The urge of casual intimacy. To just hold hands, kiss and cuddle, fall asleep entwined in their arms, and to have your hair played with. To just snuggle with forehead kisses, and feel all encompassed and loved and wanted. When your heart just swells and burns like it’ll burst out of your chest with how overwhelmed you are by your love for the other half of your soul.
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DONE WITH THE GEKKO STAR/NEWEKKO ART✨(IGNORE HOW BAD THE BRUSH IS)
ALSO I STILL TRYING FIND OUT WHICH DYNAMIC ARE THERE LIKE IS GEKKO THE SUN OR THE MOON LIKE WHICH ONE ARE THERE????😭 (They ship dynamic is like the (epilepsy x epilepsy) Idk if I spelled that one planet right or not😭💀
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Dark Science #128 - Pizza Dungeon
Pizza Dungeon was my favorite place as a kid, but now it’s a David’s Bridal shaped like a skull.
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Reunion
Varadha never had to ask. Deva knew him more than he knew himself. When he ran to the shed with his mukku pogu missing, he didn’t have to ask. He didn’t have to ask when Deva made that oath to him. Similarly Deva didn’t have to ask. When Varadha gave away his territory for Deva’s mother, he didn’t have to ask. When he arranged for them to leave safely, he didn’t have to ask. Looking back on it, it astounded him but at the same time it didn’t. It should surprise him, how far they used to go for each other.
When Deva had to leave, Varadha built a fort in his heart and put all his feelings for Deva in there. In reality he wanted to bury it deep in his mind and forget about it, he didn’t want to be hurt by hope. But he couldn’t do that, those feelings contain memories- of Deva. He could never be harsh with those memories. So he built of fort- a temple to worship him, to make it feel like Deva is as unreachable as the Gods, so that he doesn’t feel the wretched hope.
He endured all the pain, suffering and humiliations, holding on to his hope and anchor. A plausible Hope of his brother having a good future and the Anchor of his worship to Deva.
He endured it until he could, until Rudra touched his mukku pogu and suddenly something snapped.
Suddenly Varadha felt like he was back at Deva’s shed utterly devastated and embarrassed and the fort collapsed. He couldn’t keep his feelings locked away. He was longing for Deva. He felt like a child, longing for Deva to come beat the shit out of Rudra for daring to touch his mukku pogu.
So he left. He left Khansaar looking for Deva. It felt like an impulsive decision but he couldn’t care. He wanted Deva by his side. Varadha could take care of himself, he was strong and capable, he could endure but right now he would do anything to feel safe. So he left to find Him.
Deva never had expectations from Varadha. He know Varadha doesn’t expect him to stay controlled, to keep calm and to not lose his head when something happens to Varadha. But Deva never expects, he doesn’t expect Varadha to find him when Rudra taunts him, he doesn’t expect for him to give away his territory for his mother, and especially does not expect him to go against his father to keep him safe. And that is why when Varadha asks and expects from him for the first time, to keep himself safe. He obeys.
So he leaves, he keeps his mother safe. He wraps up his feeling for Varadha, he wraps it in his blood. It makes him feel alive. It keeps him controlled just as much as his promise to amma does. He brews in silence, distracting himself with work. It is a normal life. As normal as one life can be when they are a weapon, born to be used. He feels like letting himself go, not caring about his past and living a fruitful life as a mechanic. But Varadha or more appropriately his feelings for Varadha doesn’t let him. He expects from Varadha for the hundredth time since the day he left khansaar, he expects Varadha to take him back.
And he does, Varadha comes to him. The deep voice of his still soothing as ever. And he feels his blood rush in his ears, he feels giddy and for a moment he wants to giggle. He feels offended at the question of whether Deva remembers him. It’s incredulous to even assume that Deva has not spent every living moment in his memories, imagining how Varadha would look grown up, whether he has grown muscle and whether the mole on his thigh looks better against the muscle. Instead of voicing his thoughts he turns around his heart longing to see Him.
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