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#gamer's guide to pretty much everything
beautifulfaaces · 2 years
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Eduardo Franco
Facts
August 29, 1994
American actor
Filmography
Argyle [Stranger Things: 2022]
Greg [Queenpins: 2021]
Todd [Superintelligence: 2020]
Theo [Booksmart: 2019]
Spencer [American Vandal: 2017]
Stu [Gamer's Guide to Pretty Much Everything: 2015-2017]
Appearance
black hair
brown eyes
Roleplay
playable: young adult
Icons: Booksmart
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allysartblog · 2 years
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Eduardo Franco as Stu in Gamer’s Guide to Pretty Much Everything
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floofle-universe · 2 years
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OK, so if you’ve seen this post you know I talked about that one time mark was on Disney channel, I finally watch the episode(through pirated means of course) and HOLY SHIT IT GETS WORSE.. if you haven’t seen this you’ll have no idea where this is going..
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httpsserene · 6 months
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ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʀᴛᴜᴀʟ ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴏᴛᴄᴀᴍᴘ ᴡ/ᴍᴠ33
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📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you start showing interest in sim racing. max's only option is to turn you into the best virtual-racer there ever was--well besides himself, of course. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: fluff. brain vomit. formatting (done on mobile💀). tiniest explicit reference. not edited. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: max verstappen x fem!black!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: headcanons & smau 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: word on the streets • key glock
ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: thought about this the whole time i was working. and then some man had the exact same voice as max and i genuinely almost dissolved into thin air because i felt like max was punishing me for thinking about this on the clock :) anyways, hope u enjoy the brainrot, loves !!!
wanna be on my taglist ? send me an ask !
and yes, i did make a masterlist !
*whispers* next f1 kinktober fic this weekend
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you were probably unaware that sim racing was even a thing until you started dating max
like you’ve seen the funny little twitch clips of people playing driving simulators and being absolute menaces on the road, but you never knew actual virtual racing was a thing
anyways, whether or not you consider yourself a gamer in this scenario, you’ve always been pretty down to play videogames with max.
he absolutely annihilates you in FIFA, and no matter how much he tries to help you, you’re a lost cause
in return, you embarrass him in COD; he should’ve looked at your kd-ratio before he tried to play with you
but, sim racing 🧐
i mean, like, you never even fully considered that you could sim race at all, like not for leisure at least
max takes that shit seriously, he’s a part-time f1 driver full time simracing twitch streamer 😤
you are always around watching him practice on the sim, playing the f1 games, and even tuning in for his iracing competitions
at first, whenever max would stream you would probably be doing other things with your time
your hair, cleaning, self-care, cooking, etc.
eventually, you started migrating to sitting on the couch off-camera and watching him drive irl instead of having the stream on in the background
you were originally like, “oh it’s just because i wanna drool over his massive veiny hands” 🤤
but now it’s like “oh i wonder what each button he presses with his nicely proportioned fingers on the steering wheel does?”
and slowly it transforms from “wow my boyfriend is so cool” to “wait…this sim-racing thing is kinda cool”😵‍💫
now imagine you being like “lol wait a minute now” and being like i'm only interested in because my boyfriend loves it 🤥
in order to disprove this theory you start to ask max questions about virtual racing
not that you wouldn’t before, but they were fairly surface level; now you’re asking him about tactics, strategies, and track conditions etc.
and max is fucking thrilled 🫨🫨🫨 !!!
he eagerly answers all your questions (maxplaning 🥱), going way more into depth than you were expecting, but what did you think was going to happen
max is always happy to ramble about any small facet of virtual racing (doesn’t matter if it’s the sim, or iracing, or f1 2023) but
it makes him really pleased that you’re showing a genuine interest in it because most people don’t
you support him in anything he wants to do wholeheartedly, and listening and answering your well thought out questions has him falling head over heels for you again
so, he thinks nothing of it other than you being the best girlfriend he’s ever had and trying to learn more about what he loves
his previous girlfriends didn’t really care to understand how important vr racing was to him
they all just saw it as him playing a “game” and him wasting time when they could’ve been on dates or smth
anyways
everything is going fine and dandier, max continues to answer all of your vr racing questions, and you continue to watch him pilot the sim
until, he catches you watching a beginner’s guide on f1 2023 and get’s so jealous 😒
bro is all like “wtf, you’re watching some lame ass unranked gamer when i’m your professional driver boyfriend who does this for a living?? hell nah if you want to start playing i’ll teach you”
you’re just like, “nahhhh….i don’t want to waste your time trying to teach me, it’s not worth it. i’m not even a good driver irl, so—“
max shuts that down expeditiously
if his girlfriend wants to start vr racing, he only has one option
make you the best virtual racer there ever was (excluding him)
you’re wide-eyed like, “i just wanna go vroom vroom in circles for fun 😭”
max deathly serious, “that was never an option”
he enlists you in his virtual-racing training camp
if you are aware of the disney rapid training montage where the mc sings one song and suddenly they’re the best fighter ever, that’s how i imagined it
mulan, for example, i’ll make a man out of you
max reveals his inner george russell, he becomes a power point king
instead of date nights being cute pottery classes—they turn into him teaching you the parts of the car, the buttons on the wheel, f1 2023 settings breakdowns, reviewing iracing competitions etc.
eventually max finally allows you to play on the sim after he thinks you’ve got the theory down pretty good
you suck at first 🤗
but then you start clocking in some hours
after work, during your “lunch break”, using the sim while max is gone and playing during all the practice and media sessions
whenever max is gone, and you have any questions or ask for feedback on how to get better, you text him all about it, of course not expecting an immediate response back
max has told you before that he likes getting out of the car after a practice session and checking his phone to see all the missed messages from you with some wishing him luck and the others asking for his thoughts on your strategies
one day, he’s going for lunch with some of the other drivers and they start to make fun of him for how he’s stuck in his phone, heart-eyes and all as he rapidly texts you
they probably think that you’re sending him cute texts or photos like that one time they caught him looking at photos of you and learned he had a locked photo album of you on his phone ☠️
max remains unbothered under their teasing thinking, “they don’t know my gf can out pace them by .200 in f1 2023”
max even personally bothers christian into getting him another sim for you
christian is so tired of you two, max won’t leave him ALONE
i think max would text his team principal screenshots of your lap times and make jokes about it
“if checo keeps dnf-ing, my gf can fill in”
christian gets you the goddamn sim 😒
y’all procrastinate on building and calibrating it, max more so because it means his chair would stop smelling like you 🥺
you get it set up, but you still play on his sim every once in a while after he told you that because you’re a simp
he goes to stream one day, planning on practicing with the redline team for an upcoming iracing event
and the man almost BREAKS HIS LEGS trying to sit down because you forgot to move the chair back after you were done using it 😭😭
in between his groan of pain he let’s it slip “ow fuck, my girlfriend forgot to move the seat back after she was done”
chat goes ducking crazy
yooo, what? ur gf sim races???
is she good???
max is like “hell fucking yeah my girlfriend is great sim racer, she could replace one of the boys at redline if she wanted too!”
(team redline sweats anxiously, mics now suspiciously silent)
max continues, “well she is not as great as me, but she’s good i guess”
stream chat “they are going to have babies that completely dominate f1” “if their babies are born in the netherlands we will be stuck in purgatory cursed with hearing the dutch anthem forever”
max continues with his practice but everyone is begging to see you play, even some of the redline guys are asking questions
they wanna know if they’re really at risk of you stealing their seat
max gives up and turns to you on the couch with a smile and says, “i will beg, schatje. do not put it past me, we all want to see you drive. some people are saying i’m lying so you have to prove them wrong🙇🏼”
you’re like “what 😅 no 😧i suck 🤭 at this 🤗” but you’re already getting up and walking over to boot up your sim
the urge to flex on people and embarrass them is something both you and max share
max opens f1 2023 and starts a party for just you two, and you both decide to do quali laps at zandovoort
you do your hot lap first, and max goes after you
max y’ know, probably thinks that he can take it relatively easier on you, there’s no reason to put 100% effort into something for fun, so he puts in 95% 😀 (competitive boy)
and you know that one nepenthez meme
that’s how this goes
max is like, already rambling to the stream “yeah that’s a comfortable p1, she still has a lot to learn before she can beat a world champ—P2??!!!! 😧😳”
you’re just in the background in your sim chair, turned facing the camera with an innocent little smirk smile on your face ☺️
you got pole by .050, and chat starts bullying max, the redline boys laughing hysterically in his headphones
max requests a rematch and promptly annihilates you :)
i like to imagine that eventually you start joining max’s stream and the two of yous start having little racing tournaments whenever you guys have the time
omg could you imagine the little championship ceremony where you put party hats on jimmy and sassy and have fake little tiny gold trophies for whoever wins 🥹
imagine one day ‼️ you actually start doing iracing events, and just working your way up to being one of the best 😌
ANYWAYS to wrap it up, best teacher max ever
virtual racing 🤝 strong relationships
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twitter • today
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instagram
maxverstappen1 • 32 mins ago
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liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo3, and 7,324,122 ofhers
maxverstappen1 the only woman for me 🧎🏼
tagged yninstagram
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yninstagram baby. baby—😭😭😭😭
➥ maxverstappen1 i love you
➥ yninstagram what the fuck has gotten into you 😳 i love you, maxy 🫶🏽
user the way ‼️ he cradles ‼️ her head 😭😭
danielricciardo3 this genuinely the sappiest thing max has ever said
➥ maxverstappen1 do not worry daniel you are the only man for me
➥ user my therapist will be hearing about this
user the fact that max personally handmade that meme 💀
user never thought i’d see the day that max uses the kneeling emoji
➥ maxverstappen1 i’m on my knees for her more often than you think
➥ user alRIGHT go ahead and clock out for me 😒
➥ redbullracingf1 do you remember the media training we had two days ago, max?
taglist: @lorarri | @saintslewis | @cherry2stems | @sweetpiccolo-blog
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© httpsserene2023
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nymphaliia · 20 days
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𐙚 TOKYO REVENGERS SMUT
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୨୧ gamer!boyfriend!rindou x f!reader
— your boyfriend is a pro gamer and spends all of his time at his desk. and of course, his sweet girlfriend spends all of her time at his desk too, specifically under.
cw : oral (m!receiving), throat fuck, mouth cockwarming, cum swallow, slight cum play, dumbification, "slut"...
my masterlist : ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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rindou is your oh so sweet boyfriend, so kind and attentive. he spoils you and treats you so well you can't help but want to return the favour.
but what good can you be ? you've got no money and rin most likely already has everything he wants.
don't worry though! rin is quick to chase that worry away from that cute little brain of yours! you want to please your boyfriend that much is that right? surely you must know another way to please him instead of material good ?
that's when rindou uses your desperate desire to thank him, to manipulate his dumb girlfriend into her knees to keep him warm during his intense game sessions.
devoted as you are, you'll stay here and agree right? that's the only thing rin ever asked of you, you can definitely do him this favour.
you need no more convincing and you're greedily waiting for any command from him, desperate to show him just how grateful you are for his kind treatment.
you look up through your eyelashes at your boyfriend's face, meekly kneeling between his spreading legs. he looks so hot, all serious and frowning, muttering curses under his breath, translating his frustration at his game.
when he finally gets a more peaceful moment, he takes that as his cue to unzip his pants without a word, eyes riveted to his screen.
he doesn't look at you when he reveals his hard on and only tells you to keep it in your mouth. you mustn't move, he tells you, just keep him warm and wet, and then maybe you'll get a reward.
so you do, obediently opening wide for him and swallowing his whole length until its tip is kissing the back of your throat and your nose is touching his pubic hair. you try your best to relax your airways, feeling tears already building up.
but you finally adjust and manage to not move an inch, keeping still like he warned you to. your jaw is aching like crazy by the first fifteen minutes and time feels way longer than it should.
but you feel so good around him! the simple thought of helping rin relax is enough to get you going another ten minutes. his praises are like music to your ears and when he tells you how much of an adorable little slut you are, it feels special, and great.
rin loves to use you. the way you look under him is enough to keep him hard for another hour. he avoids looking down at you, knowing he'll be met with your big doe eyes, a terribly sweet contrast to how your plump lips are stretched around his fat cock. he knows he won't be able to complete his game if he catches your pretty face servicing him from under.
but even though you don't move and he doesn't look at you, he can only imagine what you look like right now. a pool of saliva dangling from your chin, some tainting your top. you look depraved, with glossy eyes and rosy cheeks, submissive hands delicately resting at the top of your lap.
all of this just makes him want to fuck your throat until you can't think of anything else but his dick. which might already be the case considering how you've been swallowing him for the past thirty minutes now, nostrils breathing in his strong scent.
so he makes sure to use your mouth as a fleshlight the second he wins his game, claiming he needs his reward for finishing number one. and you comply enthusiastically, readjusting your posture to prepare yourself for what's to come.
he takes your head in his hands, one holding the top, fingers roughly laced in your hair in a strong knot, and the other placed firmly on your nape.
you let him guide you up and down his length, jaw all mushy and ready to be used however. it hurts and your body is aching from the position you've been sitting in. but you say nothing, figuring his pleasure is your priority right now. his low grunts make you shiver and encourage you to keep bobing your head up and down.
it feel obscene. gags and sloppy sounds are bouncing off the walls, barely covering rin's own blissful moans. your eyes are burning and your reflexes are getting bolder, praying you for a breath, so you dig your nails in your flesh hoping it'll help you stay in place.
you feel rindou chase his own high, his thrusts are getting more uncontrolled, he keeps whispering dirty words and sweetly insults you. and when he feels it coming, he locks your head in place with his arm chocking you.
he tells you to stay still. "I'm- I'm gonna cum baby, fuck, make sure to catch all of it okay?" and you do, unmoving, receiving his seeds gratefully like an angel receiving a favour from god.
you feel light-headed by the time he finishes painting your mouth white, thick rope of cum pooling inside and forcing you to taste the sour and bitter liquid. him letting go of your face feels like a liberation and if it wasn't for the sperm in your mouth you would've panted like a dog the moment his dick slowly slid out of your mouth, sensitive from the recent orgasm.
"that's my good girl. always such a pretty cock sucker for me" he babied, slightly pating your cheek condescendingly, soft dick lazily kept in hand.
"did you like my gift baby? come on show me your reward sweet face" rin watched in satisfaction as you nodded eagerly and opened wide to show him the mouthful of cum he just dumped inside you.
he softly praised you and encouraged you to swallow after you played with it for a bit, turning it around in your mouth like it was the most delicious juice ever.
"god, you're such a useful little cum slut baby, this made me so happy. are you gonna let me use your throat again tomorrow angel?"
and how else can you answer if not by a cheerful "yes!" and a quick peck to his dick to show rin just how happy you are now that you can prove yourself to be just as capable of making his days better, like he does with you!
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darth-sonny · 1 year
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sometimes you just gotta check
[quote from gamer's guide to pretty much everything]
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Chairs and Spots (Vil/Chubby!Reader/Idia)
Another low effort fun thingy. Vil and Idia are always ready to burn stuff for the sake of (Y/N)'s happiness.
NOTE: I only write for female reader but everyone is welcome to read it!
— (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)
Idia Shroud is burning a gamer chair in the middle of the woods.
Vil never thought he’d ever put those words together to make a sentence, but here he is, guided by his forever cheerful Vice Housewarden after he asked the man where one of his crushes is to deliver some papers for the Headmage. And here is Idia, looking angrier than Vil has ever seen, the usual grumpy expression twisted into pure rage as his hair flickers an insistent red, so insistent that if he tells Vil he started the fire with his hair, the Housewarden of Pomefiore would absolutely believe him.
Idia looks really good when genuinely angry, the blonde won’t even pretend to deny how attracted to the guy he feels.
That doesn’t change the fact that he’s burning a gamer chair in the middle of the woods.
“Shroud, what in the name of the Fair Queen are you doing?”
“... Mr. Schoenheit,” comes the reply, his usually whispery voice now much stronger and even a bit husky. “I’m burning a chair.”
“I gathered that, yes, I’m wondering why you’re burning a chair in the middle of the woods,” Vil ignores the chill that runs down his spine at the other’s voice.
“... the wheel popped off when my girlfriend sat on it, and it made her cry over her weight,” Idia seems to get even angrier, almost spitting out fire as he points his magic pen to the chair again. “That is unacceptable!”
Right, Idia’s girlfriend. Vil’s other crush. The sweet girl from another world, the one everyone affectionately calls “Prefect”, the always kind and reliable Housewarden of Ramshackle. The sweetest girl with an unfair insecurity over her weight, who tries to hide and belittles her own person because of her appearance, unable to see how beautiful her plump cheeks are, and how gorgeous her thick thighs are, and how breathtaking her large hips are, and how otherworldly how her round tummy is.
Vil hates that he can see the scene so well: the girl sitting on the chair with her always so cheerful smile, only for it all to halt as the sound of something bringing trouble. She looks down and the offending wheel greets her mockingly. (Y/N) then quickly gets up and apologizes frantically despite the Shroud brothers’ best efforts to stop her from spiraling.
The brothers probably had to spend at least one hour to get her to forget it, and Ortho is most likely trying to keep her distracted right now while Idia deals with the chair.
“Step aside, Shroud,” Vil clicks his tongue, bringing out his own pen. “I will help you.”
To think their first outing—in person—after figuring out his feelings for Idia would be the two burning an offending piece of furniture for making the sweetest woman in the world cry. And they bond over it too, the fire far too cathartic to stop their huffs and grumbles—yes, Vil allows himself to grumble like that little apple. Their grumbles eventually evolve into plans, and just as the fire goes out with a dying whisper, they stand, shoulder on shoulder, scrolling through chair listings on Idia’s tablet. Rook hiding on some tree branch, no doubt.
A day after that incident, they’re both in the Ignihyde Housewarden room, watching with pleased smiles as (Y/N) sits on the new chair, giggling as she spins once or twice.
“Oh, boys, this is incredible! So comfy and pretty!”
“V-Vil helped pick it,” Idia tells her, the tips of his hair a very charming pink to match his cheeks, his grin far softer than his teeth.
“Of course, your knowledge on functionality gave me the perfect foundation to build on.”
Idia directs his soft grin to Vil and the blonde has to fight back a blush of his own, delighted by the atmosphere between them. Finding a chair together has been a fulfilling experience, not only as someone with a crush, but someone who appreciates learning. Idia’s knowledge on the mechanics of pretty much everything played off Vil’s knowledge about aesthetic and wellbeing beautifully. Makes him wonder what else they could do if they worked together more. 
“Thank you so much, you two!” (Y/N) hops off the chair, skipping her way to them.
Before they can say anything, she hugs both of them, pressing a kiss to their cheeks. Vil’s heart speeds up at the feeling of her soft lips on his cheek, and Idia’s hair gives him away. (Y/N) gives them a last squeeze before letting go to celebrate the new chair with the younger Shroud.
Both boys look at each other, and Vil cannot stop the scheming grin that grows on his face, specially when Idia’s hair gets pinker and he averts his eyes like a romance novel girl with a crush.
“... Idia, I hope there’s a spot for me in your relationship.”
“Hrk!”
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buckets-and-trees · 9 months
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Late Night Quickie
Fandom: MCU Collection: SHIELD Gaming AU Title: Late Night Quickie Characters/Pairings: Joaquin Torres x Natasha Romanoff Word Count: 1.2k
Summary: It's still all hands on deck around the clock as time is running our for SHIELD to finish implementing an industry-changing element into the version of The Avengers they're about to send in for game approval before the beta test can be launched soon at PAX East. But Bucky and his game tester aren't the only ones at SHIELD entangled in a very satisfying side quest...
Content Warnings: smut, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, praise, dacryphilia, age gap (Nat is 10 years Joaquin's senior)
Logistical Notes: Third tick for my Bingo Card in @the-slumberparty's August/September Challenge with B2: "Clothes on Sex." Same universe as Perfectionists and Test Play but can be read as a standalone - all you need to know is Steve, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, and Joaquin are the five-person team of game engineers for the SHIELD Gaming company.
Additional Notes: Thank you @vonalyn for reading this for coherency. Gamer graphic by @sgt-seabass. Dedicated to my co-conspirator for "A Very Horny Monday to You All..." @biteofcherry for our first week of mischief - she chose the theme 'oral quickies.' We can all lovingly blame her for this!
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
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2am.
Two fucking a-m.
Joaquin just grinned.
This was not the week any of them wanted or expected, and he certainly didn't want this to ever be the norm. But running off adrenaline, catching only a few hours of sleep (if he was lucky), lots of Red Bull, and late-night food orders to make up for what the typical in-house kitchen wasn't covering was something he couldn't deny was an experience.
Teams all across SHIELD Gaming had been and still were working around the clock to get the shelved-for-later Deep Shadow Conditions mode back into the release SHIELD was going to submit to the first party platforms for approval in just a few days. Marketing, story, game engineering, testers… everyone. It was a rush, pushing the limits for this short period of time, but they were close to pulling off a triumph with embedding Deep Shadow. Joaquin had loved the pitch for that aspect when it was originally floated, they had initiated the development, but then a couple of the execs had said to push it back to the next release. Fury had called the audible and said they needed to put it back in to top what HYDRA was developing with Project Insight. But Joaquin had always known Deep Shadow would really push them miles past everything else coming out right now.
That’s why he didn’t mind pulling these insane hours to get the work done with the rest of the engineers.
And he certainly didn’t mind this.
He had no problem leaning back against the wall of the women’s restroom, jeans unzipped, Natasha poised between his legs, and her pretty lips around his cock, deep throating him.
Fuck she looked so good like that. They hadn’t had enough time together since the Deep Shadow blitz, and he was so glad she’d pulled him into the bathroom right now. Her left hand was anchored on his hip, and the other was reaching up his shirt, roving over his abs and chest as his threaded into her hair, holding her head at the base of her skull. He was letting her control the pace and how much of his length she took in for now, just holding her, feeling that connection.
Joaquin had been under no illusion in the beginning that this absolute goddess who was ten years his senior had only been flirting with him because it was fun and had no intentions beyond more than maybe a night or two tumbling in bed together. But he’d had a hunch they could have more, that he wanted more, and categorically convinced her they were worth a shot.
He worshipped her but challenged her in a way no one else did. He knew that’s why she’d even started flirting with him, appreciating that he could go round for round with her sass, her sarcasm, and her saucy comments without getting flustered or cocky and the rest of their conversation – work and casual – had rolled along so easily like they’d been working together for years after only a few weeks.
Now they were eight months into an officially-disclosed-to-HR relationship – but not to their team because they did not need Cap, Sam, or Bucky in their business. Work was work, and until tonight, the physical had stayed outside of HQ.
It spoke to how little time they’d had together that they were here right now.
And he was just as hungry for her as she was for him.
Joaquin took over and pulled her head down slowly on him, drawing Nat down to take all of him, the tip of his cock hitting the back of her throat, then gently nudging further down her esophagus. She moaned around him, her hands flexing against him. “You always take me so well, Romanov.”
He knew she loved this. She was a cocky little minx and so loved the praise. In response she sunk the rest of the way down his cock. He groaned in ecstasy. Love this.
“Fuck, I could stay here with you on my dick until your legs give out.”
She tightened her grip on his hip.
“But I wanna fuck this pretty throat of yours, babe.”
A small noise from her as she stayed just as she was, their eyes locked on each other.
“That’s what you really wanted, isn’t it?”
Those lust-blown green eyes told him everything, and he grinned wickedly down at her. Abruptly twisting them around to place her on her knees with her back against the wall, he made sure she was secure before asking, "Ready for me?"
She hummed again.
He smirked. “Desperate for me?”
A growl this time.
He laughed. “Me, too, babe.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek, one more tender moment, then he slowly pulled out until only the head of the cock was the only thing she had her lips around. She sucked hard, hollowing her cheeks, and swirled her tongue over the leaking tip of him. “Oh, you’re so fucking good. Love that talented tongue. But now you’re really gonna take me.”
She nodded, eyes blazing with heat. He moved his right hand to cradle her cheek and jawline as he leaned his left forearm against the wall to brace himself, and then he thrust back into her wet mouth. He continued, pistoning his hips in and out, brutally but not recklessly. She clung to his shirt, his hips, anything from moment to moment. Her eyes watered, then the tears started to spill, and he groaned. “So pretty for me like this. Those gorgeous tears falling for me, just like you fall apart for me.”
And then he just focused on the feel of her around his cock, the heat, the sounds of him sliding in and out, her whimpers and moans. The frenzy built and then he spilled into her mouth and down her throat, hips stuttering to a stop, and she held him there in place, swallowing every bit of him until he was done. She pulled her mouth off him with a deliberately audible pop, smug, beautiful goddess that she was.
She slid up between his heaving chest and the wall, brushing her lips against his jaw with soft, playful kisses. “Like that?”
“Love that,” he corrected. “Bet your cunt’s a hot, drippy mess for me, isn’t she?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she teased before claiming his lips in a kiss, tangling their tongue so he could taste the evidence of his spend, and pushing her pelvis up against him.
“Meet back here in an hour?”
“Fuck, I’m hoping we can convince them there’s nothing more to do tonight and get out of here in the next hour. Then you’re taking me home to fuck me in your bed properly.”
He laughed, “Anything for my Natalia.”
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lauramkaye · 1 year
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Disco Elysium For Beginners
So apparently my cunning plan is working and some of my mutuals are interested in learning more about my recent obsession by playing the game Disco Elysium. Great!!! In your honor, and so that I will have more people to talk about the game with, I present to you Laura's Beginner's Guide to Playing Disco Elysium.
What Is It Even About?
Hope, despair, poverty, the human condition, politics, pinball, art, love, loss, communism, experiencing a bisexual awakening in your forties, colonization, dancing, substance use disorders, unions, mental illness, truth, trying to be a good person in a completely broken society, beauty, the end of the world, joy, complicated relationships, kindness, intersectionality, the complex and problematic nature of the profession of police detective, cryptids, juvenile delinquents, PTSD, and falling helplessly in love with Kim Kitsuragi.
Oh wait, did you mean the plot?
You play as an amnesiac detective who wakes up after an apocalyptic bender that obliterated his memories. There is a dead body hanging in a tree behind your hotel, and you are there to find out who killed him with the help of Kim Kitsuragi, a detective from another precinct who has also been put on the case and who will be your partner while you are in town. You can, as the official site puts it, "become a hero, or an absolute disaster of a human being."
Where to Get It
Disco Elysium is available for Mac and PC via Steam and for XBox and Playstation (both current and previous generation) and Nintendo Switch. The current version is "The Final Cut" which includes full voice acting. The Steam version goes on sale pretty frequently - I'd keep an eye on Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales if you're interested in picking it up. The MSRP is $40 but you can often find it for around $20 if you look for a sale - the PS4 version is $17 on Amazon right now (11/15/2022).
I'm Not Really A Gamer, Can I Still Play?
Absolutely! DE does not require any "twitchy" gameplay - you interact with the game by reading/listening to text, selecting dialogue options to talk to people, and clicking things/people to interact with them in some way. It runs very much like a tabletop RPG, where all the uncertain things are decided by skill checks and dice rolls.
Notably, DE is quite replayable even though the solution to the mystery doesn't change, because different character builds will have very different experiences and may even see completely different sidequests and dialogue. Unlike most RPGs, DE makes many checks silently, in the background, and if you don't pass the check you just don't see the relevant content and never know you missed anything. I'm on my third full and sixth partial playthrough and I still find new things.
Mechanically, playing Disco Elysium goes something like this:
Go into a new area.
Look around. You will see little colored circles appearing, either on top of items/people in the environment, or sometimes around your player character's head.
Click on the colored circles to interact with them. You will learn something, do something, or start a conversation.
Doing stuff and talking to people gives you XP! Every time you get 100 XP, you get one Skill Point. You can either use it to increase one of your skills, unlock a slot in your Thought Cabinet, or forget a Thought from your Thought Cabinet. You don't have to spend them right away; you can save them up if you want to.
Once you have clicked everything you want to click and talked to everyone you want to talk to for now, go somewhere else.
Repeat.
What the Hell is a Thought Cabinet?
As you go through the game, you will unlock "thoughts" that you can ponder. You have a certain number of slots in your "thought cabinet" where you can be mulling over an idea; you start with three slots and can unlock more up to a max of 12. Thoughts will have certain effects while you are thinking about them, which might be positive or negative. While you are still thinking them over, you can equip or unequip them at will. Each "thought project" takes a specific amount of time.
Once you have spent the designated time on a thought project, you will see the message "Breakthrough Imminent" and then you will "internalize" the thought. The thought will have effects on the gameplay, which can include skill buffs and debuffs or other effects. Once the thought is internalized, you can no longer unequip it. It will take up that slot permanently unless you spend another skill point to forget it.
So what thoughts should I internalize?
A lot of them are mainly for flavor or role-playing but a few notable ones:
Actual Art Degree gives you bonus XP when you pass a passive Conceptualization check. This is the most common passive check in the game, so AAD is the thought to take if you want to get as many skill points as possible. You unlock the thought by talking about art as much as you can.
Get Jamais Vu as early as you can on Day 1 by talking with Joyce Messier at the dock. It opens up some key dialogue options and skill checks as well as giving you bonus XP whenever you click an orb.
Ace's High or Ace's Low gives you extra Empathy bonuses towards Kim. Which you will want, because Kim is the Best.
Wompty-Dompty-Dom Centre is available starting on Day 3 and will give you $2 and some XP when you pass an Encyclopedia check.
Homo-Sexual Underground. Its only effect is to allow you to talk about sexuality with Kim. Therefore it is the most important thought in the game, because approximately 90% of players will be in love with Kim by the second in-game day.
Okay, What About Skills?
Your character "build" (strengths, weaknesses, abilities, etc.) is primarily determined by two things that you can adjust as the game progresses by spending Skill Points: Skills and Thoughts.
Skills in DE are similar to skills in other RPGs in that they determine how good you are at various things. The main difference is that instead of the more traditional skills like strength, dexterity, or charisma, DE has skills like Savoir Faire, Rhetoric, and Empathy. As befits a game that emphasizes the story and characters over combat, the skills are a lot less about how good you are at punching monsters and a lot more about the state of your character's head. The skills are broken down into four categories:
Blue or Intellect skills - brainy stuff like Logic, Rhetoric, and Encyclopedia.
Purple or Psyche skills - emotional stuff like Empathy, Volition, and Authority.
Red or Physical skills - the condition of your physical body. Endurance, Electrochemistry, and Pain Threshold live here.
Yellow or Motorics skills - how well you use your physical body. Things like Hand Eye Coordination, Perception, and Composure.
There are good descriptions of each skill in the game. At the beginning, you can choose from three predefined archetypes (Thinker, Sensitive, or Physical) or create your own by allocating 12 points between the four skill categories and picking one skill as your "signature."
What Is The Best Skill Build?
There isn't an "best" one! You can play the game equally successfully with any build, but different builds will feel very different to play, especially early in the game.
That said, I would recommend against doing a 3-3-3-3 build because it just won't be as fun. Most skills generally start to really show effects at around a 4, and failing skill checks is often funny and shouldn't lock you out of completing any checks except if you've done something really unusual.
Basically the "best" build for you is whatever is the most fun - pick something that speaks to you and go for it.
In general, Intellect builds will get a lot of worldbuilding and lore and be really good at detecting. Psyche builds will have a better sense of other people and the world and strong intuition. Physical builds tend to be able to punch their way through obstacles but aren't very smart or empathetic and struggle with following their gut instincts/cravings without thinking about it. Motorics builds will find several early-game skill checks a lot easier for them and will be good at skills like shooting, picking locks, noticing stuff, keeping cool under pressure, and talking about cars.
Some key things to consider when deciding on your character build:
Encyclopedia is the skill that gives you lore and worldbuilding information.
If you want to min-max your build to get as many skill points as possible, make sure you have good Conceptualization so you can unlock the thought Actual Art Degree.
Esprit de Corps is similar to Empathy, but it works specifically on other cops. Doing a run with high EDC helps unlock a ton of lore about many of the other key characters in the game.
Electrochemistry will try to get you to drink, smoke, have sex, and take drugs. It will also give you insights into the drinking/smoking/drugging/sex habits of others. VERY high EC will allow you to unlock a leopard-print unitard underwear option for your player character.
You have two health pools, Health and Morale. Health is affected by the Endurance skill and Morale is affected by the Volition skill. If you start a game with only 1 point in either purple or red skills, that can mean you die very easily early in the game. My first playthrough I did a high INT build and I died in the first room of the game from turning on the lights even though I had a terrible hangover. So just be aware.
Shivers is my favorite skill in the game and I'm not alone there. Shivers allows you to have a connection to your city. A lot of the best moments in the game come during Shivers checks and the writing is generally really evocative. Great for atmosphere.
My favorite skills are Esprit de Corps for character knowledge, Shivers for cool atmosphere, and Drama because Drama is just really funny.
What Else Do I Need To Know?
If you seem stuck, go somewhere else and talk to more people OR spend a skill point to level up a skill.
You can zoom in and out. My first playthrough I didn't realize this for a while and kept missing certain characters who were standing somewhere I needed to be zoomed out to see.
A lot of things that are usually part of game menus have to be unlocked. You get a map by buying it at the bookstore. You get your stats and to-do list by finding your police ledger.
Cuno seems horrible but if you gain his trust there's a lot of depth to his character. There is also a potential ending where Cuno acts as your partner during the endgame.
Do the sidequests. They are often the best stories in the game.
Don't be TOO afraid of disappointing Kim. If you avoid being racist/sexist/hurting people, he will usually come around.
That said, if you play as a terrible person he won't be your friend anymore. I don't know how people can take the emotional trauma of that, but some people do!
Save frequently, Just In Case.
Don't be too hasty to reset. Let things play out. Most of the deaths are pretty funny and sometimes you might think you died but really you didn't.
That said, it's fine to reload a save if you messed something up. It's a single player game, it isn't "cheating" to do this if you want to.
If you fail the red check at the church it is extra double okay to reload a save and make that not have happened. (This is probably one of the two highest-stakes skill checks in the game because if you succeed you get one of the best scenes in the game and if you fail you get one of the worst.)
Look at everything and talk to everyone.
I like to keep at least one unused skill point at all times in case I need to unlock a skill check I've failed once.
If you arrest someone or send the body to Processing, Kim will be gone for the rest of the day. There are some things you can only do with him and some you can only do without him, so plan accordingly.
Hope this helps and always feel free to ask if you want more help/get stuck/need hints/just want to scream about the game with me!!
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spinningbuster98 · 4 months
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Castlevania II Simon's Quest Part 2: Crouching Belmont Hidden Pathway
Beating Castlevania II without a guide on hand is borderline impossible.
I know this has been said plenty of times in the past but this really needs to be pointed out just in case someone thinks it’s an exaggeration
You see it’s not simply the fact that, as was the case with many open ended adventure games back then, this game features no map, in fact I’d say that Castlevania II is way better than Metroid 1 in this regard because it does a much better job at making most areas feel distinct so that it’s indeed possible to navigate this game without a map
It’s about just how downright cryptic getting to your next objective often is
It’s not just about finding the next mansion it’s about figuring out how to get there and this often requires you to get specific items, go to specific locations and perform specific actions in order to trigger specific events
The game does an absolutely miserable job at communicating stuff to you and while many will be quick to point out that it’s all the fault of the shitty english translation that’s only half true: while some clues are indeed more useful in the original japanese text, others are still incredibly vague, not to mention that many of these clues, useful or not, are often found within breakable walls that have no visible markers that may clue you in to the fact that they’re breakable, essentially the same issue as Metroid 1 where you’d have to bomb (or in this case throw Holy Water at) everything just in case there’s a hidden passage. In fact I’d say it’s worse here because, at least in my opinion, in Metroid 1 it’s purely about finding the path to proceed and the world in general is more interconnected, here if you miss a clue you probably won’t be thinking about going back to one of the mansions to throw Holy Water at the walls just on the off chance that you might find something because, as it turns out, plenty of clues (though not all) are found within the Mansions, and even those that are not can still be every bit as cryptically hidden as everything else here
Call me cynical but I think that this was all pretty intentional. And before anyone says “Yeah but I was able to complete this game all by myself in the 80s and we didn’t have Internet like you kids have nowadays!” No but you DID have gaming magazines and Nintendo Power, which Konami absolutely knew because Castlevania II was essentially the star of its very second volume which featured an extensive guide of the game’s first half.
This is an aspect of retro game design, specifically old adventure games, that has always pissed me off and I’m surprised no one ever mentions this because this stuff is almost on the same level as microtransactions or forced DLC: purposefully making the game almost impossible to complete without a guide so as to push the little kiddies to shell out for the next edition of a game magazine. I guarantee that if companies pulled this shit nowadays you’d get a legion of angry youtubers bitching about this nonstop but because this was a thing back when most gamers were still kids nobody thinks about this and some even have fond memories of looking up game guides and such. It’s one thing to make a game hard like the original CV but that can still be beaten with hardwork, it’s another to make another that can only be beaten by painstakingly combing every pixel in the game until you find what you’re looking for while companies flash a bright and tantalizing game guide in your face
And Castlevania II unfortunately is the poster boy for this kind of mentality
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sketchfanda · 3 months
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A Little Moxxie Love:Game On!
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It was days like this that Gaz often hated the most in her dreary little life, in this middle of nowhere town. Despite the odd entertainment from her big brother trying to be a beacon of sanity and logic in a town full of apathetic morons and the presence of a total failure of a would be alien conqueror, she was finding herself bored. Absolutely bored out of her mind to a point that not even her usual outlet of video games could do anything about it. Suffice to say, she fucking hated it.
So of course a bored Gaz made for a different sort of Gaz especially at her age when puberty and hormones really hit the jackpot on her body. Not to mention left her with quite the libido which of course meant a bored Gaz made for a very horny Gaz, hence her current situation at this time. Wherein she borrowed some of her erstwhile big brother's stock of spelldrives which she had set up in a nice clear spot in her gamer den of a room, in a way that was reminiscent of a Satanic ritual. Which it pretty much was, according to the instructions on this website she found up, it was amazing what you could find online these days.
The thicc semi-shortstack gamer babe checked back and forth between her summoning circle and the copy of the ritual guide she had printed out, nodding her head as everything seemed accurate enough. Usually this sort of crap required stuff like candles and the kind of stuff witches liked to throw into their spell cauldrons, but with this all it took was the push of a button and if this worked out right, Gaz was sure to likely get some well hung demon hulk who could fuck her so hard that she would be numb and practically in an erotic coma. At least she figured that's what this ritual would give her, its guarantee was that it would produce the finest sexual lover in all of Hell itself to satisfy her sexual cravings, all without having to risk anything like her immortal soul. So what did she have to lose?
Gaz:*checks the printed out guide and instructions, making sure everything was set up as need be. Time to see what sort of standards hell had it when it came sexually satisfying a succubus.*"Alright let's see now.....huh, this stuff's like setting up that mousetrap board game, a hassle when you start but worth it once you start playing it. Lights off, circle drawn, glowsticks in place of candles...let's rock..."*The intimidating gamer girl figured she might recommend this to some friends of hers like Me-KO if this proved to be an experience worth it. Typing in the key magic words as soon her elaborate spell-drive Satanic ritual began to kick into effect.*
Her bedroom began to glow with an eerie crimson hue, violet fog flooding the floor as the spell-drives pulsed with electrical currents, power running akin to a Tesla coil as the Pentagram formed a soft tornado of red smoke. This was it, time to see what sort of horse cocked incubus or knot packing hellhound would be pounding and stretching her pussy something fierce. Only for her eagerness to deflate like a balloon losing its air as the light show ended, the crimson twister fading to reveal...AN IMP?!! That was the ideal sexual lover in all of the 9 circles of brimstone and damnation, the lowest creature on the totam pole in all demon hierarchy?!!
This of course wasn't just any ordinary imp of course but our one and only favourite resident sweet possum boi Moxxie, who had nothing but a towel around his waist as this summoning ritual happened to kick in just as he had finished showering after a recent hit. Last thing he needed was to head home with Millie and Loona while still covered in blood and viscera when next thing he knows, this shit happens AGAIN?! All the poor little guy could think was hopefully it wasn't that Joy girl again, that goth babe had been a FREAK!! He swore that Herron girl had to be a succbus in human skin as he adjusted his golden eyes to the lighting and spotted Gaz and ooh he had a feeling that look on her face made it clear first impression weren't off to a good start.
Moxxie:"Well uhm....this is awkward....have to say far as this kind of thing goes, the techno/cyberpunk approach is pretty new to me. I mean not my first time being summoned believe you me and uhm..." *Oh he was trying to break the ice, points for effort but the short-stack gamer girl clearly wasn't in the mood. As she stomped on over to him which made her sizeable tits and ass jiggle and bounce in a way that was hypnotic and just called to be ogled. Her bangs nearly covering her eyes thus hiding a fierce gaze on par with certain demon overlords, reminding Moxxie that he didn't exactly have ways to defend himself given his current state of nudity. Only for him to scream indignantly as she suddenly reached out and grabbed his towel.*"Hey now, watch it there!!"
Gaz:"Zip it short-round!! I can't believe that bullshit stiffed me like this, best lover in all of Hell my-"*Whatever no doubt profanity laden rant Gaz was about to go on came to a screeching halt soon as she pulled Moxxie's towel off. Her jaw dropping, a blush on her face as she laid eyes on the biggest, thickest COCK she had ever seen, its length and girth would make many a pornstar, black man (and especially black porn stars), even horses feel like inadequate eunuchs!! Suddenly she was starting to see that maybe the spelldrives' ritual criteria wasn't flase advertising, christ this dick wasn't even hard yet and she was still turned on. Her facial expression suddenly shifting 180 into a look of erotic thirst and raw, sensual devotion.*"Mmmm, on second thoughts maybe this will be good for both of us....Daddy...."
Moxxie:*pupils dilating to pinpricks as he felt his spine tingling, he knew that look and tone in Gaz's face and voice oh so very well. That husky tune of desire, the lusty glow in her eyes as her expression was some mix of love at first sight and bitch going into heat. From Millie to Loona, to more than a good few of his sex-friends, booty calls and what have you especially Verosika, there was no doubt Gaz had one thing on her mind and if he wanted to get back to Imp City in one piece? He had to give it to her until she could determine she was more than satisfied.*"If this is going where it seems to be....wouldn't it be more fair to not have me be the only one naked right now?"
Gaz licked her lips sensually as she puckered her lips and blew a kiss his way, giving him a little striptease show as she did a little sexy dance while starting to remove her clothes. Shooting him sultry glances over her shoulder as the shortstack cybergoth did little shakes and shimmies, making her ass clap and twerk as those meat buns rumbled with a rhythm of sexuality. Every article of clothing gone and more of her thicc, curvy and voluptuous frame exposed made the Imp's cock stir and rise to erect stiffness as Gaz's pussy drooled. Juices raining down into growing puddles on the floor to find that Imp cock was even more impressive once Moxxie got nice and hard, as she soon stood as naked as he was.
She didn't keep Moxxie waiting long to feel uncomfortable as she felt they'd admired one another's nudity long enough to stir their growing arousal and attraction, as the short-stack gamer babe closed the distance between them. The minimal height difference allowing them to press their lips together as they rode the flow of passion and primal desire guiding them as Gaz gently brought Moxxie to her bed. Helping him down as she broke their slopply lliplock, tongues dancing together one more time before a strand of saliva drifted between them as she began kissing and licking down his quite well toned torso. Especially his quite well built legs but oh the prize that stood between them was her main objective, her hand grasping that pulsing shaft as she eagerly began to pump it.
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Gaz:"Mmm damn, if selling my soul was in the deal, I'd gladly pay if it meant being your sex slave for access on the regular to this. No sex toy comes this close. You must have to beat bitches off with a stick or something...."*The kinky cybergoth quipped in a husky tone, breathing in the scent of Moxxie's musk as she began to plant licks and kisses on his cock from base to tip. Especially orally worshipping his balls as she suckled on them, as if coaxing the batter within to be delicious when she would taste it. Soon sandwiching his cock between her tits as she began to stroke him off with those luscious meaty marshmallows. Tongue scooping up the pre that oozed from the tip as she sucked on the exposed portion, drowning his shaft in a lubing shower of her drool as her thighs felt all warm and sticky from her overflowing arousal.*
Moxxie:"Ahhhn, you wouldn't be the first to tell me that..the sex slave part I mean.."*The imp humbly replied to Gaz's remark, turning her on at wondering just what sort of women here on Earth and the living world were addicts to this demonic dick. His groaning music to her ears before she felt him grasp her violet hair as he began to pump and thrust his hips. Ambushing Gaz with a sudden facefuck much to her lewd delight, helping him mount her shoulders as she held onto those quite firm feeling glutes of his. Grasping her hair firmly as he jackhammered away, his length and girth making her neck bulge with hos deep he was, those balls smacking her chin as she experienced an oral preview of what awaited her pussy.*
An experience she didn't have to wait long for as soon as Moxxie had cum, the taste of his jizz on her tongue as it oozed down her throat and the feel of it staining her face and tits setting off those primal switches in her brain. Going from needing her horny itch scratched to presenting herself as a bitch in heat eager to have the Imp rut her like he wanted her to his demon babies as her bedroom, usually filled with the sounds of her playing games was now filled with the sort of sounds she'd not usually want her if she had certain videos playing. That is without her headpones but right now she was feeling too damn good to care as the walls and ceiling echoed with her deepthroated moans, the rhythm of skin slapping, loin mashing sweaty animalistic sex. The bed shaking and creaking as her newfound Imp daddy proceeded to ruin her for other men, who needed to be blacked or bleached when you could get IMPED!!
Oh how Imped she got over and over as despite what his small frame implied, Moxxie was proving unintentionally why the spelldrives' ritual designated him as the ideal lover in all of the 9 circles of the Inferno. Pleasuring Gaz's luscious, curvy shortstack body with his quite skilled hands, after all handling a woman sexually was on par with handling a firearm in requiring care and precision. To say nothing of of the depth and reach of his penetration as Gaz found even when she topped, her new Imp Daddy was king in the bedroom. Small wonder with how many orgasms she was getting compared with how many she got out of him, enough to count on one hand and still have fingers left over.
But of course he hadn't hardly ever pulled out, making sure every eruption of his shaft was going into her womb or her asshole and what's more he had stamina to keep going and stay hard!! Gaz didn't believe in love at first sight but lust at first fuck was a different story and Imp Daddy was proving it to be true and she fucking loved every second and minute of it. Posing her slutty body for his admiration whenever she rode him cowgirl style or let him push her flexibility to the limit like doing a splits as they performed a standing fuck or got twisted into a human pretzel as she was jackhammered partway between a mating press and a piledriver, working her like some sort of pornographic butter churn. The pair showing no sighs of stopping only for as long as the ritual felt was necessary or required to meet Gaz's level of satisfaction.
Minutes passed into hours as they fucked and rutted long into the night, going from missionary to doggy, pretty much any and every intimate position that ensured pleasure. The bed becoming a mess of scattered sweat and juice stained sheets as the pair finally hit their peak, climaxing simultaneously as the sun was starting to rise. Gaz kissing the imp stud passionately as he was mounted atop her, her pussy squirting as he filled her womb to excess once more, one more time before exhausting caught up to them, the pair sleeping together as the afterglow took hold of them. By the time either of them woke up, Moxxie would find himself back in the bathroom of his and Millie's apartment while Gaz found herself alone, greeted by the morning light and the sensation of being sticky and deliciously sore all over, knowing what had happened wasn't a dream.
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While Moxxie of course took to finding and reassuring Millie of his whereabouts and return as well as calling Loona and some of the other girls, Gaz of course was showering as she played with herself to the memories of her newfound Imp daddy conquering her as hard as the scrubs and noobs she owned online. Before remembering that she had left her webcam on in secret, coming out as she toweled herself off to check that her secret porno stream had gone off successfully. Comments and pouring in as viewers and late comers were abuzz with questions and of course a few of them included Gaz's fellow gamer girls who were very curious as to whether or not Gaz could arrange a chance for them to meet her Imp Daddy.
The gears turned in the cybergoth's head as she made plans not only for her next erotic playdate with Moxxie, but a chance to make him quite infamous among her little social circle. Some naysayers were doubltful the whole thing had been real, thinking Moxxie was just a convincing cosplayer or some weird genetic experience her dad cooked up in his lab. Some were guys who now felt seriously inadequate, wondering how many of them could compete with a dick like that!! All the same to Gaz as she now had a new game to play offline in the real world, a little game she was going to call Get Imped....
To be continued?!!
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allysartblog · 1 year
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Sometimes I forget that Eduardo is an ex disney channel kid.
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heloflor · 6 months
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You know, considering how many posts I recently made about Movie Peach and how negative they are, there’s something I feel the need to clarify since I wouldn’t be surprised if people had some assumptions and I don’t want words I didn’t say being put into my mouth (Tl;Dr at the end):
As a completely original character, fully detached from everything other than the movie, I have no issues with Movie Peach. She’s badass in a fun way, spunky, has a few cute faces, and I especially appreciate how despite being a strong female character stereotype she’s very supportive of Mario and builds him up rather than putting him down, it makes her likeable and their relationship very cute.
And yes, this is the way I perceived her from the get-go, but only mentioned it in my movie reaction post made all the way back when said movie came out, hence needing to say it again now. To quote that post: “Least favorite character is DK. It could’ve been Peach but my issues with her stem from how different she is from her games counterpart. If you take her movie character as a brand-new character rather than a game adaptation, she’s actually pretty great as a guide and strong mentor.” And while there are things in this post I now disagree with, this part remains my current opinion.
So yeah, as an original character, she’s pretty great...but that’s also the issue.
Movie Peach is not an original character. She’s supposed to be an adaptation of a pre-existing character who already has her own personality. And as an adaptation, Movie Peach fails at every level. Not only that, but several dialogues keep hyping her up in a way that comes off as Illuminations looking down on Games Peach, you know, the character their own Peach is supposed to be an adaptation of.
That’s why I take such issue with Movie Peach. It’s not the character itself, it’s how bad of an adaptation she is. And if I did my job correctly, every single time I talk negatively of her in my posts, it’s about her as an adaptation specifically. The only instance of me being an ass for no reason is in my table comparison post where I call her a dumbass, which I point out in the tags to be me throwing shade and not something I actually believe.
Now I also want to say that I hate Movie Peach for what she represents and the consequences of her existence on Peach’s character and her perception by the public, so to keep it short I’m going with bullet points:
It annoys me a lot that a multi-million dollars company couldn’t be bothered to adapt her character properly, especially since they apparently closely worked with Nintendo and the concept art very much show them who Peach is as a person (the one where she’s encouraging Mario to fight DK reminds me of the 86 Anime where she keeps having Mario fight her battles while powerless to defend herself; also it’s funny how in the art of Games Peach reacting to Movie Peach it’s obvious the artist had no idea what personality Movie Peach has). The fact she’s a favorite character of mine doesn’t help and makes me feel robbed from seeing a beloved character on the big screen for the first time. And obviously them low-key insulting her by hyping up Movie Peach makes it worse.
Even before getting into the fandom I knew that Peach isn’t the most well-liked character, with many gamers especially finding her bland and boring. This was already sad on its own, but now those same people are praising a character who’s completely different from her for being “so much better” or “finally giving her a personality”. It sucks. Games Peach deserves better than that.
With those things in mind I don’t think I need to explain why the fact this characterization is possibly bleeding out into the games is something I dread. Now I can live with a cover art change, but if they change her actual character I’m going to scream. Especially if they only do it to Peach and no other character. And yes I know some people also pointed out a possible direction change for her voice but 1. for some reason I don’t really care, possibly because she’s been through quite a lot of voice-actors already 2. we only clearly hear her voice in the Showtime trailer during the Kung-Fu part so maybe her voice will differ depending on the costume, it is a stageplay after all, and 3. the Wonder short with Bowser has her let out four noises, one of which has a different tone while the other three keep her usual high octave, so I’m not sure if they truly intend on changing her voice. Haven’t played Wonder yet tho so I can’t speak to all her other voicelines.
Hopefully this will be my last post about this outside of answering asks and reblogs as I’m always open to discussions/debates. I don’t like bringing negativity and especially not drama to my blog but, considering the extensive rant I made about this, it only feels right to make sure people don’t misinterpret where my issues come from, since I can absolutely understand people seeing my posts and concluding that I hate Movie Peach for who she is rather than what she represents.
Now, instead of being negative about Movie Peach I’d rather focus on being positive about Games Peach, mostly through the fics I’m working on.
Tl;Dr: Movie Peach would be genuinely great as an original character but alas she was put inside the skin of someone with a completely different personality from hers. And it's very hard to look past this given the consequences of Movie Peach's existence on how people percieve Peach as a whole now on top of a possible change in her games character.
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thessalian · 1 month
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Thess vs Approval Guides
One of the things I'm not all that thrilled about in terms of video gaming is the vocal minority (the very vocal minority) that seems to believe that anything but the hardest modes and no help whatsoever is "cheating" and somehow makes one "not a REAL gamer". I mean ... I'm old. I remember video gaming's infancy. I remember when all most people had in terms of playing video games was the big arcade cabinet jobs, and you couldn't really get a guide for those. The whole point of them was to get people dumping more and more quarters in as you beat your head against increasingly harder levels and--
Basically, we were all playing Souls-likes back then.
Anyway, when consoles came along and games evolved past "increase enemy frequency, speed, strength, and / or HP; repeat until unsustainable", we started getting guides. And they were nice, too - they gave hints and tips and bits of lore, and while it was a bit of a pain flipping through a physical book, at least most of the games at the time actually had a fucking pause function, so you had the time. Sure, it was another way to get a bit more money out of players. At least we were getting something for our money. So guides were entirely acceptable at the time.
These days, companies have found way better ways to squeeze more money out of its customer base (ways that don't cost nearly as much in design, printing, distribution, even materials to create the things), and the creation of video game walkthroughs have been taken over by hobbyists who give that shit out for free on the internet. So we don't really get player guides anymore. Somehow, that translated into a bunch of people who measure their self-worth by their ability to play a video game saying that anything less than just bashing away at it until you win is "cheating", like it's somehow better to go back to the days of the arcade when everything was designed to beat quarters out of you until you "did it right". I hate how easy it is to internalise that shit.
Thing is, though ... a lot of games really aren't about just "winning". Not that I have issues with using walkthroughs that way - hell, I do - but we're also talking about games with well-developed companion NPCs that one wants to make friends with, or at least not offend too much so that they'll stay around. And while I kind of noticed this with the Dragon Age games, Baldur's Gate 3 is really flagging up to me how interesting a challenge it is to play through using a companion approval guide.
Look, it makes sense, anyway. You as a character know these people. You're pretty sure what you're going to come across maybe 75% of the time. You know how you're going to react when it happens. And you know how the people you've been sharing a camp with for awhile, and whose fucking brains you occasionally tap into, are going to react to your usual proclivities. Thus, if you're going to do something criminal and/or violent, you probably want to take the pragmatists with you and leave the nice ones at home. And if you're going to be an altruist? The pragmatists aren't going to like it, so you take the nice ones, and leave the pragmatists at home. It's that simple.
But the thing is, because of how BG3 is structured compared to ... well, particularly the two later Dragon Age games, I hadn't really noticed before how interesting that makes things from a tactical standpoint. You have to start getting used to what all of the characters can do. (Especially when it comes to picking a subclass - are you going to stick with the default they give you, or will you pick something that's better for you tactically, or what fits the character better? I tend to go for the latter, honestly - which is why Astarion winds up with the Assassin subclass, Lae'zel is continuously a Battle Master, and ... wel, okay, Gale gets the default of Evocation, at least in part because he has a very clear understanding of the dangers of exploding near people whose lives he values.) Anyway, the party balance you choose changes the tactical approach, and so it's just a different way of approaching a challenge. Particularly if you tend to run a specific party of good-aligned individuals but then want to take the pragmatic, neutral-aligned-at-best out for a run to kill someone they'd particularly enjoy killing. Like, I tend to favour Karlach over Lae'zel for a straight-up martial melee fighter, but if you're going to a githyanki creche, you kind of have to take along the bloody githyanki, or it's going to get problematic. So ... you know. Whole change in approach, and so while maybe "cheating" in terms of tilting the scales of characters' approval ratings, still adds a certain degree of challenge to the game and means you seldom get comfortable just going along with the same party all the time.
Also... Dear Larian: THANK YOU for not having us lose approval with characters when we turn down their sexual advances. It's nice to think that the response is less, "How dare you?!?" and more "Ah, well; would've been nice but it's not like friendship's really a lesser boon..."
This message brought to you by my having developed enough approval with Astarion for him to try to "thank me" for sharing his blood by shagging me. Which ... I have a couple of characters who really would go for him kicking around in the back of my brain, but this is Alisaie. Dark-haired, occasionally adorkable but mostly stoic religious types are her jam.
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Tears of the Kingdom is fucking beautiful
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MILD SPOILERS
Okay so I have just completed the Great Sky Island (but am definitely gonna go back as some places I couldn’t get to and I need to stock up on stuff plus the nice constructs like the cooking ones etc are so freakin cute) but man this is so epic I mean I love Breath of the Wild even though I was late getting it, I’m not a gamer but Zelda and Animal Crossing are my jam and what I love about BOTW and TOTK is its you own adventure like sometimes I literally just ride my horse around looking at pretty ruins. TOTK is as phenomenal and beautiful as BOTW with that extra element of fun which makes different from BOTW because of all these new tricks and such but BOTW is magical and epic and charming and TOTK is too and I love all the new things like brightbloom flowers and a weird frog in a cave THERES SO MUCH and by FUCK the moment I dived from the great sky island down to Hyrule CHILLS MAN. I just love the imagination, the lore, the humour, the adventure, the beauty (and the fact that someone said Zelda is like lotr and I think thats why I love it so much) I’m just immersed I got zero sleep last night playing it xD But am really glad I figured everything out by myself. BOTW I had watched a lot of people play so I kinda had a plan going in like I wanted to unlock all the map, get all the armour etc to be able to freely travel and I loved that (and I used guides only for labyrinths and asshole shrines I couldn’t get past lol) but TOTK I wanna try and do it with no help. I haven’t even finished my last divine beast in BOTW xD I just love these games so much and I feel so excited and hyped playing TOTK im sobbing ON THE FLOOR its everything 
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if Marc plays video games, would he play assassins creed? If so, how much do you wanna bet he has to stop playing assassins creed after trying to play origins because Steven would be geeking out over all the history involved in the game whilst also pointing out all the inaccuracies?
Alright. So the thing about Marc and video games is....MARC IS STILL USING A FLIP PHONE.
Okay, let's do this. Because I have head cannons and you will now hear them. Keep in mind, we are dealing with three men that have hyper focus problems.
Marc uses a flip phone most likely because of being a mercenary. Old habits and all. Burner phones, changing out sim cards, travelling countries and having to unlock phones... It's a pain. Now, we know Marc is, or was at least, a fan of things like star trek and star wars and NASA. He probably thinks futuristic things are way cool and all, but he also hasn't exactly had the time or opportunity to stay up to date in all the latest tech.
So when it comes to computers, Marc probably just finger pecks at it and hopes Google gets him what he needs.
That being said, I also bet Marc LOVED old school arcade games. Pinball, probably a champ. Space invaders? No one could kill those aliens like him. Pacman? He has the top ten high scores under "MrkSptr".
Give him a coke and a roll of quarters, come back in ten hours and he'll be standing at the same machine with a crowd, zeroed in and eyes bloodshot as he destroys every rail shooter game in the arcade.
That being said, if you give him a modern video game, he's the kinda player that some how manages to glitch out the game after just five minutes with the controller. I don't think he has the patience for longer games. He needs a quick fix and long story driven games, even if they are pretty to watch and have so many more mechanics, they just don't cut it for him.
STEVEN on the other hand.... He would be insufferable to watch play a game like assassin's creed. He'd geek out at first then slowly get more and more upset at all the inaccuracies. What does that wall of hieroglyphics say? It just says some random words about 'this is ancient text'. The pyramid is facing the wrong way. That one NPC keeps walking around and is wearing the wrong color robe and it's driving him crazy. He wouldn't even play the plot. He'd just wander around trying to look at everything and be upset at the world barriers. "Open sand box? Not that open! I can't even cross over into lower Egypt!"
He would absolutely KILL it at puzzle games. "Myst" is a joke to him. He beat that in a day. Escape the room games? Was the room even locked? He's out in ten minutes. Solve the puzzle box? He's flying through those so fast you aren't sure if the game is glitched or he's seeing the code.
He would be dangerous with these games though. Layla would find him after three days sitting in the dark staring at a screen trying to solve the next puzzle game. They'd have to take them away from him.
JAKE. Oh no. Oh no no no. Jake is a rage player. You aren't sure if Jake is having fun or not. He's been yelling at the screen for twenty minutes and it's only getting worse. He won't stop playing though. If he rage quits, the game wins.
He isn't going to beat the game because he's good at it. He beats the game out of sheer force of will. Somehow he finished Resident Evil with just his hand gun and no upgrades. He's been pecking away at the main boss' final form for over two hours and my god he's going to do this. Steven's read the hand book gamer's guide and is having a panic attack because Jake refuses to go unlock the special super weapon if he'd just complete one side quest, but Jake isn't here for that. He has a mission and he will do it start to finish as the gamer gods dictated.
He cannot play games like Zelda. All the side quests just enrage him. He eventually reaches a point where he will scream "FINE. YOU WANT ALL THE MISSING BUGS?! LET'S DO THIS" and next thing you know he's 100% completed the game. He somehow even managed to collect the one bug that was glitched out and no one else has ever been able to find.
He will finish the game, set down the controller, and never touch that game again. He defeated it. There is no reason to even consider replaying it. Did he have fun? Yeah, it was a neat game to play. But you'd never know it from how utterly enraged he gets just thinking about how he had to dodge all 100 lightning bolts in a row to unlock the one special weapon.
Now racing games? Those are a different story. He's scary good at the realistic ones. If you took him to an arcade and put him in one of those sitting down ones with the pedals, he'd destroy it with a perfect score.
Give him a nonsense game like Mario Cart where he has to fight other people and he may not win, but you will be sorry that you did. Vindictive and vengeful, he will collect every damn red, blue, and green turtle shell and make it his life mission to see you get blasted by every single one of them.
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