alive within himself despite his horrible circumstances. And watching as Lenore manipulated him further and further was just... so horrible. Honestly, she probably didn’t even need the slave ring at the end. Hector was so desperate for any sort of love and validation that he almost certainly would’ve happily crafted their legions just to make her happy. He has such a soft soul and it’s always being taken advantage of. His story arc was so fuckin sad and I really need better things for him going forward. And speaking of characters who deserve better... Omg, what did they do to Alucard? Seriously, his entire story arc this season was just... highlighting how devastatingly lonely he is and how he’s not coping very well at all with the aftermath of season 2. And I understand, everything that went down last season and everything he was forced to do, it broke him so completely. He hasn’t really... moved on at all from where we last saw him, weeping his heart out for the family he lost. So what does this show do for him? It lets us think he might be able to find a new family, to find happiness... and then it yanks that away from us in the absolutely worst way. Sumi and Taka had a lot of promise. Their backstories, as slaves for an ancient, powerful Japanese vampire, that was very cool. Their quest to find a mentor, someone to teach them the skills they needed to help liberate their home from the hold these vampires have over them, that is a noble goal. And Alucard sees that in them. He sees their potential to do good. I think he honestly sees a little bit of Trevor and Sypha in them, in the way they want to help, to fight against evil, to better the world. And I think they also... give him someone to cling to. Just someone at all to speak with, to share his day with, to be around? He is so lonely, so hurt, grieving and empty and wishing he wasn’t. They offered him a small glimpse of what happiness could look like. And he took it with both hands. He wanted them there and he wanted to help them and God, even when they have him at their mercy and are trying to kill him, he never condemns them. He still sees the good inside of them. And I wonder if he ignores the brokenness inside of them, too, because it’s a mirror to his own? Either way, the whole story arc was absolutely heartbreaking and it kills me to see Alucard so absolutely crushed by the events of his life. He does not deserve this. And I... really need Trevor and Sypha to come back for him. I think he really needs them, now more than ever. The characters are really who I wanted to talk about, y’know? Yes, I love all the plot setup happening; the Cult of Dracula was unsettling and terrifying; Saint Germain and the Infinite Corridor were honestly spectacular? How did they pull that off so convincingly?; Carmilla, Striga, Morana and Lenore were strangely entertaining for me, even though I very much despised the way Carmilla and Lenore in particular treated Hector. They were a weirdly amusing, kickass lady squad and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of them. (Which I most certainly will); Isaac and his growing horde coming for Styria is bound to be amazing!; I’m assuming that Trevor and Sypha will continue learning more about the Cult as the next season goes and will (hopefully!) get Alucard back with them at some point! (God, he needs his friends so much. >_<) I just... There was so much packed into this season and I overall enjoyed it very much. Special shoutout to the absolutely amazing artwork because holy shit! Some of those still were breathtaking! And while some of the fight scenes I thought were a tad... worse than in previous seasons, some of them were real standouts, too! So yeah, I had a lot of thoughts about this! And I really needed to share them! Looking forward to what comes next! ~Veil P.S. Y’all don’t even know how desperately I want “The Pirate of the Roads” to be Grant Danasty. XD (Will he ever show up? Fingers crossed!)

#castlevania #netflix #season 3 spoilers #wtf? #review

[theladylovingcrow]

New Places, Friendly Faces Part 3 (Sanny)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @theladylovingcrow - writing/art Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Sam Kiszka/Danny Wagner (Sanny), lil bit of Danny/Ronnie but he's quickly swept away with Sam

Length: about 2.3k

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe, Diner AU, No band AU, fluff, some angst, awkwardness, first dates, you know the ones where person A's date is failing and person B comes and sits with them, sorry i forgot what its called but that, hand holding, flirting, Sanny

Summary: Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for *weeks* to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

Author's Notes: Yep! I've officially adopted an every Monday post schedule for this, so that's cool! Just an fyi about the ending of this chapter, I'm so sorry to disappoint of you're hoping for a magical portal but that's not it (that wpuld have been cool but this is a mundane story)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

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"Right... well, I'm officially off duty once I ring you up, so why don't you two get out of here and have some fun."

Danny fished into his pocket one handed, finding his wallet. He tried to open it and get a ten out while still holding on to Sam, but it was pretty difficult so he was forced to let go in order to pay. He thought it was a little overly dramatic of his heart, but it literally stopped beating out of disappointment for a second. God. He was already completely whipped.

Sam stood up and grabbed the keys, going back to his other table to put on his coat while Danny got his change back from Ronnie. She, now sitting at the table with her other brothers, waved them goodbye as they exited the cozy diner, stepping out into the frigid snow.

Sam immediately grabbed Danny's hand back, putting both of them in his pocket as he started to walk around the back of the building to the employee's section of the parking lot.

Sam suddenly stopped, turning to look at Danny. "Shit, wait, how did you come here? Do you have a car?"

"Uhh, my mom dropped me off."

Sam nodded and kept walking. Danny, for some reason, didn't want to leave it at that - Sam didn't seem overly judgemental, but he wanted to show that he wasn't a completely helpless dork.

"Usually I get her car on the weekends," he continued, "but she had some thing to attend over in North Star and she couldn't get a ride. She brought me here and gave me money for the bus to take home."

"Hey, well, now you don't have to take the bus!"

Sam grinned at him, unlocking the door to his sister's car and opening it for Danny. He smiled to himself and ducked his head, getting in. Fuck whatever societal expectations - not like they really applied to gay couples anyways - he loved to be treated sweetly, too.

Starting the ignition and carefully backing out of the parking space, Sam laughed, loud and happy. Danny looked at him curiously.

"Oh my god, I just picked up a total hottie and we're going on a rendezvous in my sister's car! This is crazy!"

Danny laughed, too, amazed at the situation. Like, holy shit, he was in this guy's (sister's) car that he had met less than an hour ago and they were on their way to who knew where. And he didn't even care! Never in his life had Danny been less concerned about the future; his music, his golfing, school, the world at large, none of it mattered when Sam was sitting next to him, singing along to Jimi Hendrix and looking absolutely stunning in the passing lamplight.

They drove for a time, speeding past cozy houses and dense acres of trees that outlined the starlit sky. Sam didn't seem to have a destination in mind any time soon, and Danny didn't really care if the car never stopped driving. The radio started to fuzz out as the got further into the woods, and nothing but an old talk show was coming in, so Sam had Danny put in his Clapton CD he'd left in Ronnie's car.

"I was looking for that! Figured I'd left it in here, but I don't get the car as often now that she's working more."

Danny nodded, enjoying hearing these little bits about Sam's siblings. It always interested him - learning small facts about people and getting glimpses into their lives, even more so when he was very interested in that person themselves, too.

"So, Ronnie is older than you, right?"

"Yeah, yeah she's a year older than me, she just started taking some classes at the adult school in Saginaw. She's been working at Gerald's for awhile, but she gets adult hours, now, which is good because we like to stay out late and go see her," Sam laughed.

"Oh, that's cool. What about your brothers, the twins? Are they your only other siblings?"

"Yes, fortunately. I don't know how Mom and Dad handled us, we're all within three years of each other. What about you, are you an only child?"

Danny had been right, they were all close in age. Four kids, two of them twins! He still couldn't wrap his head around how that could possibly work out for the parents, but they all seemed to be nice people and clearly got along well. It was pretty nice, actually, having a (potential) boyfriend with a good relationship with his family - Danny knew that it might of been a slightly unfair dating requirement, but he wanted someone who loved their family as much as he did.

"I have a younger sister, she's a freshman at Frankenmuth High. I'm a senior, by the way."

"Wait, what? Me too! I wonder why I've never seen you if we go to the same school. How have I never noticed you before?" Sam exclaimed, making a sharp turn and pulling off of the paved road onto a dirt track.

Danny contemplated that, too. How one Earth had he never seen Sam if they went to the same fucking school? Sam was, like, *magnetic* or something, it didn't make any sense.

Sam interrupted him, not meaning to, as he was about to speak. "Alright, we're here. Sorry, continue," he grinned at Danny, looking sheepish at cutting him off. Danny smiled in return, telling him it was alright.

They got out of the car, shutting the doors gently so as not to disturb the peaceful nighttime forest, and also not to dent Ronnie's car.

Danny resumed what he was saying as Sam led him around to the trunk and started rooting around. "About not seeing me at school, well, you didn't have a reason to until now. I mean, it's not like a lot of people know me, I don't have many friends and I kinda tend to stay to the side."

"I can't imagine how you don't have tons of people hanging off of you," Sam said, looking up at Danny with his foxy eyes glinting in the moonlight. (That was cheesy, Danny knew - but his eyes were beautiful) "Like, the only explanation I can come up with as to why you don't have half of the school constantly begging you to notice *them* is because everyone is crazy."

He blushed and grinned, enjoying the feeling of being the one flirted with for once. It was beyond comprehensible for Danny as to why Sam seemed so taken by *him*, but it wasn't something he wanted to give up anytime soon if he could help it, confusion or not.

"Wow, you are a smooth talker, aren't you?"

Sam snorted. "Hardly. I'm telling you what I honestly think, and it's this: I've known you for maybe two hours, and you are the kindest, sweetest, smartest, most beautiful person I've ever met. Past maybe my mother, but that's different. You deserve all the friends in the world, and you could have any boy or girl you choose, I'm sure."

"Well, I'm choosing you," Danny said, blushing and grabbing Sam's hand. He didn't know what it was, but he was being particularly mushy today. Luckily, Sam seemed to really like it.

Sam led him away from the car after locking it up, one arm carrying a briefcase looking container, and the other's hand holding Danny's. They walked through the light snowfall and under heavy bows of trees, going along a path Danny couldn't see but that, apparently, Sam knew well.

Danny had the quick thought that Sam was going to murder him, and maybe he shouldn't ignore his survival instincts, but he decided that Sam would *never* kill him. He also asked, though, just to be sure.

"Are you planning on killing me out here?"

Sam laughed his donkey bray, swinging their hands and taking another slight turn around a large tree. "No, I don't think I'd be able to physically overpower you, you're probably way stronger than I am."

"Oh, yeah? But what about a gun? What's in the box, Sammy?"

Danny was grinning inside, though externally he blocked it so that his facade wouldn't slip. Sam stopped and stood in front of him.

"I'll show you what's in the box!" Sam said, holding it up in front of his crotch like that SNL sketch.

"Ooh, my favorite!" Danny wiggled his brows, staring at the box where, right behind it, was Sam's dick. They both laughed, faces rosy and eyes crinkled.

Danny was glad that he had chosen Sam over Ronnie, not only for the fact that Sam actually liked him back, but that he got along so well with him. Even if the romance was a bust, he could tell that they would be very good friends, the connection was that immediate. And, he liked the idea of being best friends with a guy and then also getting to fuck his brains out at the end of the day.

'I'm getting ahead of myself, he said he has standards.'

'*No*, he said that he won't fuck you in his sister's car, but he wants to.'

"Sam, dude, where are we going? What are we doing out here, like, really?" He choked out, dying to know and also hoping that the plans included at least a kiss.

Danny hadn't been this desperate to kiss someone in- possibly forever, really. He didn't know why he was so intent on getting Sam's lips on him (though, he supposed he did: like, *look* at Sam's mouth). It wasn't like himself to be this out of control - albeit on his own head - but Sam had this effect on him.

Logically, Danny knew that if Sam wanted to go slower he would totally respect that choice and not even be put out about it, he liked just being with Sam that much. But, a kiss.... He wanted just a taste, in case this was the only date he got to have with Sam.

"We're almost there, and then I'll show you," Sam said quietly.

They continued walking, going up a gentle slope and then around a giant boulder. When they came around the other side, Danny saw that the rock had been obscuring a pristinely white, snow covered clearing. All around them, flakes fell softly from the sky, some decorating the trees, and others landing on their heads.

Sam turned to look at him, grinning. "Isn't it pretty? I feel like, whenever I come here, I've entered another dimension or something."

Danny nodded, his breath nearly taken away by the delicate magic of the moment. Well, it wasn't completely perfect - his nose was running, his gloveless hands were both freezing and clammy in Sam's, and he had no fucking clue where he was - but Sam was so, so beautiful in this place he had brought them to.

They stood and stared at the scene, taking in everything, from the stars peaking out from in between the clouds to the feel of their thumbs rubbing back and forth over each other's knuckles.

After a few minutes of silence, Sam broke it, speaking softly, "This is one of my favorite places on Earth to be. We come here during all seasons, but there's just something more.... *special*, I guess, when everything is pure and damp and quiet."

"It's really nice, I can see why you like to bring people here."

"Actually," Sam paused, looking shyly at Danny, "I've never taken anyone else. As far as I can tell, my family are the only people who know about it."

"Really? I- thank you so much for bringing me to such a special spot for you," he gasped, grinning back at Sam's little smile.

Danny was floored, absolutely amazed with this moment in his life. Sam had, for reasons he couldn't understand but figured he'd better stop worrying about, taken him to a place that no one else had been to. It was an intimate, deeply trusting gesture that he'd made, and Danny received it full-heartedly. The scenery felt sacred, now, in a way that he couldn't quite describe but that filled him with content.

"This really does mean a lot, that you're letting me view your spot. I don't know how to say thank you enough for trusting me with this- can I, maybe, take you somewhere special to me next time?"

He was shooting his shot, and praying to whatever deity felt nearest in this winter forest that it would hit it's mark. Sam had decided to take him here right after meeting him, so it *would* work, right? Danny really fucking hoped that it did, and that he hadn't ruined the relationship they were building. It was newly born and a little confusing, but in a good way; they were already fused together somehow, a connection running through them to make it seem like they'd known each other for years instead if hours.

"I'll go anywhere you wanna take me," Sam answered. He looked aware of how cliche what hed said was, but he also didnt seem to care. Damny was internally screaming with joy. "I wasn't sure where I was driving, at first, but I ended up on the path here, and it felt right. You being here feels nice and right."

Danny was smiling openly, happiness on display. He swung their hands and looked up at the sky, where the snow clouds where starting to clear, the last of the flakes finishing their journey to the ground. Sam leaned into him slightly, a pleasurable warmth permeating into Danny's body through the many layers of their clothing.

"This is perfect! I was hoping the clouds would clear up, cause this wouldnt really be much fun without it. Now, c'mon, let me show you the inside."

Danny was completely confused, again. "The inside?"

-----------

@satans-helper @okietrish @karrotkate @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @ryetheruler @oblvions @bigthighsandstupidguys @mountainofthesunn

#sanny #in sanny we stan #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #lulucrowproductions #samxdanny #sam gvf #danny gvf #danny wagner #sam kiszka #gvf #greta van fleet #gvf fic #gvf slash #greta van fic #greta van slash #slash fiction #fluff #kissing #cute

[missweber]

@lardo-week

For Day 6 of Lardo Week - Friends and Lovers

(Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5)

(FYI, I’ll start posting these to AO3 tomorrow after I get the last chapter up tomorrow and give everything a good scrubbing for lurking typos and the like)

the practical thing to do

It wasn't that Lardo wasn't earning money. She had two decent part-time jobs and had even picked up a couple of freelance assignments. 

One of the freelance assignments (painting the risers of a staircase in an old house-turned-bookstore to resemble shelves of children's books) had been fun and had paid fairly well, but it hadn't led to any nibbles from potential patrons.

She had time, she reminded herself. There was nothing wrong with working part-time for a gallery and for a local youth hockey organization. There was nothing wrong with creating some stability for herself.

But something was wrong.

"Can I vent?" She had timed her question for when Ransom and Holster were home and Shitty was at an evening seminar. As for She-Who-Would-Not-Be-Named, Lardo didn't really give a shit if she was home or not.

"Lay it on us, so we may ease your troubled mind," Holster intoned, affecting an air of wisdom and concern. Ransom didn't say anything, but he closed his laptop and put it aside so he could pay full attention.

Wanting to vent didn't mean knowing what to say. Instead, she just plopped herself down on the couch right between them. There wasn't quite enough room, but they made it work.

"I feel like a fucking parasite," she said at last.

The chorus of no no no! and we're fine with how things are divvied up, honest! weren't as comforting as they were meant to be.

"I'm venting, okay? That means you gotta let me vent! Don't..." She took a deep breath. "Don't just tell me not to worry, okay?"

Part of her could hear Shitty explaining how being told not to worry was sometimes the same as 'go away and don't bother me with your pesky emotions,' and that, she found comforting.

"My bad," Holster said. 

Ransom pulled her into a side hug. "Sorry about that, Lards. Go ahead. Why are you comparing yourself to a tapeworm?"

"Gross, dude," she and Holster said in perfect unison, and that led to a giggle fit that totally killed the mood.

"Now I'm not feeling ranty. I'm just going to whine instead."

"Would you like some wine with that wine?" Holster asked in a horrible faux-British accent.

"Oh, hell yes!"

The occasion apparently called for a bottle of good wine that had been 'liberated' from Shitty's grandparents, and the novelty wine glasses. Lardo noted that her glass said 'Wine is cheaper than therapy' and tried not to read too much into it. After all, Ransom's said 'I just can't adult today' and Holster's glass proclaimed that he was 'Sotally Tober.'

"So anyway, I feel like a total mooch. I know you guys say it doesn't bother you that I'm paying a smaller share of rent than you are, but it still bugs me. I feel... I feel kept."

"Does it help if we tell you we don't think of it that way at all?" Ransom asked gently.

She shrugged. "In theory."

Shitty, Ransom, and Holster had each told her over and over and over they didn't mind paying bigger shares of the rent. They all either had or made enough money to cover it, and how the hell was Lardo supposed to do art on the side if she didn't have the time or energy to do art?

"We've got your back, bro," Holster said as if that explained everything.

She knew it should. She wished it did.

"Did anything in particular stir this up?" Ransom asked. His eyes narrowed. "Shitty's dad didn't say anything again, did he? Or Claire?"

Holster shushed him, and cast furtive looks at the hallway. "Don't say her name! She'll know we're talking about her!"

Ransom leaned in close and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I know I always said I was team attic, but if the person who's hiding in the attic is you-know-who? Then fuck it. I'm changing my answer."

"Dude," Holster said solemnly. "What if she's actually a thousand roaches in a trench coat?"

"Huh. That actually makes a lot of sense."

Watching their back and forth helped more than their concern. "No one said anything, guys." Well, George had said something in an email, but not in the way the guys meant it. "Just some job stuff came up today that... well, it stirred some shit up."

The point of having a job was to earn a living. Yes, you should do something you liked to do, but you needed to be practical about it. Lardo's parents had never been poor, but for as long as she could remember, they always had to be mindful. She had never gone hungry, but her mother and her bà ngoại had.

They had always encouraged and celebrated her artwork, but they had also been very clear that she was expected to get a real job.

There had also been sly hints about how finding a husband with a real job was a possible alternative, but she forced the thought from her mind because while a wine hangover was bad, a rage hangover was even worse.

The three of them killed off a bottle and a half of wine. It was weaksauce compared to their kegster days, but while Lardo had gone to several classes hungover and still in her pajamas, she didn't think that would fly at the Newbury Street gallery where she worked.

Where she worked for now, at least.

"I'm done guys," she said with a yawn that was only a little exaggerated. "Thanks for letting me dump on you. And don't say it's no problem or anything stupid like that."

She really hoped Shitty got home soon. Now that she had vented, she actually wanted to talk.

It was good to crawl into bed. It was only half-made, as usual, but Duckie and Mr. Steggy were in their proper places as they should be. She smiled, remembering how Shitty had literally squeed with delight when she first introduced him to her childhood plushie.

She hugged both stuffed animals to her and fell asleep.

She was woken up what felt like just a minute later when a naked Shitty tried to pry Mr. Steggy out of her grasp.

"You're hogging the cuddle-buddies," he whispered.

"You snooze, you lose."

"Excuse you, but I was not the one snoozing, Ms. Duan."

She laughed and let Shitty take the plush stegosaurus. He slid into bed and snuggled close. She leaned in and kissed him deep, curling one hand around the back of his head so she could play with his hair. God, she was so glad he was growing it out again.

He ran his fingers down the curve of her waist and up the rise of her hip, but it was an inquiry rather than a request. She kissed him again, then pulled back. "Just this," she said. "And can I talk to you about something?"

She felt him tense defensively but then relax. The first had been automatic, the second, deliberate. "Okay?"

"First of all, yes, there is some money shit tied up in all of this, so I need to know it's okay to talk about money. Otherwise, this is going to be frustrating as hell."

It said something that all he did was nod in agreement. They had figured out quickly that their difference in background made financial discussions a big-ass mine field. They'd had a rough start, but now they used safe words more when talking about money than they did when having sex. 

Lardo thought more couples should follow their example.

"I got a solid lead on a job today."

His face lit up. "What! That's–"

She covered his mouth with her hand. "Let me finish, okay? And if you lick my hand, I will pluck your mustache out hair by hair. Nod if you understand."

He nodded. She removed her hand.

"Here's the problem. If I take this job, I'll have to quit the gallery job and cut back my time with the Rockets. Maybe even quit."

"Okay," he said. She could tell he had a question, but was holding it. For now.

"Starting out, it would mean less money. Not a lot less, but..." But it had been enough to trigger a crisis that required copious amounts of wine to solve. "And the commute would suck."

"Okay." 

He wanted to say he would fix it, that he would make up the difference. She could see it. But he stayed quiet, and she loved him all the more for it.

"But that would only be at first. Part of what I'd be doing is training to take on someone else's job when he retires next year. And it would be decent money. I...”

She let go.

“I thought that wasn't important to me! I know I'm worth more than the money I make! I know my art is damned good art even if it takes me forever to get to where I can do it full time! So what's wrong with me that I'm ready to throw away an art gallery job—a fucking Newbury Street gallery job!—so I can make more money a whole year from now!"

Shitty actually raised his hand sheepishly, as if he was a student in her class. "Um, so what is this job, anyway?"

That was enough to get her to laugh, and laughing gave her an excuse to wipe away the tears that had started to well. "Details, details... Yeah. George Martin said she's got an opening for an assistant equipment manager-slash-logistics person."

"George Martin? As in Jack's George? Falcs George?" Shitty's eyes were wide. "Holy guacamole doesn't even begin to cover it. So, what are you thinking?"

"In a lot of ways, it makes sense to keep the gallery job. No, it's not my kind of art." Honestly, it was more the sort of thing she imagined hanging in Shitty's grandparent's house. "But it's good experience to see that side of things for when I start selling my own things. And then there's the networking. It would be the practical thing to–"

She stopped, listening to what she was about to say, and hearing the echo of her mother's voice.

"Lards?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you still have time to do your art? If you take this other job?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. I don't see why not."

Shitty reached out and took her hand. He rubbed his thumb up and down her wrist, stroking and soothing. "When you said you would have to quit your gallery job and maybe not work as much with the kiddos on the Rockets, I almost said something."

She nodded. She had caught that.

"What I almost said was that you sounded more upset about cutting back your work with the kids than you did about quitting the gallery completely."

"Holy shit," she whispered. It was as if someone had pulled aside the curtain hiding Oz the Great and Terrible. 

She didn't like the gallery. She liked the idea of the gallery. She liked that even after she had decided that the world wouldn't end if she didn't get a job in the arts right away, this opportunity dropped in her lap. She liked what she had been learning from her boss and the new appreciation she had for mid-century American art.

What she didn't like was dressing up like she worked in a law office. She didn't like the way some buyers treated paintings like investment properties. She didn't like being a salesperson/hostess.

And she really didn't like how many clients reminded her of Shitty's grandparents.

But she loved her hockey kids.

"You're right. But..."

"But?"

She gently plucked Mr. Steggy from Shitty's grasp and set him on the nightstand. Duckie followed a second later, and Lardo wriggled as close to Shitty as she could. "But you've given me a lot to think about." She tilted her head so she could kiss his chin. "G'night." 

There was no need to make a decision just then, even though she was pretty sure what it would be. There were just a few things she had to think through, first. 

She felt like something big had shifted, or was about to shift, and that the future was going to be something she had never imagined. But that was okay.

She had Shitty. And in a different way, she had Ransom and Holster, and Jack and Bitty. 

And, as Holster had said, they had her back.

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #lardo duan #my fic

[wildcardwriting]

How Social Media Infected the Glory Pro Circle #1

(or Conversations Most of the Glory Pro Community Would Like to Forget Existed) 

[King’s Avatar /全职高手 - 蝴蝶蓝 | Quánzhí Gāoshǒu - Húdié Lán ]

Next Chapter |  Read on AO3

Summary: Or Ye Xiu is forced to deal with his fans. No one saw what was coming next.Because the alliance wants more exposure (i.e. fame) for the pro gamers, all pros are mandated to respond to questions from the fans.Naturally, this leads to some...strange conversations and some stranger answers. Likely will lead into AU TKA UniversePart Story, and TKA fun. Will include some social media.

XXxxxxxXX

Chapter #1: When Reddit Happens

XXxxxxxXX

Congratulations all! Due to the huge popularity and demand, the alliance is opening a Reddit forum to allow fans to ask their favorite pros questions.

*Note: All pros will be listed with the following style; Team Name/Name

As a reminder, all submitters must abide by the rules. Any inappropriate questions will be removed, and the users will be punished.

Edit #1: Silver Equipment Questions can be directed to a separate AMA here.

Edit #2: Theories and Analysis of Current and Past Matches can be found here.

Edit #3: Everything about the Rare and Mysterious Ye Qiu is on this thread.

New! AMA Ye Qiu Thread, click here.

LastManStanding4all:

What games did you play professionally and how much "training" was required before you were ready for tournament play?

Top Answer (Star) Upvoted 689

Exellent Era (Xue Mingkai): I played plenty of games, but I started really getting serious around the time Glory came out. I played about 4-8 hours a day until I thought I was good enough to start going to tournaments but, it took a few months for me to get good enough to do well at the tournaments.

See all 20+ Pro replies  2.1k Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

Prettyspiteful:

How common is it for a somewhat weaker gamer to beat a stronger one? Is it like baseball where even the Royals will often beat the Yankees, or more like chess where a 1400-rated player will NEVER beat a 1,700.

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 894

Tiny Herb (Wang Jiexi): Pretty uncommon. This can vary a lot from game to game but, generally speaking the games and settings are selected to be as skill based as possible with very few random factors. So big upsets can happen but, whenever they do happen they are usually a fairly big deal within that games community.

See all 5+ Pro replies  1.0k Comments Share Save Hide Report  

Newbie2Glory:

Is there one guy who's generally acknowledged as the best all-around pro gamer?

Top Answer: (Mega Star) Upvoted 12k+

Excellent Era (Wu Xuefeng): Captain is generally considered the best player. He is known as the Glory Textbook for his skill and knowledge of all classes, inventing moves, and creating tactics. If you would like to learn or are interested in playing Glory, here are a few of his guides.

*Note: Excellent Era will be uploading the Complete Beginners Guide to Glory By: Ye Qui on their team's website.

See all 30+ Pro replies  10.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

Lols4Life:

What's the longest playing session you've ever put in? Do you ever go to bed and see game images dancing in your brain?

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 1.4k

Excellent Era (Yin Xiong): I would guess about 8-10 hours, although that would be with a couple breaks in there for food and such. Also, yes, the game images in my mind before going to bed does happen. Constantly. But its better than laps with Xue Mingkai, or dodge practice with Ye Qiu.

     AllergictoSecrets:  What does that last part even mean? More info, please?  Upvoted 5k+

              Excellent Era (Xue Mingkai): Way to out me. Expect more laps Nurse. And fyi YQ is the one who orginally made me run laps. Upvoted 5k+

                      K.Lin: I have so many questions. Upvoted 3.4k+

                            Dazzling Blossoms (Sun Zheping): YQ running laps? I call lie! YQ doesn't do excerise. If he needs to get anywhere he'll just push himself in his computer chair. Upvoted 250+

                               Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): I have to wonder if this is the reason why WXF crushed you so badly in our last fight. YQ doesn't read anything online but vice-cap does and he knows within seconds of someone insulting YQ. Upvoted 1.2k+

See all 16+ Pro replies  37.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

Ye Who Shall Not Be Named:

Isn't there a little part of you who misses the days when controllers were no more than A / B + directional arrows? I gave up on videogames once they added 15 different buttons + a rumbling gyroscope or whatever that thing is.

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 3.0k

Jade Dynesty (Lin Yi): All the time. Except I don't think I could take it if we were still playing using the old controllers and YQ still managed to beat me.

  Blue Rain (Fang Shijing): Why do all these answers always seem to mention YQ. That guy gets enough attention! Upvoted 1.02k+

    [deleted] Windward Formation comment was removed for cursing.

     See all 19+ Pro replies  3.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report

Taking_Notes:

How do gamers get sponsors?

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 1.03k

      Hundred Blossoms (Zhang Jiale): Oh boy, I guess I'll answer this question since no one else has. There are a few methods, I'll list the ones I've seen work but there are probably more I don't know about... [click to see rest of comment]

         Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): In the words of captain, 'too bothersome'. Upvoted 987+

              Jade Dynesty (Lin Yi): And yet there are still calls for him to do adversting... Upvoted 1.01k

See all 14+ Pro replies  1.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report

SnowDancer:

Can you tell us any interesting facts about pros that aren't really known? (I'm asking about cute stories, or generally facts, I don't want anything too big.)

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 15.03k+

Excellent Era (Xue Mingkai): Captain Ye's eyes in pictures. Apparently that actually happens.

 Excellent Era (Wu Xuefeng): His love of waffle fries. Upvoted 4.31k+

   Excellent Era (Xie Ming): His fashion sense. Upvoted 3.54 k+

      Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): Is that why you dragged him and Dancing Rain shopping? Upvoted 5.62k+

         Excellent Era (Xie Ming): Obivously. Though I cannot say whether it worked. Upvoted 6.32k+

              Wild_Fighter: I love how this turned into EE facts.

See all 28+ Pro replies  54.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report  Continue to thread->

AskingtheRealQuestions:

I've seen all the pros answer a question at least once,but I've never seen YQ. Is he ever going to answer anything?

Top Answer: (Star) Upvoted 18.31k+

Excellent Era (Yin Xiong): Someone finally noticed.

  Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): Depends if we can unearth him from his gaming chair Glory. Upvoted 5.02 k+

     Excellent Era (Xie Ming): Captain Ye is very hard working. Upvoted 2.31k+

       Excellent Era (Wu Xuefeng): And apparently all knowing because he says to go practice. Upvoted 6.32k+

          Excellent Era (Qin Tianran): %#$%#%#$%#$ Going! I'm going!

              FindinGsOMEAnswers: WXF is team dad, and I ever knew I needed this fact in my life.

Game Master [NM MegaSound]: Due to a huge amount of emails and requests YQ will have his own AMA on this thread.]

Excellent Era (Xue Mingkai) I think I speak for everyone when I say finally. Upvoted 25.49k+

XXxxxxXX

Ye Xiu sighed as he was pushed into learning about Reddit. Ever since the Alliance had managed to gain popularity during its second season, there was a greater focus on advertising that he couldn't quite understand. Pro Gamers, usually seen as lazy, unemployed people were now being thrown into the spotlight and even though he had thus far managed to avoid being forced into doing anything, his luck had apparently run out.

Unlike other interviews and sponsorship meetings that he could get out of by paying a fee, this new Social Media thing was apparently important enough to force changes. Wang Shi, the Chairman himself, had come all the way to Excellent Era and begged him to take part, even offering incentives that he knew Ye Qiu couldn't ignore.

No fees for interviews? Done.

No fees for Sponsorship meetings? Done.

But it was the final two incentives offered by Tao Xuan himself that Ye Xiu had faltered for.

Ownership of both Dancing Rain and Autumn Tree[1] if he answered questions and gained a minimum of 100 asks.

And so, that was how, Ye Xiu found himself in front of a computer, not playing Glory for once but patiently listening to Wu Xuefeng explains the ins and outs of a social media site—

"Do you understand, Captain?" Wu Xuefeng asked leaning back in his chair.

Ye Xiu nodded and watched his vice-captain leave to go lecture Qin Tianran and Xue Mingkai both of whom were starting to fight again.

Moving his mouse to the AMA question email inbox, Ye Xiu started scrolling through the questions already submitted. To his surprise, there was far more than a dozen, or even a hundred. Glancing to his left, he was shocked to see the 999+ hovering by the inbox. He had never thought he would get so many questions, rubbing his eyes, he got to work.

It was going to be a long night.

XXxxxxXX

AMA: Ye Qiu Edition [2]

StraightTalker:  When you tell a non-gamer that you play professionally, do they usually react positively or negatively? What about people you've been romantically interested in?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu)

    I once told one of my family members I was going to play professionally. I ignored the next five minutes of him telling me to go home. Most reactions are negative. The only positive reaction I had was from a friend. Never found anyone romantically because I was too busy winning championchips.

ManBearPig:  What's the weirdest thing you've ever been asked?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

      Is Old Han part of the mafia?

SundialQ:  If you hadn't become a battlemage in the pro scene what class would you have choosen?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

      Whatever class was needed or useful. Except for Cleric. My friend choose this class for me because there was too few good battlemages when Glory first came out and Battlemage was a highly complicated class.

UbvranCover:  What's one thing you regret about your Glory Career?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

     Having to be under spotlights during matches.

PrinceofFluffy:  There are rumors that you are an alien. How do you reply?

OneLeafof Two (Ye Qiu):

     Disbelief. How is this even a question?

CasefilesKK:  When you go out do you keep wearing your mask?

OneLeafof Two (Ye Qiu):

     Without. There's no point to wearing the mask if no one knows what I look like.

BloodFollowsFight:  How do you feel about ALLYe?

OneLeafofTwo (Ye Qiu):

    All What?

OnePieceofGold:  How do you feel about HanYe?

 OneLeafof Two (Ye Qiu):

     What does this even mean? Is Old Han trying to beat me?

See all 29+ Pro replies  387.0k+ Comments Share Save Hide Report

XXxxxXX

That first post is like a spark that seemed to set off everyone in the Glory community. Other pros were weighing in and forums everywhere were exploding as users were screen shotting their questions, most beyond shocked that the highly elusive and rare God of Glory was actually communicating. Wiki pages once so bare of data of the most powerful and shadowy existence that was the battle god were quickly edited and re-edited as more and more answers begun appearing on Reddit.

The moment that the news went viral, the newspapers were filled with information, and before long even more and more questions started being sent to Ye Xiu, to the complete shock of Wang Shi and Tao Xuan, both of whom knew that Ye Qiu had a following the Glory community but neither of them knew it was anything like this.

Already, Ye Qiu's AMA was trending on Weibo and nearly every social site that was even remotely popular, and yet no one was asking him to unmask. It was mind boggling because Ye Qiu thought that would be one of the only questions he would receive, and yet from all the hundreds of questions he answered, it had only appeared a few times.

Unfortunately, even though he had met his goal in the first few hours of his posts, the number of questions in his box was still exploding.

How was he ever going to finish this mess?

XXxxxXX

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long as after Tao Xuan made some calls to the PR group they had on retainer for situations like this. Based on their information and a suitable recommendation, Ye Xiu was given an assistant to help streamline the process, so that instead of him having to type everything manually he could do other things, such as captain his team.

The assistant was incredibly efficient and moved several questions over to a new thread that was due to open in the new week, while she deleted a large number of rather misleading, or crude questions. She worked with him, while he sat at the computer, or at his desk typing up comments to questions.

And so, Ye Xiu thought that was the end of it.

He was wrong.

XXxxxxXX

[1] In this fanfiction Tao Xuan had kept Autumn Tree and he had just been waiting for YX to purchase it back from him. However, even at rock bottom prices, YX was having problems getting the money together while being fined and taking care of Su Mucheng. In addition, as this fanfic takes place during Season 3, I headcanon that Su Mucheng is finishing up in the EE Training camp and her card was purchased (Though I don't know if this is actually a thing that happens.)

[2] Unlike other Reddit thread Ye Qiu is answering questions after the fact, instead of during a time slot like is normally done. I don't know if this possible, or under what circumstances, but here it is.

Reddit will not be the only social media site I add.

Questions were borrowed/created from the AMA on Reddit and Jobstr, all their work belongs to them.

Next Chapter |  Read on AO3

#king's avatar #quan zhi gao shou #ye qiu #ye xiu #amerikaknight #fanfiction #ao3 #How Social Media Infected the Glory Pro Circle

[the-captains-ayebrows]

The Meat Cute Ch. 5

Read from the beginning: FF NET / AO3 or on Tumblr [Prologue] / [Chapter 1] / [Chapter 2] / [Chapter 3] / [Chapter 4]

Anybody still remember this one? I got stuck on this chapter literally for years because I was trying to cram too much into it. So, I got out my meat cleaver, did some carving and it’s finally ready to be served up. Hope you enjoy!

FYI (since it’s been awhile) - italicized sections are flashbacks to Emma and Killian’s night together 8 years prior.

Killian rubs his eyes, thankful that the sun has finally sunk below the treeline. Saturday afternoon passed by in relative quiet. He and Will have already started the process of shutting down the Meat Market for the day, though the barbecue stand will stay open for a few more hours. The sharp jangle of the bell above the door startles Killian out of the daze of routine. He’s even more surprised to note that his customer is David Nolan.

He nods in greeting. “Sheriff Nolan! What can I get for you this evening?”

David pauses, hands on hips and a hesitant furrow to his brow as if he’s not sure how to phrase what’s on his mind. “Actually I came here to ask you a favor.”

Killian raises his eyebrows, curiosity piqued, and gestures for David to go on.

“See, Mary Margaret has me coaching a little league soccer team, and my assistant coach just quit on me.” He glances away, still apparently feeling a little awkward. “I was thinking that-”

“That because I use words like ‘bloody’ and ‘mate’, I might know a thing or two about proper football?” Killian asks, a wry smirk twisting his lips.

David closes his eyes for a second and exhales heavily. “Sorry. You’re right. That was-”

Killian raises his hand in a stop gesture and grins. “I’m just winding you up, mate. No worries. I’d be happy to help.”

David shifts his weight, looking relieved. “It’s just that Henry said you’d talked to him about ‘football’ before.”

Killian can practically hear the air quotes around the word football, and stifles the urge to roll his eyes. One word clicks in his mind. “Henry? Emma's boy is on the team?” he asks, attempting and likely failing to sound casual.

David tilts his head, his gaze narrowing. “Yeah, he is. Is that a problem? I noticed you waiting tables at Emma’s place last night. I thought you guys were friends now or something.”

Friends. Well, that’s one word for it. Acquaintances with an unusual history that they’ve agreed not to discuss and who are on mostly good terms after a rocky start, all while still being (mutually he hopes) intensely attracted to each other - that would be another way of putting it.

“We’re friendly enough, I expect.” Killian pauses, pursing his lips in thought. “Though, it might be well-advised to get her opinion on it before making the coaching job official. She and I have had a run-in or two and I’m not certain I’m completely back in her good graces.”

David frowns. “Do I wanna know?”

“Likely not,” Killian answers, keeping his expression guarded. He isn’t sure how much of their history Emma has shared with David, and he certainly doesn’t wish to get into the subject at the minute.

David nods slowly. “Okay, then. I’ll try to feel her out about it.” He digs in his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper to hand to Killian. “Here’s the schedule and address for the game field. We practice at the empty field next to Swan’s. I’m assuming you know where that is.” He pauses, giving Killian a chance to glance over the schedule. “Think you can handle it?”

“Aye. That’ll be fine.” Killian jerks a thumb over his shoulder at Will. “Scarlett here can man the helm for a few hours in my absence.”

David for the first time takes notice of Will loitering by the back counter, and the two men bob their heads at each other in acknowledgment.

“Thanks, Jones. I owe ya. Hey, why don’t you come by practice tomorrow? You can start running some warm-up drills with the boys while I talk to Emma.”

“Wait. I won’t be required to call the sport ‘soccer,’ will I?”

David crosses his arms over his chest and grins. “As long as you’re willing to help out, I don’t care what you call it.”

“Right,” Killian answers. “See you tomorrow then. Please pay my respects to your lovely wife as well.”

With a final nod, David turns and strides out of the Meat Market. The door has barely closed behind him before Killian hears Will’s cheeky laugh.

“Coaching footie for the little lads, mate?”

Killian turns to face Will with a scowl. “What of it?”

“Befriending the son to get in with the mum. Yup. No one’ll ever see through that,” Will answers with a smug expression that Killian very much wants to punch right off his face.

“Why don’t you keep your thoughts to yourself, mate ? And perhaps get back to work?” Killian pauses as a thought occurs to him, his own smug amusement quickly replacing his irritation. “Or do you want to cut out early today? Got more books to return to the library? Pretending to be an avid reader to get in with the pretty librarian. I suppose no one’ll ever see through that ruse either.”

This time it was Will’s turn to scowl indignantly. “Oi! I’m a man of letters, I’ll have you know.”

“Aye. And those letters are S.O.B.”

“Har bloody har .”

Killian laughs as Will shakes his head and pushes off the counter he’d been leaning against to resume his work cleaning up the shop.

“Honestly, though, does Belle know you fancy her?”

Will glances down at the floor in thought before answering. “Dunno. I’ve been coming ‘round enough, she should’ve gotten the idea by now, but she hasn’t exactly given me the ‘come hither’. Haven’t worked up the nerve to ask her out yet.”

Killian raises an eyebrow and sighs. “Know how you feel, mate. We’re a sorry pair, aren’t we?”

Will snorts a laugh as he continues cleaning. “Too right.”

Killian opens the register, removing the cash drawer. He takes a couple of steps toward his office, but stops, turning back to Will. “I can finish closing up by myself. Why don’t you go check out the selection at the library?”

Will looks up at him then, obviously fighting a grin. “Might just do that. Cheers, mate.” He shucks off his gloves and apron, leaving them on the back counter before hustling to the front door.

“See you tomorrow,” Killian calls out, but Will is a man on a mission. He doesn't turn, instead only acknowledging the words with a half-hearted wave just before the door closes behind him.

And perhaps I’ll see Swan tomorrow as well, he thinks. This should be interesting.

—/—

“So where’s that handsome new waiter of yours?” Mary Margaret asks innocently, fluttering her eyelashes as she takes a long sip from her iced tea.

“Stop.” Emma huffs and presses the icy, metal pitcher in her hand to Mary Margaret’s bare upper arm in retaliation. No prim cardigans today. It may be mid-October, but no one seems to have told the weather. Today’s high is supposed to top out at a balmy 92.

It’s the tail end of a long and blessedly busy Sunday lunch shift. Only a few families from the after-church crowd linger, including the Nolans. Far be it from David and Mary Margaret to miss an opportunity for Granny’s peach cobbler and a little meddling a la mode.

“I’m just saying it was pretty nice of him to tie on an apron and lend a hand. I hope you thanked him properly.”

Emma’s head whips around and David nearly chokes on his cobbler. After a split second’s worth of confusion, Mary Margaret’s eyes widen.

“Not like that! Sheesh, I’m not Ruby, for God’s sake,” she retorts, scandalized. “I just meant I hope you were nice to him, you know, in a friendly and completely G-rated--”

Emma holds up a hand to stop her friend’s rambling. “I fed him some pie and said thank you. Okay, mom? Or do I need to send him a handwritten note, too?”

Mary Margaret rolls her eyes dramatically and David chuckles.

“Well, you know what they say about the fastest way to a man’s heart,” he replies, lifting a forkful of golden syrupy peach by way of example and giving her a little wink before shoveling the bite into his mouth.

“Ugh, not you, too,” Emma grumbles. She sets her pitcher on the Nolan’s table, and plunks herself down on the bench next to David. Her elbow to his ribs and unceremonious “Scoot over!” only prompt more laughter from him as he gladly complies.

Emma looks between her friends briefly, then settles her gaze again on David. “Shouldn’t you be outside setting up for soccer practice right now instead of in here giving me grief?”

David and Mary Margaret share a look. “Speaking of Henry’s soccer team, Tom just quit on me. I need to find another assistant coach before next Saturday’s game or we’ll have to forfeit.”

“What’s the deal with Tom?”

“His allergies,” David answers. “Apparently there’s ragweed growing near the game field. He told me he can’t take it another week.”

Emma scowls. “You’d think a pharmacist would be able to…” she gestures vaguely with her hand, “you know, self-medicate or something.”

“You’d think.” David sighs, shaking his head as he stares back down at his dessert and spears another peach slice with his fork. “Anyway, I’ll be spending my afternoon trying to find someone to replace him.” He takes a bite and chews thoughtfully for a moment, then looks back over at Emma with a hopeful raised eyebrow. “Unless you can think of someone who would do it?”

Something in David’s tone sets off Emma’s internal bullshit detector, but she can’t figure out why. “You can’t just coach by yourself?”

“Nope. The league’s insurance requires at least two adult coaches per team.”

Emma pats David’s arm sympathetically and gets back to her feet, picking up her refill pitcher. “I sure hope you find someone. Henry will be crushed if the team can’t play until you get a new assistant. Speaking of Henry...” She casts a glance around the dining area and frowns, not seeing the boy in question. “Did either of you see where he went? He’s supposed to be in that booth over there working on his science project until practice starts.”

“He and one of his little buddies headed outside with a soccer ball a while ago. I guess they wanted to get an early start,” Mary Margaret answers. “Sorry, I didn’t know he was supposed to be doing homework or I would’ve said something.”

Emma waves away her friend’s apology, but same as with David, some quirk of Mary Margaret’s demeanor is setting Emma on edge.  She just can’t put her finger on what . “No problem. I’ll just go grab him by the scruff of his little pre-teen neck and drag him back in,” she says with a tight smile.

She walks over to the drink station and sets her pitcher down. She pauses there a moment as she wipes her hands on her apron. What are the odds? What are the odds that David casually mentions needing an assistant coach, right after both Nolans tease her about Killian AND Henry disappears with a soccer ball in hand?

He’s out there, isn’t he?

She grasps the doorknob, looking briefly heavenwards in a prayer for patience with overly helpful friends, then yanks the door open, knowing full well what she’s going to see mere steps from the building. There they are. Henry and his teammates, all red-faced and panting like puppy dogs, running drills in the afternoon sun, thankfully this time kicking away from the street.

And there, off on the sideline barely a few yards away is … Oh holy hell.

Emma swallows hard, suddenly suffused with a heat that has nothing to do with the blazing temperature outside. She knew. She knew he’d be there. Still, that knowledge had not prepared her for this. For Killian Jones in loose-fitting black soccer shorts riding low on his hips, muscled calves on full display. For the sweat-soaked FC Dallas t-shirt hugging his toned pecs and biceps. For the way the muscles of his throat work, his head thrown back as he gulps from a water bottle. She's near enough she can make out the rivulets of perspiration that roll down his jaw, winding their way past the twin freckles on the side of his neck, and she remembers the first time she saw those freckles up close.

  He turns to face her fully as they step onto the dance floor, and in a blink, his arm is around her waist, pulling her body flush to his. A thrill of excitement runs down her spine. She’s so distracted by the feeling of his lean, defined torso pressed against her ( God, he’s warm. Almost too warm ), that she might’ve missed the bob of his Adam's apple if it weren’t right at her eye level.

Feeling suddenly self-conscious for reasons she can’t explain, she takes a moment to slowly pan her gaze upwards, mapping the freckles that dot the column of his throat, the scar that marks one sculpted cheekbone. Still not quite ready for eye contact, she instead looks down to her side where Killian is gently taking her hand. Her eyes follow the movement of their joined hands as he raises them until they’ve assumed the usual dancing posture. Her heart is pounding, and she doesn’t know whether to be exhilarated or annoyed at herself for getting so worked up over just touching this guy. She finally allows herself to meet his eyes.

The look he’s giving her makes her toes curl - searing, but also searching - and she decides to let herself go, to give in to what she’s feeling. So she smiles at him, something soft and real, and he smiles right back.

“Hold on tight, love.”

She intends to.

  That thought wakes her up and she looks down quickly, chiding herself for so blatantly ogling him. Geez, all that scene needed was slo-mo and a guitar rock anthem playing in the background. At least he didn’t see me. The sound of throat clearing draws her attention. She looks up again to see Killian smirking at her.

“Quite hot, don’t you think, Swan?” he practically purrs, his tongue flicking to the corner of his mouth.

Or maybe he did. Smug bastard. She glares at him, but doesn’t take the bait.

“I mean outside, of course,” he continues innocently. “I was about to bring the lads indoors for a water break. Need to keep the squad properly hydrated.”

“Uh-huh,” Emma replies skeptically, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling in spite of herself. “Come on in. Tea and lemonade are on me.”

There’s the expected commotion as a troop of sweaty pre-teens files into the restaurant. During the shuffle, Mary Margaret grabs David’s truck keys and waves her goodbyes to the room, heading home to grade papers. The kids get situated at a long table, with David taking a seat at one end. He leaves the empty seat across from him for Killian, but instead of joining the group, Killian seems to be lingering a bit.

He’s close. Not inappropriately so, but enough that Emma catches the scent of clean sweat and woodsmoke that clings to him. And speaking of clinging, the way that t-shirt clings to his chest should really be…

Blinking quickly, Emma clears her throat. “I’ll just go get those drinks then.”

She turns toward the kitchen, but before she can get through the swinging door to hide the flush that’s creeping up her face, she hears footsteps behind her.

“I’ll help you, love.”

That’s just… great. “Fine,” she replies without looking back at him. “But no apron for you this time. Don’t want you sweating all over it. And wash your hands.”

His low, rumbling laugh follows her into the kitchen.

Emma grabs two large serving trays from a shelf and begins filling glasses with ice as Killian moves to the sink and washes his hands as commanded.

When she glances over at him, he gives her a sly smirk. “So, we’re back to being prickly today, are we?”

Emma frowns as she scoops ice into another glass. “I’m not prickly. I just don’t want to get tagged with a health code violation.”

Killian turns the faucet off, and looks at her appraisingly. “Then I suppose you’d better wash up as well,” he taunts, then flicks the water off his fingers at her.

“Hey! You’re getting me all wet!” she exclaims, then her eyes widen as she sees him pressing his lips together tightly, mirth dancing in his eyes. Before the barely repressed innuendo can burst out of him, she points a scolding finger at his chest. “Don’t even.”

His shoulders shake with silent laughter and he holds his hands up in surrender. “I wouldn’t dare, love.”

“Good,” she declares haughtily before returning to the task of pouring the drinks.

Killian grabs a pitcher of lemonade and starts to work on the second tray. “Honestly though, haven’t I proven to you by now that I’m not the enemy?”

Without looking up from her task, she answers him in a quiet voice. “I don’t think you’re the enemy.”

“Well, that’s something at least. I understand that my showing up here in your life - especially the manner in which it happened -” he runs a hand through his hair with a nervous chuckle. “I get that it caught you off guard. Believe me when I say it was quite the shock to my system as well, but you’ve nothing to fear from me, Swan. There’s no need for defenses.”

His tone is plain and sincere, and Emma makes the mistake of looking up to meet his too blue, too earnest eyes. “The thing is, my life - Henry, the restaurant, all of it - it’s a very fragile balance, and you and I barely know each other. The people we are now anyway. I just…” She turns her attention back to the drink tray and pours the last glass of lemonade. “I can’t take the chance that I’m wrong about you.”

Killian doesn’t respond right away, and she finally looks back up at him. She doesn’t know she expects to see, yet is still surprised to find him merely regarding her with quiet consideration.

“Okay,” he answers, “but has it ever occurred to you that by that logic you’re absolutely eliminating any chance that you’re right ?”

Emma’s mouth falls open, her breath catching in her throat and a strange tightening in her chest. Before she can reply, or more accurately, before her brain can cease it’s frantic whirring and even make an effort at formulating a reply, Killian gives her a small smile and shoulders one of the heavy laden trays. He turns wordlessly toward the kitchen door and Emma hefts the other tray and follows behind.

“You make a fair point, Swan,” he says casually just before they exit the kitchen. “While you and I know some rather intimate details about each other, we never really got to know the little things.”

“Guess so,” Emma agrees, suddenly wary. She eyes him quizzically as they walk the short distance across the dining room and set the trays down on an empty table.  She picks up a glass in each hand, and moves to the team table to begin distributing them. “So what do you want to know?”

Killian frowns in thought, picking up a couple of glasses as well to assist. “Favorite color?” he asks, setting the glasses on the table and moving to grab more.

“Yellow,” Emma answers as she continues passing out the lemonade to the eagerly awaiting boys. “You?”

“Green,” he replies automatically, but there’s something in the way that his eyes flick down after he says it, his long eyelashes dusting his cheeks, that makes Emma’s heart flutter.  “Favorite food?” he asks, settling the last two glasses in front of Henry and David and finally taking a seat at the table himself.

Emma walks to the head of the table to stand with Killian seated to her left and David to her right. Henry leans forward in his chair to peek at her around David’s shoulder.

“I know this one,” her son pipes up. “Fried stuff with cheese.”

David crosses his arms and rests them on the table. “Now hang on there, Henry. That’s what she eats every day-” he pauses to give Emma a pointed glare, earning him a swat on the arm from her. “But, let’s not forget that your mom is a carnivore. I think her actual favorite thing is a good steak.”

“Humans did not claw their way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables, okay?” Emma retorts, earning her a laugh from those in earshot and a nod of agreement from David.

Killian simply grins at her and she doesn’t want to think about that too much, so she taps her fingernails on his tea glass. “So, here’s a question for you. Tea. Hot or iced?”

Killian quirks an eyebrow at her. “Ah, now we’re getting down to truly important matters. You know, England may revoke my dual citizenship for this, but I’ve actually come to quite like it iced. Never sweetened, though. That’s a sacrilege I cannot abide.” He finishes the statement with a shudder as if the very thought pains him.

David laughs heartily. “And that statement could get you booted out of the Great State of Texas, mate. ”

Emma hums. “So is the interrogation over now? Or is there something else you’d like to know?” She extends her hand to Killian in an offer to shake, and fakes a bubbly voice. “I’m Emma Swan, age 29 and I like wildflowers, cheap clothes and expensive makeup. Nice to meetcha,” she says with a sarcastic smile.

Killian laughs and takes her hand. “Killian Jones, age 34, and I enjoy classic rock, cheap beer and expensive guitars.” He gives her hand a firm, businesslike shake. “Enchanted.”

David rolls his eyes at the pair of them and gulps the last of his tea. He leans forward to look down the length of the table at his team and claps once to get their attention. “Okay, guys. Break time’s over. Let’s get back out there and run some more drills!”

There’s a general shuffling and scraping of chair legs against the wood floor, and soon the group is headed out the door. Killian hangs back just long enough to send one last warm smile Emma’s way.

“Definitely enchanted,” he says with a wink, then jogs off to join the team.

—/—

Monday morning arrives, as does Emma's regular delivery from the Meat Market. She signs the delivery slip and as she gives the clipboard back to the driver, he in turn places a small, flat parcel in her hands.

Emma looks down at it blankly, taking in its pristine white paper wrapping, tied with butcher’s twine in a neat bow with a single yellow wildflower tucked beneath the string. “What the hell is this?” She asks, but when she looks up at the driver, he's already holding out a small note card covered in tidy script. She takes the note and reads:

“A brown-eyed susan for a green-eyed Swan and some extra protein to strengthen my star midfielder. Please enjoy.

-KJ”

That smooth sonuvabitch, she thinks with a shake of her head. She looks up to return the package to the driver but he's already back in the cab of his van.

“Wait!” she calls. “I can't-”

“Sorry, miss,” he replies through the open van window. “I was told there are no returns or exchanges on bonus items.” He gives her a cheerful wave and drives away.

“Oh, I'll just bet you were,” Emma mutters to herself, but as she looks down at the parcel again the sight of the little flower has her fighting a smile. She furtively glances around (as if anyone would be out at this godforsaken hour of the morning to see her), and pulls the bloom free, tucking it carefully behind her ear.

When she returns to her kitchen, she opens the parcel to find two absolutely beautiful tenderloin filets. Emma's teeth pull at her lower lip. On one hand it's kind of a weird (albeit thoughtful) gift, but on the other, well… She does have a peppercorn rub she's been meaning to try, and really there's no sense in wasting a prime cut of beef. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice that sounds just like Ruby is shouting, ‘ Girl, that's what I've been saying! ’ but she ignores it. Mostly.

And maybe if she gently re-wraps the steaks and places them in her fridge with a goofy grin on her face, and maybe if she puts her flower in a little glass by the register so she can look at it all day, well then that's her own business.

—/—

It’s a gorgeous, clear blue Saturday afternoon. Perfect game day weather. Autumn is finally catching up to Storybrooke, and what with the breeze that toys with Emma’s hair making her wonder why she even bothered to brush it this morning, it could almost be considered cool outside.

Emma hoists her folding lawn chair out of the VW’s trunk and totes it over to the sidelines to join Mary Margaret and the other team moms. Despite the lovely day, there’s an ominous feeling in her chest, her mind swirling with conflicting emotions. On the positive side, she’d finally convinced Granny divulge her secret onion ring recipe. Emma had tested it today during the lunch rush, handing out free samples to a few of her regular customers. Everyone raved about them, both for the nostalgia of bringing back a ‘classic’ as well as the actual flavor.

The response should have given Emma a boost of confidence about the potential for more revenue and new (or returning) customers, but there was something else that niggled at the back of her mind. No one had said anything to her directly, but as she’d worked the floor with the lunch crowd, she’d overheard a few statements about the barbecue sauce. ‘ Sauce seems kinda bland today,’ ‘You’re just used to Jones’s sauce,’ ‘Think Jones would bottle that stuff?’ ‘Swan’s has better food, but that sauce, man. It’s addictive.’ Emma files those comments away to process later.

She sighs as she removes her folding chair from its tote bag and settles it down next to Mary Margaret’s empty seat. She spots her friend further down the sidelines talking animatedly to David who has his arms crossed and brow furrowed. Emma smiles to herself  and wonders who’s actually running this show. Mary Margaret’s ‘helpful suggestions’ have been known from time to time to come out sounding more like royal decrees.

She picks Henry out of the cluster of boys jogging toward the team bench. She waves to catch his eye, and he offers her an only slightly embarrassed sounding, “Hey, mom!”

“Hey, kid!” Emma smiles broadly. He must really be excited about this game for him to publicly acknowledge her like that - adolescent street cred be damned - and she’s happy for him.

Her exchange with Henry apparently draws someone else’s attention to her as well. A second later, a deep, accented voice calls out, “Bring it in, lads!” and soon the owner of said voice is sauntering her way. He’s wearing those damn soccer shorts again, this time paired with a green t-shirt with ‘Cobras’, the team’s name, emblazoned across his chest in crisp, white letters. Not that she’s looking at his chest. Or his calves. Dammit, she’s never really been one to notice a man’s legs before. Why does her stupid brain have to start now? Emma swallows hard, trying to will her pulse back to a normal pace.

“Swan! Glad you could make it,” he says, a now familiar smirk gracing his lips. “You look lovely in green.”

“Well, it is the team’s color,” she replies with a shrug. Of course that’s why she wore this top. Not because it has a particularly flattering neckline, and certainly not because he mentioned that green was his favorite color the other day. “Just showing some team spirit.” She manages to keep her voice even, but he’s raking his eyes over her, swaying further into her space and licking his lips and dammit why is her face heating up like this?

“Right,” he says, leaning in and lowering his voice as if imparting a secret. “I rather fancy that shade of pink on you as well.”

Emma glares at him, but her flush only deepens. She huffs in frustration, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Was there something you wanted?”

He chuckles and steps back to a more respectable distance, but there is mischief in his eyes. “Oh, Swan, there are a great many things I want,” he answers with a wink, and Emma’s stomach does a strange little flip.

He pauses a beat, bouncing on the balls of his feet and his demeanor shifts from cocky to something more sincere. “But, I only meant to inquire about the steaks I sent over. Did you like them?” His hand reaches up to scratch behind his ear in a surprising show of insecurity, and this time it’s Emma’s turn to smirk.

“Wait, was that your weird way of buying me dinner without actually having to ask me out?”

The tips of his ears turn red ( score one for Emma! ), but he manages to maintain his cool exterior. “Nothing of the sort, love. Merely a gesture of goodwill to my biggest customer.” Cool turns to flirtatious, and his sky blue eyes bore into hers. “I can assure you,” he drawls, “if I were to court you, you would know you were being courted.”

A voice in the back of her mind shouts that she does, in fact, know it, and she’s not really sure what to do with that knowledge yet. Emma realizes her mouth has fallen open slightly, so she swallows. “In that case, the steaks were delicious, though I’m not sure Henry even tasted his. He basically inhaled it.” Emma glances over to the bench, indicating the boy in question.

Killian laughs lightly. “I’m glad to hear it. Afraid to say, the hoovering of food is part and parcel for a growing lad. My brother used to insist that I must’ve had a hollow leg to eat as much as I did and stay so scrawny.”

Emma watches, her eyes widening as flashes of emotion cross his face in rapid succession: a warm smile at the memory is quickly replaced by a flicker of pain and finally covered with a blank mask. It may have been eight years since she’s heard about Killian’s brother, but she realizes exactly how big of a deal it is for Killian to have not only spoken of him at all, but to mention him so casually and cheerfully.

The fact that he would be so unguarded with her, even for just a second, well… it matters , and Emma feels the weight of the moment at odds with a funny sort of lightening sensation in her heart. She reaches out to touch Killian’s arm, but as soon as her fingers make contact, he subtly pulls away, turning to face toward the field.

Okay then , Emma thinks. New tactic. In order to change the subject, or rather return to the previous one, Emma bumps her shoulder against his.

“Anyway, thanks for the steaks.” When he turns to her with an arched brow, she feigns a scowl and adds, “But you really shouldn’t have.”

Dimples cut into his cheeks as that damn eyebrow raises higher. “Ah, Swan, it was my pleasure. Besides, I told you I’d be more than happy to slip a little extra meat in your box anytime.”

“And we’re back to the innuendo.” Emma rolls her eyes, but a smile flirts with the corners of her lips. They’re quiet for a beat. Killian turns his attention back to where David seems to be giving the boys a pre-game pep talk. Emma glances down the sidelines. Now that she’s taken a minute to notice, she’s painfully aware of the looks they’re getting from some of the other team moms, ranging from casual ogling of Killian to outright jealousy of the attention he’s paying her.

Emma clears her throat, drawing Killian’s attention back to her. “Get outta here, Jones. Go do coach-y things.” She gives his shoulder a one-handed shove vaguely in the direction of the field and he laughs, the spark he’d lost for a moment now blazing back full force.

“As you wish,” he replies, inclining his head to her in semblance of a bow before turning and jogging over to join his team. She shakes her head, chuckling softly at his ridiculousness. He casts one last look at her over his shoulder, and she can't help but smile at him.

Interesting , Emma thinks as the referee blows a whistle to officially start the game. Things get awkward or a little too real and he reverts to flirting and innuendo. For a man who likes to talk about her defense mechanisms, he seems to have one or two of his own.

Emma walks over to the cooler one of the parents brought and grabs a can of Diet Dr. Pepper. By now, Mary Margaret has resumed her seat on the sidelines, so Emma joins her to settle in and watch the game.

And Emma does watch the game. Mostly. Middle school intramural soccer isn’t the most riveting thing ever, but she does genuinely enjoy watching Henry have fun. The boys actually seem to be playing a little bit better this week, too, so maybe David made the right call asking Killian to help out as a coach.

Emma’s known forever that David was good with kids - Henry calls him Uncle David for a reason - but as she looks down the sidelines for probably the hundredth time, she has to admit that David isn’t the only one looking like a pro with the boys. Watching Killian now, Emma can hardly believe she ever thought he could be anti-kid.

He’s enthusiastic, encouraging, and the team clearly respects him. He’s animated to the point that it’s hilarious. He gets so excited when the team scores their first goal that his voice actually cracks as he cheers them on. He scowls and snarls every time the referee makes a call he doesn’t agree with. His hands have spent so much time pulling at his hair in anxiety on the boys’ behalf that it’s now sticking up haphazardly in every direction. And that is in no way attractive as hell.

Not to mention that he and David make quite the pair, between all the high-fiving and chest bumping - a fact not lost on Mary Margaret.

“Well, I think Tom Brady has officially been replaced as David’s man-crush.” Mary Margaret says, snapping Emma out of her reverie. Emma tries and most likely fails to make it seem as though she wasn’t just staring at Killian - another fact Mary Margaret picks up on. “You know, if you don’t want to go out with Killian, I think my husband might.”

Emma snorts a laugh, and Mary Margaret continues. “Actually you both may have some competition.” She bobs her head to the side, indicating where she wants Emma to look. “Don’t those three hussies have kids on the other team? The way they’re looking at Killian, I think they’ve got more than good sportsmanship in mind.”

“Did you seriously just say ‘hussies’?” Slowly turning her head in an attempt to be subtle, Emma scans the sideline (again) and sure enough, a trio of buxom blondes has appeared practically out of nowhere and is rather effusively trying to ply Killian with Gatorade, giggling and fawning at him the whole time. Something feral stomps and growls in Emma’s gut at the sight, but it’s quickly tempered with a little bit of amusement at how utterly (if politely) uninterested Killian appears and how much the spectacle seems to be irritating Gaston, the opposing coach.

“I think you may be right,” Emma replies as coolly as she can, despite the fact that Killian keeps darting glances her way, his eyes seeming to beg for a rescue from his new admirers. At this point she’s trying not to smirk from an irrational sense of triumph, but she refuses to give Mary Margaret the satisfaction. “Can we please just watch the game?”

Emma takes a sip of her canned drink as Mary Margaret eyes her knowingly. “Yeah, it’s definitely the game that you’ve been watching.”

“New subject,” Emma says, the implied ‘don’t push it’ hanging in the air between them.

“Fine.”

Eventually the three women give up and head back to their own sideline. As they walk away, Emma unclenches her jaw, realizing she’s been biting the inside of her cheek the whole time. The game is going well and she’s just starting to relax when Mary Margaret casually sips from her water bottle and peers at Emma from the corner of her eye.

“So your birthday is this Thursday.”

Shit. After twenty two years of friendship are we really having this conversation again? “I guess so,” Emma replies, deliberately keeping her eyes on the field. “Hey, that was a pretty good pass.” Emma pops up from her lawn chair, cupping her hands around her mouth. “Go Henry!” she hollers, catching his attention briefly and earning her a quick, subtle thumbs-up from her favorite boy.

Emma settles back into her seat and Mary Margaret continues, blatantly ignoring the fact that Emma is blatantly ignoring her. “It’s your thirtieth.”

“Uh huh.” Emma scowls as a kid from the other team steals the ball and begins dribbling it back down the field in the other direction. She knows Mary Margaret isn’t going to let up, but she’s determined not to make it easy for her friend to lure her into a conversation about her birthday. Mary Margaret has been dropping hints for weeks about planning a birthday party for Emma, but really - she knows how Emma feels about the subject. Just because “It’s a milestone, Emma,” and “You’ve come so far, Emma,” doesn’t mean she’s ready to embrace Mary Margaret’s ideas about celebrations and specialness.

It’s not until she hears Mary Margaret’s sharp exhale of annoyance that she finally turns to face her friend. Emma can’t stop the immature roll of her eyes in response to the “teacher-face” she receives.

“Okay, how about this?” Mary Margaret asks in her most reasonable tone. “You and Henry can come over to our house Thursday night after the boys get done with their practice. I’ll cook a big meal and we can all have just a nice, low-key family dinner together. Sound okay?”

Emma purses her lips, considering the offer. “Something greasy and unhealthy?”

Mary Margaret smiles indulgently. “I’ll bust out the deep fryer if I have to. And bake you a cake.”

“No. No birthday cake. No candles. And no singing.”

“You’re telling me you don’t want dessert?” Mary Margaret raises her eyebrow skeptically.

“I didn’t say that ,” Emma hedges. “You could make those homemade cinnamon rolls I like…”

“That’s a breakfast food, not a dessert.”

Emma does her best impression of the puppy eyes Henry likes to use on her when he wants something. “But it’s my birthday?”

Mary Margaret shakes her head and chuckles. “Done. So we’ll see you Thursday night?”

“Okay. We’ll be there.” Emma leans sideways to bump her shoulder against her friend’s. It’s a small gesture, but she hopes after all these years that Mary Margaret understands what she means. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for giving a damn about me. Thank you for not pushing. When she opens her mouth, however, all that comes out is a simple, “Thanks.”

—/—

Several hours later, Emma finds herself wishing all her friends were as understanding as Mary Margaret.

Henry’s team lost, but the score was much closer than the last game. Since Emma had to go back to the restaurant, Henry - after giving Emma a very sweet, but sweaty hug - hitched a ride home with David and Mary Margaret. At the time Emma left, Killian had been busy talking with other team parents, and Emma noted with some degree of smugness that the other moms from Henry's team were a lot less brash about ogling the hot coach when their husbands were standing right next to them. Though she and Killian had actually gotten along pretty well at the beginning of the game (okay, they’d flirted shamelessly), she was relieved that she could slip away from the game without much more than a wave goodbye from a distance. The way he’d smiled at her was something she wasn’t prepared to think about too deeply.

And speaking of things she didn’t want to think about...

“Ruby, no.” Her phone had rung nearly the second she’d walked into her house after closing down the restaurant for the night. She expected it to be David calling to let her know that he was about to bring Henry home, so she was surprised to see Ruby’s number on her phone screen. It didn’t take long for Ruby to make her motives for calling crystal clear.

“Ruby, YES.” Emma can hear her friend’s wicked grin even through her shitty cell phone connection. “Emma, it’s your Dirty Thirty! You HAVE to have a party.”

“I have…” Emma flounders for a word that will get Ruby off her ass about throwing some ridiculous drunken fiasco in honor of Emma’s birthday, but finally decides no such word exists. “Plans,” she finishes lamely.

“Uh huh. Yeah. And what are these plans exactly?”

“Having dinner at David and Mary Margaret’s.”

As expected, Ruby scoffs. “That doesn’t begin to count as a party, hon’.”

“Hey! You know I’m not into the whole birthday thing, and it’s actually a pretty big deal for me to have someone else do the cooking for once. Besides, I’m bringing a date.”

“YOU MEAN YOU FINALLY ASKED KILLIAN OUT AND YOU DIDN’T TELL - Oh, wait. You mean Henry, don’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Ruby’s sighs dramatically. “Emma, I love Henry to death. He’s my favorite little dude, so don’t get me wrong here. But you need some grown up fun. So, go have your nice family tea party with the Nolans on Thursday night, but by 10pm on Friday I expect your ass to be in my bar. That’s when the fun begins.”

Emma grunts, both a show of frustration and a wordless admission of defeat. “Remind me why I’m friends with you again?”

Before Ruby can answer, Emma hears the front door open and Henry shuffles in with a sleepy, “Hey, mom.” She smiles at him and reaches out to scratch his back as he passes her, heading straight toward the kitchen.

“Because I gave you your first tube of lipstick. And because you love me,” Ruby replies smugly.

Emma smiles to herself. “Yeah, I guess it was something like that. Alright, I’ll see you Friday, Rubes.”

Emma hangs up her phone, just as Henry emerges from the kitchen, a plate of leftovers in his hand.

“What’d Aunt Ruby call about?” he asks around a mouthful of food.

“Didn’t you eat dinner at the Nolans’?” Emma responds, ignoring his question for the moment.

He rolls his eyes, a habit he unfortunately inherited from her. “I did , but you know, losing really works up an appetite,” he answers with a cheeky grin.

“Hm. If you say so, kid, but I was really hoping you’d be further into your teens before you started eating us out of house and home.” Emma sighs. “Anyway, I was just telling Aunt Ruby that you and I are going over to Aunt Mary Margaret and Uncle David’s house for a big dinner on Thursday. You can walk home from practice and take a shower, and I’ll come pick you up from the house to drive over there.”

“Cool! Is this a thing for your birthday?” He shovels more food in his mouth.

Emma nods, not wanting to get into a birthday discussion with yet another person today. “How about you go sit down with that.” She gestures at his plate. “At least pretend you weren’t raised in a barn?”

Henry moves over to the couch, setting his plate down on the coffee table in front of him. Emma follows and settles down on the cushion next to him.

“Nah, I was raised by wolves,” he says, picking up the remote and clicking on the TV.

It’s Emma’s turn to roll her eyes. She wonders how Granny and Ruby would feel about that particular turn of phrase, since they were his constant babysitters most of his early life.

“Aunt Ruby also wants me to go hang out with her at Howl on Friday night after I close down the restaurant. Think you can spend the night at Avery’s?”

Henry frowns. “I think his family is going out of town that weekend.”

Emma ponders this for a moment. “How about I ask Granny if you can stay over at her house?” It’s not as exciting an option as a sleepover with friends, but Emma and Henry both know full well Granny will spoil the snot out of him. There will definitely be a pie involved.

She can see the wheels in her son’s head turning, and a small smile begins to tickle at the corners of his lips. “Yeah. That’d be okay I guess,” he answers with feigned disinterest.

Emma reaches over and tousles his hair. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

—/—

The sky has slowly turned from overcast to downright threatening as the boys finish their last round of drills on Sunday afternoon. Killian is thankful when David blows his whistle to signal the end of practice. To be honest, he’d hardly been paying attention the last half hour anyway, not since Emma came outside her restaurant to bring him and David large take-out cups of ice tea. She hadn’t said much, just an exchange of pleasantries really, but there was something in her smile today - half-hidden, but present nonetheless - that filled him with hope.

He’s winning her over, he thinks. He feels it in his bones. His goodwill gesture seemed to have had the intended effect, and he doesn’t believe he’s deluding himself in thinking that they shared something of a moment before the game yesterday. Bloody hell, they’d been so at ease with each other bantering back and forth that he’d actually talked about… He shakes himself out of the memory and begins rounding up footballs (he still refuses to call them soccer balls) and gear to load into David’s truck.

“Heads up, coach!”

Killian looks up in time to see Henry throw a ball his direction and he snags it out of the air one-handed. “Oi! There’s no throwing in football,” he says with a feigned scowl, but Henry’s clearly not buying it. He rolls his eyes at Killian before jogging the rest of the way over. “Good practice today, lad. I’ll see you Thursday evening, yeah?”

Henry smiles brightly. “Oh! Are you going to my mom’s birthday party then?”

Killian blinks in surprise. “Well, I meant I’d see you at our next practice. Is your mother’s birthday on Thursday as well?”

“Yeah!” Henry replies. “The party’s at Uncle David and Aunt Mary Margaret’s house. She’s an awesome cook. You should totally come!” As the lad pauses for breath, David walks over to join them. “Uncle David, tell Killian he has to come over on Thursday.”

David places his hands on his hips and shrugs, a half smile tilting his lips. “Well, from what I hear, Mary Margaret’s planning on making enough food to feed an army, so the more the merrier as far as I’m concerned. You remember how to get there?”

“Aye, I can find it,” Killian answers. “Thanks for the invite, mate. Let me double check that Scarlett and Smee can handle things at work for the whole evening, but it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Great!” Henry exclaims. “See ya Thursday, Killian.” With that he dashes off into Swan’s Bar-B-Q to work on homework or eat a side of beef or whatever it is young lads do.

It takes approximately ten seconds for realization to come crashing down on him. It’s Emma’s bloody birthday which means he needs to get her a present , and he doubts raw meat is going to cut it this time. It can’t be anything too extravagant or intimate. It’s far too soon for that. It must be unassuming, yet thoughtful. Something that will impress her, but not overwhelm her.

Bloody hell, he needs to call in reinforcements.

—/—

“Rob, I need to speak to the missus.”

“Killian. Nice to talk to you, too. Oh my day was lovely, thanks for asking. Now why are you calling me at eleven o’clock at night to speak to my wife?”

Killian sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Robin is going to take the piss out of him for this. “I need shopping advice.”

“I should say so. I told you your whole black-on-black aesthetic was far too citified for small town life. Unless you’re trying to pass for Johnny Cash.”

“That’s not what-” Killian huffs in frustration. “Just put Regina on the phone. Please. ”

There's a pause where he hears muffled voices in the background. After some shuffling sounds, Regina’s familiar businesslike voice comes on the line.

“Jones, I hear you’re in need of a personal shopper. It’s about time.”

“If you and your husband are quite finished critiquing my fashion sense, then yes. I, erm…” he hesitates, not sure how much Robin has told Regina about Emma. “I need help selecting a birthday present.”

“For whom?”

“A woman.”

“Okay.” He can hear the growing irritation in Regina’s voice. “Are we talking a co-worker? Social acquaintance? You don’t date, so it couldn’t be-” The line goes quiet and Killian assumes Regina is looking to Robin for some kind of confirmation. “It’s for that woman. Emma, right? Sounds like you finally took Robin’s advice and talked to her.”

“Aye, it’s for Emma. Things have been going a bit better of late. Her son invited me to her birthday party and I haven’t a bloody clue what to get her.”

“There’s a lot to unpack in what you just said, but I’ll let it slide for now.” Regina hummed in thought. “A bottle of wine would be tasteful without being over the top. Do you know her favorite varietal?”

“I don’t think she’s much of a wine drinker, to be honest. As I recall she prefers rum.”

“Why am I not surprised? A book, perhaps. That could be personal, but not overly intimate.”

“She works long hours like I do and she has a young son at home. I doubt she has much in the way of free time for reading.”

“So what do you know about her interests?” Regina’s voice had gone flat, well, flatter than usual.

Killian sighs, scratching behind his ear even though no one is around to see it. “I know she likes flowers and rum and Dr. Pepper. She told me she likes cheap clothing and expensive makeup, but I wouldn’t dare attempt to buy her any of that. She cooks and runs a barbecue restaurant just down the road from mine. Perhaps I should get her something for her kitchen?”

“Wait, she’s your competition? Then no. Any cooking-related gifts could be seen as some sort of passive-aggressive insult.”

God, he hadn’t considered that. “Bloody hell, Regina, what am I supposed to get her then?”

He hears Regina take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Finally she answers, “I don’t know, Jones. Buy her some flowers. Maybe get her something from one of those fancy bath shops at the mall. That’s a solid default gift. Besides, if she works as hard as you say, she might appreciate a relaxing bubble bath on occasion.”

The idea of getting Emma a ‘default’ gift hardly thrills him, but he knows he’s reached the end of Regina’s patience. “Alright. I’ll think about it. Thanks, Regina.”

—/—

He had driven forty-five minutes to get to a town large enough to support a shopping mall, but that’s nothing compared to the two hours he’s been wandering aimlessly around this god forsaken place. Shop after shop he’s searched, but nothing seems right.

He stops in the food court to buy himself a soft pretzel on the vague hope that a dose of salt and carbohydrates will somehow spark his inspiration. As he takes a seat at a wobbly and disturbingly sticky table, he looks up and sees it. Directly across from his spot in the food court, large obnoxious yellow signs with red letters proclaim some kind of sale as well as, “For a limited time only: Throwback Favorites!” He hasn’t a clue what that last bit means, but Regina’s suggestion looms large in his mind, and he’s getting a bit desperate.

By the store’s entryway, a lass in a red apron is offering a sample spray of whatever scent is on feature to a teenage girl who’d stopped to eye the display. Apparently the scent is a “90’s classic” that the girl simply must try. The girl nods her assent and the saleswoman spritzes her liberally as Killian returns his attention to the snack in front of him. He’s two bites into his pretzel when the aroma from the bath shop finally hits him - clean, sweet and achingly familiar even after all this time.

  The song goes into its final cadenza, and Killian decides to show off a bit. Well...perhaps he’s been showing off a tad the entire song, but this woman has met him step for step. He’s mesmerized by the way her firm, supple body moves with him, every push and pull, every swivel of her hips, every swish of her hair.

He’d pulled her into his arms hard and fast when they’d first reached the dance floor, just trying to get a rise out of her, but damned if the sensation of holding her for the first time didn’t very nearly get ‘rise’ out of him. The press of her breasts against his chest, her pelvis against his thighs… He’d had to swallow hard, counting backwards from ten to get his body’s reaction to her back under control.

Now she’s laughing, flushed and breathless, eyes bright and he thinks she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He takes her through an elaborate spin, then pulls her in close, one hand at the small of her back, the other sliding up into her hair to cradle her head.  He dips her low as the final chord lingers in the air, and she lifts her chin, granting him access to ghost his nose down the long column of her throat to her collarbone. He holds her there just for a second, just long enough to breathe her in. She smells like heaven. A hint of salt, a dash of something sweet and fresh.

Slowly he raises her back to standing, releasing his embrace and simply letting his hands rest on her hips. Her hair falls forward to frame her face, but he can still see the pretty blush on her cheeks beneath the gossamer strands. He watches her eyes flick down to rest on his lips, her own pink mouth subtly parting. He wants to kiss her - gods above does he want to kiss her - and he will. She’s made it fairly clear where this evening is headed after all. But it’s too soon and it’s too public. They have all night.

Killian huffs a laugh at himself and shakes his head. Perhaps Regina had the right idea after all, though damned if he’ll tell her that. He stands and makes his way toward the store. He knows just what to do.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. ;-)

#captain swan ff #cs ff #cs modern au #the meat cute #cs barbecue au

[heymusings]

Things I loved in individual Marvel Movies (FYI...there’s a lot)

Iron Man

The epitome of showing character development within the time frame of a single film through Tony Stark.

Pepper Potts pretty much being Tony’s baby sitter.

Soundtrack

A man who has everything and nothing.

It’s literally just a well balanced action movie.

The fact that is was mostly just RDJ improvising and the other actors having to work with it.

Tony realizing he is part of the problem and finds his purpose in trying to fix those problems, and by doing so working to become a better person.

The fact that Tony is still not a fully realized “hero” at the end of this film-- he still has some quirks to work through and is a little too arrogant.  But this really sets up for even more amazing character development in the next films.

It is a movie of its time-- terrorism and greedy businessmen as the villains.

The fact that Tony and Pepper are not a couple by the end, even when I ship them.

“I am Iron Man”  The instant new trend of not hiding their identity.

Tony: Throw in a little hot rod red.  Jarvis: Yes, that will help you keep a low profile.

Pepper buying herself a birthday present from Tony.

Tony seeing her in the dress.

Pepper “taking out the garbage”-- burn

Tony’s suite tests and Dummy trying to put out a fire.

Tony making the first suite in the cave-- i love that montage

Stane’s moment in realizing how the suite worked-- it’s such a silent but great moment

“Don’t waste your life.”

The acting that takes place in the moment Stane takes the reactor out of Tony’s chest is amazing-- RDJ doesn’t even say anything.

Pepper getting the thumb drive out of the office-- and having the forethought to have Coulson follow her-- Coulson just sitting there waiting (it was oddly funny to me).

The eventual use of the SHIELD acronym

Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.

I don’t have anyone but you.

Iron Man 2

Tony and Pepper kissing for the first time....admittedly the first two films came out at a time when the thing I mostly cared about was shipping.

Soundtrack

Stark clearly still developing as a person and superhero...I love me some character development.

Stark refusing to give the suite

“If your priority was to actually to...”-- Tony questioning governmental control

“I am Iron Man.  The suite and I are one.  To turn it over will be to turn over myself which would be tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution...”

The Iron Man suit as a “shield”--- interesting.

I love watching Tony in his workshop.

Dummy.

Pepper taking charge several times throughout.

Natasha totally taking out Happy when he assumes she can’t.

Pepper actually coming to like Natasha as her assistant.

Tony dealing with his mortality

Tony: Were you aiming for him or me...I can’t tell!

Happy just ramming into Whiplash with the car over and over again.

I told you I don’t want to be part of your super secret boy band.

Fury and Tony talking about Howard Stark and how he was one of the founding members of shield.

Shout out to the tessaract.

Phil: I will taze you and watch super nanny as your drool into the carpet.  Got it?

The ex wife.

Tony: Hammer tech? Rhodey: Yea.

Two seals fighting over a grape.

Phil leaving to go to New Mexico-- Thor shout out.

“Nice work kid.”

Pepper!!!

War machine and Iron Man working together to beat the iron suites-- I am partial to the shots of them in the Park area

Natasha beating the shit out of all the guys as she makes her way down the hallway...doing so very nonchalantly-- while happy takes on one guy.

Tony: You have a big gun but you’re not the big gun.

Hammer’s shock that Pepper is having him arrested while Pepper just glares at him totally unafraid of him.

Captain America shout out.

Pepper and Tony kiss.

I was here first, get a roof.

Tony: Text book narcissism?....agreed.

Getting the guy who hated Stark to present the award at the end.

“Funny, how annoying a little prick can be.”

Iron Man 3

Tony interacting with Harley  

The question if Iron Man is the suite or the man-- Tony clearly needing to come to terms with the question if his heroism comes from the man or the suite-- and has to do so by accepting his weaknesses.

Tony proving he can still be a hero without the suite. He is a mechanic-- him infiltrating the mandarin mansion without the suite and just a bunch of every day items is amazing.  This film just reminds us that his bad-assery comes from his mind. It is honestly just one of the best Stark moments all around.

Continuity in how Tony is affected by what happens to him.

Pepper coming to the rescue.

The fact that Tony went back for Dummy after his home was attacked.

In the end Tony is sure that even without the suite he is still Iron Man-- You can take away my tricks and toys, but the one thing you can’t take away...I am Iron Man.

The Dora Explorer watch

Honestly, I hate working here.  They are so weird.

Captain America

Agent Carter totally beating the men into place and Steve clearly loving it.

Bucky: Weren’t you smaller?... What happened to you? Steve: I joined the army.  Bucky: Did it hurt...is it permanent?  Steve: A little...so far.

The introduction of the heart of the character-- good man vs perfect soldier

He’s artistic-- this really says something about his character.

The flag bit will not make me laugh.

Peggy Carter...enough said...literally...everything about her.

Steve using the garbage lid as a shield-- I just like the foreshadowing... someone get that man a shield.

I can do this all day-- even when he is tiny and doesn’t stand a chance he doesn’t back down against a bully knowing he won’t win (but he still called out the bully)

Knowing Peggy touching Steve’s chest was technically an honest reaction by the actress-- she was literally so shocked by seeing him without a shirt for the first time.

The fact that I can say, “aw look how cute and little they are,” about both Bucky and Steve.

Steve jumping on the grenade...is this a test?

He’s still skinny.

“You have no idea how to talk to a woman do you.”

“Waiting for the right partner.”

“How do you feel?” “Taller.”

“I could do this all day.”

Peggy making a kill shot on a man that is in a car and at quite a distance.

Peggy non nonchalantly shooting at Steve to test shield, but mostly out of jealousy...and Steve looking ready to pee himself. 

Kid: go get him, I can swim.

The extreme differences in the reactions to the “performance” in the cities compared to the camps.

I really like the leather jacket.

“Where I am going if anyone yells at me I can shoot them”  “Undoubtedly they will be shooting back.”

Fondue

Peggy: You can’t give me orders.  Steve: The hell I can’t, I am a Captain.

Steve: You sure this thing works? Howard: It’s been tested more than you, pal.

Do you know what you’re doing? Steve: Yeah, I knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.

Until the end of the line.

Bucky: You don’t have one of those do you?

Bucky refusing to leave Steve behind.

Cap and Bucky leading the rescued men back to camp.

I couldn’t call my ride.

Bucky: That little guy from Brooklyn that was too dumb to run away from a fight, I am following him.

Bucky: I am visible, I am turning into you.  This is a horrible dream.  Steve: Don’t take it so hard.  Maybe she has a friend.

Bucky’s face of pure confusion after realizing Peggy wasn’t going to give him the time of day.

The subtle development of the friendship between Howard and Steve.

Bucky’s sniper skills.

Bucky: Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island? Steve: Yeah, and I threw up.  Bucky: This isn’t payback is it?

Bucky: I had him on the ropes.  Steve: I know you did.

Any time Bucky and Steve work together-- it just comes off very natural.

Bucky wielding, if only for a moment, the Captain America Shield.

Peggy and Steve’s kiss

I am not kissing ya.

Steve’s sacrifice.

Steve being able to think coherently enough to recognize that something is wrong when he wakes up by realizing the baseball game is too old.

The shot of Steve on a modern New York City.

“I had a date.”

Captain America Winter Soldier

The opening running scene (rather than something more actionesque-- and the banter that builds as Steve continuously passes Sam... this also really sets up the fact that this is a film that concentrates almost solely on characters (despite having great action sequences).

On your left....two passes later...Don’t say it.

Steve’s speech over the intercom, “...It’s a price I’m willing to pay.  I may be the only one...but I am willing to bet I am not.”

Steve in glasses.

The Winter Solider-- his knife skills....the clear progression throughout the film as he becomes more and more conflicted.

“I am 95, I am not dead.”--- I need more information about this line.

“Does anyone want to get off?”

Natasha and Steve as a team-- Steve becoming more trusting of her

The fact that of any movie he could have watched after waking up Steve watched “Saw”

Steve/WS hand to hand battle

“This isn’t freedom; this is fear.” (Steve seeing Shield as a bully...he doesn’t like bullies)

Steve’s progressive realization that the power of the individual to make choices is more important than orders from an entity that may have ulterior motives.

Falcon/Sam treating Steve like a regular guy and just developing a loyal friendship that I appreciate.

 WS catching Steve’s shield with one arm.

Until the end of the line.

Bucky/WS’s murder walk.

Nat: Where did Captain America learn to steal a car? Steve: Nazi Germany, and we’re borrowing, take your feet off the dash.

It’s really not your style Rogers.  Steve: You’re right, it’s not, it’s hers (then commence Nat still trying to find Steve a date).

Captain America Civil War

Bucky noticeably uncomfortable when he first hears the sirens, then his relief when they pass him and the immediate return to being on edge when he notices the man looking at him from across the street.

So many reminders that Bucky’s nature is not toward violence.

Steve confronting Bucky in his apartment only for Bucky to run, trying so hard to avoid a fight...but the fight that happens I love, especially in the stairwell.

Bucky going after the reactor of the Iron Man suite-- noticeably not going for killing blows during the final fight and despite Tony full out trying to kill him.

How tired and sad Bucky sounds when he tells Cap, “It always ends in a fight

Wanda: You guys know I can move things with my mind right.

Wanda: You were pulling your punches.

Steve’s talk with Wanda about doing and saving who you can and that it doesn’t always mean everyone.

Tony managing to disarm the greatest assassin with nothing but a gauntlet while wearing a three piece suite.

Steve’s clear conflict regarding his friendship with Tony and willingness to forgive him at the end.

Wanda’s relationship with both Clint and Steve... I wanted more of this.

Steve understanding the dangers of the accords more than Tony (based on experience)-- and the importance of his message, “you can’t save everyone,” but you can save the majority.

I admit...this movie got me so worked up about how Tony wants so much to start pushing away the blame for even one lost life that he becomes so willing to place all the responsibility on a governmental power rather than the individual (as Steve believes) even at the cost of putting targets on the back of his friends/allies.  I will never not be shocked at his shock when he talks of Wanda as a weapon or his shock when they put them all in prison. But I also love that I got so worked up about this-- it makes for a great watch.

“No you move.”

Bucky and the motorcycle-- wow, that was not only cool...but it was really, REALLY hot.

I can’t control their fear-- only my own.

I retire for like what five minutes and it all goes to shit.

You want to mope go to high school.  You want to make amends, you get off your ass.

I can’t, but she can.

You locked me in my room.

Bucky being totally done with all the weird stuff going on around him.

“I can do this all day.”

Geez, Tony.  How old is this guy.

Bucky moving in front of Sam to protect him from Spiderman.

You couldn’t have done that earlier? (I hate you.)

Can you move your seat up. (No).

“You don’t deserve it-- My father made that shield”-- he sounds like a child trying to defend himself and his actions.  Steve dropping the shield and taking Bucky is pretty much him winning the fight-- taking the higher ground-- good man vs. good soldier being reiterated here.  The shield doesn’t take away from Cap’s strength at all-- what made him a hero is his heart, the fact that he is a good man and he doesn’t need the shield.  This is something that Tony is still learning and coming to terms with in his developmental arc.

This is the first time that we see Tony truly angry during his first with Steve-- he is being driven by his instincts to get revenge at that moment-- he is devastating but it takes away from one of his strengths-- thinking things out.

Tony is in the wrong regarding his trying to kill Bucky, he even practically admits it when Steve attempts to get him to see reason, “I don’t care, he killed my mom.” Tony is in the wrong and yet Steve still understands Tony’s feelings, yet he can’t let Bucky die even from someone he calls a friend-- this just makes for good emotionally intense conflict that is matched by the actual physical conflict.

Steve: He’s my friend. Tony: So was I-- this line literally emotionally devastates both characters.

Steve: I can do this all day. (Cap refusing to back down to protect his friend).

Tony losing because of one moment Bucky helps Steve simply by providing a seconds distraction.

Natasha being there for Steve at Peggy’s funeral

Tony trying to appeal to Steve’s past in order to get him to sign the accords using pens from Howard (one for each of them) and Steve’s response, “Some would say it bought us closer to war.” What a way to immediately set up where these two stand.

The idea that there are two sides to “right”-- Steve concentrating on moral and Tony being a realist... it really calls in to question which side you agree with most, and I love that.

Steve: If I see a situation going south I can’t ignore it.  I wish I could.  Tony: No you don’t.  Steve: You’re right, I don’t.

Tony clearly trying to use the accords as an excuse to help him stop because he keeps finding excuses to not stop even when he wants to for Pepper

Did you know?-- the fact that it finally is made clear that Steve is not perfect and is willing to lie.  He has reasons, but I think it is great to realize the contrast between the legend of perfect Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Steve realizing that the accords are similar to what Shield was doing in trying to deter war using fear/threats/control before it happened (which never works)-- Steve’s, “She’s a kid!” vs Tony’s, “She’s not a U.S. citizen and they don’t grant visas to weapons of mass destruction!” is really Steve’s break away from any possibility of him signing the accords. 

Tony’s greatest fear of being alone coming to pass as he is left at Avengers headquarters alone.

Steve: Where you from kid? Peter: Queens. Steve: Brooklyn

Tony never really seems to truly agree with the accords (not only does he also break them) on a moral level and he seems haunted by it throughout the film, while Steve is made stronger by his decision because he is sure of his position 

Tony: I am trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart. Steve: You did that when you signed-- how upset Tony is vs. how calm and matter of fact Steve is (who is surer of themselves?)

Thor

Frigga and Loki’s relationship

Darcy... she needs to be around more in the other movies.

Not that it’s a favorite thing, but I am honestly always confused how Thor is so hero worshiped when he’s kind of a dick at the beginning, and then when Loki starts doing similar things that Thor did he’s the bad guy (not saying he should have done them...but double standards and hypocrisy abound in this movie).  The more you watch the more you realize that everyone treats Loki like crap... like wow, they were all lucky Loki loved Thor and his family or he would have done something much sooner.

Loki’s manipulations.

Sif: I did.  Thor: True, but I supported you.

“ What happened, silver tongue turned to lead?”

Loki’s entire storyline.

Sif.

Loki using magic and daggers-- his fighting style is so interesting, wish we saw more of it.

“Go home little princess.” “Damn”

Loki being touched by the frost giant.

Loki more actively protecting the warriors three and Sif on Johtunheim than Thor.

Loki’s face while listening to the argument between Odin and Thor.

Darcy: Does he need CPR, because I totally know CPR.

Darcy: Yeah, we can tell you’re hammered, it's pretty obvious.

Jane: I grazed him, but she tasered him.  Darcy: Yes, I did.

The number of times Jane hits Thor with a car.

Loki’s confrontation with Odin and the pure emotion that Hiddleston portrays in that moment.

Thor’s new found love of pop tarts and coffee

Next time you decide to taser someone make sure he’s already in the car.

Jane and Darcy’s reactions to Thor’s attractiveness.

“I used to know this scientist.  I pioneer in gamma radiation.  SHIELD showed up and I never saw them again.”

The first introduction to Hawkeye...being told to grab a gun but taking the bow and arrow instead.

Barton: You want me to slow him down sir or are you going to send in more guys for him to beat up.

Thor: You’re big- fought bigger.

Barton: I am starting to root for this guy.

Science Fiction as a precursor to science fact.

Science Fiction is just science we don’t understand yet.

My realization that even as early as the first Thor film Thor and Loki’s earth fashion sense was already very much established- high power businessman vs. “very comfortable/casual”-- symbolic, maybe.

The fact that Loki as a villain is perfection-- he is a match for Thor, he is personable, his motivations are similar but he has different methods, and you can see some reason in them.

Donald Blake shout outs.

Loki going from being rather meek at the beginning compared to his second return to Johtunheim to strike a deal with Laufey.

The fact that Loki clearly had no intention of letting Laufey kill Odin.

Heimdal’s learning that Loki is a better sorcerer then he was given credit for and can cloak himself even from the gatekeeper.

Thor and Jane bonding over science/magic.

We got xena, Jackie chan and Robin hood.

“Found you!”

“Is that one of Stark’s?”

Thor’s sacrifice- I love the drama of it.

Thor’s powers being returned- again, very dramatic.

So this is how you normally look-- it’s a good look.

Loki: I never wanted the throne! I only wanted to be your equal.

Thor pinning Loki just by putting the hammer on his chest.

Loki: I could have done it, father!Loki’s look of devastation when he is again rejected by his father.

Thor Dark World

Ta Da!

Loki totally ignoring the chaos of battle around him as he reads a book.

“I like her.”

You’ll what? Kill me? Evidently, there will be a line.

Loki: Now they’re firing at us.  Thor: Thank you for the commentary Loki, it's not at all distracting.

Loki and Thor teaming up and using Loki’s magic in battle... I would have loved to have seen more of this team up happening in the films

To be honest, the only real saving grace of this movie was Loki... which I can get behind.

“I didn’t do it for him.”

Loki lecturing Thor about his escape plan and Thor pushing him out the open hatch in their ship.

Loki being revealed on the throne.

“Oh dear, is she dead?”

“I think you missed a column”

Loki’s reaction to Frigga’s death.

Loki’s look after having yelled at his mother.

Frigga attempting to make Loki’s imprisonment comfortable, she will never not see him as her son.

Who put me there! (There are so many levels to that statement and the acting is amazing).

Thor Ragnarok

Soundtrack

The whole play that Loki had written for himself and his pure enjoyment of it while pretending to be Odin.

“Beg your pardon?”

“You had one job. Just the one.”

“I am not a witch.” “How come you dress like one?” “Hey (offended).”

Thor’s powers

“I’ve been falling for 30 minutes!”

Hela-- love her-- a little anti-climatic ending.

Loki’s epic eye roll.

“Oh shit.”

Thor totally fangirling over Valkyrie.

Thor’s story about when he and Loki were 8 and Loki pretended to be a snake before stabbing him.

“It’s in my brain now”

Thor being full out God of Thunder and the soundtrack during the scene is amazing.

“I am not doing get help.”

“Do you have a better plan?” “No.” “We’re doing it.”

Loki cheering the Hulk smashing Thor.

Loki using his daggers again...I still wish we got to see more of that.

Your savior is here.

“I saw you coming.”  “Of course you did”

“I’ve never met this man in my life.” “He’s my brother.” “Adopted.”

“I’m here.”

Avengers

There is something I greatly enjoy about the shot of Loki being taken in shackles down the hallway of the Shield based-- he definitely still feels in control even then.

Learning to become a team and not just automatically being a well-oiled machine.

Tony and Bruce’s science bromance

There will always be men like you.

Loki: I am listening.

Tony: Doth mother know you wearath her drapes.

Fury: 10 bucks says your wrong...Cap paying up on his bet with Fury.

Cap’s simple response: You should have left it in the ocean.

Avengers theme

I’ve got red in my ledger, I’d like to wipe it out.... the whole scene between Loki and Nat and the changing power dynamics during it is simply great writing and acting. And the end line of Nat’s being, “Thank you for your cooperation,” to show she came out on top in that battle is extra awesome.

She turns out not be another pretty face--- and then Natasha proceeds to annihilate them single-handed

Coulson calling Natasha through her targets phone then arguing with him on the phone that she’s too busy working, while also being tied up.

Natasha being convinced to leave her mission by being told Barton was compromised.

Bruce is on the run but still trying to do good.

Mark Ruffalo as Bruce

“No its won by soldiers”...fade into Captain America’s first intro in the film.

Tony: Like Christmas, but more me.

12% of a moment.

Tony: his first name is agent.

Pepper:  Is this about the Avengers initiative...which I know nothing about.  Tony:...I didn’t qualify for.  Pepper: I didn’t know that either.  Tony: Apparently I am volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others.  Pepper: That I did know.

Phil and Pepper being chummy with each other...I would have enjoyed more of this.

Coulson totally fan-boying over Cap.

Coulson: I watched you while you were sleeping.

Natasha:  I thought Coulson was going to swoon.  Has he asked you to sign his trading cards yet?  They’re vintage, he’s very proud.

Bruce:  They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container? (sees its actually going to take flight instead) Oh no, this is much worse (in complete sarcasm).

Cap immediately accepting Bruce.

How obviously uncomfortable Bruce is upon first going on the helicarrier surrounded by people.  Such good acting.

Cap: Mr. Stark. Tony: Captain

Fury: Ant, meet boot.

Stark needing entrance music to confront Loki.

The near instant tension between Cap and Tony after capturing Loki.

Loki: I am not overly fond of what follows.

Cap: Stark, we need a plan of attack.  Stark: I have a plan, attack.

Loki: I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness.

Tasha: He’s killed 80 people in two days.  Thor: He’s adopted.

Cap: I knew that reference!

Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics.  Tony: Last night.

Tony: I am a huge fan of how you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Tony: An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome.

Bruce being uncomfortable naming the Hulk and calling him ‘the other guy’

Bruce looking so uncomfortable during the first act of the film

Tony and Cap bringing up phase 2 at the same time in two different ways-- action and intelligence.

Tony: I am sorry Nick, you were lying.

Bruce: I am not leaving just because you get a little twitchy.

Tony: How is this now about me?  Cap: I am sorry, isn’t everything.

Cap: You may not be a threat but you better stop acting like a hero. Tony: Like you?  Everything special about you came out of a bottle. (pretty much this entire conversation)

Cap: put on the suite let’s find out.  Tony: I am not afraid of you old man. (explosion) Cap: Put on the suite.  Tony: Yep.

Cap: It seems to run on some form of electricity.  Tony: Well, you’re not wrong.

Loki: Are you ever not going to fall for that?

Phil: So that’s what it does.

Man: You an alien...no...well, then son you’ve got a condition.

Tony: He wants a monument with his name plastered...son of a bitch.

Thinking he is going to die wants to call and talk to Pepper.

Tony: We have a hulk.

Tony: We may not be able to protect the earth but you can damn well be sure we’ll avenge it.

Cop: Why the hell should I take orders from you.  ( Cap destroys some aliens...cop then immediately obeys orders.)

Bruce: That’s my secret... I am always angry.

That epic Avengers assemble round shot.

Barton not even looking while he makes a kill shot.

Fury: I recognize the council as made a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I’ve elected to ignore it.

Hulk saving Tony

The “A” left on Stark tower.

Avengers Age of Ultron

The reaction of the Avengers when discovering Barton’s family life.

The fact that Barton has a normal family life.

Language.

Please be a secret door...yay!

Tony: Good talk.  Random Hydra Extra: No it wasn’t

The teamwork in the opening scene

I somehow found myself shipping Nat and Bruce.

“A great deal of complaining and tales of torn deltoids.”- Thor

“He’s the boss”- Tony about Cap

“He’s fast and she’s weird” - Maria Hill

“What kind of monster would allow a German scientist to experiment on him in order to protect his country?”- Cap to Hill

“Unlike you, I don’t have a lot of time...will...Thor be there”

Sam: following cold leads on our missing person's case (Bucky).

“He’s also a huge dork...chicks dig that.”- Natasha flirting with Bruce by describing him...then Cap totally shipping them.

Cap: I’ve seen her flirt up close...As may be the world’s leading authority on waiting too long...don’t.  Bruce: What do you mean up close?

The team trying to lift the hammer.

Cap: Together.  Tony: We’ll lose.  Cap: Then we’ll do that together too.

Black Panther references

Tony admitting that watching his friends die is not as bad as watching them die and he doesn’t.

Tony: I cracked into the Pentagon when I was in high school on a dare.

Cap: I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science created was me.

Barton: You’re no match for him, Captain.  Cap:...Thanks, Barton.

Natasha: Cap, keep them occupied.  Cap (out of breath): What do you think I’ve been doing?

Wanda....everything Wanda

Wanda: Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it; where do you think he gets that?

Vision handing Thor’s hammer to him like its no big deal.

No one listening to Pietro so he comes back with a gun...”get off your asses.”

Cap: You get killed, walk it off....you didn’t finish....what were you napping.

I actually never realized just how snarky Steve is in this movie.

The teamwork between Thor and Cap is awesome.

Wanda’s entrance as an Avenger...YES!!!!!

Cap: We are not clear...we are really not clear.

Pietro: Keep up old man.  Barton: No one would know...no one...last time I saw him Ultron was sitting on him...quick little bastard.

The fact that the above line was improvised by Renner.

Thor:...I am running out of things to say....you ready.

Pietro’s sacrifice. Wanda’s reaction after feeling it.

Barton names his son after both Natasha and Pietro.

Cap and Tony arguing that Vision picking up the hammer doesn’t count...and an elevator is also not worthy.

Wanda: I’ll protect it (looks at Hawkeye). It’s my job.

Vision: He’s right, he hates you the most.

Hulk having an obvious soft spot for Natasha

Natasha opening up to Bruce about her past.

Tony: Like the old man said, together.

Natasha: Still think you’re the only monster?

The whole idea of what makes a monster and how many people view someone else or themselves as a monster is so interesting and play a huge role in characterization.

Steve refusing to leave the flying city as long as there was even one civilian left there... Nat agreeing with him, “There are worse ways to go.”

Fury’s entrance and Steve’s, “Fury, you son of a bitch.”

Avengers Infinity War

Cap’s entrance by walking out of the shadows

Tom Holland’s improvising his death scene.

We don’t want to kill you, but we will.

Earth just lost her best defender.

Wanda being a complete badass-- she literally destroyed a stone with one hand and held off a nearly fully powered Thanos with the other

Caps glorious beard.

“I see you copied my beard.”

Strange seeing only ONE possible win in thousands...then giving up the stone... we’re in the endgame now...it was the only way.

Shuri making Bruce feel like an idiot.

Someone get this man a shield.

Steve and T’Challa running to the front of the battle line.

“I hope they remember you.”

Bucky alive and well

You speak groot...it was an elective.

Bring me Thanos!!! (In fact, the entire scene of Thor arriving to join the fight is cinematic gold)

Thanos on the farm-- yes, let them reiterate he won...like wow... you don’t get that much

What was she doing up there all this time?

“She’s not alone.”

Loki revealing the tessaract...trying to take Thanos on alone...and getting in one last jab with, “You will never be a god.”

Quill attempting to mimic Thor’s voice.

Rabbit

Any interaction between Thor and Rocket

Rocket engaging Thor in a meaningful conversation to comfort him-- such a huge growth is seen in his character.

Quill: What kind of weapon are we talking about here.  Thor: The Thanos killing kind.  Quill: Don’t you think we should all have a weapon like that.

“Stop messaging his muscles.”

Thor: Your bodies crumble as your minds collapse into madness.  Rocket: Is it weird I want to do it even more now?  Thor: A little bit.

Thor: He’s never fought me.  Rocket: Yes he has.  Thor: He’s never fought me twice.

It will kill you.  Thor: Only if I die. 

I’m way past asking for permission.

The 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% you.

Rocket being picked up by Bucky and both continuing to shoot.

Oh, I’ll get that arm.

Thor being heartbreakingly optimistic and hiding his pain behind a smile until Rocket asks, “What if you’re wrong?” and Thor responds, “What more could I lose?” and Rocket’s, “I could lose a lot.”

The snap...”Oh god.”

You should have gone for the head.

You’re an Avenger now.

Peter: I should’ve gone home but it was such a long way down... If anything it’s kind of your fault that I am here. (Tony’s face is great)

Tony: The kid has seen more movies.

Tony and Thanos’ confrontation.

The adults are talking.

Steve giving his all to hold back Thanos with his bare hands and Thanos’ face of momentary confusion that a single man could hold him back even for a second.

My constant wondering what the result would have been if Tony and Cap were together in any of the scenes-- they work best together despite their contrasting personalities.

Doctor Strange

An arrogant man being forced to reconsider his world view and grow

Strange’s reaction to killing a man is perfect for the character but also just great acting from Ben.

Strange being called Master Strange and not wanting the title and being very adamant about not wanting the responsibility

Refusing to kill and being called a coward for it, but refusing to budge from his belief which results in a very interesting and wholly creative end battle... and fully earning and owning the title of Master.

Strange: You lack imagination.  (No you lack a spine).

Dormmamu, I’ve come to bargain.

A hero actually using an infinity stone.

Say what you want about this film but I honestly think it has a great character arc for Strange.

The cloak.

Strange’s jokes.

Strange using astral projection to learn more.

The Incredible Hulk

It was better than the first one...remake it with Mark Ruffalo and we’ll talk.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Soundtrack

Introduction to Star-Lord

The mugshot line up and jailbreak

“You said it yourself bitch, we’re the guardians of the galaxy”

Dance off distraction... also perfect part of his characterization.

Quill trying to get Gamora to join in on the dance off.

The circle moment where Quill first becomes emotionally open and asks for help-- ending with Rocket’s “We’re all standing now.”

Peter coming to terms with his mother’s death as signified by his finally opening her final gift to him.

We are groot.

Rocket’s commentary while on the public while tracking down Quill

Rocket: What’s a Racoon?  Quill: You are stupid.  Rocket: Ain’t no thing like me except me.

Rocket’s bed fur.

Gamora: You must be joking.  Rocket: No I really heard they find you attractive.

Let’s just say I really like Rocket.

Quill: A bomb? And you just leave it laying around? Rocket: I was going to put it in a box.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

The Guardians team...this movie was pretty disappointing in most areas but I did enjoy the interactions among the characters.

Ego brainwashing Quill through so much of the film to convince him that he is above his team and be swayed to Ego’s side

The bodies of Ego’s children reveal

Yondu being revealed to be the hero and the real father figure

You look like Mary Poppins...Is he cool....Yeah... I am Mary Poppins y’all.

Peter’s discovery of the cause of his mother’s death-- that moment is amazing cinema

Ego: You are a god...if you kill me you’ll be just like everyone else.  Quill: What’s so wrong with that? (aka being perfect doesn’t mean shit)

By the end, the Guardians become a family.

Rocket and Yando interaction... they’re both assholes that care.

Rocket’s shock that the colors shined for Yondu in his death... Quill accepting and sharing in Rocket’s pain in that moment.

Spiderman Homecoming

If you’re nothing without the suite then you shouldn’t have it.

The car intense car scene-- amazing cinema there

Peter: Come on Peter...come on, Spiderman. 

Training wheels protocol

If you even cared you’d actually be here.

The adult is talking.

Peter is pretty bad at keeping his secret.

MJ reveal

Peter deciding to continue being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman for a while longer.

Happy having kept a ring on him for years.

Peter speaking revealing he can understand and speak Spanish when the shop keeper talks about Aunt May.

Ant-Man

The father-daughter relationship is adorable.

“I hope you don’t catch him.”

My days of breaking in and stealing shit are done.  What do you want me to do? (I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.)

Scott as a father.

Ant-Man and Wasp

The montage of what Scott does in his spare time while under house arrest.

Again...father/daughter relationship.

The fact that Scott and Paxton go from viewing each other with low opinions in the first movie to seeing each other like family... it's so healthy.

Black Panther

Killmonger’s entrance into the throne room and very nonchalantly stating that he wants the throne before demanding to be asked who he is and letting it rip.  The calm to intense anger is awesome.

This corset is really uncomfortable so can we wrap this up and go home?

What are THOOOSSEE?!

Everyone is shooting at me...wait let me put on my helmet.

Okay...let us just assume most of this list would consist of the wonder that is princess Shuri.

“Americans”

Great another broken white boy for us to fix.

T’Challa’s growth as a character by coming to understand the world differently through Killmonger’s actions.

The fact that T’Challa and Killmonger actually want similar things but come into conflict by their complete opposite ways of going about accomplishing their goal.

Stand up, you are a king.

The fact that T’Challa surrounds himself with females rather than men as his most loyal, fierce, and intelligent people.

Killmonger and T’Challa sharing a sunset and having a moment of understanding before Killmonger’s death.

The truth behind Killmonger’s reasoning and goals.

“Would you kill me, my love?”  “For Wakanda?  Without question.”

You can’t blame me, I almost died.

The moment I believe T’Challa became king: You were wrong! All of you were wrong!  We let the fear of our discovery stop us from doing what is right!

.....I’ll add more, I’ve just been working at it for so long as I rewatched the films I am just posting it now and will add on later

#things fangirls say #marvel #mcu #captain america #tony stark #iron man #black panther #spiderman #guardians of the galaxy #thor #loki #film #doctor strange #avengers #text #steve rogers #bucky barnes #natasha romanov

[writing-in-the-impala]

You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

AU: Professor!Bucky Barnes/ Teacher!Bucky Barnes

Series Summary: You fall for your smoking hot literature professor Bucky Barnes (quite literally) what follows you never predicted would happen.

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill) and mentions of PTSD because it’s Bucky, SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride

Word Count: 3k 

A/N: I’m going to try and post a new part every Wednesday, please tell me what you think of the fic so far and how it can be improved. 

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | Part 1 Part 2

"So you like her?" Steve asked Bucky as they were sitting in Steve's office during their lunch break in Monday.

"No I didn't say that, I mean I do like her in a friend way, but I know you mean more than that it's just, when we talk I feel like we've been friends for years, it feels like we agree in every topic." Bucky explained.

"I mean she is easy to get along with but you do realise it sounds like you're falling in love with her and she's your student so just remember that." Steve said in a very authority voice.

"Yeah I know, that's why I bought Y/N up, am I allowed to be friends with her even though she's my student?" Bucky asked.

"Define friends." Steve said.

"I don't know like people who talk about things they are both interested in, hang out together along with other friends ect basically am I allowed to like sit with like you and Y/N in a bar talking even though she's my student?" Bucky asked.

"I mean that's a grey area because technically you could've known her before she was your student and you wouldn't just stop being friends with her because she's your student." Steve explained.

"So it's okay?" Bucky asked happily.

"Yeah I guess just to make sure your job is safe if anyone asks you were friends before she started to study here age-wise no one will question it."

"Okay thanks man." Bucky said. "Anyway I have a class to teach so I better get going." Bucky said standing up.

"Oh the one with Y/N?" Steve said suggestively.

"Shut up." Bucky grumbled before walking out the door.

On the other side of campus you were walking with Natasha to your classes after your usual lunch together. "So you've got Barnes now." Nat said nudging you and winking.

"Oh shut up." You said to her not being actually annoyed.

"I mean dude you've got to at least think he's hot? He's like one of the hottest on campus! I do miss his long hair though, I wonder why he cut it." Nat said.

"Oh it was because he thought it will help improve his relationship with his girlfriend at the time Dot, she said the army changed him too much and that he wasn't the man she fell in love with so he tried to look like the pre-army him to like show her he'll try for her but that kind of exploded in his face." You said casually.

"How do you know that?" Natasha asked confused.

"I told you we talked..." you said confused as to her confusion.

"But that's like deep, that's things you only share with someone you're really close with like he's the type of guy who doesn't open up, I mean he's known for being mysterious and closed off." Nat pointed out.

"I guess he was just feeling talkative that day." You shrugged it off.

"And generous seeing that he gave you his hoodie." Nat said winking.

"Okay I need to go to class and you need to shut up." You said before the two of you said your goodbyes. Class was pretty boring as usual, you sat making notes during the lecture while Bucky taught the class however when you were walking out Bucky said "Miss L/N may I have a word." And a million thoughts went through your mind, he sounded angry, the question was why.

"Mhm." You said before saying bye to one of your friends from class and going over to Buckys desk. "What's up?" Wow that sounded cocky you thought after saying it you wished you could take that back.

"Hi I just wanted to talk to you are you in a rush?" Bucky asked.

"No I'm this was my last lecture of the day I was just gonna go home." You said.

"Right okay, well I was wondering, I know this is very last minute but Steve, Sam and I were gonna go to see that movie we were talking about,"

"Right the one that's about that soldier from world war two." You replied.

"Yeah that one, well Sam quit on us last minute and now we have a spare ticket wanna come with us?" Bucky asked shocking you.

"Is that allowed?" You asked.

"See I wasn't sure so I checked with Steve and he says we could've been friends since before you were my student so technically yeah there's no rules against it, so yeah." Bucky replied positively.

"Oh right well then I'd love to go the trailer was so good for it!" You said.

"I know!" Bucky said sharing the same excitement. "Okay so the movie is at 8 at the downtown theater in Brooklyn if you want I can pick you up." Bucky offered.

"It's okay that's like litterealy two blocks from where I live." You said.

"Wait, same, how far did you have to take a taxi on Saturday?" Bucky asked intrigued.

"Yeah I ended up walking home because I realised I live a block away." You said and Bucky laughed.

"Wow, so technically drunk you nearly found her way home."

"Nearly." You said laughing. "Anyway I should get going I've got a lot of work to do at home plus you probably have classes to teach soon." You said.

"Yeah, see you at 8 then." He said with a warm smile.

"See ya." You said walking out the room. It only hit you when you got home, what are you getting yourself into. It's good that Steve will be there because other wise it would look so much worse than it actually was.

Later that day when you were getting ready to leave, meaning actually putting makeup on, throwing on your face hoodie and jeans Natasha began to bug you. "So what are your plans? I see you're wearing makeup that means you're actually leaving the house." She pointed out teasingly as you did your makeup.

"Shut. Up." You said trying to do your eyeliner.

"So who you meeting? I wasn't aware you had friends." She said as a joke.

"I have friends." You said defensively.

"Mhm like your teacher." She pointed out.

"Would you please stop." You said as you went to grab your wallet from your room.

"Okay okay so who you meeting?" Nat asked.

"To meet some friends for fucks same Nat I've said it a million times."

"Yeah but you keep avoiding saying who, wait it's Barnes isn't it?" You didn't answer her. "It is. Is my child gonna bang the hot teacher I'm so proud." She said all ecstatic.

"I need to leave I'll be late and just FYI it's not just me and Barnes, Rogers is coming too." You said from the doorway and heard Natasha about "Threesome." As you closed the door. The walk to the cinema was short and when you walked in you immediately spotted Bucky in the corner leaning against a wall and talking with someone on the phone. "No Steve... Okay, okay you have litterealy five minutes so hurry... Oh Y/N is here, Steve hurry." Bucky said ending the call as you approached him. "Hi." He said with a bright smile.

"Hi." You replied returning a smile.

"So Steve lost track of time that's why he isn't here yet he said he'll hopefully get here before the movie starts." Bucky said rolling his eyes.

"Your friends are extremely unreliable." You said as a joke.

"Tell me about it." Bucky replied jokingly. "Anyway I was just about to get in the line for popcorn and stuff join me?" Bucky asked and you nodded.

"So what made Steve loose track of time?" You asked.

"Stark." Bucky said with a huff.

"You sound like you don't like him." You pointed out.

"No it's not that, he doesn't like me." Bucky said with a hint of sadness.

"How come?" You asked curiously.

"I um, I was forced to do some stuff back in, um, war and uh he hates me for something I did and I get it I hate me for it but I've tried to apologise I've tried to tell him I was under the control of some really bad guys and they made me do it but he wouldn't listen, but it's okay he has every right-" Bucky explained you could see him slowly trying to close off from you and his self doubt growing.

"Bucky whatever happened it's in the past. Look don't think about it I'm sorry I asked. Just don't focus on it." You said placing a hand on his arm and he gave you a short smile.

"Next!" A guy called out and you and Bucky went over to order you offered to pay for your own popcorn and drink but Bucky insisted on paying so you have up and let him. When you sat down in your seats Steve texted Bucky that he has to go back to work to pick up some stuff and that he wasn't going to be able to make the movie. You and Bucky sat through the adverts talking and being the most annoying people in the cinema, you'd sit there saying "We have to see that, oh that looks shit." Or commenting on adverts like "what are they even trying to advertise like how does this make me want to buy that car?" Or "I want to but that car look how pretty it is." When the movie started you stopped being annoying and actually started watching the movie. The movie was great it portrayed war realistically but you were scared how this will affect Bucky seeing that he had to experience things like the events on screen, at one moment when they began talking about some Nazi's group called Hydra you litterealy saw Bucky tense. Not too long after he leaned over and whispered in your ear "I'll be back soon." Before standing up and walking out the screening. Bucky walked straight outside the movie theatre and began to have a panic attack of sorts, he called Steve straight away and luckily Steve answered. "Stevie I can't." Was the first thing Bucky said when Steve answered. "Bucky? What's wrong? Is everything okay?" His panicked best friend said.

"I can't breathe." Bucky said.

"What happened? Where are you?" Steve was panicking too now you could hear it in his voice.

"The film, it's so real I felt like I was watching things that happened to us, and then there was Hydra and it was all about how they tried to make the first soldier and that's when I just fuck I want to jump off a bridge, the people I hurt, what the fuck am I doing? Pretending I can live a normal life I'm a monster, a murderer." Bucky went on a rant.

"Bucky, Bucky, remember what the therapist said it's unhealthy to blame yourself it wasn't you it was Hydra it was the winter soldier." Steve tried to relax Bucky and relieve him of the pain.

"I am the winter soldier! I have the metal arm! I've got the damaged head! I have the body count!" Bucky shouted now pacing infront of the theatre.

"Okay Buck there's no point talking about this over the phone, walk home I'll meet you there I'm getting in the car now." Steve instructed Bucky.

"Steve you don't have to." Bucky said feeling guilty.

"Pal I'm with you till the end of the line, you know that, hell you said that." Steve pointed out. "Now just head straight home okay if anything happens call me." Steve instructed Bucky.

"Okay." Bucky said, at that moment he noticed you approaching him. You could see his whole demeanour changed he looked more rugged and broken then before you entered the movie and it was as if his eyes got more dark and held more pain than before. "Hey is everything okay? You've been out here a while." You asked when you got outside.

"Yes. Everything is okay. Steve just needs my help, I can't really talk about it. I'm sorry." Bucky replied sounding a lot more monotone and robotic than usual.

"Okay I was scared that the movie upset you because you know the subject." You said honestly.

"No. It didn't." Bucky stated harshly.

"Okay so I'm guessing you're going to meet Steve now huh?" You said .

"Yes." Bucky replied.

"All right, I'm gonna go home, wish Steve the best okay I hope that whatever he's going through it'll be okay." You said with a warm smile.

"Okay." Bucky said avoiding eye contact with you as if he just wanted to leave.

"Okay then. Thanks for inviting me, um, bye I guess." You said awkwardly.

"Bye." Bucky said turning around and walking the other way, you began walking towards your house thinking about how weird that interaction was when you heard footsteps behind you, you turned around and saw Bucky. "Wait, let me walk you home it's dark, I'm sorry." Bucky said in a voice that was more normal to his usual voice but he was still tense like he was experiencing major anxiety.

"No Bucky you don't have to Steve needs you." You said honestly.

"It's fine I'll walk you home it's the right thing to do this is New York, it's dark, it's not safe." Bucky stated.

"Okay thank you." You said and the two of you walked slowly not saying a word it wasn't a content silence you wanted to ask a million questions all to do with how Bucky was acting but you remained mostly silent. "I need to quickly go into this shop." You said as you and Bucky passed a 7/11.

"Great so now I'm running errands." Bucky said quietly and you took offence.

"Go. I'm not asking for you to walk with me Bucky I'm fine. Thank you for walking with me but currently I think you're the most likely person on the street to stab me." You said without thinking. You meant that he was angry with you not that he was a murderer bit he didn't know that. His face dropped as did yours, he turned around and began walking the other way. "Bucky, I meant you're angry with me I'm sorry I chose my words poorly." You said following after him.

"I don't care."

"Wait what's your favourite sweets?" You asked and Bucky stopped dead center and turned around confused.

"What?" Bucky asked.

"Just answer the question." You said.

"M&Ms" Bucky replied.

"Wait here." You said before running into the shop and hoping Bucky doesn't leave. You returned handing Bucky a bag. "Here take this it's for you and Steve. The KitKat's are for him." You said.

"How do you know he likes KitKats?" Bucky questioned.

"He once told me that whenever he was sad his mum would but him KitKats that they are a symbol of happiness for him and that whenever he eats one he just somehow feels one hundred percent better." You simply said shrugging your shoulders. Bucky didn't reply he just stared at you in amazement you did something like this for someone out of pure generosity, you remembered stories people told you so you could make them feel better you were perfect yet somehow moments earlier he shouted at you even though everything you did was kind hearted. "Anyway I'm sorry for upsetting you so I bought you M&Ms I hope there's no hard feelings." You continued.

"Thank you." Bucky said quietly feeling guilty for how he treated you it was selfish this whole lie about him going to help Steve was selfish just because he was afraid of telling you the truth. He stood there and watched you walk away before walking home. When he got there Steve was al rey waiting for him, they talked and talked. Mostly about Y/N. "Steve I'm scared I'm so attached, nothing good can come of this, not only the fact that I end up hurting everyone I'm also her teacher!" Bucky exclaimed his frustration.

"What do you mean you're attached?" Steve questioned.

"It's like I can't stop thinking about her, on the short time we've been close I've told her more then most people I know combined, she knows more about me then some of my so called friends, hell she knows some stuff I was afraid to tell Dot, I'm not afraid with Y/N." Bucky explained.

"You told her about the winter soldier?" Steve questioned in shock.

"No. I don't talk about him. But I told her about the situation with Stark avoiding what I did as the soldier just saying I did something really bad." Bucky replied.

"Buck do you maybe think there's a reason for why you feel so comfortable with Y/N and why when your friendship is getting more serious you're trying to push her away?" Steve asked the leading question.

"Because we're good friend that's it Steve."

"I feel like you and me both know it's becoming more than that and that scares you because she's your student, because you don't like to let people in anymore like you used to, because of what happened with Dot..." Steve tried to reason with Bucky.

"No I can't I barely know her, plus she's my student we're just friends that's it."

"I said the same thing about Peggy." Steve pointed out and the realisation dawned on Bucky he was catching feelings for you and it was too late to stop them now.

Part 4 | More stuff I wrote

Tags (send me an ask and I’ll add you): @iconictaurus @whosmarisaaarw @grayxswan@sideeffectsofyou

#you always hurt the ones you love #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #james barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james buchanen barnes #teacher!bucky barnes #teacher bucky barnes #teacher bucky barnes x reader #Marvel MCU #mcu rp #MCU #marvel #Steve Rogers #captain america #the winter solider x reader #the winter solider fanfiction #the winter solider imagine #the winter soldier #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky is not a villain #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x you #marvel au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x ofc #tony stark

[velvet-tread]

A theory, or wild speculation, or whatever; anyway there’s some Bellarke

Here follows a collection of thoughts that don’t quite add up to a thesis yet

Season 5 had one of the best runs of episodes I’ve seen on this show ever - strong themes, great setups, impactful character beats. 9 straight episodes of near-perfection.

But imo it fell short in the last couple of episodes. How short depends on your perspective, but my feelings about it range from mildly disappointed to Jane Austen mourning weeds and little weepy handkerchiefs. Either way - the collapse into fudgy incoherence and loose ends actually undid all of the great work the show did in the first 9 episodes.  WHICH IS FUCKING INFURIATING. 

The show painstakingly put together so much excellent character and relationship set ups which either never materialised or didn’t pay off or just fizzled out. And now I’m left wondering what it all meant, which not only frustrates me on a viewer level but also makes me feel like an idiot for wildly overestimating what the show was doing with the material.

*looks at the X Files forever*

Just to pick a few things out at random.

a) Bellarke were put in conflict, but there was no emotional pay-off, the framing was all over the place and the resolution basically a post-script. 

b) We spent the series agonising about the wisdom of going to war on a fragile planet, but the actual harbinger of Apocalypse 3.0 (I can’t believe I have to write that) was someone only tangentially related to that storyline, whom every single named character bar Kabby was trying to stop. So was everyone wrong? Or just ineffectual? The latter is far less interesting and more depressing tbh.

c) The worms

d) Memori

e) I could go on

I repeat, I would not be so pernickety if the run up to the s5 finale hadn’t been so good, and the set up so promising.  The idea of a reboot was genius.  The Bellarke separation was genius.  Blodreina = genius.  Mama Bear Clarke = genius. Eligius = genius. Spacekru = genius. 

But ultimately?  Can ANYONE tell me what s5 meant?  What difference did any of those things make in the end?  What conflict was resolved satisfactorily?  I’d argue that the Blodreina/Blake siblings arc worked the best (although *howl* Bellamy was never given any in-universe context for Blodreina) but generally I’m left with the feeling that very few of these stories or conflicts had any meaning whatsoever, and especially not Bellarke.

So I have a theory and I stand to be corrected as ever because I am very much processing.

I think there’s a strong possibility Jason and/or the 100 writers room began rewriting the back end of season 5 as they were filming the early season 5 material.

Given Jason’s comments immediately after the finale, I’m inclined to believe that the rewrites, if I’m right, were mostly around Bellarke and the Flame.  Specifically, I think that at some point when they were filming mid-season, Jason changed his mind about how Bellarke-y he wanted the season to be, if at all.  And on top of that, I think as he was pitching season 6 around that time, he realised that he wanted to go full-hog with the Flame in season 6. 

Those two things might be connected.  Perhaps Jason realised the full extent to which he coud “bring Lexa back” without actually bringing back ADC, around the Flame.  Perhaps he wants to recreate the show’s Clexa glory days.  And perhaps romantic Bellarke isn’t compatible with that vision. Dumb, in my view, but hey.

Perhaps, he just realised that he can’t doesn’t want to write romantic Bellarke.

If that’s the case, then well, *shrugs*.  Less satisfying for me, but I don’t own this shit.  I do, however, own the prerogative to speculate wildly on how and why they squandered all that promise in the last couple of eps.

Certainly, a mid-season back end emergency rewrite would explain a few things:

1.The loose threads and wonky framing

For example, Clarke’s fury at Bellamy for putting the Flame into Madi’s head was just...dropped?  Why? When it was SUCH A BIG DEAL in 509?  What were we supposed to the think about that?  What was she? And Bellamy, who didn’t appear to even remember who Clarke was until he saw her at the ship, being angry at her? Really? Where? Since when? And importantly - why? 

I’m a writer and it’s my experience that the best planning you do for a piece is when you approach it at the start.  You brainstorm.  You get your thoughts together.  You address each problem and question and mould it into a whole so it all makes sense.

But when you finish the thing and you look at it and you think - the thesis is wrong! I need to restructure the entire thing!  That’s when mistakes get made.  Especially if, for example, you’re up against a deadline or in this case a filming schedule, the threads that you would usually pick up at the planning stage or in the editing stage get missed.  And because they are part of the final editing process, there’s nobody around to pick them up and properly address them.

Result?  Fudge.

2. The curious ambivalence about Becho. 

Look I ADORE Becho. They are soft, and loving and real af.  I fully believe that was always intended to be the case. 

I think Becho was set up as a benchmark, for Bellamy in particular, a symbol of his peace and prosperity in space,. And, of course, I think it was also set up as a point of conflict for Octavia and Clarke. In the case of the latter, it was definitely a silent love triangle. How do you explain the love triangle framing on two separate occasions? How else do you explain the two separate interviews Jason gave about love triangles?

But here’s what Becho was not set up as: a relationship that was supposed to develop on-screen and take the audience with it.  Becho had no arc this season. It wasn’t “a story” per se, however much Tasya and Bob’s chemistry electrified me. It was the backbone to *other* stories. 

So, why, then, were Becho given every single Bellarke beat, especially towards the end? A background of forgiveness? Check. A steadying influence on each other. Check. The person they’re fighting for? Check. Plotting together? Check? Battle couple? Check.

Contrast with Bellarke. Forgiveness?  That’s something for Bellamy and Madi to discuss without Clarke!  Battle plans? Clarke will do that with Echo instead (oh my GODDD my ot3 came to life there *clutches hands and wishes upon a star*). A steadying influence on each other? Maybe! Until they forget each other’s names when they’re not in a scene together! People they’re fighting for? Definitely not each other.

Meanwhile bts, the messages were VERY confusing.  So the show was giving us a Becho that, while very real, was not the core of the story. Which was probably why, in early season 5, some deep Becho nods (the extra forehead touch, the “I love her”) found their way on to the editing room floor. All legit. But then, the script-to-screens then BROUGHT THOSE THINGS BACK to the viewer’s attention?  Why? Why give us those things even though they were cut? Was it because maybe, the show had changed direction after the fact?

And don’t get me wrong. I loved every second of the show’s affirmation of Becho. I still adore them.  But how does it fit into the jigsaw of the show as it stands?  It doesn’t really.  In fact, if you just swap Echo for Clarke in Bellamy’s storyline this season, you would have a hard time telling me that this isn’t exactly what romantic Bellarke would look like - the only difference is that in terms of screentime, Becho’s antagonism has had far more time, and Bellarke’s forgiveness/working together has had more time. IN-UNIVERSE, IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  It’s why shipping Becho comes so easily for me. And if the show wanted to frame that as Clarke’s personal tragedy, I would get it and probably relish it. But the trouble is, I’m having a hard time understanding what the show *is* saying about Becho and Bellarke, because it seems to be constantly changing its mind.

WHICH. BY THE WAY. MADE THAT ENTIRE WAKE-UP MARPER VLOG SEQUENCE A MASSIVE DAMP BELLARKE SQUIB.

SORRY.

3. The Flame suddenly jumping to prominence as a tool rather than as a symbol late in the season.

The show went from framing the Flame as a threat to this kid, who had hidden from it her whole life, for whom it meant literal nightmares of people burning at the stake, something for Clarke to rightly protect her from, to something that turned her into a mouthpiece for Lexa, to Clarke’s hostility to it being framed as “wrong”. There was an abrupt change of tone imo, to Clarke’s fears being justified to Clarke’s fears making her, and I quote Jason from an interview that nearly made me choke on my cereal, a “helicopter” mum.

Excuse me while I punch the nearest object to smithereens.

The Flame “gave” Madi battle ideas (which were different from Octavia’s how, exactly?) by Gaia’s bedside, with just a MANTRA? That whole scene felt cobbled together at the last minute. Like a film student’s badly edited homework.

It’s giving Clarke life lessons, ffs! 

*clenches fist*

The whole thing feels like a season 5 retcon, hastily put together to justify Madi still having the thing in her head for season 6, when it can do it’s victory lap for real.

4. The scenes that were dropped

a) Bob and Eliza both referenced a big Bellarke scene that got cut.  My guess? Not a romantic scene but some kind of Hakeldama that allowed them to hash out their various beefs with each other and probably involved some shit talking about the Flame.

b) And like, if that scene had some tenderness in it? Too Bellarke maybe? No, Bellarke BAD BAD BAD *stern looks*

c) also, wasn’t Echo supposed to have a sad scene of sitting in the snow and remembering Azgeda? That was supposed to be at the snowy back end of the season, but Echo had no sads really.  Only fierce spacekru love and some cuddles and some good sexy time. Was there an Echo sad that got cut? What was it related to?

5. The writers room walkout

Yeah. I don’t know what that means, but it sure means something.

Just fyi...for some context.  I love Becho and they currently own my heart but until recently Bellarke was very much my otp. Probably, deep down, it still is.

But I’m getting tired of running this race. I have no problem with the show doing a slow burn. I have no problem with platonic Bellarke. But I need consistency and, importantly, I need the show to remember that Bellarke are the backbone of this show. Their relationship - however you frame it - is the heart and without it the show is nothing but a collection of Elon Musk conspiracy theories on reddit.

JUST LETTING THEM HAVE A CONVERSATION =/= BELLARKE ROMANCE.

If you want them platonic, fine, you win. But gutting their relationship from the inside out to try to ward off the sniff of shipping is just counterproductive. It’s the lack of real, meaningful connection that really turned me off Bellarke this season, not the lack of kiss or lack of romantic framing. Early in the season? Yes, the set up was all there and it looked GREAT. But their conflict never got off the ground and we never got a cathartic resolution to show us the characters really, truly mean something to each other. 

Ultimately the show forgot that they were friends who love each other, and I just *clenches fist* can’t ship that.  Maybe that’s what the show wanted. But the flipside is that at this point I’m not really invested in their relationship in any context, which is why the end shot left me cold. I hope Bellarke hasn’t died in my heart forever but...idk it doesn’t look good.

#bellarke #rip my beautiful earth babies #you'll have a special place for me forever #but i can't run this obstable course anymore #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #tagging becho #too #also don't send me hate #i'll block you

[mimis-mm]

Hi, this is the one who asked for barista MC. OH MY GOD!! HOW DID YOU KNOW I AM CLUMSY😂😂😂😂. Im so in love with this. Now Im gonna let my imagination run wilder. What could happen for their first date😍😍😍😍😂😂😂. Thank you😘😘😘😘

lmao I’m actually watching you all day long who wouldn’t be a clumsy mess when Zen is complimenting them? So here goes your date with him, with of course a little something more to it. 

Valentine’s Day special

A.K.A. Zen with a barista MC too shy to ask him out part 2

part 1 here: x

Word count: 2 741 words

FYI: Valentine’s Day in Korea is celebrated mainly with the girls giving chocolates to boys/men they like platonically and handmade or higher quality bought to those they love. It’s the 14th March, during White Day, that boys do the same.

Warning: It gets slightly NSFW at the end, but nothing too lewd.

“[Y/N], it’s time for your date with Mister Handsome. ~” you hear your supervisor say while they pat on your shoulder.

Your cheeks take a pinkish color and you glance at the clock.  

“Wait, there’s still ten minutes to my shift.”

“I’ll cover you, girl.” They smile at you with a wink. “Besides, I don’t think you want to go to your first date with him, and on Valentine’s Day at that, while looking like that.”

She does a motion toward their hair and face with their hand, and it doesn’t take much IQ to know that they mean you look like shit. Well, considering the fact that you’re about to go out with someone who would put Apollo to shame. But… did they just say…

“It’s Valentine’s Day!?” You jump and almost smudge the pink heart you’re creating for the couple waiting their coffee.

Today is not the 13th? You were sure this morning that it was. Gosh, good thing you have the same shift for both days.  

Your superior laughs.  

“Yes, it is. Now go.” They take the cup and shoo you away.

You thank them and go to the employees’ changing room and open your locker. You’re greeted by a pair of black leggings and a deep red hoodie. Oh crap. You were in a hurry this morning and you just picked what fell in your hands. At least you get a point for being on point with the color scheme, right? You change from your uniform to your civil clothing and take a look at yourself in the mirror. You don’t look that bad, but your hair could use a little brushing and maybe some makeup wouldn’t hurt. So, you take care of that and after a few minutes, you put on your coat, take your bag and you’re ready to go.

You step outside of the employees’ room and your eyes are locked on the man sitting at one of the tables. His large back is facing you and he is hunched over the table, probably fidgeting with his phone. All you can see is his leather jacket, which enhances his imposing frame, and his short white hair. You walk towards him, then lightly tap on his firm shoulder. He looks at you and flashes you a bright smile with white teeth.  

“Are you ready to go?” He asks as he stands up.

You shake your head up and down quickly, too captivated by his beauty to be able to form a single word. He chuckles and reaches his hand out to you with his palm upward. Your reaction is to put your own hand on top, and you almost let out a whimper when Zen kisses the back of it without breaking eye contact with you. You can feel your entire face burning up and turning the same color of his crimson eyes.  

“Then, let’s get going, shall we?” He winks playfully at you.

“Yes,” you finally stutter after a few seconds.

He exits the café with you, holding your hand in his. It does feels funny, but not in a bad way. Maybe it’s because you’ve known each other for almost two months but never did hang out together, or maybe it’s just the blast of holding hands with a handsome man that you barely know anything about. Either way, it just feels right.  

“So, where are we going?” You ask as you look up at him.

“In a restaurant not far from here that I like to go from time to time. You must be hungry, right?“

Heck yeah. You could eat a whole fucking horse.

“Yes, thank you for your consideration,” you reply sweetly. Now is not the time to creep him out.

You two continue walking in a comfortable silence. A few couples are roaming the streets hand in hand, some even have matching scarves to fight against the cold winter wind. At the sight of them, your heart aches to the idea of doing the same with Zen. However, you can’t deny being confused on whether he would be willing to comply with it. After all, his style of clothing is screaming bad boy, but the moment he opens his mouth, he transforms into Prince Charming. So, who knows.

Your date stops, then enters in a fancy restaurant that claims to serve fine cuisine with the possibility to eat outside during the right season. You actually remember your colleagues talking about wanting to go eat there when they’ll have the time for. Hah, you’ll be able to tease them during your next shift.

“Thanks.” You whisper to Zen who is holding the door for you.

The interior is more spacious than you imagined, with even some banquets in the back. The place is obviously decorated with a few Valentine’s themed decorations, such as cardboard hearts hanging from the ceiling, bouquets of roses are scattered around on the different surfaces and a romantic music is playing in the background. A waitress comes to great you and Zen answers that he made a reservation an hour ago to the name of Hyun Ryu. She smiles politely at him and brings you to the back of the room, where she leaves two menus. Both you and Zen sit down and you hesitantly take off your coat, while he casually does it, revealing at the same time a rAT TAIL?

You guess that you must have a strange expression, because he looks at you with worry in his eyes. He finally breaks the awkward silence:

“Is there something wrong?”

“N-no!” Shoot. You may have said it a little too loudly. “It’s just… I didn’t know you had long hair?”

He blinks once, then looks down, only to jump at the sight of his own perfect white hair.

“Oh, I always protect them from the cold. It breaks the point, you see.” He chuckles while playing with a strand of it. He looks back at you. “You don’t seem to like it.”

Ack!  

“that’s not it! I’m just surprised, that’s all.” You make big gestures with your hands at the same time of trying to save the day. “It’s just, you know, damn.”

There’s a moment of silence, then he burst out laughing and tries to hide it by placing a hand on his mouth. He finally gets to articulate something between two laughers:

“I’m so sorry, but you’re just too cute. No one ever complimented my hair with a simple ‘damn’.”

You want to hide so badly. Not only because he thinks you’re cute, but also because you only said the truth partially and don’t want him to know what you actually think about his hair. That you just found out that long hair for a man is quite a turn on for you.  

Or maybe just for him?

Ugh. It doesn’t matter now, you probably won’t end the date in a bed. So no need to get ahead of yourselfor give yourself some weird scenarios.

You both order your dish, wait and then eat while talking about this and that, as a result, gives an answer to one of the biggest mystery of the café. The reason Zen only orders that famous organic honey and lemon tea of his is because it’s supposedly pretty good for the voice and he happens to be a musical actor. He is trying really hard to know more about you, which flatters you greatly. It’s not every day a handsome musical actor is excessively interested in you, a totally normal person.  

The waitress comes back and inquires on if you’re ready to pay, and how the bills are separated. You quickly answer, knowing that your date would want to pay for you.

“I’ll pay for both.”  

Zen looks at you with a semi shocked expression, not knowing how to react. It takes a few seconds for him to come back to his sense.

“Are you sure? I’m the one who invited you.”

“And I’m the one who accepted to come. Also, it’s Valentine’s Day and I didn’t bought any chocolate for you, so let me make up for it, please.”

He sighs, but soon nods with a smile.  

“Alright, if you put it that way.”

The woman takes off, coming back not even two minutes later with the bill. Well two bills. She gives one to Zen and explains that it’s for him to know how much it costs. You find it strange but didn’t think much of it since you’re composing your nip. You then give back the paying device, but notice Zen handing his paper back with a frown on his face.

“I won’t need it, thank you.” He says, his voice slightly dry.

She seems surprised, but still takes it back with a smile that, somehow, doesn’t reach the eyes. You glance at Zen and raise an inquisitive eyebrow, to which he only responds with a quick smile, chasing away the rudeness he had a few seconds ago on his face. You decide to brush it off and put on your coat instead. He quickly follows your lead, then you both go outside.

The temperature has gone up during the time you were inside. The snow has begun to melt a bit and some people even dare to unzip their coat.

“What do you want to do, princess?”

Your heart skips a beat at the nickname, but you’re trying to not let yourself get overwhelmed by your emotions. Is he trying to fluster you, or what? If that’s the case, then you won’t let yourself be without fighting back, so you smirk back and wrap your arms arounds his. You whisper with batting eyes:

“Hmm… We can just walk like this.”

You’re surprised to see his cheeks flaring up. He quickly looks away with a hand on his mouth, as if he wants to hides his embarrassment. Good, now he’s tasting his own medicine.  

“If you want to,” he says.  

His voice, huskier than usual, gives a sudden warm feeling in your lower abdomen.

Oh boi, you know this sensation. Maybe going there isn’t the best idea to keep this date in the romantic mood, and not something entirely different.  

You clear your throat and gently pull him by the hand, to which he complies without any protest. The streets are now more filled, making it a bit difficult to walking around freely. However, people get out of the way when they look up to you. Or, to be precise, they’re looking at Zen behind you.  

You both come across a public park that is almost empty, with the exception of a few small children along with their parents. You decide to continue your way through it, still holding Zen’s hand in yours. The place is filled with trees undressed of their leaves, swinging leisurely at the rhythm of the wind. You breathe deeply, taking the fresh and cold scent of this winter day in to relax. The only sounds you can hear are the laughers of the children, the birds singing and both of your footsteps on the snow. Your fingers entwine with his all on their own, squeezing his hand at the same time, to which he responds by doing the same.  

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” he whispers with a chuckle. “I wish I was as comfortable as you are.”

“Why are you saying that?” You ask as you look up to him.

His cheeks are still pink, but at this point, you’re not even sure if the cold is behind it or something else. He smiles, trying to brush off the tense feeling he has since the moment you curled up against him.

“Nothing, I just… haven’t had a girlfriend for more than five years. So, I’m quite nervous right now.” He pauses, then looks at you. “Please don’t look at me like that.”

“No, it’s not weird! I’m just surprised that someone so… perfect like you has been single for so long.” You whisper the last part, suddenly feeling all shy to compliment him.

He laughs bashfully before looking at you with a tender gaze. However, you catch a glint of slyness in it.  

“Well, I’m more than happy that I made you mess up your coffee that time.”

He winks playfully at you while you groan in embarrassment. Why must he make you remember that? Gosh, you were doing a great job at forgetting that it ever happened. You shake your head and stick your tongue at him, only to make him laugh.

You both continue your way, talking about some juicy news circulating around your job since you don’t really know what to talk about, but still want to hear his voice. At your surprise, he’s a real sucker for gossips and knowing people’s life. You go back to the busy streets and even enter in a few stores, joking with Zen about all the Valentine’s Day merchandises. He sometimes makes a few remarks about wanting to buy matching tops, which he ends up doing. To pay back the restaurant, he says. But you saw his eyes light up at the sight of the sweaters.  

When you step outside of a store, your belly is making dying whale noises, so you look up at the sky, seeing that the sun is setting down. Zen suggests to walk you home and you accept after thinking about it for a moment. You pull his by the hand, leading the way to your place. You two arrive at destination, then enter the building.  

You stop in front of your apartment door, then turn to face him. He stares at you, his ruby colored eyes staring at you in an intense manner, as if nothing else was present beside the two of you. The air is getting more and more heavy, with a tint of sultry in it. You gulp down, trying to make your throat less dry before you could speak in a coherent manner:

“Thank you for this date, Zen. It really was the best day I had in a while.”

He blushes lightly with his lips twitching as if he’s trying to control something he wants to tell so badly it’s making him lose his composure. He looks away for a second, then return his attention on you.

“Then, can I ask you something selfish?” He finally says in a low voice. “You can refuse if you’re not feeling at ease, though.”

You nod without breaking eye contact with him, but you can feel your inside going crazy, half-knowing what he’s about to request. He continues:

“Can I kiss you? I won’t try anything funny, I swear.”

The same warm, clenching feeling you had earlier takes your stomach by surprise, not to mention your entire face burning up. You’re such a mess that you’re barely able to shake your head up and down. Zen gently cups you face in his hands, then he leans slowly on you, making you shut your eyes in anticipation. Soon enough, you feel his soft lips on yours. An electric sensation runs through your entire body, and you can’t help but to surrender at the urge to pull him closer. He breaks contact, but quickly catches your lower lip in his own lips, sucking and nibbling on it while one of his hands caresses your shoulder. The overwhelming sensations draw a low and sensual moan out of you, making him groans. He rapidly pulls away, fleeing your gaze.  

“Sorry, babe.” Your thighs squeeze at his hoarse voice and the pet name. “I don’t want you to think I only went on this date just to bed you.”

He clears his throat, puts his hands in the pockets of his pants and risks a glance in your direction.

“It’s ok, I understand.”

There’s an awkward silence, so you decide to say the goodbyes first.

“So, I guess we’ll see each other tomorrow then.”

“Yes, have a great evening.”

You wave him goodbye then enters your apartment, closing the door behind you and leaning on it since you’re still a bit dizzy from the kiss. You touch your lips, still feeling his kiss on them, longing Zen’s presence already. There’s something inside of you that wants to call him back and bring his ass over here to finish from where you left off, but your rational side is screaming to take your time.

Is this how it’s like to be sexually frustrated?  

#silver94 #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger imagines #zen ryu #hyun ryu #mysme scenarios

[mona-stay]

Surprise - Peter Hale 

Request by anonymous Prompt pack don't believe Peter is engaged Pairing Peter hale x reader Warnings none pure fluff A/n sorry it's so short :)  Story

Few weeks ago Peter come into the loft during a meeting slamming the door shut. Derek raised a questioning eyebrow at his uncle. "she's staying in England, she said she can't quit her job because the kids need her! Well I need her too so we had an argument on Skype and I don't think she's talking to me now " Peter roared making everyone but Derek confused and scared of the angry wolf.

Peter walked over to the counter taking out a bottle of whisky. Peter couldn't get drunk but the burn the alcohol gave him was enough. The group of teenagers looked at Derek for answers to Peter's rant "Peter's girlfriend is in England working as a teacher and I'm guessing she's staying" Derek said watching his uncle pour another drink.

"Peter has a girlfriend?" Malia asked confused she didn't know of her father's relationship. "she must be crazy to date a psychopath like him" stiles said making Peter growl. "why have we never heard about her before" Lydia asked. "no I'm mean it who would be dumb enough to go out with him" stiles asked again in disbelief. Peter couldn't listen to this anymore getting up and going to his room while the pack still asked Derek questions in disbelief of Peter's relationship.

Now You was in Derek's loft, it was empty so you wondered round waiting for the Hales to come home.

Stiles and Lydia walked through the door "Scott said no one is here so why are we here" stiles asked. Lydia rolled her eyes "because we're gonna wait until someone gets back" she says walking into the loft.

"baby is that you" you shouted running down the staircase only to be meet by two strangers. You stopped stunned their reaction the same as yours. "who are you and what you doing in Derek's home" the fiery red head asked you.

"well my fiancee lives here, and I've come to surprise him" you sass back at them going to sit on the couch. "sorry that was bad can we start again, hi I'm stiles  and this is Lydia, were friends of Derek" the boy spoke with a sweet smile.

"where is he?" you asked looking at the pair. "he should be here soon he told us to meet him here" Lydia said joining stiles of the couch facing you. After a few moments of silence you got up walking round the loft.

"did you know Derek was even dating anyone?" Lydia asked stiles the second y/n left the room. "no" he replied confused "but I can see why he's been hiding her she's stunning" he said unsure to be impressed or jealous. "should we call him at let him his girlfriend is here?" She asked still looking in case you returned "no she wants to surprise him and derek has never told us about her I say we just wait" stiles said before a noise made him look.

When the loft door opened Derek walked in his eyes widened in surprise at the sight of you on the stairs. "der-bear" you shouted running into his arms for a hug earning coos from Lydia. "what are you doing here?" Derek asked you in happy surprise, "well I worked out what's important, so I quit my job and came home" you say. "well I got a few things to sort out, then we can have a good catch up" Derek suggested you nodding in agreement grabbing a book to read so you wasn't in his way.

They had been discussing a theory about a new supernatural creature in beacon hills. Stiles couldn't stop looking between y/n and derek with a stupid smirk. "why didn't you tell us you had a hot girlfriend?" stiles asked a little to loud.

Both you and Derek burst out laughing at him. "she's not my girlfriend stiles" Derek told him looking at you, now had tears in your eyes from laughing. "but.. But you told us Derek was your boyfriend" stiles said confused. Derek raised his eyebrows at you questioning stiles comment. "no I didn't I said my fiancee lives here you just assumed it was Derek" you laughed, coughing at the same time.

Stiles looked more confused then ever, Lydia on the other hand was working it out "she's dating Peter not Derek" she said to stiles as you and Derek still laughed at him. Stiles confusion was still there only now for a different reason.

"seriously your dating that lunatic, you sure he didn't pay you to say your with him?" he asked you looking back and forth at you and Derek. Before you could answer 2 more people walked into the loft, both instantly looking at you. "who's that" the boy asked "Scott, Malia this is y/n Peter's" Derek started "girlfriend" stiles finished disbelief still in his voice. "what Peter has a girlfriend" the boy Scott said making you roll your eyes. "I thought you said he was lying about that" Malia asked Scott and stiles "I have to agree I didn't think anyone could love Satan in a v-neck" Lydia told her.

Their comments went on for about ten minutes you sat silent listening. It began to annoy you so you up coughing to get their attention. "excuse me I am still here and I'm being to find your remarks rude now" you said frowning at the small group of teens. "sorry we didn't me to offend you we just can't believe someone could actually love Peter Hale" Scott said sincerely.

"well I do love Peter Hale and I have for the past 2 years" you say. Stiles went to speak but you cut him off "and before you say he's a psychopath, yes he's done terrible things in his life but that was the past he's much healthier now" you sass one of Peter's lines smiling thinking if him saying it. "oh and fyi not only am I Peter's girlfriend but I'm going to marry him and if you don't believe it I suggest you start"

Derek smiled while biting his lip trying to to laugh at the stunned pack. "well I'm glad someone round here loves me" Peter's voice came from the doorway. You turn to see him swaggering down the steps. You squeal loud, that Scott, Derek and Malia all cringe at the high pitch sound as you run to him. Peter hugs you picking you up off the ground, swinging you. "I missed you y/n" he says putting you down but still has his arms around you "but I thought you was staying in England" he smiles surprised to see you in front of him.

"well I figured out what was more important" you say waving your hand showing of your engagement ring. "I couldn't lose you over a job so I quit and come straight here to surprise you, plus I don't want us to be apart again" you say looking in his eyes. Peter moved one of his hands running into your hair "and we won't" he said kissing you lovingly like no one was there.

Derek gave a cough making you both stop. "okay I have to say this I don't know what's more shocking, that Peter has a fiancee" stiles starts then points to you "or that y/n loves him or that now I see you together I actually like you as a couple from what I see" he says. You laughed blushing a little still hugged into Peter's chest. "shut up stiles you idiot" Peter smirked then went to kiss you again.

Derek looked at you "if your gonna do that can you do it somewhere else" he asked. Peter picked you up bridal style "happily" Peter answered carrying you up to his room, as you giggle happy to be back with the man you love. 

#Peter Hale #peter hale imagine #peter hale x reader #peter hale fluff #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf imagine #stiles stilinski #derek hale #Scott McCall #lydia martin #malia hale #request

[iminclinedtowriting]

FYI my date is a boy

summary: “First off, Mum, seeing as Sarah is my ex-girlfriend, similarity to her isn’t exactly a selling point. Second of all, I am seeing someone, so I’ll have to turn down the awkward blind wedding date.” aka Shit. I just told my mom I'm in a relationship and I haven't even told her I'm bisexual. Now what? words: 3000 genre: fluff, established relationship, coming out time: may 2011ish series: My Youth Is Yours part: 2 [[ao3]]

This semester is definitely going to be the death of me. All that is left is this 5,000 word paper. Just one dumb term paper is the only thing standing between me and the sweet freedom of being done with my first year of uni.

I’m lounging on Phil’s bed, surrounded by textbooks and half-heartedly trying to write a few paragraphs. Phil’s apartment was empty when I got here this afternoon, so I’m monopolizing the entire bed as fruitless, petty revenge for Phil not being here to distract me. I’m not quite sure where Phil is at the moment, but I hope he has the foresight to stop at the grocery store on his way home. The refrigerator currently contains ketchup, stale bread, and a questionable tub of yogurt – not exactly dinner ingredients.

Not that I’ve been paying too much attention to work anyway, but I’m completely distracted from ‘writing’ when my phone rings from the depths of the covers. When I manage to dig my phone out of the blankets, I answer without looking. I assume it’s Phil, hopefully calling about dinner (no one else really calls me, tbh).

“Hello?”

“Hello sweetheart, how are you today?”

How wrong I was. I love my mother. Dearly. But if I’d noticed the caller id, I probably would have let it go to voicemail. I’d hate to further distract myself from tumblr writing.

“Hi, mum. I’m doing well. I’ve been working on my term paper all day.” Sort of, whatever.

“I’m so proud of how hard you’re working, Daniel.” I grimace, and I’m not sure if it’s because she used my full name or because she’s seriously misguided in her pride.

A few seconds of silence pass before Mum continues. “Your cousin Cassidy is getting married – your invitation came in the post with ours today.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I’ve always liked Adam.”

“The wedding is June 15th. You’re done with your semester before then, right?

“Yeah, the semester is over June 4th. I can make it. Will you RSVP for me?”

“No problem, dear. I’m so glad you can come. If you haven’t already made plans, I was thinking you could come home a bit early and we can do something for your birthday.”

Ugh. As much as I love Cassidy and want to be there for her wedding, I was hoping to spend my birthday with Phil this year. We haven’t made actual plans yet, but he’s been hinting at a restaurant he wants to take me to.

“Er… yeah, maybe. I’m not sure if I’m doing anything on my birthday, I’ll have to let you know.” I say noncommittally.

“Well, if it makes any difference, Cassidy said you could bring a date. If you’re seeing someone, you could bring them home with you for your birthday as well… Although, if you’re not seeing anyone, my friend Jodie has a daughter that is starting at Manchester in the fall I think you’d get on with well. She reminds me a lot of Sarah.”

“First off, Mum, seeing as Sarah is my ex-girlfriend, similarity to her isn’t exactly a selling point. Second of all, I am seeing someone, so I’ll have to turn down the awkward blind wedding date.”

I immediately blanch as I realize I just confessed to being decidedly not single.

My mum, however, did not miss the confession. “That’s great, honey. I’m glad to hear that! How long have you been dating? Does she study law too? Do you think you’ll bring her to the wedding?”

Shit shit shit. Fuck this is not how I thought this conversation was going to go.

I hesitate for a moment, trying to think of the best way to end this conversation as quickly and with as little information as possible. When I finally respond, I chose my words carefully and actively avoid using any pronouns.

“Calm down, Mum. We’ve been dating for several months.” Technically 20 months qualifies as ‘several months’… “I’m not sure about the wedding or my birthday yet. I’m not sure if it’s the best idea. We’ll have to talk it over.”

“Several months!? I can’t believe you’ve kept this a secret for that long, Daniel. I hope you decided to bring her – I’m sure everyone would love to meet her, especially since you’ve been dating for a while now.”

“Yeah, uh… Like I said, we’ll see, Mum. I’ve got to go, I’m in the middle of my term paper and I need to finish this section before I lose my train of thought,” I invent wildly, desperate to end the call.

“Oh sorry dear, I didn’t mean to interrupt your studying. Don’t think you are off the hook though, I expect more details about this later.”

“Okay, sure Mum, bye.” I smash the end call button before my mother has a chance to respond. With a sigh of frustration, I flop onto my back and glare at the ceiling, considering my options.

Pretend to break up with my ‘girlfriend’ in the next month so I can avoid bringing ‘her’ to the wedding.

Not exactly foolproof. Mum will still ask a million questions about our relationship (and it’s timely demise) that I’ll either have to evade or lie about. Not to mention, I’ll still have to switch all of the pronouns.

Find a girl willing to pretend to be my girlfriend for the weekend.

Also has its complications. For starters, I definitely do not have any female friends close enough to ask that kind of favor of. Not to mention, we’d have to make up a complete back-story and risk getting caught in a web of lies. And what if I had to kiss her or something? I don’t want to kiss anyone that isn’t Phil.

Come out.

Terrifying.

The more I think about it, though, the more option three is the only option that makes sense. Me and Phil are only getting more serious – I’m planning to move in with him when the semester is over for god’s sake – and the truth is going to have to come out sooner or later. If I go along with this girlfriend ruse now, I’ll end up having to confess that I lied or lie more later on to cover up this lie.

Resolutely, I shove my law books aside (no way I am going to be able to concentrate on it now, let’s be real) and move to the living room. As I fiddle with my phone, I consider texting Phil to ask when he’s coming home but I figure I’ll just wait. Before I call my mum back, I need to talk to Phil. I have no idea how to do this.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall with thoughts rushing around my head when I finally hear the click of the door being unlocked. Phil barely has the deadbolt turned before I’m standing in front of the door. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I gratefully notice that he is holding several Tesco bags, but my appetite has completely vanished.

“Thank god you’re home, we need to talk.”

Phil’s eyes widen and he looks alarmed. “Why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Honestly? I’m kind of panicking.”

“Okay, take a seat and let me put the milk away. Then we can talk.”

I shuffle over to his table, immediately burying my head in my hands. The chair next to me screeches as Phil pulls it out and sits down. Out of the periphery of my vision, I can see Phil reach for my hand.

“What’s wrong?”

I groan into my arms and take a deep breath before I sit up. “My mum called today. Apparently my cousin Cassidy is getting married next month and she invited me to the wedding.”

“Er, alright. I’m not sure I’m understanding the problem here…”

“There are several things. One really big problem and a whole buttload of smaller problems.” Phil looks at me expectantly. “One: the wedding is June 15th and my mum wants me to come home for my birthday. Two: I was told I could bring a date to both my birthday and the wedding. Three: my lovely mum offered to set me up on a blind date with her friend’s daughter.”

Phil chuckles. “Alright. None of those seem life changing. If you have to go home for your birthday, we can celebrate early, that’s fine. Also, I’d rather you didn’t take your mum up on the blind date, seeing as I like having you as my boyfriend and all.”

“None of those were the big problem, Phil.”

“So what is it then?”

I finally look up enough to meet Phil’s eyes. “I told my mum I’d have to turn down the blind date since I’m seeing someone. Now she’s hoping I’ll bring that person home with me. And she’s assuming that person is a girl.”

Phil looks about like a deer in headlights. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“What are you thinking of doing?”

“I’ve thought about this a lot in the past—” I glance at the clock “—three hours. There’s only one logical option. I need to come out sooner or later, so it might as well be now, I guess.”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured. If you aren’t ready or don’t want to, we can figure something out.”

I close my eyes and collect my thoughts, taking a deep breath. When I open my eyes, I resolutely meet Phil’s gaze. “I’m sure. I knew the time would come and it’s come,” I say with an air of finality.

“I’m proud of you, Bear.”

“Thanks. I have no idea how I’m going to do this though. I mean, how does someone just call up their mum and be like ‘hey, thanks for telling me I could bring a date, but fyi it’s a boy and I’m bisexual’…?”

“Probably with a bit more tact than that. Maybe skype would be a better option. Or you could wait until you go home.”

“No, I don’t want to wait until I go home. If I wait until I go home then I can’t bring you as a date. Or worse, bringing you as my date will actually be how I come out. Oh my god, I didn’t even ask, do you even want to go to this? The wedding? I’m sure I can get out of the birthday thing if I try, but I have to go to the wedding. I’d love it if you’d come, but I get that meeting my whole family all at once is really intimidating and I wouldn’t blame—”

“Dan. Shut up.” Phil interrupts me and I stop rambling.

“Sorry.” I turn my gaze downward and toy with the hem of my shirt. Phil grabs my face between his hands, forcing me to look up at him.

“Of course I want to go with you. Both to the wedding and for your birthday.”

“But I know you had plans in mind for here.”

“Nothing that can’t happen a day or two early. This way you get two birthdays!” Phil looks so excited that I almost forget about the task looming over my head. Almost.

“Okay. So that’s settled. Now I just need to actually tell my mum and hopefully she doesn’t revoke the date invitation.”

“It’s going to be fine, Dan. I know it’s nerve-wracking, but I think your family is going to take it much better than you’re giving them credit for. When do you want to talk to her?”

“Now?” I try to sound confident, but instead, it comes out like a weak question. Phil raises his eyebrow. “I want to do it before I lose my nerve.”

Without saying anything, Phil disappears into his room. When he returns, he is carrying my laptop and a bag of Maltesers. “Here.” He shoves the laptop into my hands. “Text your mum now. Tell her you need to skype.”

I nod numbly and do as he says. My mum replies almost instantly.

I’ll be on in 5 minutes. Is everything okay?

I don’t respond. She’ll find out soon enough.

Phil rises and kisses my forehead. “I’ll let you have privacy with your mum.”

“NO!” I shout before I can control myself. I quickly add, “I really, really don’t think I can do this alone. Can’t you just like… sit at the table out of shot or something?”

“Of course. But if you decide you want me to leave, just say so, okay?” He settles back down into his chair and angles the laptop so that only I will be on camera.

I nod quietly in assent without taking my eyes off of the screen. In three minutes there will be a green dot next to my mum’s name. There’s no turning back now.

I snap out of my daze when the skype call comes through but I’m too petrified to move to answer it. Phil notices and reaches over and hits the accept button for me. Instead of pulling his hand back though, he grabs my hand and holds it under the table. The hidden gesture gives me the courage to speak.

“Hi, mum. Thanks for dropping whatever you were doing.”

“It’s no problem, honey. What’s going on?”

“Well, I was thinking about what you said earlier. If the offer still stands, I would like to bring a date.” I choose my words with care, making sure not to use pronouns before I actually intend to.

“Daniel! That’s great news. Of course the offer still stands. I’m so excited that—”

“Mum. Hold on. Let me say what I need to say before you decide if my date is still invited.”

That shuts her up. Phil squeezes my hand under the table and sends me a reassuring look when I glance over. On screen, my mum watches me expectantly.

“My date, um, wouldn’t be a girl.”

In the next five seconds, my mum’s face goes through a series of emotions. First she seems confused, then surprised, then anxious, but finally settles on calm.

“The offer still stands. I would love to meet your boyfriend.” I notice that she seems barely fazed by the word. “And I’m sure the rest of the family would too. So long as he makes you happy and isn’t a serial killer, I think everyone will be just fine.”

As she talks, I can literally feel the weight melting off my shoulders. I was so nervous about the hundreds of ways that this could have gone poorly that I never actually considered she would be so nonchalant about it.

“Thanks, mum.” I can feel tears prickling my eyes. Phil is positively beaming beside me. “Your support means so much.”

“I love you, Dan, no matter who you love.” She looks pensive for a moment. “It’s Phil, isn’t it?”

Her question catches me off guard and I can feel heat my cheeks instantly flush with heat. I nod sheepishly.

“How long?” She asks curiously.

“Um, like September.” She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “Of 2009.”

“YOU’VE BEEN DATING PHIL FOR THAT LONG AND DIDN’T TELL US?!” She shouts, but she doesn’t sound angry, just shocked.

“I told you I didn’t buy that ‘friends’ crap!” Adrian shouts from the next room.

“LANGUAGE, ADRIAN!” Phil guffaws at the exchange beside me. “Is that Phil I hear in the background?”

“Yeah, Phil’s here.” I jerk my head slightly and Phil shuffles into the shot.

“Hi Mrs. Howell!” Phil waves cheerfully with the hand that isn’t still attached to mine.

“Hello, Phil. I look forward to getting to properly meet you in person soon. So you boys have really been dating for…” Her face scrunches up as she tries to do the calculations.

“Nearly two years?” I fill in for her. “Yeah.”

Her expression turns slightly disappointed and when she speaks, she sounds sadder. “Why did you tell us sooner?”

I knew this would come up. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about since Phil and I started talking.

“Well, at first, I didn’t want to mention it because it was so new. And then when I went to visit him the first time, I was afraid that if I told you what we actually were, you wouldn’t let me get on a train to go halfway across the country to meet my boyfriend. Then I was planning to come to Manchester for uni and I didn’t want you to think I was moving to Manchester just to be with my boyfriend. And, well, since then, I guess I was just nervous and didn’t know how to talk about it or how you would react.”

I could see tears forming in my mum’s eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry that we’ve made you feel like you couldn’t confide in us. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like hiding this for so long. Please, don’t feel like you need to hide things from us in the future.”

“Thanks, mum.”

The conversation shifted to planning me and Phil’s trip. It takes a bit of negotiation, but we finally settle on us arriving the evening before my birthday and leaving two days after Cassidy’s wedding. I can’t tell who is more excited: my mum or Phil.

When the call finally disconnects, I fly into Phil’s arm. He wraps his arms around me tightly. “It went well. It went really well, Phil.” I’m smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt and Phil pokes my dimple, which is more of a crater than a dimple at the moment.

“It did, Bear. I’m happy for you.” He leans in and kisses my lips softly. He slowly presses long, sloppy kisses along my jaw and the mood shifts into something more heated. When his lips return to mine, the kiss is more urgent. I move my legs to straddle his lap, pulling my shirt off in the process.

Phil works his way back up my jaw and lightly pulls my earlobe into his mouth. “I’d say let’s move this to the bed, but I noticed that someone left the entire law library on my bed.” His voice is husky and his deep chuckle vibrates along my neck, which melts me into an almost incoherent state of bliss.

“Couch?”

next part

#iminclinedtowriting #established relationship #phan #phanfic #2011 phan #coming out

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #185 - The Princess Diaries

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: I think so.

Do I remember it: I remember that it exists and that I saw it.

Did I see it in theaters: No

Format: Blu-ray

This film was nominated by @princessofsunnydale for my first Epic Movie (Re)Watch poll, so it only feels right that I should dedicate it to her.

1) I have not watched this film in AT LEAST 10 years. It’s probably closer to 12 or 13 (although I do remember the soundtrack well because I own it). So in a lot of ways this like a first viewing.

2) There’s a nice sense of place which is immediately established around Mia’s home. It helps establish the character of both her and her mother with their eccentricities and charm.

3) Wait? This was produced by Whitney Houston? Huh.

4) Sandra Oh is in this?

Wow, the things you don’t notice as a child.

5) This is very telling of Mia’s experience at high school.

Mia: “Someone sat on me again.”

6) Anne Hathaway as Mia.

Immediately Hathaway is able to show off and incredible honesty when portraying Mia. You see her shyness and clumsiness wonderfully. But she’s not JUST the stereotypical of an awkward teenage girl. You see where Mia is comfortable, where she’s not, and that’s nice. Hathaway plays all facets of Mia’s personality wonderfully well, bringing a wonderful inquisitiveness and hart to what is the strong base of the film.

7) Ugh, this crap.

Queen Clarisse [upon seeing Mia for the first time]: “You look so [pause as she tries to find a compliment for her appearance] young.”

The trope of, “girl who is not traditionally beautiful absolutely NEEDS a makeover so her outer beauty matches her inner beauty,” can die a horrible and painful death. What the heck is wrong with Mia? She wars glasses, she has big hair, and eyebrows which are compared to Brooke Burke’s. What the heck is wrong with Brooke Burke? I’m tired of films making it seem like this isn’t attractive. I think Mia is GORGEOUS even before her transformation.

8) If this line isn’t iconic for my generation I don’t know what is.

(GIFs originally posted by @animations-daily​)

9) I like that Mia loses her shit instead of being like, “Oh, I’m a princess! My life is a fairytale!” She realizes the real world implications of this and the pressure it puts on her.

Mia: “Just in case I’m not enough of a freak already, let’s add a tiara!”

10) According to IMDb:

Mia's cat, Fat Louie, was Anne Hathaway's pet in real-life. Four different cats played the role. One who allowed people to carry it, one who could sit still, another who would jump, and the last one, who sits on the envelope at the end of the movie.

11) Julie Andrews as Queen Clarisse.

Julie Andrews is a legend of cinema and brings the same kind of focus to her role as Queen Clarisse as she would to Mary Poppins. Clarisse is good at being a formal stuck in the mud while also being warm and sympathetic. You can see her heart, the empathy she has, and it is not that much of a stretch for her relationship with Mia to grow into another strong fundamental of this movie. It’s a stand out performance in the film and a nice addition to the veteran actresses’ resumé.

12) Um…what!?

Queen Clarisse: “You have a cousin who’s a Contessa. Formerly known as Bartholomew. Actually we call him Pookie.”

I had to google this to make sure a Contessa is always a woman and they are. And this might not be a big deal NOW but I am pleasantly surprised to see that they referenced the fact Mia has a transgender cousin in a 2001 Disney film (even if there was a pronoun slip).

13) Hector Elizondo as Joe.

Elizondo is director Garry Marshall’s lucky charm and features in nearly all of the director’s films. He’s pretty amazing in this, able to play Joe as someone who is intimidating and professional but WILDLY sympathetic to Mia. You can tell he cares for her and Queen Clarisse deeply even if he’s not showing it in the most massive of ways. It’s quiet but deep and at times very moving. Also he’s a badass.

Lily: “You know you look like Shaft?”

Joe: “Yes.”

14) This is an interesting visual I wish had been explored a bit more. Why is this guy so obsessed with M&M’s?

15) If I haven’t said it before, Mia is pretty cool. She knows cars, art, has a wonderful sense of humor, is a rock climber, and just a wonderfully well rounded/full breathing character.

16) One of the most underrated small characters in this film is Mia’s gym teacher.

Mia [playing soccer]: “I can’t do this, I’m a girl.”

Gym Teacher Harbula: “What am I, a duck!?”

17) I have a fundamental philosophical issue with putting such emphasis on being “proper” and all that crap. Who determines what is “proper” and why is looking a certain way, standing a certain way, and sitting a certain way so much more important than treating people well? I hate that.

18) The relationship Joe has with Clarisse is VERY nice, but according to IMDb:

The on-screen relationship between Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews) and Joseph (Hector Elizondo) was not scripted. The dance scene, and the underlying affection was added by the two. According to Hector Elizondo, "We felt that a romance after fifty was important to tell, and it can be sensual and sexy while keeping your clothes on."

19) Larry Miller as Paolo.

Miller is another frequent collaborator with director Garry Marshall and an incredible character actor, stealing the entire film with his scene as Paolo. Committed absolutely to his character, Miller has a lot of fun in an absolutely hysterical role. I don’t remember most of the fine details of this film but I remember Paolo.

20) The makeover scene - while key and possibly iconic to a lot of people - ties into what I talked about in note #7.

Paolo: “You will be beautiful!”

She already IS beautiful you jerk! Why are glasses ugly? Why is her bushy hair ugly? And of course, this crap!

Queen Clarisse [after Mia’s makeover]: “Better, much better.”

NO! NOT BETTER! DIFFERENT! NOT WORSE, BUT WHY IS THIS BETTER!? IT’S JUST DIFFERENT!

21) Similarly, Lily giving Mia crap for her new look is really crummy behavior from a best friend.

Lily: “Oi. Who destroyed you.”

Lily is a fundamentally bad friend in these moments. She shouldn’t judge Mia for her makeover anymore than Queen Clarisse should judge Mia for her pre-makeover look. Basically: don’t judge people for their appearance, whether they meet traditional standards of beauty or not. Let them look however the heck they want to look.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

22) I love this line.

23) One thing I love in films is when they embrace the visual medium. We see Mia talking to Lily, we don’t hear what she says, but we KNOW. We don’t need to hear. The message is: Lily knows everything the audience does now and she’s excited!

24) I kinda get high school bullies, but also not really. Is your self esteem so low that you really need to consistently make other people miserable/get them in trouble to feel better about yourself? For example: why does Mandy Moore so passionately call Mia out for wearing a hat JUST to get her in trouble. Mia is not hurting anyone and if the teacher cared enough he’d have already asked her not to wear it. It’s just stupid.

25) The biggest problem with this film I would say is the pacing. There are a number of scenes - specifically, princess lesson scenes - which are fun but don’t add to any of the characters or plot. They’re a little self indulgent. HOWEVER, they are also the most memorable scenes in the movie so cutting them would be a mistake. So I’m not sure what to say, actually. I’m just going to move on.

26) Wow. These films are so gay (not in a derogatory sense but in an actual homosexual sense).

Paolo [after the press learns Mia is a princess]: “I outed you! So to speak. I don’t mean to imply -”

FYI: I’d be so okay if Mia were gay or bi or anything. I need more representation in my life.

27) Things you don’t pick up on as a child.

Teacher Over PA: “Will the feng shui club please stop rearranging the tables on the front lawn?”

28) This was NOT scripted but instead a mistake made by Anne Hathaway that she rolled with.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

29) Man, Joe just has a ton of great advice.

Joe [after Mia asks if she should quite being a princess]: “No one can really quite being who they are.”

30) According to IMDb:

When Mia accidentally sets the man's arm on fire, the flames were supposed to go out when he puts his arm in the ice bucket, but they didn't. Anne Hathaway panicked and threw the glass of water on it, which was not scripted.

31) Okay, throughout this film and its sequel I find that I am constantly impressed with how supportive the Prime Minister of Genovia is of Mia.

Prime Minister’s Wife [after Mia eats too much of the frozen cream]: “She didn’t realize it was frozen!”

Prime Minister: “Well what should we do?”

Prime Minister’s Wife: “We should do the same!”

[The eat as much frozen cream as Mia and begin to imitate her.]

32) The day out Mia and Clarisse have together is loads of fun. It really shows the development of their relationship and just how deep a connection they have. How Clarisse is able to forget being proper now and then because Mia comes first as her granddaughter. It’s a truly wonderful sequence.

33) Also, major props to the amount of BS-ing Clarisse pulled to get Mia out of trouble with the police. SHE MAKES UP A KNIGHTHOOD ON THE SPOT AND THEY’RE SO FLATTERED THEY LET MIA BE!!! I love that.

34) Oh Mia…

Josh: “I hate phony publicity seekers.”

Don’t fall for that Mia! The guy didn’t even pay attention to Mia before she was a princess and now he’s all over her. Mia’s mom even observes that he was never nice to her! And I know this is a film and this creates conflict, but ugh it just hurts.

35) I DO remember the foot pop! It’s like the thing I remember the most!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

36) Okay, let’s recap. Mia goes to the beach with a guy who she thinks likes her. Mia is used by the guy to get famous. Mia is harassed and stalked by paparazzi. Mia tries to take shelter in a changing booth. Mandy Moore exposes Mia’s naked body to the paparazzi who again further harass her. AND MIA IS THE ONE IN TROUBLE!?!??!?!?!?!?!

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

The only thing she did wrong was not tell Lily she wouldn’t be on the show. She even told Lily’s brother to make sure she didn’t just ditch him! But no, it’s, “I’m giving up the crown because I messed up.” Forget that!

37) God bless Joe.

Clarisse [about Mia’s being manipulated]: “Why didn’t she have enough common sense to deal with this?”

Joe: “She’s only fifteen.”

38) I just realized how I have yet to talk about how awesome Heather Matarazzo is in this film.

She plays Mia’s best friend Lily with wonderful enthusiasm, stealing a number of great scenes from the film. She’s funny, able to show her vulnerability, makes her honest, and has a wonderful chemistry/relationship with Hathaway/Mia. It’s just another part of what makes the film fun.

39) I really appreciate that Michael is not Nice Guy™. He doesn’t whine about “the friend zone” and he doesn’t go out of his way to make Mia feel guilty for not liking him back. He’s a bit of a tool when she asks him out but he’s hurt in that moment and doesn’t necessarily want to open himself back up. He could go on and on about how he’s always been there for her and Mia’s given him nothing or some bullshit like that. I like it.

40) Get wrecked, Mandy Moore’s character (I don’t remember her name)!

(GIF originally posted by @stydixa)

41) It took me until almost the end to finally put to words that this film isn’t about Mia being pretty or even about her being a princess. It’s about her gaining some agency in her life, a little confidence, and actually taking control of things. That’s WAY more interesting than, “Oh, you were born a princess. Let’s do only princessy things from now on!”

42) Wow, I did not expect something this deep in The Princess Diaries.

Mia’s Father [via letter]: “Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something is more important than fear.”

43) Mia showing up as she does to the ball removes the support of “proper” appearance. She is a mess right now, all she has is her words and her decision to convince these people she should be queen. And she rocks it.

44) Honestly I’m more invested in Joe & Clarisse’s relationship than Mia & Michael’s, but at least she got her foot pop.

The Princess Diaries held up much better than I was expecting. Hathaway is pretty freaking great, as is Julie Andrews, and the film just has this incredible beating heart and message of confidence to it. Sure, it falls victim to some tropes of the genre (the makeover stuff will forever bother me in all movies), but it transcends others (Mia’s boyfriend at the end is not a Nice Guy™). If you don’t have a taste for film’s which wear their hearts on their sleeves, then maybe you should avoid this. But the rest of you? You may find that you like it more than you first expected to.

#The Princess Diaries #Anne Hathaway #Julie Andrews #Heather Matarazzo #Garry Marshall #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Sandra Oh #Larry Miller #Hector Elizondo #Mandy Moore #Here Endeth The Lesson #Jaw Drop