-you a blood or a crip?
-I’m a Pisces
you are accused of stealing all the m&ms out of this dudes bag of trail mix how do you plead
“Existence dirtied my pants”
-scronce sensei our 43-year-old Japanese teacher from Ohio￼, 2021
✨fun quotes from my school part two✨
“damnit i was about to roll some crack”
“bow down and surrender to the torando and pray that it has mercy on you”
“would y’all join my cult of blood?”
“who told men they were allowed to look me in the eyes”
“i could literally do cocaine right now”
“how am i supposed to tell my dad that my cuffed jeans got us uninvited to the fourth of july pig roast?”
“touch my lip and i will bite you”
“you finally learned how to turn on lights! i’m so proud!”
L: Chess is hot because it’s the most natural set up to enemies to lovers, it’s the mental equivalent of lifting someone’s chin with a sword in a duel
younger me: why do people older than me hate me?
me now: I truly am part of the last of the good generation. everyone born after me is fucking stupid and cringe. whatever they like doing is absolute fucking garbage and a complete dumpster fire
Kid, after being woken up by a teacher for sleeping in class: Why be awake… if you can be asleep?
Class: *applause and cheering*
*whispers beside your dead body*
GET THE COOL, GET THE COOL SHOESHINE
✨fun quotes from my school part one✨
“all i know is alcohol”
“sometimes i drive through louisianna and look for places to hide bodies”
“maybe you would get more validation if you shut down your human trafficking ring”
“she was born to be a teacher’s pet but somewhere along the way god gave her anxiety”
“italians are birthed through redox reactions”
“i should beat you to death with a hammer for the vibes”
“did you know that cats don’t have collarbones???”
“what is really stopping anyone from committing crimes?”
“if mussolini can paraglide to freedom then mr. s can grade the fucking chemistry tests”
*My mother trying to teach me grammar*
Mom: it’s something that you’ll be.
Me: hiT BY A TRUCK!!!
Mom: *visible disappointment*
“if i turn my light off you can’t hear me”
Kid 1: Yeahhh, I’m into pain play.
Kid 2: Oh snap, for real?
Kid 1: Yeah, I pick at my acne scars. 🥵😌
at least our physics teacher is self aware
girl help i’m fantasizing about being in therapy sessions
There’s a difference between isolation and loneliness.
Sorry, but when you’re lonely you’re outmatched;
It’s you versus anyone versus anything.
I find comfort in knowing that I’m locking myself
In a windowless tower
As long as the dragon is still here to guard me.
- Aspec, R.R.M
“when I was younger, I wanted to be Mrs. Frizzle when I grew up”
“who needs therapy when you can rant to your students?”
-my friend after our latin teacher recounted his fear of snakes that apparently stemmed from his childhood
“its a date then, but not really a date because we’re just two bisexual besties who like shiny rocks”
-a conversation about going crystal shopping together
my friend just said “I would NOT wish to be pissed on”
I’m not even gonna give context
The school: it isn’t that hard, we give you homework paper to do it, and there isn’t even that much of it
Me and my tiny handwriting: struggling to fit it into the box
My dad, a high school math teacher: it’s direct
My mom, a medical engineer: it’s indirect
A tale of how I spent a four day weekend doing 30 algebra problems with my parents.