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Gender is a social construct, and that means that we get to make gender whatever we want it to be.
Gender can be whatever you want it to be for you!
Don't police other people's experience with gender!
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i know i just posted a link to carolyn gage’s “the inconvenient truth about teena brandon” but i think one section is worth quoting at length.
this is what happened the first time teena had access to mental health counseling, following an apparent suicide attempt:
wow. it only took a few days for this amazing therapist to figure out that teena’s many, many issues had “gender identity disorder” as their root cause.
apply occam’s razor here: which seems more likely to you? which alternative requires fewer assumptions?
none of this is new, in other words. the mainstream mental healthcare establishment has always viewed homosexuality as some sort of sublimated “identity” with the opposite sex. do you think they’ve evolved in the past decade? do you think homophobia has gone away?
they are engaged in motivated reasoning. they want to reach a certain conclusion, and we see them ignoring all points that do not fit neatly in the “gender identity disorder diagnosis”.
this young woman needed help. i invite you to make your own judgements about the kind of “help” she got.
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A very accurate and timely twitter thread. 👌
Remember everyone’s experience of being trans is unique to them—these are great guidelines for people you don’t know, but if you know someone who is trans, talk to them about their preferences and needs.
[Twitter user @unsolvedtwt is also on tumblr: @kindaunsolved ]
***TERFS AND TRUSCUM DO NOT INTERACT***
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reminder that it's perfectly normal to question your gender identity and change your labels/pronouns. you are not weird or strange. you're valid. and you are loveable no matter what.
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People ask, “How many genders are there?” a lot - sometimes out of innocent wondering and sometimes to try to ridicule/shame the trans community.
The thing is, asking how many genders there are is like asking how many colors there are. Yeah, there are a few main ones, but you could never name every. single. color. Plus, there are many shades that fall outside of or in between the few labels that we’ve created to categorize them. Asking a nonbinary person if they’re a boy or a girl is like asking if turquoise is blue or green - it’s somewhere in the middle, and that’s okay.
That’s why color is a spectrum, and that’s what we mean when we say that gender is a spectrum. Furthermore, just as with gender, everyone’s perception and experience of color is different.
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Eret- In your Halloween pictures- You- How did you- You have- Where- When- How- Please explain- I'm wondering and I don't know how to ask this. You had some things that you wouldn't normally have, you being biologically male. I'd like to know how. Please.
So like how AFAB people can wear binders to reduce the amount of chest that they have, flat chested people can buy things that do the opposite and make them actually have some level of chest. The most common things in my experience are breast forms and breast plates.
Breast forms (I was wearing a pair for my Halloween outfit) are essentially two silicone forms that you can insert into a bra and wear under clothing to create some level of boobage. They come in all shapes and sizes, very convenient and are generally more affordable than breast plates. You can find them easily on Amazon and I'd expect to pay between $20-$70 depending on size, brand and quality. Main issue is that unless fully covered, they are very obviously not real.
Breast plates are a completely different level. They are generally much more expensive (starting around $100) but also look a lot more realistic if you are wearing any sort of outfit or cosplay that shows more skin or cleavage. Main issues with these are the visible seam lines from when they were made and gaps that are visible at the neck, arms and torso where the breast plate meets your actual body, though, with the right outfit these can be hidden easily. It may also be a struggle trying to get one that matches your skin-tone exactly, though this may partially be remedied by lighting or applying makeup to the plate to help it match your natural skin colour. A site I'd use for looking at higher quality plates would be something like Roanyer (NSFW Warning obviously). I'm sure there are other and maybe better sites out there, but I just don't know them yet!
tl;dr if you are a flat chested person and want to experiment with having some level of chest, I'd recommend trying out some breast forms in a bra (just not a pushup bra) (you can get special bras, but I've always just used regular underwire bras and they work fine) and just trying out various outfits and looks! It's fun to mess with gender norms! If you have any other questions, please ask! Hope this helps!
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“In certain young people today…I notice what I find increasingly troubling: a cold-blooded grasping, a hunger to take and take and take, but never give; a massive sense of entitlement; an inability to show gratitude; an ease with dishonesty and pretension and selfishness that is couched in the language of self-care; an expectation always to be helped and rewarded no matter whether deserving or not; language that is slick and sleek but with little emotional intelligence; an astonishing level of self-absorption; an unrealistic expectation of puritanism from others; an over-inflated sense of ability, or of talent where there is any at all; an inability to apologize, truly and fully, without justifications; a passionate performance of virtue that is well mexecuted in the public space of Twitter but not in the intimate space of friendship. I find it obscene.
People who ask you to ‘educate’ yourself while not having actually read any books themselves, while not being able to intelligently defend their own ideological positions, because by ‘educate,’ they actually mean ‘parrot what I say, flatten all nuance, wish away complexity.’
People who wield the words ‘violence’ and ‘weaponize’ like tarnished pitchforks. People who depend on obfuscation, who have no compassion for anybody genuinely curious or confused. Ask them a question and you are told that the answer is to repeat a mantra. Ask again for clarity and be accused of violence.
And so we have a generation of young people on social media so terrified of having the wrong opinions that they have robbed themselves of the opportunity to think and to learn and to grow.”
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
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there isnt enough of a conversation about asexuality and/or aromanticism in relation to gender identity bcs after spending a lot of time questioning myself, i came to the conclusion that it is literally impossible for me to pin down whether my disconnectedness from the female gender actually comes from me or from the inherent intertwinement of femininity and sex/romance in our society. and we dont talk about this enough
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son and daughter - queen (brian may) // rebel rebel - david bowie // i would die 4 u - prince
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I attempted to condense my YouTube video about how “queer is a slur” is TERF rhetoric into a two-minute version for those who don’t have the patience to watch a 20-minute video or read a pages-long article. Obviously, this is a HUGE oversimplification, but hopefully this breaks down the issue for those who aren’t familiar with the history.
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Yee-haw, my pronouns are not optional.
Art by Liberal Jane
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Non-binary lesbians have always existed.
While the term non-binary was not officially coined until 1995, this DOES NOT mean non-binary lesbians did not exist before.
Lesbians have always had a unique and complicated relationship with gender due to heteronormativity in society that we were forced and taught to live by until we respectfully figured out our identities.
In the 1800s many lesbians were what we say is GNC, they often dressed masculine and went by he/him for their protection in society BUT also as their identities as lesbians.
This is not to say ALL GNC lesbians were non-binary. However, lesbians have often voiced their disconnect to womanhood in their lesbianism. Again, not saying all GNC lesbians or transmasc lesbians fell into this category.
When non-binary finally had a word to describe “outside the binary,” of gender, a lot of lesbians voiced that they had felt this way for many many years of their lives. They identified with non-binary once the essay, “In Your Face” was published. It gained wider use in the 1900s due to political activist Riki Anne Wilchins. While we didn’t have much vocabulary to describe relationships and identities within our communities, this doesn’t mean non-binary people did not exist. Language and identities grow in countries.
Non-binary genders (in different terms) have always existed within multiple cultures and places in the world. Western civilization had demolished and dismantled those cultures and terms due to colonization. Forcing strict male and female “only” to be valid and accepted. To erase other cultures and their terms and identifications have erased a lot of history. If you don’t see that, you are part of the problem and accept colonization as “truth.”
People need to be more aware of history of cultures, identities, AND linguists.
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You don't have to define, explain, or limit your gender. It doesn't have to make sense, you don't have to prove that you are who you say you are. We are ever changing beings, we are complex and strange, we are allowed to exist without explaining it.
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Happy nonbinary people's day! Here's a little infographic I made for the occasion - keep being you!
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I’m a cis-gender man which basically means that, when I was born, the doctor went “It’s a boy!” and when I was old enough to understand I agreed with him.
The thing is, I don’t know why I feel like a man. I was teased and bullied for it a lot when I was little. I’ve never had stereotypically American male interests. I never cared about sports or cars or guns. I was more interested in music and cooking and the arts. I’ve always been emotionally in tune and sensitive, even when I did my best to suppress my emotions to survive a childhood of abuse from other children.
It’s not physical either. I don’t feel like a man because I have a penis or a beard. If you put my brain in a robot body or any other body, my essence would still feel male (I assume). I literally can’t imagine what being any other gender would feel like, since I feel so acutely male.
I think that’s why the concept of being transgender always made sense to me. I’m a man. I don’t have any bloody clue why I feel like a man, but I don’t feel that it’s tied to my body or my interests or the way that I’ve been treated. I feel like a man because of something beyond that. Something ephemeral. So, why couldn’t others feel the same? Why couldn’t a person who’s been misidentified as a girl feel like a boy for the exact same nebulous reasons that I do?
And, since gender really doesn’t make any sense to me anyway, why couldn’t there also be people who feel as if they don’t have one? Or who flow across genders like a ship on a map?
Are there people out there whose sense of their own gender is inseparable from their physical form? If you put those people into robot bodies or, simply, other physically different bodies, would their gender identity also swap? If so, why? Are they actually more lost in their gender identity than I am and they need to hone in on the physical in order to anchor themselves?
Why do people feel like they are the gender that they are?
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