Questioning your gender is a lot like walking into a coffee shop for the first time. Say you grew up your whole life drinking milk or soda or water and suddenly you’re dropped into this place with like 800 different options and no idea what any of the words mean. Like what is a mocha? A latte? This is where you get someone to help explain things to you, because no one knows everything and it’s stupid to expect people to.
So say your friendly barista explains what a latte is and you think “Wow, well, I’ve been drinking milk my whole life… let’s try it.” and you taste the latte and it is very much different from milk.
As we know, coffee is an acquired taste. No one is expected to really like it on the first taste. Some people might. You might try the latte and think “Yes! This is it, this is the best drink I've ever had.” but some people won't.
There are plenty of people who will try everything on the menu and take a long time to have a standard order. Some people will never have a standard order and just pick something new every time for the hell of it.
Some people will get the same thing for the rest of their lives. Some people will get tea, some will get coffee. Some people will get very fancy drinks, some will get the basics. Some people alternate between getting two drinks, some people do three. Some people have one drink and leave because none of the options sound appealing.
It’s like a coffee shop. As long as everyone’s being respectful, you can get anything off the menu. And while you’re in the coffee shop, at the very least, no one minds that you ordered a large peppermint latte with three shots of espresso or a plain black iced tea.
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You are not an authority on other people's genders.
You are not an authority on other people's sexuality.
You do not get to redefine terms that do not belong to you.
You do not get to decide what is and is not offensive to someone, especially if you are not a part of that identity.
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