#genuinely imagine being that stupid i swear to god

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: your best friend brags complains that he can't get laid due to his huge dick posing a threat to random girls at parties, so you offer to fix his little big problem pairing: soobin x reader genre: smut, best friends to lovers warnings: explicit language, big dick soobin (canon event), size kink, foreplay, eating out, blowjob, hugging, fingering, size training, creampie, consensual intercourse, kissing, aftercare, allusions to death in a sexual context, lowkey possessive soobin at the end author's note: the killa is on my mind 24/7 and im down bad for soobin 25/8 🥵 so i had to get it out of my system somehow 🤷 word count: 2k

“You’re kidding, right?” you ask your best friend when he makes a rather shocking confession as the two of you are sitting in his bedroom after one of your usual anime marathons.

“I wish I was. But I would never lie to you,” Soobin responds truthfully. His big moist eyes look a 100% genuine but it still sounds so...bizarre.

“Let me get this straight…Every time you try to hook up with a girl at one of those parties Yeonjun keep dragging you to, you go to a room, eat them out like the generous, selfless guy you are, and then after you take off your pants, they get scared by your gigantic cock and refuse to have sex, running away in horror?”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to explain for the past 10 minutes, yeah,” Soobin confirms with a very adorable pout on his stupid face.

You shake your head in utter disbelief.

“I’m sorry but this is just ridiculous. Any girl would be happy to hook up with a guy that has a huge dick.”

“Well, I guess not any girl ‘cause this shit has happened three times already and I’m at my limit. Why can’t I just get laid?” Soobin bemoans his tragic destiny.

“No, I don’t get it. The least they could do is give you a quickie or something to return the favour. It’s so rude to just sprint away. I can’t believe your cock is that terrifying.”

“Ugh, please stop saying that. It’s so embarrassing,” Soobin covers his face behind his big hands. Hold on a minute…

“If what you’re saying is true, then I think it’s pretty hot. Those girls are surely missing out.”

“Or maybe they’re just looking after themselves. Like…I’m not mad at them for being spooked out, I just wish I could finally get some, you know?” Soobin sighs.

“Death by dick does seem appealing,” you shrug.

“Y/N!” he exclaims.

“Listen, what if I make you an offer? You prove to me that you weren’t exaggerating about your size and I promise I won’t run away and will take care of your…frustrations.”

“Are you seriously suggesting this?” Soobin freaks out. “This could ruin our friendship.”

“I won’t be weird about it, I swear. What do you say?”

“Fuck it. I’m so horny that this actually sounds like a good idea,” Soobin admits. “Can I eat you out first?”

“Erm, if you insist,” you reply, suddenly feeling nervous.

“I just wanna take care of you, make sure you’re all nice and wet for me,” Soobin explains patiently.

“You really don’t have to,” you reassure him.

“I know but it’d be awkward for me to just whip it out. Please?”

“Oh…okay,” you really can’t imagine saying no when he’s asking you so sweetly. God, what did you get yourself into?

Soobin takes off your leggings and panties in one swift movement and pushes you down gently on the bed so you are in a lying position. He spreads your thighs apart and looks at your pussy, already glistening with wetness caused by the conversation you’ve been having. Soobin smirks but doesn’t say anything about it. You’re grateful for that as he dives in, licking and kissing all over you. Fucking hell, if his tongue is capable of making you feel this way, you are slightly unnerved to find out what his cock can achieve. But unlike those girls at the parties, you are determined to never run away from your best friend.

Soon enough, you reach your high, overwhelmed by Soobin’s insane tongue movements and his big hands gripping your thighs. You need a few moments to gather your thoughts and when you are finally able to speak, those are the first words that leave your mouth:

“I think they fleed because you eat pussy like a starved animal. Seriously, what the hell was that?”

Soobin chuckles nervously and runs his fingers through his black hair, pushing it back and exposing his forehead for a bit.

“Trust me, it’s not that.”

“Prove it,” you challenge him even though you are fairly certain he’s telling the truth. Your best friend has never lied to you, so why start now?

Soobin takes off his pants, his hands are shaking and you immediately feel bad. You put your hand on his in an attempt to calm him down.

“Hey, you don’t have to if you feel uncomfortable.”

“I do want this, but after so many failed attempts, I’m so anxious…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Soobin,” you insist and squeeze his hand reassuringly.

His skin complexion looks slightly less pale and your words seem to give him the confidence he so desperately needs. Moment of truth. Soobin takes off his boxers and…Oh damn, he was not exaggerating. He’s not just big, he’s so huge a part of you wonders how is it humanly possible to carry such a weapon around and maintain the gentle, humble composure with which Soobin carries himself.

“You’re not running yet,” he jokes.

“Soob?”

“Y-yeah?” his voice cracks, he is obviously terrified of what you’re going to say.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I finally get why these girls ran away.”

“Oh,” he sounds a little dejected, as if already expecting you to go back on your offer.

“But! That’s not gonna stop me. Just tell me what you want first and I’ll try my best to make you happy.”

“Huh?” Soobin is too flustered to process your words.

“My hands, my mouth, or my pussy, what do you want first?”

“You mean…you’re willing to give me all of them?” he blinks in shock.

This poor, precious boy. Did he really face disappointment so many times that he is now looking a gift horse in the mouth with such uncertainty?

“Just pick, Soobie, I promise I’ll give you anything you need.”

“Um…can you suck me off? Please?”

Gosh, he’s so adorable you want to eat him.

You nod a little too enthusiastically and go down on your knees, taking as much of his cock as you can. It’s a tight fit but what you can’t put inside your mouth you make up for by wrapping your hands around him. You suck and lick and touch him, eager to give him as much pleasure as he did you. Your beloved best friend has obviously been frustrated for a while now because it doesn’t take him long to cum inside your mouth. There is so much you can’t manage to swallow it all despite your valiant efforts and you see some of it falling down your cheeks. You wipe it off with a finger, sticking it into your mouth, grinning widely at Soobin.

“Fuck, you’re incredible. What…how…are you okay?”

He presses his big palm against your cheek and it takes a lot of self-control for you to not melt right there and then.

“I’m great. Did…did it feel good for you?” you ask sheepishly.

You’re not particularly confident about your skills but you genuinely did your best for him.

“Are you crazy? It felt insanely good,” Soobin takes your hand, lifting you up and wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“I’m glad,” you respond, feeling safer and warmer than ever before in your life.

“Do…you still want to…you know?” Soobin asks.

“If you’re asking whether you can put your cock inside my pussy, then yeah, go for it. As long as it’s something you want, of course.”

You keep reminding him to only do things he’s completely okay with, because you would hate to put your best friend in a situation he doesn’t enjoy just because of your greed.

“I want you so bad, you have no idea. But I think I’ll need to stretch you out a bit, yeah?”

“O-okay,” you quickly agree and in no time, Soobin’s long fingers are inside of your pussy, going deeper than your own have ever been and making you feel things you never even dreamed about.

“How does it feel?” Soobin asks in concern.

“Heavenly,” you admit and just as you’re about to reach your second orgasm, Soobin’s fingers leave you.

“N-no, why’d you do that?” you whine frustratedly.

“Wanna feel you come around my cock.”

As it turns out, you'd like this just as much so you quickly forgive him for ruining your orgasm.

“I think I have a condom in my-“ Soobin starts but you cut him off.

“I’m taking a pill. And I believe we’re both clean, so…”

“You gon’ let me fuck you raw?” Soobin inquires, not wanting to make assumptions.

“Yeah, I trust you,” you reply with conviction.

“You’re a dream,” Soobin chuckles and nudges the head of his cock against your moist entrance. You brace yourself for some level of discomfort and are surprised that it doesn’t come right away. Soobin takes his sweet time getting inside you, making sure you’re okay.

“Fuck, Soob, you're so big,” you moan, already feeling overstimulated.

“This is just the tip, baby,” he explains shyly, which makes you lose your mind.

Soobin goes deeper very slowly, making you feel every inch, stretching you out bit by bit.

“How much more?” you ask somewhat impatiently.

“Just a little bit. Can’t help it that your pussy is so tiny,” he teases you.

“Not my fault your dick is so gigantic,” you bite right back.

“I promise, I'll try my best not to split you in half,” Soobin jokes, which does little to ease your worries, but at the same time only makes you wetter.

“Keep talking to me,” you plead for him.

“Does it hurt?” he wants to know, as he keeps entering you further.

“It’s a good kind of hurt,” you explain, wincing slightly.

Once you’ve gotten used to it, you signal to Soobin that he can start moving and he does just that, fucking into you with an impressive speed. You try to meet him halfway, lifting your hips up for him, melting into one.

“You’re taking it so well, my darling best friend,” Soobin praises you relentlessly.

“Anything for you, Soobie,” you cry out in sweet bliss.

“I’m close,” Soobin confesses soon enough.

“Fill me up,” you beg him, almost in a daze, deeply affected by his overpowering presence.

He doesn’t need to be asked twice and spills his seed inside of you. It feels so good that you cum with him, walls clenching around his enormous dick. Soobin leans down to kiss you, further blurring the lines between friendship and…whatever this is.

Then, he takes his cock out and you realize something far more terrifying than his intimidating size - you are falling in love with your best friend.

Soobin quickly brings a towel and a bottle of water, taking care of you like no one else before. You want to cry, touched by his sweetness and falling even further.

“How do you feel?” Soobin brushes a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I feel…like I'm on another planet,” you confess shakily.

Soobin chuckles, visibly relieved to hear that.

“You’re so cute,” he murmurs, enveloping you in a hug. His large frame towers over you and if it was anyone else, you’d probably feel slightly threatened. But this is Soobin, and even though he just fucked your brains out, you feel completely safe and protected. Safe enough to be honest about how you feel.

“I know I promised not to be weird about it but…I don’t think I can go back to being friends.”

Soobin pales for a moment, scared of losing you.

“Why not?” he blinks, barely restraining his tears.

“I wanna belong to you,” you try to ease his worries by openly saying what your heart and soul desire.

“Oh…But baby, you already do,” Soobin suddenly beams with excitement. “And I belong to you, too.”

“I think you killed me a little,” you laugh. “Killed my pussy with your big cock and ruined me for other men.”

Soobin raises an eyebrow.

“Bold of you to assume that I’d let other men near your pussy. You’re all mine now.”

The End

#txt #soobin #txt smut #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #size k!nk #soobin x reader #soobin smut #soobin hard thoughts #soobin hard hours #txt imagines #soobin imagines #writing

[kitten4sannie]

15 - ꜱɪᴢᴇ ᴋɪɴᴋ - ᴍɪɴɢɪ

ʜᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏʟᴅ

pairing: himbo bf! mingi x fem! reader feat. yunho, san, and seonghwa

genre: college/frat au, smut

summary: your boyfriend is really bad at taking hints.

w.c: 2.7k

warnings: alcohol use, weed mention, switch! mingi, switch! reader, mingi has a big dick, pet names, name calling, dirty talk, grinding, begging, unprotected sex (don’t be like them), bulge kink, exhibitionism, voyeurism, poor attempt at humor

a/n: love me a good himbo <3 this man is dumb in this just how i like themmm. also the song i imagine playing during the dance scene is “deep” by summer walker <3

FFF Masterlist

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You never particularly enjoyed the drink options at frat house parties. They only ever had giant kegs full of cheap beer, along with an endless supply of Tito’s vodka, swearing they had a life supply stocked up in the basement. When you asked Mingi’s friend Yunho where the soda was, all he did was shake his head and say in a slurred voice, “Coach said we gotta cut out sugar.” You genuinely wondered if he was trying to make a joke or if he was 100% serious, but the serious lack of anything chaser-related was making you think he wasn’t lying to you. It seemed like football players were fueled by countless liters of alcohol and protein powder alone. No wonder they were so aggressive on the field.

“Here,” Yunho said, handing you a solo cup filled to the brim with beer, his reddened eyes still friendly and bright. “My brother makes it himself.” You gave him a smile and a thanks, before scanning the crowd for Mingi. 

Once you found him, you took a few sips of the watered-down beer Yunho gave you, zoning in and out of the heated conversation your boyfriend was having with his friends about whether professional sports were rigged or not.

“Baby, can you please back me up?” Mingi asked in a whiny voice, snaking an arm around your waist, fingers squeezing you, his plump lips forming a pout. “Tell Seonghwa how stupid he is for thinking sports are fake.”

God, he was so fucking cute. You needed him. Needed to see him pout when he begged you to bounce on his dick. 

Taking a long swig of the glorified water, you cleared your throat, leaning your body against Mingi’s. “Seonghwa, I think it’s really bold of you to assume they’re all fake, and honestly, I think you might just be in denial since your teams never win.” 

The rest of Mingi’s drunk companions erupted in low ‘ooh’s’ and ‘damns’, some of them nodding their heads in agreement. San, who was already fucked up, made a show out of his reaction, smacking Seonghwa’s shoulder with his hand and pointing a finger at him, grinning at his friends. “He literally never bets on the right team. It’s so fucking funny.” 

Irritated, Seonghwa scoffed and rolled his eyes, taking a drink of his beer with one hand shoved into his pocket. “Where’d you find this one, Mingi?” 

“Don’t start.” Mingi clutched you against his side defensively, taking a sip from his drink. “Or else I’ll put hot chili oil in your jockstrap, like I did during your hazing.” 

That shut Seonghwa up, leading him to hold his hands up in defeat. Mingi idly stroked your hair while continuing his conversation with his friends, this time talking about their favorite plays from last night’s game. You went back to being bored, but this time your mind was swimming with thoughts of Mingi stroking your hair while his cock was down your throat. 

That was it. You needed to jump into action. However, you didn’t want to be too forward, not wanting to ask for Mingi’s cock in front of at least a quarter of the football team — though a part of you wanted them to know that he was about to pound you into oblivion. 

“Baby, I’m so cold,” you whined softly, looking up at Mingi with the cutest expression you could conjure up, rubbing your bare arms up and down. “Can you warm me up?” 

“Of course, doll.” Mingi let go of you and pulled his letterman jacket off, leaving him in a plain white, rather tight-fitting t-shirt. He put it over your shoulders, smiling at you. “Better?” As soon as you nodded and gave you a small smile back, he went back to talking to his buddies.

Damn. Too subtle. You weren’t about to give up, though. After staring into the distance for a while, idly sipping on your beer and still wishing you had access to a coke, you hatched another plan. Feeling ecstatic when a R&B song finally came on, knowing it would be easier to get into instead of the rap that was blasting out of the speakers a minute ago, you rubbed your hand up Mingi’s waist, lifting yourself up on your heels to murmur into his ear, “Baby, I want to dance. I really like this song.” 

Ignoring San’s begs for him to duel him in a game of beer pong, Mingi pressed a kiss to your temple, slipping his hand underneath his oversized jacket to touch the small of your back. “Let’s go then.” 

Maybe he was being subtle, too. How hot of him. “Yay~” You pulled his jacket off and walked over to Yunho, who was talking to someone else. You gave him the jacket, and in turn, he gave you a quick smile and put it over his shoulder to look after. 

Once the two of you were on the dance floor, which was just the oversized living room filled with drunken, sweaty people, you turned away from Mingi and pressed yourself into him, running your hands down your snug dress along to the tempo of the music. Mingi placed his hands instinctively on your swaying hips, moving along with you, leaning himself down to press his lips onto your jaw. Completely immersed in your own world, the bass thumping inside your ears, you began grinding on him in a more deliberate way, his heavy cock growing hard against your ass, making your brain feel fuzzy.

“Baby, they can see us, you know,” he mumbled under his breath, trying to pretend he couldn’t see Yunho waving at him from the kitchen and giving him a thumbs up. He definitely wouldn’t look at San, who was grabbing his imaginary tits and moaning obnoxiously loud. And he didn’t even notice Seonghwa staring at the both of you with contempt, even though there was a faint blush on his cheeks. 

You, however, noticed and acted accordingly. “Let them watch.” Placing your hands over his and guiding them up your body, you arched your back, squeezing your tits using his hands instead. Curious, you glanced over at the kitchen, finding Mingi’s friend's dumbstruck expressions to be particularly entertaining. That would give them something to talk about, instead of rambling about football for another hour. 

“Mmm…” Mingi buried his face in your neck, inhaling your sweet scent, slowly brushing his fingers over your nipples through the thin material of your dress. 

Your plan finally worked, in the best way possible, more turned on knowing his friends were watching, but not being able to do more than that and having to live through Mingi when he explained all the different times you unraveled for him. He always made sure to leave out the countless times he did that, since he always ended up drooling and begging for you to make him cum with your tight cunt. 

It took one more roll of your boyfriend’s hips and a single tit squeeze for you to sigh, “Fuck, Mingi, you’re making me feel so hot…” 

Mingi suddenly ceased all movement as a loading screen appeared inside his mind. “You were cold just a second ago.” He tilted his head, idly rubbing your arms and feeling how warm they were, before bringing his lips to your ear, his voice laced with concern when he asked, “Yeah, you feel really hot. You’re not getting a fever, are you, doll?” His eyebrows rose with concern, his lips forming a pout once again. “You kissed me a bunch before practice earlier – and, oh my god, babe, you sucked my dick. That’s like, direct contact, right?” He gasped, clasping a hand to his face, his concern almost borderline comical, but the poor frat boy was completely serious. “Do you think I’ll get a fever too now? I can’t miss practice!”

“No, baby, that’s not…” You bit your lip, too desperate to have him inside you to get annoyed. Turning around, you ran your hands up his torso, from his abdomen to his pecs, suggesting gently, “You know, a good way to get rid of a fever is to sweat it out, Min. Come with me.” 

Once you led your boyfriend to the nearest empty bedroom, you shut the door and pushed him down onto the bed, licking your lips at the sight of him. Mingi was laying down on the mattress with his limbs spread out, his shirt just barely riding up past his hips, revealing his treasure trail. He observed his surroundings, taking note of the plushies sitting next to the pillows, before looking up at you with vague confusion. “This is San’s room. Why are we here?”

“Why do you think, baby?” you asked softly, kicking your heels off, prior to climbing onto the bed and crawling towards him, your body buzzing with anticipation. 

Mingi gave you a sweet smile, running his fingers through his soft brown hair, slowly leaning his head against the firm pillow behind his head. “You want to sleep?” 

“No, baby…” you started, straddling his lap and gazing down at him with love and lust in your hooded eyes, your hand settling on his broad chest. “I want to play…”

Mingi admired you, slowly running his hands from your thighs up to your waist, taking your words literally like he usually did. “Like Legos? I think Seonghwa has some in his room.” 

You couldn’t possibly get mad at Mingi, finding it adorable how incredibly dense he was. It was a good thing he had such a thick skull; it would definitely prevent him from getting any more head injuries whenever he collided with another player on the field. It was probably time to stop being coy and just tell him what you wanted point blank. No nuance. No hints. Just your raw desire. 

 “I want to ride your cock, Min. So bad. All night I’ve been thinking about you stretching me out,” you admitted, biting the tip of one of your fingers. Your thighs pressed into his hips, your core throbbing at the thought of impaling yourself on his oversized dick for the sake of being filled by your favorite football player. “Please, Min. I’ve been such a good girl.” 

The cogs moved inside Mingi’s head for a moment, then his eyes lit up, his lips forming a wide grin. “Is that why you were rubbing all over me back there? Why didn’t you just say that, baby? You know I’m bad at taking hints.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” you started, lifting your dress off of yourself and tossing it onto the comforter, revealing you only had a small, lacy pair of panties on. “I should’ve just bent myself over the kitchen counter and asked you to fuck me dumb in front of your friends, huh? They’d like a little post game show, don’t you think?” 

Mingi groaned at the thought of railing you while his friends gave him pointers from the sidelines, growing hard underneath you. “You’re so hot, baby. So hot and so slutty for me.” He reached down to unbuckle his belt, popping it open, just for your greedy hands to do the rest of the work, eventually pulling his long, veiny cock out. 

Since you’ve been dripping pretty much the entire night, you were confident that you could take your boyfriend’s dick for a ride without needing lube. “You want me to bounce on your big cock, Min?” you asked sweetly, rubbing your soaked cunt back and forth across his dick, hearing him let out a small moan instead of a groaning sound. “Hm? Or do you want to fuck me senseless and make me cum all over your friend’s sheets?” 

“Please, ride my dick, baby…” he murmured, starting to whine from your change of pace, feeling your pussy slipping and sliding all over his sensitive spots, the tip beginning to leak pre-cum. “Pleaseeee, I need it so bad. I need it so fucking bad.” 

"Mmm, I suppose you've had enough, Min." You slid yourself to the tip and lifted it up just enough to begin pushing it inside, whimpering from being stretched out so intensely. Lowering yourself inch by inch, you ran your hands up underneath Mingi's shirt, lifting it up to see the defined softness of his pecs, grabbing and squeezing them.

Mingi arched his back slightly, biting and tugging at his lower lip when you finally bottomed out, the both of you moaning in unison. "Ride me, baby. Come on," he whined impatiently, running his hands over yours, guiding them down along his abs, enjoying the way your warm hands felt on his skin.

"Give me a minute," you replied in a strained voice, taking in a few deep breaths, waiting for the low burning sensation to subside.

Mingi lifted his hand up to press against your lower stomach, feeling the hard outline of his cock. "Baby's so full of me. You're such a good girl for taking my cock like this."

Something inside you switched, encouraging you to begin fucking yourself on his length, moaning, "Yeah, I'm a good girl...such a good girl for you, Min..."

"Yeah, you are," he exhaled, grabbing you by your hips and waiting for each moment you dropped yourself down to thrust himself into your tight hole, your breathy, high-pitched moans like music to his ears. "Fuck, I can feel you throbbing. It's so good, isn't it, doll?"

"So fucking good," you agreed, your lower half already starting to feel heavier, the feeling of getting pounded into by something so large and thick sending you into a state of bliss. "You're gonna make me cum soon..."

Suddenly, the door behind you swung open, and three distinct voices could be heard talking amongst themselves. "So, you're telling me your bong is in that mess on the floor?" Yunho questioned, pointing to the floor, trying to ignore what was going on in the middle of the room, the tips of his ears red and burning.

"Yeah, hold on." San walked into his room like it was just another day and stood near the two of you, giving Mingi a high five when he put his hand out. It must've been a regular occurrence with your boyfriend's previous partners. Personally, you were so dick-drunk, you didn't even care that San was studying the way your tits bounced along with your movements.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt, sweetheart," San said, giving you a suggestive smile, before bending over to pick up a few articles of clothing and throwing them to the side, searching for his bong underneath the chaos.

Mingi continued to drill himself into you, his cock throbbing heavily inside you due to being watched by his friends, opting to grab both of your wrists and hold you down, not letting you move at it, forcing you to take everything he was giving you. "Baby likes being watched, huh? Is Baby gonna cum from being a little attention whore?"

"Uh-huhhh..." You kept your eyes locked on his, making small whimpers each time he pounded into you, tears forming inside your eyes from having an audience.

"Goddamn..." San mumbled underneath his breath, already holding his bong inside his hand, but staying still, mesmerized by the way your ass routinely bounced when Mingi’s cock slammed inside of you. Seonghwa and Yunho were in similar situations, leaning on each other and watching the both of you with dilated eyes, wondering how the hell Mingi’s giant cock somehow fit inside your small frame without splitting you open.

"I'm...about to cum, doll." He caressed your cheek, wiping a few escaping tears, before glaring at San. "Get out of here, okay? I didn't mind you watching, but you're not about to see me nut."

Disappointed, San let out a long sigh, making eye contact with you when you glanced over at him with barely open eyes, your orgasm building up inside you at a rapid rate. "Maybe next time I can watch you two cum," he mused, only leaving the room with his friends when Mingi grabbed one of the plushies on the bed and tossed it at San's head.

Mingi, still holding your cheeks, pulled you down on top of him, slotting his lips onto yours, his hips still moving at a feverish, somewhat sloppy pace. "Cumming," he mumbled into your mouth, listening to your many muffled cries, slowly pumping his cum into your abused hole.

You melted against him, your body going completely lax, your cunt pulsing heavily, as your arousal poured out of you and dripped past Mingi's inner thighs, seeping into the comforter beneath. "So good...that was so good..." you slurred, even though you weren't drunk from the alcohol.

"I'm glad Baby likes getting dicked down so much," Mingi mused, his voice low and gravelly, reveling in the post-orgasm bliss, rubbing your back in circles. His hand suddenly went stiff, giving you a concerned look.

You pushed a few wet strands behind your ear, tilting your head to the side. "What's wrong, Min?"

He gave you a small pout, his eyebrows drawn together. "My nose feels kind of stuffy.” 

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FFF: @hwalysm @scuzmunkie @creativechaoticloner @dilucpegg3r @yeosxxx @gemjimin @wonwowzers @sanjoongie @manipulatedstars @k-drizzle 

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© toxicccred, 2023.

#ateez #ateez smut #mingi #mingi x reader #mingi smut #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #mingi x you #kpop smut #ateez fanfiction #ateez drabbles #ateez oneshot #kpop fanfic #february filth fest

[kanmom51]

JK Seven MV making sketch BTB

Yay, the subs are back on. And I got to watch it and even understand what he was saying, lol.

Loved it.

I was just sitting here for the 12 minutes with a huge smile on my face.

Because JK is just so adorable. So genuine. So real.

He had the time of his life, and seeing that just made me happy.

Now let's talk about a few thing I took from the BTB, why don't we?

I think I'll start from the fun and make my way to the more serious.

Not too much went on really. It's mostly him enjoying himself.

Being his own chaotic loveable self.

Trying to keep his eye open with the water pouring down on him, lol.

Can you imagine just how much fun this all was for him, our daredevil?

Funny, just thought about it, but they didn't even talk to Hun Sohee. Not a word. She might as well not have been there. Now I understand that JK is the focus, it's his song, BTBs are about the members, but at the same time, she's a well known and loved Korean actress acting in his MV and not only don't we get to hear from her even once, we also don't really get to see interactions between him and her in the BTB. In a way it feels like they are trying to keep this distance - this is JK, he's singing Seven, he's shooting a MV, but he's disconnected from it. I'm not sure I'm being clear enough here.

Ok, so for example JK explains what the scenes are and says the word girlfriend, god forbid. We know y/ns went into a frenzy over this stupidity. JK explaining the concept of the scene in which he's fighting with his gf, cause that's what the MV is about, and she's his gf in the bloody MV.

But maybe, knowing this fandom, they wanted to keep the delusion to a minimum, not to mention keep Sohee away from the crazy ass fans that are already harassing her by just keeping her off camera as much as possible. Idk, just found it interesting.

JK tells us a little about his acting, lol.

To all those that are still riding the scripted fanservice bandwagon, time to fucking get off it.

Omg, the way he disses Yoongi, he just LOVES to do that with Yoongi. Now I can kind of understand the "even at 60 years old jeon jungkook will be freaking annoying".🤣🤣

JK is wearing THE brand again. I'm telling you folks, JM made a huge online order for the two of them!!

He's just so precious, with this thing he has of checking out his hands, every single time it feels like it's the first time he's seen them, lol. The fascination he had from his water wrinkled fingers. So endearing.

Looks at them in amazement, shows everyone, then back to looking at them again all fascinated.

You'd think the man has never in his lifetime taken a long shower or had a bath or been in the damn swimming pool. Nah, lol. It's just one of those cute loveable oddities of his.

Did we notice the ASSets?

And I thought JM was in charge of that body part in the family.

Well, apparently the competition is on.

Has JK surpASSed JM?

Should we progrASS? Oopsy...progress?

And now I will take a moment to breathe.

I went looking for more pics from the BTB and came across this:

I don't know enough about the movie but do we know of any kind of connection to Jikook? Or this could be the directors tribute to the movie too. In any case it's a fun tribute.

Now for the heavy stuff, or not so heavy just a little more on the serious side.

I wrote a long ass brain fart of a post yesterday. And some of it is very relevant here too.

JK clearly sees the song as a love song. Period.

He did the explicit version for the fun of it (well and also probably because the America market loves a song with profanities in it). But for him it's the fun of not being restricted by the Kpop rules of engagement, the "don't swear because the song will be censored" and "don't swear because it's too adult" or whatever other reasons for it. He's having fun feeling more freedom, and that he's all grown up and can say fucking multiple times out loud.

But when it comes down to it, when asked about it directly, his answer was that he prefers the clean version. Because to him Seven is a love song, not one about the physical act alone. Yes, of course sex is part of it (the song lyrics are kind of loud), but sex is not even half of what loving someone is all about.

We saw JK talking about the love of his life while explaining about the song.

Him in the BTB about the death scene:

And at the end of the BTB explaining more:

And we also have what he said in the interview aired earlier today on Z100 radio.

The more we get of JK talking about the song the clearer and louder it becomes. I just wish people would only be listening to him.

Anyway, the man is beautiful.

Love him.

Not as much as the love of his life does though.

No competition there!!

#Jungkook #JK #JK Seven #JK Seven MV #JK Seven MV BTB

[gingersforeverbox]

Hi, no one asked for this, but have some Nathan Bateman x Reader headcanons/ drabble ideas

A/n: Howdy, I know it's been a hot minute since I posted something of my own, but I've been a simp for this stupid-genius bastard for a while now, and here is just a dump of the thoughts that are bouncing around in my head about Bitchman himself :)

Fem!Reader x Nathan Bateman btw

Content warnings: Nathan for obvious canonical reasons, the good kush🍃, swearing (probably), suggestive material that is +18 (If I find a minor on my lawn I swear to all that's good that I will tell your parents/guardians that you're being inconsiderate of boundaries Ya lil gremlins), that's all I can think of for now, but let me know if I missed anything! <3

Pretty little homemaker Reader? Yeah. Pretty little homemaker Reader who got to happily retire once they married Nathan and be a domestic, feminine person without care? Even better!

Pregnant Reader where we learn about what it’s like to be expecting with him (spoiler: he is a pain in the ass up until you have to snap at him to be considerate to the person who will give him his child, then he surprisingly gets his head out of his ass to try and be better for you and y'all's child).

Reader and Nate have to go to a gala or some shit for the first time as an official couple then there’s a bunch of questions from the press and coworkers about y'all being together, and he is basically like "Honey, I own the planet, whatever you don't want public won't be public. it's that simple, now let me show you this ice sculpture that looks like a dick if you look at it right >:)"

Stoned Nathan and Reader. She does it for fun, he insists that he’s gonna be chill, but he is such a fuckin nerd that he babbles about how scientifically interesting weed is while Reader is just like “M’kay babe, keep talkin’, you’re cute like this iloveyou” and Nathan kinda just buffers for a minute before then is high as a kite when he realizes "oh fuck this woman makes me feel things and I'm too high to try and hide it iloveyoutoo"

Nathan getting genuinely confused when Reader treats Kyoko with basic dignity despite her being an AI, and Reader basically being horrified with how he treats her and actively goes out of her way to be nice to Kyoko. Does Nathan learn to be nicer to his AI? Does he still treat them like shit and it bites him in the ass? YOU DECIDE!

Bossy!Reader who is one of BlueBook's communications experts, and he can't wrap his head around the idea of Reader, the same lady who doesn't hesitate to call one of his ideas bad-shit crazy, being the same lady who easily schmooses his business partners for him until he sees her in action at a conference they both have to attend. Nathan then realizing that he likes his organic women to be a lil fiesty.

*forewarning that this one is a little self-indulgent:* Nathan and a Psychologist reader? I would pay Money to watch those two bicker about everything. like come on, Nathan's fuckin' nuts and Reader deals with emotionally/ mentally troubled people for a living. Just imagine BlueBook deciding to assign him a psychologist since he lives in the middle of nowhere all the time, and Reader taking one look at him and being like "Oh, he's not just a narcissistic rich man, he's a narcissistic rich man with a literal god complex.... interesting :)))" then proceeding to actually help him regardless. Bbgorl wouldn't know what hit him.

That's all for now folks, as you were 😊

....psst, hey, if anyone is interested in reading something with any of these ideas I would happily see what I can do to make a lil somethin'-somethin'. Also, if you wanna take a stab at writing any of these, all I ask is that you tag me so I can get some credit and so I can see y'all's awesome work <3

#Seriously though I'm REALLY considering making the last one #even though I want to do all of them #but that one would itch my brain right #nathan bateman #nathan bateman x reader #ex machina #my stuff

[princelylove]

Homemade CDs.

Synopsis: Leone loves youuu so muuuucchhh. A wip that I desperately want to get rid of, intended as a tiny drabble to build some character for Leone.

Warnings: general yandere content, stalking 

There’s too many CDs under the television in Leone’s living room.

It’s Guido’s living room too, but Guido doesn’t really collect CDs. He has a couple- The Carpenters, The Cranberries, maybe even a Lesley Gore CD he swears up and down he got from a girl that just happened to leave it. (And hasn’t called him in three years to get it back.)

But other than that, it’s all Leone’s. There’s what you’d expect- Monteverdi, Tchaikovsky, maybe some Depeche Mode, and Bauhaus. Why does one man need three different versions of Swan Lake? The fucking nutcracker is in here?? They make CDs for that???

Some have had their insides replaced with black paper. If you ask him about it, he’ll tell you he burned the CD himself, and that’s why the side is blank. You just stick a piece of paper in where the art normally goes.

He never really wants to play it. If you ask him to, or God forbid take the liberty of opening it and putting it into the player yourself, he’s quick to take it from you and put it somewhere high up until you leave. Even if you’re tall, are you ‘top of the kitchen cabinets’ tall? Go ahead, try. Without looking stupid and leaning on his countertop. Yeah, that’s what he thought.

There’s also a ridiculous amount of films. Pretty Woman and The Bridges of Madison County sit nicely next to Leone’s hoard. Sling Blade, a recording of a ballet company’s Swan Lake, The Silence of the Lambs, the tv special version of The Phantom of The Opera (as well as the black and white one), are all pressed tightly together to fit in the shelves. 

It’s hard to imagine Leone genuinely enjoying all of this, especially considering you’ve never really seen him smile in the first place. You imagine he just exhales instead of properly laughing at the ‘funny’ parts.

His humor is a bit morbid, from your point of view. He probably laughs at the serious parts- sends himself into a laughing fit at the phantom going underwater with a stick to breathe. Or maybe he’s an elitist, and doesn’t watch films to amuse himself. 

‘I watch them for the experience.’ You imagine him saying.

He’s lucky you haven’t caught him watching you. 

You’re so precious like this. It’s the closest thing Leone’s had to domesticity with you. Going through his things while he fixes his makeup in the bathroom, where he can still monitor you but pretend he doesn’t care what you’re doing… He’ll replay this later to see which films caught your eye, so he can rewatch them, or put them on the next time you come over. Ohh, heey, silence of the lambs just happened to be on, you’re welcome to sit and watch while he leaves to go do anything other than sit next to you- despite suggesting that you amuse yourself with his things. It’s kind of rude to go through someone’s things, especially when they’re organized like this, but you’re not about to tell Leone a hard ‘no.’

You may have thought he was being sarcastic, ‘Yeah, come over to my house and dig through my shit, perfect.’ but he meant it. Getting to watch you browse in the confines of his apartment is the most fun he’s had in a while. 

When Guido gets home and breaks the precious silence Leone was thrilled about, he’s quick to comment on you digging through their collection.

“Hey, what’s- dude??? Your little guest can dig through our shit but I can’t leave a movie I’m CURRENTLY WATCHING out on the table? That’s SO unfair.” 

“You won’t put it back where you found it.” 

… You take that as a sign that you need to clean up, and put everything back the way you vaguely remember. You’re successful- a few are out of order, but it’s mainly neat. You’re not really interested in hearing Leone bitch about how ‘perfect’ he had it.

What you don’t know, and Leone will never tell you, is that he will never change the order you put it back in. That’s how they will stay, forever. A subtle piece of you in his home… he could just melt, but he won’t. Not until he has the absolute privacy of his room, where he can shove his face into his pillow, and then spend the evening hand washing his makeup off of it.

Leone still hasn’t come out of the bathroom. He’s not about to shut the love of his life out- not when that handsy bastard is home and eager to touch what isn’t his, but he’s also not ready to be so bold and actually be near you. Leone has dibs, Guido should respect that, nevermind the fact that Leone has never verbally or physically expressed his attraction to you. 

He’s probably the luckiest man alive to live somewhere convenient to you. His apartment is on your way to where Bucciarati tells you to meet him for jobs- it’s easier to crash at Leone’s when the weather isn’t very well intentioned. You normally leave once Bruno calls you, but it’s been an hour since the agreed meeting time. Normally Leone would be worried, but… making sure you’re fine is more of a priority to him, at the moment. He cares about Bruno- obviously, of course he does, he’s beyond grateful… but one of you is his obsession and the other makes him feel a great deal of guilt. Well. You both make him feel guilty, but one is an “I am indebted to you eternally” and the other is “If you ever find out I lick your calves when I replay you I am fucked” kind of guilt. Very different.

He snaps out of the thought when he notices you’re not where he left you. Leone’s not about to panic- if you’re still here, it makes him look like an overbearing host who needs to see you constantly and oh god what if you don’t like clingy guys. What if you dislike him and are secretly waiting around for Guido? Is that why you’re fine with the silence? Is that why you’re so content with him not really talking to you during your visits and just letting you sit around? 

Leone finds his way into his kitchen, and scoffs at the display. You were being entertained by Guido. You’re playing his current favorite game: see how high he can pick you up before Leone kills the mood. Looks like today’s game isn’t going to be a record holder. 

“Can you not do that in front of the food?” 

“Whaaat? We’re just playing. Don’t be so bitter.” 

“I’d rather your ‘playing’ not break the only real glass we have left.”

“Jeez. What’s up your ass today.” Guido puts you down, and moves on to pour himself a drink from the refrigerator. 

Leone’s eyes flick towards your face, to check your expression. Any ounce of reassurance will hold him over for weeks. Look at me. Approve of me. Love me.

When you avoid his gaze, he glances at the clock on the wall, and leaves to go back to what he was doing.

To Leone, pretending not to look his way is just as good as fully paying attention to him. 

He has a routine whenever he replays you. Firstly, he needs to make sure Guido isn’t going to be back for a while, so he sends him on some tedious errand he puts off with the intention of passing it off to poor, unknowing Guido. Secondly, he has to check what you were doing before you arrived, just in case. If you looked in any stores, if you tried to look in his window, what expression you were making just before you rang the doorbell. If you looked tense, he always tries to find out why. 

That gorgeous face of yours seems content today, so he speeds the replay up…

When he opened the door for you the other day, you looked at him for a second longer than normal. A whole, unobstructed second. What did he ever do to deserve such a look? 

He hates the way you look at anyone else. Nothing infuriates him more than his darling giving their precious attention to someone who entirely doesn’t deserve it. Not that he thinks he does, but… it’s better than anyone else having it.

It doesn’t matter, since this look was for him, not Guido, not Bruno, and nobody else. It doesn’t matter if it’s disdain, complete neutrality, or even pity. That gorgeous expression you’re making is intended for him, and he missed it, because he was pretending to not care about you being here. 

He’ll get you one day. Maybe not today, or soon, but one day. One day, he’ll get to play husband for you, and won’t even have to think about his stand, but for now… this’ll hold him over. 

One day, he’ll get to sit at your feet and give you the attention you deserve, but he’s trapped himself in this stupid “I hate you get away from me” act he’s putting up. A man can dream.

#yandere leone abbacchio #yandere leone abbacchio x reader #GET THIS AWAY FROM MEEEEE. #its been in my wips for too long just take it. begone.

[prettyboybuckley]

"your smile brings me so much joy." also this from the prompt list, if it sparks joy? 🥺👉👈

hi april ❤️ @lostinabuddiehaze also requested this one, hope you and kel like it. It's not totally a confession but close enough? 😌 yes i know you basically supplied the idea for the call yourself but you didn't know it was for this prompt sooo

When Buck imagined them finally talking about this, or even starting that conversation, he didn't think it'd be at a call. Perhaps that was naive of him to think, considering they spend a lot of time at work.

Christmas is nearing, which means that they get called out to a lot of calls from people trying and failing to decorate their house, and this time is no exception.

Honestly, all Buck can think about with Christmas coming close is that a year ago he was still with Taylor and Eddie left the 118. Neither of those are things he likes to think about.

"I swear I was being careful," the young woman sniffs as Eddie and Chim help her onto the stretcher. "I just wanted to put it all up before my wife came home because I knew it'd make her smile."

Said wife, who introduced herself as Andy, is standing next to them, looking fond but exasperated, with her hands on her hips.

"You'd think you'd know by now that this is a two-person job, Kate," she retorts. "And if you waited, I could have told you that the ladder wasn't reliable."

Kate—she fell from the ladder when a step cracked, and broke her leg and probably injured her back, bless her—pulls a petulant face but doesn't argue.

"I think it's sweet that you did this because you wanted to make your wife smile," Buck defends her, because he does, and he totally gets it. He'd do anything to put a smile on the face of the love of his life.

Eddie snorts, shaking his head. "Of course you do, this is exactly the kind of stupid thing you'd do."

"Yeah, well, you know your smile brings me so much joy," Buck retorts, and it's supposed to come out as a joke, but he's pretty sure that it ends up being a little too genuine.

"You almost losing your fingers while trying to fix the garbage disposal would not make me smile."

"That was one time!"

Chim, who has been watching their interaction with what seems to be rising amusement, seems to decide to put a stop to their bickering as he says: "You can squabble about that later, boys."

Buck and Eddie both roll their eyes, but they do start moving, the wife walking with them to the ambulance.

"How long have you two been together?" Kate asks, looking up at them from her position on the stretcher.

They share a look and Buck is starting to panic a little, and Eddie seems to be at a loss for words as well.

"They aren't," Hen, who has been watching it all quietly, ends up answering, "but that's because they're stupid."

She and Chim take over the stretcher, and Andy follows them and her wife into the back of the ambulance, leaving Buck and Eddie standing outside.

"So," Eddie says, smiling a little awkwardly, and Buck rocks himself back and forth on the balls of his heels, hands in his pockets. "You like to make me smile, huh?"

"Didn't think that would be news to you."

That puts a thoughtful look on Eddie's face, as if he's trying to remember something, and Buck is holding his breath. God, he's so in love that it's pathetic, and at this point Eddie has to see it, too, right?

"No, I guess not," he answers after a moment, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed about something. "I like it when you smile, too. Because of something I did. I mean, I like to make you happy, because-"

He cuts himself off, looking frustrated. Buck can hear Bobby calling for them from the engine.

"I get it, I feel the same," Buck tells him, and he hopes Eddie means what Buck thinks he means, but maybe he's reading too much into this. If that's the case, this is probably sounding a little too much like a love confession. "We can talk about it later? This feels like a conversation we shouldn't have here."

Eddie nods, and their shoulders bump as they walk back to the engine. When Buck glances to the side, their eyes meet, and Eddie smiles, small and private but with a look in his eyes that makes the hope inside Buck's chest swell ten times in size.

from the romantic confession dialog prompts

#oh look the mailman came by! #april.tag #kel.tag #swiftiediaz #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fic #911 fox

[thedawningofthehour]

You remember a few days ago you responded to that post about Donnie being a separate entity from Galois.

Well, you know about OK K.O? that cartoon created by Rebecca Sugar's husband that was unfairly cancelled because CN executives neglect almost everything but TTG? Well (SPOILERS) One of the most important plot points of the series is that the protagonist develops an alternate personality which embodies all the characteristics he doesn't like about himself, but which at the same time is, like, way more powerful than he is. Anyway, at one point the alternate personality takes over and the protagonist becomes a prisoner in his own body, TL:DR at the end the two personalities make peace and merge in a nice metaphor of self-acceptance.

I swear as I was reading I was imagining Galois and Donnie in a similar situation, K.O and T.K.O are the same person, as are Donnie and Galois, except the last ones have different memories. I don't think Donnie would hate Galois, at least not genuinely, but he couldn't help but have negative feelings towards him either, Donnie knows it's not Gale's fault, but the frustration combined with the helplessness, as this version of himself take control of his life and swallow all those lies... I wouldn't put it past Donnie to get to a point where he might hurt Galois just to get to Draxum.

(As I was writing this I realized that the person who helps create the alternate personality of the protagonist in Ok ko is also his father, who also happens to be a scientist specializing in biology, WHO ALSO happens to be Gay, well, bisexual).

Cartoon must have a deal with DC or something to constantly shove TTG down everyone's throat because I have never met anyone who actually thought it was a good show. Even kids in its target age range are at most 'meh' about it. It's just bizarre otherwise.

And you know, I find it real ballsy of them to try and recapture the success and acclaim of the original Teen Titans when they fucking cancelled the first series over a toy deal. It would be like Nick trying to put out a shitty chibi version of Rise in 2030 and whining because no one wanted to watch it. Let people make good shows, coward.

Ah, I haven't actually seen it, but that description does remind me of another character. But mine's kind of like

...Yeah. This is Dog or God, depending on which personality is in charge. He's not a zombie, he's a super mutant (a nightkin, but explaining the difference would involve explaining the plot of Fallout 1) and he's not supposed to look like that.

Dog is the slave of this asshole named Elijah, small-minded and suffers from violent outbursts and ravenous hunger. God is his voice of reason and restraint. Which doesn't mean he's on your side-if anything, God is much more difficult to work with because he actively antagonizes you. He sees Dog as a little brother he needs to protect, while Dog thinks of God as an intrusive voice in his head. All those scars are from Dog mutilating himself, even going so far as to shove his arm into a bear trap to keep the voice at bay.

It's never stated which identity was the original. Elijah thinks Dog is a second gen super mutant, who are intentionally made stupid (for lack of a better word) during the mutation process to make them more obedient soldiers, but God proves himself to be first generation, who generally have human intelligence. Yet nightkin are almost universally mentally disturbed as a result of their mutation and stealth radiation exposure, and super mutants are often shown to have voracious appetites and eat humans. His big finale takes place with Dog trying to kill himself and God frantically trying to save him, and you can either kill him, bury one of the consciousnesses, or reunite them and let him figure out for himself who he is.

...Looking at all that, it looks more like Tigerclaw if Tigerclaw had a split personality disorder.

But in general, Galois is not a split personality nor a separate consciousness from Donnie. He's just Donnie. He remembers things different and yes that's changed him a little, but Leo and all the other characters aren't the same people they were at the beginning either. It would be a lot easier if Galois was just some other guy living inside his head, but nope. It's all been Donnie.

#this is long and most of it had nothing to do with what you're talking about #apologies i'm writing a fight scene and they're very difficult for me #doth asks

[greatpawtender]

can you imagine post case 4 laurent calling up makoto and being like "Hey Do You Want To Do A Con Again" only for makoto to turn him down so completely that it kind of forces him to reassess his own goals and priorities and what he wants out of life now that his grudges have been settled.

because he just kind of Assumed that his way of living would work for makoto and that working with team confidence would set him down that same path for life (see: the parallels between the way he and makoto are treated by team confidence when they first join), because why Wouldn't it? and he probably thought makoto's genuine desire to be a good person and make an honest living was a result of conformity more than anything. (and it's not even like an honest life is Inherently Better, more that laurent, as someone who was never really able to lead that sort of existence, can't really understand its value beyond it being Safer)

the difference is that makoto doesn't enjoy hurting people, even if it's for a good cause, while laurent (imo) has a very "the end justifies the means" approach and is, I would argue, a lot more childish and petty.

with hindsight and the context of his own treatment, the way makoto is treated by team confidence starts feeling like projection on laurent's behalf. "I saw people fake die in front of me, so it's fine" "I wasn't told anything, so it's fine" "I suffered, but because it's all fake it's fine". tbh it feels like laurent never allowed himself to properly process any of his trauma besides the stuff that was "real" (and even in that case, he only really processed dororthy's death after the score had been settled), so he just expects that makoto will do the same thing and be fine, which is. not how it should go

I just think laurent should be given the chance to kind of. Think about team confidence more critically upon witnessing makoto's post case 4 depression that's all. I think he should go bug makoto at his new job and when makoto doesn't react at all and makes it very clear that he wants laurent Gone, laurent has to confront the fact that this sort of stuff really can fuck people up, and maybe he's a little less okay than he thought. and then he goes and whines to oz about it and then they make out idk

hi op. hi. hey . can i make out with you? no? okay sorry

AOUFUGHHF YOURE SO RIGHT YOURE SO RIGHT OG MY GOD this has been my EXACT thoughts regarding makoto and laurent too god they are so insane

i swear to god its like generational trauma between them 😭 its like the children dealing with what the parents dealt with when they were younger LMAOOO

god i am a sucker for post-case 4 cause there is no way everyone, at least makoto, will be okay after that. i agree so hard with makoto just not reacting At All instead of the comical GRAHHH NOOO YOU CAN'T ROPE ME INTO THIS AGAIN!!! but only in my hc i feel like makoto would just comply because hes so Tired

anyway id love to talk more aboit this but i am stupid but thank u op youre so smart and correct and hot

#great pretender #grepre #chair rambles #ask #anon ask #also laurent/oz is so correct thank you #i fully support this more than edaurent #NOT LIKE THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH EDAURENT #i am just not an edaurent guy unfortunately #anyway

[marianosbrixton]

mcyts as taylor swift songs; dtk + wilbur

pairings: dream, sapnap, georgenotfound, wilbur soot, karl jacobs x reader (separate)

summary: mcyts in a relationship as various taylor swift songs

warnings: a swear word in george and wilbur’s sections, references to unhealthy relationships in karl’s

a/n: i wasn’t joking when i wrote my bio 

masterlist | navigation

dream

invisible string, delicate, ours

✧ i considered putting wildest dreams on the list but i held back

“and isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

✧ i couldn’t find the clip, but dream said once on a stream that invisible string is his favourite taylor swift song (an impeccable choice, if you ask me)

✧ i also read somewhere that he said he usually likes songs for their lyrics, which makes it so much more endearing that he likes it

✧ dream seems like such a loving person, and it really warms my heart to think about him with someone he loves, seeing them almost like a gift from the universe

✧ being with you seems so right and so perfect that he can’t help feeling as though he was destined to be yours, like it was written in the stars from the beginning of time

✧ he’s silently thanking every god and every universe for giving him someone as incredible as you

“my reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me.”

✧ it’s pretty well known to anybody with internet access that people will do essentially anything to cut dream down and turn people against him

✧ sometimes it feels like every two seconds there’s somebody with a new rumour trying to ruin what he’s built

✧ dream’s reputation hasn’t always been the best because of this, and while it sucks, and i wish people could recognise how much of a genuinely good person he is, i can imagine being cancelled a million times would do wonders for weeding out the fake people

✧ like, once your name has been dragged through the mud and there’s no longer anything you can do for them, they’ll leave pretty quickly because all they want to do is get further up the ladder than you

✧ so, when yet another rumour has come around, dream half expects you to walk away from him. not because you’re some selfish gold digger, but because, in his mind, who wouldn’t?

✧ but you’re like “don’t be dumb?? i'm literally in love with you??”

✧ and he’s all *insert smiling teary eyed emoji here because i haven’t updated my mac in five years and i don’t have it* “okay :D”

✧ it makes him love you even more, and it solidifies what he already knew, that you’re with him for him, not for dream, or for any other false version of himself that social media is constantly trying to push on him

“the stakes are high, the water’s rough, but this love is ours.”

✧ like i said before, there’s constantly somebody begging to be the new threat to dream’s career

✧ there’s always somebody starting a rumour or saying something negative, and i can only imagine how overwhelming it can be, especially when there are people in your life that you want to protect

✧ i can see dream sort of warning you a little bit, maybe letting you know the risks of being with him if god forbid, one day people found out about you, and the kind of hell that would break loose

✧ he wants to be with you, but more than anything, he wants to keep you safe, and if that means scaring you away by letting you know what you’re getting into, so be it

✧ but you’re not stupid, and you already know this. you know how bad it could be and how daunting all of it seems, but you also know how lucky you are to have someone like him, not only in your life, but caring about you half as much as you care about him

✧ you also know that, yes, twitter is absolutely terrifying, but not having him in your life is even scarier. the consequences could be astronomical, and it may not always be the easiest journey, but goddamnit, you love him, and you won’t apologise to anyone for it

sapnap

cowboy like me, i’m only me when i’m with you, daylight

“you’re a cowboy like me, and i’m never gonna love again.”

✧ i wish i could give a reason for choosing this song beyond the use of the word cowboy but i really can’t

✧ i would, however like to take a moment to appreciate this song (it reminds me of rodrick heffley and heather hills but i don’t want to have that conversation right now)

✧ it follows the perspective of somebody who’s used to having to use rich people to find their way in the world and gave up on the idea of trying to find love

✧ but then they find someone who leads the same life as them (hence “you’re a cowboy like me”) and all of a sudden they’re in love and it’s like this massive, world-shattering thing

✧ they’re so used to swindling people and winning people over just to take the money and run the first chance they get, but out of nowhere, there’s somebody they want to do right by and it’s so beautifully written (”with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con” 😫)

✧ i also love the use of “i’m never gonna love again”, because most people view it as a heartbroken expression, but in this context, i interpret it as not wanting to love anyone ever again because you know you’ll never need anything more than the person in front of you (which, pertaining to sapnap, warms my heart <3)

✧ but anyway, cowboy sapnap supremacy 🤠

“you drive me crazy half the time, the other half i’m only trying to let you know that what i feel is true, and i’m only me when i’m with you.”

✧ i really need to stop choosing songs based on the fact that sapnap’s from texas but i really only picked this one because it’s from taylor’s debut album and it’s the most country one she’s made

✧ regardless, i do think it’s a good fit for him

✧ everyone knows that sapnap’s loud. he yells a lot, and he doesn’t try to hide it, which is very chaotic of him and could definitely result in him driving you up the wall a little bit, especially if you’re somebody that appreciates quiet environments

✧ if that’s the case, he would more than make up for it with soft forehead kisses and warm hugs while he mumbles muffled, “I’m sorry”s into your hair

✧ and how could you stay mad at him when he looks at you like you’re the only person he’s ever seen?

✧ he’s loud, and he’s occasionally unhinged, but he’s yours, and you know you wouldn’t be the same without him

✧ basically sapnap go ahead and scream directly into my ears, it’s fine 🥰

“i don’t want to look at anything else now that i saw you. i don’t want to think of anything else now that i thought of you.”

✧ sapnap’s pretty send tweet

✧ in all honesty i was reading a sapnap one shot while listening to daylight and it made my heart happy so i decided to put it on the list

✧ he’s just so 😍😍

✧ he’s so beautiful and he’s effortlessly funny and i can’t imagine dating him and not wanting to just look at him all the time

✧ he’s the best part of your life and everything is so much lighter and happier and overall just better with him around

✧ loving him makes you want to be a better person

✧ spoiler alert, he feels the same about you

george

cornelia street, message in a bottle, the way i loved you, london boy

“and i hope i never lose you, hope it never ends. i’d never walk cornelia street again. that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend.”

✧ it’s not a secret to anyone that george isn’t super outspoken in terms of his emotions, but i don’t at all think that means he doesn’t care very deeply about the people in his life

✧ i feel like maybe early on in the relationship, he’d be a little confused at all of these new feelings that seemingly came out of nowhere, and fair enough, emotions are hard, especially for someone who already has a hard time expressing them

✧ the reason i used cornelia street for george is because i feel like as confusing and messy as all of it might feel, one thing he’s absolutely sure of is how much he absolutely does not want to lose you

✧ he’s overwhelmed and he can’t think straight and nothing makes sense to him anymore, but he’d rather have all of those things than the gaping hole it would leave in his heart if you left

✧ he would spend the rest of his life missing you if he didn’t have you, and if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that.

“message in a bottle is all i can do, standing here hoping it gets to you.”

✧ like i said before, we know that george finds expressing his emotions a bit difficult

✧ i don’t think that would change a whole lot if he was in a relationship, and i can imagine that would frustrate him a little 

✧ you know he loves you, and he knows you know he loves you, but it wouldn’t stop him from being annoyed at himself for struggling so much to say it

✧ he would try to show his love for you in other subtle ways, like refilling the water you keep by your bed in case you wake up thirsty in the middle of the night, or folding your laundry for you when he knows you’ve been too busy to do it yourself

✧ small gestures like that would make up most of your relationship, and the reason i used this line specifically for george is that he’d see these little expressions of love as throwing a bottle into the ocean and hoping that, somewhere along the way, you understand what he’s trying to say

✧ all he can do is hope you know how big of a place you hold in his heart (and you do <3)

“i never knew i could feel that much, and that’s the way i loved you.”

✧ with this one, i’m adding onto the idea that the way george feels about you would sort of just come out of nowhere and hit him like a ton of bricks

✧ like, one day he’s completely fine, then all of a sudden he’s head over heels in love with you and he doesn’t know what to do with all of these new feelings because holy shit, that’s a lot of emotions to feel towards one person in such a short time

✧ it’s honestly a huge shock to him, because he didn’t even realise it was possible for a person to love that strongly or to feel something that big, let alone that it could happen to him

✧ loving you is a completely new thing for him (a whole new world, if you will)

✧ it’s scary, unexplored territory, but he’s a little less frightened of it with you by his side

“they say home is where the heart is, but god, i love the english”

✧ george gets an extra one because i believe miss swift wrote london boy about him

✧ i don’t really have much to say about this one, he’s english and he’s pretty

✧ that’s all <3

wilbur

you belong with me (taylor’s version), you are in love, hey stephen (taylor’s version)

“have you ever thought, just maybe, you belong with me?”

✧ wilbur’s said a bunch of times that this is his favourite taylor swift song, so i figured i couldn’t make a headcanon like this without including it

✧ wilbur strikes me as someone who’s very sure of himself, so i can imagine that when he meets someone he likes, he has this innate desire to show them how good of an addition he could be to their life

✧ not in a cocky ‘look at me, i’m so good’ kind of way, but more in a ‘i think you’re an incredible person and you deserve the best the world has to offer, please let me show you why i can be that for you’ kind of way, you know?

✧ he knows he can make you happy, he just hopes you give him the chance to prove it

“one night, he wakes, strange look on his face, pauses, then says, ‘you’re my best friend,” and you knew what it was. he is in love.”

✧ this is my favourite taylor swift song so bear with me as i go on a tangent

✧ the entire premise of you are in love as a song is the idea of not needing the person you’re in a relationship with to tell you they love you because you can feel it in everything they do (hence “you can hear it in the silence, you can see it with the lights off” etc)

✧ and specifically when you compare “i was thinking on the drive down, any time now, he’s gonna say it’s love” from all too well (ten minute version) to “you can feel it on the way home” like?? it’s a stark contrast between willing yourself to wait out a shitty relationship in the dwindling hope that your partner will do something, anything, to prove to you that they care about you and then being in a relationship where they wake up in the middle of the night to tell you how much you mean to them. well done, blondie, i’m floored.

✧ “you keep his shirt, he keeps his word.” as somebody who has never experienced a man keeping his word, i appreciate this line a lot.

✧ the reason i associate this song with wilbur is because, even through a screen, he seems like the type of person who just radiates love, and i don’t even mean in an exclusively romantic way.

✧ even when he’s just playing dumb games with people he cares about, you can tell from the way he talks to them and about them that him loving them doesn’t begin or end in the moments that he outwardly expresses it (i hope that made sense)

✧ in being loved by wilbur soot, you would never for a second have to question or doubt how much you mean to him, because he would be constantly proving it to you

✧ whether it’s through the little glances you catch him throwing your way, looking at you as though you’d hung the stars in the sky, or the way he gently runs his hands through your hair in the middle of the night, or perhaps the way his face subtly lights up when you enter the room or when someone mentions you in conversation

✧ wilbur would show you that he loves you, even if it killed him.

“all those other girls, well, they’re beautiful, but would they write a song for you?”

✧ self explanatory but i’ll elaborate anyway

✧ wilbur’s written songs about the darkest times in his life, so i can definitely see, when he finds somebody who gives him a reason to get up in the morning and makes all his days brighter, him writing a song, or multiple songs, about them

✧ it sort of goes along with what i said before about how he has this desire to show the person he loves how happy he can make them. he knows there are a million other people out there that can kiss you on the cheek and buy you flowers, but how many of them will write you a song about how they’d never felt love until they looked at you? 

✧ you, this beautiful human being who can make his whole day just by existing. he’s so sure that nobody else can love you as much as he can, and honestly, he’s probably right.

karl

begin again (taylor’s version), mine, stay stay stay (taylor’s version)

“you pull my chair out and help me in, and you don’t know how nice that is, but i do.”

✧ karl jacobs is an absolute sweetheart, that’s not a new concept, but karl with someone he loves?? sweetheart x3000

✧ i don’t believe for one second that karl wouldn’t treat the person he loves like they’re the most important person to ever exist, because to him, they are. 

✧ maybe you’re like me, and you’ve only ever had negative experiences with love and relationships, and karl recognises that and makes it his mission to shower you with so much love that you’ll forget that there was ever anyone else, let alone that they made you feel as badly as they did (yes i am speaking this into existence for myself and what of it)

✧ like, i can imagine him doing something really casually generous for you because he cares about you, and it’s such a small, mundane thing, but you’re so grateful because you’ve never had that before and he’s like ???

✧ because he physically cannot comprehend why somebody would be lucky enough to have you in their life and not treat you like the best thing that’s ever happened to them, because to him, you’re everything, and the thought of not giving you everything you deserve tears him up inside

“you are the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

✧ i feel like this one goes hand in hand with the previous section a little bit and the idea that you’ve had less than stellar examples of people, particularly partners, being good to you

✧ karl literally cannot fathom somebody not recognising how incredible you are, because you’re you.

✧ he knows that he’s never felt love like this, and he’s never felt such an urge to make someone happy. he never knew how much he wanted to put a smile on someone’s face until the smile was coming from you, and the thought wouldn’t even cross his mind that somebody hadn’t felt the same

✧ in a way, he’s mad at whoever didn’t treat you right, because damn, what a dumbass, but in another, he’s grateful, because maybe if they’d been smart enough to give you what you deserve, he wouldn’t have you. and, god, does that idea scare him.

✧ it’s not even that he couldn’t love anyone else but you, it’s that he doesn’t want to. he knows how lucky he is to have you and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“you took the time to memorise me, my fears, my hopes and dreams, i just like hanging out with you all the time. all those times that you didn’t leave, it’s been occurring to me, i’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.”

✧ we’ve heard from a few people, but mainly tina, about how karl’s really good at remembering small details about his friends and getting them random little gifts based off of what he remembers

✧ i’d imagine that he would try to remember every little thing about you, no matter how trivial, like what you wanted to be when you were a kid, or silly fears that arguably make no sense

✧ for example, i have a deeply irrational fear of pelicans. have i ever seen a pelican? no. do i have any real reason to be scared of them? of course not. regardless, i hate them and i want them all gone. (irrational fears make up 30-45% of my genetic coding, in case you were wondering)

✧ my point is, karl will remember everything about you, because you’re his favourite person and he loves you, and every time he learns something new about you, he falls for you all over again (he’s cute like that)

✧ going back to what i said about if you’ve had bad experiences with love, maybe you tell him something about you that people usually find strange, but it just adds to how in awe he is of you and the little things that make up who you are.

✧ you see him take interest in the things people have shamed you for, and you’re a little bit in shock, because wow, he isn’t looking at you funny or finding excuses for having one foot out the door. he’s not leaving, and you think you could get used to it.

#mcyt #mcyt headcanons #mcyt x reader #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader headcanons #mcyt x reader imagines #mcyt x reader fluff #dream #dream imagines #dream headcanons #dream x reader #dream x reader headcanons #dream x reader imagines #dreamwastaken imagines #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken headcanons #dream fluff #dreamwastaken x reader headcanons #dreamwastaken x reader imagines #dreamwastaken fluff #dreamwastaken x reader fluff #dream x reader fluff #georgenotfound #georgenotfound imagines #georgenotfound headcanons #georgenotfound x reader #georgenotfound fluff #georgenotfound x reader imagines #georgenotfound x reader fluff #georgenotfound x reader headcanons

[vivithefolle]

Whenever I voice my interpretation of Ron being bi, there's always someone in the comments who's like, "But that's stereotypical, just because he's soft doesn't necessarily mean he's not straight", and while I genuinely agree with the general idea of this, I just can't imagine Ron being grossed out if (or when) Harry confesses his undying love for him. What do you say about this argument?

"But that's stereotypical, just because he's soft doesn't necessarily mean he's not straight"

No yeah ok that's valid, absolutely.

Or rather. It WOULD be valid.

If we were talking about any character other than Ron.

People COMPLETELY refuse to acknowledge his soft side.

Even among Romione shippers, you've got all the "oooh sex god dom Ron making Hermione moan and whimper cuz he SO virile and super buff manly man ;)" and that makes me go akkdjzkfzfhjkflfhfhonononononono but yeah ok whatever.

In this godforsaken fandom everyone is SO fucking intent on claiming that Ron is "the token straight :)))" and I'm like, Hermione's (more like HETmione amirite) right here my dudes.

It's all because this stupidass fandom wants Ron to be lesser.

Supporting LGBT identities is great, so Ron MUST be the only straight among his group of friends and be mocked for it because the books have taught us that anything Ron does must be mocked or shut down. That Ron is "the average one". That Ron is "mediocre", the "not special" one...

In this fandom, Ron is forced into this role of "big dumb boy". Written to be "whipped into shape" by Super Goddess Feminist Hermione Granger who is SUCH a role model and empowering and has SUCH compassion for everyone (except for Ron cuz lol Ron's not worthy of compassion, he's just a boy).

So, whether Ron's bisexual or not, it's really just to do with his IMAGE.

This warped ugly image fandom has developed of him, of a stupid dumb boy that's just so basic masculine with sports and shit and needs Enlightened Hermione to teach him to not be a mean boy anymore :))) is TOTAL UTTER BULLSHIT AND I FUCKING HATE IT.

So go. Go and spread the word. Talk about how Ron Weasley is a total softie and an adorable malewife who WILL punch a bitch and swear like a sailor before offering his kids' friends cookies. Make it clear that if Malfoy ever got out of a fight with Ron alive it was only because Ron was being restrained. Tell the world that Ron is a gentle giant that is mindful of his strength and would NEVER use it to harm anyone he loves. TELL THEM ALL

#vivi answers #ron weasley #ron weasley defence squad #ron weasley defense squad #harry potter #hermione granger #romione #writing #bisexuality #sexuality headcanons #lgbt #malewife

[coinshotmisting]

I SWEAR TO GOD EMILY AXFORD I CANT

(Fantasy High Junior Year ep 6 spoilers)

watching fantasy high and writing this before I even continue watching cause it makes me so mad nothing after will make up for it

I get it. Emily plays low empathy characters who always act before thinking, and that's certainly a choice. it annoys me, especially how those characters constantly skirt by with comedy justifying their treatment of others, but whatever.

Honestly, part of the reason I put off watching Junior Year was Fig. I can't articulate what it is, but the way she interacts with the world forces me to have to pick between either entirely losing immersion, or feeling so deeply sick at the way she acts that I have to stop and collect myself.

I kept trying to convince myself I was overreacting but. I can't even bring myself to click back on the episode.

Context: it's the party at Fabian's house. they've decided to hate the 'Rat Grinders' because??? (it's genuinely unclear to me if this was an order the cast got off camera from Brennan/writers or what cause it seems excessive)

they find out the party got a new member over the summer. IMMEDIATE chance to recollect how you feel about them. it opens up questions that a sane person might ask with empathy or whatever.

Kristen and Fig do the creepy but understandable thing, and look up to see if the party had a previous cleric. they did. ok.

So, at this point, the pieces are all laid out, right? party had a cleric, they don't anymore. they got a new cleric over the summer.

And then, if you actually thought about it for 5 seconds: their identity is centered around low risk jobs, and we know they started with a cheerful, positive party name instead. one of the party members we *just met* got physically much stronger stronger over the summer (when the new cleric was recruited)

it's obvious right? like, I'm not insane, the implication is clear as day?

SO TELL ME

WHY

Emily's first thought is "Oh, let me disguise myself as the 'missing' party member and lurk in their peripheral vision."

I cannot articulate the reaction I had. theres no way Brennan can spin this where it's ok?!?!? like. genuinely, either you have to fundamentally hate other people or completely lack any curiosity and empathy to act that way.

just imagining this, I get so fucking pissed.

I dont care if they didn't actually die, this behavior from a PC based on what they know right now is unacceptable. im

I can't. I try to imagine someone pulling this in a game i ran, showing so little investment in the world that they what I'm doing simply doesn't matter to them, save the stat blocs I put inhetween them and 'winning'. ugh

I can't. I really can't. sorry for the long post ig but. this has always been a problem and it feels like it's the one thing from Fantasy High being a comfort piece of media for me. instead I have to wrestle with this stupid fucking character, and the ethical implications of her behavior.

#fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #figeroth faeth #im a little drunk so sorry #but oh my fucking god #AND THE THING IS #Ally Beardsly plays this so well!!!! #Kristen and Cassandra's relationship is so well done #cause its toxic and messy but Ally *understands* that #Emily Axford just blows past other characters as if they dont exist #farming their emotions for comedy instead of growth and drama

[brandnewhuman]

In my super sour skittles induced pain I am once again having small brain thoughts about unhinged men

MY NEW VICTIM IS ELIJAH. YOU ALL KNEW THIS WAS COMING BROS, I HAVE WAITED LONG ENOUGH TO BRING HAVOC INTO THE DBH FANDOM.

i was feeding my little silly obsession of the moment and I have notice something

I see so many writing Elijah as a creep or some sort of unhinged manipulator who gives zero fucks about anyone

I AM ONCE AGAIN GOING TO PROVE HOW YOU ALL ARE WRONG. I DID IT WITH BO SINCLAIR AND NOW IM GONNA DO IT WITH MY GEN Z KING

I hate the headcanon of him not caring about androids or being like some sort of perv towards anyone. While I do think he has a god complex I don't think he's that narcissistic and mean as everyone makes him out to be

I know, I just know he tries to overcompensate how insecure he is by putting on this more cold and calculate persona. I feel like he's the type of person who struggles to find a something to fit in, he fears people and is scared of the idea they might get of him so he just distance himself before anyone can get close enough.

Like I can totally see him doing the most to create a specific idea of himself to others so they don't have the chance to hate on his real self. He prefers to be criticise for what he has choose to be seen as rather for who he really is

I was ready a character study a couple of days ago about him being bullied a lot growing up and it totally makes sense with how he is. Like this man put himself into creating basically a replica of human life perfect and you mean to tell me that the only reason behind it it's because he wanted to be seen as some sort of god? NO, THIS MOTHERFUCKER WANTED A FRIEND AND HE ALWAYS FELT LIKE NO HUMAN PERSON WOULD EVER WANT HIM.

CHLOE WAS PERFECT TO HIM CAUSE SHE WOULD'VE NEVER LEARN TO BE AS CRUEL AS A HUMAN. CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG (DON'T DO IT BECAUSE IM NEVER WRONG) BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN AN ANDROID BEING CRUEL, CHLOE WAS ALL HE NEEDED BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND HIM AND GET TO KNOW HIM NO MATTER WHAT.

CAUSE HE ALWAYS FELT TO DIFFERENT AND OUT OF PLACE WITH OTHER PEOPLE SINCE EVERYONE THINKS OF HIM AS A EMOTIONLESS AND CREEPY BASTARD

HOW I KNOW? CAUSE I KNOW, I ALWAYS KNOW. HE JUST WANTED A FRIEND, AND I GENUINELY THINK HE WANTED TO CREATE MORE ANDROIDS SO EVERY PERSON WHO HAS EVER FELT LIKE HIM COULD FEEL LESS LONELY.

Like no FR imagine being 16 and being the weird super smart kid in a college full of older fuckers who are always treating you either as if you were just a stupid kid or as the bottom of the joke because of the things you like or BC of the way you are. IMAGINE HOW LONELY HE MUST HAVE FELT

listen, I used to be the type of kid who was considered super weird and I used to be like super affectionate with everyone which ended up in being brutally bullied I JUST KNOW THAT HE WAS THE TYPE OF KID WHO WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY AND KIND BUT EVERYONE MADE HIM FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. LIKE YOU DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF LIKE THAT OUT OF THE BLUE JUST BC YOU HATE INTERVIEWS AND STUFF, BRO IS QUITE LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF IM NOT JUST A BITCH, IM A BITCH WITH A BACKSTORY.

Also, I don't know why people say he doesn't care about androids and it's just happy causing problems ecc. HE VERY MUCH DOES CARE THANK YOU, I DON'T IF ANYONE HAS NOTICED BUT WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO SHOT CHLOE DURING THE KAMSKI TEST AND HE'S ANSWERING QUESTIONS ECC THERE'S A MOMENT WHERE HE GOES NEAR HER BODY AND PATS HER HEAD. I KID YOU NOT, I SWEAR I CAN ALMOST SEE HIM HESITATING BEFORE TOUCHING HER

You can't fucking tell me that man didn't almost had s fucking heart attack as soon as Connor and Hank left

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT SCRATCHED IDEA OF HIM HOLDING BACK THE OG CHLOE FROM GOING INSIDE THE POOL BC SHE'S NOT WATERPROOF

He's JUST A WEIRD KID AND HE'S GEN Z, HE'S NOT A CREEP AND HE'S NOT THAT MEAN. STOP THIS MADNESS OF MAKING HIM LOOK LIKE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT. HE JUST DIDN'T PICKED A FUCKING STRUGGLE, LEAVE HIM ALONE

#Elijah kamski #elijah kamski dbh #detroit become human #dbh #dbh fandom

[edgydadster]

SHARP INHALE I NEED TO "VENT". No it isn't sad it's not like last time's I just NEED to get it out and scream it into the void that is tumblr

Even if nobody listens I NEED to say it

I FUCKING LOVE HER. Jesus fuckin christ long distance is a pain in the ass. I miss her I want her here I'm just imagining us being together and oh I can't want until that day comes. I don't want to seem obsessive or over attached but every day I want to send paragraphs of how much she means to me but UGH that'd be annoying. I'd feel weird, I'd feel cringe, I'd feel so so annoying. I am cringe weird and annoying lmfao. Y'know I feel like such a boomer. On vacation I see like dumb couple things even if it's just those stupid matching shirts or those cringey quotes but it makes me SMILE. I was at a candle lit dinner with my family and I looked over to my left to see a table for two. All I thought about was us sitting at that table. In the dark, with a tiny lil candle, eating food and being silly together. All a guy could ask for... Always wanna send her stuff like that but I feel cringey. ... Y'know. God I can't believe I'll probably have to wait years. I'm willing though. I don't care how long it takes. I'll wait. It's hard but oh I can't IMAGINE how good it'll feel. I get butterflies and red faced even when I just get a message saying "hi." Every little bit of text got me laying down kicking my feet giggling. I've genuinely never felt so in love with someone. Even to my ex I never loved her this much which I feel bad saying but it's the truth. I'm head over heels for this fucking doofus, or... however that saying goes. Don't remember what half of them mean lmfao. I swear my head's going to explode with all the blood rushing to my cheeks whenever we talk, hang out... Christ she's the prettiest, hottest, funniest, funnest...etcetc person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I cry thinking about where I'd be if we had never met. ... And became friends over a tankmen reference, lmfao. Hhhh sorry I just needed to say that. I'll go fuel my brain with thinking about Cycass now since it reminds me of us lol

sorry for any grammar mistakes i'm not revising this this is just off the top of my silly little head

#rant

[larrythefloridaman]

Been rewatching bits and pieces of cpuk season one for fun and taking notes of funny stuff we dont talk about much in the discord and thinking abt it in the context of later seasons/information and its very fun. This is stuff from 1-5 (will likely update as i get further in this partial rewatch, under readmore for spoilers of later parts of the series and keeping the post short)

Hamhel and dadondorf apparently taught jimbo 'butt/butts' is a swear word but 'fuck' isnt. Jimbo is really interested in music as we know but also distinctly very bad at it. Jimbo's biological parents are dead, but left him a LOT of money and as a result spending too much money on shit he doesn't need became his favorite coping mechanism and, following the divorce, he used up all of his inheritance money and started dipping into the family funds, which is when Dadon and him start having Problems. Jimbo is extremely hamhel's kid neither of them should be trusted with any kind of power. Jimbo, i know you've been through a lot and the dad that was demonstrably better at connecting with you is being Fucked Up And Evil Right Now but honey, the shopping addiction is not gonna make your life any stabler. listen to zzzzzzoey. go to therapy. 'Jimbo tried to summon satan to kill his dad' is a thing thats said. Which. gestures in crimson's general direction. funny. Jimbo is peak 'remember when you were 15 and convinced you were evil and irredeemable but really you were just 15' except at this point hes like, 13 max im pretty sure and also hes Really stupid (affectionate.) (CPUK1)

Dadondorf is personal friends with Cranky Kong. Hamhel claims he threw a match in winners finals against Dad to give him a fighting chance and I think he's full of shit as ever <3 Dadondorf to Jimbo: "I'm sorry, It's just- I know you miss your other dad, but we'll get through this together." bro dont talk to me about to wring hamhel's dumbass neck, you dumb son of a bitch meat man abandoning your family for demonic power to recapture your glory days im gonna KILL Y- hes better now its fine im fine theyre fine. man imagining what the winners finals and championship match between dadon and hamhel at the end of cpuk1 would be like with season 2-3 style voiceacted storytelling has me fucked up. itd kill me i think .

Zzzzzoey's apparently like. 18 years old in cpuk1????? If thats still canonical shes in her fuckin. early 20s now. what the Fuck. more like a cool big sister to Jimbo convincing him to go to therapy and helping him reconcile with his dad like that than a peer. (CPUK1)

Patchman apparently worships some kind of obscure scarecrow harvest god called Scarny, and either his ratspeak was kind of rusty or he genuinely briefly forgot what science was because when he called Zapmouse the work of the devil and Zapmouse corrected him by saying he was a product of science he said he didnt believe in scientology. Zapmouse is explicitly an atheist. Zapmouse also likes to use elaborate threats to get his point across. Zapmouse ended a friendship and threatened to rip out a person's teeth for patronizing him by calling him their pet to explain why they were talking to a rat. (CPUK2)

Grundy, the Grunk's brother, has a confirmed skin, he's represented by the green bowser when they talk about him during the Grunk's intro! He and the Grunk lived in Tennessee, and he's a famous and respected restauranteur specialized in Southern Comfort Food whose critical opinion is so highly respected a bad yelp review from him can tank businesses. He, and I quote, 'sucks.' they talk about grundy so much in the grunk's debut episode it's kinda funny that he's never shown up. They even raise the idea of introducing him as a fighter at some point. although considering his brother died being part of kerfuffle and then he kept doing it and let his son participate too, i dont blame him for not wanting to get involved. People apparently start beef with the Grunk sometimes just for being related to Grundy, considering sauceboss. maybe they just don't. talk anymore. (CPUK4)

Home MD really likes fish and cares about the ocean as an environment, Alfred even throwing out the idea that he wears black in grim remembrance of the Mozilla Oil Spill. i wonder if this interest was present before the time loop or if it developed during. What im asking is what came first hackshifter aquarium dates or home md getting just like really into maintaining his doctors office fish tank as a coping mechanism. Did Larry frequently get into physical altercations with litterers at the beach growing up or is that new. They say Home MD saw Finding Dory and cried. they also, unrelated, say Home is so old he canonically uses internet explorer. Fucking mean to him!!! he's like 25ish at this point in the loop! I know he has the exhaustion in his eyes of a man twice that age but leave him alone!!!!!!! (CPUK4) (Sidenote its so fucking funny to me that even during the home timeloop larry was picking fights with hamhel. He wants to kick that old mans ass so bad but it'll never happen. I think larry greets hamhel every time they meet by trying to put him in a headlock and casually failing. Their weird frenemy relationship is so funny to me)

Firefox is a Mega-Corporation that has its fingers in lots of things, the browser's just the main thing they do. So in the kerfuffleverse mozilla as a company is kinda like google as a company is in the real world. Mozillas dead as hell and Nightly hates his ass and has understandably complicated feelings about family but it's unclear in my memory if he's still like, involved with the company or the rest of his family in any way. Is nightly a disowned out of touch ex-richboy or what (CPUK4)

it is funny that the lowkey bloodlust has been whats stuck about Corn most into the present from her debut. Alfred: "corn really just put a knife to this man's (home md) neck and said 'i'm here to take your blood.'" She craves violence and always has and i respect it (CPUK4)

ICEE was a huge superfan of ICEE who got sponsored as a result of him promoting the brand through his very public love of it abd as such has some amount of unofficial pull with the company. Spriteman is not sponsored. The coca cola company does not want to be associated with Spriteman in any way, shape, or form. his sheer violent feverish devotion to that citrus soft drink is completely fucking unmarketable to them. If cpu kerfuffle wasn't distinctly unaffected by the law he'd probably be getting sued for so aggressively stanning their product in such an intensely unflattering way on a public platform. Also christ in a clown car he was stuck perfect for SO LONG he went perfect between cpuk3 and cpuk4, and didn't recover until cpuk20. This man was in a feral state and not fully in control of himself for a bit under 2 years i think? he is So rusty at being a human. In the first episode he was 'Perfect,' he seemed fairly lucid, which is. Upsetting. because it implies that he slowly lost that lucidity until he was the 's-sprite' stammering beast he was by the time g2 rolled in. 

Yung Papaya's snake exorcist dad was described as being half demon before becoming a snake, and his name is actually Rod. These are some of the only things the snake priest dad remembers from his life before being transformed into a snake aside from his work as an exorcist. I have no additional commentary on this i just think its funny (CPUK5)

The Light Void is, apparently, a void of pure light and an entity that instead of consuming or encompassing things as one might imagine the maw of the void to do, allows things to take of it whatevers needed that it can give. a sort of metaphysical wellspring hammerspace of potential, it sounds like. One of the many odd, complex and multifaceted world-crafting forms of Spectrum's divinity, perhaps? its emissary, corrupted into the cbt demon, is described as having little sentience/autonomy to begin with, so it's tricky to exorcise because it lacks much of a will of its own to free, and doesn't have the capacity to desire to be freed, as it exists to serve whatever purpose its needed for. It can only speak occasionally, and it's very direct and lacks personality. (CPUK5)

In CPUK5's intros, ryan says dan is a geeksquad employee that was Sent Into The Game. Like A Normal Guy From Real Life Literally Sent Into The Video Game. Its compared repeatedly to scooby doo cyberchase. nccts stuff clarifies this is arguably pretty normal for the fighters origins but Dan was literally intentionally isekai'd here from Normal Actual Real Life to help try to deal with hamburger helper. Every Dan Is Explicitly From Another World. Also he seemed like he was having so much genuine fun fighting Al compared to his whole Comedically Tired Cosmically Tormented Everyman thing hes got going on now and also for like the whole rest of his time in even this tournament. Also apparently he fixed icee's ipod once and returned it and all the music was gone except 15 copies of ice ice baby with one under pressure. blows kiss love u dan <3

Alfred: "Alabaster Uppercut has been fighting for 27 years, and dedicated the other two to teaching children how to do the uppercut just like him" oh my god was Al already like 29 when cpuk5 happened. Is Al in his early thirties now. Also he says Al was already very respected and well-known in his home village and he was once ideologically pacifist and only signed up for cpuk because a group of other competitors viciously defamed him and his village and called him a pussy on social media and one of the village kids started getting bullied over it and that's what crossed a line with him, which is interesting. Ya boy loves the fight for the sake of the fun of the fight now but he supposedly used to Very Much Not Like Fighting Pointlessly At All? Originally more of a 'practices a martial art as a meditation and preservation of heritage' kind of guy before discovering The Joys Of Consensual Sportsman's Violence

[incarnateirony]

Found 2po's super secret source.

She tweeted it out on twitter.

She's literally just another M&G con brat like 2po being sold shit as a consumer and they're all falling for it again, god bless.

Anyway I can't wait for all of 2po's super secret info drops of butchered information next week:

Will you guys PLEASE stop talking to 2po. Not even for me. Just he sucks so fucking hard we find you in like 2 minutes he's gonna fuck your whole world up jesus christ how are you all so lame

Imagine being so cringe you not only pay money to ask them that in a M&G, but expect them to answer honestly while you are in fact paying them for the J2 brand. My god. The stupidity is astounding. Literally just a fundamental lack of understanding of not just this show, or TV, but like, how the world in GENERAL works, holy CHRIST. How do these people not get disappeared in dark alleys being this gullible.

2po's source is SO VERY IN THE KNOW GUYS! He swears. She knows J2 so well she PAYS TO SEE THEM JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. But she's paid a LOT. And obviously, that couldn't be lack of intelligence. That just must mean she really knows them, right, right?

You wanna know why that lane sucks ass at intel? It's because they're this fucking dense. What an absolute clown show. And yet again, 2po's "sources" are revealed to be a circle jerk of nobody consumers in meet and greets, when it isn't a twitter thread, or reddit post, or clickbait article.

I genuinely don't understand how ANYBODY isn't embarrassed to follow him when time and time again he's just shown to be a fraud vaguing his way through shit to sound important. I don't care how much you hate me, or the Winchesters, there HAS to be a limit to how far you grovel at the feet of someone you KNOW is faking at every single turn being proven to be a vagueblogged crosspost from somewhere else he tries to sound special or connected for, and never pans out true, but they keep filing in to hear what they want. Jesus christ. Get some fucking dignity.

2po being this bad with info is also HOW Gayle and Suzanne got busted. I know hookerwitch is trying to delete history like this didn't go viral in front of a couple hundred people while confirmed by MULTIPLE M&G participants even publicly, and/or is letting all of tumblr know how gullible she is, one or the other, but like. Damn. Jesus. Why do you even use this guy. You guys are all dumb but he's like your crem-de-la-crem of incompetence and fucks you up every time. Like the perfect highlighter I get to use all the time to show how you guys are all smoke and mirrors. Big neon yellow lines through your shit.

You guys big mad that 2po fucked up your lies again and made it well recorded? Start taking it up with him. These are his shits he keeps leaving in the pool and the skittles trail only leads one way. If you want people to stop being able to track you straight down to your bullshit, maybe don't work through a braindead goblin that blows up all your lies, plans, twists, spins, rewrites, and everything else.

If you're gonna have a propaganda account in fandom, at least TRY to look competent. But it's too late to put that cat back in the bag, witchy. CE know. TPTB know. Everyone knows. It's just widened the list of people they're looking to expunge, and those people are starting to feel it, displayed by their own shifting attendance. It's over, you lost. Go home. And maybe you should do something about 2po before his incompetence burns down the few things you love that might be left after the transition.

[loversj0y]

Ohh boy ok

L’manbur my beloved. 

Here’s part two. Maybe the next part will be the angsty part

Can you imagine President Soot announcing the elections and learning that the reader immediately enrolled as a candidate. He’d be annoyed, but also a strange mixture of proud and exhilarated. 

This is another enemies AND lovers moment y’all. (want to hc that someone actually suggested impeachment or a vote of no-confidence against President Wilbur a couple times– which the reader actually refused to do, marking the one and only time that they defended wilbur on the political stage, saying that government should be run through debate and consideration and not mindless evictions, yada yada. Wilbur was looking at them like 😳). 

Anyway the day comes for the candidates to choose their running mates— I don't remember how that went down in canon, so I'll make some stuff up. Let’s assume that each candidate gives a short speech and then announces their future VP. It’s like a publicity stunt, getting their names out there for people to remember and hopefully vote for. 

There’s this one guy in L’manburg, let’s just call him Archibald or something (old man, dude in his 40s), who vehemently opposes everything the reader does. He doesn’t like Wilbur either

Despite all of this, A r c h i b a l d  is not a complete prick. He cares for L’Manburg in his own way, even if his tactics and views don’t align with his peers. He amassed quite a following, but wasn’t chosen as a political candidate, and resorted to glaring at the other contestants from his place in the audience. 

Back to the reader. Now, they know they are at an extreme disadvantage here. Public speaking is not their thing– shady, one-on-one contract deals are more their style. Talking to a crowd? Forget about it. They need to take a gamble. 

Wilbur chooses Tommy as his VP, Quacktiy chooses George, Fundy chooses Niki, and they choose…. Archibald.

The stadium goes silent, flabbergasted, as they announce their pick. Some of the reader’s close constituents look offended, and Archibald looks flabbergasted. But he isn’t going to pass up this opportunity– not yet at least. He shakes their hand and joins them on stage. 

By drawing a truce with their worst political enemy and showing the citizens that they are willing to work with opposing ideals,  the reader has pulled what we call a pro gamer move. 

Wilbur is a little impressed? Maybe?

Just imagine him standing on the other end of the stage, elbows on the podium, head resting against his fist as he just grins. 

Imagine his vaguely flirty behavior with Quackity, but doubled.  

Man knows how to roll an insult, pick-up-line, and partially-backhanded/partially-genuine compliment into one. 

Still too cocky to think he’ll lose the elections though. 

I swear i had other ideas about this but they won't come to me.

Also: no romance/jealousy scene is implied with Archibald. he's just some old guy politician who becomes a coworker.

also also: completely (?) unrelated but IMAGINE BEING PRESIDENT SOOT'S TAILOR. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE TENSION THAT COMES WITH STANDING BEHIND SOMEONE AS YOU LOOP A MEASURING TAPE AROUND THEIR WAIST---

anyway i am normal about this skrunkly./.,,,, elegeeant absastard.

god the sexual tension between wilbur soot and political opponents…….

the idea of tommy as his vp in this scenario seems to funny to me bc of the clips where tntduo would be havijg an intense discussion and tommy would just go. “ARE U GUYS KISSING” because he’d definitely do that

post debates, coming off stage, both a little sweaty and worked up from nerves, and wilbur’s just standing there looking too hot for his own good, so the reader picks something absolutely stupid to just fucking yell at him about, and they’re getting in each other’s faces, literally lips seconds apart, arguing in fancy political and business terms, and then tommy turns the corner. pauses.

“wilbuh can you stop MAKING OUT with the ENEMY”

also love the pro gamer move on readers part. thats actually a genuinely smart political show (until it becomes time to pass legislation but theres a reason they changed the law about who the VP ends up being (thanks hamilton))

also I HAVE THOUGHT ABT THAT MANY TIMES MAN OH MY GOD

he’s standing there, stressed and tired, and theres a lot of tension as you wrap your arms around him to measure his waist and in his exhaustion, he thinks you’re trying to hug him, and he just. fully leans into it, exhausted and wanting affection <3 and as his personal tailor, you will gladly do so and then help walk him to his room to make sure he sleeps well (and doesnt get any of his fancy clothes that you just made messed up ffs he loves gis gunpowder but that shit stain’s permanently!!!! hold on. my knowledge of gunpowder just gave me a separate idea but i dont have enough there to share yet so im going to ignore it BUT STILL)

#mar answers #c wilbur :3 #lmanbur #listenheresweaty :3