#gays against aphobia

[decolonize-the-left]

Ive seen an influx in posts asking the LGBT community to hold itself accountable for ace/aro bigotry and they're fucking right.

How are we supposed to hold homophobes and transphobes accountable and demand they do better when we won't even do that for each other?

We're a community right? A family who's supposed to look out for each other? What happened to everyone being valid? Is a sibling saying "you hurt me, please correct it somehow" not valid?

For my part I'll admit I was part of this.

I was on the side of the asexual exclus back in the late 00's/early 10's. I was deep in the belief that oppression had to be systematic in order to count and at the time I didn't see any systematic oppression faced by aces. I even identified as ace and I didn't consider myself oppressed for being asexual. I saw the hostility and vitriol directed at aces everyday...but I didn't see it as wrong. I didn't see it as bigotry. I saw it as righteous anger.

I know how awful things were because I was one of the people making them that way. There is Real trauma that was experienced. There's no fucking way that a normal person could be invalidated that much and take the vitriolic bigotry aces/aros did everyday and have it not leave a lasting impact.

I fucked up. That was wrong and awful of me and I'm genuinely so fucking sorry.

I see the broken trust and promises between us now in 2023 and I see how shattered the community is and it's partly my fault. That gap is there because of me and people like me.

We should have loved and supported and welcomed you. We should have saw the way you were being treated and said something. You deserved to be protected and loved and supported from people who treated you that way.

And you weren't. We didn't. And it was normalized.

We absolutely fucking failed you as a community and as human beings. I need to own that. And I need to be one of the first people to trying to repair that.

And I know an apology is barely even a first step and I know it's just a drop in a giant bucket but I am sorry. For everything it's worth to you, I'm sorry.

Because of me and people like me you experienced the kind of identity trauma that typically only homophobes are capable of. And you experienced it at the hands of the community that's supposed to be fighting specifically that sort of ignorance against a-typical sexualities.

We fucked up

And it'd just be hypocritical salt in the wound if 10+ years later we ignored your asks for accountability and didn't do anything about it when it's resurfacing.

So yeah.

I was a bigot. I hurt people. I hurt my own community. I thought I was right and I wasn't. I was wrong. And so is everyone who insists on continuing that today.

There is no excuse or justification for it. I thought there was too but I was wrong and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making up for it.

Whatever justification you find for treating people with a-typical sexualities and genders is shit. It has no leg to stand on and it sure as hell isn't being done for the sake of the community.

The LGBT community was founded not by people with checklists on how to be a Good Gay or Acceptable trans woman but by people being treated like shit for who they were choosing to love or not love. It was founded by people who's gender didn't fit in cishet boxes. It was founded by people who just wanted to be free to exist as themselves.

You can't treat asexuals or aros or bisexuals or pansexuals like shit and say that it's in the name of the LGBT community.

It's not.

It spits in the face of everything our community is supposed to be and it's time someone besides aces and aros said it.

None of us should be okay with how they're treated and all of us should be part of stopping it

#aces #aros #asexuality #queer history #asexual history #i threw in the others because the bigotry for them back then overlapped a LOT #i didnt personally have a hand in anything against the other identities mentioned but itd be wrong not to include them i think #lgbt #queer #ace discourse #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #asexual #aromantic #lgbt history #aphobe #aphobia #aphobic

[sillywetkittenincardboardbox]

i think we need to support characters in stories having changing gender identities.

i feel like people in fandoms are soo hung up over the ideas that "he *has* to be bisexual because he kissed a woman once" or that "they CANT be aromantic/asexual/aroace because they dated someone!"

no!! they can be! people change, and i feel like forcing characters to be one thing or another solely because this or that is harmful to us!

i think it reflects in tbe way we treat people!

someone who says stuff like

"CHARACTER cant be LESBIAN because she kissed a boy earlier in the series!"

"CHARACTER cant be AROMANTIC because they(re) DATED/DATING someone!"

"CHARACTER cant be BISEXUAL because theyve only shown intrest in BOYS"

"CHARACTER cant be NONBINARY because they use THESE PRONOUNS!"

will be more inclined to say

"Oh! Susan cant be a lesbian because she dated that fine lad awhile back!"

"Aha, Brian isnt nonbinary because he uses he/him pronouns!"

stuff like that!!

pleasepleaseplease i just think we need more representation of like. characters who think theyre one flag/sexuality/gender but realise theyre another.

i also think we need to keep this in mind!!

also this does not apply to characters like willow who have been confirmed as pansexual.

[iamcringe-butiamfree]

hey can raging aphobes get out of the Hazbin fandom please :D /srs

just saw one person try to claim that the scene in the beginning of episode one where Alastor says “not gonna happen” to Angel’s p*rn video suggestion was violating to Angel Dust, not Alastor. they then proceeded to say that “asexuals claiming that this was ‘good ace rep’ are ignoring the blatant wh*rephobia that Alastor is showing in this scene” (not even kidding that is the actual word they used)

maybe? some people??? just don’t like sexual remarks made about them like that????? even if they��re NOT asexual???????

and they seem to be just. incredibly aphobic in general. they seem to disregard the fact that sex-repulsed aces exist (talking about them in quotations “like this” in a derogatory way as if we’re not real) and are really hostile to anyone who tries to reason with them - reblogging their responses with what are practically essays on why THEY’RE right and the other person MUST be wrong

anyways sorry for the rant. i’m just pissed lol

#also they bring ableism into it so often?? because apparently they’re a wheelchair user #and they always find a way to say “you’re being ableist” in conversations when there was literally zero ableism involved whatsoever #like cmon. chill out :/ #it’s like that one “it’s homophobic because i’m gay and it’s inconveniencing me” quote but they’re being completely serious about it #also they seem to be adamant on minors not interacting with them #but then go through the blogs of minors who interact on accident and diss on their interests based on what they saw on their blog?? #and they think it’s a compelling argument?? lmao get real you’re just bullying them at this point #anyways i blocked them so they shouldn’t see this lol #and if they DO then they’re block evading! the very thing they claim to be against :) #hazbin hotel #alastor #angel dust #tw aphobia

[shadowedresolve]

also. should i make a persona 5 oc. place ur votes now. more details in the tags so if you're interested, i'd appreciate your input!

#ooc #specifically; for a game about outcasts; it's often a point of criticism that p5 doesn't tackle lgbt issues at all (or worse; is bigoted #in itself) and i agree with that criticism #the game still has a lot of good points to make don't get me wrong but. #i think it'd be fun to create an oc who's outcast (like the other PTs) from society due to their gender or sexuality #and who rebels against society's bigotry and accepts themselves; similarly to the other pts. however. #i do worry about being a cis woman writing about gender or even writing about sexuality when discrimination isn't something i've experience #myself. (i'm aroace; and a-spec people definitely do experience significant amounts of harm from bigotry imo; but i personally have been #very lucky.) #I kind of feel like it's not my place to write a character who's strongly impacted by these issues as a result?? out of fear of talking ove #actual lgbt voices; i suppose. this mostly applies to if i decided to write a trans character; i think. #so i'm asking for your opinions I suppose. #i'm very tired so i apologize if i worded any of this awkwardly as well; feel free to ask for clarification if i've been unclear #tl;dr i would love to make a gay trans woman phantom thief but i worry it's not my place to write a character to whom #their struggles with the exclusion they face from society are a major part of their character #as a cis woman who's faced little discrimination herself. #homophobia mentions tw // #transphobia mentions tw // #aphobia mentions tw //

[timeisacephalopod]

Hate those posts that are unironically like "I enjoy clowning people who comment that This Post doesn't acknowledge their experience because Every Single Experience Ever can't fit in a POST sweaty" because like ok. Doing that, pointing out how someone's framework or understanding didn't encompass another groups is literally how intersectionality came into being, but sure, clown on people for pointing out Steaming Status Quo Opinions might need some questioning while acting as if this is progressive I'm sure we'll get somewhere acting like this.

#winters ramblings #and its ALWAYS in response to asexual people telling people in the wider community that their thoughts on sexuality #largely ignore or OUTRIGHT NEGATE their experience of sexuality #im sure this is Very Progressive when you do it though 🙄🙄 #not a weapon you use against people whose thoughts you think have no value not at all cant possible be #no one likes their privilege being questioned but BOY does this type of aphobia piss me off #especially from people whod fucking SHRIEK if they were on the recieving end of it #we dont rell gay people straight people cant possibly EVER account for their experience EVER #we call the prevelance of One Type Of Relationship being promoted heteronormativity #compulsory sexuality is the same stop getting pissed off when people point it out to you as if its PAINFUL #for you to acknowledge maybe YOUR experiences aren't universal and SHOULD be questioned #cant be doing that though youd actually have to consider what asexual people jave to say about sexuality

[cl0ckworkqueerness]

[trigger warning: mention of sexual assault]

the specific breed of queer queerphobia is just as if not more frightening than non-queer queerphobia, specifically in this case as it relates to acespec/arospec people (terms which will hence be combined into "aspec" for the sake of clarity, see the tags for a quick note about this)

if it's not already clear from my posts, i am very supportive of the silenced, erased, and shunned parts of the queer community. i involve myself a great deal in breaking down the walls that queer people have decided to erect in order to determine who does and doesn't get to call themselves "queer". nothing breaks my heart more than seeing other people who experience the world in a way starkly different from perisex, allosexual, alloromantic, cisgender, heterosexual people, get shunned from a family who also experiences the world in such a difference way, simply because it's not different "enough", or not different in the way they want to be different

aspec people will always unquestionably be queer, regardless of anything else that would or wouldn't make them queer. period.

aspec people should not and should never need to "justify" themselves to attend pride, not just "as an ally", but as someone whose relationship with romance and sex (the act) differs from what is expected of a "normal" person. they are inherently different, they are inherently queer. full stop.

aphobia exists, regardless of whether or not you follow your blatant bigotry with "no it doesn't". you cannot erase your shittiness by following up your shittiness with "by the way, I'm not being shitty". and if you know you are being aphobic, and you are proud of such a thing, rethink the way you see queerness as a whole. you are a vile human being, and should unlearn the oppression olympics. you not only are an athlete in it, but you are the obstacles. you are the fucking problem.

aspec people regularly face discrimination and harassment for being aspec. the comments of "why do you refuse to give me grandkids" and "maybe you just haven't found the right person yet" and "you're broken" and "you're going through a phase" have all been said about gay people, about lesbians, and about aspec people. aspec people face violence for being aspec. aspec people face corrective rape for being aspec. aspec people face crocodile tears claws that intend to "help", aspec people face blood and claws that intend to hurt, aspec people face real, visible hatred. and even if they weren't "oppressed enough", WHICH THEY UNDENIABLY ARE, 1) there isn't an oppression goal someone needs to hit to become valid, and 2) queer people should not be defined by the oppression we face, anyway.

"b-b-but what about cishet asexual people!!!" i have never seen a sentence less scary in my life. cishet people can be queer, you know? cishet people can be intersex (if they choose to identify as queer), cis people can be asexual and aromantic, pericishet people can in fact be demisexual and heteroromantic, and guess what? they're still queer. they still differ from what's "normal". they're still allowed to pride, because pride is not meant to gatekeep.

pride is meant to celebrate our differences, to fight against those who try to suppress us, and to unite those who feel crushed by the heel of normality.

so don't fucking do their job for them.

#not gender related #asexual #aromantic #acespec #arospec #aspec #acephobia #arophobia #aphobia #note: #i don't know when i saw this or if this person was being serious but i saw someone say that ''aspec'' is actually used to refer to the #autism spectrum and should not be used for ace/aro people and instead should be replaced with acespec and arospec? #as an autistic person who is autistic in such a way that makes it literally impossible for me to mask this is absolutely stupid. #i have NEVER seen this used for autistic people however i HAVE seen it been used as a ''correction'' for ace and aro people seeking #community and support from one another. #i don't know if that's still a thing people say but just in case anyone does: No

[colorisbyshe]

Feel free to ignore this because I’m sure you’re well beyond tired of “ace discourse” at this point but I’m curious if you’ve seen the recent studies claiming that asexuals are more likely to be offered conversion therapy than LGBT people, and if you have any thoughts on it?

Means absolutely nothing to me because in this context... it's clear no one involved knows what the term "conversion therapy" means, as aces have been watering down the term for almost a decade now, making it to mean "any attempt to change your sexuality" which has ALSO been watered down to mean "any ace being asked if they have depression, sexual trauma, or possibly a hormonal condition and if they want treatment for that."

Conversion therapy (in the context of sexuality, not gender which is similar but not identical, though it often involves sexuality based CT as well) is a fairly specific thing--it involves some authoritative figure (a "therapist," a priest, an "ex gay guru") trying to do two things--erase same gender attraction, often through forcing the person to associate it with shame/pain/disgust/nausea, and to force them to act as it they experience "correct" attraction.

Conversion therapy is often viewed as "successful" if only the first step is complete. As in, the person comes out unable to enjoy/experience/recognize their same gender attraction. They could go the rest of their life celibate, not dating, not marrying and it is successful enough. Best case scenario, they can marry someone of the "right" gender, MAYBE have sex, MAYBE have kids but... the lack of tangible gayness is enough. (NO, I am not saying conversion "therapists" want people to identify as asexual or aromantic, just that they don't mind if gay and bisexual people feel NO attraction/desires when they are done with them.)

Understanding conversion therapy is about destroying sexual attraction, romantic attraction in gay and bisexual people means it is impossible to link up with anti-ace "conversion therapy." There is none. There is no organization or group vying for people to experience sexual attraction in that way. Who are tormenting, abusing people into feeling attraction.

This is especially obvious when you realize... that the argument because "There are organizations that want gay and bisexual asexuals to experience sexual attraction." Run by who? Where? What are they doing to force gay people to want to have sex?

Like... is this just for straight aces then? Can you name a single group in the world that believes in conversion therapy that WANTS gay sexual desires? Gay romantic desire?

So, conversion therapy for aces doesn't exist. Not any systemic level. Are aces being abused, harassed via rape culture? Sure but that isn't conversion therapy.

What aces often claim is the hypothetical "HSDD diagnosis, which Ive debunked as aphobia... years ago.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder is a SUDDEN LOSS of sexual attraction COMBINED with DISTRESS at said sudden loss. The DSM EXPLICITLY has an exception for lifelong HSDD--if you have never experienced sexual attraction, no one cares. If you experience DISTRESS at lack of *libido*, doctors may offer exploring potential help on that front... and counseling to accept that maybe you never will.

There is no forced, coercive treatment. If you experience sudden loss of sexual desires (LIBIDO, NOT ATTRACTION), they may test for depression, hormonal changes, cancer, and other potential causes... if you want them to. You're offered counseling for the distress.

HSDD is the type of shit men get viagra for.

Surveys like this are suggesting being prescribed viagra is conversion therapy.

Honestly, the fact that the survey is about conversion therapy being OFFERED, when often it is a COERCIVE practice against minors or vulnerable adults in faith settings, is kinda all the proof you need that what they are discussing is not conversion therapy.

But rather an uncomfortable moment at the doctors where the doctor asks questions they don't like, just to rule out potential health issues.

ANYWAYS ANY ATTEMPT TO ARGUE WITH ME WILL JUST BE MET WITH MY TARGET WISHLIST. I ALSO DON'T WANT ANONS AGREEING WITH ME. I WANT THIS TO BE ONE AND DONE POST

#ace discourse #HSDD #conversion therapy #most claims of aphobia involve intentionally #misusing terminology #to frame anti-ace experiences as ONLY/specifically anti-ace #or as worse than they actually are #it's almost all appropriative #to the expense of the groups theyre claiming to share experiences with

[the-gay-disney-games]

Ok I’ve decided I’m gonna hop on the tournament bandwagon so here I go!

Hello, and welcome to The Gay Disney Games, where we pit creations of the homophobic company against each other to see who gives off the most queer vibes. I’m planning to hold a few different tournaments over the summer, but the one I’m planning to start with is…

What is the most queer-coded Disney movie?

Rules:

It’s not just gay vibes! Anything under the lgbtq umbrella is good! (ie. Mulan being trans coded)

Only Disney and Pixar movies! So no Marvel or Star Wars or whatever else

No bigotry of any kind- especially homophobia, transphobia, or aphobia (this is an lgbtq tourney it’s an all or nothing deal)

Sequels and remakes are able to be submitted, but the spot will likely go to whichever movie in the franchise received the most submission

Beauty and the Beast (1991) is already in, since it’s what inspired me to make the tournament, so you don’t have to submit it!

Submissions Form

Tagging for exposure: @who-do-i-know-this-man @tnt-tourney @character-of-all-time @handsomestwomantournament @autismxadhdtournament @autismswagsummit @sea-animal-bracket @stem-sister-scuffle @mfshipbracket @fuckingstupidbracket @ultimate-word-tournament @ultimate-blorbo-bracket @tournament-winners-tournament @bestanimatedmovie @the-queer-classic-lit-ship-ever @the-nobody-tournament @worlds-worst-dad-competition

and for good measure @tournamentdirectory

#tournament #lgbtq #disney

[sharada-n]

I think one of the most disgusting things ever is how real concerns about aphobia and its effects have been reduced in so many queer spaces to 'cringy ace discourse' to an extent that I cannot discuss the very real aphobia I experience without getting some fucking 13-14 year old who has never picked up a book on queer history once in their fucking life telling me my lived experiences aren't real and we're trying to 'invade their community'.

And even a lot of other non-exclusionist queer people are too cowardly to speak out against it or say they "don't care about the ace discourse".

How fucked up is that? Can you imagine taking that stance on any other issue of bigotry? "Oh I don't care about race discourse" or "oh I don't care about gay discourse". Somebody who did that would rightfully be called out on bullshit! Can you imagine somebody posting they're "not pro or anti gay people, I don't engage with that silly discourse uwu"

#shut up shara #sorry it's 2023 and I just had to block a mutual I actually liked for aphobia #how is this still a thing

[doberbutts]

That post of yours also makes me think of how much exclusionist rhetoric is centered around the assumption that, for example, only people who are gay or lesbian are ever impacted by homophobia. That kind of thinking is not only incorrect, but also gives way too much credit to homophobes who do not, it turns out, have a nuanced and informed view of sexuality and gender.

Homophobes don't think in terms of "we are cis and allo and straight, and this other group is made up of people who are gay, pan, bi, ace, aro, trans, nonbinary, intersex, and any other number of labels under the queer umbrella". They think in terms of "we are normal and good, and this other group is different and bad."

I recall that one incident about the parents who kicked their asexual teenage son out of their home because they thought he was gay, and tons of exclusionists were insisting, "No, no, this isn't aphobia, this isn't discriminating against asexual people, this is misdirected homophobia, gay people are still the only ones being oppressed." Like, okay buddy, call it whatever you want, but this asexual teenager is still homeless now.

The sort of people who commit these hate crimes think in such rigidly binary terms. That man is attracted to men? It doesn't matter that he's also attracted to women, he's gay. That man doesn't want to have sex with women? It doesn't matter that he doesn't want to have sex with men either, he's gay. Oh, that man IS dating and having sex exclusively with a woman, but that woman was assigned male at birth? Gay. They're all gay, and we must hate them all for it.

Exclusionists will claim that ace people or bi people or trans people who don't medically transition or who are non-dysphoric aren't queer enough to be in queer spaces, don't face the same level of oppression, and meanwhile homophobes are more than happy to hate crime anyone who doesn't fit their narrow definitions of what is acceptable. The people who are beating up a man for being gay aren't going to stop upon being informed he's actually polysexual. They'll say "close enough" and continue beating him up.

Exactly. But then again many of these people refuse to consider a different perspective than their own.

I have an ace friend who, due to her solid lack of interest in men [or anyone] was assumed to be a lesbian by her boss. Her boss who turned out to be a sexual predator and preyed on three different female coworkers about her age [read: significantly younger than him] and was eventually fired for it. Her boss that, when she revealed she was dating a man at the time, admitted he had considered pursuing her as well but was discouraged by her lack of attraction and if he had known she could be "turned" he would have struck while the iron was hot, so to speak.

Is that not a combination of lesbiphobia, misogyny, acephobia, toxic masculinity? That he wanted this girl young enough to be his grand daughter to the point that he thought he could bully his way into her bed after seeing that she was not interested in being pursued? It doesn't matter that he was wrong about her being a lesbian. It doesn't matter that she could have just as easily been with a woman instead of a man. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have any understanding of the concept of asexuality. Here was a young woman who *could potentially* be swayed by power dynamics and/or alcohol, and thus she was added to his list of potential conquests.

Her identity, her feelings, her emotions, her life doesn't matter. What matters is that he was a predator and she was highlighted as possible prey the second he thought he might be able to convince her to accept his magic Dick Of Turning.

How do I know all this? He was my boss too. And I saw firsthand some of the things he did. Thankfully, as said, he was eventually caught in the act and fired for it, but not before he terrorized multiple female employees.

[kooldewd123]

“aphobia” as a word for discrimination against aro-spec/ace-spec folks never sounds right to me. since the "a-" prefix in the context of asexuality/aromanticism represents negation, just taking it and slapping it onto "phobia" makes me read it as a lack of prejudice instead and it always takes me a moment to readjust myself. “acephobia” is much clearer in intention but unfortunately doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. “arophobia” is my favorite option linguistically, but it's underdiscussed as a term compared to the other two and simply doesn't feel like it has the same immediate recognition.

anyway the point i’m trying to make here is that i really enjoy the joke of gay people calling every minor inconvenience homophobic and i'm annoyed that i don’t have a satisfying aroace analogue to use on myself. this is so aphobic.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #lgbt #queer #koolmathgames.com

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

The fire emblem fandom believe itself to be open and LGBT friendly but it's not.

There's this type of people who dismiss gay ship like Chrom x M!Robin or Marianne x Hilda by saying they're just friends or like siblings and despite always saying that for gay ship and never for straight ship, they keep maintaining that there's no homophobia at play... Once had one of the very same person with such stance, defended by the other too, ask me in DM if I was raped as a kid because I'm gay.

There's this slightly popular artist who portray lesbian as predatory all the time, who get into argument to say Shamir is straight and who immediately changed his OC design once someone pointed out they had the color of the bi flag with not even the slighest pushback.

There's all those M!Edeleth fan who act like it's a great injustice that the gay version is more popular. I saw them getting confronted, one them went on rant about modern feminism and one of them that was a mod banned one of the comment for being "scathing to straight guy".

There's all those conservative twitter user with the vatican flag in their name and a fire emblem pfp which stance I don't think I need to describe.

There was this harassment campaign towards a F!Edeleth fic on Tumblr and AO3.

There was pushback against a M!Dimileth fanzine because it didn't include F!Dimileth.

This is only a bunch of personal experience, but this type of stuff is common in the fandom and it's genuinely sad. I didn't mention other relating to aphobia or transphobia because it's already a long ask, but those are just as present, why does it have to be like that?

.

#homophobia ment #fe #fire emblem #fandom takes

[wherefore-whinnies]

tl;dr if you say things like "there's no heterosexual/platonic explanation for this" or "historians will say they were roommates" or think a character not wanting romance/friendship is a thing to be fixed or think that actions are inherently romantic without considering the intent behind them or insist that ace attorney is ~the gay lawyer game~ or a whole variety of other aphobic behaviour that's been normalized in fandom please either unfollow me or commit to learning about aspec people and amatonormativity and changing your behaviour.

I've had people tell me stuff like "I'm sure most people in your fandoms are nice, decent people! if you just tell them about the things they do that are harmful I'm sure they will listen and try to change!" and "if you just sit there and feel bad about it nothing will ever change! not with that attitude!" about amatonormativity in fandom and like okay would you like to take on that responsibility then? would you like to try to educate people on how the basic way they engage with fandom is blatantly erasing a whole group of queer people? would you like to be the person telling a bunch of people who think the way they engage with fandom is so progressive and good that actually it's really not? would you like to bring up the word aphobia in regards to the things they post and bring to mind completely relevant parallels with things like homophobia and transphobia that they think they're above?

aro people get dogpiled and subjected to hate and mistreatment online just for saying they'd like to see more platonic friendships in media. ace people get dogpiled and subjected to hate and mistreatment online just for saying they don't like how unnecessary sex scenes have become a thing to be shoved so commonly into media. people will start screaming "homophobia!" and "purity culture!" and making up all these strawmen to argue against so that they can feel superior to and condescend to and make fun of aspecs. any mention of kink at pride invariably devolves into rampant and blatant acephobia from a website that insists acephobia is a thing of its past and they're so much better now. and it's not just random internet strangers. it gets put on my dash by people who are supposed to be my friends. so again. would you like to be the one to so nicely and politely explain to people and ask that aspecs pretty please be recognized as a portion of the queer community that matters and is worthy of respect?

at this point people know that aspec people exist and they continue to do this anyway. they'll claim to care about aspec people and insist that this is true until it comes to them actually having to change their behaviour. people don't want to accept that things they are doing are wrong and harmful. that's just how people are. allo (and even some aro, somehow) queers think they are engaging with fandom in such a progressive and morally pure way and do you really want to be the one to tell them that they're not?

I have had friends who have known perfectly well that I hate romance, have seen this on numerous, numerous occassions, and have still expected me to be thrilled about a particular romance because it was gay. (somehow people do not seem to realize that they are literally saying gay romance is not real romance when they do this. and yet I'm the homophobe.) it's really not a simple matter of just "explaining to people". not to mention that having to try to educate people on all this is fucking exhausting. aside from the actual figuring out what to say and how to say it and writing it all down you have to worry about the person not understanding anyway, or just brushing it all aside with cries of "homophobia!".

so you know, maybe consider taking some of that on instead of piling it all on my shoulders when I'm the one who will be most harmed by the outcome!

and please don't take this to mean that I want all of fandom to be all about friendships either. I may be alloplatonic but I am shaking hands with all my aplatonic comrades who are even more neglected in this sense than aros are. and in general, I would like to do what I can to speak out for you knowing that I am somewhat shielded from the outcome by virtue of being alloplatonic.

I've lost the thread of what I was ranting about at this point but no one's read this far anyway so 😇 anyway, if you do any of the stuff I wrote in the tl;dr and haven't unfollowed me yet and read this far instead (thank you!), please please please consider educating yourself on amatonormativity and how those kinds of comments are actually erasing an entire class of relationships had especially by, but not exclusively by, aspec people. please don't just dismiss this with the kneejerk reaction of "homophobia!!!". aspec people are queer people too and don't deserve to be erased for the purpose of propping other queer communities up. there are respectful ways to engage with fandom and shipping without doing this.

anyway i got a bunch of new followers and wanted to make sure to scare the aphobic ones away sooner rather than later :)

#eifie dot txt #eifie dot RAGE #aro propaganda tag #ace tag #aplatonic tag #loveless tag

[actuallyasexuality]

Aphobia may not be as apparent as homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia, but it is still an issue that needs to be fought against.

In reality, asexuals face a lot of the same negativity, hate, and ignorance that other LGBTQ+ people receive.

Homophobes blame WLW and MLM couples for the population.

Ex. "The population is going to decline because of the increase of gay marriages."

Aphobes try to pressure aces into having children.

Ex. "I'm still waiting for my Granbabies, Sarah," or "You just haven't met the right woman yet, Kevin. Once you meet the right girl you'll want to have a mini you running around"

Biphobes and Transphobes don't treat bi and trans people seriously.

Ex. "It's just a phase," or "Jayson is just doing it for attention."

Aphobes don't treat ace people seriously.

Ex. "It's just a phase," or "Lauren is just a late bloomer."

Homophobes treat homosexuality as a mental illness.

Biphobes treat bisexuality as a mental illness.

Transphobes treat being transgender as a mental illness.

Aphobes treat asexuality as a mental illness.

Biphobes and homophobes think they can turn gay and bi people straight.

Aphobes believe they can turn aces into allos.

There are difference, but there are also many similarities. It's important that we lift each other up and fight against inequality together.

#ace #asexual #lgbtq #lgbtqia+ #lgbtqia #asexuality #acespec #aphobia #gay #lesbian #trans #Bisexual #transphobia #homophobia #biphobia #psa

[talisidekick]

At the heart of it all, the goal is to make you feel pain. That is the sole point of all bullying, of discrimination, of homophobia, of biphobia, of aphobia, of transphobia, of bigotry. The hate isn't consistent, it'll never be consistent, it's not supposed to be consistent, the purpose is convenience.

They'll call you "faggot" and hurt you for being gay and act like they recognize you as someone who's homosexual, then turn around and call you a confused, misguided, lost, corrupted, or predatory straight person; it's whatever suits their rhetoric to hurt you in every way. You're gay so they can make fun of you, but not gay so they can legitimise denying you the right of agency to be who you are and be with who you want. This goes for every sexual orientation that isn't straight.

They'll call you "tranny" and hurt you for being transgender and act like they recognize you as transgender, but turn around and deny you're transgender by calling you confused, lost, misguided, decieved, or predatory. It's whatever is convienent to cause you pain, strip you of agency, and treat you less than human. Non-Binary, trans men, trans women, trans neutral, gender fluid, xeno gender, all types that aren't blanket cisgender at the base get treated this way. It's for the convenience of mistreatment.

We try to find reason, some value behind it to explain why. And it has been in my experience that even if they do say they have a reason; "protect children", "protect women", "protect the sanctity of marriage", "protect religion", "protect family values", etc. when challenged and reasoned with, when those 'reasons' are even remotely threatened to be untrue, invalid, or misguided the result is seldom a discussion, but immediate denial, reiteration, and rejustification of violence and harm. Often, you're painted as unreasonable and wrong, branded as someone not to listen to. The horrible truth is, at the outset, you are branded as less than equal, so equal discussion, equal debate, collaboration, was never an option. The only reason your voice was entertained was solely so they could win a fight and prove you wrong to justify hurting you further.

The point of bigotry, is bigotry. The point of discrimination, is discrimination. The point of the pain is because they can. You're not actually a problem for being transgender, gay, bi, or queer. Thats just their justification to use you as an outlet. You're a punching bag so the one hitting you can feel powerful.

The moment you understand this, you can learn how not to play the political game these bigots, these bullies, are playing. They're not interested in learning from debate, so stop falling into that trap. Why do you think people call transgender, gay, and queer people funny? The only way to combat bigotry and bigots, is to make it ridiculous. To turn it into a joke. To turn it around on them because thats what they're trying to do to you. Never undervalue the power of education, but there's no sense in fighting when it's rigged against you. You won't change their minds, so don't try to. Educate the crowd, then laugh it off. Or just walk away. The threat is serious, but once again, you can't win a game they've rigged for you to lose, so don't play it. Spread joy, not hate. Emotion speaks louder than reason and actions speak louder than words. Learn to laugh back. It'll also make you feel a little less shitty.

#trans #transgender #talisidekick #talisidekick things #lgbtq+ #lgbt+ #2slgbtqia+ #lgbtqia+

[aroaceconfessions]

A show I like called The Owl house has a canonically aroace character in it and it's really cool. The show does a lot of good representation, like having the main character be a bi girl in a relationship with a lesbian. Sometimes I browse the show's Reddit and every so often I find aroace fanart about the aroace character. The comments are always full of aphobia though and it sucks, especially since a majority of the fandom is queer. There's never homophobic comments on posts about the same gender couples in the show, but when it comes to the one aroace character there are always aphobic comments. I hate that some people in the queer community don't want other queer people to have their representation. It isn't fair that posts about an aroace character are constantly flooded with people commenting "but what about this ship 🥺" or "being single isn't a sexuality lol" when posts about lesbian, gay and bi characters are almost never met with any push back. Some of the people advocating for queer representation change their opinion really fast when it comes to aromantic and asexual representation and I hate it. I hate that people who are in my community are against me getting representation like they do.

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose #owl house #representation #aphobia #invalidation