#gay grandma speaks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roboticchibitan · 1 year

Text

I remember when same sex marriage was legized in my state (3 years before obergefel vs Hodges which legalized it nationwide). It won by a very narrow margin.

People who had taken care of me when I was young, people who were like second parents to me, (along with half the other people I knew) were saying it was the end times because I could now get married. And I couldn't help but wonder... would those people have protected me, cared for me, let me play with their children, if they had known I would grow up to be queer?

I came out in 2011. I was lucky. My parents were accepting. My mom was clearly uncomfortable at first but she made it clear she loved me no matter what.

Except.

My dad didn't care if I was queer and assured me that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me (in a speech I didn't need to hear but I think he needed to say). But he still said "that's gay" and "that's faggy" anytime my little brother showed vulnerability.

And I was a lucky one. My father used homophobic slurs around me regularly. He turned the word gay into a slur with his homophobic mouth. And I was a lucky one.

When I came out publicly, my grandmother stopped speaking to me for a while. I'm lucky that she changed her mind. I'm lucky that my grandparents let me bring my girlfriend with me when I went to visit them in October. October of 2022 and I still consider myself lucky that my grandparents let my queer partner into their house. My other grandma likewise visited with us, and was polite and friendly, but she still refused to call my gf anything other than "your friend." Still lucky. Incredibly lucky.

People don't understand just how bad things were as much as ten years ago. When I came out at school, I was lucky. No one bullied me. No one shoved me into lockers or called me slurs. They all just stopped talking to me. I became invisible. I went to a small school. I was the only person who was out. Exactly one person talked to me the rest of the year. And I was a lucky one.

When I was in middle and highschool, the go to insult was "that's gay." I heard it constantly. Every day. Sometimes people said it to me to insult me, long before I even knew I was queer.

I was lucky because the worst that happened to me was social isolation and people using slurs around me or turning my identity into a slur. No one called ME faggy. No one beat me up behind the school bleachers. I was incredibly lucky.

I have experienced the word "gay" used as a slur far more than I ever heard the word "queer" used as a slur. Young "queer is a slur and only a slur" people need to know the world you live in is not the world the rest of us live in. Why is "queer" a slur but "gay" isn't? My homophobic father thought the word "gay" conveyed just as much offense and disgust as the word "faggot." So why is queer the horrible word that can never be reclaimed but people say "that's gay" as a compliment now? The loneliest I have ever felt was in a room full of teenagers who thought my identity was the height of insults. So why is gay fine but queer isn't?

I am a fat butch queer and I do not hide that. My shoes have a pride flag on them. I have a masculine haircut and wear men's clothes. I look queer.

And I am afraid. I dress like this anyway, because I want other queer folks to know I am a safe person. I dress how I do partially because I like it but also partially so any queer person in the room, no matter now closeted, can see me and feel a little bit safer. Because I will protect other queer people with my life if need be.

Because I am openly and visibly queer and live in a world where being queer can get you killed. Because it can. Gay bashings still happen. The alt right are getting bolder in their violence, and that includes homophobic/transphobic violence. There are organizations in the US that are actively pushing to make homosexuality punishable by death in Africa. They know they could never accomplish that here. But they would if they could. People want us dead.

Young people need to understand that. And they need to understand that the people who did the most work to free us from criminalization were queer. They identified as queer. And they weren't the perfect law abiding queers toeing the line of what's acceptible. Because being queer itself was illegal. You could end up on the sex offender registry for being gay. In fact, there are queer people who are STILL registered as sex offenders just because they were queer in 2001. Pride wasn't a permitted parade with wells Fargo floats. It was angry queers illegally marching down the streets, screaming "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it."

Being openly queer is a radical act. It is still a radical act.

I did not live through Windsor vs the united states, the referendum 74 debate, my father punishing my brother for being human with homophobic slurs, and the pearl clutching fearmongering about "the gay agenda" (that was a go to phrase for 2012 homophobes) for some LGBT kid to come at me with TERF bullshit they got off tiktok about how my identity is a slur and I'm a horrible person for using it.

I was a lucky one and I'm still saying "no, absolutely not" to this bullshit.

Queer is more inclusive. Queer accounts for any possible fluidity because people change. Identities change. Queer is there for people who know they're Something Different but are not sure of the details yet. Queer is intentionally vague. When you're young you want everyone to know exactly who you are but as you get older you realize actually my identity is none of your business. In fact, sometimes when you tell someone your identity, you're handing them a bludgeon for them to hurt you with.

If you have trans classmates, you do not understand the world the rest of us grew up in. Trans people were not a public topic. They were not even acknowledged as existing by most people. I didn't know what being trans was until I was like 17. I'm nonbinary now and consider myself trans 10 years later.

And I didn't even have it that bad. But you know what? It still sucked and it was still hard and I can't imagine what it was like to grow up a decade before I did. I had it easy compared to most people.

If you can jokingly say "that's gay" when someone expresses queer love, then you can fucking handle people using the word queer as their identity.

The infighting and policing each other has to stop. You're oppressing queer people with this bullshit. It does not matter what words queer people use to describe themselves when there are people actively killing us. What are you doing? For fucks sake look at the bigger picture. Direct all that rage at our oppressors and the people who mean us harm. Queer people and he/him lesbians and bi lesbians and people who use neo pronouns and whoever else is the discourse of the day do not deserve this kind of treatment. Punch a homophobe and maybe you'll feel better.

#tw homophobia #had to go on a rant because I was thinking about how trapped and afraid I felt during the referendum 74 debate #nothing was safe #no one was safe #we are still not safe #discourse

3K notes · View notes

the-worms-in-your-bones · 8 months

Text

Describing each doctor based on how I differentiate them in my head

One: suspiciously inclined to murdering people with rocks

Two: executed by the state for being a fun little guy (no relation to the rock murder thing, they didn’t really care about that)

Three: if you’re not going to be at least a little gay and dramatic about it, why do it at all

Four: creature who is also a man who should probably not be allowed a space/time ship for the health and safety of the universe

Five: someone test this man for something, no one passes out/falls down that much with out there being something going on there

Six: guy with the worlds worst (best) coat

Seven: if a mouse trap could also be an alien with an umbrella

Eight: your grandma loves him, but he will leave her house and commit at least one atrocity that he never speaks of again (he probably forgot)

Nine: a fun guy who very desperately needs a therapist

Ten: was in love once and makes it everyone else’s problem

Eleven: excitable puppy that may or may not also be an eldritch horror (you get to find out the hard way)

Twelve: punk grandpa who want to stop having moral quandaries

Thirteen: excitable puppy who is an eldritch horror, just not in the way she thinks

Fourteen: man gains ability to talk about his emotions for the first time in his very, very long life

#doctor who #dw #first doctor #second doctor #third doctor #fourth doctor #fifth doctor #sixth doctor #seventh doctor #eighth doctor #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor #the doctor #fourteenth doctor

814 notes · View notes

nothorses · 2 months

Note

#idk i have thoughts about the 'binar v. nonbinary' distinction. i think there is a reason#that trans people get degendered when they use binary pronouns#AND wrongly gendered when they use use gender neutral pronouns#for example

i'm intrigued by these thoughts would you like to share more about these thoughts

I think I'd boil it down to like... specifically the idea of "binary trans" people as a class.

I very firmly believe that the oppression of nonbinary people ("exorsexism") exists and is a real form of oppression, and I believe that experiences with it- and the ideological foundation it rests on- are unique and worth discussing. I think nonbinary people have unique experiences with oppression that are necessary to listen to and understand, and that it is to everyone's benefit to include in those perspectives in larger conversations around trans justice.

I specifically take issue with the idea that there is a group of people that can easily & universally be differentiated as "binary trans" in anything but how those people personally identify.

I think that, socio-politically speaking, the only people that are truly classed as "binary" are 100% gender-conforming dyadic cis people. When we're talking about transphobia as a concept, we're talking about a system of oppression meant to punish people who stray from the gender binary. Historically, anyone punished under this system was included under the "trans" umbrella: gender-non conforming cis people, drag kings and queens, nonbinary people, intersex people, you name it. We are all gender outlaws; we all exist outside traditional understandings of gender, and we are all punished for doing so.

Now, we can narrow the scope quite a bit; I do still have the ability to "pass" as my gender, which is not an option to a lot of nonbinary folks. I can get a gender marker that accurately reflects my gender, and I can go "stealth" in a way that doesn't cause me a lot of dysphoria. I absolutely acknowledge that there are experiences I do not have, and oppression I do not face, and I should take care to listen to the people who do face them.

The problem for me here is that like, none of those things are exclusively "binary trans" experiences either. Plenty of nonbinary people are not strictly outside of every binary gender, or outside of comfort with a binary gender presentation. Such is the enormous multitude of nonbinary identities, and the unknowable vastness of human experience.

The other, perhaps larger problem for me is that I also do not strictly have a "binary trans male" experience. I mean, least of all because I have still at this point spent more of my life identifying as nonbinary than I have as a trans man- but also because I'm still trans. In a lot of ways, I'm not actually viewed as "binary"; I am clock-able enough that I'm pretty regularly degendered by even incredibly well-intentioned cis people, for example. My grandma is confused about my gay relationship; she very much does not think it is gay or straight. Anyone who knows I'm a trans man does not think of me as a woman or a man; they think of me as something entirely outside of the binary, and they treat me accordingly.

To go back to the tag you're quoting: I think binary trans people using binary pronouns are degendered for the exact same reason that nonbinary using gender-neutral pronouns are misgendered. People don't want to recognize us as the genders we are. They don't want to validate an experience of gender that lies outside their tidy little gender binary.

Again: this doesn't mean that exorsexism isn't real, or even that "there is no such thing as a binary trans woman/man". That's not what I'm saying. I want to keep having discussions about the unique experiences nonbinary people have, and the unique ways in which transphobic society treats and targets them, and the unique oppression they suffer, and why, and how we can fight that.

I also don't think I'm the first person by far to point out that maybe the idea of The Binary Trans Experience should be problematized a little bit, and I think there's something to be said for the funky space that "binary trans people" occupy on the good-little-gender-conforming-cis-person to nonbinary continuum.

#if anyone uses this to justify erasure of nonbinary people or oppression #i just want you to know that i am shooting you with a gun.

158 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

Note

WIBTA if I tried to find out different synagogues' general attitudes on Zionism before converting?

I (late 20s) was raised Christian, but moved well away from that faith after being berated by my homophobic preacher grandma for supporting gay rights (she didn't know I myself was gay at the time). Currently I'd say I'm mostly agnostic, I don't have any strong feelings towards things like whether god exists or what the afterlife is like or anything like that, mostly I am just curious.

I've been interested in Judaism for a while for a lot of reasons. Mainly because, as far as I can figure, the idea of asking questions and debating meanings and forming your own opinion on these topics is actually encouraged unlike in Christianity, where it was a lot of being told not to question god and all that. I've wanted to try converting and seeing if that all feels right to me, but haven't been able to because I don't live somewhere with much of a Jewish population or any synagogues. However, I'll soon be moving to a city that does have a few options for that.

Here's the question: I know that asking individual Jewish people their stance on Israel is inherently antisemitic. I know that just because someone is Jewish doesn't mean they're a Zionist. And I know there's been a lot of antisemitism lately among the discourse surrounding the ongoing Palestinian genocide. However, if I'm going to be joining a community of Jewish people who are gathering because of that, there could very well be some strong feelings one way or another among them. I've also seen a lot of "online conversion" sites (which I've been informed are not reliable) that focus heavily on helping converts Visit To Their New Homeland Of Israel which...again, I know these services aren't reliable, but the way it was emphasized as ~part of the process~ rubbed me the wrong way, and I have no idea how reflective these sites are of actual IRL Jewish communities in general.

Basically, I worry that in my pursuit of conversion, I'll end up within a community of mostly people who support Israel, and if that's the case I'd rather know sooner or later. I know (or, I suppose, people on jumblr have said) that it's practically impossible to get a whole group of Jewish people who agree on any one thing within their faith but I'm betting there are communities who more or less agree on certain things. So WIBTA (A for antisemite in this case ig) if, when speaking to different rabbis, I asked about the general attitude on Zionism within the congregation(? if that's the word for it??) Is there any way to go about it politely?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

115 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 9 months

Text

This Week in BL - Bunch of Stuff Coming in August

July 2023 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 2-3 of 8 - Oh good, we now know that Thailand has the same statutory rape laws as the US. Dub con is as dub con does. MEANWHILE Oh my God I love evil lawyer cutie so much. Him and his beautiful weaponized smile, maybe my new favorite character. I like the way this director is playing with noir mystery tropes, settings, and archetypes too - it’s feeling very 60s pulp, I’m getting gay Travis McGee vibes. Grandma knowing that her grandson likes boys is so sweet. I have to be completely frank here, this is what I wanted from both Manner of Death and KP. I truly love this show

Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 3 of 10 - It’s a very Cyrano de Bergerac kind of narrative... If Cyrano fell in love with Christian instead of Roxanne. Mock date was fun.

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - Into the lion’s den. Investigation begins. Why isn’t the ghost acting lookout? Who are these random side characters? I’m confused. Half way through kiss is right on schedule tho.

Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 2 of 7 - The kiss was nice, but it’d be nicer if Nuea had punched Lom. Manipulative arse. A trash watch is happening!

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 4 of 12 - Meh.

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 eps - The hazing has begun + secret relationship and it’s kinda like a v soft SOTUS. Dino is getting a bit too controlling and obsessive for me so it slid down the ranks. I much prefer La Cusine’s version of this dynamic. The friends protecting Dino’s interests were funny tho - boy is so obsessed he outsources his stalking.

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 10 of 12 - Max is BEST BOY. I hate Kawi. Tra la la. Trash watch here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 2 of 8 - Our ex idol is a total FLIRT. Nice to see an uke with agency. I mean baby girl is a newbie worker bee… but still flirty, good for you, sweetie. I see your little lip bite and so does your soon to be husband. Speaking of, I love Choi Jun’s style of seme aggression: a little sleezy + a bit too handsy + ultra clever with his words. Plus tie tug!!! Also threatening to take off your TAILORED suit so baby wears your shirt and smells like you? HOT. Boy you sped right past American style and into Italian - that’s real Corinthian leather, that is.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 5 of 10 eps - Mid series kiss right on schedule. Thank you for never upsetting me, Taiwan. Omg. Such boyfriends. Only Taiwan gets this sappy. I have to say, I watch this show after Tokyo on purpose. (I need the pallet cleanser.) Still, I’m scared that the perception will be that Bu Xia is using Jiang Chi, not in love with him, when the truth about ghosts comes out. Why doesn’t BX’s useless sister do something for her disaster brother? I guess JC likes a needy boy? Oh no, the kiss confusion. Lip touch but rejection (?). Nooooo. I suppose they have to draw this out for 10 eps. Gah, they’re so cute. But BX is a bit dim, isn’t he? Poor thing.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 4 of 12 eps - Shin is such a worrywart, over protective, over the top boyfriend. I guess we saw a little bit of give from Minato? More than usual, baby steps. This is Japan after all.

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - Japan’s favorite trope = the running of the gays. Kazama knows everything now. Ep ends on one of my few triggers. SKIP! Japan you better NOT go there.

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 11-12fin - terrible ending, he turned back into a cat and the whole thing was pointless. I am very annoyed. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED

It’s airing but ...

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

In case you missed it

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) finished its run at 7 eps. It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I did not bother. I say little to no chatter about this (that’s normal with the Pinoy stuff tho). Did anyone watch and enjoy?

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming August 2023

8/1 Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 5 eps - Yes we have had BL from Hong Kong before, but that was... before... who knows what it’ll be like now. Hayden, moves into a new apartment and starts a complicated relationship with his neighbor’s grandson, Damien, after an unexpected kiss. Meanwhile: Archie rekindles a romance with his high school sweetheart, Kelvin, who is now married.

8/11 Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps - Hyun, Minwoo and Joo-Hyuk are looking forward to their freshman year at college. But trials and tribulations of love that await them outside the classroom: from learning about maturity to being unable to forget the scars of past lovers. (All new cast from season 1.)

8/12 My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat ????) 8 eps - hum.

8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) ? eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together.

8/20 My Universe series begins (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 episodes - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 episodes, not entirely sure on the order they’ll drop in. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, mostly fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct several.

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, I’m thinking Viki or Gaga will get this one.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie domestic cinemas) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. Tong is in this one too?

8/? Sing My Crush previously Follow The Wind (Korea ????) 8 eps - supposed to have released in the first half of 2022 this is a adaption of Myung’s webtoon, from the director of My Sweet Dear, and the Love Tractor production house, looks like Korea does About Youth.

8/? Why R U? (Korean remake) is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

We can probably expect a new BL from GMMTV too, to slot into BMF’s spot mid month.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I do love a hyung romance, and this aggressive ghost-ish thing is working for me. (Low Frequency)

Hidden Agenda + My Ride.

So coy

I agree with @heretherebedork that these two make a great side couple but I am utterly in love with...

HER. (All Laws of Attraction.)

(Last week)

159 notes · View notes

fictionalmenxyn · 1 year

Text

Incorrect Quotes

—

Y/n: Hey can I tell you a joke?

Ghost: go on..

Y/n: what’s a dj’s favourite sauce?

Ghost: What is it?

Y/n: *giggles* mera nera (Marinara)

Ghost: *proud of Y/n*

—

*Soap and Gaz casually watching Tv*

*Y/n walking through the hallway while watching TikTok’s*

Y/n: *with headphones on* I’m gunna kill my mom.. I’m gunna kill my dad

Soap: what I’m god name..

Y/n: I’m gunna my grandma

Soap: what is she up to??

Gaz: it’s a TikTok sound don’t worry

Soap: a what?

Gaz: it’s a sound thing.. uh just don’t worry it’s fake

Soap: *drops eyebrow raise* right..

Soap&Gaz: …

Soap: I’m old right

Gaz: *quickly responds* yeah

—

Y/n: two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cuz they aren’t gay

Soap: Ghost is my boyfriend??

Ghost:.. you forgot didn’t you?

Y/n: pff noo.. maybe.. ok yeah fine just for a second..

Soap: *laughs*

(Saw something like this off of Pinterest I didn’t copy them I did change it so it was different I just used this vine and also thought it had fitted well for these three)

—

Y/n: *whispers* ok Alejandro we need to place these *suggests hand grenades* with the rope so it will set it off when he opens his door

Alejandro: *whispers back* sound like a plan amiga (friend)

*Y/n and Alejandro grab a piece of rope and a grenade each*

*hears door open*

Graves: uhh what are you doing

Y/n: *hides rope and grenade* nothing that may concern you, Graves

Graves: *raises eyebrow*

*hears some saucy TikTok edit sound*

Y/n: what you watching in there Graves??

Alejandro: sounds a bit odd if you ask me

Y/n: agreed

Graves: uh.. uh nothing leave me alone

Y/n: your on my sus radar

Graves: WHAT WHY

Y/n: Run!

*Y/n and Alejandro runs off most likely to Ghost or Price for protection*

—

Y/n: I have a question..

Ghost: Go on..

Y/n: if an animal were to speak what one would be the most scary?

Soap: a chihuahua

Ghost: what?

Soap: how you ever been with one they are vicious little things

Ghost: I would’ve said a goblin shark

Y/n: well at least one of us gave a decent answer..

Soap: THEY ARE VICIOUS OK?! *gets flashbacks from getting chased by one*

—

Gaz: hey Price do you know updog?

Price: updog?

Y/n: yeah do you know updog?

Price: what’s updog?

Gaz: nothing much? You?

Gaz&Y/n: *bursts out laughing*

Price: *confused* kids today..

—

Y/n: Gaz let’s fight!

Gaz: why? Is there a reason?

Y/n: idk? What’s your favourite animal?

Gaz: uhh probably a chameleon?

Y/n: fuck chameleons!

Gaz: WATCH IT YOU!

—

Hi! I will be double posting today as I may or may not post tomorrow as it will be my birthday! I have had some requests which I’m currently working on. Still feel free to request anything you would like to see or anything that comes to mind. Have a good day/night! :D

#task force 141 #task force 141 x y/n #cod x reader #platonic task force 141 x y/n #task force 141 x y/n memes #cod mw2 #cod modern warfare #incorrect quotes #incorrect mw2 quotes

321 notes · View notes

your-gay-grandma · 1 year

Text

hello and welcome to my blog website!

i am your gay grandma! i’ve recently returned from a rather long step away from the internet but wanted to return as a means to spread positivity and information and provide a safe space for queer and marginalised people!

things to know:

this blog is a safe space for all people BUT! on the one condition that you and your interactions with this space do not harm yourself or others. this includes your ideology — if it puts you or other people at risk or incites hate, it is not welcome.

i intend to spread positivity, information and history in this space and provide a welcome environment for everyone!

this tends to mostly be about queer things but i also love art, history, literature, cats, knitting soup, baking and sewing. we can talk about anything and everything here!

you are always welcome to send me asks or messages! i may be a little slow to respond to them but i do my best. if i don’t get to something you’ve sent, i either didn’t receive it or i haven’t got to it yet. please know i still care greatly.

my pronouns are they/them (though pronouns don’t bother me very much)

i am a very proud and joyous lesbian! i take great delight in the fact that being a lesbian informs my world and the way i see and navigate it.

i am also disabled and have been my entire life. i take great pride in this also and like to speak about it to make it easier for others to do so!

please enjoy your stay! there’s tea in the pot, soup on the stove, bread in the oven and an empty chair for you. i’ve got jeremy’s computer all afternoon. you’re safe here.

#pinned post #lgbtq #lgbt #gay #lesbian #lgbtqai #queer #sapphic #wlw #bisexual #transgender #mlm #pansexual #gayng #funny #positivity #trans #asexual #lgbtq community #lol #your gay grandma

160 notes · View notes