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#garlic bread is fucking tasty
eudico-my-beloved · 1 year
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im hungry...
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tired-bee · 1 year
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Mother, I crave
Garlic bread.
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rottenpumpkin13 · 4 months
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inspired by that post you reblogged: the firsts + Turks + Rufus + Lazrd + Vincent Valentine (sorry for so many ahah) have an hour to make a good meal for guests, how do each of them do?
Sephiroth: Grilling ungodly amounts of meat it is. He can also make some salad. Other than that, don't expect him to cook anything elaborate lol.
Angeal: He pulls out all the stops. Pasta, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes with garlic, fried chicken, and even whips up some rice pudding for desert. Not to mention that if a guest shows up and the food still isn't finished, he will definitely pull them into the kitchen and get them to help.
Genesis: He orders from a restaurant and throws all his pots and pans in the sink to make it look like he cooked it. He also expects praise.
Rufus: "I have people who cook for my for this exact reason."
Reno: He thinks a pack of cigarettes, alcohol and some takeout is a meal.
Rude: (Fuck it latino Rude) He keeps it simple but tasty. He focuses on quantity and quality, so rice, beans, salad, some chorizo, a heapload of chopped fruit, and sauteed vegetables.
Tseng: He shocks his guests with a full three course meal + dessert. Did he cook it himself? Yes. Does anyone know how? No. Are they scared? Also yes.
Elena: She spends the entirety of the hour looking up easy recipe ideas online. When her guests arrive, she just shrugs, grabs her keys and suggests they go out for dinner.
Vincent: He's sensible. He cooks a simple pasta dish, garlic bread, a salad and pairs it with some pricey wine.
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takkarulz · 1 year
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The Upper Moons order pizza for dinner head cannons!
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Muzan
-He just ordered it because his wife and his kid wanted it.
-He orders a bit of everything the restaurant offers since he can pay it. Even the overpriced drinks and desserts.
-As soon as the pizza delivery man arrives he transform him into a demon, just for the fun of it.
-"What happen with the pizza guy daddy?" Ask his daughter confused after seeing the delivery guy trying to eat their neighbors. "Oh, don't worry, he must be just a bit confused, that's all. Anyway, who wants pizza?"
-A few moments after that dinner the Demon Slayer Corps arrive and kill the pizza delivery demon.
Daki and Gyutaro
-They actually did not order any pizza at all, they just stole it from a Daki co worker that already paid for it. Daki pretends to be her and gives a little tip to the delivery guy to apear a nice girl.
-Daki is actually disappointed when she discover that the her coworker had ordered pizza with pineapple on it and cries about it (she hates pineapple pizza).
-Gyutaro calms her down and says that he is gonna eat all the pineapples of her pizza and give her all the ham that his pizza has (he loves pineapple pizza a little too much).
-They fight for the last slice; until Gyutaro decides to just give it to Daki (he does not like to see her angry).
-After a while the woman who actually ordered the pizza try to ask Daki what the hell happen with her pizza. Daki just kills her and eats her.
-If anyone asks for that woman Daki will claim that she ran away with the pizza delivery guy.
Gyokko
-He orders it just because he found a discount coupon on one of his victims pockets and wants to try a new experience.
-He asks for all the ingredients posible to be included on the pizza.
-The pizza delivery guy faints after seeing Gyokko's twisted face getting out of a vase.
-Gyokko, does not care about it; he just eats the delivery guy and uses the pizza for a new artistic project.
Hantengu
-He is shaking and crying of fear while ordering the pizza at the phone.
-He does not know what kind of pizza to order and every suggestion of the menu just confuses him more.
-After one hour he chooses the first option they suggested him (pepperoni pizza).
-He does not want to get out of his house when the delivery guy arrives with the pizza. He is too afraid to get out.
-The pizza delivery guy thinks it was a prank and goes away, leaving Hantegu without pizza.
-Hantegu uses his clones to chase him down and letting him eat the pizza.
-The clones kill the delivery guy and get the pizza for Hantengu but then they all star fighting between themselves for it.
-Hantengu cries in the corner unable to eat his pizza.
Akaza
-He orders something big, full of meat and veggies.
-Also he asks for hot sauce and many complements, like chips and garlic bread.
-He won't eat the delivery person if is a woman. Instead he will tip her the 50% and thank her for her services.
-Even if the pizza delivery guy is male, Akaza will probably not eat him because it will be a boring way to eat someone.
-Since demons don't actually need to eat anything aside of humans, he would give the pizza to a women's shelter or an orphanage.
-However he would probably eat the garlic bread with hot sauce because it is way too tasty.
Doma
-He orders like 20 boxes of pizza, each one of a different flavor.
-When the pizza delivery man arrives, Doma just smiles and compliments them for arriving fast.
-Tries to make them join his sect (but he is rejected).
- Anyway, he eats the pizza delivery man before he gets any chance to go away.
-Doma gives the pizza away to his cult followers claiming that it is a miracle that he made.
-The cult praises him, while Doma laughs inside thinking that now his followers will get more fat and tasty to eat.
-Probably he would just grab a slice of one pizza to see if it is tasty.
-And it is, cuz it is pizza Margherita and that is the best pizza in the fucking world!
Kokushibo
-Kokushibo picks the pizza backwards making himself 100% that the pizza man wasn't able to see his six eyes.
-Kokushibo just eats the pizza in the dark meditating about the past.
-For some odd reason he ordered the vegan pizza option and lots of garlic bread.
-Does not tip the pizza delivery guy.
-Strangely enough, the pizza delivery guy gets away unharmed.
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vidaamour · 11 months
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Vegan/Vegetarian shopping list:
Pre Made salad bags (it’s a lot cheaper to just buy bagged salad and add to it, then buying a bunch of ingredients that will go bad if not used)
Make a list of fruits and vegetables that you like and get them (some times if you get the funky shaped ones you get a few cents off, even if you don’t that stops the funky shaped produce from being tossed)
Nut butters (most almond and peanut butters are vegan, jelly and Jams aren’t because they’re made with gelatin)
Bread, check the ingredients because a lot of breads are accidentally vegan/vegetarian ( Vegetarian/Vegan (link) Sandwiches will be your best friend)
Pasta (like bread a lot of pasta is accidentally vegan, CHECK THE INGREDIENTS)
Rice and beans are some of the cheapest things to buy, buy them dry and you can have them for a while in your pantry
Google vegan ramen, (if you’re like me and love spicy ramen then you’ll be happy to know Samyang 2x spicy hot chicken flavor Ramen in the red pack is VEGAN they use artificial chicken flavor rather then animal products. Vegan Kimchi regular and spicy is a lot easier to find then you may think just look for ones without fish sauce and shrimp)
Tofu (tofu is very versatile and it’s great source of vegan/vegetarian protein made from soy, it takes flavor beautifully and it’s relatively cheap firm/extra firm is best)
Cheese (there are so many vegan cheese options, for grated parmigiana follow your heart has both grated and shredded, Violife has a block. Violife has the best shredded substitutes, and singles. Daiya is a little weird in my opinion however they’re cheddar dairy free Mac and cheese is amazing (you just gotta use different pasta then it comes with)
Meat substitutes ( We’ve come a long way with decent vegan meat substitutes, beyond meat makes a whole variety of plant based meat substitutes that are very tasty especially if you’re still craving that meaty texture. Impossible meat substitutes also has amazing plant based meat substitutes, Impossible also has vegan chicken nuggets that tastes like McDonald’s and even have dino shaped ones. Light life has everything from vegan sausage crumbles to Bacon, the vegan bacon and hot dogs are amazing)
Eggs (just egg and simply egg are planted based substitutes for eggs, they’re liquid like an egg beater but can be used in place of eggs from a scramble to a baking ingredient)
Dairy (Vegan milk/coffee creamer you got options coconut, almond, soy, oat, pea protein. Pick what you like best. Personally California farms Oat milk in original and California farms oat vanilla creamer are my favorites. I’ll throw cream cheese and Yogurt in here as well Kite Hill regular and Strawberry cream cheese are my favorite, Kite Hill blue berry, and Strawberry vegan yogurt are my favorite. MIYOKO’S vegan butter)
Snacks (Lenny and Larry’s plant based chocolate chip cookies, Spudsy sweet potato puffs they have a million different flavors I like the hot fries. Vegan rob’s dragon puffs these are the vegan equivalent to hot Cheeto puffs but without the red dye 40. Vegan rob’s also has cheese puffs)
Sauces (Anne’s goddess dressing is very tangy, Diaya blue cheese and Caesar dressings are amazing, can be thick though, they also have ranch but I got a vegan homemade ranch recipe. Hot sauce, Franks, Cholula, Tabasco, and Tapatío are vegan. Ketchup& mustard are vegan. Hellmans and follow your heart have vegan mayonnaise,Sir Kingston’s and Follow your heart also have chipotle Mayo. Follow your heart also has vegan sour cream)
Seasonings (seasons you should have in your cabinet click here, the dollar tree sells all these for a dollar and most grocery stores sell adobo)
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punkitt-is-here · 10 months
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cake anon made me want to ask you another lighthearted and fun question. i will now proceed to interrogate you. what are your favorite foods? do you enjoy cooking/baking? and if you do what are some of your favorite things to make?
culinary arts are something I'm pretty passionate about amd I'm planning on being a pastry chef so that's always my go-to for any sort of get-to-know-you questions
I like baking bread :3 I think it's pretty relaxing, and basically any sort of home-made bread is heaven compared to what you can get in-store
GOD i wanna bake bread so bad im just. scayred.
but i love cooking and baking! my issue is that it used to be really hard to experiment and try new things because 1. the adhd makes it hard to try new stuff and devote a lot of time to something youre not guaranteed to enjoy and 2. i was not very financially secure before so fucking up a recipe meant wasting money. thanks to horsecomix i actually am a little more secure (im FAR from rich but now i can buy myself little treats and afford better groceries) so im trying to get more into culinary stuff. :)
my two favorite meals (cheap, easy, tasty!!!) are egg sandwiches made with salt, garlic, butter, toasted everything bagels, avocado, ham, turkey, and tomato (my go-to meal when i want something tasty and simple) and a real simple rice and chicken dish (rice with soy sauce, chicken fajitas, avocado, diced tomato). they both taste soooo good and require so little time and effort in the grand scheme.
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that-stone-butch · 2 years
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Hie I'm coming over for soup please
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half a vidalia onion
garlic clove(s)
2 roma tomatoes
2 big carrots
1 cup corn
2-3 large potatoes
2-3 bell peppers
1 cup quinoa
1 gallon broth of choice (i prefer vegetable)
butter/oil for skillet use
paprika
salt
ground pepper
lime juice
cilantro (optional)
cayenne pepper
2 jalapeno/habanero peppers (optional)
okay you take about, half a vidalia onion and dice it fairly large (about 1/2" by 1/2" squares i guess) mince as much garlic cloves as you want (about a whole bulb i suppose for a whole stockpot of soup), a couple of sliced jalapenos/habaneros if you want it to be spicy, and throw those on the bottom of the stockpot with a liberal application of salt, ground pepper, and paprika, as well as a cooking implement of choice (butter, oil if vegan, etc.)
carmelize the onions and activate the Flavor Protocol of the garlic and hot peppers until it's good and toasty at the bottom of the pan. while this is happening dice 2-3 Big Potatoes, and chop about two large carrots; and grab the preferred amount of the broth of your choice (i usually use about a gallon of veggie broth). when the onions are done, throw the broth, carrots and potatoes into the stockpot. bring to boil, reduce to simmer.
potatoes and carrots take a bit to Un-Brickify into a tasty consistency, so while this is happening dice a couple of bell peppers, roma tomatoes, and grab about a cup of corn. throw these into a skillet with a little butter (oil if vegan, etc.) and some seasoning of choice, i use cayenne pepper, lime juice, and some additional salt and pepper if desired. you want to reduce those veggies in the cooking juices so they soften a little, and soak up the flavor. i usually push it until the corn is slightly charred, smells fucking amazing.
throw the veggies and concentrated flavor matter into your stockpot. let it all settle in, and add quinoa according to the amount of vegetables (quinoa expands quite a bit, i usually put in about a cup) already in there. give the quinoa adequate time to cook in the broth. the soup should be a ratio of broth to veggies that you prefer, otherwise add more broth and seasoning. i prefer mine fairly full of veggies tbh. season to taste; you should be well covered by the amount of seasoning thrown in during the veggie-cooking process but otherwise feel free to add as much extra garlic or whatever you'd like in there. hell, add sriracha if that floats your boat. soup should taste good!
the result is a fuckload of veggie and quinoa soup that is filling, and good for dipping bread into on a chilly day. enjoy!
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Hello! So, on one of your posts a while back, you talked a bunch about Welsh breakfast foods, and I was super intrigued by the description of Glamorgan sausage, and ended up making some with my mother on a time I visisted just recently. We had to use a cheese that wasn't Glamorgan, because my mother is lactose intolerant, but nonetheless it was probably the best tasting food I have ever consumed in my life. Do you have any other recommendations for vegetarian Welsh food that's makeable by people not in Wales?
I also just wanted to send this ask because if it means one more person hears about Glamorgan sausage and tries it, there's more good in this world
I am DELIGHTED you enjoyed! I fucking love a good Glamorgan sausage. Well done on making them lacto-friendly, too.
Of course, you're giving me an impossible challenge here, because really what you need is Welsh recipes with neither meat nor dairy, and Wales loves cheese in a deep and fervent and cultural way which I talked about a bit here. Welsh food staples are cheese, bacon, lamb and fish. But, given that you successfully managed to create a dairy free Glamorgan sausage, something I wouldn't have thought possible given that it is, in fact, a cheese sausage, then I'm going to give you some veggie ones and have faith in your lactose intolerant kitchen wizardry to make the necessary changes.
Right! Okay, let's see
Miser's Feast
From Carmarthenshire. Traditionally you'd put bacon in but it's real good even without. You will need:
About 2 tbsp butter
2-3 cloves of garlic
2 thinly sliced onions, slice em up real good
About 2lbs potatoes. Slice them thinly, like coins
A pint of vegetable stock
Ground black pepper
Parsley
Get a big casserole dish, like a Le Creuset type situation. Fry off the onions in the butter, mince the garlic and do the same. Add the potatoes and the stock and the black pepper, bring it to the boil, cover it, and shove it in an oven on about 190*C for 30-40 minutes. And then (important bit) you take the lid off, turn the oven up to 220, and leave for another 15-20 minutes. This makes the top go crispy and delicious and it's SO GOOd. Season with parsley, eat it all.
For a similar-but-different alternative, there's onion cake.
Cheese Pudding
You know, like, bread and butter pudding? Imagine that but SAVOURY and SMOOTHER (whoa, so amazing...)
8oz grated cheddar
4oz breadcrumbs
1 pint milk
3 tbsp butter
3 eggs, beat the shit out of them
1 tsp mustard, I favour Dijon (and often do 2 tsp)
Salt and black pepper
A souffle-type dish is best but like. Anything bowl-like that can go in the oven is basically the aim. Grease it up. Anyway, mix three quarters of the cheese up with the breadcrumbs and then ignore it while you do the rest. Put the remaining ingrediences into a pan. Heat and stir until the butter has just melted but NO LONGER because if it gets too hot, the eggs will begin to set. Stir into your cheese&breadcrumbs. Put in the souffle dish, scatter the remaining cheese over the top and bake for 30 minutes at 200 or until you stab it with a knife and the knife comes out clean.
It goes really nice with salad or green vegetables, like broccoli (u go u little tasty trees)
Welsh Rarebit
My recipes are here for rarebit
If you have anything like a bakestone, get back in touch and I'll give you my Welshcake recipe too.
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ladykissingfish · 1 year
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What would be funny as a sequel to the tomato smoothie thing would be the akatsuki trying to set up a nice peaceful dinner for konan and Nagato but they just make it chaotic and catastrophic because they just can't behave
*Nagato and Konan walk into the dining room and pause in surprise; the table is set for two and there’s a fancy tablecloth and candles*
Konan: What is this?
Hidan: *pulling out her chair for her* We were thinking, you cook for us every fuckin’ night. But we don’t do shit for you. So me, red-eyes, mask-boy and blondie made dinner for you and bony-arms!
Nagato: While I don’t appreciate that name, I do appreciate this gesture. *sits across from Konan*
Konan: Oh, this is so lovely. And you made chicken Alfredo, my favorite!
Konan: *swirls fettuccine noodles on her fork and takes a bite; face turns red and she starts coughing*
Nagato: *jumps up and frantically claps her on the back* What’s in this?!
Deidara: Chili powder, cayenne pepper, paprika, Cajun seasoning …
Nagato: In an Alfredo sauce??
Hidan: Blonde-bitch wanted it to be spicy. Even though we ALL told him it was a fuckin’  stupid idea …
Deidara: Fuck you, you demonic asshole. Just because YOU can’t make anything but bland garbage doesn’t mean that —
Konan, after guzzling water: I’m sure you meant well. Er, there’s something about the sauce I can’t quite figure out. 
Hidan: Ohhh, that. Well ideally you’re supposed to use heavy cream and shit, right? But we were out of that so -
Itachi: I improvised and used a mix of plain yogurt and milk instead. The milk was a teeny bit expired but only by five or so days.
Konan: I —
Tobi: Tobi made garlic bread, Konan and Leader!
Tobi: *brings out a loaf of white bread with a big clump of garlic cloves stuck in the middle*
Nagato: It’s … it’s lovely …
Deidara: Save room for dessert, hm! *brings out a 3-layer chocolate cake and sets it in middle of table* We worked extra hard on this!
Konan, surprised: Goodness, that looks absolutely amazing! It looks like it was made in a professional bakery! I can’t wait to —
Deidara: *raises two fingers* KATSU!!
*the cake explodes, covering everyone in a shower of chocolate*
Hidan: You stupid dick! We agreed no fucking explosives!!
Deidara: That cake wasn’t artistic without them!! Especially since Uchiha’s blind ass couldn’t read the recipe and put in 20 cups of sugar instead of 2! 
Tobi: But the sugar made it tasty, Senpai! *switches to Obito voice* And I’ve already warned you not to talk about Itachi like that …
Hidan: What the hell are you gonna do, weirdo? Shove a dango stick in his eye?
*the four of them start yelling and throwing punches at each other*
Nagato:
Konan:
Konan: … pizza?
Nagato: Mm.
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panzershrike-pretz · 2 months
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Hello mon amie!! I was interested, what’s some things you love about your country and culture?!
HEY LOUUUUUU!!! SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE 2 MONTHS TO REMEMBER THIS!!! TIME TO YELL ABOUT BRAZIL!!
This will be long so have a read more
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- Food
A thing I notice whenever a gringo comes here id how they seem to love our food! We're very set on a good meal (normally rice, beans, meat and some sort of salad, It's a very common thing to find on the table of any brazilian at lunch or dinner), but we also have some more region specific foods! And we are damn PROUD of our stuff!
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I LOVE FOOD! AND ABOVE ALL, THESE ONES! In order, they are: coxinha, pastel, pamonha, brigadeiro, pão de queijo, beijinho, feijoada, farofa e churrasco! Lemme talk a bit about them:
- Coxinha -> it's made out of shredded chicken amd enveloped into a dough, then fried and I SWEAR this is the best thing ever! When I was small, my aunt owned a food place and after I helped her around, she'd pay me with coxinhas xD it was lovely
- Pastel -> similarly to the coxinha, it's a tasty interior made out of whatever you want (can be cheese, any meat, veggies, fish or even chocolate and fruits!) and a crust. It's crunchy and I love it! You can buy the crust pretty much in any market (or make it at home) and then fill it up with whatever you want! After that, it's just fry and enjoy!
- Pamonha -> it's a boiled paste made out of corn and apparently coconut milk! It's enveloped on the corn's own husk and it can be sweet or not! One day, my auntas came together to make a GIANT batch of pamonha and I swear it was one of the cooles experiences ever! Pamonha is also a thing we use to call dumb people, tho xD
- Brigadeiro -> AUDHBRJWJW I LOVE IT!!! It's prettymuch homemade (you'll need butter, condensed milk and cocoa powder, then sprinkled chocolate to cover it up if you want!). It's sweet and good and normally can be seen in any birthday party (it's victim of the biggest trafficking scheme in the world called Hungry Children, and it's highly effective until an adult gets you sneaking brigadeiro from the food table at the party. I was a big trafficker).
- Pão de Queijo -> THE beloced cheese bread! I have no clue how it'sz made but I know it's fucking amazing, i'll tell you that!!
- Beijinho -> the name translates to little kiss!! It's like the brigadeiro, also a birthday party sweet, made out of condenses milk, grated coconut and rolled over either sugar or coconut! It's less sweet than brigadeiro but just as good! Sometimes, it's topped off with a clove, too, but you don't need to eat that xD
- Feijoada -> a stew of beans with beef and/or pork (sometimes veggies as well), served with farofa (more on this one down bellow), rice and other stuff.
- Farofa -> tasty sand. Litterally. It's made from toasted cassava. It can be found in any narket but also can be made at home! (My mom makes the best one with bacon 😭). It's not meant to be eaten alone as it's salty and fucking hard to swallow without something kind of moist!! It can be used alongside the feijoada, churrasco or even on your normal sunday family lunch siting common beans and rice!
- Churrasco -> I don't care if other countries have barbecue as well, nothing will ever top off south-brazilian bbq!! It's meat and garlic bread and it's ducking amazing????? Any kind of beef, sausages (either pig or chicken), chicken wings, chicken hearts, sometimes veggies, garlic bread! All of tgis. Together. IT'S THE BEST THING!!! My family has these almost every weekend and I love it so much! Now add lemonade?????? THE MEAT IS SO WELL SEASONED AS WELL LIKE!! GARLIC, ONION, A LOT OF STUFF THAT GIVES IT SUCH A GOOD TASTE AND IT NEVER IS DRY!!
This was me going crazy over my favorite foods :3 obviously there are others like acarajé, açaí and a lot of other stuff from the upper states, but I never had them so I can't give an opinion xD
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- Language
I'm entireky convinced that the brazilian portuguese is the best portuguese and funniest fucking language I ever saw. Maybe because is the only other one I speak but who knows KAKSKSKSK
I like our words. Compared to english and some other languages, I feel like portuguese is more soft spoken? I may be crazy but like... i get the vibe of that.
Our sayings are lovely and funny, especially when you're watching foreign movies with the brazilian dub (God bless Surf's Up). Here are some pf my favorite sayings and sounds and whatever!
- "Bah" -> common here on the south, can be used for pretty much anything, even as punctuation. It can mean whatever your heart desires depending on context (Bah...; bah.; bah???; BAH!; bah, [...]; I promise all of these mean different things and there's more that can only be use when soeaking irl xD). I use the bah all the time and I'm sure you saw it KSKSSKKS
- "Hit it waith a dead cat 'till it meows" -> I dare you to find a better way to say you're gonna shove some sense into a person. There isn't. This is my fave saying
- "Pila" -> our currency is called real (good ol' R$). But fuck me if you'll see a brazilian saying "i've got 10 reais". You'll see us saying "I've got 10 pila" (or "10 pau", can be that too. Pau can mean either wood or dick tho so use at your own risk. I laugh everytime I see the word pau :D)
- "Shove a set of teeth up your ass and smile to a dick" -> I think nothing needs to be said here, right?
- "To make the asshole fall from your ass" -> when something is unbelievable, I think. I love it :3 (de cair o cu da bunda, in portuguese)
- "É foda..." -> don't know how to answer anything? É foda... "Fulano, my friend got into a car accident!", "...é foda...".
AND WHILE ON LANGUAGE! Accents!!! I love accents and I think my favorite is the accent from Nordeste (or at least Ceará), tho I absolutely love our South accent (especially Rio Grande do Sul).
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- Fauna
Surprise surprise! I like animals!! I bet ya didn't know 'bout that one, did you?????? I don't think so!
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In order: southern-lapwing (quero-quero), toucan (tucano), harpy eagle (harpia), sunbittern (pavãozinho-do-pará), potoo (urutau), brazilian tanager (tiê-sangue), oven-bird (João-de-barro), caracara (carcará), jabiru (tuiuiú).
DID YOU KNOW, the Harpy eagle is the largest species of eagle? Their talons can go from 8.6 to 12.3 cm (3.4 to 4.8 inches). They grab sloths out of trees like they weight nothing. Their paws are the hugest fucking thing???????? Fucking scary
Yes the lapwing has claws on its wings. Yes they are extremely agressive and territorial. Yes you SHOULD fear them.
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In order: golden lion tamarin (mico-leão-dourado), tapir (anta), giant-anteater (tamanduá-bandeira), maned wolf (lobo-guará), bush-dog (cachorro-do-mato), ring-tailed coati (coati), jaguar (onça-pintada), marsh deer (cervo-do-pantanal), giant river otter (ariranha)
OK I NEED TO TALK A BIT ABOUT THEM!! You gave me the chance >:3
So you know the jaguar??? Good ol' big fucking cat? Yeah that bitch hunts crocodiles. They fucking love swimming and climbing. And do you know how those bitches kill crocs??? Giant fucking bite on their brains. Those FUCKERS kill CROCODILES with a bite ON THEIR HEADS
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LOOK AT THIS???? ONE BITE. ONE. FUCKING. BITE. AND THE CROC IS DEAD.
Anyway wanna know about the ariranhas too? THEY SQUARE UP TO THE JAGUAR. THE SAME THING THAT KILLS ON A HEAD BITE. AND THEY'RE AGGRESSIVE TOO????? THEY CAN AND WILL ATTACK CROCODILES AND HUMANS IF NEEDED. THEY EAT PIRANHAS. THEY ARE SCARY.
Look at that face and tell me it doesn't look like a demon, I dare you.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SQUARES UP TO THE JAGUAR????? THAT ANTEATER. THEY OPEN THEIR ARMS LIKE RHE REDEMER AND PEI. FUCKING SLAPPED WITH GIANT CLAWS. Brazilian animals are a menace, lucky they live far from me <3 (i love them sooo muchhhhahrjqishsj)
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- The Views
Especially nature, man... this country us so unbelievably pretty. The beaches, the forests, the cities, everything... i love it so damn much. And it's not only Rio de Janeiro. In fact, there are much better, prettier and safer places.
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In order: Blumenau (SC), Praia do Rosa (SC), Salvador (BH), Fortaleza (CE), Monte Roraima (RR), Floresta Amazônica, Gramado (RS), Tiradentes (MG), Caatinga
Look at all of this... omg those places are fucking amazing!!
Did you know the caatinga exists only in Brazil? Yep! We're original xD
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- Folklore
NOW I LOVE THIS!! SO MUCH!!!!!! FUCK!! WE HAVE SO MANY LEGENDS AND FOLKLORIC CREATURES! I'll talk a bit about them!
- Cuca -> A witch with the head of a crocodile known gor kidnapping kids! Shess became famous thanks to Monteiro Lobato, in a book (and went on to be the villain in a kid's show called Sítio do Pica-pau Amarelo. She's sometimes compared to the bicho-papão (same vibe of kidnapping and eating misbehaving kids).
- Boto-cor-de-rosa -> I already talked about this one but it's always fun to bring him up again! Legends says that at night, an extremely seductive man comes out of the waters to sleep with young girls. By the morning he flees,leaving them pregnant. Yeah, he's an amazonian river dolphin. It's a story told when girls appeared pregnant and din't want to tell the truth.
- rasga-mortalha -> rasga-mortalha (a.k.a. barn-owl) is a pretty common legend that says that when the owl flies over someone's house, someone there will soon die. She got the name rasga-mortalha because when she emits her sound, it's like when you rip that thing used to cover dead people on funerals (mortalha).
- Mula-sem-cabeça -> the headless mule is a popular one as well! It's a common mule but, in place of it's head, it has flames. One of the legends behind her is that if a woman had sexual relations with a priest, she'd be cursed and turned into the monster. When I was a kid, a common game was to race and say that the last one would be the priest's wife, meaning you'd turn into a headless mule.
- Boitatá -> a giant serpent of fire who protects the forest and it's animals against people that treat them badly. Some legends say that whoever looks at a boitatá turns blind and goes insane.
- Curupira -> a small boy with fiery red hair and feet turned backwards! They are protectors of the forests and some native people said they went after anyone who went inside a forest to hunt or deforest. Some even used to left gifts for the curupira in order to freely hunt!
- Caipora -> sometimes confused with thes corupira, the caipora is a mischievous animal protector who'd go after hunters who didn't respect the rules of hunting fairly (who took more than needed).
- Saci -> a black and mischievous boy with only one leg, that smokes a pipe and weaars a red hat that gives him magical powers. He's a playful boy that does pranks on people and their animals, like: braiding animal's fur at night, hide objects, change the salt and sugar pots, distract women so they burn the food and those kinds of things! He's also a guardian of medicinal herbs and confounds people that tryvto take them without his blessing. They can also moove in a tornado.
Those are only some of the brazilian legends, and I find them extremely cool! Obviously there are many others, but these ones are the most common and loved!
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november 2022, purple carrot meal reviews:
penne with pesto and broccolini:
eating straight up roasted broccolini (or any of the brassica oleracea cultivars) not mixed into a larger dish will never be exciting to me, very "well I guess I'll eat these vegetables before I have the good-tasting part," but at least it wasn't just straight up broccoli.
The pesto is fucking delicious. It's made with sage rather than basil, and you put some spinach in there too (which might be typical for pesto but I've never made pesto before.) Taking a bite and discovering that some of it has snuck up into the hollow penne tubes is a wonderful little surprise treat every time.
The pasta was gluten free, I guess, which isn't relevant to me, but also wasn't something I would have noticed if it hadn't been labelled as such, so good job there.
It made me use the food processor, which means I had to clean the food processor, which I don't appreciate from a meal kit. I thought these were supposed to be fast and easy!
Still, extremely tasty, less work than I expected, and I felt very nourished. There's a reason I made this one first. 4/5
"thanksgiving sandwiches"
I don't think there's any way to spend 40 minutes making a sandwich and feel good about it. These are ciabatta rolls on which you put an array of ingredients that will dirty half a dozen dishes in your kitchen. Bowls, a saucepan, a roasting pan, a whisk, the gang's all here. The main "meat" of the sandwich is roasted brussels sprouts, which is not exciting and also incredibly impractical. Putting large solid orbs in your sandwich means the process of eating the sandwich is centered on the effort to prevent those orbs from falling out and rolling away. They had the audacity to expect me to also dip the sandwiches into a gravy mixture, which would be an insane thing to do with any sandwich, but even moreso with one as precarious as this.
The other main ingredient is broccoli slaw, which would stay in the sandwich well enough if the bread were allowed to embrace it, however these huge brussels orbs prevent this, so actually this is a brussels sprout sandwich with a side of broccoli slaw that starts out inside the sandwich.
If you are very very careful, you still can't prevent the entire brussels sprout from ejecting itself from the sandwich and into your mouth the instant you bite, and now you your job is trying to make it through this enormous brussels sprout before you can take another bite of the parts of the food that taste good. My jaw hurts. Possibly I should have roasted the brussels sprouts for longer, but shoving gigantic brussels sprouts into a sandwich was a mistake from the start.
utter foolishness. 2/5
Also unless I'm missing something, both of the above recipes straight up lied about including garlic among the provided ingredients. Luckily I had garlic on hand, but that could have been very annoying.
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[note from the present: there was a third meal in that kit that I intended to do a silly little review for too but then I never got around to making it. ty to Fen for sending me the free mealkit tho, I was eating really badly around that time and it was really good to eat some stuff that was actually good & nutritious]
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tashabilities · 23 days
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It's raining.
I made bread and it tastes good but looks terrible so i'ma try again
My loaf pan is a half inch smaller than standard loaf pans, too,
So i'ma get a real loaf pan and hit it one more time.
I made basically two loaves because I knew all that dough wasn't gon fit in that pan, but overestimated how much dough to cut off the loaf.
Now I see I could've let a li'l more of the dough be in the loaf pan.
It's a tasty bread,
I can make garlic bread out of it to go with the stuffed shells, and reclaim that old recipe,
But I can't make a sandwich out of it,
Both loaves are too small and oddly shaped.
I might can make a sandwich out of the smaller small loaf, cut it lengthwise.
It's a li'l tough, too, maybe I should take it out at 25 minutes vs 30.
I put the last of that bag of chickpeas for my salads in the instant pot for an hour and 40 minutes and yes, that's it.
I grated the mozzarella for the shells and the Jack and sharp cheddar for the nacho cheese sauce experiment, whenever I stop being scared of lemon juice and baking soda.
I washed a fuck ton of dishes and ate a great salad and a potato for dinner because I didn't have energy for shells.
I need a white onion and a red onion and more active dry yeast.
One packet of the yeast I had was dead, didn't bloom at all, but the second packet was the one.
I'm so glad I reclaimed my kitchen.
My people show you love by feeding you,
So it's really been a process of giving the love to myself first like,
I don't have anybody to cook for but no,
I'M somebody to cook for.
And it's not gon make or break me to experiment with two cups of flour and 8 ounces of cheese.
I'm learning new things, trying new things.
Issa process.
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abyssonance · 1 year
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Presents a loaf of garlic bread!
Oh this was...
Huh.
They did not expect an offering of food. They gave it a preemptive sniff.
Oh.
That smelled... very tasty.
They gently took it out of the girl's hands and monched it as gently as a giant dragon could.
...
.......
Holy fuck.
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HAPPY ELDRITCH NOISES.
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Are there any recipes you've been wanting to make but haven't got around to yet?
theres a bunch of little tastie snack cheese bread potato and garlic dishes ive saved that i want to cook one day....just dont have any excuses to indulge in the decedance.
something thats particularly been on my mind for maybe the last year or so is garlic confit but the sheer fact you can grow botulism in the oil it makes me hesitate. i know itd take like at least a couple weeks for them to fuck up the food when fridgerated i just. Worry. Fret.
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musherum · 2 years
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break to analyze the eggplant parm 1 week ago
okay so with the eggplant parm, my goal going into it was to avoid it getting soggy. but, i realized after making it, making that my aim was likely a mistake. ultimately there is probably no way that breaded eggplant cooked in tomato sauce is not going to get a little soggy, no matter how i layer the cheese or how thick the breadcrumb coating is. i think what i shouldve been aiming for was better cohesion between the whole dish - i feel that, while it tasted good, towards the end of eating the eggplant parm started to fall apart a little. and while some of that is to be expected, like with a lasagna, i feel some of it had to do with me double-breading the bottom layer of eggplant - i feel now that that was a wrongheaded strategy. i feel like rather than keeping the dish crispy, it ended up sogging out just as much as the rest of it, and then the soggy extra breadcrumbs undermined the structural integrity of the dish, keeping the bottom layer of eggplant from cohering with the ones on top of it. plus, the double-breaded eggplant layer took up significantly more room, and that was room that couldve been instead filled with say, two layers of single-breaded eggplant! as well, i found that in the final product, the top of the eggplant stacks got plenty crispy enough, just from the sauce generally collecting away from it, and from it being more exposed to the high heat of the oven as i browned the cheese. so that provided some nice contrast, and revealed my attempts to avoid sogginess as misguided in two ways. for all my criticisms, though, my guests seemed to still really like it. oh!! the dish couldve also used some acid, for some brightness, and for contrast against all the cheese and the roasted tomato sauce, which had lost a lot of the natural acidity of the tomatoes. maybe i cook the tomato sauce for a shorter period next time, given itll be spending another like, hour cooking in with the eggplant stacks. or maybe ill even just squeeze some lemon juice over the final product, and augment it that way?? idk, ill workshop this.
back on the topic of the cheese: i fucked up and instead of buying fresh mozzarella for the top of the eggplant stacks, i ended up getting pizza mozzarella that was sold in a deceptive little boule, like fresh mozz often is. it still browned up nicely, but i feel fresh mozzarella wouldve had a better stretchiness and a better flavour - although it couldve also released a lot of moisture, and ruined the crispy top layer of the eggplant stacks. so who knows?
for the salad, the real disappointment were the pepitas, and the vinaigrette. the pepitas i simply over-toasted - they lost a lot of their light nuttiness, and ended up tasting slightly popcorn-y. the vinaigrette didnt taste lemony enough, or savory enough - it was just sort of acidic, so maybe some zest in with it wouldve been good. but i think i need to up my vinaigrette game in general, and make something a little more involved, because a lot of these very simple vinaigrettes ive been making have not been working for me. they just dont taste very good. i saw a recipe from americas test kitchen that made a lemon vinaigrette with molasses and mayonnaise. and while that seems slightly sacrilegious to what a vinaigrette is supposed to be at its core, i bet it would also be pretty damn tasty. i may also just need to source better lemons 🤷‍♀️
the garlic bread was just garlic bread. i screwed up a little trying to toast the bread under the broiler and overdid it though, which makes me think i need a new technique for crisping up garlic bread, cause the browning was very uneven - pale in some places, almost burnt in others. it was still garlic and bread and butter and herbs, and again, my guests still enjoyed it, but i was kind of mad at myself that i let it get too dark and toasty in places
so maybe like, a B overall?? maybe a B-minus??
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st4rrg1rll · 2 years
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05.21.22
sorry no pics of my cute ass outfit but it’s okay lol, i got so many compliments today it was super sweet i love women!!
ummm today was good. i woke up at 8:30 and got dressed and stuff right away and then katie and i went to dunkin for breakfast! and my iced coffee was too sweet. then we went to the farmer’s market and that was super cute and fun! it was such a beautiful day!! and there were so many dogs and beautiful women! and it was right on the river so you could hear the waterfall the whole time, it was fantastic! we walked around to all the stands before going back to buy things, i bought bread and sheep cheeses and mustard and garlic honey which is sooo tasty. i really want to go visit the bee farm (for lack of a better term. it’s midnight okay) that it came from!
after the farmers market we went home to chill out for a little. we tried all the stuff we bought and it was so yummy. the ac broke last night so we just chilled in katie’s room bc she has a portable ac unit going in here. we watched the secret world of arrietty and it was super cute! i almost fell asleep tho lol.
after that it was about 3:30, so we went w aunt maire to the food truck festival that was happening. it was cute but super hot and sunny out. first we had shaved ice and i got watermelon and blue raspberry flavoring. then we shared a stuffed soft pretzel (chicken bacon ranch cheese i think it was, it was amazinggg), and then i had a little brisket sandwich, some french fries, and a coke, appropriate bc we were at coca cola stadium. though the only water they were selling was dasani, yuck tap water. then katie got some cookie dough and we got back in the car to go home.
while we drove home i finally told aunt maire about mary and what she did to me growing up, and we had something like a heart to heart. it was strange to hear her say she was actively trying to get custody of me and alex and looking for any reason to call CPS. the reality of the situation was worse than she imagined and she felt bad about not trying harder, but if CPS had ever been involved in my life, that would have fucked my dad over even more than he already was screwing himself over. but it was nice to get it off my chest and to know how much my family hated her and was worried for us. it was hard for me to talk about, and i struggled to go into detail, but i’m glad i got it off my chest like i said. she deserved to know more than anyone, i think she cared the most. her and my mom were the closest after all.
i cried but it was cathartic. when we got home the atmosphere was light again and i was trying to deal with langston getting locked out and possibly needing to go home tonight but thankfully the key dude showed up and let him in. in case i had to leave tonight i went to see grandma! which was the first time i’d seen her in a long time, i should probably try to get up here on my own without katie more often. it was good to catch up. she’s getting knee surgery again soon. she’s getting old, i don’t want to forget to cherish her, or forget to make her feel as loved as she did for me. i love my grandma.
but yeah, after seeing grandma, we just came back home and have been kind of just chilling on our phones since then. obv i did not need to go back to the city tonight. i’m going to try to go tomorrow before the storm hits. tomorrow we might go to breakfast and then to the creamery for ice cream! that will be fun!
i’m so glad i came up here this weekend. i really needed it!!
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