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whump-tr0pes · 3 years

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HB4-40/Whumtober day 25

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, and Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Content warning: migraine, emesis, death mention, mention of parent killing a child, implied noncon drugging

The room was moving slowly around Gavin, but he was lying still. He blinked his eyes open and winced as even the soft light from the crack in the curtains stabbed into his eyes, feeling like a knife directly into his brain. He squinted and groaned softly as his eyes slowly focused on his own hands, bound in front of him and lying on a pillow, and Isaac, lying next to him on his back, his pinky just touching Gavin’s.

Gavin stirred, and froze as the pain behind his left eye pounded harder. His stomach churned. He twisted his hands against the rope and winced as it bit into his skin.

He squinted – why was his left eye so blurry? – and looked at Isaac where he lay. Gavin didn’t want to wake him; he seemed peaceful, relaxed, his mouth open slightly, the muscles of his face soft and loose. Another wave of nausea rolled over him and he squeezed his eyes shut. He gently placed his hand on Isaac’s shoulder.

Isaac jerked awake with a gasp, his eyes darting over the room, his right hand curling into a fist. Gavin collapsed against the pillow with a moan. Isaac found Gavin and froze, then relaxed, all at once.

“Hey,” Isaac said, with a soft smile. His gaze flicked to the rope still around Gavin’s wrists. “Oh, shit,” he murmured, and hesitantly reached out. “Can I—”

“Please,” Gavin breathed. “Don’t… don’t feel good.”

Isaac’s brow furrowed as he fumbled at the knot. “Oh. What… what’s going on?”

“Head hurts,” Gavin gasped, as even the act of talking seemed to make the throbbing behind his eye even worse. “Nauseated. Don’t wanna move.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. Is it…? Did something…?” Isaac’s hands stopped on the rope. “Are you… sure I didn’t hurt you last night, Gavin?”

“Yeah, sure,” Gavin breathed. “Please, just… f-fuck, hurts…”

“I’ll get Finn,” Isaac said, and Gavin sighed with relief as the knot came away. “Maybe they—”

“Just a headache,” Gavin said tightly. He carefully rubbed his wrists where the rope had cut into them, just a little, while he slept. “It’s… it’s just…” Just the movement of his hands was enough to tip the room around him. He heaved forward, leaned off the side of the bed, and vomited into the small trashcan there. Sweat broke out over his skin.

“I’m getting Finn,” Isaac said in a rush, practically leaping off the bed. He opened the door and disappeared down the hallway. Gavin groaned as he slumped with his head hanging off the side of the bed. As the blood rushed to his head, the pounding grew even worse, although Gavin didn’t know how that was possible. He dry heaved once, then retreated back until his head lay against the cool of the mattress. The cool felt good.

“…n’t know what’s wrong,” came Isaac’s voice as he approached their room. “I just woke up and he was—”

“Don’t turn on the light,” Finn said, their voice coming from the doorway.

Thank god for you, Finn. Please, please don’t turn on the light.

“Oh. I… why, is that…?”

“Just… give me a sec.”

Gavin could hear the soft sounds of padded feet on the floor, but quieter than normal, as if… as if Finn was trying to be quiet. Even so, the sound crawled under his skin and made him feel sick with it. The air moved around him as Finn knelt beside the bed.

“Careful, I…” Gavin’s mouth was numb. “I… I puked.”

“It’s fine,” Finn said, their voice barely louder than a whisper. “Ellis has had morning sickness all week. It’s just puke. You woke up like this?”

“Y-yeah,” Gavin mumbled.

“No recent head injuries?”

“Not… recently…” Gavin laughed, once, then moaned as the pain in his head ratcheted up another notch. “Oh, god.”

Finn huffed out a laugh of their own. “Okay, fair enough. Ever had this happen before?”

“No,” Gavin groaned. “Oh, fuck, what’s…?” He pressed his hands against his head, desperate to push away the pain. “What is this?”

“It’s a migraine,” Finn said gently. Gavin flinched as he felt Finn’s cool fingers against his head, carding gently through his damp hair. He groaned and pushed weakly into the touch.

“F-feels good,” Gavin whimpered. “I’m… s-sorry, I… I don’t know what’s… happening…”

“Honestly, I’m surprised we aren’t all having them,” Finn murmured, a smile in their voice. “They’re a really common symptom of stress. And—”

“You’re the ones who were stressed,” Gavin said, weakly. “You’re the ones who were being tortured.”

Finn blew out a slow breath through their lips. Finally, they turned to Isaac and said, “Please explain to your boyfriend what a dumbass he is. I’m going to get some ice. One of the theories about migraines is that they’re caused by a blood vessel in the brain dilating and putting pressure on the surrounding tissue. Ice on the back of the neck can constrict the—”

“Not a dumbass,” Gavin whispered, trying to ignore how his cheeks flushed. Isaac’s boyfriend? If he didn’t feel so fucking… sick…

“Yeah, sure, Gavin,” Finn said gently, and the air moved again as they stood. Their voice faded until it sounded like they were standing outside the door. “I’ll be right back, Isaac. I’ll bring a clean trashcan and clean that one. I could try to get my hands on some rizatriptan, too. A classmate of mine used to take it for her migraines. It works pretty well, from what I hear. If this is gonna be a regular thing—”

“You mean this is gonna happen again?” Isaac whispered. “Finn… he… he doesn’t fucking… Finn, just… just tell me what to do. Okay? Just… tell me what to do. He… he takes care of me, all the goddamned time. Finn, please…”

“Isaac… breathe. It’s a migraine. It sucks, but it isn’t life threatening, and there are medications that treat it. I can ask Edrissa if she knows any herbal remedies. She might—”

“You… you won’t tell her who it’s for, right? I mean…”

Finn laughed, softly. “I won’t let her poison him, Isaac. No, I’ll say it’s for Ellis. She’s been going absolutely bananaballs over that baby. She’d be happy to help.”

A pause. “…okay. I just… Finn, he… he doesn’t deserve this. After everything he did… I mean, yeah, no shit he was stressed, he walked the fucking wire for three weeks in that fucking nightmare mansion, for us. And… this is how he’s repaid?”

“I know. Believe me, I know. We’re all dealing with… various versions of this. Ellis says their morning sickness is way worse than the first two times. I’m pretty sure Tori’s got an ulcer, and Vera’s back pain has been… I mean, yesterday she could barely get out of bed. And… well. You’ve seen Sam. Although they’re getting better every day.”

“Yeah, but… Finn, could… could this be… I don’t know, a result of the head injury I gave him? I mean, that was almost a year ago now, but… could something that long ago be causing it?”

Gavin’s chest ached at the guilt in Isaac’s voice. He wanted to call out to him and tell him no, this wasn’t from the head injury, he was sure of it… but he felt if he raised his voice, his brain would catch fire and come melting out his ears like hot cheese. The thought made him gag.

“I… don’t think so. I mean… yeah, technically, it could be from that, but it’s way, way more likely that it’s from the stress. I mean… don’t tell Ellis I said this, but… I’ll never doubt his place in the family again, because of how much he sacrificed for us. His mother would have skinned him alive if she ever got even a hint that he wasn’t hers, and that he still cared about us. And he did all that anyway. It would have been… much, much easier for him to just go with it, and let her kill us one by one. I mean, she might have still killed him, but she might not. And he would be… I mean, fuck, Isaac, he was… tortured. And the torture he put himself through, lying for us… what he made himself do to you…”

“I know,” Isaac said brokenly. “There’s… no way I could ever thank him enough for what he did for us. For… for me.”

“You have a lifetime to try, Isaac.”

For a moment, the pain faded, pushed right out of Gavin’s head by his shock. He’d hoped they’d let him stay, but there was some small part of him that believed they were only letting him stay until rumors of their survival had faded, and he could be released again with minimal risk. He’d hoped they’d want him, as part of their family. He’d hoped Isaac would let him stay by his side.

The pain rushed back in and Gavin whimpered softly. Finn and Isaac were silent for a moment. The smell of his vomit was making him sick. He pressed his face against the mattress.

“You… you think he’d want me for that long? A lifetime?”

Finn sighed. “You’re both dumbasses. Yes, Isaac, I do. You’re… you’re literally the first person to ever show him what love looks like. You think he took you just for shits and giggles? I mean, for that reason, too, but… I think he wanted to see what it was that made you so special that you’d give yourself up for Sam.”

“I’m not special. Anyone else would have—”

“You are to him, Isaac. And to the rest of us, too, but absolutely to him. Now… let me go get some ice, okay? I can grab the trash can in a sec.”

“No, I… I can do that,” Isaac said, his voice low and gentle. “It’s fine.”

“…okay. Well, I’ll be back. Grab the trashcan from the bathroom.”

“Yeah.”

The voices faded. Gavin floated in the pain, every heartbeat grabbing him and pulling him back down into his body. The room moved slowly around him, the sour smell of his own sick rankling in his nose. There was a rustling, and when Gavin peeled his eyes open, there was a fresh trashcan on the floor beneath him. He sighed and pulled the covers up over his head.

After a long moment, several minutes or several hours, he couldn’t tell, he felt the mattress dip as someone sat next to him. The blanket was drawn back from over his head, and a cool compress settled on the back of his neck. He groaned softly as the cool pushed away the nausea for a moment.

“Thanks, Finn,” he whispered. Then, fingers trailed gently through his hair, and he whined softly. He’d know that touch anywhere. “Isaac,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Isaac said softly, his hand moving slowly across Gavin’s forehead. “I asked Finn to let me bring you the ice.”

“Mmm,” Gavin moaned, and his eyes slid shut again. “Thank you.” His left eye ran tears into the sheets.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” Isaac whispered. “I… didn’t know what you needed.”

“Neither did I,” Gavin mumbled. “Ice is good, though. And… and you. You’re… good.”

Isaac huffed out a laugh. “Ah. I just brought the ice—”

“But… it feels good. Thank… you.”

Isaac was silent for a moment. “Yeah, Gavin,” he said after a while.

Every heartbeat pounded in Gavin’s head. For a while, the ice helped. Gavin stirred and opened one eye, cringing when the light from the hallway stabbed into his head. “Do you… do you need to do anything else today?” he said weakly.

“I don’t have anything to do but be here with you,” Isaac whispered. “Unless you want me to go.”

“No,” Gavin sighed. “Stay… please?”

Every breath, every second, seemed to move through Gavin in slow motion. He thought back to the headaches he’d had after Isaac put him in the hospital. Those never lasted for very long, because whenever he started complaining of a headache, his mother would give him something that made him sleepy and dizzy, and he’d crawl back to bed and doze until it was over. For the first time since reaching the north, fear sunk into Gavin’s chest that if any of the team got sick – and Finn couldn’t help them – they were hundreds of miles away from the state-of-the-art hospitals that kept him alive when he’d been close to death. He curled into himself and tugged gently on his own hair, desperate for relief.

The compress on the back of his neck began to warm. Gavin whimpered, tears of frustration running from his eyes. He felt trapped in his own head, assaulted on every side by the faint light from the hallway and curtains, and by the sounds of the others somewhere else in the house.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, was a vague memory of another cool hand on his head, a soft kiss in his hair, a low voice, soothing him as he lay in bed. Pain spiked in his head and he shoved the memory away. He didn’t need to think of her, not now.

Isaac’s hand slid down the back of his head and down his neck, under the compress. “Let me get a new one,” he said softly. The mattress bounced slightly as he stood. Gavin lay still as he walked out of the room, although all he wanted to do was to cling to Isaac, beg him to stay. The headache was getting worse.

A moment later, an eternity later, the mattress dipped again.

“Hey,” Isaac’s voice whispered, and Gavin could have sobbed with relief. “I have some tea… try some?”

Gavin moaned and obediently lifted his head. A cup pressed to his lips and he took a sip. It tasted herbal, sweet, with a hint of spice as well. There was a faint sound as Isaac put the cup on the nightstand.

“Wh-what is it?”

“Something Edrissa made,” Isaac murmured. “Tea with peppermint, lavender, ginger, rosemary, and honey. She said those herbs are good for migraine.” He pressed a fresh cold compress to Gavin’s neck.

Gavin moaned weakly. “She… tell her thank you,” he whispered.

“Hm. Maybe someday,” Isaac said. His voice sounded sad. “For right now… that tea is for Ellis, as far as she knows.”

“I hate lying to her,” Gavin whispered. “If she ever finds out, she’ll… she’ll hate me.”

The unspoken words hung in the air between them: she already hates you.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” Isaac murmured. “You can tell her once you’re better, if you really want. Right now, let’s just… focus on getting you over this. Finn already called into Burmingham to see if they carry riza— I don’t remember what it’s called. Sounds like they can order it and have it in within a week.”

“Hope I don’t get another migraine before then,” Gavin rasped, and pushed weakly into Isaac’s hands as he stroked his hair.

“Yeah,” Isaac said weakly. “Me… me too.” Isaac’s throat clicked as he swallowed. “Can I… do anything else? For you? I mean… do you need anything else?”

“I just need you,” Gavin whispered, not caring how that sounded. “Can you… can you just… I don’t know. I just want you with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Isaac said gently. His hand moved down to gently massage the back of Gavin’s neck. “Is that… okay?”

“Yeah,” Gavin sighed, and shuddered as another wave of nausea rolled over him. “That’s… that’s good.”

Continued here

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newandfiguringitout · 4 years

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Gavin and Isaac Captivity Mood-Board

Okay so I might have done a thing. This is a mood board for Isaac’s captivity in Honor Bound 1 written by the amazing @whump-tr0pes whose praises I cannot sing enough of for creating these two.

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

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Honor Bound 2 - 38

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

@ashintheairlikesnow and anon requested something like this

AO3

Cw: thoughts of death, accidental triggering of someone with PTSD, flashbacks

The next morning, Gavin made sure he was awake before all the others. As he went to bed the night before, his eyes still a little raw from crying, he’d demanded of himself to wake up at the crack of dawn, before anyone else would reasonably be up. He kept the blinds open so the sun would stream into his window as it rose. All night he had nightmares of a dark figure with razor sharp teeth and burning eyes standing at his window, looking in at him.

In the morning, he shot upright in bed. For a moment he completely forgot where he was, casting his gaze around the dark room, his sleeping clothes slightly damp with sweat. Am I at home?

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and pushed himself out of bed. He let his gaze move once more around the room, more slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light of the coming sunrise. He looked out the window at the clouds just starting to turn pink in the east, at the deep indigo that stretched across the sky above them. He shook himself and changed into his clothes for the day.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he intended to do with being up so early. He knew he would struggle with the task of making breakfast for the whole family. He’d never had to cook before. He was learning, but it was a slow process. He’d helped make the mashed potatoes for dinner last night, and he hadn’t even burned anything. How you could burn mashed potatoes was a little beyond him, but he’d been surprised all the same.

He was getting better at this, at being part of the family. He was pulling his own weight. Earning his keep. For a moment a terrible thought flashed across his mind: maybe if I prove to them I’m useful, they won’t kill me when they’ve extracted all the information they need. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand roughly over his face. I need to stop thinking like that.

Not that it wouldn’t happen; Gavin had long since realized his death was an inevitability. He’d realized it as soon as Isaac had held the knife to his throat. What he needed to stop doing was ruminating on it. The rest of the family had spent their lives with the understanding that they could be killed, or worse, at any moment. If Gavin kept thinking about it, all it would do was stress him out. All he could do is look forward.

He stumbled gracelessly into the kitchen and reached for the container of coffee. If he could do nothing else, he could make coffee. To him it was just a matter of following steps: take out the filter, replace the filter, scoop in the coffee, put the thing back into the coffee maker, fill it up with water, hit the green button. It was simple and hard to screw up. Perfect for me, he thought bitterly.

But Gray had told him earlier last week that they really liked his coffee. That somehow it tasted better than when anyone else made it. Gavin had no idea what that meant. As far as he was aware, coffee was coffee. They didn’t have the good coffee he was used to, but he didn’t mind. The idea that someone could somehow make coffee that was better than everyone else’s, when they were using the cheap stuff and it was such a simple, step-by-step process, was weird to Gavin. But when Gray had said it, Gavin had latched onto the praise like his life depended on it.

Maybe it does.

Stop it.

He distractedly flipped on the coffee maker and took down a mug for himself. He leaned back on the counter and waited for it to brew.

When the coffee pot was about halfway full, a door in the hallway opened. Gavin froze. He couldn’t run and hide, someone would know someone had been here. The coffee pot was running, for Christ’s sake. Although, wasn’t there a setting where you could set up the pot the night before and it would turn on by itself in the morning? Gavin could swear he’d seen someone do that before. But had anyone actually set it up like that? No, of course not, the coffee pot had been empty. So if he ran and hid, they’d get suspicious. Wonder why he was hiding. Maybe they’d think he was working against them, sending messages to his mother. Maybe they’d think he betrayed them. Maybe his life would end this morning.

Before Gavin could decide what to do and react, a small figure wandered out into the hall. Their curls stuck out sideways from their head and they yawned.

Gavin slumped back against the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. Sam is probably the one that wants me dead the least. He clenched his jaw and swallowed against the wave of guilt that moved over him at the thought. They’re the purest of all of them, and I broke them first.

Sam rubbed their fists into their eyes as they walked into the kitchen. “G’morning, Gavin,” they mumbled.

“Um.” Gavin stared at the floor. “Hi, Sam.” They’ve never been alone in a room with me before. How can they feel safe like this?

“You making coffee?” Sam raised their eyes blearily to Gavin.

“Um.” Gavin looked at the coffee maker, then to the mug still held tight in his hand, and then back at Sam. He had no idea what to say. “Um. Yeah.”

“Cool.” Sam yawned. “Can I have some?”

Gavin yawned, too. “Yeah, of course.”

Sam smiled at him. “You make good coffee.”

Gavin blushed. “What is everyone doing today?”

Sam shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think Vera and Tori are headed back into town again today. Sounds like their plan was cut a little short yesterday.”

“Yeah, I heard that Daniel Shit-ster guy was an asshole to Vera.”

Sam laughed. “Shit-ster. I like that.” They shrugged. “Why anyone would be rude to Vera is beyond me. But she said he said some… um… really bad things to her.”

“Oh.” Gavin’s mouth twisted. “Like what?”

“Um…” Sam blushed and looked down. “I probably shouldn’t say. It’s her thing to tell.”

That bad, huh? “Okay.”

Behind him, the coffee pot started to gurgle.

“Coffee’s done,” Gavin mumbled, and turned to the cabinet to pull down another mug for Sam. It occurred to him that Sam might have needed help getting the mug down themselves. He reached for the pot and started to pour. “How do you like your coffee?”

Sam laughed once. “Lots of room for cream, please.”

“Lots of room, coming right up.” Gavin smiled tightly, still facing away from Sam. He poured his own cup, with only a little room. He turned back with Sam’s cup in his hand. “Here you go, Sammy.”

Sam froze.

Oh, fuck.

“Come on, Sammy, let’s try this one more time. What’s Isaac’s last name? Makes it so much easier to find him. Help me out.”

“Hey, Sammy, let’s go again. I wanna see if you can hold your breath for long enough this time.”

“I have all six of you now. I won’t cry over one dead Sammy.”

“Sam, I… I’m so sorry…”

“No.” Sam took a step back, their eyes wide and brimming with tears.

Gavin put the mugs back on the counter and took a step towards Sam, his hands held out to them. “Sam, I…”

Sam stumbled backwards, colliding hard with the wall and slumping down. They held their hands out in front of them, as if to protect themselves from Gavin. Tears rolled down their cheeks. “P-please, no…”

“Sam, Sam I’m sorry, I won’t call you that again. I promise. I’m so sorry. I… I’m not gonna hurt you… I swear…”

“Please, n-no,” Sam gasped. “Not again. Not now.”

Gavin pressed his hands to his mouth. “No no no, no fuck, no…” He stood in the center of the kitchen, frozen, staring down at Sam as they cringed away from him against the wall. He knew what he had to do. He knew he’d probably die for this.

For a moment, he considered just leaving Sam there. Maybe going back to his room. Maybe Sam wouldn’t remember. Maybe everyone would assume Sam had had a flashback, and Gavin hadn’t really been there.

Gavin’s stomach roiled. I can’t do that to them. This is my fault. I pay the price for it.

Gavin lowered his voice. “Sam, don’t move, okay? Stay here. Do you hear me?”

Sam nodded where they sat crumpled against the wall. Their eyes were wide, fixed on Gavin. I wonder if they think I’ll torture them if they move.

He swallowed hard and walked out of the kitchen.

He made his way down the dark hall to another room. The closer he got, the more his hands started to shake. It felt different, walking to his death, instead of waiting for it to come to him. But he couldn’t leave Sam like that.

They’d figure it out anyway, and know I left them, and then they’d definitely kill me.

He stopped in front of a closed door. Took a deep breath. Knocked three times.

“Uugh.” Something rustled behind the door.

Gavin shivered and knocked again.

“Muh. What.”

Gavin’s lips trembled. “Isaac, it’s, um. It’s Gavin.”

A loud sigh from behind the door. “What d’you want?”

“It’s, um.” Gavin blew out a slow breath. “It’s Sam.”

Behind the door, Gavin could hear fast movement. A thump as Isaac got out of bed. Rapid footsteps to the door. Gavin pressed himself against the opposite wall as the door opened. Isaac’s hair was messy, his clothes rumpled, his eyes… angry.

“Oh, shit,” Gavin whispered.

“What’s wrong with Sam?” Isaac growled. He looked down the hall towards Sam’s room. The door was open, the lights off.

Gavin glanced toward the kitchen. “Um, they… uh…”

Isaac brushed past Gavin and headed for the kitchen. “What happened?”

“I…” Why is it every time I open my fucking mouth I’m terrified he’ll murder me? “I… accidentally called them… um…” I need to tell him before we reach Sam. “I called them Sammy. It was an accident, I swear to god, I didn’t mean…”

Isaac stopped and glanced back at Gavin. “‘Sammy’?”

Gavin looked down at the floor. “It’s the name I called them when I… um…”

Darkness passed over Isaac’s face. “When you tortured them.”

Gavin’s mouth went dry. “Um. Yeah.”

Isaac turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen. Gavin followed right behind.

Sam cowered back against the wall, their face red and wet with tears. As Isaac approached them they whimpered and covered their head with their arms. A miserable wail filled the kitchen.

“Hey, Sam,” Isaac said quietly, soothingly. “Sam, it’s Isaac.”

“N-no,” Sam sobbed.

“Sam…” Isaac crouched beside them, leaning against the wall. “Sam, you’re safe. It’s Isaac. You’re in the kitchen in the north house. Can you look at me?”

Slowly, Sam raised their head and looked at Isaac. Gavin’s chest ached with the trust he saw there, the pain. Sam looked like Isaac like he was the sun after a year of darkness. Their hands reached out, seemingly unconsciously, and grasped at Isaac’s shirt.

“Can I touch you?” Isaac said softly. Sam nodded. Isaac pulled them into his arms.

“What happened?” snapped a voice behind him. Gavin’s blood ran cold. Vera pushed past him into the kitchen. Tori was right behind.

Isaac looked up, a sort of casual sadness on his face. “It’s okay. Sam just had a flashback. They’re alright.”

“What set it off?” Tori asked, and her eyes flicked to Gavin for a moment.

He swallowed hard. “I…”

“Shit,” another voice said behind him. Gavin quailed back against the wall, as far from Sam and Isaac as he could get. Ellis wandered into the kitchen, too, the blanket from their bed wrapped tight around them, with Finn pressed to their side, barely awake.

“Sam just had a flashback,” Isaac said to the whole kitchen. “They’re alright.”

“Why?” Ellis rasped.

“Um…” Gavin trembled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t mean to what?” Ellis snarled. “What the fuck did you do?” They took a step towards Gavin, their teeth bared at him.

“I called them Sa—” His eyes snapped to Sam and he cut off the word. “I called them, um, something I called them when I was, um…”

Ellis stepped forward and got right in Gavin’s face. “When you were torturing him, you piece of shit? How could you slip up like that? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Finn tried to pull them back and Ellis threw off Finn’s hand on their arm. “I thought you were trying to be different, you fucking trust-fund bitch.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Gavin whimpered. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out…”

“‘Slipped out’?” Ellis growled. “That isn’t just ‘slipped out.’” They stuck a finger in Gavin’s face. “That is fucking…” Their words ran out and they snarled wordlessly at him.

Gavin felt the stirring of rage in his chest, of fear at being backed into a corner. It’s not Vera. Ellis won’t kill me. He threw a glance at Isaac, sitting on the floor with Sam, running gentle fingers through their hair and murmuring softly to them. Maybe Isaac wouldn’t kill me, but he might let Ellis do it.

Gavin turned his gaze back to Ellis. They took a step back, glaring at him, before they turned and looked back at Sam. Their posture instantly relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered. “I tried to help them, I tried to, to calm them down…”

“I think you’ve done enough,” Ellis snapped over their shoulder. “Why don’t you just go back to your room, let Sam come down from the flashback they had of you torturing them?”

“Ellis, take it easy,” Isaac said, holding a hand to them. “He didn’t mean it. Let’s just everyone… stay calm.”

“I know he didn’t fucking mean it,” Ellis snapped. “I know he’s good now, he’s perfectly fucking innocent.” Ellis eyes were streaming tears now. “I know he didn’t mean to fucking traumatize all of us.”

“Ellis,” Isaac said calmly. “Now we’re getting into your shit. You’re not talking about Sam now. Let me just… help them, and then we can talk about your stuff, okay?”

“I can talk about it,” Finn said, still a little sleepily. “Ellis, let’s go talk.” They took Ellis’s hand and gently pulled them toward the hall.

“I’m okay,” Sam said quietly from within the circle of Isaac’s arms. “I’m s-sorry. I’m doing okay now.” Isaac squeezed them and pressed a kiss to their forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered. “I want to, to help… what can I do?”

“I think you’ve done enough,” Ellis said bitterly. Finn pulled a little harder and guided them from the kitchen.

Gavin hung his head and turned, walking down the dark hallway to his room. He left his coffee in the kitchen, untouched, until it turned cold.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #in which Gavin is such a dumbass #but he's trying ok #thoughts of death tw #sam is a smol bean #sam is a cinnamon roll #PTSD tw #past torture #flashbacks tw #Sam whump #gavin whump #emotional whump #and Ellis is so pissed #Fillis #my oc: Gavin

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

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Honor Bound 2 - 44

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: 😈

Isaac rubbed the back of his neck as he walked through the living room, back to his room. His mind was still reeling from his talk with Gray. He’d known it was coming; the doctor told Gray months ago that they would have to retire from the life they’d been living. Isaac had known it was coming. He’d known. He just hadn’t accepted.

Gray was… family. They were the closest thing to a true, loving parent Isaac had since his father died. They were the core of the team, the first one to fight the syndicates. They’d picked up the others, one by one, over the years. The family was Gray. And now they were leaving.

Isaac’s chest ached with the ancient wound. They’re leaving me. He pressed his hand to where it hurt. They’re leaving me because I failed. He blew out a slow breath and shook his head. They’re not leaving me. They’re keeping themselves safe. And they’ll always be there for me. They just won’t be on the road. He gritted his teeth and walked down the dark hall.

“Isaac…”

He paused as he passed Gavin’s room. Isaac hadn’t seen Gavin all day, now that he thought about it. He peered through Gavin’s doorway to see him sitting on the bed, his spine bent, his hands squeezed together in front of him so hard his knuckles were white.

“Whoa…” Isaac stood in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Um…” Gavin’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Isaac. “I…”

Isaac took a slow step into the room, letting his hands fall open to the side. “Jesus, Gavin. Are you okay?” Isaac bit his lip as he searched Gavin’s face. “Nightmares again?”

“What? Oh. N-no.” Gavin shook his head, glancing at the floor.

“Okay…” Isaac leaned back against the wall. “Then what?” He pitched his voice lower. “Look, after yesterday I would understand—”

“It’s not that,” Gavin said quickly. “It’s, um, it’s not that.”

Isaac tilted his head. “What is it? Gavin, I…” Isaac wet his lips. “I don’t know how to help you if you won’t talk to me.”

“Okay.” Gavin nodded. Swallowed. He stood slowly from the bed, wrapping his arms around himself. Looking so fucking small. Isaac was dizzy for a moment with the thought that Gavin tortured him, a long time ago. Now he was… he was different. Frightened. Probably lonely. I never knew how much he’d suffered because of his family, too. Isaac figured this would be a terrible time to bring that up.

“Gavin…” Isaac took a small step forward and hesitated. Took a step back. “This is really weird, but you can… um… you can talk to me? I know it’s not…” Isaac shrugged, frustrated. He didn’t know what he was saying. “I don’t know…”

“I ha-have something to tell you,” Gavin said quietly, shaking like a leaf.

For a moment, Isaac’s mind was shot through with terror. “I’ve been watching you for my mother all this time.” “I’ve betrayed you.” “I’ve sold you out.” “I’m not who you thought I was turning into.” His own hands shook, before his eyes focused again and he saw Gavin standing in front of him. Looking up at him with something in his eyes that Isaac had seen flashes of before, but never like this. Gavin was staring at Isaac with something that looked like…

Isaac wasn’t sure what it looked like. All he knew was that it made his throat go hot and tight. “Okay,” Isaac said quietly.

“Um…” Gavin took another step closer. He was halfway across the room now. “I…”

Isaac leaned forward. Gavin’s voice was too low to hear. “Gavin, you’re, um… you’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered miserably. Another step closer. “Um…”

Isaac pressed himself back against the wall, his chest fluttering with something uncomfortable and raw. But Gavin wasn’t a torturer any longer. No, he was standing in front of Isaac with an almost painful vulnerability. Gavin slowly raised his gaze to Isaac’s face, anguish twisting his features.

“Gavin… please… just talk to me…”

“I…” Gavin glanced at Isaac’s mouth. He closed the distance between them and pressed a kiss to Isaac’s lips.

Isaac’s mind went completely blank. Gavin’s lips were warm, and a fire burned through Isaac, starting where Gavin’s mouth was on him and sweeping everywhere else. He made a low moan in the back of his throat. His knees suddenly weren’t up to the task of holding him upright. He hadn’t been touched like this, hadn’t been kissed, in over a year. Ever since Gavin had put the marks on Isaac’s body, Isaac had been too terrified to be with anyone else. He’d been too busy unraveling, or healing, or protecting, or running missions to even have time to think about this. He hadn’t wanted to open himself up to another person’s hands, another person’s lips, when he was so damaged. Who could want me, when I’m like this?

Gavin’s breath shivered on Isaac’s lips as Gavin opened his mouth to Isaac’s, placing his hands gently on either side of Isaac’s face. Pressing Isaac back against the wall. Isaac was lost; lost in the touch, lost in the warmth of another person against him, wanting him. Lost in another person with their hands on him. He hadn’t realized how much he missed being touched, being wanted, until this moment.

This wasn’t just any person, though.

This was Gavin.

Isaac stomach dropped, and a wave of NO NO NO hit him like a thunderclap. He didn’t think about it. He acted on instinct.

He pulled his fist back and smashed it against Gavin’s jaw with a crack.

Gavin’s head snapped to the side and he crumpled to the floor. He stumbled to his feet, nearly falling over again, staggering away from Isaac. He put his hand to his cheek, red from the blow. He put his other hand out in front of him. As if to ward Isaac off. Or pull him closer. Gavin’s eyes filled with tears.

Isaac stood half-slumped against the wall, breathing hard, his hand pressed to his lips. Trembling. Feeling the ghost of Gavin’s mouth still on him. Isaac steadied himself on the wall. He felt hollow. Shocked, like everything he knew had been knocked out of him. Shattered.

“Did you…” Isaac rasped. “Did you… the whole time…?”

“No,” Gavin sobbed, his eyes desperate. Apologetic. Agonized. “No. I had no idea. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“How… what?”

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered. “I swear I didn’t know.”

“When…?”

“Um…” Gavin’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “In the past two… um… months…”

Isaac’s eyes went wide. “You… felt about me…?”

Gavin whimpered. “When I… h-had you… I knew you were, um, good, I knew you were strong and I wanted to b-be a part of that…”

Isaac could hear his pulse in his ears. Could feel his heart beating in his chest. “You… you tortured me and you felt—”

“No,” Gavin whispered. He cleared his throat. “No. I f-felt… something, I just didn’t—”

Isaac’s head spun. “And now you feel…?”

“I…” Gavin’s hands dropped and he wrapped his arms around his chest. “I… I’m so sorry…”

“What do you feel?” The words left Isaac’s throat in a sort of strangled gasp.

“I…” Gavin buried his face in his hands. “I… f-feel… for you. I… I didn’t want to, I didn’t think I would… I swear to god, I didn’t come find you because I wanted to—” Gavin tore his hands through his hair and stared at Isaac. “I just… I couldn’t help it. The last two months, being with you… seeing how you, um, how you are with your family… And… seeing how you… um…” The tears in Gavin’s eyes spilled over and he swiped them off his cheeks. “Seeing how you… s-saved me, when I thought you were going to, um, let me die…”

Isaac gasped in a breath.

“Isaac…” Gavin took another step back. “I didn’t want you to, to take me on the road without… knowing. I wanted to be, um… honest. But I understand if you don’t want me to be on the road with you, I understand. I understand if you want to leave me here. Or… um…” He shivered. “…or kill me. Okay? I, um, I get it. I f-fucked up, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I tortured Sam, I’m sorry I tortured you, I’m sorry I tortured all of you. Not just because it ruined, um, this. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I know I can never fix it but I just wanted you to know…”

Isaac couldn’t breathe. There was a question burrowing up through his chest, into his throat, clenching his jaw. How could he…? How could he…?

“How could you want me, after what you’ve done?”

Gavin visibly recoiled, the pain in his eyes tightening even more.

“Isaac,” Gavin breathed. “How could I… I not?”

Isaac could barely think past the roaring in his ears. “What do you mean?”

“Isaac, you…” Gavin’s voice choked off with a whimper. “You’re so good. You’re so strong, Isaac, you’re so fucking strong. I… I know you said I broke you, and I get it now. I understand why you say that. But… I watched you survive something that should have killed you. I watched you… kill and fight and bleed for your family. Over these past few months… I’ve watched you care for them. I’ve watched you… um…” Gavin’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I’ve watched you heal.”

“From what you did.” Isaac gripped the doorframe, terrified he would fall if he let go.

“I know.” Gavin looked like he was being torn apart. Burned alive. “I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m not asking if you want me, too. I just… I couldn’t keep this hidden. I wanted you to know what you were bringing with you.” Gavin ducked his head. “If you still want to bring me.”

“You have valuable intel,” Isaac said robotically. His tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” Gavin’s voice sounded like it was pleading.

“I…” Isaac felt the darkness welling up inside him, the emptiness, the bone-deep desire to be held, touched. Kissed. Fucked. He was starving for it. Thirsting like a man in the desert. The quiet need he always held in his body had been dragged to the surface, and he was burning with it.

But with Gavin? Gavin, who had tortured everyone he loved? Gavin, who had hurt him so deeply he felt the scar would never heal?

“I…” Isaac tried again. “Gavin, you don’t… I w-want… but…”

“I know,” Gavin said softly.

“You hurt me,” Isaac whispered.

Gavin swallowed hard. “I know I did.”

“I… c-can’t…”

Gavin’s eyes slowly went wide, fixed on Isaac’s face. “I’m not asking you to.”

I can’t… Isaac shuddered. He couldn’t follow that path in his mind.

I can’t take him with us now. Not now that I know this.

How would I explain that to the others?

How do I tell them Gavin Stormbeck is…?

Isaac’s mouth went dry. “Do you love me?” he croaked.

Gavin went still, his hands tightening into fists. Bracing for something. He wet his lips. “Yes.”

All the air rushed out of Isaac’s lungs. “Fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered.

“W-we…” Isaac tried to swallow. “We need to be able to trust you. I need to be able to trust you. And now…”

“I know,” Gavin whimpered.

Isaac leaned against the wall, his heart beating in his chest, his lungs burning. His hands shook. “We need you.”

Gavin’s eyes went wide. “I’ll help you. I’ll give you all the information I have.”

Isaac’s lips trembled. “Would you help us fight your mother?”

“She wants me dead,” Gavin said through his teeth. “You don’t. I don’t think.”

“But she’s your mother.”

Gavin took a deep breath. Held it. Let it out. Tears shone in his eyes again. Slowly, he said, “She never loved me. I know that now. I want a real family. I want this. I want y—” Gavin’s mouth snapped closed.

Isaac could barely get the words out. “And what if you… what if you can never have me?”

A deep sadness settled in Gavin’s face. “I’m not asking to have you. All I’m asking for is…” Gavin looked around the room, then shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m asking for. I guess I just wanted you to know the truth. And I wanted you to know before you committed to taking me south.”

Isaac nodded slowly, his head spinning. “Okay,” he murmured. “Okay.” He lurched towards the door, his hand still clutching the doorframe.

“Isaac.”

Isaac froze in the doorway. He slowly raised his eyes to look at Gavin.

Gavin bit his lip. “P-please don’t…”

“Please don’t what?”

Gavin drew in a deep breath. “If y-you’re still taking me on the road, please don’t tell Vera.”

Isaac didn’t have it in him to laugh. “We’re taking you on the road,” he said quietly. “We can’t afford not to.” He turned and fled the room.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #emotional whump #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #and Isaac is kinda a dumbass sometimes #Isaac/Gavin #just fuckin kiss already #kissing #touch starved #everyone's got a crush on Isaac #past torture #gavin's redemption arc #Isaac's scars #isaac's PTSD #isaac's got it goin' on #love confession #enemies to lovers #kinda #my oc: Isaac

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 39

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: blink-and-you’ll miss it consensual sex mention, home invasion, thoughts and discussion of death, gendered slurs (aimed at someone of the opposite gender as the one slurs usually indicate), blood mention, death threats, mention of suicide, gore mention (imagined), gun in the mouth, dismemberment mention, hanging mention

Gavin was alone in the house, alone with his thoughts.

He’d been alone more often than not the past few days. He knew the family was planning on going south soon, and they needed to prepare. They went into town on a daily basis now to meet with people who had recent updates on the syndicate movements, to gather food and supplies, to set up a home for Edrissa once they left. From everything Gavin could gather, Edrissa would be living with a young couple who had escaped the syndicates several years ago. One had been a “companion,” one had been a “pet.” They would know exactly the kind of care Edrissa would need. She’d be safe, for perhaps the first time in her life.

Gavin assumed the rest of the team would head south when they were ready. He’d heard Tori talk about possibly starting a safehouse up here, but he doubted she would follow through. Not that he didn’t think she could do it; he’d just seen how Tori was with Vera. How they touched each other whenever they could. How they would position themselves protectively in front of the other when one of them suddenly couldn’t breathe. How they shared a bed. How sometimes at night Gavin could hear the noises they made in bed together.

It all made him burn with longing.

I’m never going to find anything like that, he thought to himself fiercely. There’s no one who could ever feel that way for me, not after what I’ve done. No one I would want in return, anyway.

He tried to return his attention to the line he’d been reading for the past 20 minutes. It was a book Gray had brought him from town, something about recovery from trauma. The others need this more than I do. I haven’t been traumatized. At least, not by anyone but Vera. He sighed.

The front door opened. That’s weird. I didn’t expect anyone back for hours. “My room,” he called.

He’d gotten into the habit of announcing himself when there was a possibility of someone happening across them when they were by themselves. He figured it made them feel safer, knowing where he was. And it didn’t hurt so much when they walked in knowing he was there, and didn’t jump and look at him like he was something under their shoe.

It was really only Ellis who did that anymore, and even then it wasn’t as often.

Someone came into the house so quietly Gavin thought they might have been doing it on purpose. Why would they be sneaking around? They know I know someone’s home. He looked up at his doorway, his head slightly tilted, trying to listen. It sounded like at least two people were home, but they weren’t talking to each other.

The hair on the back of Gavin’s neck stood up.

“Guys?” he called, putting the book down on his bedspread. “Gray? Isaac, is that you?” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stood. Whoever it was, they were in the hall now. Coming towards his room. His heart felt like it was stuck in his throat. “Sam?” He walked slowly to the door.

He looked through the doorway and into the hall. His eyes went wide as his gaze fell on a dark figure, tall, massive. Someone he didn’t recognize. He fell a step back into his room.

Hands closed on his shirt and dragged him from his room, slammed him against the wall in the hallway. Gavin cried out as his head cracked hard against the wall.

“No no no no…” he pleaded. A heavy hand clamped over his mouth as the man dragged him into the living room. Gavin screamed against his hand as the man wrenched one arm behind his back. He looked around, terrified, at another man, dressed in black just like the first. A gun was holstered at his hip. He looked down at Gavin with pure hate in his eyes.

The man holding Gavin threw him to his knees and he hit the ground hard. He groaned and tried to scramble to his feet, his shoulder throbbing. “No,” he sobbed. “Please no, no…”

A slap rocked his head to the side and he fell to the floor, his head spinning. He tasted blood and realized he’d bit his tongue.

“Shut up, you syndicate fucker,” the taller one, the one who had grabbed Gavin, snarled.

“No no no please, I didn’t… no, please…” Gavin sobbed. He tried to crawl away from the men, tried to get to the couch, just to put a few feet between him and them. A hand grasped his hair and yanked him backwards, back to his knees. He cried out, his hands coming up to pull against the hand in his hair.

“Let’s just fucking do it and get it over with,” the shorter one growled. “I’m fucking tired of this piece of shit breathing.”

“No,” the taller said from above Gavin’s head. “I finally fucking have the chance to get a little bit of justice for Steph. No fucking way I’m giving up on that.”

“I…” Gavin gasped. “I never knew a Steph…”

“Shut up,” the taller one roared. He yanked Gavin’s head back viciously, so Gavin was forced to look up at him. “Shut the fuck up, you syndicate prick, your fucking father slaughtered her for fun. And you used to do the same fucking thing. Sounds like Stormbeck senior is fucking worm food right now. I don’t mind you standing in for him, you little bitch.”

“Please,” Gavin sobbed. “Please, no.”

The man released his hair. “Put your hands behind your back, Stormbeck.”

“No.” Gavin pitched forward on his hands and knees again, trying desperately to escape the two men. The shorter one aimed a kick at Gavin’s stomach that pitched him onto his side. Gavin shuddered and wheezed.

The taller man yanked Gavin up to his knees and pulled one arm behind his back again. He forced Gavin’s arm up higher, until his hand was nearly pressed against his opposite shoulder. Gavin screamed.

“Put your other hand behind your back or I break this one off,” the man growled in his ear.

Gavin wailed as the man jerked his arm back harder. “Okay okay okay!” he yelled. “Please…” He put his other hand behind his back. He sobbed in relief as the man stopped wrenching his shoulder. He whimpered as the man held both his wrists in one hand and slid a zip tie restraint over his hands. The man pulled it tight around Gavin’s wrists and stood up again, walking around to Gavin’s front. Gavin twisted his wrists against the restraint, his heart pumping despair through his body. They’re going to kill me. The family won’t even know what happened.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin moaned. “I’m… I’m fucking sorry my dad did that to Steph, I’m sorry I—” He gasped as his head snapped to the side with another blow. His left ear rang.

“You don’t get to say her name,” the tall man snarled, suddenly kneeling in Gavin’s face. “You don’t get to fucking say her name, you syndicate bitch. You thought you could spend your whole life torturing people, hurting people, and it wouldn’t come back on you? You thought you could ruin lives and it would never come back on you?”

Gavin sobbed, tears streaming down his face. “No,” he whined. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

The man stood and snorted at his partner. “He’s sorry,” he said with a snarl.

The shorter man’s lip curled. “The idea of playing with him for a bit is sounding better and better. Schiester said they wouldn’t be back for hours.”

“I fucking told you,” the taller one said, and drew his gun from its holster.

“No!” Gavin screamed, shaking his head, scrambling backwards on his knees. “No, please!”

“We should zip tie those feet, too,” the smaller one mused. The taller man laughed and stepped back around Gavin.

Gavin lurched forward, trying desperately to get to his feet before these men could restrain him further. The taller man’s hand closed on Gavin’s hair and pulled him back down hard onto his knees. The man pressed his knee against the top of Gavin’s calf, right where it meets the knee, and leaned. Gavin froze and cried out in agony. The man made quick work of tightening the zip tie around Gavin’s ankles.

Gavin knelt on the floor as the other man got to his feet, shivering, sobbing. Tears dripped down his face and onto the floor. They have hours to torture me before they kill me.

“So,” the taller man said, drawing his gun again, “How do you want to die, syndicate bitch?”

“P-please,” Gavin whispered, his throat too constricted with fear to make a sound. “Please, no…”

The taller man held the gun to Gavin’s forehead. Gavin cried out and pulled away from the gun. The man’s hand shot out and grabbed his hair, dragging him forward until the gun was pressed against Gavin’s head. “You wanna die like this?”

“N-no,” Gavin moaned. They’re going to have to clean my brains off the walls. “No, don’t… don’t do this…”

The man laughed and tapped the gun against Gavin’s head. “Hm.” He moved the gun to press against Gavin’s cheek. “How about this?”

Gavin trembled against the man’s iron grip on his hair. “Please just… t-take me outside. Please. Don’t make them see this, please… Don’t make them see this in their own home…” The last thing they need to see is more death. “Don’t get my b-blood all over the…” Gavin rocked forward, gagging hard at the thought of his blood running in rivulets across the floor in the hallway, soaking into the carpet in the living room and the pad underneath, ruining it forever. Thinking of the family finding his body, cold, empty, the room so full of the stench of blood it would never come out.

The taller man grinned. “What do you wanna bet I can make this look like you did this to yourself? What do you wanna bet I can make this look like your suicide?”

Gavin yanked hard against the zip tie around his wrists. They might stage this like a suicide, maybe even put the gun in his limp hand after they’d killed him, but his family would see the red around his wrists and know. They have to know I wouldn’t kill myself. He didn’t know why that was so important, but they had to know. They had to know that he…

Tears pricked his eyes and he swallowed. They had to know he wouldn’t leave them, that he still wanted to live. That he wanted to be with them, as miserable as it was. I love them. I love them all so fucking much, why did it take me so fucking long to say it, I love them…

Gavin yanked harder. He felt the skin around his wrists break open and bleed.

The taller man pulled the gun away from Gavin’s cheek and smiled wickedly.

“Open your mouth, syndicate bitch.”

Gavin sobbed and tried to twist away from the hand in his hair. The man only tightened his grip and forced Gavin’s head forward. “Open your mouth,” the man growled at him. “Do it. Now. Or I blow your fucking head off right now.”

Gavin clenched his jaw shut and pressed his lips together. He shook his head against the man’s grip, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes fixed on the gun hovering inches away from his face.

The man snapped Gavin’s head back, shoving the barrel of the gun against Gavin’s forehead. “You really wanna die right this second? Let us play with you, you little bitch. Stormbeck fucker. The longer you let us play with you, the better chance they’ll come and save you, right? Your stupid fucking traitor family. You want that, right? Open your fucking mouth.”

They’re not going to save me. They’re going to find my body, and forget about me. Why would they risk themselves to save me? Even if they caught you, they’d just stand back and watch me die. He blinked tears out of his eyes and did his best to stare the man down.

The man ground the barrel of the gun into Gavin’s cheek, and he winced. The man’s finger was on the trigger. The safety was off. “Open. Your. Fucking. Mouth.”

Gavin shuddered at the thought of the bullet in the chamber, inches from his face. All the man had to do was pull the trigger, and the bullet would tear through Gavin’s skull at 2500 feet per second. It would obliterate his brain, tear up everything that had ever made Gavin Gavin. He wouldn’t just be dead, he’d be destroyed. All in less than a second. He squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see the gun.

He whimpered and opened his mouth.

The gun pushed past his lips, pressing down over his tongue, shoving all the way to the back of his throat. Gavin’s eyes flew open and he gagged.

“That’s what I fucking thought, Stormbeck bitch,” the man growled. “That’s what I fucking thought. Fucking coward. Fucking piece of shit.”

Gavin sobbed, the steel-oil-gunpowder taste on his tongue making him sick. The man grabbed the back of Gavin’s head and forced the gun harder into his mouth. Gavin’s eyes streamed as he gagged again, his spasming throat twisting a sob as it forced its way out. He shuddered and heaved forward. He couldn’t beg with the gun in his mouth. Couldn’t plead. He could only cry, and choke.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you like this,” the man rasped in his ear. Gavin cried out and shied away. The man’s grip tightened on his hair. “I’m gonna pull this trigger and kill you. How many people have you killed, little bitch? How many people have you killed? Now, I’m gonna bring that shit right to you. You’re finally gonna know what it feels like to die.”

I bet it hurts, Gavin sobbed in his mind. He tried to form the word “please” around the gun. He gagged again as his tongue pressed up against the barrel.

“Maybe I shouldn’t kill you just yet though, yeah? What if I just fucking cut you apart, piece by piece? That way when your fucking family comes home, they have to go on a little Stormbeck treasure hunt. Maybe your hand between the couch cushions, your ear in the shower…” The man chuckled. “Your dick hanging on the front door.” He snapped the gun up against Gavin’s teeth. “Maybe I should put your head on a spike outside.”

Gavin squeezed his eyes shut. Please, please no. Please just kill me. I know I deserve the torture but please no…

“Maybe I shouldn’t kill you here at all,” the man mused, his gaze moving over Gavin’s face, over his eyes. “Maybe I should just drag you to the square and hang you, properly. Maybe we could do it slowly.”

“Maybe we should just send him piece by piece to his darling mother,” the shorter man sneered. “I’m stuck on the dismembering idea.”

Gavin wailed around the gun in his mouth, tugging hard against the zip tie around his wrists, pulling against the hand fisted in his hair.

“Or maybe,” the taller man said softly, and eased the gun a centimeter out of Gavin’s mouth, “We just take you back to the town hall. Chain you up in the basement. Keep you there for a month or three. Your family would never fucking know where to find you. Maybe we should just keep you like the fucking bitch you are, see exactly how you like it.”

Gavin shook his head slightly. The man forced his head back and pushed the gun all the way into his mouth.

“Naw,” the man said, his finger tightening on the trigger. “I think I’m just gonna do this here.”

Gavin closed his eyes.

The front door opened.

Gavin’s eyes flew open, and he moaned in despair as Isaac walked through the door.

Isaac’s eyes went wide and his hand jumped to his waistband. To the gun Gavin knew wasn’t there, because Isaac never carried his gun inside. Isaac fell a step back, his eyes fixed on Gavin. Not looking away.

“Sam!” Isaac shouted. “Gun! Now!”

The shorter man snapped his own gun up to point squarely at Isaac’s chest. “Back the fuck off,” he grunted. “Back off right now. Turn around and go.”

Gavin whined and pulled against the hand in his hair, trying to plead with Isaac and hating himself for it.

Isaac slowly raised his hands to waist level, but no higher. He hadn’t looked away from Gavin since he’d opened the door, but now he raised his gaze to the gun in the shorter man’s hand. “I want you to think about what you’re about to do,” he said gently. “If you kill me, you permanently damage the north. My family will never work with you again. They’ll stop bringing your families to you. They’ll stop bringing you skilled laborers. They’ll stop risking their lives to harbor your spies, move your equipment. You kill me, and you cripple your operations up here. You kill me, and you’re fucked. Do you understand that?”

“But this bitch—” started the man with the gun in Gavin’s mouth—

Ellis burst through the door behind Isaac. Gavin flinched as the door slammed against the wall and nearly closed again. Ellis’s jaw dropped, their gaze darting between Gavin, the man holding him with the gun in his mouth, and the man pointing the gun at Isaac’s chest.

“What the… fuck…”

Isaac pushed Ellis behind him. “Ellis, get back,” he said urgently. “Get back. Tell everyone to stay back.”

Sam walked in just behind them, holding Isaac’s gun out. “Isaac, what—” Their eyes went wide at the sight of the men. Their hand began to shake and they nearly dropped the gun. Isaac’s hand shot out and snatched it away from Sam, then aimed at the shorter man.

“Sam, get back,” Isaac said, his voice taking on a hint of desperation. “Please…”

“Isaac, what…? Gavin…?” Sam stood frozen in place.

Isaac pushed Sam behind him with one hand while the other kept the gun pointed squarely at the men. “Ellis,” he said calmly, “Is the other car here yet?”

Ellis shot a glance out the front window. “They’re just pulling up.”

Isaac swallowed. “Go tell them to stay outside. Please. Go tell them—”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Ellis snarled at the men, completely ignoring Isaac. Gavin looked up at them in shock. Ellis took a step towards the men. “What the fuck?”

“Stay back,” the shorter one growled. “Stay back, or we blow his fucking head off.”

“No, fuck you,” Ellis snapped. “Fuck you very much.”

“Ellis,” Isaac said through his teeth. “No. Tell the others—”

The door pushed open again, and the rest of the family appeared in the doorway. Vera jumped and dragged Tori away from the door, and dashed off to the car to grab her own weapon. Gray pushed Edrissa behind them and started to guide her back to the car. Finn lunged forward, their hands reaching for Ellis.

“Answer my fucking question,” Ellis snarled, and Gavin shrank back. “What the… what the fuck?”

“What the fuck do you care what happens to this Stormbeck prick?” the smaller man demanded.

The taller man pushed the gun hard into Gavin’s mouth. Gavin felt his upper lip catch between the gun and his teeth. He whimpered and tried to pull away, eyes streaming.

The shorter man’s hand tightened around the gun pointed at Isaac. His hand was shaking. “What the fuck do you care about him? He’s a…” His eyes filled with tears. “He’s a monster.”

Ellis’s eyes blazed with fury. “Yeah, motherfucker, but he’s our monster.” They lunged forward and bowled over the smaller man in a full-body tackle. The gun went off as Ellis slammed the man’s hand into the ground, shrieking like a wildcat. Sam leapt into the fray, landing squarely on the man’s crotch with all their weight. The man groaned and doubled over.

Vera burst through the door again, her gun held tightly in her hand. Her eyes went wide at the screaming, clawing fright that was Ellis, screeching and biting, and Sam, wrestling the gun out of the man’s grasp.

The man still holding Gavin looked between Isaac and Vera, his eyes darting quickly, his hand tightening in Gavin’s hair. Gavin could feel him trembling. He waited for the gun to go off, to tear through his mouth, punch through his brainstem so there would be no hope of survival. Gavin whimpered.

“Think very carefully about what you decide to do next,” Isaac said, raising his voice over the sound of Ellis screaming. “If you kill him, it’s gonna take you a few seconds to bring your gun around to aim at us. I have a very fast reaction time. Kinda twitchy. Must be the trauma.” His eyes flicked down at Gavin and for a moment, Gavin could swear Isaac smiled. He whimpered as the man pushed the gun down hard against his tongue.

“Hey,” Isaac barked, and the man jumped. “If you’re cool with dying over this, fine. Just know that if you shoot him, you’re dying in this house today.” Isaac raised his chin at the other man, now groaning and sobbing, holding his crotch as Ellis and Sam kicked him over and over. “We’ll even let that one go, for good measure. Take the gun out of his mouth. Right now.”

“No,” the man growled. He yanked Gavin’s head back until Gavin was staring at the ceiling. Tears ran from his eyes and into his hair. “This fucker destroyed everything I love—”

“What is actually him, or someone else in the syndicates that this poor idiot is standing in for?” Isaac said calmly. “Because I understand if it was him. If it was, we can work something out. Some kind of justice.” Gavin’s eyes went wide and he looked at Isaac, just as the man looked down at him. Isaac shook his head slightly from side to side: I won’t let him do that. Gavin sobbed.

“Or,” Isaac continued, “you kill the one useful syndicate member alive in this world just because you wanted to stick your gun in something. And then you leave this house in a body bag. Up to you.”

The man stared down at Gavin, hate twisting his face into something terrifying. His hand shook around the gun. He forced Gavin’s head back further, until Gavin started to bend backwards. He whimpered and gagged against the gun.

“Come on, man,” Isaac said, pitching his voice low. “Up to you. Put down the gun. Let him go.”

The man trembled, and for a moment Gavin was sure the man would kill him. He braced for the shot, tried to think of something good in his last moments. He shuddered, looked past the hand holding the gun in his mouth.

All Gavin could see was Isaac.

The man hunched his shoulders and bowed his head. He forced down a sob. “Fine,” he growled, and pulled the gun from Gavin’s mouth.

Gavin pitched forward with a sob, his jaw aching. Isaac moved in quickly and twisted the gun out the man’s hand. Vera jumped in to roll the other man onto his stomach and lean on his back.

“You have something to restrain yourself with?” Isaac asked the man, his voice intense.

“What the fuck, you said—”

“I’m not gonna kill you, you idiot,” Isaac spat through his teeth. “I’m gonna restrain you and drive you back into town. Then I’m gonna have a long fucking conversation with your mayor about exactly what the word “hospitality” means. Got it? Do you have any extra restraints?”

“Y-yeah,” the man stuttered. “Zip ties, left pocket.”

“Perfect.” Isaac stuffed his hand in the man’s pocket, still holding him at gunpoint. “Hands behind your back. Now.”

“But—”

“I will make this very fucking simple if you don’t do what I fucking say,” Isaac hissed. “Hands. Behind. Your back. Now.”

Gavin swallowed hard as the man obeyed Isaac. Isaac tightened the zip tie around the man’s wrists, his eyes fixed on Gavin. Moving over him. Checking for injuries. Gavin felt his skin burn under Isaac’s gaze.

Isaac turned his gaze back to the man and dug his hand into his pocket again, pulling out another zip tie. “Here,” he said, holding it out to Vera. He looked up to see Finn still standing in the doorway, their mouth slightly open, a look of amazement on their face. Staring at Ellis where they now stood, towering over the shorter man on the floor. Vera tightened the zip tie around the man’s wrists as he groaned.

“Finn,” Isaac said, and snapped Finn out of their reverie. “Can you handle this one? Get him to the car?”

“You bet.” Finn grinned, stepping forward to pat the man down before jerking him to his feet with a hand clamped down on his collar. “You fucked with the wrong family, moron. We’ve got people who are fucking feral.” They smirked in his face and shoved him through the front door. The second man came next, supported between Vera and Ellis, who were not being gentle. Sam panted on the floor, their skin red and shiny with sweat, a wide grin spread across their face.

Isaac quickly knelt beside Gavin and put a steadying hand on his shoulder. He grabbed the knife in his pocket and reached for Gavin’s wrists. The zip tie snapped under the knife.

“Isaac,” Gavin sobbed, and threw his arms around Isaac’s neck.

Isaac froze for a moment. Took a breath. His arms wound around Gavin’s waist.

“Isaac, thank you,” Gavin gasped, his breaths coming too fast. “Isaac, they… he was… fuck, I’m so sorry…”

Isaac squeezed Gavin gently. “Why are you sorry? They…” Isaac pulled away, his eyes moving once again over Gavin’s body. His gaze returned to Gavin’s face, to the red mark that probably spread across his cheek. “They… they tortured you, right?”

“N-no,” Gavin mumbled. “It was nothing. It wasn’t a big deal. They only—”

“Gavin…” Isaac said gently. Gavin’s heart lurched uncomfortably. “They tortured you. It’s okay. You’re allowed to say it.” He leaned down and cut the zip tie binding Gavin’s ankles.

Gavin let out a twisted sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. He pressed his hands to his face. “Why…” He shuddered, and his chest ached as he heaved a real sob. “Why did you save me? He could’ve just… fucking… killed me, and it would’ve been over…”

“I didn’t want to get blood on the carpet,” came Isaac’s reply.

Gavin’s head shot up and he met Isaac’s gaze. Isaac was smiling gently. “Kidding. Because… fuck, Gavin, it’s fucking weird but you’re with us now. No one fucks with you but us. No one murders you but us.”

Gavin flinched.

Isaac’s face fell. “Okay, that was maybe in bad taste.” He stood and held a hand out for Gavin. Gavin took it and painfully got to his feet. His hand felt cold when Isaac let go. “I want you to stay here with Finn while we handle this mess.” He waved his hand in the general direction of the cars. “Maybe we’ll leave Vera here, too. Just to be safe.” He took a step towards the door. “Does that sound okay? Will you be okay until we all get back? Gray and Edrissa will be here, too.”

“I-Isaac…” Gavin’s tongue felt too big for his mouth. Isaac just saved me. I don’t know if Vera would be willing to do the same. “Vera, um… she…” He wrapped his arms around his stomach and winced. “Could you… I mean, could you… please…?”

Isaac stared at Gavin. “Could I… what?”

“Um.” Gavin swallowed. “Could you be the one to, um, stay?” His cheeks burned with humiliation.

Isaac chewed his lip as he regarded Gavin. After a moment he said, “Sure. I can stay. Just let me check with Vera and Gray and send in Finn, okay?” He touched Gavin’s shoulder for a moment before he seemed to think better of it, and then pulled his hand away. “Will you be okay for just a second?”

“Yeah,” Gavin breathed, swaying where he stood. “I’ll be, I’ll be fine.” He watched Isaac as he turned and jogged out the door.

Continued here

100 notes · View notes

whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 40

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: mention of death threats, mention of staged suicide, blood (imagined)

Gavin winced as Finn pushed against his abdomen. Isaac looked on, his gaze unfocused and far away. Gray and Edrissa were gone, out on a walk to calm Edrissa down after the others had taken the men back to town.

“Sorry,” Finn mumbled. They adjusted their hands and pushed again. “Deep breath.”

Gavin breathed in, doing his best to hold his face in a neutral expression. His stomach hurt. Under the pain, though, was a heavy, warm awareness that Gavin hadn’t been touched in a way that felt good since he’d left his home and his birthright. Almost everything since then had been pain, torture. Up to this point, no one had touched him without the intention to do him harm…

No one except Sam, when Gavin had been beaten. And Gray and Sam together, at the funeral.

And Isaac, when he’d let Gavin hug him. Gavin’s throat tightened.

Finn watched his face carefully as they pressed in. “That hurt?”

“Um.” Gavin cleared his throat. “A little.”

“Where exactly did he kick you?”

Gavin leaned back and placed his hand on the left side of his stomach. Finn pulled up Gavin’s shirt.

“Hm. Not much bruising, that’s good.”

“Um.” Gavin ducked his head. “It’s fine.”

Finn laughed gently. “There are only a few important things on that side. But if you’re still okay in a few hours, you’re probably in the clear.” Finn held Gavin’s wrists up to inspect the torn skin. “This I can do something about.”

Finn pulled their bag closer. Isaac stood back with his arms crossed over his chest, watching Finn out of the corner of his eye. After a moment he dropped his arms and started pacing the living room.

“Isaac,” Finn said gently as they pulled some ointment out of their bag, “Stop pacing.”

“I’m not…” Isaac sighed. “Fine.” He plopped down on the couch on the opposite end from Gavin. “What’s the verdict, doc?”

Finn smirked. “He probably doesn’t have a busted pancreas, but that’s really all I can tell with the tools I have. These—” They held up one of Gavin’s wrists as they smeared the ointment on. “—will be fine.”

“Good.” Isaac pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. Gavin’s heart skipped a beat.

“Wh-what does this mean?” Gavin asked, his voice strained tight with pain as Finn gently wrapped Gavin’s wrist with gauze. “What do we do now?”

Isaac sighed. “Well, we obviously can’t leave you alone again. My bigger concern is that they knew we were all gone. They were watching the house.”

Gavin swallowed hard. “They said they knew you wouldn’t be back for hours. Why did you… um… come back?”

“I forgot the store we wanted to go to would be closed today, so we just decided to scrap the day and come back early. I’m fucking glad we did.”

“Um. Me, me too.” Gavin hissed as Finn slathered the ointment on his other wrist.

“Oh, hush,” Finn said gently. “You’re fine.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Gavin mumbled. Finn glanced up at him with a hint of a smile.

“This definitely means we have to move our timetable up,” Isaac said, passing a hand over his face. “I thought we’d have more time to prepare, but the sooner we leave, the better for you.” He met Gavin’s eyes.

“Do you mean we… um… Am I coming with you?” A lump rose in Gavin’s throat.

Isaac blew out a slow breath. “I’m not sure what other options we have. You can’t stay here. They’d kill you within a day. And you can’t go further north. I have a feeling your name would follow you there, too, no matter how hard you try to keep it a secret.” Isaac rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at Gavin apologetically. “I can’t ask you to run missions against your family. I don’t know if I can… trust you to do that. I wouldn’t trust me.”

“You can trust me,” Gavin murmured. “They’re not my family anymore.”

Isaac looked at Gavin steadily as Finn wrapped his other wrist. “You’re still a Stormbeck, Gavin.”

Gavin looked at the floor. “But I don’t… don’t want to be. Everything they— we are is… is bad. I’m exactly who those men said I was.” Gavin glanced up and caught Finn and Isaac sharing a look.

Isaac wet his lips. “Not… not anymore… right?”

Gavin shook his head. “I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be those things. I’m still a Stormbeck, but they’re not my family.”

Isaac narrowed his eyes. “Who is, then?” He looked at Gavin like he already knew the answer.

Gavin swallowed and awkwardly met Finn’s gaze as they finished tying the bandage. Gavin licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. “I…” he whimpered helplessly.

“Gavin…” Isaac’s gentle tone belied the command hidden in the word.

“I didn’t really know before they, um…” Gavin mumbled at the floor. “I didn’t know. I mean, I did, but I didn’t know how much I…” He shivered. “I don’t have to be your family. But I want… um, was hoping… you… could be mine.” His cheeks burned as he looked up and met Finn and Isaac’s eyes in turn.

Finn’s mouth fell open. “I…”

“It’s okay,” Gavin said quickly. “It’s okay if you don’t want me. I understand. I do. I’ve done… fucking awful things to all of you. But you, um, you gave me another chance. You l-let me live, you let me… be a part of you. You, um, saved me, when they were going to hang me. And I kn-know it’s been hard with me around, because I, um… I remind you of, of things… But you let me stay anyway. You, um, care. I… I thought I was going to die. He, um… he told me he was going to, um, kill me and make it look like a suicide. And I just… I thought…” Gavin’s eyes filled with tears and he shoved his face into his hands, mortified. “I just thought, I wanted to tell you all that I…” He choked off the word and his mouth shut with a click.

“Wanted to tell us what?” Finn said gently. Gavin looked up and Finn reached out to touch him, then pulled back.

“Um.” Gavin shook his head. “It’s not important. Thanks for cleaning me up, Finn. I, um, appreciate it.” Gavin pushed himself up off the couch and went to leave the room.

“Whatever it is, it was something so important you thought about it as you thought you were going to die,” Isaac said to Gavin’s back. “May as well share. I just had a gun pointed at me for you, I figure we’re in too deep here to give a shit about you being embarrassed now.”

Gavin paused. He turned and looked back at Isaac, standing in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed, and Finn, looking after him with something like concern in their eyes. Gavin swallowed reflexively, his stomach churning with fear as his chest ached with the feeling he’d had before. He loved them all, even Ellis. Ellis had launched themselves at someone with a loaded gun for him. Sam had risked being shot jumping into that fight, too. And Isaac was right; he could’ve caught a bullet in the chest, for Gavin. Isaac could have died, for Gavin.

Is there no one he wouldn’t protect?

Gavin licked his lips. I might not have the chance to tell them again, if the people up here are willing to watch the house and send people to kill me. His cheeks burned. And I’m not afraid of Isaac killing me anymore. “Um. I… I guess… I guess I just realized I, um, wanted you to be my family. And that I, um… l-love you all.”

Isaac’s eyes went wide, just as Finn’s cheeks flushed a bright red. “But…” Finn murmured. “I thought…”

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered, and turned to go. “I’m s-sorry…”

“Wait.”

Gavin froze at the tone in Isaac’s voice.

“I…” Finn breathed. “You’re d-different. I knew you were different, I knew you were getting better, but… you love us?”

“Don’t tell Vera,” Gavin said quickly, his voice shaking.

Isaac burst out laughing. Gavin jumped and grimaced at him. “What’s so fucking funny?”

Isaac pressed his lips together, a smile on his face. “I’m sorry. That was rude. But you… you almost died, you almost got your fucking head blown off and you don’t want me to tell Vera that you… you love us?”

“She’ll kill me,” Gavin whispered. “She’ll, um, she’ll kill me for saying that.”

Isaac’s lips quirked up. “Why do you think that?”

“Because she, um…” Gavin wrapped his arms around himself and winced. “She just will. I know she will. She’ll k-kill me, she’ll think I’m lying…”

“Are you lying?” Isaac asked, a strange edge to his voice.

“No!” Gavin took a step forward. “I swear to god, I’m not. I swear. When that man put the, um, gun…” Gavin shuddered. “I thought I was going to die. And I wanted you all to know that I, um, love you. And…” He turned his gaze to Isaac. “And…” Your face was the last thing I wanted to see as he killed me. “And I wanted to, um, see you all again.”

“Why?” Finn breathed.

Gavin whimpered, humiliation and fear making him shiver. “B-because… you’re good. You’re all so good. And you, um, you love each other. No matter what. No matter how, um, broken you get. You love each other. And, um, fix each other. And I… I’ve never had that.”

A look passed between Isaac and Finn, almost like a confirmation. Gavin pressed on.

“I, um, I watch you with each other. You’re so kind and you… you don’t take from each other. You give. You, um, protect.” He flicked his gaze to Isaac. “And I, um…” Raw pain welled up in his chest. “And I… I’ve never had that before. I want to feel something good. I… I want love that doesn’t hurt.”

He bit his lip as he looked back up to Finn and Isaac. His stomach dropped as, for a moment, an image flashed across his mind: Isaac, choking on the floor, bleeding, dying, because of Gavin. Isaac, gasping around the hole in his chest, drenched in his down blood. For Gavin. Isaac could have died today, because of Gavin.

Gavin drew in a shuddering gasp. He turned to leave, and didn’t look back to see Isaac and Finn’s reaction.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #field medicine #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #touch starved Gavin #gavin whump #death threats tw #love confession #not in the way you think #suicide mention tw #Finn plays doctor 😂#Isaac/Gavin #blood (imagined) tw #my oc: Gavin

91 notes · View notes

whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 46

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: mention of parent killing an adult child, mention of parental abuse, death mention, noncon mention (that didn’t happen)

Isaac scrubbed his face with his hands as he looked down at the map of the eastern sector of New Trisland. He felt like he was going cross-eyed from the hours he’d spent poring over the hundreds of miles of road between them and Colleen’s headquarters. The seat of the Stormbeck power. They all knew there was no other target for them. While Colleen lived, she posed a threat to the family.

“I think if we take 87 south, we could bypass the checkpoints in Brookdale and make it to her house in… two days? If we hurry?” Vera’s brow furrowed as she followed the highway with her finger. “It would take us through Porter, but—”

“Daniel’s people say the Wilsons have moved people into Porter,” Gray said quietly, pinching the bridge of their nose. “There’s no way we could get through there undetected.”

“Maybe we forget about being undetected,” Vera said, a hint of irritation in her voice. “Who gives a shit if we take down a few syndicate members? We’ve never been shy about doing that.”

Gray drew in a deep breath. “The only advantage we have, the only advantage, is the element of surprise. We have to assume she knows we’ve reached the north, if she tracked us all the way to the turnpike. Where else would we be headed?”

“Kind of weird she hasn’t sent her army up to grab us,” Isaac interjected. “It’s not like she doesn’t have the people.”

Vera bit her nail as her eyes moved over the map. “She might as well assume we have Gavin, too, if we’re assuming she thinks we’ve made it north.” Vera shrugged. “She might be unwilling to get us if she thinks we’ll kill Stormbeck Junior. She wouldn’t want us to kill him.”

“She would.”

Vera, Gray, and Isaac jumped and looked to the doorway of the kitchen, where Gavin leaned against the wall. He met Isaac’s gaze for a split second before looking down again, blushing. Isaac’s cheeks blazed.

“She, um.” Gavin took a step closer to the map. “She wants you to kill me. She has this whole time. That’s why I left.”

“Gavin…” Vera’s voice was heavy with skepticism. “I don’t—”

“She wants you to kill me,” Gavin said with finality.

Vera bit her lip. “Gavin…”

“I want you to think about who I am for a second,” Gavin said, meeting Vera’s eyes. “Remember who I… who I was. What I did. Some of that I got from my father.”

Vera winced.

Gavin drew in a slow breath. “I got some of that from my mother, too. My mother wants me dead for getting my father killed. My father always wanted what she wanted. They understood each other. But me…” Gavin laughed bitterly. “I put a toe out of line. I wasn’t her son anymore.” Gavin’s mouth twisted as his eyes filled with tears. Isaac’s heart clenched. “I didn’t want torture anymore. I didn’t want that life. And with my mother there is no life but the life she lives. Okay?”

Vera nodded.

“Tell us more, Gavin,” Gray said softly. Isaac met their eyes. Probing for information about Colleen, yes. But Gray also cared. Gray wanted Gavin to heal, too.

Gavin walked to the kitchen island that was completely covered by the map. He wrapped his arms around his chest. “Um…” He sniffed. “My mom thinks… She thinks we own the world because we… I don’t know, we deserve it or something. All the syndicates, but especially ours. It’s like…” He shrugged. “It’s like… she thinks it’s our divine right. Like we were born to rule, or something. I was part of a, um…” He flushed and ducked his head. “A bloodline, fit to rule. My mom said a lot of crazy shit like that growing up. And then… I turned my back on it. I decided I didn’t want that. And that was, um… unacceptable. I’m either with her, or the enemy. Now I guess that means I’m the enemy.” Gavin ducked his head, looking like he was finished.

“But you found a new side,” Vera said softly. She gasped and snapped her mouth closed.

Gavin looked down shyly. “Um. Y-yeah. I did.” He raised his eyes to Isaac, his mouth curving up momentarily into a smile.

Isaac’s stomach dropped and he cleared his throat. “Gavin… how willing would to be to help us with our plans?”

Gavin’s gaze moved slowly over the map. “I don’t know the most recent movements. But I—”

“We’ll tell you,” Gray interrupted.

Gavin nodded, biting his lip, not taking his eyes off the map. He leaned in and put his finger on a small town a half-day south of Crayton. “Here. Bartram Springs. It’s a city w-we—” He swallowed and raised his eyes apologetically to Gray. “Is it okay if I, um… if I talk about Stormbeck holdings like they’re… like they’re not mine? I don’t…” Again, his eyes flicked to Isaac, and back to Gray. He wet his lips. “I don’t want to talk like my family is still the, um… the Stormbecks.”

“Who else would your family be?” Vera asked, a hard edge to her voice, but her gaze was soft as she looked across the table at Gavin.

Gavin blanched and fell a step back from the group. “Oh, fuck,” he breathed.

Vera’s face darkened and she leaned over the island, the fear Isaac could see in her tense shoulders and fists falling behind a wall of rage. Isaac glanced quickly between them, as Vera’s lip curled into a predatory snarl, and Gavin fell back another step, shaking, eyes wide, looking for all the world like prey.

“Whoa, Vera… hang on a sec,” Isaac said quietly, holding his hands out to her like he would stop her, taking a step back to give himself space to lunge between them if need be. “Vera, wait—”

“What is he so afraid that he just gave away?” she hissed.

“Vera, please,” Gavin whimpered.

“I know for a fact that it’s not whatever you’re thinking of,” Isaac said, his voice taking on a harder edge. “Vera, I need you to just listen for five seconds before you decide to kill him, okay?”

Vera’s jaw clenched, but she tore her gaze away from Gavin to look at Isaac. “Explain to me why he looks like that.”

“I knew you’d kill me,” Gavin whispered.

“Gavin, shut up,” Isaac ground out between his teeth.

“Isaac, what’s going on?” Gray said gently. They reached a hand out to Vera and paused a few inches from her skin, like it was going to burn them.

“Um…” Isaac looked at Gavin where he stood cowering in the middle of the kitchen, eyes fixed on Vera like he was expecting her to leap across the island and kill him right there. “He…” Isaac swallowed hard. Might as well just get it out and worry about the shitstorm later. “Gavin wants to be part of our family.”

Vera froze, her eyes darting between Gavin and Isaac. “What?” she breathed.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whimpered.

“For fuck’s sake, Gavin, shut up,” Isaac snapped.

“No, let him talk,” Vera said, glaring at Gavin. “I wanna know why he reacted to spilling that like he’d just accidently mentioned he was planning on selling us out when we get south.”

“No,” Gavin gasped. “I wouldn’t—” He trembled and stumbled another step back. His eyes darted between Isaac and Vera. “I’m s-sorry, Vera, I…” He flushed red and collapsed into himself, staring miserably at the floor. “I didn’t want to tell you b-because… I…” He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Gavin,” Gray said gently. “When Isaac says you want to be part of our family, what does that mean?”

“Um…” Gavin lifted his gaze to Gray, looking like a man clinging to a life raft in the middle of the ocean. “I, um…” He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “I, uh, didn’t really know until… uh… yesterday… when the men…” Gavin shuddered and opened his eyes. “But spending all this time with you, you’ve all been so k-kind, and good, and, um…” He raised his gaze to Gray. “I want in. I want that. I want the, uh… the love you have. I’ve never seen that before. I didn’t know people could… um… love each other like that. How you protect each other…” Tears stood in Gavin’s eyes. “I want to feel that, too. There’s something in me that’s missing, and…” He looked to Vera. “I w-want something like what you have with Tori, or…” He gestured to Isaac and Vera both. “…what you have with each other, or, Isaac, what you have with Sam…” He turned to Gray, tears running down his cheeks. “I want what you’ve given me. I want to be, um, safe. I want to be protected. And I want to protect you. I’ll tell you everything I know about the syndicates. I’ll do everything I can to get you through. To fight them.”

Vera stared at Gavin with an open mouth.

Gavin’s gaze returned to Vera. “I’m learning. Please, I don’t know… how to do this, exactly, but I want to be in your family. Please. Just… tell me how to do it. Please don’t kill me. I… I’m sorry.” He bit his lip, his throat bobbing as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Isaac’s hands shook slightly. “Vera… I know it sounds fucking weird but—”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Vera murmured, her eyes fixed on Gavin.

“Um…” Gavin looked helplessly at the others. “I th-thought you’d kill me for it. I wasn’t trying to, to keep it from you, I swear…”

“Gavin,” Vera said softly. “I’m not… why would I kill you for this?”

“Um…” Gavin’s voice trailed off in the barest hint of a whimper.

Vera blushed and leaned back from the island. “Okay. No, that’s fair actually. Um.” She smoothed her hands through her hair, looking at Gray and Isaac in turn. “What do you… What do you think about this?”

“Um…” Isaac swallowed. “I think it’s, um, fine.” For a moment, Isaac felt the ghost of Gavin’s lips on his. His cheeks burned and he stared at the map in front of him.

“Gray?”

Isaac glanced up at them. They were staring at Gavin with a slight smile on their face, their eyes blazing with something like… triumph. Their smile soft with something like… fondness. “I think it’s great,” Gray said quietly.

Gavin bit his lip and stared tremulously at Vera. Her jaw worked as her gaze moved over the map, unfocused. Finally, she raised her eyes to look at Gavin. Her body no longer trembled with tension. Her shoulders relaxed and she held Gavin’s gaze with a look of overwhelming sadness that made Isaac’s bones ache.

They stared at each other for a moment, the tension in the kitchen falling, being replaced by something much calmer. Something like understanding.

“Gavin,” Vera said, her tone even, “This is more than a family. We put ourselves in situations we might not walk away from, where he have to depend on the other person to keep us safe or pull us out. If you want in with us, really in, you have to know that that’s what it’ll be like. That’s what we give each other. If want that from us, we have to you know we can have that from you, too.”

“I swear,” Gavin whispered. “I… You’ve already risked so much for me. And after I—” Gavin sucked in a breath. “You risked yourselves coming north with me. And Isaac, you—” Gavin and Isaac both blushed at the same time, their eyes flicking to the floor in tandem. Isaac glanced at Gray, who was watching them both intently. “Isaac, you had a fucking gun pointed at you yesterday, for me. When you could have l-let me die.” Gavin swallowed hard. “I don’t want to die. But I want to… to be in this family. I’d rather risk my life with you than have my own mother risk it. I’m sorry I kept this from you, Vera.”

Vera’s expression softened further. “I understand why you did.”

Gavin shook his head and stared at the floor. “I know the others won’t like it. I know that Tori—”

“Tori will come around,” Vera said gently.

Gavin’s head snapped up. “What?”

Vera smiled. “Tori will come around. Trust me.”

“But—”

“She’s been dealing with fucked-up people for a long time. She knows nobody is innocent. She’s housed people before who’ve done terrible things to escape the syndicates.”

“What I did was different,” Gavin murmured.

“You’re right. It was.” Vera shrugged. “It was torture. It was evil. But—”

Gavin flinched. Vera looked up at him, pinned him down with her gaze. “But I know you’ve changed. I can see it. So, if you’re serious… then yeah. We can do that.”

Gavin’s eyes went wide. “What… really?”

Vera glanced at Gray, as if for confirmation. Gray’s gaze pierced Isaac, then Vera. “It’s your decision,” they said quietly. “It’s your team now.”

Isaac swallowed hard and met Vera’s eyes. Isaac could read the look on her face, could read her better than anyone else in the world, except maybe Tori. If he means it… if he really means that he wants to be in our family, to risk his life right alongside us…

I trust him.

Vera’s mouth hardened into a line, and he knew he was mirroring her expression. They held each other’s gaze for another moment. They both nodded together.

“Okay,” Vera said softly. “You’re in the family.”

Gavin let out a gusty breath and crumpled forward, his eyes swimming with tears. “Thank you,” he huffed.

“We’ll tell the others tomorrow. And we’ll leave the day after that.” Vera straightened and turned her gaze back to the map. “Until then, we have to plan our trip south. You know your mo—” Vera pressed her lips together. “You know Colleen Stormbeck is our next target, right?”

Gavin nodded gravely. “Yeah,” he whispered.

Vera sought out Gavin’s gaze and held it. “We won’t kill her if we don’t have to. We just want to cripple her operations. But you have to understand if she poses a threat to the family, she dies. Do you understand that?”

Gavin’s jaw worked and he tore his eyes away from Vera’s gaze. “I understand,” he said softly.

Vera drew in a deep breath. “Are you okay with that?”

Gavin bit his lip, his eyes falling closed. “I know she’s my mom,” he said, pronouncing each word carefully. “I know she’s my f-family. But…” His eyes opened and fixed on Gray this time. “I’m remembering things. Things she used to say, things she used to do… I know she never loved me, okay? She only ever loved me when I was being like… my father. Like her. She didn’t even know I never raped my playthings.”

Vera flinched. Gavin looked at her, an apology heavy in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “But… They never knew I wasn’t like them. If they did…” Gavin shuddered. “If we’d managed to get you and Tori back to the house, and I refused to rape you…” He nodded slowly. “I think my father would have killed me then.”

Vera’s mouth opened, then closed again. She closed her eyes and blew out a slow breath through her nose. When she spoke, her voice shook. “I know he would have,” she rasped.

“Okay.” Gavin took a step closer to the map. “I want to help you. I’ll tell you everything I know. Like I said, I don’t know the most current movements. All my information is at least nine months old. But—”

“Anything you tell us will be helpful,” Gray said, and placed a hand gently on Gavin’s shoulder.

Isaac watched as Gavin relaxed into the touch, his eyes closing in a slow blink before he focused on the map again, studiously keeping his eyes away from Isaac.

I wonder if he’s ever been touched like that before he came to us. I wonder if he only ever touched people when he was hurting them.

Isaac’s stomach bucked as he watched Gavin’s eyes move over the map.

I wonder if we could teach him every way there is to be loved.

His thoughts were interrupted as Gavin drew his finger down a county road that cut through the far west of Stormbeck territory. “Once we get to Bartram Springs, we can take this road down. This line,” Gavin said, his voice deeper, stronger, “Is right on the border of the Stormbeck and Anderson territories. We—” He cleared his throat. “The Stormbecks patrol this area sometimes, and so do the Andersons, but most of the time they stay away from each other. There isn’t much in the area worth negotiating for. That’s your best bet to get you here.” He pointed to a city northwest of Colleen’s headquarters. “Richfield. I know it’s contested, but the Stormbecks will be too busy focusing on the dissenters to look for us.”

Isaac and Vera shared a look.

“From Richfield, we can take the 25 to Broadmoore, as long as they haven’t ID’ed the car. And from Broadmoore we can make it to Fort Meyers.” His finger lingered on the dot marking the location of the town. “Where my mom lives,” he murmured.

Isaac’s heart pounded. We’ve never had this much information on how and where the syndicates operate. This could change everything.

“Thank you, Gavin,” Gray said softly.

Gavin nodded stiffly. “Once C-Colleen’s operations are crippled, the entire western sector will fall. They won’t be able to rebuild. Everything goes through her along this route.”

“This has been… more than helpful.” Gray looked at Isaac and Vera.

Isaac nodded, stunned. “Th-thank you, Gavin,” he murmured.

Gavin shyly raised his eyes to Isaac’s, and held his gaze.

I trust him.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #emotional whump #the team is back in action #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #parental abuse tw #Vera's PTSD #love confession #murder bros #death mention tw #noncon mention tw #Vera knows what happens to people who refuse to rape playthings #touch starved Gavin #Isaac/Gavin #my oc: Isaac

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 34

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: thoughts of death, near-panic attack, mention of torture and parental abuse

“Um. Is anyone gonna eat the last piece of bacon?” Gavin’s gaze flicked around the table, barely resting on each person before he stared back at the table and up again. Gray smiled at him. Sam shook their head. Vera crunched her own piece of bacon.

Ellis wouldn’t look at him at all.

“Um.”

Gavin flinched slightly as Finn spoke up from the other end of the table.

“I’ll um. Split it with you.” Finn looked down at the lone piece of bacon on the plate, twisted and just a little burnt. They looked up at Gavin. A tight, uncomfortable smile pulled at their mouth.

Gavin heaved a deep breath. “Yeah. Yes please.” He reached for the bacon and broke it in half with his fork. He grabbed the smaller half and pushed the plate towards Finn.

Even after everything I’ve done, they’re still trying to include me. Is there a fucking limit to how good they all are?

Finn took the piece and ate it in one bite. They crunched it happily and threw a grin at Ellis. Ellis wouldn’t look at Finn, either. Gavin stared at the table.

Gray cleared their throat and stood. “Thank you for breakfast,” they said with a smile around the table. “I’m going to go for a walk, see if I can get my heart rate up a bit. Anyone who wants to can join me.” As if dismissed by Gray’s words, everyone else stood, grabbing their plates, talking about what they were going to do for the rest of the day.

“I wanted to go into town and see if there are any new arrivals,” Tori said softly, bumping Vera’s arm. “Do you want to come with me?”

Vera wrapped her free arm around Tori’s shoulders, resting lightly to avoid the marks from the cane that Gavin had left. Gavin winced at the memory of breaking Tori’s skin open.

“Yeah babe,” Vera said, pressing a kiss into Tori’s hair. “Sounds good.”

“Can I come?” Edrissa whispered at Vera’s elbow.

Tori and Vera smiled at each other. “Yeah,” Vera said, grinning. “We can all go.”

Gavin shuffled uncomfortably as he walked to the kitchen with his plate and put it in the sink. He wouldn’t be going anywhere. Since arriving at Crayton, he’d been under house arrest on pain of torture and death if he ever left. And not even just his torture and death. The whole family would fall if he betrayed them, even just by leaving the house for a minute.

Not that house arrest was like torture; staying in this big ranch house with the others had given him a sense of security he didn’t think he’d ever felt before. But he did miss the outside. He missed the ability to go wherever he wanted, anywhere in his parents’ territory, whenever he pleased. He missed the freedom.

He hated to admit that he missed being the heir to the fucking kingdom.

He shook his head and turned the tap on hot as the rest of them piled their plates and cups by the sink. Since he hadn’t helped with breakfast, he’d be on dish duty. He didn’t mind. Even being included in the chores the family did made him feel safer. He was working with them. Even if it was doing something as mundane as washing dishes.

He had his back to the kitchen as he rinsed the first plate, trying not to listen as the others filed one by one out of the kitchen behind him. Off to their adventures. Off to their lives, where he couldn’t follow.

I don’t need to fucking follow. I came here as a hostage to give them information about the syndicates. I’m lucky not to be in fucking chains right now.

He wasn’t sure when he started referring to people like his own family as ‘the syndicates.’

He wasn’t sure when he started thinking of these people as his family.

He wasn’t sure if they would ever feel the same way about him.

His shoulders relaxed as the kitchen became quiet behind him. At least when he was alone, he didn’t have to worry about scaring anyone or making anyone feel threatened or accidentally triggering someone into hurting him. Or killing him. If he had to be completely honest with himself, that’s probably how he was going to die. Someone living in this house was going to kill him one day.

He couldn’t bring himself to feel scared of that moment. Every day he’d been here, someone had shown him in some small way that that possibility was fading. The sharp tone in Gray’s voice had dropped away. Last week Sam had brought him chocolate from a trip into town. Finn had shared that piece of bacon with him.

Isaac had stayed with him when he was scared last night.

Sure, Ellis hated him and Edrissa looked at him like she was waiting for him to launch himself against the room and start beating her at any moment. Sure, Isaac’s hands twitched to his waistband when Gavin moved too fast, even though Isaac never carried his gun on him in the house. Sure, every time he entered a room the conversation died down for a moment, and sometimes stopped altogether.

Despite all that, despite every moment of awkwardness and guilt and wondering if today was going to be the day someone’s fear or rage would overcome them and they’d kill Gavin for all the crimes he’d committed against the family… He felt safer here than he ever had before in his life. The people here cared about each other. Would die for one another.

And Gavin couldn’t quite convince himself that they could all be faking the small kindnesses they showed him.

Gavin chewed his lip, realizing that he’d been scrubbing the same plate clean for the past several minutes. He put the plate on the dry towel next to the sink and reached for another.

“So I hear you’re scared of me.”

Gavin let out a shriek and spun, pressing himself back against the sink as he realized he was now alone in the kitchen with Vera.

Welp, I guess I’m dying today.

Vera laughed at his reaction, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking him up and down. Gavin flushed, mortified. His hands shook with the realization that Vera had cornered him in the only room in the house with a linoleum floor. Oh, shit. She’s gonna bleed me out, too.

Vera’s gaze pierced through him and his mouth went dry. He swallowed, trying frantically to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth so he could beg. For what, he didn’t know. Mercy, forgiveness, a fast fucking death, anything. His chest ached as his heart all but threw itself against his ribs. His blood pounded through his ears. His body was locked between warring compulsions: every instinct in him was screaming at him to run, to hide, to get as far as fucking possible from the predator standing between him and the door. His hands clenched into fists, even as he knew he couldn’t fight her.

His muscles locked against him and he froze.

Slowly, the smile slid from Vera’s face.

She raised her hands out to the side, empty, and took a step back. “Jesus Christ, Gavin. Breathe. You’re good.”

Gavin dragged in a ragged inhale and realized he’d been holding his breath. He slumped back against the counter, the rushing of the hot water making its way back into his ears.

“Jesus Christ,” Vera breathed. “Isaac wasn’t fucking kidding.”

“About what?” Gavin said thickly.

Vera’s gaze moved over him, uncertainty passing over her face. “About you being scared of me. Like… Jesus. You’d think I’m the one who tried to kill you or something.”

“You did try to kill me,” he mumbled through numb lips.

Vera huffed out a breath. “Fair enough. You had it coming.”

“Yeah, I fucking know.” Gavin’s jaw locked tight and he stared at the floor.

Seconds ticked by before Vera spoke again. “Do you… do you really have nightmares about me every night?” Her voice was low, gentle.

His eyes blinked shut for a moment and he blew out a slow breath. “Yeah. Yeah I fucking do. But I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? I don’t wanna talk about why. Because I know my dad was a terrible fucking person and I know he hurt you and I know I deserve every fucking nightmare because of what I did to you and Tori and what I was going to do to you…” His eyes burned with tears. “Okay? I fucking know it. So can we just—”

“Whoa whoa whoa, Gavin, stop.” He looked up at her. She had her hands up in a placating gesture. “Just… slow down. Okay?”

Gavin sniffed. “Okay.” He reached behind him to turn off the water. He wouldn’t meet Vera’s eyes.

They stood together in silence for so long Gavin’s legs began to fall asleep. Finally, he raised his gaze up to Vera. She chewed her lip, staring at the floor, her eyebrows pulled together. She opened her mouth to speak.

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for torturing and collaring Tori.”

Gavin wilted. “I know. I’m—”

Vera held up her hand. “Just… shut the fuck up, for a second? Please?”

Gavin flinched at the words, but relaxed a little at the gentle tone they came in. He nodded.

Vera looked down at the floor and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for what you did to Tori. But I… I want you to stop beating yourself up for what you did as a kid. Okay? You’ve got so much other shit to atone for. At least let that thing go.”

Gavin drooped, his eyes sliding closed.

“Look…” Vera paused. Gavin looked up at her as her face twisted. “I don’t know what went fucky in your head to make you like hurting people. Okay? I don’t. I don’t really care, either. And I don’t know what made you stop. Like I said, I don’t really care. But I know you couldn’t help how you were raised. I don’t know how they were to you. I don’t really want to know. But I… I… I guess what I’m trying to say is…” She met Gavin’s gaze and held it. “I know what it’s like to turn into something twisted trying to be good for Joseph Stormbeck.”

A chill hit Gavin in the gut like a fist and he gasped. She looked at him steadily, watching as he stumbled, watching his eyes fill with tears. I just wanted to be good for him. I just wanted to be good and he used that. Like I was a fucking plaything.

“Yeah,” Vera murmured, her gaze still on Gavin’s face. “I thought that would resonate.”

Gavin shuddered and a strangled sob heaved out of his chest. The room blurred with his tears, a band constricting around his throat until he thought he would choke. Vera’s eyes went wide. He pressed a hand to his mouth and he latched onto the counter, afraid he would fall. He swallowed once, trying to relieve the pressure in his throat. Swallowed again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, as soon as he could speak. “Have fun in town. If anyone asks I’m finishing the dishes later.” He pushed past Vera and dashed from the kitchen, barely making it to his room before he erupted in furious sobs.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #emotional whump #enemies to friends #breakfast #Finn is so pure #and Ellis is so pissed #HMS ToriVera #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #Isaac/Gavin #The Thing #panic attack #fight or flight #parental abuse tw #my oc: Gavin

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

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Honor Bound 2 - 37

Honor Bound 2 - 37 (brainwashing) - @badthingshappenbingo - requested by @walkingchemicalfire

Red X is for posted, white X is for requested.

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

Cw: mention of death squads, mention of head injury, mention of death of family, mention of child abuse (parent letting child torture someone), abusive language towards an SO, panic attack, mention of death threats

Finn made their way slowly through the woods, tilting their head up, enjoying the feeling of the sun dappling on their face. The breathed deep the clean, cool air, the smell of trees and sky. It was chillier up north and they shivered slightly in their light jacket. The woods were more pine than at Tori’s house.

Finn felt a pang of loss when they thought about Tori’s house. It had been their home for almost four months before they’d started up running missions again, and it was their home base they returned to after every one. It was the one place they’d felt safe in… years. Maybe since they escaped the death squads the destroyed the Junior Defense Corps. It was place they would never see again, now that Gavin’s people knew where it was. It was no longer safe. No longer home.

Anger moved slowly through Finn’s gut. Anger at Gavin, at the system that had created him. Anger at his father, who had guided Gavin to torture Vera when he was ten. Ten. A child. Gavin should have been playing with his friends, climbing trees, building forts and getting underfoot. He should have had a childhood. Instead, his father had taken him down into the basement Vera rarely talked about, and taught him torture.

Joseph Stormbeck broke Gavin. Finn had no illusions about that.

Sometimes it snuck up on them: the bitter resentment at Gavin for what he had done. Finn’s left hand still ached from time to time, when a strong storm came through. Their brain had healed completely, but they still felt a terrible sense of dread that everything they were, every memory, every aspect of them could be erased in a moment with a well-placed blow to the head. Finn had been dizzy for weeks after Gavin had given them a concussion. They knew too well the damage could have been much worse.

And yet, the deepest fury they held in their body for Gavin was for what he did to Ellis. Finn had known going in that Ellis was hurt, wounded, torn apart by the loss of their family. Finn had been prepared to be with Ellis through it, hold them when the loneliness crushed them. They hadn’t been prepared for the damage Gavin had done.

Finn shook their head and pushed the thought away. This wasn’t the place for pain, for ruminating on the past. This forest was the place for enjoyment of the now. This was the place they went with Ellis to be alone, to remember their walks near Tori’s house, the surreptitious love they made in the only place they had true privacy. These walks were for them, and no one else. These walks weren’t for thoughts about Gavin.

Finn glanced at Ellis. They didn’t look nearly as happy to be out here as Finn was.

Finn stopped and took Ellis’s hand, searching their face with their gaze. “Ellis?” Finn said softly, squeezing Ellis’s fingers. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Ellis grumbled. They pulled their hand out of Finn’s grasp.

Finn chewed their lip. “Okay… You seem mad.”

Ellis crossed their arms and took a step back, away from Finn. “Well, I…” They blew out a slow breath through their nose. “I’m sorry. I’m not fine. I’m fucking pissed.”

Finn swallowed. “Okay. About what?”

Ellis refused to meet Finn’s gaze. “About… about you.”

Finn’s heart beat a little faster. “About, um, me?”

“Yeah.” Ellis shook their head, still staring at a bush to Finn’s left. Refusing to look at them. “You…” Ellis’s jaw worked. “How can you… be so fucking… nice… to Gavin Stormbeck?”

Finn’s eyebrows pulled together in utter confusion. “What? I’m not… nice… What?”

Ellis rolled their eyes. “At breakfast this morning? The bacon?”

Finn balked. “You think that was… being… Ellis, I don’t…”

“You shared with him. You shared your fucking food with him. After everything… everything he’s done…”

“Um, yeah, Ellis,” Finn snapped, defensiveness creeping up their limbs, pulling their shoulders higher around their ears. “I shared my food with him. He’s gonna be with us for, um, a long time. We have to share our shit with him.”

“Well, you…” Ellis stared at the ground. “You didn’t have to be so fucking nice about it.”

Finn threw their hands in the air. “What about that was nice? He asked if anyone wanted the bacon, I did, we split it. What’s the matter with that?”

Ellis ground their teeth. “I don’t… I don’t know, okay?”

“Babe…” Finn’s voice dropped, grew a little softer. “I’m not… I’m not cozying up to him, okay? I’m not… forgetting what he’s done. But he’s different. And I think—”

“He’s different?” Ellis nearly shrieked, the anger in them rising to the surface and bursting through their skin, their voice. “Are you fucking kidding?”

Finn bit down hard on their retort.

“Are you…” Ellis ran their hands roughly through their hair. “Are you… has he fucking brainwashed you, or something? Are you out of your mind?”

“Stop yelling at me,” Finn growled.

Ellis flushed, bright red spreading over the pale skin of their cheeks, creeping down their neck. Shame twisted their features, dampened the rage there.

“I know he’s fucked with us,” Finn snapped. “I fucking remember, okay? I wore a brace on my hand for months because of what he did. I remember watching him torture Isaac. I remember Sam nearly dying. Okay? I’m the one who placed the chest tube in Gray. I’m the one who pulled Sam back from sepsis. I’m the one who cleans up what he did to all of us.” Finn’s lips trembled and their hands started to shake. “I’m the one who put you all back together again.”

Ellis pressed their lips together and stared at the ground, the flush burning deeper on their skin.

“So don’t…” Finn’s hands curled into fists at their sides. “Don’t fucking say I’m brainwashed. Don’t…” Their throat closed up around a sob. They forced it down, ignored the way their eyes burned. “Don’t say… don’t say he fucked with my head. Okay? He… he didn’t. I’m still… still me.” They swallowed the lump in their throat, cursing the tears that fell down their cheeks.

At that, Ellis’s head snapped up and they met Finn’s gaze, regret and guilt heavy in their eyes. “Oh,” Ellis breathed. “Finn, I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean that…”

“I know you’re angry,” Finn said, their voice tight with the sob they were holding down with everything they had. “I know you hate him. And I don’t blame you. I don’t. You can hate him forever. I don’t care. But… I fix people, Ellis. I know when someone is broken. And Gavin is… is broken. You’ve seen him and if you deny it…” Finn shook their head.

“I…”

“You’ve seen how he reacts to blood. You saw him with the bounty hunters. You saw Gavin with Isaac’s blood, when the mob nearly hanged him. You’ve seen how he flinches around Vera. You’ve seen it, right?”

“Yeah,” Ellis whispered, their voice thick with something Finn couldn’t place. They didn’t want to place it. They wanted Ellis to understand.

“And you heard what Isaac said this morning, too, right?” Finn said, their voice still tight but not as loud. They breathed slowly, forced the tearing pressure in their chest down. “You heard him talking about how Gavin’s not sleeping well. And you’ve heard him screaming at night, I know you have.”

Ellis nodded slowly. “I know.”

“I know he’s done some terrible fucking shit, Ellis,” Finn said heavily. “I’m aware. But… look at who his parents are. His father was willing to let him die so he could capture Vera again. His mother was hoping we’d kill him the first chance we got. He’s been raised from birth to be exactly who he was and once he got his shit scrambled, he left.”

“That doesn’t fucking excuse it,” Ellis mumbled, their own eyes shining with tears.

“I didn’t say it does,” Finn said through their teeth. “All I’m saying is…” They pushed out a slow breath through their lips. There was a tightness in their chest that wouldn’t be relieved. “All I’m saying is, he’s changed. And I’m… I’m willing to give him a chance. Even if that chance is just sharing food with him.”

“He doesn’t get a chance with me,” Ellis sneered.

“Well…” Finn gulped, trembling at the wave of terror and rage rising in them. They took a step back from Ellis. “I…”

Ellis’s eyes went wide. “Finn… Are you…?”

“He didn’t fuck with my head,” Finn whispered. “He… he didn’t. I’m not… crazy, I’m not confused…”

Ellis held their hands out plaintively to Finn, biting their lip, taking a half-step in their direction. “I know, babe… I’m sorry…”

“He didn’t… Do you… seriously… think…?” Finn gasped, gulped at the air that seemed to have all rushed out of the forest at once. They stumbled back and nearly fell. Ellis lunged forward and caught them.

“I don’t, babe,” Ellis whimpered, tears rolling down their cheeks. “I’m so—”

“How could you… say that…”

“I didn’t mean it…”

“You did,” Finn sobbed. “You think he’s tricked me. You think I…” They slowly slid to their knees, pressing their face into their hands. “I didn’t know this was… still in my… head…”

“I swear to god, Finn, I didn’t mean it,” Ellis said as they pulled Finn into their arms. “I swear. I’m so… I’m so sorry. He just gets me so… fucking angry…”

“I know.” Finn shuddered and choked out a sob. “I know he does. He hurt you.”

“That doesn’t mean I get to hurt you,” Ellis said against Finn’s hair.

“Ever since… every time I… forget something, or get confused, or get dizzy, anything, I worry… he did lasting damage, that he… he damaged me…”

“He didn’t, babe,” Ellis soothed. “You’re the smartest person I know. You got a little concussion a few months ago and now you’re fine. Everyone gets confused sometimes.”

“But I…” Finn hiccoughed. “I understand why you hate him. He… he showed you your family… And he tortured all of us… But I swear to god, Ellis, he’s different now. He’s changed.” Finn swiped their hand at the tears running down their cheeks. “I see it more every day. He’s not who he was. He can’t be.”

“I know,” Ellis sniffled. They pressed their forehead to Finn’s temple. “I think that’s part of why I’m so… mad… He gets to do all that, be a fucking monster, and then he… he heals. He gets better. He gets us. And I…” They swallowed. “When I… um… went dark…” They pressed a kiss to Finn’s forehead. “There was no one there for me. I was alone. I had nothing. Now he gets… he gets everything.”

“It’s not everything for him,” Finn said softly. “He lost his family, in a different way, and he’s stuck with us. He probably walks around wondering when we’re going to just waste him, every fucking day.”

Ellis sat back, their eyebrows shooting up. “Why do you think that? Why would he think that of us?”

“Um…” Finn wet their lips. “We’ve nearly killed him twice?”

Ellis scoffed. “I mean, yeah, technically, but it was fucking warranted and self-defense both times.”

“And we’ve threatened to kill him more times than I can count since he came to us.”

“Only if he betrayed us!” Ellis’s mouth twisted. “I think that’s kinda obvious!”

“Ellis…” Finn sighed. “It doesn’t matter to him what we think. All that matters is he’s watched us kill the people who hurt us, and he’s on that list.”

Ellis’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. It hurt Finn’s heart to see it. “How do you know so much about what goes on in his head?”

“Because I’m constantly trying to think of how to fix him,” Finn said, exasperated.

Ellis studied Finn’s face. Their eyes moved over their features, looking for something. Maybe hoping for something. “Do you…” Ellis began tentatively. They cleared their throat and tried again. “Do you think he can really change?”

Finn looked down, at their hands twisted in their lap. Ellis reached out to lace their fingers through Finn’s. “Um…” Finn bit their lip. “I th-think… he already has. I think if we just… give him a chance…”

“I don’t trust him enough to give him a chance to hurt us,” Ellis said quietly.

Finn squeezed their hand. “Maybe we won’t have to.”

“But he’ll have to come with us south,” Ellis said, their voice shaking. “He can’t stay up here. He can’t go further north. They’ll kill him. He’s got to stay under our protection, for…” They swallowed hard. “Forever. And there’s no way Isaac would trust him enough to ever bring him on missions.”

Finn laughed, and Ellis’s shoulders relaxed an inch. “Oh, no. We’ll definitely have to take him with us, but yeah, there’s no way Gavin goes on missions. The day Isaac trusts Gavin is the day I’ll know I really have gone insane.”

Ellis smiled and held Finn tight. “I’m sorry,” Ellis said quietly.

“Me too,” Finn murmured, and pulled Ellis in for a deep kiss.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #bad things happen bingo #brainwashing #whump #emotional whump #Fillis #angst #mention of death squads tw #parental abuse tw #head injury #mention of death of children tw #mention of consensual sex #abusive language to significant other tw #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #panic attack #death threats tw #my oc: Finn

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 32

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Thank you to everyone who came to the livewrite for this!!! I had the time of my life watching y’all scream over my dumbasses. You have no idea how hard it was to write this with y’all screaming MAKE THEM FUUUUUUUUCK and not actually do it. So I love you. You’re my people.

The spice will come later I promise.

Cw: blood, gore, nightmare monsters with pointy teeth (idk dude I creeped myself out writing it), mention of past rape and torture, mention of really, really bad parents enabling/encouraging torture, tricky ex-whumper/whumpee dynamics

Gavin was home again.

He knew it immediately. The walls, the pictures on them, the carpet, the light, the smell, it was all exactly how he remembered it. Years ago, or weeks ago? He wasn’t sure. He just knew he was home.

He wandered through the front door, dragging his fingers along the wall, looking around at the place that seemed frozen in time.

When’s the last time I was here? Years ago, or weeks ago?

He shrugged and kept moving.

He passed the grand staircase, disappearing into shadows upstairs. Where his bedroom was, and his parents’ bedroom. And his play room, now turned into a study for when he wanted to work from home. A coat closet to his left. A bathroom to his right. Past a corner, into a living room. A kitchen, off to his right. A room at the end of the hallway, where he had spent hours playing under his father’s desk while he worked. “Come here, Gavin. Look at this map. We’ll learn the cities together. Soon it’ll be yours.”

It was exactly the same as he remembered it— Years ago, or weeks ago? What did it matter? It was perfect. He ran his hand along his father’s desk, the low set of drawers along the wall.

The hair on the back of Gavin’s neck stood up. He heard breathing behind him. Not the kind of breathing that comes from a normal human throat.

Icy terror poured down his spine as his hands clenched into fists. No. No no no no no.

“Gavin.”

The sound of his father’s shredded voice clutched Gavin’s heart. A shudder rippled through him. He closed his eyes, praying that if he didn’t look, it would go away. He wouldn’t have to see it. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he felt breath on the back of his neck.

He spun around in a panic, his hands flying out in front of his face to protect himself. Still several feet away, his father stood, looking at him.

His throat was completely torn away, gaping raggedly, blood bubbling in the deep tear that disappeared into his neck. His father’s eyes were blank and clouded, like his soul was already gone, as he stood there staring at Gavin.

Gavin pressed himself back against the drawers, heart beating out of his chest. “D-dad…”

His father’s voice gurgled out of him. “Hello, son.”

“P-please, no, I don’t… please…”

His father grinned. “Want to see me make her good again?”

Gavin’s stomach dropped, and he gagged. “No. No no no no I don’t want that. Dad. No.”

Gavin blinked.

There was someone else standing behind his father. She looked like Vera, felt like Vera. He knew she was Vera.

But her mouth gaped open with razor sharp teeth, pointed and deadly.

She looked like a monster.

Gavin shivered. “No. No no fuck, Vera, I’m sorry, please no…”

His father’s hand closed around Vera’s hair and forced her to her knees.

“No no no, dad no…” Gavin staggered a step forward, his hand outstretched.

Vera lunged forward and snapped her teeth at Gavin’s hand.

He screamed and fell backwards, bashing his head against the drawers behind him. His father barked out a wet, shrieking laugh. “I told you. She’s feral.” He jerked her back to her knees and stared down at her with a smile on his vacant face. “This is why I had to make her good.”

“Dad, you…” Gavin got to his feet, forcing down the bile that clawed up his throat as he stared at his father. “You made her like this!”

His father chuckled and loosened his hold on Vera’s hair. “You want me to let her go, then? You want me to let her get you?”

“N-no, please, just… Why did you…” Gavin choked down tears. “Why did you do this?”

“I told you, son,” his father croaked. “I told you from the beginning. What you feel is right, no matter what. They exist to be our—”

“No!” Gavin shouted. “They don’t! You… she wouldn’t be this way if you didn’t…” He gasped and his eyes snapped to Vera.

She was fighting his father’s hold, writhing against the hand in her hair, clawing her way towards Gavin. Her eyes bored into his, and blood dripped down her chin from her teeth. She snarled at him wordlessly.

“Please,” he whispered to her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Her lips pulled back over her teeth. She broke his father��s hold and threw herself on top of him, snapping at his throat.

“No!”

Gavin pushed away from the weight on top of him, sobbing. “No no no no no please!”

“Gavin.”

He knew that voice. It wasn’t Vera’s.

“Gavin.”

“No,” he whimpered, flailing in the dark.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” The weight disappeared, and Gavin slumped back to the bed, sobbing with relief. The light blazed on and Gavin flinched back, covering his eyes. The sheets tightened around him and he thrashed, panicking.

“For fuck’s sake, Gavin, calm the fuck down. It’s me.”

Gavin shuddered. “I-Isaac?”

“Yeah, dumbass.” Gavin’s eyes slowly focused. Isaac was standing by the door, his arms folded over his chest, his face like a storm cloud.

Gavin trembled and pulled at the sheets. “I… Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Isaac grit his teeth. “Well, you did. I’m going back to bed.” He reached for the nightswitch.

Gavin’s stomach lurched. “Isaac, please.” Isaac stopped at whatever he heard in Gavin’s voice. “Can you just… just wait?”

Isaac stared into the hallway, his throat working around a swallow. A muscle stood out in his jaw as he clenched his teeth.

Tears burned in Gavin’s eyes, and he looked down, mortified. “I… I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m… just really fucking freaked out right now.”

Isaac dragged his hand across his face. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he mumbled, so quietly Gavin almost missed it. Then he turned and leaned up against the doorframe. “Okay. What do you want?”

I want to not be so fucking scared all the time. “Please. I just…” Gavin’s head fell forward into his hands. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Isaac crossed his arms across his chest. His hands were squeezed into fists. He stared at Gavin with a look that could have been disgust, if there wasn’t that flicker of fear behind it. Gavin’s heart clenched with shame. Yeah, no shit, dumbass. You fucking tortured him.

I never broke him, though.

Gavin picked at the bedspread. “I’m sorry it was, um, you.” Gavin stole a glance at Isaac where he stood.

Isaac’s eyes narrowed. “Sorry what was me?”

“I’m um, sorry you’re the one I woke up. I guess I…” He fell silent.

Isaac blew out a scornful-sounding breath. “It’s not exactly like you have your pick here of people you haven’t fucking traumatized.”

Gavin swallowed. “I… I know. I’m s—”

“Don’t,” Isaac growled. “Don’t fucking say you’re sorry.”

Gavin chewed his lip. “Then what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Isaac ground his teeth together and for a moment, Gavin thought Isaac might beat him to death right here. If I’ve gotta go out some way…

Instead, Isaac slid to the ground. He pressed his face into his hands. “Ugh.” The sound came out muffled.

Gavin twisted the sheets between his hands, his heart still beating hard in his chest.

“I…” Isaac dropped his hands and stared at the ceiling. “I want you to say…” Isaac shook his head. “I don’t know what the fuck I want you to say. The damage has been done.”

Gavin’s throat tightened with a sob. “I… I kn-know I, um, damaged you.”

Isaac’s eyes snapped to Gavin’s. “Oh, fuck you.”

Gavin swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

Isaac smoothly got to his feet and took a step towards the bed. “You don’t know fucking damage. You don’t know a fucking thing.”

Gavin pressed himself back against the headboard. “I—”

“Shut up,” Isaac snapped. “You don’t know how it feels to look at your two best friends and watch them fucking break because of something some entitled, sadistic asshole decided to do because it was a fucking Tuesday. You don’t know how it feels to watch every single person you love dragged into the middle of a room and tortured in the worst possible way. You don’t know a fucking thing.” Isaac’s hands curled into fists. “Do you fucking understand?”

A tear escaped to run down Gavin’s cheek and he nodded, cringing backways. “Yes. I’m… I’m sorry.”

Isaac’s body shuddered forward. “I don’t understand why Gray won’t let me fucking kill you.”

Gavin held a hand out in front of him. As if he could protect himself from Isaac. As if he could try. “P-please don’t.”

Isaac squeezed his eyes shut, his chest heaving. “Fuck,” he whispered. He blew out a slow, forceful breath. “Fuck.” He took a step back. Then another. He opened his eyes. His face was pulled into such a look of anguish that Gavin felt it like a physical pain. Isaac fell back another step, against the doorframe, and slid to the floor again.

Gavin cast around for something that would be helpful to say.

“Um…” He bit his lip. “I’m… I’m not a sadist anymore?”

Isaac looked murderous.

Oh. I fucked up.

Gavin frantically backpedaled. “Oh, fuck. I mean, um, I… I won’t do it again. And… and I don’t want to do it again. I just want—” He cut himself off as Isaac turned an alarming shade of red. Gavin’s mouth snapped shut.

“What,” Isaac snarled through his teeth, “Do you want. I’m dying to fucking know.”

Gavin’s vision blurred with tears. He bit down hard on his lip, trying to keep the tears from spilling. If I tell him, he’s going to kill me.

He’s never going to fucking trust me until I do.

Gavin swallowed, pressing the sleeves of his sleeping shirt against his eyes. “Um. I…” He blew out a shaky breath, considering for a moment it might be his last. “I… just… want to feel like I have a family again.”

Gavin held his breath. Waited for Isaac to launch himself across the room and bash his skull in like he so looked like he wanted to do just about constantly. Gavin didn’t move an inch. Waiting.

He started to get dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He dragged in a gasp and dared to peek over his hands at Isaac’s face.

Isaac had gone a ghostly white, looking at Gavin with something that surpassed horror. Gavin’s heart sunk in his chest.

“And you want… you want… my family?” Isaac rasped. His lips trembled.

“I don’t want to… to steal them, or anything, I mean…” Gavin wrapped his arms tight around his chest. “I mean…” He shook his head. “I thought…” His voice wavered. He tried again. “Everything about my family was, um. Was a lie. I thought they loved me. I thought they… they gave a fuck about me. But I’m, um… I’m starting to realize… they only ever loved me when I was, um. Like them. They… they ignored me when I did anything else. When I, um. Wanted. Anything else. And I…” He gasped, holding his hand out to Isaac. “I’m not trying to say I had it worse. Okay? I’m not. I swear. But… I never knew there was, um, anything else. I should have fucking known, okay? But… it… um… h-hurting people was, was all I was ever good at. And I was good at it. I never had to do anything else. I never had to, um, learn to be anything else. And then… when I didn’t want that anymore…” Gavin swallowed the burning sensation in his throat and closed his eyes. “Um… as soon as I was, um, someone else, someone who was, um, broken, they… she… threw me out. But you…” Gavin shuddered, sure he was pushing too far, that he would say the wrong thing, that he would ruin everything more than it had already been ruined. “Everyone’s, um, broken. Here. And you all…” He couldn’t say it.

“We what?”

Gavin opened his eyes and looked at Isaac. He had his hands at his sides, still curled into fists, his breaths moving fast through his chest. Gavin steadied his breath.

“Everyone’s broken here. And you all still love each other.”

Isaac leaned back against the doorframe, his eyes still fixed on Gavin. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and breathed slow.

Gavin swallowed hard. “And I want that, too.”

Isaac opened his mouth to speak. Closed it. Opened it. Closed it again.

Gavin buried his face in his hands. Fuck.

“You wanted a family, so you went and found the family you tortured?” There was something in Isaac’s voice Gavin couldn’t place. He didn’t raise his head.

“You are, um, good people. Good people are easy to hurt but, um, I don’t want to, uh, hurt you.”

“You almost took my family away from me,” Isaac whispered. “Do you fucking remember that? Is that even real to you?”

Gavin lifted his head. The pain that dragged at Isaac’s face made Gavin’s throat tight.

“Do you fucking remember holding a gun to Sam’s head and telling me you’d kill them if I didn’t fucking torture them? My fucking sibling?”

Gavin clenched his teeth together. He nodded.

“Do you remember torturing my best friend with the man who raped her and tortured her for months?”

Gavin opened his mouth to speak.

“Don’t fucking say you didn’t know about the rapes. I’ve already fucking heard it. If you didn’t know, then you’re an idiot.”

“I am an idiot, Isaac,” Gavin whispered. “That’s what I’ve tried to fucking tell you.”

Isaac laughed once, bitterly, and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “Are you even the same fucking person?”

Gavin swallowed. “Yeah. Just… minus everything that made me who I was, yeah.”

Isaac snorted. “Then there wasn’t much to you in the first place, was there?”

Gavin’s mouth twisted. “Don’t be an asshole, Isaac.”

“God forbid there be two in the room,” Isaac snapped.

Gavin laughed tightly, darkly. “See, this is why I—” OH GOD DON’T FUCKING SAY THAT.

“Why you what?” Isaac’s eyes narrowed.

—why I loved torturing you. The rapport. Gavin shook his head. “Can I just say it was something really, really stupid that I don’t wanna say and call it good?”

Isaac stared at him for a moment, then let his head thump back against the doorframe. “Sure. Why the fuck not.”

Gavin breathed out a desperate sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he wheezed.

Isaac tapped his fingers against his legs. After a moment, he said, “Dare I ask what your fucking nightmare was about?”

Gavin’s eyes widened. “Um. No. Oh no no no.” He really will kill me. I can’t fucking tell him that.

Isaac tilted his head. “No, I really wanna know. What scares Gavin fucking Stormbeck?” His tone was taunting, but he wasn’t radiating the murderous rage Gavin always seemed to cause in him.

“Um…” Gavin closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again as an image of Vera with teeth like a fucking anglerfish flashed through his mind. “Ugh. Fuck. You have to, um, promise not to get mad.”

Isaac’s face darkened. “No I fucking don’t.”

Gavin bit his lip. “Well, I… I can’t fucking help what my subconscious thinks of, right?”

Isaac said nothing, just stared at Gavin with a snarl on his face.

Gavin’s head thumped back against the headboard. “Fucking fine.” Just thinking of it made his stomach clench with fear. “Um… I had a dream I was um, at my house, where Vera, um… Where my, uh, dad was killed. And he was there, looking all bloody and fucking horrifying. And Vera was there, too, looking like a fucking… well, like a fucking nightmare, with sharp teeth and shit, like she always does…”

“Wait… ‘like she always does’?” Isaac’s eyes narrowed.

“I, um.” Gavin looked down at the bedspread thinking, for not the first time tonight, that this is when Isaac would kill him. “I’ve, um, ha-had nightmares about Vera, um, killing my dad. Every…” He drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “...every fucking night.”

Isaac leaned back, considering that. “Oh. Holy shit.” A smile quirked at his lips. “She’d be fucking thrilled to know that.”

“Yeah, I bet she fucking would,” Gavin grumbled. He glanced up and saw Isaac’s eyes fixed on him again. Agh, fuck. He shook his head and kept going. “So she, um, was there, with my dad, and my d-dad said he would, um, let her…” Another slow breath. “Let her get me if I didn’t want to…” Gavin’s eyes flicked to Isaac’s again. Yup. He’s gonna fucking murder me for this. “He said he would let her get me if I didn’t, um, want to watch him…” He squeezed his eyes shut, terrified to look at Isaac while he said it. “...make her good.”

Gavin flinched back, eyes still desperately squeezed shut, at Isaac’s soft intake of breath. He braced himself, shivering against the headboard.

Nothing moved for a moment.

“And what the fuck did you say?” Isaac growled at him.

“I… I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to stop.” Gavin shuddered. “I just wanted him to fucking stop.”

For a moment there was nothing but the sound of their breathing.

There was a rustle of movement and Gavin’s eyes flew open. Isaac stood from his spot against the doorframe and leaned against the wall.

“I…” Isaac said softly. He wet his lips and tried again. “I don’t know how I can ever trust you.”

Let me earn it.

Can I earn it?

I want to earn it.

“I… I know.” Gavin’s voice creaked out of him, heavy with sadness.

“No. Do you understand what you’ve done to me and my family?”

Gavin was silent.

Isaac shook his head. “I don’t know how I can trust you,” he said again, quieter. He turned to leave, his hand reaching for the lightswitch.

“No, please,” Gavin breathed.

Isaac paused in the doorway.

Gavin swallowed. “L-leave the, um, the light on. Please.”

Isaac dropped his hand and left.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #nightmare #blood tw #gore tw #scary Vera tw #(seriously she scary)#fuck joseph stormbeck #The Thing #whumper POV #hurt/comfort #mostly comfort #begging #isaac's PTSD #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #in which Gavin is such a dumbass #gavin's redemption arc #my oc: Gavin

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Note

ahhhhhhhhh thank you so much for your lovely answers!!! they were all so very interesting! i have more questions!! - so! re: fucked up ideas about consent, getting into the weeds of it - did gavin, like, always think someone (himself &/or partner) could stop at any time that was asked? what does he think *now*? also, does/did he ever think his own sexual comfort wouldn’t matter much (cause self-punishment)? did he ever fear non-con as revenge in early days with team? think he deserved it? 🥺🥺🥺

*squishes your face between my hands* Look. Listen. I will take literally any excuse to talk about my bisexual disaster child. At any time.

Cw: discussion of noncon, fucky ideas about consent

Honestly, consent wasn’t something Gavin really... thought about? Much? We’ve seen he’s a very generous lover and so he did like making people feel good even then. His world was very, very narrow. He knew what nonconsent looked like because his playthings didn’t consent to being tortured. He knew what enthusiastic consent looked like, because his partners usually expressed it to him. Beyond that, his understanding of consent was... less than nuanced.

Now, he has a very, very acute consciousness about consent. His sexual relationship with Isaac is fraught with opportunities to misstep. He knows exactly what noncon is now, and what it feels like when it happens. (remember, he was r@ped, just as much as Isaac was.)

He’s aware of his sexual comfort, but he’s much, much more aware of Isaac’s. They’ll... get more comfortable, and healthier. There are a lot of speedbumps between that and Gavin being kidnapped again happiness.

I don’t think he feared noncon when he was first with the team. He just kind of... knew. That that wasn’t who they were.

#gavin is my bisexual disaster child #noncon tw

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

Honor Bound 2 - 36

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound.

AO3

Cw: parental abuse, emotional abuse, thoughts of death, blood mention, noncon mention, mention of parental death

Gavin slammed his door shut and crumpled to the floor in front of it, heaving with sobs. He pushed himself backwards and leaned back against the door, pressing his hand to his mouth, shuddering and rocking forward as each sob broke over him. “I know what it’s like to turn into something twisted trying to be good for Joseph Stormbeck.”

He reached out in his mind, reached out for the memories of feeling good when he hurt someone. Cutting Sam. Downing Isaac. Beating Tori. He remembered how it felt, the warm, wrenching glow in his chest that shimmered and moved through him as the sound of their screams rose. He remembered what it was like, even as a creeping nausea began to clutch his stomach at the thought. He remembered how it felt to torture, to maim, to kill.

Tentatively, terrified, he reached out in his mind for a different feeling: the feeling he got when his father told him he was good. When his father pet his hair and smiled and pulled him into a hug and said “you’re my good boy, Gavin.” He reached out for the feeling of his father loving him. Approving of him. He reached out and remembered how it felt to have his father’s hands on his shoulders as he smiled at him. Hands Gavin knew now were covered in Vera’s blood.

It was the same feeling.

He lurched forward with a horrified gasp.

But he wasn’t trying to be good, was he? He wasn’t trying to be good when he hurt those people. He wanted it. He deserved the family’s ire, their judgment, their hatred, because he really did want to hurt people. No amount of justification, no amount of lies could ever take that fact away. He liked hurting people, and his father let him. That was that.

But… He cried harder as he let the thought he had quashed weeks ago grow into a fully-fledged idea. What if Gray had raised me? What if they had found out what I was, found out I was a monster, and helped me? What if they found out I liked hurting people and found a way to love me anyway, without making it worse? Without making me feel like that was the only way to be?

He slumped to his hands and knees and curled up on his side, his back pressed against the door. He pressed his hand to his mouth to muffle the sound of his sobs. I can’t fucking let anyone hear this. I can’t let anyone hear me crying and think I’m trying to gain their compassion. I don’t fucking deserve it. He curled tighter into himself and buried his head in his arms.

My parents didn’t have to let me do it. They didn’t have to fucking encourage me. It was… it was my responsibility not to, but they… He shook his head. It wasn’t their fault, was it? It wasn’t their fault he was the way he was. There was something wrong in him, deep down, deeper than anyone else could go. I can’t remember ever not being like this. I’ve always been this way. I’ve always been fucked up.

I’ve always been broken.

It had never, never been a problem before. He was a syndicate son, and syndicate sons took playthings and pets. Syndicate sons played with people in their spare time, just like their parents. It was the way it was, and as far as Gavin knew, the way it always had been. He had never known it not to be true. He had never not been the master of everything he knew. He had never once had to consider that other people didn’t deserve the torture he felt like dealing out. It was like his mother said: he was syndicate, and so everything in the world was at and for his pleasure. It was the way of things. He had never had to – or wanted to – consider anything else.

But now, surrounded by these people who had spent their lives being tortured and used and brutalized and broken by the syndicates… surrounded by them… things were different.

When had he started to care about them? He couldn’t remember a time or a moment where he had decided it. He couldn’t remember looking at any one of them and thinking, “I care about you now.” And yet, it had happened. Somehow, in the past three weeks, it had happened.

He sobbed harder. Now he was surrounded by these people, these decent, kind, good people, and he cared about them. He couldn’t help it. He hadn’t made the decision. He cared.

And they hated him. For good reason, and he certainly couldn’t blame them, not at all. He couldn’t tell them they were wrong, he was changed, they should get over it and love him now. No. He had hurt them as deeply as one person can hurt another, each and every one of them. Except for Edrissa, but she had been broken, too. Not by his family, he knew that, but by another family so much like his that it didn’t matter. She hated him for his syndicate blood and his syndicate name. And she was right to.

It was easier, before he realized how much he cared for them. It was easier, when he was their prisoner. His days had been filled with a sort of dull, buzzing terror that they could kill him at any moment, and his nights were always shot through with nightmares about Vera coming out of the shadows to slaughter him. But it was easier, knowing they meant little to him, and he meant less to them. It was simple. He was a traitor to his own family, to his own world, and he had nowhere else to go. He had information that could help them, so they were willing to keep him alive. That was it. That was all there was to it.

But now… He cared about them. And that fact changed everything.

Walking away from his mother had been hard, but it was necessary. Walk away, or die by the hands of the people he had tortured. They may have made it hurt, or they may have done it quickly. Those were the only two possibilities if he had stayed. They would not have listened to his pleas for mercy.

Once he left, more possibilities opened up. Possibilities of him staying alive, of escaping the torture that probably awaited him. He could have gone anywhere. He could have run and found some place, somewhere, where nobody knew his name.

He hadn’t done it. He still didn’t quite understand why, but he hadn’t done it. He’d sought out the people his mother was going to sell him to. He’d submitted himself to their wills. He’d assumed his value as an informant would have been enough to keep him alive for a while.

Thinking back, it really was a stupid decision. But he was still alive. They hadn’t tortured him for information, or even really asked. They’d used his knowledge to navigate the syndicate checkpoints, and that was it. That was all. What was he still doing here, if they weren’t going to use him in that way? Things were harder, now. Gavin understood the politics of information. He understood the tightrope he was walking between telling them all what they needed to know, and keeping enough to himself to stay alive.

And yet somehow, he doubted they would kill him once he’d stopped being useful to them. He wasn’t even useful now. They didn’t ask him anything. Didn’t want anything from him. So what was he still doing here? Why was he still alive? He knew they didn’t care about him. They couldn’t. They had no reason to. And until very recently, he didn’t care about them, either.

And then he did.

He couldn’t explain it.

He hadn’t been lying to Isaac when he’d told him he just wanted to feel like he had a family again. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been so honest in his life. And Isaac hadn’t killed him for saying it, although Gavin had thought he was going to. He couldn’t believe he was still alive, if he really thought about it.

But the idea that his father had loved him when he hurt people, when he was a monster like him, and no other time? That idea threatened to destroy him.

He could rebuild himself with this new family, he thought. Maybe they would let him live, even after he’d lived out his usefulness to them. They weren’t the kind to kill people once they’d been used up. They weren’t like him.

He wasn’t that way any longer, though.

There was no way he could ever prove that to them. He could never really prove he had changed. Vera had broken him, yes. Vera had planted a terror in him that he couldn’t push away, a terror wrapped up in torture and blood and pain that made it so he couldn’t hurt people anymore. She had taken that way.

And he had kept growing. She had ripped out of his life the one thing he was good at, but something else had come in to fill that gap. He wasn’t sure what it was. He still wasn’t sure who he was if he wasn’t a syndicate son, a sadist, the master of his world and everyone in it. He wasn’t sure who he was without torture. But he was someone. He was something else.

He could be allowed to be someone else, here. These people would let him be something else. They would let him live, be who he was now, this person who didn’t want to hurt people. He never wanted that again. And they could accept that. He was sure of that, now. They weren’t going to kill him, not unless he gave them reason to. Isaac had put himself in the way of a bullet for him when they’d first arrived. Isaac had let the northerners cut him and bleed him just to prove Gavin was broken. Gavin had watched Isaac’s eyes fog over, had watched him leave for a moment as the knife drew his blood. Gavin had watched Isaac go back to is basement, under his knife, under his torture. He’d seen it, before the smell of blood had gripped him with panic.

But what now? They wouldn’t kill him. But they wouldn’t care for him, either. Ellis wanted him dead, he could see it every time they looked at him, or refused to look at him. Edrissa was terrified of him. With the brand on her skin and the healing scar on her arm where her tracker had been, she was terrified of everything he represented. And Isaac…

For the thousandth time, for the millionth time, Gavin’s thoughts turned to Isaac. What the fuck am I supposed to do with him? He’d hurt Isaac worse than anybody. Isaac’s body was permanently scarred because of him. Isaac’s mind was scarred because of him. If Gavin hadn’t seen the panic attacks for himself, he wouldn’t have believed it. Over and over and over, he’d told himself he hadn’t broken Isaac. He hadn’t made him betray his family. He hadn’t shattered him.

He couldn’t live with himself if he ever allowed himself to believe he had.

Isaac was… pure. Isaac was everything that was good, everything that Gavin wanted. Isaac was loyal, and strong, and… he was there. After everything he’d survived, he was still alive, he was still there for his family. He hadn’t abandoned them. He hadn’t sold them out, or betrayed them. He was there.

Gavin wanted Isaac to be there for him, too.

He didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t even know what he felt, not if he got down to it. He still felt for Isaac what he had from the start: he valued his strength, his courage, his absolute dedication to being an idiot when it came to his family. He marveled at the lengths Isaac was willing to go for people who weren’t even his own blood, people he chose.

He wanted to see Isaac pushed to his limit. His limit of what, Gavin wasn’t sure.

There was something else there, something new. Something Gavin couldn’t place. Something about how when Isaac cried, Gavin wanted to punch a wall instead of laugh. Something about how he felt when Isaac looked at Vera and held her gaze with a soft smile. Something about how something inside him ached when he thought about Isaac coming to his room last night, drawn by the sound of him screaming. It was almost as if Isaac cared.

His chest felt like it was being crushed. He wanted Isaac to care, more than he wanted almost anything else.

A fresh wave of tears poured down his face. He wanted them all to care, not just Isaac. He wanted Gray to… to be proud of him. He wanted Vera to like him, as fucking idiotic as that sounded. He wanted Tori to stop being so scared of him, to understand that he would never hurt her, now. He wanted Finn and Ellis to… to just accept him. Finn had a little, this morning, when they’d shared that piece of bacon. And Ellis had looked like they wished he would choke on it.

And Sam? Gavin whimpered as he thought about their hand in his during the caning, their hand on his shoulder while he sobbed about losing his father in front of the person his father had raped and terrorized. Sam was the one, maybe the only one, who gave Gavin grace. And Sam was the one who he would have understood the most if they chose to hate him.

Except for Isaac. Gavin would have understood that more. And yet he didn’t want Isaac to hate him. The thought made his chest ache. He’d never wanted to be someone’s friend so badly in his goddamned life.

Gavin whimpered miserably and pressed himself down into the carpet. Wishing the floor would open up to consume him. Wishing he could disappear.

He’d escaped Vera’s bullet, and his mother’s revenge. He’d escaped the life that would have trapped him in an endless cycle of blood and panic and torture. He’d escaped north, where he could be safe from his own people.

He’d escaped into the arms of a family that didn’t want him. He’d escaped one family that lusted for his death, and found another that felt nothing for him at all. He knew he was better off here. He knew he was safer.

He felt like the loneliness would burn him alive.

Continued here

#honor bound 2 #whump #emotional whump #ex-whumper POV #parental abuse tw #parental emotional abuse tw #blood mention tw #isaac's PTSD #Isaac/Gavin #gavin is my bisexual disaster child #in which Gavin is such a dumbass #noncon mention tw #parental death mention tw #my poor dumbass boy #my oc: Gavin

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