i don’t know if its a widespread issue but i hate when gay guys and trans guys are used as a token.
i’ve been part of the fandom since before i came out as trans. there was this group of girls in the fandom that i was sorta friends with but more so mutuals. anyways, they never really talked with me. but the SECOND i came out as a trans guy and said i was gay, all of a sudden i was interesting enough for them. they started screaming out of excitement and saying we would be best friends and suddenly wanting to hang out on servers and chats all the time.
i saw the weird timing of it all immediately but chose to ignore it cuz i was a lonely bitch at the time and felt the need to bow down to other people’s needs and wants in order to maintain friendships.
flash forward a few months when one of their friends started bullying me and being transphobic. the girls immediately went to defend that person saying he was a good guy and that what he was doing wasn’t transphobic and i had no right to call it that (imagine that! a trans person having the right to say what’s transphobic, and NOT some cishet girls feeling like they have the right to determine that!) and that i never should have corrected this guy on pronouns they screwed up on (despite the fact that i said it politely). cuz apparently his ego is too small for mistakes? lmfao. and the person i felt closest to in the friend group completely ignored me after this all went down and never reached out after i was sobbing over experiencing transphobia.
anyways, we’re obviously not friends anymore! looking back i just thought this whole chain of events was weird. us trans/gay men are PEOPLE. we’re not a pawn or a token or a pet you’ve always wanted. and no matter how many times you scream ‘trans rights!’ or are a part of the drag fandom, if you can’t stand with us when experiencing hate acts and instead act like you can silence us, it just shows how we’re only valued as tokens and entertainment.
and i will never EVER in a million years bring my worth back down to where i’m another token friend.
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