Some time ago, I found a post by galactic-dragoness about a Sly Cooper Coffee Shop AU where, as the name suggests, the titular gang decide to open a coffee shop to use as their base of operations in between heists as they go after the Fiendish Five.
And like most things she's posted both on tumblr and on AO3, she's put enough spin on the idea that I would be interested in reading such an AU. Not so much for the coffee shop setting itself, but the double life aspects Sly would have to balance in order to pull it off, and all the wonderful ways it can (and will) fall apart all around him. Carmelita finding out that the charming and handsome coffee shop owner she's been dating is none other than the Ringtail she's been hunting across the continent, the strain on Sly's and Bentley's relationship as the former starts considering a life outside thievery and the latter's feelings of betrayal, Clockwerk burning the cafe down because he's just that petty. There's a lot of potential here.
And since I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again, I want to try my hand at this idea. So far, I have decided upon the following:
•Sly was inspired by Roichi's sushi shop and the stories his father would regale him with about the ninja that would sell sushi by day and steal from the shogun at night.
•Bentley is the most against the idea, because of the paperwork that would be involved and the potential drain on their time and resources the shop could pose. He relents, so long that Sly agrees to play by the rules he sets, like fake names, wearing a snowboard mask and goggles while on the job, the whole shebang.
•Murray is all for the idea of the cafe, partially because he wants to feel useful to the gang beyond just driving them places, partially because he wants to make it the home for his best friends that the orphanage never was. And although home is where your family is, the concept of safe houses always seemed too cold and impersonal for him.
•Sly and the gang start running proper heists from the ripe age of 15, dancing around the orphanage's schedules and hiding their money in an oak tree.
•Naming the shop proves almost as challenging as opening the damned thing.
•Sly keeps suggesting self-indulgent names like "Maître Voleur" et cetera.
•Bentley's suggestions are drier than flour. He doesn't get the point of atmosphere.
•Murray's suggestions are an overly long gag. I.e. he picks ridiculously long names that just wouldn't fit on any reasonable sign. His star suggestion is "Le petit café élégant et convivial aux délicieuses pâtisseries tenu par un raton laveur, une tortue et un hippopotame". It's one of the short ones.
•Eventually, they settle on "La pie en fût". The Casked Magpie. Or Cooper Thief, as Bentley interprets it. He believes that Sly is being coy again, but finds the name inoffensive enough that he lets it slide.
•Sly lets him believe that.
•They set shop somewhere along the Seine river, a short walk away from Interpol's headquarters. They hope to take advantage of the rumour mill and keep an ear open for potential heists or the fiendish five, since Interpol is still in the process of digitising and a lot of this information is still physical.
•This makes them targets for our favourite marine iguana, Dimitri Lousteau, since he had set eyes on the location for his own franchises for similar reasons. He sends goons to coerce the gang to sell him the shop first chance he gets.
•Enter Carmelita Fox. She drives the thugs away with her badge and attitude from what she assumes to be an everyday protection scheme. She meets the gang and assumes they are nothing more than a bunch of 18 year olds trying to start a business.
•Sly introduces himself as Sylvester Raton-laveur, but tells Carmelita to call him Sly.
•Bentley strangles Sly with his bare hands.
•Dimitri doesn't stop going after the shop. However, he not only realizes that he and Sly are cut from the same cloth, but that Sly is actually a Cooper. He decides to take advantage of the situation. In exchange of running the shop whenever the gang are on their little "business trips", Sly will run some jobs for Dimitri, maybe share some of the things he learns from his customers. On threat of course of revealing his operation to Interpol and blowing the whole thing sky high.
•Each of the Fiendish Five have stolen a portion of the book pertaining to their themes and interests.
•Raleigh stole the parts with the gadgets the Coopers used. Otto van Cooper's designs, Bruce O'Coop's computer science, Thaddeus's diatribes on the art of disguise and so on. Tips on basic thievery are also here.
•Muggshot stole the movement techniques. Rioichi's and Tennesse's techniques, the roll, the dive et cetera. He also purchased Slaigh McCooper's secrets to tapping into hysterical strength from the Panda King. (Infuriating Sly to no end that they would trade his heritage between themselves like baseball cards.)
•Mz. Ruby took the more mystical arts, like Invisibility and attracting coins to oneself. She has the smallest share of the Thievious Raccoonus, because Clockwerk took the parts with the real juice in them.
•The Panda King's portion deals with advanced techniques that precisely control one's mind and body. Using your fur's static electricity, accelerating and decelerating one's perception of time, controlling your body's temperature, your heartbeat, tapping into hysterical strength et cetera.
•Clockwerk stole the best parts of the book. Defying gravity, slowing and stopping time, deflecting fire, controlling the trajectory of projectiles after they have been fired and finally, teleportation. (Only a couple of feet though.) Everything that tilted the game too much in the Cooper's favour.
•Proud bastard that he is, Clockwerk never uses any of the book's techniques. After all, he is already perfect.
•His feud with the Coopers started before Slytunkhamen's time, during the Sumerian civilization's time. The son of florists, Clockwerk was an ambitious young man who wanted to become immortal through his legacy. When the gods took fire from mortals and threatened to turn them all into mindless beasts, Clockwerk was among those who made the journey for their abode to steal it back. He was the people's favourite, because he was large, strong and could fly. The winds were too cold and violent even for him though, so he failed like the rest.
•The one to succeed was his family's slave, a cooper that didn't even have the dignity of a name. He climbed the mountain, stole the fire by hiding it in a jar and brought it back to mortals.
•He didn't succeed on his first try, but every time he made the journey, he brought back survivors, among whom was Clockwerk himself.
•Hailed a hero, the nameless cooper was given freedom and a name. Although the name was lost to the annals of history, he is remembered to the present day through the myth of Prometheus and the general concept of the noble thief that steals from the rich and gives to the poor.
•Clockwerk grew to resent the first Cooper. He tried to outshine him by stealing treasures and artifacts, to prove himself the superior thief. Nothing he did seemed to measure up. His hatred reached a breaking point at the Cooper's funeral, who had lived a full life and was surrounded by friends and a large family, while all Clockwerk had to show for his life was an endless string of failures. He killed the Cooper's eldest son and ate his heart and liver. That failed to satiate his hatred though. The rest is history.
•Clockwerk managed to preserve himself through hatred alone, but his constant clashes with the Coopers took its toll over the centuries, leaving him a patchwork of scars. Until Slaigh McCooper knocked him out of the sky and tore his wing off, Clockwerk was fully organic.
Of course, this isn't everything I have in mind for the story. For example, I'm thinking of turning Mz. Ruby's stage into a genius loci of sorts that reflects the psyche of whoever it deems holds the reigns, mainly to explain away why the resident voodoo lady lives in a giant voodoo crocodile skull swamp. It could be a good opportunity for exposition. Sly sneaks in and confronts Mz. Ruby but loses the fight because of the invisibility she stole. She taunts him for burying his emotions beneath the thin veneer of a gentleman thief and throws a violin at him so that he can express himself (to mock him of course). Sly takes her up on the offer and boom, suddenly the whole swamp is a scorching vortex of fire, because of course the Fiendish Five burned his house down on top of everything else, leaving Mz. Ruby running for the hills with her hair on fire, Sly trapped and Carmelita having to rescue Sly from his own psyche. Maybe get a glimpse of the night of his parents' murder and start putting the pieces together about Sly's true identity.
I'm not too married to this particular idea just yet. Although Sly's lies will have to start to unravel eventually, with the Panda King providing the final nail in the coffin.
At the same time, I want Barkley to have a more prominent role in the story. Sow the seeds of doubt in Carmelita about how truthful Sly is being with her while quietly opening an investigation on the cafeteria shop owner that so happens to be the spitting image of Connor Cooper. (Until he can convince her though, everyone thinks Barkley is being racist. Or specist.)
(Whatever he is being, HR will have words with him over it.)
(Even if he is 100% correct.)
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Vtuber au ask. So we know that Weiss, Ruby and Cinder so far all have feeling for Jaune. Will be be seeing other members of team rwby, jnpr and cmen?
The VTuber: The Dragoness
A blank screen was all that was scene, an empty void of nothingness. Until a single spark flared to life in the centre of the screen before all was engulfed in flame, as the shadow of a burning heart stood alone before all faded to ash, and dust. Revealing a woman with vibrant violet eyes, and a dazzling smile. Wings stretched out, behind her, as a crown of horns rest upon her golden locks of hair.
For this was the dragon girl VTuber, DraGunShow.
And, the show was just beginning.
~~~
DraGunShow: Hello, chat~! How’s everyone doing this fine day?
DraGunShow show gave her chat a dazzling smile showing off her sharp canines as she watched chats replies come trickling in.
~~~Stream Chat~~~
ViciousDoggo: It begins!
Helios6291: Hello Dragon!
KnightsBannana: Our queen is here!
IdentifiableMistake: Hello girls~!
Quintix: Hello!
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: Hi everyone, it’s nice to see you too. Okay chat, for today’s show I have a special treat for you~! Well… more of a treat for me, but all of you will get a kick out of it!
Her radiant smile was infectious as her body moved about, letting her wings flap as her ‘girls’ jiggled to, and fro as she went in with her little plan for today.
DraGunShow: Okay, my dear friend, SushiandShibari gave me a challenge the other day, and it’s one that I must say I’m all fired up to do! My challenge is to flirt with everyone’s loveable knight, ErrantryPaladin. And, see if we can get him to blush! The nina cat bet I couldn’t do it, but I’m sure as hell bet I could! So, who’s ready to see their favourite knight blush up a storm?!
~~~~~~
FshOnLand: Oh hell yeah!
RubberDucky98: Let’s do this!
Venger: 5000 bits says she can’t do it.
Rightotheleft: I’ll take that bet.
Yenta: Another 5000 says she blushes first.
Tallai37: Gonna pass that to Errant’s stream then?
Venger: Sure, why not.
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: Ohh~! Do you have no faith in me chat? Please, this is going to be a cake walk~!
DraGun opened up the stream to show she already had, ErrantryPaladin’s stream playing in the background, he was playing another round of, Deep Rock Galactic, and had just finished a mission when, DraGun decided to call, VTubings most infamous heartbreaker.
Errant’s model look to the side as his eye brow shot upwards in an inquisitive, yet cautious manner.
Errant: Hello, DraGun. To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure?
DraGunShow: Okay chat here we go!
DraGunShow: Hey, Errant~! How’s to going?
Errant: It was going well, but now I have a sense of foreboding. Do you need something, DarGun?
DraGunShow: Hey, my name is, DraGunShow, but you can call me tonight~!
Errant: Eh?
DraGun was met with the lovely sight of, Errant looking at her with an utterly bewildered expression across his face. It was cute, but not what she wanted.
DraGunShow: Do you know what’s on this years Valentine’s menu?
Errant: What?
DraGunShow: Me-N-U~!
Errant face contorted into an array of wild facial expressions, varying from the confused, the pondering, to the clarification, and then back to the confused.
DraGunShow: Uhhh… I-I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together~!
Errant: W-What are you doing?
DraGunShow: Uhhh… shit… O-One moment.
Errant: Okay?
DraGun quickly muted herself as she turned to face her screen as he face fell as panic, and embarrassment set in.
DraGunShow: I fucked up!
~~~~~~
RohanasStalion: That was horrible
AledenTheon: crash, and burn baby
VicuousDoggo: abort abort abort!
Venger: So, do I pay Errant the 5000 bits then or what?
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: No! I can still do this! It’s just a little mess up! The bets not over yet! I CAN DO THIS!!!
Fire erupted from, DraGun’s model as she pumped herself up, she roared at her chat as her chat started to hype her up, and she quickly unmuted herself, and…
Errant: So what’s this bet of yours all about?
Stopped dead in her tracks as, Errant’s simple comment blindsided her.
DraGunShow: H-How did you know about that?!
Errant: Someone on my chat decided to make the same bet; ‘5000 bits says, Errant can’t make, DragonDeezBoobs blush.’ Is that why you were flirting with me earlier? To get me to blush?
DraGunShow: Ah-hahaha haaa… SushiandShibari made bet with me that I couldn’t get you to blush, and I bet I could. So…
Errant: And, what is the prize of you winning this bet; bragging rights?
DraGunShow: Uhh… Yeah pretty much. Bragging rights, and gloating that I could get you to blush.
Errant: Hmmm… Would you care to make this more… interesting~?
The way, Errant purred that last word sent a chill down, DraGun’s spine. On that filled her with excitement, and desire as he stared her down.
DraGunShow: Interesting how~?
Errant: Simple: We both tell pickup lines until the other pleads uncle, and the winner wins both the smug satisfaction of making the other blush, and admit defeat. And, the promised 5000 bits their chat offered. You game, or is the dragon afraid to be burned?
DraGun let loose a growl deep within her throat as she took the Paladins challenge with earnest gusto.
DraGunShow: I’m game! Ready to become a blushing mess when I break you down!
Errant: we shall see. Alright! Chat we are about to have our little duel. You shall be the ultimate decided on who the winner is. And, you also allowed to tell us any of your clever pickup lines in the chat. Unless that is a problem, Dragun?
DraGunShow: My chat vs yours? Sounds like fun, what do you say chat, up for a challenge?
~~~~~~
RubberDucky98: Yeah let’s do this!
Tallai37: We’re gonna wreck them!
Yenta: Anyone want to add to the betting pool?
Penguinwithagun: I’m down for 500!
Kachina: I can do a 100.
Venger: Let’s take them for every bit they have!
~~~~~~
Dragun smiled deviously as she stared at the wandering paladon as they prepared for the games to begin.
DraGunShow: Seems my chat is upping the wager.
Errant: So are my; hopefully they can forck over the bits when you lose.
DraGunShow: In your dreams pretty boy~!
Errant: Ladies first.
DraGunShow: Alright, I’m not feeling myself today, can I feel you up instead~?
Errant: Weak. Treat me like I am a pirate, and give me that booty.
DraGunShow: Arrgh me captain, der be dog shite over the starboard bow!
Errant: Oh, tough croud.
DraGunShow: If you were a flower you’d be a damn-delion~!
Errant: What are you some sort of cocky sixth grader? Hit me with something good!
Errant: Ahem, my turn. Do you know how to play, Titanic?
DraGunShow: There’s a game associated with the, Titanic?!
Errant: Yeah, it’s a simple enough game to play too; You be the iceberg, and I’ll be the, Titanic going down you~!
DraGun’s eyes flared for the briefest of moments. She cooed softly to herself as she watched how he could play with fire. No things we’re getting exciting!
DraGunShow: Tell me, do you have extra room in your mouth for an extra tongue?
Errant: Do you like bacon, DraGun?
DraGunShow: I love me a slice of bacon.
Errant: Wanna strip then?
DraGunShow: Eh? Ohhh… That’s bad. That’s really bad.
Errant: Yeah, it took you too long for you to realize it.
DraGunShow: My turn! That shirt looks good on you, as a matter of fact, so would I~!
Errant: Speaking of clothes, while you look absolutely gorgeous in yours, I bet you’d look divine without them~!
Dragun’s cupped her face with her hands as she reeled back, even if she tried to hide it, errant could see the red of her blush blooming across her face.
DraGunShow: You threw that back on me! That’s not fair!
Errant: Alls fair in love, and war my dear dragon.
DraGunShow: EEEEEIIII?!?!!
~~~~~~
Venger: I think we’re gonna lose this one pals.
Zathrian: the pool is at, 6380 bits.
TraiqKanti: He’s breaking her down.
AledenTheon: I expected her to be better at flirting.
IdentifiableMistake: Always the flitter, never the flirted.
Quintix: She is absolutely adorable though.
Rightotheleft: The clips that have been made will be fantastic!
Asrid: Here’s a flirt you can use, DraGun!
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: I recommendation?
DraGunShow: Hmm…
DraGunShow: Oh~! Fufufufu~!
Errant: Should I be nervous chat? I feel like I should be a little nervous.
DraGunShow: Hey, Errant~?
Errant: Yes?
DraGunShow: I’m no watermelon, but I have something pink, sweet, and juicy that I’ll know you’ll like. Oh, and it’s seedless, would you care to change that~?
Errant gave a low whistle as he looked away, a faint blush, but a noticeable blush spread across his face. She may be losing their little challenge, but that little blush was a win, and all wins in her book.
Errant: Now that’s quite the spicy pickup line. Better step up my game then.
DraGunShow: Bring it on, Loverboy~!
Errant: I will, but can you remind me later to hang up a photo that I have of you first?
DraGunShow: Y-You have a photo of me?
Errant: I do, but I keep forgetting to put it up; Can you make sure I remember so I can nail you against the wall~?
DraGunShow: Eh…?
The cold unwavering confidence he carried as he said that to her face broke her. She thought she was a strong girl who could make any man fall to their knees before her. But, he wasn’t any ordinary man now was he?
DraGunShow: O-Okay! A-Are you…?!
Errant: Hey question: You ride a motorcycle right?
DraGunShow: Y-Yeah…?
Errant: And, you of course grab the handle bar to ride it.
DraGunShow: Yeah, that’s how you drive any bike.
Errant: So, should I grab you by the horns to ride you then~?
DraGunShow: EH?!?!
And, with those few words. DraGun’s face erupted into a display of red as her hands swiftly covered her face as she become flush with embarrassment. The bastard was smooth, smoother than she exercised expected him to possibly be. And, as much as she enjoyed flirting with him, it was embarrassing as all hell.
DraGunShow: I give! I give! I-I-I can’t do this anymore! You win!
Errant: And, victory is mine! Pay up chat.
Errant hummed to himself as he say the donations from the looser flood in. This had been a fun little diversion in his opinion. However, he thinks he did more harm than good.
Errant: Uhh… DraGun…? Are you okay? Did I take it too far with the flirting? If so I’m…?!
DraGunShow: I’m fine?!! Great even! Congrats on winning! Goodbye!
Errant: Uhh… Okay, good…
A soft chime sounded as the call disconnected as, Errrant’s hand that was about to wave goodbye slowly fell, as DraGun’s swift, and sudden departure.
Errant: …
Errant: I think I have done irrevocable harm to her…
Errant: …
Errant: Okay… back to rock, and stone then.
~~~
DraGunShow had swiftly cut the call as she now hid with her face in her hands, and she screamed in embarrassment at what, Errant had done.
DraGunShow: If you were going to make a girl blush you could have least be a gentleman about that.
~~~~~~
Penguinwithagun: Isn’t that why everyone likes him though?
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: S-Shut up chat!
~~~~~~
Venger: Best 5000 bits I’ve ever lost.
TraiqKanti: Did she really lose the bet?
AledenTheon: Considering, Errant flirted with her, it’s a win.
Asrid: SushiandShibari’s bet was a fantastic idea.
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: NyanNinja?!!
DraGun’s model shot straight up, while her face was still flushed red with embarrassment, her eyes held a blazing bloody red. A setting for her model where she can make her models eyes change from their usual violet hue, to deep crimson to show that she was angry. And, right now, she was pissed.
~~~
Meanwhile on another, VTuber’s stream, SushiandShibari was playing a horror game when she got a sudden call from her friend.
SushiandShibari: Hmm? Oh, DragonDeezBoobs is calling me~! But, why?
SushiandShibari: Hey, DraGun, what’s up, do you need something?
DraGunShow: You’re a bitch!
SushiandShibari: Eh…?
And, as suddenly, and unexpectedly as she called she left, leaving a bewildered, and confused cat behind, leaving her with, but one question.
SushiandShibari: W-What… What the fuck was that about?!
\\\
Haaa… I lnew what, and how I wanted this done for days… but, it took me days to write it?!
Haa… enjoy everyone.
Oh! It’s AI art if you’re curious. I would have found a photo, but I couldn’t find one that fit. As sad as that is, I did get the, Dragon Slayer prompt out of it.
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Good Old Pa Bear formerly Lachlan Ormerod
Papa Bear formerly Lachlan Andrew Ormerod was once an ambitious, intelligent but misunderstood autistic human being until he was killed by a bolt of lightning while looking for shelter during a storm. His troubled soul was lured into a mystic portal beyond The Solar System just outside The Milky Way under unknown circumstances before being warped into a massive far-off distant galaxy known only as Galaxceus that is home to many planets, planetoids and asteroids each with their own unique climates, differently-coloured glowing more pulsating energy fields and representing certain mystical key elements like Fire, Ice, Air, Water, Desert, Earth, Snow, Electricity, Night, Sun, Cloud, Sky, Moon, Star, Love, Electricity, Magic, Psychic, Rainbow, Enchantment, Frost, Volcano, Jungle, Turbo, Cosmic, Twilight, Swamp, Rock, Flower, Aqua, Mystic, Dream, Imaginative (aka Imaginary), Dynamic, Techno, Spectacular, Charm, Heaven, Illumination, Elasticity, Battle, Metro, Ancient, Inflatable, Prehistoric, Super, Ultra, Mega, Light, Gem, Illusion, Special, Lava, Guardian, Wish, Strange, Galactic, Power, Astro, Cave, Master, Infinity, Beauty, Major, Terrific, Incredible, Fantastic, Invincible, Amazing, Magnificent, Indestructible, Mighty, Ultimate, Eternal, Immortality and the hostile ones such as Darkness, Shadow, Nightmare, Haunted, Chaos, War and Terror. Before long Lachlan Ormerod found himself in a lush, heavenly paradise full of sentient Singing Flowers and Fruit Trees. He went over to a nearby stream and saw a furry reflection of himself as a largely chubby teddy-like Bear with reddish-brown short thick fur, sun yellow fat belly, a bright red nose and wearing a light blue t-shirt with white singlet underneath although still somehow has the same mullet hairstyle. Before he could question his slightly obese anthropomorphic form an oinking sound made him turn around. A large more hugely obese Native Brown Boar in jungle shaman attire complete with a gold crown encrusted with multi-coloured feathers and a pendant resembling The Yin and Yang Symbol. The wise Brown Boar silently motioned the astounded fat teddy-like Bear to follow him. After a short walk through the jungle they come into a small hut covered with vines and leaves with a large Pig Statue encrusted with jewels. Sitting in the garden is a huge thirty five-foot tall Pink Whippet in a retro-style areobics purple spandex complete with large tennis shoes, greenish armbands, blueish headband and pinkish legwarmers. After a brief silence the Brown Boar introduces himself as Porko aka The Hogfather an all-mighty Jungle Boar Shaman who wants to teach the unlikely duo the strongest magic on the planet known as ''Pigasus''. When the teddy-like Bear asks why are they here Porko responds by casting an Illusionary Spell to show he is Lachlan Ormerod aka their true creator who made everything. He also explains that The Giant Pink Whippet is in fact the Bear's guardian angel Jodie the Heavenly Whippet. As the Teddy-like Bear stares in astonishment a swarm of over fifty or so malicious Dragons come swooping down and attack the unsuspecting heroes. After a brief but intense battle Porko tells their leader Spyra aka the Ruthless Purple Dragon he will not return the remaining Dragons Treasure and that Pigs are better than Dragons. Before Spyra can kill the Jungle Boar Shaman Jodie angrily punches him out while the Teddy-like Bear joins in on the fight. As The Dragon Soldiers flee with an unconscious Spyra in two Jodie questions Porko who was that. The Jungle Boar Shaman replies they were MediEvil Dragons from the dreaded planetoid Medievilonia who constantly terrorise the heavenly planet Pleasure Paradise. He also states he severely hates most Dragons because he lost he love of his life, a Pig to a Dragoness (presumably Kariah the Dragoness Empress) who magically transformed her into pork roast. Porko provides both of his apprentices Animal Wands a Horse and Pig Wand. Because of his bravery Porko decides to name the teddy-like Furrie Papa Bear.
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