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#gen z humor
estravenai 7 months ago
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a-dazzling-wallflower 2 months ago
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Introverts assemble 馃悵
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nxhappiness 7 months ago
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mousierat a year ago
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myfriendthecouch 28 days ago
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overheard-at-highschool 26 days ago
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鈥渁s much as i love having my anxiety medication, i actually think i鈥檓 funnier when i鈥檓 mentally unstable鈥
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mycatsaidwhat 2 months ago
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things i鈥檝e heard college professors say pt. 12
-go home and enjoy your second nap of the day, because you just took your first one in my class聽
-i would just like to point out that I went a whole hour and 15 minutes talking about a piece where a girl castrates her father and didn鈥檛 mention Freud once聽
-genre is such a pretentious word. Probably because it鈥檚 French.
-the thing that intrigued me the most about the alien erotica,,,聽
-(student) I鈥檇 say that the Constitution is an institution聽
(professor) uh oh聽聽
-god, I think I have a fever聽
-today we鈥檙e going to be talking about *eerie noises* critical race theory聽
-(professor) When was the California gold rush?聽
*silence*
(professor) San Francisco鈥β
(everyone) 49ers!
(professor, muttering) Jesus聽
-I wasn鈥檛 as concerned with the age gap discourse as I was with the god gap discourse聽
-the problem that is called Mitch McConnell,聽
-we鈥檙e going to talk about food. Because I like food.聽
-eighth time is the fucking charm聽
-*is reading aloud and gets to the word 鈥減eculiarities鈥* shit shit shit聽
-adjusting to the realities of real circumstances sucks聽
-doesn鈥檛 it feel good to blame people?聽
-(student) what was your research process like for writing this book?聽
(professor) I don鈥檛 know man, I was drunk, I can鈥檛 remember聽
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just imagine:
peter finds out that tony doesn't know vines and makes it his personal mission to educate him.
in the lab
peter: lOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS
tony:
tony: are you talking about the spanners-
at lunch
tony: have you decided about what degree you're doing yet
peter: i don't need no degree to be a clothing hanger
shopping in gucci (bc tony a material gworl)
tony: that looks like a good suit
peter: it's the dollar store how good can it be
tony: ... did you just call gucci the dollar store
in mission meeting with avengers
steve: there's only one thing worse than a terrorist
peter: a child
tony: NO
in the lab part 2
tony: peter can you read out what's next on my notes
peter: no i cannot
tony: excuse me?
peter: what's up, i'm jared, i'm 19, and i never fucking learned how to read.
tony: first of all-
during mission
tony: *blasts enemy*
peter: oh my god he on x-games mode
during mission part 2
peter: *gets shot*
peter: mother trucker, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick
tony: you have tWO BULLETS IN YOUR LEG
after mission
peter: i like your accent, where you from
shuri: i'm liberian
peter: oh my bad
peter, whispering: i like your accent where you from
tony, crying: what the F U C K
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leftperfectionmoon 10 months ago
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every day i wake up and discover a new health problem that i have
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vloinky 9 days ago
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Job: treats me badly
Me: 鈥渋f you don鈥檛 change I鈥檓 gonna leave*
Job: doesn鈥檛 change
Me: leaves
Job:
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starks-hero 2 months ago
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feeling bored, might fuck around and devout myself to an ancient mythological god later idk
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a-dazzling-wallflower 7 days ago
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Anxious People assemble 馃
also fuck negativity in any (human) forms!馃
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the church really be like "being gay is a sin"
my brother in christ He put that cum button in your ass for a reason
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mousierat a year ago
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dumbass-extraordinaire 8 months ago
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having adhd means that i am simultaneously the smartest and dumbest person in the room at any given time
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overheard-at-highschool a month ago
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鈥渨hy can鈥檛 we just sacrifice the billionaires鈥
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mycatsaidwhat 4 months ago
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things I鈥檝e heard college students say pt. 19
-my major is doing your mom in the mouth
-at least when my exams fuck me it鈥檚 not in a twin xl
-parking in faculty parking from now on since I seem to be teaching myself everything
-all the freshman walking to the bars reminds me of the mii plaza
-why am I awake and not wasted
-my toxic trait is that business majors are my type
-nothing more demeaning than getting handed doordash by yourself in broad daylight
-i鈥檓 telling FAFSA y鈥檃ll grocery shop at whole foods
-went to dunkin and asked for avocado toast and they took me out back and shot me
-choosing not to do the reading once is like a gateway drug
-Everyone talking about how hard their midterms are gonna be, while me, a psych major, is wondering what color I鈥檓 gonna paint my nails when I get home
-i think I need someone to rail me until I can鈥檛 walk. That should cure my depression, right?
-let's skip the chocolates this valentine鈥檚 day and get right to breaking my back
-i鈥檓 just very upset that I didn鈥檛 wake up as an Italian aristocrat today
-i don鈥檛 want to say the people, because that sounds populist鈥
-at least the anorexia stopped the alcoholism
-to the guy who was staring at me as I bought ultra size tampons in target, you fucking wish
-should i watch the notebook and become suicidal
-鈥測ou have a nice smile鈥 okay so cum on it
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lonelyremal 10 months ago
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The holy trinity:
鈥淒ude鈥 but like romantically
鈥淏abe鈥 but like platonically
鈥淪weetheart鈥 but like rivalry
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absurdchaoticworld 9 months ago
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Just meow meow
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