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adamfoolcry · 3 years

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i hate you, i love you (k.dy)

it's valentine's day and you try your hardest not to fall back in the arms of one kim doyoung - your former boss, recluse and closed off, your fuck buddy - whom you are completely in love with.

pairings: CEO!Doyoung x Fem!Reader, Johnny x Fem!Reader rating: 18+ genre: angst and smut warnings: swearing, explicit sexual situations - hate sex, dirty talk wc: 3k+ prompt: 'i hate you'

a/n: This is a part of Candy Hearts Collab hosted by @127-mile . Text in blockquote are text messages.Thank you for beta reading simmi(@sly-merlin ) and indi(@ncteaxhoe). Not proofread excuse the mistakes please contact me if you would like to do so. Enjoy! - xo aria

Doyoung:

I don't know if you'll even read this but if you do, I want you to know that what we have for two years was not a game for me. Maybe we can't start being honest with each other. When you make up your mind you know where to reach me.

Mina really knows how to dress you up to the nines, you'll give her that.

"It's not bad," you nod at your reflection approvingly as you examine the dress you wrestled yourself in, clinging to your body in the right places effectively enhancing your silhouette. The soft silky texture of satin feels exquisite against your skin however you can’t exude the confidence the dress might have channeled you with. You don’t feel grand in fact you feel the opposite;

You want to cancel the date.

"Oh for christ's sake, ______. Maybe try to put some enthusiasm into this," Mina spun you around to face her, your back to the whole body mirror where a while ago you two were examining the outfit she picked up from the back of your closet - where dressier clothing of yours reside not seeing the light of the day unless for special occasions.

Placing both her hands on your shoulders, "You were so excited when you called me to pick something to wear. What happened?" She further inquired.

You heave a sigh, "I don't know I am just not in a mood to go out on a date with a stranger," you admitted.

Mina pulls your eyes back to hers, gleaming with determination. "You are ______, an economics major who graduated on top of her class, who landed a new job as a senior financial analyst despite being in the industry for only three years. Now repeat it," Mina orders you.

"What does it have to do with -" you rolled your eyes, and whined dramatically.

She clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth in displeasure, "Go on say it"

"I am ______, graduated on the top of my class and landed a new position as a senior financial analyst despite my tenurity," you mumble in a low voice.

"Good," Mina coddled you as if you are an infant who uttered her first word, "now add I am young, smart, and men want me."

You open your mouth to protest but Mina only pinned you with a hard look and you know you will not be getting out of this until you do as she says.

"I am young, smart, and men want me." You did as she told you.

Begrudgingly you did feel a lot better.

This is the third step of banishing Kim Doyoung in your life entirely.

First is to send a resignation letter - done.

Second, secure a new employment - done.

Third is to pursue a romantic relationship.

"Now let's get you ready for your date." Mina pulled you to the present, squeezing your bare shoulders to comfort you.

"I know that what you did is really hard. The sudden big change and all but today's Valentine's day you need to have a little fun today."

"I know Mina, now do my makeup." You pulled her to where your vanity table is located as you paste a smile on your face in order to placate her worries.

--------

If people were to know why you are doing this they might have called you silly.

After graduating from university you were offered the position of financial analyst in his company - a small but budding start up in Tech. Never would you have expected to land a job in your chosen field straight out of college. You are doing what you have envisioned yourself doing: analysing the trends and forecasting sales of the company's cloud solutions. You are comfortable with your current living situation, not what you have imagined after your parents cut you off no longer sending you an allowance. You thought you'd be working your ass off to make ends meet. Thankfully, the pay was high enough for you to live in an apartment in the city, pay your bills in time, and afford luxuries you knew that most people your age wouldn't have the money for.

Everything seems perfect right? A job that you genuinely love, good pay, living in the heart of the city but of course you just have to develop feelings for your boss: Kim Doyoung. And that complicates everything; enough for you to decide to completely start over again.

Kim Doyoung has managed to worm into every nook and cranny of your life.

Kim Doyoung is a magnetic man, of few words, stern straight brows, and wide shoulders swaddled in elegant suits. He runs the company based on data-driven decisions unafraid of taking risks that produces the highest profitable outcome. Working at his company where all ten workers directly reports and closely works with him, you and your colleagues have developed quite a personal relationship with him. It was not conventional per se but you guess this is how all start-ups operate with a slightly different work culture. Unlike big corporations there is no bureaucracy, filling for leaves can just be a phone call or a visit to his office.

As his only financial analyst almost never leaving his side. You'd like to think that Doyoung might have developed a soft spot for you, maybe not in a romantic sense but in a platonic friendly way. He values your opinion enough that he asks for your input in any pivotal decisions either in work or his personal life. Whether to facilitate the migration to cloud as external contractors of big corporations or to oversee the renovation of his penthouse. And in small things too honestly, after all he asked for your help to decide whether the decor should be a Bohemian vibe or modern minimalistic black and grey.

That was until you fucked after the in-office celebration of closing a big contract. One moment he is talking about the vase that serves as a centerpiece of his dining table that you helped him pick, the next he was pulling your arm leading you to a dimly lit room.

Yes, you did drink but you were sober enough to protest if you didn't want it; who are you kidding? Of course you wanted it to happen. Not one word of objection was uttered as he pinned you to the wall with your legs circling his waist. Instead of protests what left your lips was series of moans and his name in breathless pleas that he had to stuff your mouth with his fingers or else your colleagues will hear the two of you having sex two rooms away from them.

Doyoung slipped out of you stepping back to let you down.Your stilettos made a clicking noise as it came in contact with the tiled floor that echoed in your eardrums; deafening. Coming back down to earth and from your high is also the moment when you realized the mess you put yourself into by fucking Doyoung - your boss - in a storage room.

You righted both your disheveled appearances - to look as normal as possible - in order to go back to the pantry where the celebration was still in full swing. The tense silence that wrapped the atmosphere makes you want to shrivel in shame, both of you were aware of the line that you have crossed.

The unspoken words were hanging in the air -

It was a mistake. Let's forget this ever happened. - and you refused to acknowledge the elephant in the room, the stillness making you uncomfortable by the second.

"_______ -," Doyoung started.

"We don't have to talk about it Doyoung."

You moved for the door, not looking back to peek at Doyoung's expression. You just wanted to get out of the dusty storage room, the stuffy air and Doyoung's proximity, suffocating you.

You thought you were smart enough not to make the same mistake again but you seem to have a penchant for getting hurt because you did it again and again every chance you got. When the effects of orgasm are wearing off and you are left naked and vulnerable you always find yourself swearing that it will be the last time but you already knew you were lying.

You just can't get enough of Doyoung even though it hurts to pretend that each encounter was meaningless.

Sleeping with someone where you never knew where you stand at is excruciatingly painful.

You can't be jealous when you hear about the new girl he's with because you have no right.

It is painful when Doyoung gives you some false hope. Visiting you almost everyday in your small office bearing lunch for the two of you. He often spends half of his day loitering in your space, perching himself on the corner of your desk pushing around the knick knacks around your desk while you are busy with work.

Only to dash it when he tells you about the latest girl he's seeing which would mean your ears would bear the brunt of his relationship woes until it falls apart only for the vicious cycle to repeat again when he found himself in another one of his flings.

Everyday as he asks for relationship advice you feel yourself getting worn out and the green eyed monster roaring it's head, you try your hardest to tamp it down with your rational thinking.

What hurts the most is he started his series of flings a week after you hooked up, rubbing on your face that it means nothing to him at all.

So after countless hours, days, and months of anguish you started planning your escape.

--------

There are so many thoughts running through your head it starts with: Did I overdress? Is Johnny having a good time?

Then drifts into completely unrelated manners.

Did I manage to say goodbye to all of my co-workers? Clear out my desk in my office? Surrender my elevator pass to the friendly security guard? Retrieve my favorite mug in the pantry?

Will everything be ok? Will I excel at my new company? Will I fit in a big corporation?

Will I miss Doyoung?

Am I doing the right thing?

Johnny cleared his throat which broke your reverie, your eyes settling in his face but Johnny seems to find the table napkin worthy of his attention rather than maintaining eye-contact with you.

"I had fun today but I think -," You see Johnny hesitating to continue his sentence, linking and unlinking his fingers instead.

You get it and you can't blame Johnny for his lack of interest. You were barely with him today after the small talk had died down and the two of you had finished your meals. You didn't make an effort to get to know him, the conversation was one sided as you barely threw the questions back at him; replying in terse short sentences as if you would rather be anywhere but having dinner with him.

"Yeah me too but it's really nice to spend Valentine's with you though and getting all dolled up. Makes me forget I am single," You joked and flashed him a smile; relieved, Johnny finally met your eyes as his actions mirror yours curving his lips into a smile.

-------

You hailed a cab for a ride back to your apartment, settling in the backseat you instructed and gave the address to the driver as his radio blasted cheesy romantic songs in your ear, making you feel more disappointed with how bad your date with Johnny went.

As the cab speeds through the city, the citylights intermingle with each other creating a spectrum of colors that bounce back at the cab’s windows, the scenery of skyscrapers blurring past your eyes and your mind returns back to musing which you know is a dangerous territory because somehow your mind always returns back to him.

Doyoung

What exactly did you want to be with Doyoung?

You want him to like you? No, You want to mean something to him, to be the special person he runs to whenever he's devastated, to be the first person he calls when he's completely utterly bursting with joy. You want him to be completely aware of your presence that even just a mere mention of your name will evoke something in him, make his heart beat a little faster and cause some flush to bleed through his cheeks.

You want him to be endeared with your habitual tics - how you drum your fingers in every surface when you are in deep thought, a line maring your forehead between your brows and make his lips itch to kiss it. You want him to be captivated with your idiosyncrasies and find it charming, you want him to adore everything about you that made you, distinctly you.

You want him to want you.

Your phone vibrated and interrupted your stupor and upon seeing Doyoung’s name attached to the notification. Your fingers quickly unlocked your phone, fingers ringing from an adrenaline rush just from the sight of his name.

Doyoung:

Come over?

And just like that you inform your cab driver to make a detour and drive to Doyoung’s instead.

Doyoung opened the gigantic door of his penthouse where he found you on the other side of the door, shifting your weight from foot to foot, nervous to be in the same perimeter as him. When the gap was big enough to see you his eyes roved over to your body and noted that you were dressed up nicely for a date. His eyes then turned into slits as he glared at you.

“Have fun with your date?” He questioned and you can see his jaw set - the muscles clenching tight.

You didn’t answer, you don’t want him to know the pathetic evening you spent with Johnny as your mind drifts to thoughts of him; instead of actively participating with Johnny’s effort of back and forth.

As if knowing that you wouldn’t answer, his arms went to grab your forearms pulling you inside and leading you to the stairs up his loft where his bed is, you followed meekly behind him. Reaching his loft you look around and try to commit to memory the layout of the room; promising yourself that this will be the last time you will set foot in this room.

Doyoung attached his lips to your neck which drew a soft moan from you, spurred by your sounds he continued to ravish your neck oscillating between harshly sucking and peppering soft kisses on the expanse of the skin of your neck. His hands running at your sides smoothly and gradually getting closer to the underside of your breasts with each pass, when he finally cupped your mounds you arch in his palms further pushing yourself closer to him, greedy for his attention from all the teasing that he has done.

When he spoke again it fanned over the nape of your neck making your skin tingle from the warmth, “Why can’t you understand that I am the only one who can make you feel this way.”

You can smell the residue of whisky on his breath and you wanted to taste it on your tongue even though from all the times you have slept with him you two have never kissed. You have drawn the line there for kissing is much more intimate than slapping bodies againsts each other for satisfaction. Kissing can be done without sexual notions but a simple act between couples and it is a glaring truth that you two were not.

You found yourself naked and sprawled on his queen size bed where you have lain your back many times but never spent a night in. Even the off white color of his ceiling is familiar to you as if mocking you for all the times you said you wouldn’t see it again. As he slips your dress down your body, your eyes water and it pooled in your eyes ready to spill over. ‘This is the last time,’ you tell yourself again, 'this is the last time that I will be Doyoung’s beck and call.' When he was finished trailing his lips down and also discarding his clothes at the other side of the bed you managed to swipe the tears that gathered in your eyes and look at him.

Towering over you he was a sight to behold and you trace the line of his body with your eyes, caressing the dips on his collarbones and the line that leads down to his cock as his face coil into a smirk smug with the knowledge that he can turn you into a whimpering mess.

“What do you want?” He asked while splaying his hands on your stomach, his thumb drawing circles on your clit which made your moans even louder and your pussy clench on nothing. You hate that he was the only one who can make you feel this way, reducing you into a pleading mess as you move your hips to the rhythm that he has set.

You don’t have to tell him your guttural whines already told him what you wanted and he obliged inserting his length into you slowly, while you gripped his sheets until your knuckles turned white. You loved the way he filled you and the burn that accompanies when he stretched your clamping muscles on him.

So you let all your reasoning go because Doyoung’s cock pumping inside you felt good, too good.

He knows your body like an instrument, putting the right pressure and hitting the spots that makes you throw your head back repeatedly. You can feel the falter in his quick thrusts and knows that he is near his end. Doyoung makes this one sound at the back of his throat when he orgasms … and you follow suit too as he falls apart.

It took a few seconds for him to untangle his legs and arms from your figure and it took you a couple of minutes of staring at the walls, waiting until you felt your legs can support you before you stood up and searched for your dress and undergarments. You can hear the rustle of the sheets as Doyoung sits on his bed watching your back as you slip on your panties and pull your dress back in its place.

“So tell me why did you leave the company?” Doyoung asked, his voice ringing loudly in your ears.

“I told you already I want to work in a big company,” You try to answer nonchalantly.

“Really? Or does it have something to do with me?

“Oh for fuck’s sake Doyoung. The world doesn’t revolve around you!” You shouted at him as you turned around to face him. Your ire rising as you see the cold stoic look on his face - unaffected by your outburst.

“Then why does it feel like you are running away from me?” He stood up from the bed and warily approached you as if you will lash at him any moment.

“I hate you,” (I love you) you whispered under your breath the words not meant from his ears but he heard it anyway. Disbelief painted his features he cannot grasp the reason why you are suddenly acting like this.

He reached out to touch your arm but you swerved his hand like a hurt animal nursing a wound and Doyoung then noticed your bloodshot eyes and defensive stance.

“Don’t touch me. Whatever destructive thing this is Doyoung, I am done. We’re done,” You stated bluntly your voice devoid of emotions a complete contrast with how you hugged yourself tightly with your arms.

“You don’t mean that,” Doyoung said adamantly as color drained from his face, making his pale complexion - paper white.

“You can’t just walk away,” He added more to convince himself than you because he can see that hard look in your eyes - already set in the decision of walking away from him.

“Watch me Doyoung,” your lips curved into a cruel bitter smile.

You leave him with those words as he watches your retreating figure until it completely disappears from his line of vision.

--------

That night when you received a text from Doyoung, you never bothered to open it, opting to delete it and completely block all communications with him. You need to move on and in order to do it you need to sever all ties that might delude you to come back in his arms again.

You need to escape from Kim Doyoung for it's been due too long.

a/n: Read more of my works for NCT here:masterlist

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justkending · 3 years

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Noisy Neighbors, Drabble Series. (2/2)

Summary: Bucky Barnes is that loud neighbor you want to scream your head off at for throwing all kinds of parties what feels like year round. But in doing so, you somehow got a free coffee date out of it...

Pairing: (college neighbor) Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3000+

A/N: I had a sweet follower @blessedwedgie ask me if I can write a continuation of this drabble I did a while back and at first I was like, “What do I do? Where would I want that to go? How would I continue that in a way that would be cute?” Then I was at work being bored as hell, but had a pen and paper and well... Here we are! I hope I did it justice friend:) This was really fun to write and I want all the cuteness that is College Bucky Barnes in my life honestly!

Here is part one if you haven’t read it yet.

Noisy Neighbors Part 2:

The only reason you really agreed to coffee with the handsome neighbor was because your morning class had been canceled and you didn’t have another until later that afternoon. Of course there was the free coffee too… Ok, maybe his stupid handsome face had something to do with you leaning to say yes.

He was persistent.

So at 9:55 the next morning, you threw on a pair of real pants and a jean jacket over your sweater and ran a hand through your hair as you grabbed your keys by the front door.

“I’ll be back later Wands!” you shouted back down the hallway. No response. She was probably sleeping after pulling an all nighter for a test today. “I’ll be bringing you back some coffee too, I guess,” you laughed to yourself as you went to open the door.

But you were startled to open it and immediately see those familiar piercing blue eyes.

“Jesus-” you jutted as you threw your hand over your chest in surprise.

“Sorry,” he laughed as he took in your reaction. “I literally just stepped in front of your door.”

“You sure you haven’t been waiting out here since last night?” you smirked, stepping out and locking it.

“Now, I did say I was persistent, but I think I deserve a coffee and a little more than small talk before I decide if you’re stalking material,” he shrugged, watching as you turned back to him.

“I like to think I’m stalking material,” you played along, getting a laugh out of him. “Though, doesn’t mean I’d actually liked to be stalked.”

“Ladies and gentleman, she’s got the jokes,” Bucky announced as you walked side by side to leave the apartment building.

“Just to be safe, you’re not some charming Teddy Bundy 2.0, are you? Cause if that’s the case, I don’t think this is going to work out,” you joked, sending him a smile before tucking your hands in your coat about to bare the cold outside.

“So you think I’m charming?” Bucky jeered.

“Don’t get cocky there, Cavanosa. I’m still trying to decide if I’ll ever answer my door again if you knock,” you pointed at him as he opened the door for you.

“I’m wounded, Y/N,” he faked hurt, but inside he was just gitty to know your name now and be able to say it.

“Buy me that coffee, and you’ll have a better chance, soldier.”

_____________

You went to the coffee shop on campus and the little coffee date went surprisingly well. You talked about school, learning Bucky was a forensics major and hoped to go to Quantico at some point. He said he always had a gift and interest in crime scenes and murder mysteries growing up. He liked being able to solve it before the characters on shows did or the narrator gave it away.

To which you countered with, “So you would be a certified stalker with a badge? Interesting…”

That got a big belly laugh out of him which you couldn’t seem to help but join him after hearing such a sweet sound.

You talked about how you’re going into Psychology, and actually were interested in a similar field of forensics. You had always loved the psychoanalyzing of people and situations. So naturally, you were looking into being a Forensic Psychologist.

He asked why he hadn’t had any classes with you yet considering it was both your senior years. Then you explained to him how you had just transferred for this last semester because of better professors and a scholarship opportunity you wanted to take advantage of before graduation.

It turned out that you both were taking one of the same classes, but just had it at different times. Same professor though.

After the obligated ‘college talk’, you both got into; where you grew up, where you plan to go, what are your hobbies, what do you do in your free time if you weren’t studying. Which you had already known Bucky’s was throwing parties that irked you to no end.

“Yeah, I’ll cut back on those. I’ve been getting behind in school and it’s starting to affect my grades,” he pursed his lips in embarrassment. “Dr. Cassel’s class especially. Damn man has a 3 page essay due what feels like every night!”

Dr. Cassel being the professor that you shared.

“Eh, it’s not fun, but if you get ahead a little and do the readings, it’s not that bad,” you shrugged, taking a sip of the hot cup of tea that you told him you preferred instead of coffee on days like this with the weather.

“Easy to say for a nerd who likes to read,” he smirked taking a drink from his own cup as he looked over the brim of it at you.

“Excuse me sir, I thought you were trying to get on my good side here,” you gasped. “Calling me a nerd isn’t going to do that for you.”

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding,” he laughed. “You actually kinda remind me of Steve. He’s a bookworm like you and the goody two shoes who’s always on top of things.”

“He didn’t seem like that at the party the other night,” you tilted your head.

“Oh, yeah. I may or may not have finally had convinced him to join in on the fun. He’s always holed up in his room studying or reading something, which I’m sure you understand,” he winked getting an eye roll from you. “But every once and a while I can get him to cross over to the dark side for a night.”

“School’s important for me. It’s taken a lot to get here and I don’t want to mess it up,” you explained. Your face going a little more serious as if there was more behind that fact than you were letting on. Bucky toned his joking down some at change. “Plus, it’s my senior year. One more semester of this and I’m home free. That is until I start job searching and that’s a whole other step,” you shook your head looking down at your drink.

“Have you ever gone to a party during college?” Bucky asked. “You know, do the whole college experience thing?”

You looked up seeing he was genuinely curious.

“Uh, yeah. I went to one or two with my old boyfriend at the other school I went to. They weren’t more than just a bunch of frat boys and girls getting plastered and making out in random spots around the house, while the rest were listening to loud music and standing elbow to elbow in a crowded rent house off campus.”

“Very specific scenario there,” he chuckled, lightening the mood. “I take it you and your boyfriend aren’t together anymore?” His question did not meet your eye line as he stirred the dash of creamer he had to his drink.

“No, that would mean he would be my current boyfriend, not old,” you laughed. “That and I probably wouldn’t have said yes to coffee if I was dating someone.”

“Right, because this is a date,” he noted as he looked back at you with that cocky grin.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you smirked back.

“You did say it in the text. You said, ‘sounds like a date,’” he pointed out.

“But do all coffee dates mean actual dates or just meeting up to talk over coffee?” you countered.

“Would I get in trouble if I said I’m hoping it’s the first one?” he asked with hopeful eyes.

You paused for a second. God, he was cute. He was charming. But… You came here for your degree and you broke up with your last boyfriend because your schedule is too hectic and you’re trying to focus strictly on school. You didn’t have time for relationships.

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m not really a part of the dating rehealm at the moment,” you said awkwardly. Bucky’s smile dropping some. “My schedule is just too chaotic to add another person to it, and I really need to focus on school.”

You could see disappointment on his face, but he was quick to wipe it off to not cause any more tense energy in the conversation.

“I get it. You have your priorities in check. Can’t blame you for that,” he shrugged with a soft smile. “But now that I know you’re my neighbor, and I really like your whole persona. You won’t be mad if we became friends, would you?”

You giggled at that and his smile widened. “I think I can get on board with that.” His grin grew once again. “Besides, I may need to copy your notes for class, so I guess it’d be useful to get along with you,” you exaggerated as if it was so much to do on your end.

“If anyone’s copying notes here, it’ll be me, doll. I’m the one failing,” he said with a raised eyebrow as he took another sip of his drink,

You two continued talking for a while with another cup of coffee was purchased. Strangely enough the annoying neighbor that you had grown to despise, had surprised you in being a pretty nice guy. It was like you two had been friends since high school with how comfortable and snarky you guys were with the other. And it didn’t hurt to look at him either…

Eventually you headed off to your afternoon class and Bucky headed home being lucky enough not to have any classes all day. He offered to walk you to the class, but with it being as cold as it was, you didn’t want to inconvenience him by walking you there and then all the way back to the apartments. It wasn’t a short walk.

He obliged after much persuasion on your end and you went your separate ways.

As the weeks went on, you started to see more of your neighbors. Steve sat with you in Child Psychology now knowing you a little better, and Bucky somehow always was in the hallway at the same time as you or was bumping into you at the forensics building occasionally.

The neighbors had become friends and Wanda was just happy to not hear you complaining anymore about the two that shared your wall. That and the parties had practically ceased now. Considering what Bucky said about being behind in classes, you suspected he was trying to cut back on his social time.

As the semester went on, Bucky made it a priority to see you at least once a day if he could. Emphasis on the at least…

If that meant knocking on your door to walk to class, he jumped at the opportunity.

“Hey, I’m headed to the library and I know you have that 12 o’clock class in the building over. Wanna just go together?” He grinned.

“Can’t say no to a chauffeur,” you would smile back as you grabbed a beanie and walked out with him.

If it meant somehow almost always making more food than he and Steve could eat, just to come over and offer you some, he would take the option.

“Hey, I made some pasta tonight and had way too much for Steve and I. I thought I would ask if you and Wanda want some before I throw it out,” he smiled widely in your doorway. “What college student in their right mind would say no to a hot meal?” he winked.

“Not a sane one,” you chuckled as you took the platter. “You sure you don’t want them for leftovers?”

“Eh, we never get around to eating them most the time. You guys will enjoy it more than us. Plus, it’s better fresh,” he waved off.

“Ok, if you insist. I guess I’ll have to bake you some of my famous brownies as a thank you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Y/N. I will hold you to it.”

If it meant last minute study sessions for a class he forgot, he texted you a long message begging you to help him out.

“I know you took this class last semester, so you have to know something. And something is more than I know,” he said with a wrinkled nose once he was in your room.

“What part of the unit are you in?” you sighed from your desk as you put your now finished work to the side for him.

“Personality disorders common in serial murders.”

“Oh, that’s the fun stuff. Why wouldn't you want to learn about that?” you gasped, going to sit right next to him on your bed.

But honestly, he wasn’t worried about the chapter. He had actually read it before coming over to surprise you in his knowledge when he acted like he was lost. He just liked when you sat close to him and went on a rant when you came up on something that triggered a murder documentary you watched. That’s how he hooked you into letting him stay longer.

“Wait, so the movie was about a serial killer who ended up having multiple personality disorder? He didn’t know he was doing the killings?” he asked.

“How have you not seen it? It’s a classic!” you questioned in surprise.

“I don’t know… Tell me more about it,” he grinned as you went on.

Oh, and he had seen it. It was a good movie.

If it meant he somehow got ‘locked out of his apartment and couldn’t get in until Steve was home’, he made the excuse to sit outside your door until you were home.

“I left my key inside by accident today. Any chance you’ll let a loner like me hang out with you for a little until blondie gets home?” he batted his eyelashes as he leaned against your door.

“This is the second time this week, Bucky. And the fourth time since last week. Do I need to sew the damn things to you?” you laughed opening your apartment to him.

“I’ll pass on that. I would prefer to just hang out with you instead,” he shrugged, closing the door behind him.

“You sure you left your keys by accident?” you asked with a pointed eyebrow as you took off your jacket.

“Cross my heart,” he said, doing the motion.

“Yeah, sure. Wanna put a pot of coffee on while I change?” you asked, already moving to your room. He had been over enough by now from study sessions and ‘accidental lockouts’ to know how to work your machine.

“Already on it,” he hummed walking to the kitchen. “Want me to make you a cup?”

“Dash of cream and-”

“Two sugars! I know,” he shouted back, smiling as he moved in your kitchen to grab the mugs.

And if it meant never throwing another party again, and instead asking you to come over to his place and watch a movie instead, he moved his schedule around for you.

“Hey, what do you say to a movie date?” he asked as you walked back from class and nudged you with his elbow.

“A movie night sounds nice,” you responded, emphasizing on night instead of date.

“I didn’t say night,” he would point out.

“I know. I figured I would correct you on your slip up. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Words are hard,” you teased, nudging him back.

Though he knew you would never fall for his little tricks, he always implemented date into a lot of his questions about you two hanging out. It had become a little game between you both.

“Study date tonight before Cassel’s test?” He asked as you grabbed your mail together.

“Study session? Yeah, sure,” you corrected.

“Hey, want to come over for a dinner date? Steve and I are making homemade pizza. You and Wanda are welcome!” he offered.

“I’d love to have a pizza party with you guys. I’ll text Wanda and see what her plans are,” you giggled, hip bumping him walking up the stairs.

“Hey, what do you say to an impromptu date to the baseball game tonight? We’re playing against our school's top rival,” He smiled as you both grabbed your coffee from the barista.

“Oh yeah! I heard that was tonight. Eh, how do you feel about a movie night instead?” you shrugged.

“Movie date?” he seconded.

“Yeah, a movie night,” you emphasized.

Conversations like that went on all semester. You were finding that whatever time you weren’t spending in class or at work, it was next to Bucky. The two of you becoming a couple of best friends attached to the hip.

It was nice. You enjoyed it. And though, you knew deep down that he probably meant all those things being a date and hoped for it, you were glad he didn’t press on when you changed the meaning. He understood where you stood and he wasn’t going to pressure you for anything different if you didn’t want to.

And now, it was time for graduation. You, Steve, Wanda, Wanda’s boyfriend Vis, and Bucky all stood in your gowns taking pictures with your temporary degree in hand outside the college stadium. You had all finally finished. With a lot of all nighters, stress relief movie nights, and much needed pizza parties, you had graduated.

You didn’t plan on getting two new really good friends out of it as your mind had always been school, school, school. No time for a social life and distractions.

But boy were you glad you had hit a breaking point the night you banged on their door. If you hadn’t, you would have probably never created the very close relationship with the blue eyed, brown hair, crazy flirtatious, but charming neighbor.

“Hey, since we graduated and we finished the damn thing, how do you feel about a date?” Bucky asked turning to you after Wanda snapped a picture of you both.

“I didn’t hear movie, study, or pizza in front of that word. What kinda date are we talking about?” you asked as he kept his arm wrapped around your waist from the pose you two were in.

“I was thinking of a real date,” he smiled.

His hand on your hip giving a gently, but firm squeeze as his eye practically suffocated you with the ocean tides in them.

“I think I can get behind that,” you grinned up at him, squeezing his shoulder. “A real date it is, Casanova.”

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@morganclaire4 @chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky

#bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes drabble series #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader drabble #bucky barnes college au #bucky barnes college #bucky barnes x reader college drabble #bucky barnes x reader college au #college au #marvel college au #mcu college au #justkending #bucky barnes

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high-warlock-of-brooklyn · 3 years

Text

would things be easier if there was a right way? (honey there is no right way) (Ao3 link)

@thehuntersmoondiscord Masquerade Exchange for @valinphatombeliver (Hope you like it!)

Ships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (Alternate universe: This World Inverted)

Summary: After that fateful party at the Institute, Magnus's magic is not the only thing that comes back. His soulmark feels alive again, and this time, Magnus is not alone.

Alec feels like an idiot, betting his heart like that, especially after the sting of an almost rejected soulmark pains him worse than a broken heart. So he does the only thing he knows the best, he throws himself into work.

Little do they know that the universe doesn't make mistakes, and will keep pulling them together till they both truly see the truth for themselves.

Alec feels sick.

He’s planned exactly one hundred seventy events in his career, big or small. He’s got a stellar reputation, his own party planner business, his schedule is booked for the next five months in advance, and he’s put the full deposit down for his own apartment in the middle of the city, all at the mere age of twenty seven.

And yet, every time, those words are like a punch to the gut he would never admit out loud to anyone. It’s his own fault, he supposes. That he has to hear it so many times in just a week. And that every time, it’s a false alarm.

Well, all but one.

This one seemed different. This one felt different. At least for Alec.

But then, at the end, another one bit the dust.

Isabelle had warned him, when he showed her the words the day after his eleventh birthday. She’d looked so sad when he first told her about the career he’s chosen. Alec never understood why, until he heard those words for the first time at the first ever event he planned, a small, intimate birthday party for a Manhattan socialite.

Check it again, I’m on the list.

It had felt like he’d been electrocuted, and Alec had dashed outside to the door as fast as he could, pulling down a tablecloth with him as he went, the groans and yells of the restaurant staff unheeded by his heart. But it had been the grandfather of the birthday girl, and a voice in Alec’s heart told him to wait a little bit longer for his soulmate.

That voice had died down entirely after his eighteenth event.

Until this evening at the party at the Institute. Until he felt compelled to let that man in. Until Magnus.

And now, standing here, helping his crew clean up after the party, Alec feels his guts twist in a flurry of emotions he is too tired to process.

Fuck this . He’s just put on the most unique and successful party the business world of New York has ever seen. He deserves a break.

Alec grabs a bottle of whiskey on his way out.

-------------------

The first time the words appeared into his hands, Magnus didn’t understand them.

It had been in a strange script, the letters so different from the ones he’d only started to get acquainted with. But by then he’d been part of something stranger, and started to live with a green-skinned man with horns and white hair who called himself a ‘warlock’, and had told Magnus that he was one too. So knowing his soulmate might be from a strange distant land didn’t seem as jarring as it would have been.

Then he’d lived through times that would have seemed as dreams in his childhood. He’d lived through his travels in the wonderful country of Peru, then had fallen in love with Imasu knowing he wasn’t the one, and had gotten his heart broken. Axel hadn’t even given him a chance, and from what Magnus saw peeking out of the cuffs of his shirt, he’d already found his soulmate in the French court.

The words didn’t lose their effect through the centuries however. Every time he heard someone say ‘ what seems to be the problem? ’, Magnus could feel his pulse racing, his heart swelling, his mind going berserk at the possibility of being united with the one he’d been destined to be with.

It wasn’t the case any of the times. Often it was a Shadowhunter, trying to maintain their precious Law so that no so-called troublemaker Downworlders wouldn't disrupt the precious ‘peace’ they insisted on withholding. Sometimes it was a particularly demanding client, and Magnus delayed more just to piss them off.

One time though, it was a Mundane who came to his rescue to smooth things over when the guard at a bar took offense at Magnus’s general existence. Etta had been a beauty both inside and out, and Magnus had been genuinely happy for her when she left once she found her actual soulmate.

It didn’t make him sad to lose her. She was a friend more than anything else, and her story gave him hope to hold on longer.

After that there was Camille. A force to be reckoned with. Camille, with her sharp edges and sharper fangs. Camille, who made him believe in a love through the ages, only to be betrayed brutally. Camille, who he was ready to beg to so she’d come back to him. Camille, who never told him that her soulmate died the day she was turned, which Magnus found out on his own the day after she cheated on him. Magnus had felt hollow, and empty, and felt like a fool for holding on to hope.

The day he finally closed hell off permanently, he’d lost more than just his magic. Magnus had given up on hope entirely.

Then there was that one boy at a party Magnus wasn’t even invited to. Alec had said those words, looking at Magnus with eyes devouring every single aspect of him. Magnus had half expected himself to turn around and leave. But then Alec had surprised him, and made him come inside.

But then there was a demon attacking Clarissa and the blond boy, the first demon in almost a century. And Magnus had almost forgotten about the boy with those hazel eyes by the time he rushed home, magic singeing the inside of his coat pocket.

It must’ve not been meant to be, Magnus thinks as he nurses the same glass of Rosé for almost an hour, the once warm bathwater now running cold. He pauses for a moment, thinking carefully about what he’s about to do.

Magnus waves a finger, the movement graceless, halted. But the sparks come out anyway, the bathwater warming, turning light pink as Magnus focuses on summoning a bath bomb from his collection in the cabinet near the sink.

Magnus smiles. His soulmate doesn’t want to find him. But that’s okay. He’s got his magic.

Everything’s going to be just fine.

--------------

Alec is, most definitely, not doing fine.

“I need this banner yesterday.” Alec rubs his temple letting out a tired sigh, “I literally needed that last night so my team can finish setting up, and now you’re telling me it’s still not ready?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to tell you. Our primary printer caught on fire and we had to unplug all of them to manage the fire before it went out of hand, and all our orders were cancelled from the queue.”

Alec scrubs his face with the back of his hand, and groans, “My assistant put in the request almost two weeks ago. This is for a dinner party at a multinational company, Andrew. And as we both know, the one of the only things those people spend ridiculous amounts of money on is the banner. I can’t throw a party without one.”

“I’m sorry, Mr Lightwood.” Andrew’s smile is genuinely apologetic. “There’s really not much we can do. If it helps, there’s another customer in booth number three whose banner we were printing when it caught on fire, and he’s been on the list for almost over a month.”

“Eesh, poor guy.” Alec winces.

“Tell me about it.” Andrew tsks. “And he’s a really sweet guy too. Some customers throw a hissy fit if we’re ten minutes late in delivering a order they’ve put in maybe an hour ago, and he’s really understanding and patient. But it’s for his psychic shop and he’s checking in maybe the tenth time now. Kaelie was just telling me that we might lose that account for good. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Alec nods, then looks down as his phone pings with notifications from his team about going over swatch cards. “Andrew, is there nothing you can do? Is there no back alley super shady banner maker somewhere?”

“They make something vastly different than banners, Mr Lightwood.” Andrew chuckles good-naturedly, used to the antics of his long time customer. “Well, I could run to the place near 34th and Wilshire. My cousin works as a temp there. The price is way higher, but they can do a quick job.” Andrew taps away on his phone for a second. “Oh good, Artie says they’re open for another five hours at least.”

“Money’s not an issue.” Alec lets out a relieved sigh, and brings out his credit card. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“I know.” Andrew offers him a bright smile. “I’ll inform you as soon as it’s done.”

“Thank you.” Alec nods, before a thought flashes. “Oh, and, Andrew?”

“Yes, anything else, Mr Lightwood?”

“Yeah. I was thinking you could take the other guy’s order there too?” Alec jerks his head in the direction of the other booths in the shop, the silhouette of another customer visible through the blurry divider between the counters.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll ask him.” Andrew gets up to approach the man, but Alec stops him.

“Don’t tell him anything, just put the extra fee on my card.”

“But-”

“It’s okay,” Alec smiles.

Andrew shakes his head, his golden curls shaking with the motion. “You’re a good egg, Mr Lightwood.”

“Just paying it forward.”

---------------

The fire alarm goes off after the second time. Magnus groans as the noise threatens to invoke a migraine. At least he can use his magic to soothe it this time.

The same magic that caused the fire he’s been scrambling to put out for the past thirty seconds. For a small cauldron fire, the sparks are notoriously hard to douse. Being dormant for almost a century, and then suddenly trying to make a magical banner for his kinda-sorta psychic business would do that to a warlock’s magic, he supposes.

Maybe he should consult a spellbook or something. Only there’s no precedent for a banner making spell because graphic designed banners didn’t exist by the time magic was last used.

Well, first time for everything.

The doorbell rings, and Magnus sighs, trying his best to smooth down the no doubt wild hair he’s got from running his hand over and over through it. Pardon him, it’s been a very stressful day.

“Mr Bane? This is Sananda from the Banner Emporium. I have a delivery for you.”

The girl with a neon green streak in her braid hands him a large roll of paper, which Magnus holds up with more than a little difficulty.

“Sign here please.” The girl says, chewing gum disinterestedly. Magnus puts the banner down before taking the signing sheet.

“I thought the shop printer broke.” Magnus returns the sheet. “Did you guys fix it already?”

“No clue, I just work as delivery.” The girl shrugs. “My boss told me to make two deliveries only today, one to you and another to some party planner office. Guess they did some fixing, huh?��

Magnus smiles, tipping the girl a twenty. The girl offers a mock salute, and walks away humming the tune of a pop song. Magnus closes the door behind her, a smile slowly spreading on his face as he uncoils the banner.

Bane: Psychic and tarot card readings

It looks perfect. But Magnus doesn’t get long to marvel at it, because the phone rings. His old landline, which means only one person could be calling.

“Hello Ragnor.” Magnus answers, happy to talk to one of his oldest and closest friends after such a long time.

“Magnus, why didn’t you call me? I had to hear from Catarina that you might have met your soulmate?” Ragnor goes right to the point, tone accusatory.

Magnus takes comfort in the fact that while the whole world might change, Ragnor Fell, ever the a wonderful friend, never will. “I’m not even sure myself, how was I supposed to tell you? I’ve heard a thousand of those Ragnor, you know that better than anyone.”

“Still, Magnus.” Ragnor’s voice comes out tinny, “You don’t have to have the perfect relationship, because there is nothing like that in the world. All we can do is take a leap of faith, and hope that it’s not an abyss. But you have to keep taking that leap.”

“Why are you giving me relationship advice at what is supposed to be early morning at yours?” Magnus asks, eager to change the subject.

“Because I never needed mine, and I’m happy that way, yet I know how much you’ve waited for yours. One of these days, you’re going to have to seize the opportunity no matter what, and take a chance upon love.”

By the time Magnus hangs up, it’s been almost hours. Ragnor’s phones are a rare commodity, the warlock ever so averse of technology, and they do have almost three years worth of conversations to catch up on. Magnus is exhausted, and even though he hates admitting it, Ragnor is right. He could’ve stayed at that party, checked up on Clarissa and her boyfriend, made sure their memories didn’t resurface.

He could have stayed and danced with Alec too.

But he’s been so freaked out, he tells himself. He’s been out of his mind with worry for the demon attack and his magic and different worlds and his probably shoddy memory spellwork.

And maybe he’s also been afraid. Afraid that if he went after Alec, he’d risk everything, his life, his secrets, his meticulously prepared facade that he’s totally fine, especially with the explicit probability that he might not be Alec’s soulmate, even if Alec is his.

Ugh. Magnus scrubs his face with the back of his hand. What a mess this is.

Chairman struts his way into the drawing room, fresh up from a nap, and rubs his face into Magnus’s calf demanding pets. Magnus picks him up, scratching him under his chin. The cat purrs happily, and Magnus makes a decision.

---------------

“One honey macchiato with extra whipped cream please.”

Jace turns to see the man on the other side of the counter, a small frown on his face as he tries to place the face somewhere in his memory. Magnus shuffles from toe to toe, lips pinched together tensely. Jace regards him closely, and doubt rises in the back of Magnus’s mind.

Did he do a sloppy job?

It’s not an exact science, to be frank. Memory magic hardly ever is. It’s not quantifiable like potions, and definitely not by the book like a summoning. Memory magic is, at its root, intuitive. Blindly stumbling about in another person’s mind and hoping as hell that you didn’t erase some developmental memories.

And if anyone knows anything about Magnus, it is that he really isn’t a coffee man. Not anymore anyway. He used to be, once upon a bygone era, when waking up after a night of partying and starting the day with another bout of partying had to be connected with the help of a magically summoned cup of coffee. But those days are far gone, and Magnus mostly prefers his jasmine tea with a touch of honey. Which is why he came to Java Jace to check up on the blond. He’s no more his old self than his magic is controllable.

Still, he’d hoped that it would’ve come back like riding a bicycle.

That hope seems pretty bleak now, as Jace crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at the man in a white cardigan in front of him. “Is this his way of apologizing to me after he criticized my barista skill yesterday?”

“Uh….what?” Magnus asks confusedly.

“I told him that honey macchiato is my least ordered item and literally he’s the only one who orders it and that’s why I have to keep an entire thing on the menu, and get honey from the supermarket too.”

“Sorry, I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Magnus winces.

“Wait, you don’t know the Lightwoods, do you?” Jace nods gravely, “And I just accused a customer for no reason at all, what a dumbass I am.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Magnus waves it off.

“No, no, seriously. Sorry man.” Jace goes to make the drink with a practiced hand. “But I have to say, you seem awfully familiar. Did I see you somewhere before? Maybe in college?”

“Uhh….” Magnus chuckles nervously, panic rising steadily in his heart, “I don’t think so. Unless you went to school in Indonesia.”

“That’s a no. Born in London but grew up here.” Jace nods. “Sorry, I can just really picture you and Clary inside a basement, I was there too.”

“Um-”

“Oh god that sounded so creepy. I swear it wasn’t something weird or anything, I can just remember feeling really scared all of a sudden. Maybe I should stop drinking from my own shop, huh?”

Jace’s casual grin does nothing to soothe Magnus’s nerves, and he smiles along politely, and sends wisps of magic through the minute contact between them as the barista hands over his order. Jace jolts immediately, looks down, curling and uncurling his fingers over and over.

“Everything okay?” Magnus asks tentatively. Jace throws an unsure smile his way.

“Yeah, just, almost burnt my fingers I guess. Hazards of working in the food industry, right?” Magnus doesn’t answer, instead brings out his card to pay, till Jace claps his hands loudly. “I knew it! I knew I remembered you from somewhere.”

Magnus’s heart sinks faster than lead in water, and he racks his brain for any spell that could come in handy for a quick memory erasure. Except it’s been over two centuries, and his memory is definitely not what it used to be when he used magic regularly.

“You’re that psychic right? The one Luke went to? You know, Luke Greymark? He owns a bookshop on the crossing of 22nd and Richardson.”

A breath of relief punches its way out of Magnus, shoulders sagging visibly. “Yes, I remember him. He’s a very good man.”

“He is.” Jace nods. “He’s my girlfriend’s godfather, actually.”

“Oh.” That’s all Magnus says, afraid to shake the still brittle effects of his spell. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome.”

---------------

“Dude, I almost lost a customer because of you today.”

“What?” Alec asks, half of his attention on his phone where his assistant’s been sending him swatches for their latest event. “No no no, pink’s all wrong.” Alec mumbles as he types, “Go for lilac, much more elegant.”

“Here you go, one honey macchiato with chocolate drizzle.” Alec reaches for the cup bindly, but is met with blank space. He looks up finally, only to meet with Jace’s unimpressed glare. “What? I’m arranging a gala for a very, very, very moody client. I mean ‘changes the guest list every three minutes’ kind of moody.”

“Ugh, whatever.” Jace hands him his coffee finally, wincing as Alec takes a sip of the still hot drink. “Seriously, how does that not burn your throat?”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” Alec throws a lewd wink his way, making Jace throw a bunch of stirrers at him. Alec finally puts the phone down after a bout of rigorous texting, and looks up at Jace. “Now, what is this customer you were telling me about?”

“Just some psychic dude, came in and ordered that godforsaken drink you make me make you every morning. I half thought he was joking and you sent him.”

“I didn’t.” Alec shakes his head.

“Yeah, he told me. It’s all cool,” Jace shrugs. “Funny thing too, he seemed really sweet, and with a sweet tooth like yours. You would’ve liked him.”

“Uh huh.” Alec says off-handedly, already busy texting back to his team.

-----------------

The last gala Magnus went to was in 1903.

It’s been a hell of a time. Quite literally too, since a hellmouth opened in the middle of the dance floor. It had taken all the warlocks present to close it, and even then they couldn’t have done it without the Shadowhunters pouring in with weapons drawn.

It had also been the last time Magnus ever used magic in battle.

It seems that way now, bringing out the outfits that found their way in the back of Magnus’s closet, unused and unneeded for decades after decades. Magnus had lost touch with his magic, all warlocks did, but for someone like Magnus, someone breathing and living in magic day after day, needing it like air in his lungs, it had been drastic.

Magnus had cut ties with almost all of his old friends. It hadn’t been intentional, for most of the cases. Just seeing those warlocks ready and accepting eternity without magic made him despair far more than the actual reckoning of it. Catarina still comes around every few weeks, more often if she’s exhausted after an especially gruelling day at the ER. Ragnor still sends letters every few years aside from his phonecalls, his horned friend adamant on keeping the beautiful traditions of penpals alive by his sheer force of will.

But somewhere down the road, Magnus had stopped being the man he once was.

The clothes of an era bygone stare him in the eyes as he brings them out one by one- shirts, pants, breeches, boots, accessories that museums would give a limb and a half for.

The reason for all this, lies heavy at his desk in this other room.

Malcolm Fade was a wild man while he had magic. After losing his soulmate to the whims of the Nephilim, he’d grown almost mad it had seemed, until he lost his magic as well. Magnus had visited him a few times in the past, while everyone was still reeling from the loss of the Shadow World. Malcolm had seemed like his older self, more cheerful, more present in general. Magnus had been glad to see his old friend coming back to himself, and hoped this change will continue to be good for him.

It seems that his love for extravagant parties has not changed however.

The pale lavender envelope was hand delivered almost two days ago, making Magnus lose enough sleep over it already. What does it mean to have been invited to a gala, while his magic is back and in such a precarious way?

Magnus had stayed up staring at the invitation for hours, until he had decided to go at precisely 3:47 am, and to conceal the return of his magic until absolutely necessary.

Malcolm may be a friend, but he's a friend who suffered the loss of a soulmate, who Magnus last remembers having the Black Volume necessary for necromancy, and who isn’t above violence to get his Annabel back, if history is witness.

It’s better to bide his time. Learn to control it better.

And there's still a tiny part of him that thinks this is all temporary, and that this too will pass like a phase of the moon.

Magnus doesn’t pay any attention to that part, instead gathers up some clothes to take to the tailor nearby for a quick fitting.

---------------

“Holy fuck.” Alec gapes at the fabric lying on the fitting table at David’s tailor shop. It’s practically Manhattan’s worst kept secret at this point, that while a big name company may provide you a great designer dress or suit, you always come to David and his wife Genya for fitting. He’s seen them work wonders with his most nitpicky of clients, and for all the business the Lightwood name brings, he practically has an open access to the place.

The fabric’s unlike anything he’s seen before, the threadwork in gold and the artistically arranged deep brown buckles might seem too much, but yet it all ties perfectly together somehow.

“Is it the fabric you’re making my waistcoat in? Please say yes!” Alec tries to make a pleading face, but Genya hits his slouching back with the back of her measurement board.

“Stand still. Or I can’t work on you, and you can go wherever you’re going in this weird bulging state.” If it had been anyone else, Alec would’ve had a comeback, but Genya is a force to be reckoned with, and that eyebrow quirk is sure to leave his gambit backfiring. So Alec keeps his mouth shut, and the ginger hums appreciatively.

“This isn’t ours, sorry Alec.” David answers him with an apologetic smile.

“All good.” Alec offers, standing as still as possible, so as to not anger the seamstress currently working on the seam of his cuffs.

“That’s actually from one of our oldest clients.” Genya says, her voice muffled as she turns to work on Alec’s pants. “He came in and said his great grandfather had this made from us in the early 1900s. Said he’s going to a themed party and needed a refit.”

“Funny, the party I’m arranging is also themed around the early twentieth century.” Alec nods, before rolling his eyes. “Though honestly my client has made it into an hodgepodge if you ask me.”

“I’m sure you’re gonna do a wonderful job either way.” Genya offers, David nodding along with his wife.

They always seem such an odd couple, Genya with her fiery heart and strong smile and eager to talk to everyone, and David with his quiet sketches and always busy doing something . Alec has never seen two people so opposite, yet so in love.

His soulmark itches in the corner of his ribs, and Alec moves involuntarily, making Genya tut loudly. He doesn’t have time to think about wherever his soulmate is, whatever he’s doing.

He can’t.

That’s why he took this gig, after so many of his friends gave up trying to coordinate with Malcolm Fade’s- ahem, eccentric- choices. They all warned him about it, about the insufferability of it all, but he needed something, anything , after that day. Because no matter what he did, those kind brown eyes would come back to haunt him in his sleep, the smile in them so cruel, so mocking.

Genya taps on his shoulder, shattering his thoughts for the time being, and Alec’s grateful for the little intervention before his thoughts could turn dark like they’ve been for a few days now. Alec understands it, has heard of it. It’s the lack of the bond while coming so close to his soulmate. The bond is snapping forward, trying to find its twin, only to meet with emptiness.

Alec wants to rip it out of himself.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Alec. You’re going to be okay.” Genya says, not unkindly. She’s always had the uncanny ability to understand exactly what goes on inside someone’s head, and no matter how much Alec tries, it works on him nonetheless. It used to unnerve him, now it just feels familiar.

“I’m going to be more than okay,” Alec jokes, trying to lighten the mood, “I’m going to be fabulous in this suit. You’ve truly outdone yourself, David.”

The man in question only smiles a little, while Genya looks over her husband proudly, love shining in her blue eyes. Alec looks away from them, the bond screaming all alone in his chest. It’s too painful to look at people so clearly in love.

“When they come back to pick it up, tell them I said they have excellent taste.” Alec spares one last glance at the cloth lying on the table, before walking out to the counter.

---------------------

Magnus is late to his first proper gala in over a century.

It’s really the Chairman's fault, he sighs to himself. If the cat hadn’t decided to be an absolute arse today, he would’ve been out the door to get his waistcoat at least an hour earlier. It’s a miracle he’s not missing the party entirely.

Well, a miracle and maybe a little bit of magic.

Okay, maybe more than a little.

It’s dangerous to try out portalling at such an early stage of his magic’s comeback, Magnus knows. The theory has also been proven multiple times as he stumbled across a petting zoo in France and an abandoned ruins of a church in Rome for the past hour. It took him three tries to finally get the location right. At least, knowing New York traffic, he’s still earlier than it would’ve taken him in a taxi.

Maybe he shouldn’t have uninstalled uber so soon.

The doorman regards him closely, and Magnus feels himself stiffen under the strict scrutiny. He feels like an actor playing pretense, his clothes and makeup all done in the hands of a man he no longer is. But, it’s still fun to see so many familiar faces under the same roof.

Whoever planned this party did a wonderful job of it, Magnus thinks. The chandelier is reflecting all the disco lights currently hanging from the ballroom, a swath of artifacts and activities from several different decades all in the same place, as is Malcolm’s taste, Magnus remembers.

But there’s still order in this chaos, a type of organized mess of a beauty, and Magnus can appreciate it. His thoughts flow, unbridled, as he takes a glass of soda on the rocks from the bartender, about a similar party he went to not too long ago, and how everything changed since then.

His moment of tranquil appreciation is soon interrupted by a pink-skinned phouka slamming into him. Magnus loses balance at the collision, and the world flips the centre of gravity in a blink of an eye, his drink spilling everywhere.

“Shit.” Magnus swears low in his throat.

“Can’ye see w’er y’er goin’?” The phouka yells in a deep accent, startling Magnus.

“I’m sorry.” Magnus apologizes, knowing full well it was not, in fact, his fault. It’s not in his nature to cause conflict. Even if he’s the one drenched in soda.

Even if his magic is crackling at his fingertips for a retaliation.

“What seems to be the problem?”

Magnus feels his magic going into overdrive, his skin feels too tight- too hot- too everything . He’s feeling like he’s seeing the whole party from a different perspective, the colours feel more vibrant, the chandelier a little sparklier, the sweet stench of the spilled drink a little stronger.

He feels drunk without having a single sip of anything.

“This nothin’ nobody’s tryna ge’ in the par’y for a quick sip, I reckon. I doubt he’s even in the list Mr Fade gave’em.” The phouka gives him a dirty glance. Magnus considers baring his eyes- his true eyes- for him to see exactly who this ‘nothing nobody’ is.

He decides against it at the last moment, instead pulls himself to his full height, towering over the barely four feet tall fae. Magnus juts his chin out the way he’s seen his best friend do every time he asks Raphael for a movie night, puts his mask away, and buttons the open jacket, regardless of its now drenched state. “My name is Magnus Bane. Check your damn list again.”

“Magnus.”

----------------

Alec feels like he’s dreaming.

This party is a dream in itself, the setting is done deliberately to emulate a sort of dream like chaos. He’s chosen his own outfit accordingly, a white a black ensemble, with an elaborate angel mask that covers his cheekbones in what looks like wings.

He looks divine and he knows it.

He was ready to be a professional tonight, making sure everything goes off without a hitch, half because Mr Fade is late to his own party, and half because he had to be, because staying cooped up in his apartment with netflix and pizza sounds a lot less appealing than whatever happens here.

Even though his mind is swimming with pain from the almost rejected bond.

Even though the pain of it seems imprinted on his very soul.

But then there’s a disturbance, one of Malcolm’s tiny bouncers yelling at a man who smells like the kind of expensive soda Isabelle likes. A man wearing the same jacket Alec saw on David’s table only a few hours ago.

Alec had been delighted, ready to make conversation with the man wearing the jacket he’s been so fond of- the same man in that simple yet elegant black and white handheld domino mask, until he’d noticed his eyes.

Until he’d said those words.

Alec feels the floor tilt from under him, every inch of his body screaming to go up to him, to introduce himself, to dance with him until they can’t anymore. It seems like a different sort of madness, and Alec’s not sure he’s objecting.

“Magnus?” He asks, hope blossoming like ivy under his skin.

“Alec.”

His name on those lips is what leaves Alec undone. All his professionalism, all his suaveness, everything Alec Lightwood ever is or ever will be, concentrated on those two syllables from the man Alec has waited a long- maybe too long- to meet.

Alec starts forward, a step taken almost unconsciously, his words warm against his ribs. Magnus has put his mask down minutes ago, and as he looks at his face, Alec feels like he’s falling into a never ending tunnel of love.

Those simple strokes of metallic eyeliner, like starlight bathed in gold. And in between them, the kindest, most beautiful eyes he has ever seen.

“Magnus.” Alec chokes out again, unable to say anything else. Magnus stretches a hand out for him to hold, and Alec takes it like a drowning man being offered a raft.

It takes him a moment to realize that the words have stopped hurting, as if a simple touch from Magnus have doused the burning flame into cool waves of calm.

---------------

Magnus takes a leap of faith.

Alec’s voice feels choked, like it hurts him to breathe anymore, and Magnus feels his whole life flash in front of him, all eight hundred years of it. It’s been too long, far too long, since he’s taken a chance on love. He’s gone cozy in his little comfort zone, happy to stay unrejected.

But he doesn’t want to do that anymore. So he offers a hand, a simple gesture masking a thousand words.

I’m sorry it took me so long.

I’m sorry I ran away.

I’m sorry I didn’t look for you.

I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere else.

Alec catches his hand, holding him close like the only hope in his whole world, and Magnus feels like he’s weightless, floating on clouds.

“Dance with me?” Alec asks, the question more of a request than anything else.

Magnus doesn’t find it in himself to say no, and quite frankly, he doesn’t want to either. So he smiles, eyes crinkling with hope and happiness and possibility. “I thought you’d never ask.”

------------

The fast pop music changes into a slow waltz as the two of them go down to the dancefloor, a round ballroom stretching almost fifty meters every which way. Alec pulls Magnus right underneath the enormous chandelier, the reflected golden light painting them both in halos. They sway together, happy to just be close for the moment, and Alec is grateful. He doesn’t have it in him to talk right now, not when everything feels too perfect and too much like everything he’s ever wanted.

Finally, the music ends, and Magnus looks at him for a long moment right in the middle of the dance floor. Alec feels uncharacteristically nervous, everything he is laid bare in front of his soulmate. But he doesn’t shy away, instead he meets his gaze head on, before Magnus grabs his hand. Alec lets himself be led out of the ballroom, away from the crowd, finally stopping at the adjoined balcony, away from prying eyes.

“I’m sorry about the other day.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

Both men speak at the same time, before pausing to comprehend what just happened. A small smile graces Magnus’s face, and Alec wants to live in it, revel in it, spend his forever in it.

“I’ll go first,” Magnus says, “I’m sorry I walked out on you abruptly that day. There was an emergency and I had to leave.”

“Emergency?” Alec asks, concerned, “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course. Everything is fine.” Magnus assures him. “Just- I told myself I left for that reason only, but the truth is, I was scared. I’ve heard those words a million times before, and every time they scarred me like a blade. I was so scared- scared of everything that I would be taking a chance on- afraid what I would be risking. I’m sorry. Really really sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Alec stops Magnus, clasping both his hands with his own, “I could have looked for you, tried to understand why you left, why you didn’t talk to me. I’ve heard my words too, over and over and over again. Until they hurt like a million paper cuts at the same time. And- and after you, I was so caught up in my own hurt, I didn’t stop to think there could be a second explanation.”

“I’m so sorry.” Magnus lowers his eyes, guilt overflowing his heart.

“Don’t be. Please don’t be.” Alec brings up Magnus’s hands, kissing them both, “You came back to me, that’s all that matters. I’m so so so happy to see you again.”

“This whole time I’ve been running up and down the whole city, trying to forget you somehow , but it’s like the more I tried to forget everything, the more the world just pulled me towards you.” Alec lets out a surprised chuckle. “I tried to plan a corporate party, but the banner place fucked up, and I had to get it done from somewhere else, and they told me about this other guy who’d been the same kind of bindup like me, and that he’s sweet and polite and that he’s been trying to get his banner for weeks, and all I could picture was you, and I just- I just couldn’t not help him.”

Magnus feels recognition hit him full force. “You’re the one who told Andrew to get my banner done in time?”

Alec stares at him for a full minute before speaking. “Oh god. Please don’t tell me it was you who went to Jace’s to get the same order as me.”

“You know Jace?”

“Our parents are high school friends, we practically grew up together.” Alec explains. “Honey macchiato?”

“Honey macchiato.” Magnus smiles, the two sharing a secret between just them under the night sky while the party rages on inside.

“And you were at David and Genya’s,” Alec says half to himself, before smiling mirthfully, “I told them to tell the owner of the jacket that they have great taste.”

“And?” Magnus goads him on.

“And I’ve decided that the owner has amazing taste, especially in soulmates.” Alec winks. “Though their taste is not enough to rival my own, because my soulmate is better, prettier, more amazing, than everyone else in the world. Brighter than all the stars in the sky.”

Magnus sputters for a second at the compliment, splotchy blush blooming on his golden cheeks as he ducks his head. Alec can’t stop grinning.

“Can we get out of here?” Magnus says in a stroke of sudden confidence, the surety in his voice evaporating as soon as the words leave his lips.

Alec makes an exaggerated gesture of being surprised, and Magnus can’t be annoyed with him even if he wanted to. “Mr Bane. Oh my. So forward.”

“You don’t have to.” Magnus adds quickly. “I get it, this is your event, and we can leave once it’s over. It’s okay.”

“I didn’t say that, Magnus.” Alec practically bounces the way to the reception, and signs off on a few papers, before explaining some things to his assistants. All the while holding Magnus’s hand in his own, like it’s his second nature by now.

Magnus feels like he’s walking on sunshine.

-------------------

Later, Magnus and Alec stumble into his shop-in-apartment in Brooklyn, tangled together with limbs and mouths and hearts and bonds, losing touch with the reality of where one begins and another ends, words of love and promises whispered into every kiss.

I love you.

I’m not going to leave.

We’re together.

Everything’s going to be alright.

----------------

#alec lightwood #magnus bane #hmdiscord #malec #malec fanfic #jay.fic #mine #writing #my writing #this world inverted #twi!alec #twi!magnus #alternate alec #alternate magnus

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nxrthmizu · 3 years

Text

disappearing trick — SaguKai

━━━━━━━

fandom | magic kaito

pairing | kuroba kaito x hakuba saguru

genre | angst to fluff :3

w.c | 2.1k

━━━━━━━

It was a heist went wrong.

So, so wrong.

There were explosions and gunshots, all of which Hakuba was about 99.99% sure wasn’t in KID’s itinerary of the night. He remembered catching a glimpse of a torn white cape, the grimace of pain clear as day despite the lack of helicopters overhead, and men dressed in black.

“KID—!” Hakuba had yelled, which, looking back, was not the smartest thing he could’ve done. The barrels of two guns instantaneously locked on him, much to the phantom thief’s horror.

It seemed like it was the end for Hakuba Saguru.

But of course, KID always loved to meddle in things that didn’t involve him. And so he did what he always did best.

KID was a performer, after all. He specialised in attracting his audience’s attention to him. Flashing a cocky smirk towards Hakuba’s direction, even though there was a stream of blood trickling down his cheek, the phantom thief disappeared into the night with a loud bang, taking the two men with him.

Kuroba Kaito was ‘kidnapped’ the same night.

According to Aoko, who had been in the Nakamouri house when the teen was attacked, there had been a loud crash, gunshots, and yelling. The girl had hid under the kitchen counter in fright, hoping and praying with all her heart that Kaito hadn’t been home at the time of the break-in.

As it turned out, he was.

The crime scene investigators turned Kuroba’s house upside down, finding multiple signs that the teen boy had been shot, if the splatters of blood (That all had Kaito’s DNA) was any indication. It was also concluded by the investigators that Kaito put up a hell of a fight, as there were signs of his magic tricks all through the house.

Hakuba was still being treated for shock at the heist location when Detective Nakamouri received a call from his devastated, hysterical daughter, who sobbed so loudly through the phone that the blonde detective overheard.

It was only one disaster after another.

For once, Hakuba chose to stay out of the crime scene, instead stroking Aoko’s back as comfortingly as he could, trying not to think about Kaito’s body, abandoned in some dark alley dumpster. His coat was soaked through with splotches of her tears, but he didn’t care much, because he himself felt like crying, too.

━━━━━━━

School the next day was eerily quiet. Practically everyone had heard of Kaito’s kidnapping, and if they didn’t, Aoko’s swollen eyes were a dead giveaway that something had happened to the playful teen. The teacher kept glancing up, as if she was waiting for an interruption, only to flick her eyes onto the empty seat at the corner of the classroom. The topic lingered like a dark cloud above the classroom, and no one dared to even mention the name ‘Kaito’ when Aoko was within hearing distance.

“He’s alive.”

Hakuba glanced up after a few moments of silence, realising that Akako was talking to him. “What?”

“Kuroba.” Akako continued impatiently. “He’s alive.”

The blonde detective couldn’t help but snort. “And how did you come to that conclusion? Did your crystal ball tell you that?”

Judging by the glare the female shot in his direction, she didn’t appreciate his snark, but Hakuba just couldn’t be bothered at the moment. “He won’t go down this easily.” Akako stated, as if she’d seen Kaito alive with her own two eyes. Granted, the image hadn’t exactly been clear when she used her seer powers on him, but she could go as far as saying that the magician was still breathing.

“Look. He was shot.” Hakuba interrupted emotionlessly. “Even if the gunshot wasn’t fatal, he’s lost a lot of blood.”

“He won’t go out that easily. You’ll see.”

━━━━━━━

Kuroba Kaito was pronounced dead after three months. KID went back into retirement— At least, that’s what the KID division announced after no sight of any heist in the horizon.

After a long consideration, Hakuba decided to leave Japan behind— Along with the memories of KID and Kaito— And return to Britain. Some would call him cowardly, and he would admit, yes, it was cowardly of him to run away like that, but as far as he was concerned, he didn’t care what others thought of him.

Sure, Aoko was a little upset, but Akako had reassured her that she wasn’t going anywhere. He did feel a little bad for leaving Nakamouri behind— All her friends were disappearing, one by one, after all—

Disappearing.

That was KID’s— Kaito’s last trick, Hakuba thought tearily, hastily ushering the tears away as he packed the last of his clothes into the luggage bag. A disappearing trick gone wrong— And the phantom thief KID, Kuroba Kaito— Two sides of the same coin— Dropped off the surface of the planet, never to be heard from again.

But there was no point in crying over spilled milk anymore.

“Saguru-kun, there’s a man looking for you outside.” His housekeeper knocked on the door, informing him monotonously. “He said he has a few things to tell you before you leave Japan.”

A quick peer out of the window gave him a glimpse of dark brown hair— A familiar stature and height, a relaxed pose—

Hakuba had never dashed out of his room that fast in his entire life. All composure and calamity was forgotten as he practically barrelled down the stairs, narrowly missing a few boxes of belongings he had wrapped up the days prior. The door burst open with a tremendous bang! as Hakuba hurried down the front steps of his house, hoping, praying, pleading that the face that he would meet belonged to—

“Kudou-kun?” The tone of disappointment couldn’t be avoided as Hakuba remembered just how alike the detective and the magician looked. If he was asked, the two were definitely genetically related at some degree or another. “How may I help you today?” His tone was terribly strained; he had had expectations, and he had been let down.

Kudou Shinichi, as the great detective that rivalled many others, took quick note of Hakuba’s inner turmoil. “Hakuba-kun. I have news that you might want to... Think about before you leave Japan.”

“Go on.” Hakuba said bitterly. Nothing could stop him from leaving Japan, he thought. Not when every corner reminded him of the man that kept him on his feet.

“Kuroba Kaito is very much alive.” Kudou said casually, with no prior preparation or whatsoever. Hakuba looked as if he was just hit by a freight train, stunned and dazed by the words that destroyed everything he knew about life. “He’s been staying undercover to help the FBI take down the Black Organisation, who, as if seems, was after Pandora as well. Because he’s been missing for three months, its’ going to be very hard for him to explain his absence— So he has requested for me to pass you this letter in his stead.”

The thoughts running through Saguru’s head as the slim letter was received into his head were wild. Kaito was alive? He was involved with the FBI? What was the Black Organisation— And forget the Black Organisation, what the hell was Pandora? And why couldn’t Kaito have passed him the letter himself?

“Well, I’m going to get going.” Kudou smiled gently. “See you around, Hakuba-kun.”

━━━━━━━

It seems like your detective skills have mellowed since my absence, Hakubastard. Your observational ability is... Mediocre, to say the least. Anyway, I suppose I should provide you with an explanation (Although I would love to go world-hopping and leave you in pursuit of the truth for the rest of your life), but I guess I owe you this much after just upping and leaving like that. Those gun wounds hurt like hell, but they weren’t going to nuff this magician up that easily. I still had a couple tricks up my sleeve— It was nice seeing you all worried about me, though! So you do care~

Anyway, its still not too safe for me to appear publicly in Japan. I’ve sent a letter to Aoko, so don’t worry about filling her in. I left the meeting location in your bedroom. Exactly a month from now. Better set a reminder on that pocket watch of yours, tantei.

With love malice,

Kuroba Kaito

“My bedroom...?” Hakuba murmured to himself, realisation striking like a flash of lightning. A quick inspection of his room turned out with a slip of yellow paper: Rivals shall meet once more, in the romantic city people adore; When the clock strikes a quarter and by the Seine shop corner.

Saguru rushed over to his bedroom window, eyes flicking up and down the nearby streets to find Kudou Shinichi’s silhouette, but he came up empty handed— For that wasn’t Kudou Shinichi at all... Because who else would break into his bedroom just to leave a riddle?

It didn’t take long for Hakuba to figure out the time, date, and location— Kudou— No, Kaito had said so himself. Exactly a month from then— In the ‘romantic city people adore’— Which would be Paris— ‘clock strikes a quarter’— At a quarter of a day, which would be 6am— And by the ‘Seine shop corner’— So at a coffee shop next to River Seine.

“Baa-san!” Saguru called out into the manor, a smile on his face. “Cancel my flight ticket and book one to Paris instead.”

━━━━━━━

Paris at 6am was quite the pretty sight. The sun was barely rising over the horizon, little splays of light shimmying over the river surface, bathing Paris in a fine, gold threads of sunshine. Not that many cafes were open at the crack of dawn, which made it even easier for Saguru to track down his cafe.

The little coffee shop by the Seine provided an amazing view as Saguru enjoyed his morning coffee. He had taken a seat outside the cafe, the streets silent in a peaceful, docile manner, early birds already leaving their nests for the worms that were promised.

The latte in his hands felt warm, inducing heat into his frozen fingers. Hakuba had never felt that on edge in his entire life— Would Kaito show up?

“Lovely morning, no?” An old man commented, plopping into the seat opposite Saguru. “I love watching the sunrise from here.”

Hakuba raised an eyebrow, looking for details of a disguise. The fat seemed genuine— The voice was deep and velvety, a little rough and raspy around the edges— The wrinkles around the eyes looked authentic— But he had seen the quality of KID’s work, and he wasn’t taking his chances.

“Indeed,” Saguru agreed with a pleasant hum, French rolling off his tongue smoothly. “Say, mister, what do you think about magic tricks?”

“Ah, I think they’re quite quaint.” The old man replied in his deep voice, eyes forming crescent lines as he smiled. “What do you think of them, young man?”

Saguru placed his latte back onto the cup. “I think magic tricks are nice,” He started softly, making firm eye contact with the old man, French rolling off his tongue smoothly. “But I hate disappearing tricks the most.”

“Oh?” The old man was confused, clearly missing the memo. “Why so—?”

“Good morning, sir, can I take your order?” A voice pricked into Hakuba’s memory, triggering some sort of mechanism. It was the same tone, frequency, wavelength— The only thing different was the dialect and accent.

Saguru looked up right into Kaito’s violet eyes, the latter dressed in a waiter’s uniform. A soft smile spread over the magician’s lips as he winked, Hakuba’s jaw dropping as his gaze returned to the man in front of him.

“Ah, a cappuccino please. And one slice of carrot cake.”

“Of course.” Kaito nodded pleasantly. “Right away, sir. And you?”

Hakuba took longer to find his voice than he would’ve liked. “Just a cup of black coffee, please.”

“Is that all?” Kaito hummed, scribbling down the orders on a piece of paper.

“Yes, thank you.”

Hakuba laid back against the chair, a sigh slipping from his lips as he smiled continuing his conversation with the old man, who was still very much confused.

“Ah, but I find disappearing tricks interesting,” The old man commented, chuckling slightly. “It’s always so magical when the reappearance happens, no?”

The blonde detective hummed, watching the dark-haired magician busy himself inside the shop. “I suppose I’ll have to agree with that.”

━━━━━━━

this thing has been sitting in my drafts for four months and its time for it to see the light of day~

#magic kaito #kuroba kaito #kaitou KID #kaitou 1412 #hakuba suguru #kuroba kaito x hakuba saguru #sagukai #fluff #angst #magic kaito angst #magic kaito fluff #[ris writes]—✧

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disenchantedfaerie · 4 years

Text

So many things to say and so many things not to say.

Fandom: This fandom is toxic. There is no other way to put it. It’s toxic from top to bottom, left to right, diagonally. My partners and I discussed this today because we were bored. We whole heartedly believe it starts at the top and by top I mean her majesty of the written word. Of course, now that’s she’s dropped the self diagnosis of “somewhat autistic,” you really can’t say anything because then you’re a horrible person. But she uses that as an excuse for her snark and condescending attitude. Hey. Whatever lady. I don’t follow you, I don’t read your books and aside from the few things I see, you’re no better than the leads. The difference is you’ve been milking the fandom for 30 years; people are waiting for you to finish and you can’t even complete the one that was supposed to be done last year. Yet you continue to yak about this side thing or that side thing and really, I don’t need a JF origin story. We’ve gotten that enough in the 9 other flipping books. You see the pattern here tho folks?

The female lead: She has done her share of being flippant and rude to people on her SM. She becomes sweet as pecan pie on Thanksgiving when she wants to want to launch something though. She was the one who wanted to end the shipper rumors and so IFH happened but sadly when you skirt around a subject and don’t say your partner’s name or take photos of them/with them and only take photos with your male lead in what could be construed as compromising positions - yeah. People will continue to buy what you sell to them. I’ve said it time and again, they are the biggest trolls in the fandom and do more to fuel the ship, even now that she is married to another man who is not the male lead, than anyone else. That’s all I have to say about her. She doesn’t owe anyone anything, none of them do actually, but sometimes being kind goes out the window with the lot of them.

His highness: Where to begin? His “fans” come all the way over here to our little corner of tumblr to hide behind Anon Asks to spew their hate and vitriol to those of us who seem to have opinions that differ from theirs. Namely, he is not a god. He is not someone we worship. We simply come together over coffee and tea and trade stories of current events and talk about the what if’s. My opinion of him is based on his own actions. Maybe all these “fans” want to blur the timeline of events and take it as gospel from his highness that he went on his luxury vacation before the travel ban while the rest of us cancelled ours and many lost jobs and incomes. Well that’s simply untrue. When he was called out, knowing he was wrong, instead of being the sweet, humble, normal guy that everyone says he is, he doubled down, became rude, flippant, went on a blocking spree, posting articles about COVID being no worse than the flu. Did his traveling companion get serious threats. I believe so. I believe he has as well from the same kind of people that come here to our little corner of tumblr, keyboard warriors that hide behind their anonymity and spew hate and vitriol. I also believe that people have gone to Glasgow and stalked his flat, which, come on people. That’s wrong on so many levels. I lived in LA for many years. It never occurred to me to drive to Malibu, Hollywood Hills, Laurel Canyon to actually stalk the celebs. Why? What’s the point? So I can see them in their grungy clothes looking like real people? No thanks. I don’t have that kind of time or energy. Thus the 4 page rant. Hey good for you dude. It’s about time you grew a pair actually but what did it accomplish? Nothing really except people stopped talking about his covidiocy. Why? Not because he wasn’t a covidiot and quite frankly still is (remember, he’s the king of “it’s not worse than the flu”) but because he pulled the mental health card. I think he does have mental health issues. I still have high hopes that some day he will realize this himself and seek the help he needs.

Now these Anons come to our little corner of tumblr and drop their comments saying things like “I hope you get COVID and die. It’s because of you he did his 4 page rant. The people you call mommies are his real fans.” Mmmkay. I used to blindly defend him. I used to buy into his shilling and his ever so sweet exterior, I even bought into the “best fans ever” bullshit. You want to blame us who never name him, her or the one who “writes” in any blog, never hashtag him, her, or the other one or the show, never interact with any of them on other platforms of SM for his 4 page rant, his mental illness, all of his flaws and accuse us of not being fans - fine. He who is without sin, cast the first stone. Perhaps you need to sit back and take a long look at yourself in the mirror as well. Wishing a deadly disease on people, making threats, spewing hatred - isn’t this the exact same thing that was done to his highness and you were all up in arms about it, yet you come here and do it to others and think that’s okay. What makes it okay? Because you’re defending your favorite star? If this is what it means to part of this fandom, part of his fandom specifically, no thank you. When y’all can walk on water, then you can judge me. Until then, judge not lest ye be judged.

I walked away long ago but I’m still human and still have an opinion, everyone does. If he’s your favorite celeb then perhaps you should follow his advice the next time you see something you don’t agree with - suggest you ignore. He’s the one that started the entire “be kind” campaign right? Or does that only apply when it’s comvenient? If you think this is the sort of behavior that will get you on his Christmas card list or the top of his potential list of never ending “girlfriends” - well, good luck. At some point this man (again, he’s a man, he’s flawed, he makes mistakes and he’s not perfect) will fall from the pedestal his fandom have put him on and then where will you all be? He has been unapologetic for all the things he’s done. He continues to shill his swill and all his other crap when a lot people can’t make ends meet. He continues to ask for donations to HIS causes instead of asking people to take care of themselves or their own communities. I love Scotland as much as anyone but my money right now is better served in my community. I ignore most of what they all do, following his own suggestion of ignoring, but things cross my dash and I do not condone or appreciate threats. I didn’t condone it when the threats were directed at him, his traveling companion, or anyone else nor have I ever made a threat against anyone.

I wish to be treated the way I treat others and if you can’t do the same, if you can’t engage with me in a calm, adult manner, I don’t have time for you. You can have a differing opinion than me. It’s okay. We don’t have to agree but we can respectfully disagree and discuss, not argue, about who’s right and who’s wrong. It isn’t cut and dry, black and white. We can agree to disagree and still be civil and still be friends.

My Scotsman added this: When will the games end, when will the games stop? I had high hopes for his highness to lead by example and be better but he’s a follower and he followers her majesty’s lead. He follows his business partner’s lead. He sees her milk the fandom, so why can’t he and he does an excellent job of it. His fandom vote for meaningless awards until their fingers bleed, buy all of his merchandise, buy anything he sells up to and including the ship. Is there an ounce of him being a genuine person left? Yes. He gives us a glimpse now and again but make no mistake, he will take you for what you’re worth. Maybe one day he’ll change and we’ll follow him again. Until then, I’ll be watching like my partner. I’ll be around.

I guess at the end of the day my point is this, the fandom made itself toxic and I highly doubt at this point it can or will turn around. Why would it? All we can do is choose to be part of the toxicity and contribute to it and pass it forward like these precious anons have been doing or we can choose to walk away, scroll on by, try to make the world or at least our little corner of it better.

I’m still disenchanted. I hope one day my wings turn white again with the promise of a better time and place. Until then, take care my friends. I’ll be watching and I’ll be blogging.

#my opinion #my rants #my thoughts #if you cant be nice scroll on by #be kind #suggest you ignore #too long dont read

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deathvsthemaiden · 3 years

Note

Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

#asks #long post #I had to invent so many new categories for this.... necessity rlly is the cruel stepmother of invention after all #waver is a cactus but I am no desert rose... I need more I hunger for more

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musette22 · 4 years

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Hi Minnie! First of all, thank you for being so sweet, reasonable and respectful, I can't even describe how much joy your blog gives me! You are a true pro in emotional support for Evanstan fandom, so I guess I kinda need some reassurance. [1]

The thing is, as you probably know, some Seb stans on Twitter take the whole Chris insta situation and turn it into smth embarassing, like making fun of Seb and Mackie ignoring Chris and calling the idea of the challenge stupid (even though Chris did donate, not just "asked fans for money", as they say). It's like they feel the need to attack the first before smb calls they fav out. [2]

I know there ARE good people in Seb fandom, it's just that the aggressive ones are so loud and spread their bs so fast, I end up seeing it on my TL. No matter how stupid it sounds, it keeps making me sad to see so much hate towards Chris and his fans not from some random locals but from Seb stans. It's like two halves of my heart are torn apart. Not even ship-wise, it just seems so hard to love them both and be present on twitter these days. [3]

And, since I'm whiney af today, one more twitter thing: the CW promo era was some kind of honeymoon for us, sure, but I've recently seen some opinions on how Chris was all lovey-dovey and Seb was stiff and bored and uncomfortable, how their interviews were unnatural and boring. I mean, in my part of fandom (non-English speaking country) there has always been a popular perception of boys' dynamic as these "over-excited puppy playing around a confused cat" vids, if you know what I mean. [4]

But it kinda seemed ok for me, and the way they acted a little awkward around each other etc. Well, you can tell I'm easily affected cause now it does feel more negative to me. Stuuupid, I know. Maybe it's my "let's feel sorry for Chris and his fans" phase, idk. Sorry for bringing it here, you just seem to reassure people so well. [5 and last, it was long lol]

Hello my lovely!! This was indeed long hahaha but that’s totally fine, I myself am also someone who also has trouble keeping things short to I feel you 😘

This is a very long reply so I’m putting it under the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

Okay so first of all, let me say I was never a fan of Twitter, but everything I’ve heard lately has just lowered my opinion of it even further. I know there’s a lot of amazing stuff and brilliant folks on there as well, but it also seems to be where all the bitchy, hateful, entitled and inappropriate people congregate. So personally, I’m very happy with my little community on Tumblr when it comes to fandom, and for news and social media I prefer actual news outlets and instagram. The sad truth is that there are a lot of harmful and hateful opinions in the world, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I try to find ways to avoid a lot of it. Especially the stuff I can’t do anything about (you can try to reason with most haters until you’re blue in the face, and 90% of the time it’s not going to make an ounce of difference). It’s much easier to curate your own experiences on platforms like Tumblr and even Instagram than it is on Twitter, or so I’ve gathered. So I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of helpful advice for you there apart from ‘maybe try and stay away from Twitter if you can’ which you probably don’t really want either...

As for the whole Seb vs Chris issue: it’s clearly completely ridiculous. There is no ground whatsoever to believe they’re at odds. At worst, they’re now just casual work friends, but there is no reason to believe there’s any bad blood. It’s interesting to consider that initially, the argument seemed to be they had fallen out and both disliked each other (no idea where that came from but sure), then it was that Chris didn’t like Sebastian (because he allegedly shaded him when he joked that Scarjo was the only one of his friends who came to see Lobby Hero), and then Chris got Instagram and tagged and followed Seb, but because Seb hasn’t responded to the challenge yet, he now apparently hates Chris. For what reason, god only knows, because only last year at MCM London (where I was present myself) Sebastian gushed about Chris and his experiences with him while filming the Cap movies, and lets not forget it was him who initiated the hug at the Endgame premiere. Long story short: they don’t dislike each other. They’re completely fine, people just like to make up drama for whatever reason.

As for the Sebastian stans who hate Chris and vice vera: to be honest, I wasn’t even really aware it was an issue until recently, because I was under the naive impression that it was kind of impossible to love one but hate the other. Both of them are such amiable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, talented guys, and everyone who actually knows them adores them, so why on earth anyone could hate either of them is beyond me. But even if you do, I genuinely don’t understand this need to pit them against each other? Why? I think a lot of it is down to people just liking drama, or being actual 12 year-olds who still see the world in a kind of high school dynamic-way. I’m not saying Chris and Sebastian have never done anything wrong, but in my opinion, none of it warrants outright hate or being cancelled over. It’s such an immature and unreasonable take. I’m just sorry for the people who can’t love both of them, because man, are they missing out! I understand that it’s painful for you to see all those opinions when you love both of them so much, but that’s why I try to just avoid them. I know they exist, but not seeing them makes dealing with it a whole lot easier, I promise! ❤️

With regard to the challenge itself: if the celebrities who are taking part in it are not donating themselves, then yeah, that would be problematic. However, we know that Chris donates to a ton of different charities, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s donated to this cause as well. Asking people to buy tickets to try and win this “prize” is not in itself an issue, if you ask me. People can think for themselves, can’t they? If they think it’s worth it, they think it’s worth it. They’re not being forced to part with their money, and moreover said money is being used to help people in need. Of course fake and problematic charities exist, but there are still good ones out there as well, so let’s assume for the moment this one is actually doing all of this from a genuine desire to help people and it’s not some money grabbing scheme.

Furthermore, as I’ve said so many times before, I really don’t believe Sebastian and Mackie are “ignoring” Chris. If they’re choosing not to do the challenge (they still might do it at some point) then I’m sure they have a good reason for that and it isn’t that they’re holding a grudge and are thinking “screw this charity and that Chris Evans, I’m going to ghost him to get my revenge!” I mean, do these people even realize how ridiculous that sounds 🙄 I also believe they would have let Chris know about their decision privately. They do have each other’s phone numbers, you know...

And lastly, about the CW press tour... I don’t know what footage these people have been watching to come to such conclusions, or what’s wrong with their eyes and ears, but that makes NO sense to me. I’ll tell you what; it was mostly the footage from the CW press tour that got me convinced there was something going in between the two of them! Both Chris and Sebastian acted in a way that screamed “smitten kittens” to me, and if there was ever any “stiffness” from Sebastian’s side, then that was no doubt just his slightly more reserved personality compared to Chris and Mackie’s. Chris and Sebastian’s videos together give me LIFE, so for anyone to call them boring is actually kind of insulting lol. To me, almost every interaction Chris and Seb had during that press tour showed that they were either low-key (in a friendship way) or high-key (in a romantic way) crushing on each other, and they clearly admire each other very much. Any awkwardness I’ve ever seen between them for me seemed to stem from that crush (is anyone not at least a little awkward around their crush sometimes?) and not from any dislike from either side. That’s actually such a ridiculous idea to me that it doesn’t even make me worried, it just makes me laugh. Some people really don’t have eyes, it seems.

Anyway, that was a reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyy long reply lmao, I’m sorry! I hope this helps a little though, because I do know how shitty it is to feel like you do about things that are supposed to make you happy!! Tuning out the haters and focusing on people who feel the same way you do in my experience is the best way to get to feeling good again 🥰 Big hug, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!

#evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #Anonymous

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kinsbin · 4 years

Text

My Life With You

Title: My Life With You Word Count: 4500 Pairing: Star/Kray [si/canon]

Summary: Kray and Star have been dating for a very long time. Kray decides its finally time to take the next step in their relationship, and plans the perfect day to do it.

A/N: Commission for @starscloset! i super duper loved writing this for her and I hope ya’ll enjoy this cute couple *w*

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Star bit her lip as she watched the clock that hung on the edge of her desk, eyes staring into the numbers that ticked by all too slow to be considered a second or a minute in her mind. Her foot tapped on the tile floor beneath her as she tried to focus on her work in front of her but failed when her hand found itself pulling away to trace doodles on the corner of a nearby notepad. Some of them were little stars. There were hearts surrounded by fireworks and butterflies making their ways across the page in a mass migration of curiosity. A sketch of her face aside one of Kray’s littered the top most edges here and there, some scribbled out when she had decided that they were not up to par with what he truly looked like.

Normally she would be hard at work. Normally there would be more appointments that she had to handle and organize. Spreadsheets of company and personal information would be spread about before her like pieces of a battleship game, needing to be adjusted and called out so that each one could be done and sunk in within a few precious moments. Calls would have to be made and orders given to those lower down under the request of business so that the company and all of Kray Foresight’s shareholdings in that company could go smoothly and without fault. It was her job to be the oil in the machine that filled them.

Today, however, was really hard to work.

The first thing Kray had done that morning was announce that the both of them would be getting off early. The order to cancel all of their plans and appointments after 2pm was a startling one to Star, but she obeyed with little resistance as the question left her lips. Brows knit together, she tilted her head at the man before her.

“Can I ask why you need to remove all of these appointments. Some of them are really important, Kray! You have a meeting with the global marketing executives of three neighboring cities at 4:30 and-”

His hand touched her lips, silencing her as she watched him with wide eyes. That same hand moved from her lips to her cheek, cupping it gently as he gazed down at her with that strong, soft looking smile that he always seemed to wear around her. It was a secret look given only to her and every time he gazed it made her heart beat ten times as fast as it normally did. Her cheeks were red as he leaned forward, kissing her forehead carefully before murmuring into her ears:

“Trust me, it’s important.”

She bit her lip one last time before it gave away to an excited smile, nodding her head as he removed his hand from her. With one last final sigh of indignation, Star hit the red ‘cancel’ button on the appointments and prepared for the onslaught of calls that would echo in her phone as to why the client’s meeting with Kray Foresight was so suddenly removed from their busy schedule.

It lead to her contemplation at the desk, picking at the smooth surface as she waited for the clock to strike the appropriate time for her to get off. Star’s mind had not stopped racing with the possibilities of the events that might occur. What was Kray going to do with her after the 2:00 mark? Was it something she should be worried about? No, of course not. They had long since passed the threshold of being worried with one another. Kray had proven time and time again that he was nothing but loyal and caring to her needs, each surprise always startling and exciting her more than the last one he had planned.

She recalled fondly the time that he had taken her to a zoo on her day off, the images of animals and exhibits displaying such rare commodities that barely existed in the world after the Great Blaze was something that set her heart beating at a rapid pace. How strange the world used to be. It was a far away, distant memory of something that was no longer obtainable to humans or burnish. The state of the earth was hot now. Estranged and different in its creation as magma heated up and, with it, burnish revolution.

Star bit back a laugh at the thought. Global warming used to be something people could joke about but now? It was all too real.

The increasingly melancholy emotion that began to settle into her stomach at the thought dissipated as soon as the gentle ring of her intercom echoed through the otherwise empty halls. Picking it up, she hit its speaker button with wide, curious eyes. Leaning in closer, Star spoke with a practiced professionalism to her tone that lent itself to her more out of habit than actual want for its presence.

“Yes, Mr. Foresight!”

“It’s 2:00, Star. Meet me in the lobby, alright?”

“Oh, right! I’ll be down soon, Kray.”

She smiled to herself at the quick change of his name, the shift of his professional title to his casual name always gave her a sense of whiplash. The ease with which it shifted was like something out of a romance movie. The dashing and debonair CEO of a corporation falling for his simple and soft secretary, only for their relationship to blossom into something more than either could have ever expected. The idea made her laugh, the blush evident on her rosy cheek as she gathered up her stuff from her desk,bid farewell to the security guards that monitored just outside of the reception area, and made her way towards the lobby of the Foresight tower.

The lobby was less than bustling. Every worker was still in their quarters, busily going about their duties until the five o’clock bell rang to signal the day was over. There was something surreal about being out so early, Star noted. It was like when you were pulled out of school early as a child, the pride of walking down empty halls unnoticed by everyone but you and the classmates you had left in your wake. It would almost be worth the doctor’s appointment or dentist trip that you would have to go through to manage.

Instead, though, this was a date. At least she assumed it was a date. There was usually few reasons he would cancel so many appointments outside of spending time with her, the knowledge both flattering and worrying Star all at once. Could he afford this? If one of the meetings got too offended with his cancellation they might do something to harm his reputation! The last thing she wanted was to be responsible for something bad happening to either him or his company. Her teeth worried at her bottom lip as the thoughts put her body on autopilot, shifting her movements so that she exited the lobby with ease and stood outside the impressive building with her fingertips pushing against one another in front of her.

A hand on her back startled her into a stick straight position. Kray’s chuckle echoed comfortingly at her side.

“You were thinking.” He noted as she finally looked up at him.

Kray was as handsome as he ever was, the sunlight shining off his golden hair to make it look like he was wearing a halo. The light reflected so beautifully, like an angel who had come from the heavens to greet her, the smile on his lips all the affirmation she needed that she was loved.

Loved… The feeling was a warm and intense heat all throughout her body. It was a hot sensation that only grew the closer she was to Kray. As if there was a string of fate connecting them. A line of important warming up between them as they got to know one another. Star smiled and leaned up despite herself, her lips puckering for a kiss she couldn’t reach due to their height different. Kray watched her for a second, amused at the attempt, before leaning down to allow the kiss to be placed on his cheek. In turn, he moved his mouth so that it covered hers, holding the true kiss for a long and complete moment between them.

“I don’t remember what I was thinking about now.” Star admitted, dazed through the power of the lip-to-lip contact her man had offered her. Kray chuckled and held onto her as he lead her forward.

“That’s fine, we’ll have a lot to think about on our day out. Shall we get started?”

Star skipped forward with an eagerness in her step, head tilting curiously as he made his way with her to the limousine that they traveled often in.

“Just where are you taking me?” Her tone was teasing as she smiled up at him, eyebrows raised in genuine curiosity that made her face look so inquisitive and soft that Kray’s heart nearly burst from his chest. He stared down for one long, quiet moment before clearing his throat and giving her a reassuring smile one last time.

“You’ll see when we get there, it’s a surprise.”

Star fidgeted the entire car trip, her legs crossed and her hands in her lap as she watched her fingers shift from one point to another. Though she was nervous, there was a strong tinge of excitement underneath the layer of anxiety. Underneath that estranged worry she had her soul was layered with a sense of eagerness. Delight to know that, wherever she was going, she would be bringing Kray with her. No, more like he was bringing her with him. They were going together, wherever they were going, of their own volitions. It was that thoughtful memory that made Star excited. That one piece of trivia that made her heart thrum with a renewed excitement for Kray Foresight. It was like she was falling in love with him over and over again.

She couldn’t get enough of it.

Kray’s hand rested on her leg, calming the jostling it had started to take up doing, making Star bit her lip in surprise and look up at the man at her side. HIs smile was kind to her as he held her, thumb brushing over her knee gently. A blush heated up her face as she smiled, her smaller hand reaching out to rest atop his larger one. The two shifted so that their fingers were soon entwined with one another, his grip firm and strong and hers light and gentle. She loved how strong his hands were. How easily they knew how to hold her in just the right way to make her feel safe and secure. To not worry about anything in his presence.

As the car slowed to a halt, the tinted windows blocked her view to the outside world. A soft pout formed on Star’s lips as she tried (and failed) to look out one of them in hopes of being able to see just where they were. When she turned to face Kray to ask what was going on, he only offered her a small bag in return.

“Here,” He smiled, “You may want to change into this.”

Her curious look morphed into surprise as she grabbed at the bag to peer into it, noting the beautiful purple and gold one piece swimsuit within it, completely with a matching skirt cover up and hat. Pulling out the items, it took her mind a moment to connect the dots of their location and the gifts but, when the realization crossed her mind, she gasped.

“Kray are we-.”

“See for yourself.”

He gestured to the door, leaning around her to open it.

Star peered out in shock. The beachside was abandoned besides them, the sand radiated a sweet and comforting warmth from its edges as the water lapped away at it from the safe distance. The ocean glimmered beautifully across the entire horizon, like a blue gem in the nothingness as the sky glittered blues and purples above them. The only other open item on the beach was a single, smooth beachside shack. She imagined it housed changing rooms and showers. LIkely even a small bar to eat from, and her heartbeat elevated in excitement.

“I thought there were no more beaches left anymore?!” She gasped as she hopped out of the limousine. Kray took his time rounding his own corner, running a hand through his hair with a smile down at his awed girlfriend.

“It’s a project we’ve been working on,” Kray admitted with a cheeky hum to his voice, “Terraforming devices were used to build up the landscape and fit this together. Though, I admit its more of a lake than a true ocean. A majority of the water across the bay are reflective holographic panels and the sand ends shortly in a mile in either direction, but to most who would want the feel of a beach day, I’d say it’s sufficient don’t you?”

“It’s more than that!” Star giggled as she ran forward, having taken her heels off she now let her feet be engulfed by the warm sand with an excited smile, “It feels like it’s a real thing! This is amazing, Kray!”

Kray couldn’t hide the smile that broke across his mouth, edge upturned edge lacing with pride as he watched his beloved girlfriend all but scramble out of the parking lot and towards the beach, her new swimsuit in hand as she made it towards the shack to change into it. He followed her lightly in return, the driver of the car dropping his own bag of swimwear into his hands as he went to do so.

It was only a few minutes before both were in their swimsuits. Star rushed towards the water, stopping just along its edge as she watched the waves lap at the edges of the sand. As the tide inched towards her, she squealed when the cold water engulfed her feet, smiling at the feeling of its bite against her ankles as it surrounded the lower half. She stepped around against the softening sand beneath her and felt some of the material give way underneath her movements. A startled trip against an uneven part of the ground made her fall backwards, a shocked yelp leaving her mouth as she all but careened downwards for a brief and terrifying moment.

Strong hands caught her body, a covered chest providing cushioning against the otherwise nasty (and wet) fall she might have taken had Kray not been there. Looking upwards with surprise, Star noted the way Kray’s smile had turned almost smug as he tilted his head towards her.

“I know you fell for me, but you should be more careful.”

“It wasn’t like that, dummy!” She laughed as her blush roared across her cheeks, her hand gently smacking his pectoral in return and causing him to laugh lightly as well.

As she regained her balance, Star kicked up some of the salty water as it returned against their legs with renewed vigor, splashing it against Kray’s legs as he stepped back in surprise. A daring look sparkled against his cheeks and Star new that she had started something she was not sure if she could finish. Still, the grin of excitement upon her lips was genuine as she skittered away across the shoreline, laughing as she was chased by the man behind her, who followed with an almost relaxed ease. His height would have made it easy for him to overtake her, but then the chase would have no true meaning. It was only when they managed to run a decent distance that he picked up his pace, his arms finding Star’s wiast and lifting her up.

Star’s scream echoed into giggles as she was spun around in his grip, her fingertips clinging to his shoulders for dear life as she was brought downwards into a sweet, deep, and salty sort of kiss. The spray of the ocean hit her cheeks as she smiled against his mouth, her hands finding his cheeks and holding him where he was.

It was a long and languid kiss, her body pressing against his torso as he held her up. Her legs popped backwards, the semblance of a foot pop as best she could do above her own center of gravity, and the curve of a smile against her lips was soft as she pulled away from him with a gaze that resonated nothing but the softest of loves.

She always looked at him like that. Like he was the only thing in her world. An intense and caring sort of stare that focused solely on him. Solely on admiring the contents of his soul and his heart and his mind and his body. All of it was an almost overwhelming look, the gaze making Kray’s cheeks heat up as she continued to gaze lovingly at him.

Kray had often forgotten what it was like to be so adored by a singular person. Certainly the masses found him beautiful and creative. The world looked up to him as a pioneer of technology. There was a strange disconnect in the love of an entire group, however. A group mentality of care and cooperation needed for survival. Of course they would look up to him, a man who pushed through all of the survival and created something for himself. It was easier to follow than it was to lead. To look up at him as they did without focusing on what was truly beneath him.

Star, though? She looked at him as Kray. As someone she trusted and adored and… He couldn’t quite figure out why, of all things, this was so different.

Maybe it was because he loved her too.

He kissed her again, sweet and languid as his mind raced with the thoughts of care he didn’t think he could have so much of for one person.

“How about we have dinner in my penthouse? The sunset will be beautiful from the top of the tower.”

Star giggled and pecked at his nose with a nod.

“I’d love nothing more.”

Their trip from the private beach back to the Foresight tower felt shorter than the drive from it. The movements of the car lulled Star into a sense of relaxation. As her dry work clothes rubbed against her chilled, water-kissed skin and created a sweet sense of friction, warming her up as she let her head rest on Kray’s arm. Shutting her eyes, she wasn’t quite sure when she had fallen asleep during the drive before he was gently nudging her to get her awake. Her eyes fluttered open, a yawn stretching her lips as she rubbed the nap away from her bleary vision. Looking up at Kray, he gazed down with a sense of care and admiration that made her feel, suddenly, all too exposed under his eyes.

His gaze always did that. Gave her the sense that she was the most important thing in the world. Gave her the feeling that she was… care for. That she was the only thing under that gaze and nothing in the world, burnish or otherwise, could possibly change that. It was a feeling that made her heart clench up in all the right ways as she gazed up at him, smiling just as he was at her. He was a sun and she could stare at, blinded by the care that seemed to radiate from his entire body all at once and the warmth that it created was something even more sweet than that of a fire or blanket or anything in between.

They exited the vehicle and moved on to the tower, the elevator taking them all the way upwards towards the top of the tower. The sky was beginning to fall with shades of pinks and purples as the setting of the sun beyond the horizon of Promepolis dragged its shadow further against buildings and cars alike. By the time they reached the top of the tower the entirety of it was bathed in that beautiful sunset, the air smelling of something as sweet as the colors were. They swirled in shades of cotton candy and wildflowers. Clouds dotted the sky above the entire sky like pointillism, painting a sense of comfort and beauty in a way that took Star’s breath away the longer she watched it above her.

The wide open area of the rooftop was windy, but not obnoxiously so. The table in the center of the entire area was draped with a white cloth, intricately laced with gold fleur de lis and edges of flowers. The food that rested atop the cloth, however, was the center of attention. Deliciously laid out steaks amongst vegetables roasted in garlic with tall glasses of white wine aligning themselves neatly against the side of pure silver tableware and folded ivory napkins with lacing that matched the edges of the cloth beneath the beautiful white plates. Star wasn’t sure if she was supposed to drool over the food or admire the view of the city beneath them.

Kray’s hand suddenly landed on her shoulder as she inched closer to the edge of the building, staring downwards at the world below them as the people and the cars moved through the grid of the city like small working ants. It was so strange, being so high up like this. So detached from the world around them. As though they were above it all. As though something about the entirety of the world was smaller than them… It was a strange feeling for her. Kray’s hand tightened, as though in fear that she might slip off and fall. If she did… Would she fly?

Probably not.

“Everything is so different from up here,” Star whispered softly to the man at her side, “Like we’re in a world above the one we’re watching…”

“We are,” Kray murmured in return, “In a way. We’re in a world that is for us right now. A world filled with opportunities and changes. Places that we can study and learn the secrets of the world. From up here… It’s as if we have the power of the entirety of the city from here, don’t you think?”

Star laughed, the sound soft in the back of her throat as she thought of just what he was saying. Just what it all meant, being as high up above people like this. It was… strange. Foreign. She wasn’t sure if the word ‘wrong’ was the correct one but something it was almost unusual.

She turned to face Kray all the way, her eyes wide and sparkling with curiosity. Her gaze held his with curiosity as it became… serious. She bit her lip and tilted her head up to him with a wondering expression.

“Is… There a reason that you brought me up here, Kray?”

Another echo of silence. The wind howled around them, sending goosebumps up her side as she watched his face morph from a smile to something serious and then to something… different. Something she hadn’t seen on him before as he cleared his throat and looked away fro a moment, collecting himself. What did he need to collect himself for? Star’s mind raced dramatically through the movements he made as he changed his positions. As he reached downwards for something. Something… What was it?

“Star… For all the time we’ve been dating you’ve made me happy,” Kray admitted with a soft breathiness to his voice, “I never thought it was possible for someone to make me feel the way you have in all of this time we’ve been together. More than a secretary… or friend… or lover. You deserve more. More than the world below us has to offer. So… I will offer it to you. As best as I can, I want you to have everything you deserve and more.”

He got on one knee, his impressive height causing him to simply meet her eye to eye as he stared forward at her. Star tensed up, her breath hitching in her lungs as a hand reached up to cover her lips as they flew open in shock.

“Star…” Kray’s voice was gentle as he smiled at her, his lips gentle as he took her free hand in his own, pulling his other outwards from his pocket to reveal a small, velvet box.

The box opened. Within it a diamond ring sparkled in the low light of the setting sun, the band of gold glinting just right with the reflection of the gems. The middle gem was heart shaped, curling with surrounding gems that layered outwards in smaller rows. They shone like rainbows against the cotton candy skyline, shifting their hues with the movement of the box in Kray’s hand. He looked down for a long moment at the gem and then back up at Star, his patience easygoing as he watched her face morph between awe and shock as tears formed up in the corners of her eyes.

“Will you marry me?”

The question sent the dam bursting, her tears falling down her cheeks as she laughed through her sobs, taking a step back as though the shine of the ring might burn her skin if she got too close. Star felt the ruffle of wind on her hair again, the goosebumps rising from delight rather than cold now, and she couldn’t see through the tears that now fell. Kray felt a blush warm his cheeks at her reaction, the excitement so clear on her perfect lips that it made him stiffen with pride.

“I… Kray I’m…” Star tried to formulate the words. Any words to express her excitement. To display her gratitude. To admit to him just how much she loved him back and how much she wanted this in her life. How much she wanted HIM in her life. To be with him in such an official way for the rest of their lives… The very thought made her head spin with excitement and her chest heave with eager hope.

Instead she simply said the one word that would seal it all at once.

“Y-Yes! Yes. Yes… I accept!”

The words fell from her mouth like a waterfall as she launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around Kray’s shoulders and pushing herself into the most intense hug she could muster through the tears.

Kray gasped and laughed, wrapping her up in a tight hug and heaving her into his arms, their lips colliding into a powerful kiss.

They held their kiss for a long, deep moment. Their bodies held tight together as they shared the moment that was, surely, the echo of their true feelings.

When they pulled away and Star was put back down on the ground, she smiled up at him, the tears stopping but the aftermath of their warm glow on her face still there as she bit her lip. Kray sighed with delight and took the ring from its box, holding up her hand and carefully sliding the piece onto her ring finger. It fit easily, her measurements memorized in both his mind and database enough for it to be perfect on the first try.

“Kray… Are you sure?” Star gasped with a smile.

He kissed her again, his smile evident.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life… I’ve never been more sure of you.”

The air was mellowing out around them, the sun finishing her descent across the sky so the city glowed with its set lighting and beautiful rainbow stars of windows and cars moving below. The world was endless around them, constantly shaping and changing as Star had thought it always would.

But the difference now was that she had Kray Foresight. All of him, for the rest of their lives.

And it was perfect.

#self ship #self insert #self shipping #kinley writes #commission work #kray foresight #promare #promare oc

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dangermousie · 5 years

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Turkish shows I watched or tried to this week

Because why not! The good, the bad, and the ugly

Ask ve Ceza (Love and Punishment) - oldie but goodie about a woman who gets pregnant from a one-night stand. On the plus side, her partner in that is hot and also smitten at first sight. On the minus side, he gets married to someone else shortly after, his family is psycho, and the heroine doesn’t want the kid. The chemistry between the leads is great. They also play genuine adults, which is amazing (and the heroine is allowed to be ambivalent about the pregnancy; the only reason she doesn’t go through with the abortion is that she has a medical condition that would make it problematic.) It’s an “old” show and it’s rather startling to see how much more frank and less conservative it is than modern ones. I am on ep 7.

Carpisma (Collision) - I am sort of watching it, because I love the leading actors and the concept of it (four people whose lives intersect in a literal car crash, who unite to take out an evil dude), but the execution is full of holes. Still, Kivanc plus an OTP or two means I won’t ditch it, even though I don’t love it as much as I thought I would. I am on ep 9 (so yes, behind.)

Halka (The Ring) - objectively speaking, this is probably the most solid of all the airing Turkish shows I am watching, but the fact that crime/detective/conspiracy genres are not really my thing, keeps it from being n1 favorite for me. Two men who are connected in complicated fashion trying to infiltrate a crime ring that took out their father (sort of, long story), tough mob girls etc. It’s very good. I have watched 8 eps.

Hercai (Unreliable) - If you have been anywhere near my tumblr in the last few days, you saw my obsession over this. Yes, I realize, this is basically a mix of a Rosemary Rogers opus and a Japanese cellphone novel, and no, I don’t care. The old-fashioned and exotic to me setting, the delicious “he marries her for revenge on her father but falls for her” set-up, the chemistry between the actors, the sheer emo meloness of it all. I love it. Only one ep is out and I have devoured it.

Kalbimin Sultani (Sultan of my Heart) - if you want historical realism or nuanced politics, look elsewhere. If you love a gorgeous fairy tale though, come right in. Our heroine is a young Russian woman who is hired to be the governess to the Sultan’s children, but in reality she is there to spy. Unfortunately, she and the studly Sultan fall in love. Obstacles present themselves (though at least unlike some of the other Turkish heroes, the already-married status is no problem for the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire.) It really is darling. It was a Russian-Turkish co-production and I am watching the Russian version (with 24 eps of 45 minutes each) because while the Turks ended it early due to ratings, Russian TV ran the entire thing. I am on ep 1.

Kara Sevda (Black Love) - sometimes, I am just in the mood for an exquisitely made and acted tragic love story. The hero of this is a smart, hardworking young man from a poor family. He meets a beautiful rich girl who falls for him and is willing to give up her society friends and wealth to be the wife of a mining engineer in the middle of nowhere. Unfortunately, a wealthy psycho who is obsessed with her manages to part the two. When the OTP meets again, it’s years later. She is unhappily married to the psycho, he is a rising star in his field, and they never got over each other. Bring on the tissues and the smelling salts. I am on ep 2.

Kardes Cocuklari (Sisters’ Children) - I am hardly the arbiter of highbrow tastes (see my obsession with Hercai), but this is pure soapy trash. Ancient secrets, lots of boring baddies getting too much screen time, romance sidelined due to weird family drama etc all mean I watch it in the background or fast forward through it. Still, there is enough there (mainly Afra, who I really love) to keep me watching. It’s by the writer of Fazilet and you can see a lot of the same issues Fazilet had, but sadly without the addictive obsession that was YagHaz. I am all caught up with this one.

Kuzgun (Raven) - revenge with a dash of romance where our protagonist plans revenge on all who destroyed his family and turned his childhood into hell. That includes his childhood BFF who is now (of course) a stunning blonde. This is somewhat less romantic and more revengy than I wanted, but it’s still a solid, deliciously angsty good time. Five eps are out and I have watched them all.

Samanyolu (The Milky Way) - they are first cousins in love! But she spurns him for an abusive husband! But never fear, that marriage ends and they may get together! Exclamation exclamation exclamation! I am only one ep in, but this is deliciously overwrought. It’s an older, complete show, so I will probably watch at my leisure aka very slowly.

Tek Yurek (United Heart) - it a hockey sports drama with some romance and other stuff thrown in. I liked the first ep, but I frankly don’t have enough time, so I will probably go back to it when my viewing list is shorter.

Vuslat (Reunion) - I tried, I really tried. I made it through five episodes before giving up out of sheer puzzled boredom. I could not follow the plot because it was so disjointed and rambling, most of the characters were unpleasant and boring (that includes the heroine - that actress is neither great at acting nor does she possess much onscreen charisma. Her chemistry with her leading man is nonexistent.) It seems to be doing well enough, but it’s cancelled to me.

Yemin (Promise) - I have found a weekend family kdrama in a Turkish envelope! Our heroine is basically saintly - when we first see her, she is in prayer. She takes care of pigeons and her dead mother’s grave. She is so dutiful she agrees to marry some man she doesn’t know because her elderly “godfather” is dying and it’s his wish. Surprisingly, I love her anyway. But I feel bad she is going to be saddled with her arranged husband, who has little to recommend anyone. Frankly, I am more interested in whatever story will evolve around his very young uncle who is a single father to a mute little girl. He is not only good-looking but a really decent man. I kind of wish he was the one entering the arranged marriage. I am two eps in.

#hercai #kuzgun #carpisma #kalbimin sultani #ask ve ceza #Lucy Hale #kara sevda #kardes cocuklari #samanyolu #tek yurek #yemin #turkish tv

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timeisacephalopod · 5 years

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Bug

Just a lil Tony/Rhodey thing based around my completely evidenceless headcanon that Rhodey is terrified of bugs :) Bonus points for a dash of superfamily (without the super).

Tony drags his ass home from a long meeting only to have Rhodey immediately run behind him and grab his hips, forcing Tony in front of him. “Do you husband duties and kill the bug!” he yells.

Sam appears from around the corner with his cell phone out obviously filming. “Rhodey, you’re fine I’m sure the bug isn’t that big,” he says, familiar with how this game goes.

“That thing is the size of me and Miles abandoned me with it! We need a new son!” he yells.

He lets out a long sigh as Sam starts laughing, presumably again. “Rhodey we’re not disowning our kid because you don’t like that he tried to make you kill your own bug. We’ve talked about this- you’re a grown man, and you’ve fought in actual wars. Bugs are not scarier than people with guns and bombs,” he says calmly.

Rhodey looks at him like he’s nuts. “You wanna know what happens when you shoot people? They go down, same if you blow ‘em up. Wanna know what happens if you smack a bug off the ceiling? Fucking nothing because those little bastards don’t even take fall damage and they’re faster than me. Get the bug! This suburban shit is not for me, Tony, we are moving back to the city there were no bugs in your penthouse.”

Sam has doubled over, taking the phone with him and he’s laughing so hard he’s silent. “Rhodey, there are bugs everywhere- you have to deal with this.”

“I will file for divorce if you do not march your beautiful mayonnaise ass into that kitchen to kill that bug right now, Tony.”

He’s serious too, this has also happened before and Tony doesn’t want to explain to a divorce lawyer why ‘he didn’t kill the bug’ is the reason for a divorce. “This is why Miles abandoned you,” he mumbles.

“Well that’s fine, I abandoned him too, he’s cancelled. I have no time for ungrateful children who do not realize that they need to repay my love and support with bug killing duties,” Rhodey says. “Go get the bug.” He prods Tony forward a little and he lets out another sigh.

“Baby, what makes you think the bug is still where you left it?”

Rhodey freezes in terror for a moment before frantically looking around. “Why you say something like that you know how I feel about bugs!”

Sam continues wheezing away but he’s repointed the camera at him and Rhodey. Tony rubs his temples. “Honey, you need therapy to deal with bugs we can’t keep killing them for you. Hey, wait a second why the fucking haven’t you killed the bug?” he asks Sam.

“And miss this comedy? Hell no, this is way too funny to watch,” he says.

Rhodey gives him an offended look and turns to Tony, “you see what kind of rude ass friends you keep? That’s disrespectful!”

“Baby. Sam is your friend,” Tony reminds him. Its not like he’s the one who found Sam through the military that’s Rhodey’s deal.

“He sure shit isn’t now,” Rhodey mumbles. “Now kill. That. Bug.”

Sure, he could argue but what’s the point of that? So he goes into the kitchen and Rhodey leaves him at the doorway, apparently no longer willing to risk the bug while Sam follows him inside. “Its on the counter,” Rhodey tells him, half hiding behind the kitchen doorway.

“I don’t need you to be a back seat bug killer, honey. This is not the first bug I’ve killed for you,” he points out.

“Well you have a thirty nine percent fail rate and the bug reappearance rate is eleven percent so you need to kill that shit!” Rhodey tells him.

Sam lets out another loud wheeze, “he did the fucking math!”

“Damn right I did, I need to know who is the most efficient bug killer in this household. Miles has a seventy percent fail rate, that kid can’t kill bugs for shit. We should have another one- maybe that one will know how to kill bugs. Or could get a cat, they kill bugs, right?”

For a moment Tony allows himself to imagine a life where Rhodey is not a crazy person who does the actual math on who has the best bug killing success. Things are blissful, Miles does not have to abandon his father, a grown ass man, to kill his own bugs and Tony does not have to come home to a whole ass husband screaming about bugs. But then that wouldn’t be Rhodey and as much as this fear is ridiculous he does love his husband very much.

“Honey, you’re allergic to cats so we’re not getting a cat and we aren’t having another kid because Miles isn’t good at killing bugs. Now take a breath because I am going to kill this bug,” he tells Rhodey.

Rhodey lets out a small little gasp and hides behind the doorway further and honest to god the spider isn’t even that big and mostly seems to be minding its own business even if its on the counter. Tony looks around but Miles must have run off with the room’s Designated Fly Swatter so he grabs a plate and smashes it over the spider. Rhodey lets out a loud yelp, “why would you smash it with a plate, Tony!”

“There was no fly swatter,” he says as Sam starts wheezing again.

Rhodey looks at him like he’s nuts. “That’s not a logical solution, baby.” He’s looking at the counter with more concern than Tony thinks is strictly necessary and Sam is trying his best to point the camera while laughing. “That spider is dead, right?” Rhodey asks.

Tony looks over to the spider amongst the plate chunks. “Yeah, honey, its dead.”

Rhodey lets out a loud sigh of relief and leans into the doorway. “Oh my god, that was stressful I thought I was going to die today, damn. Get that plate out of here, I want nothing to do with that. And get rid of that counter too, that thing is deleted, send it to Guatemala I don’t give a shit just get it out of the country. We are moving from the suburbs, I don’t care if we have to send Miles to a different school I cannot handle these suburban bugs. White people are brave, a little too brave, you guys got cocky after colonization.”

Tony lets out a long sigh, “Rhodey, no one is going to eat off a broken plate. We already had to throw it out and the counter stays.”

Rhodey gives him a look, “are you suggesting that we’d keep that plate if it didn’t break? What is wrong with you! And we’re not keeping that counter either, I know what happened on it- I can’t eat from that anymore.” He gives the counter a distressed look and Tony sighs.

“You wouldn’t even know the difference.” He knows this because this is not the first time he’s used an unconventional weapon to kill bugs and Rhodey never notices after he forgets a bug was killed with it. Or if Tony fake buys a new umbrella so Rhodey won’t keep getting soaked in the rain because he killed a bug with the last umbrella. Not that he’ll fill Rhodey in on that detail because if he did then Rhodey would probably buy all new everything in an attempt to avoid bug taint.

“Would so- I’d be able to feel its evil energies,” he says and Tony lets out a long sigh.

“What does that even mean?”

“It means bugs give off evil energies and I can sense it,” Rhodey says, way too serious about such a stupid statement. Sam lets out another round of laughter at that.

Miles looks unimpressed, which isn’t unusual for a fourteen year old boy, but when he walks over with purpose Tony suspects something’s up. “Dad, why are a meme?” he asks Rhodey. Rhodey looks up from the tablet he’s reading the news from- also something Tony has killed a bug with not that Rhodey knows that’s the same tablet- and frowns.

“What?”

Miles holds out his phone and sure enough there’s a picture of Rhodey’s face when he’d told Tony that killing bugs with plates isn’t a logical solution. The caption on it is ‘when something isn’t a logical solution’ and Tony largely suspects its being used as a reaction image. “Huh, I didn’t think people would find that as funny as Sam,” he says. He’d posted the video to YouTube and said people thought it was hilarious but frankly Sam is as prone to exaggeration as Rhodey. He’s married to Bucky and he still complains that he’s the worst human to exist ever in the history of humanity. To be fair Bucky seems to share that sentiment.

“People love this video. Also you’re a meme too,” he tells Tony, taking his phone back for a moment and extending it again. Tony looks exceptionally done in the picture, clearly exhausted with Rhodey’s freaking out over bugs and people seem to find it funny.

“Why is your face looking like that? I was in danger and you’re out there looking like I was inconveniencing you? What kind of husband are you?” Rhodey asks, offended.

“Yeah, I think the reason people find this so funny is because you aren’t the typical Mulder vs Scully kind of opposites. Like the straight shooting guy smashed a bug with a plate and like... even the people watching this for the first time know that’s not the first time you’ve done something like that. So now you guys are weird vs weirder,” Miles says and Tony is genuinely impressed and also confused by the amount of time Miles has spent analyzing this. But then he’s spent a strange amount of time directing every piece of every Star Wars movie too. They came out when Tony was a kid but shit he has nothing on Miles’ love for the Star Wars universe.

“I don’t care why I’m a meme, how do I stop that?” Rhodey asks.

Of all the years of dealing with Tony’s fame he seriously asks that? “Memes go by fast, relax,” he tells Rhodey.

“If you don’t want to be a meme get therapy for the bugs. You got one measly ass bug in your ear as a kid and now you’re trying to convince us all to send the counter to Guatemala,” Mile says, shaking his head.

Rhodey gives him an offended look. “Excuse you, that was a traumatic event!”

“We know that, we’re living with the fallout and I do not have a seventy percent fail rate!”

“You do so, and those bugs have a seventeen percent reappearance rate. And you know what, this is all your fault,” he tells Tony and he frowns.

“What? How the hell is this my fault?” he asks.

“If you had’ve listened to me when I told you about the bug in my ear none of this would have happened!”

Oh yeah it would have but Tony isn’t going to argue about that. “Rhodey you didn’t tell me anything about the bug, you were screaming about helicopters in your ear.”

“That was me telling you about the bug! It was so loud in there flapping around!” He shudders and makes a face.

“Helicopters don’t fit in ears, Rhodey! How the hell was I supposed to know?”

He rolls his eyes, “oh what the hell else could it have been?” he asks.

Tony rolls his eyes, “I don’t know, I thought you dropped acid or something.”

Rhodey squints at him. “We were eleven, Tony. What kind of eleven year old drops acid?”

Miles lets out an annoyed noise, “who cares about the circumstances of the bug. You have been in war zones but its a bug that did you in? That’s not logical, dad. Get therapy so you can kill your own bugs.”

Rhodey stands, “I will sooner die in hell fire than kill my own bugs.”

Tony sighs and resolves to tell JARVIS to post this to YouTube too and Miles can deal with being the next ‘that’s not logical’ meme.

#tony x rhodey #ironhusbands #fanfiction #alternate universe #crack fic

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dear--j · 5 years

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10/11 150.2bit live report

So yesterday's event was the Loft Culture and Music festival (or something). For 4500 yen, you got a drink + access to all of the artists/events, so it was a good deal. I only wanted to see Momoka, so it was a bit pricey, but w/e.

She started off with a 20 min live (was more like 15). It was soooooo fun! First, 150.2bit is no longer a girls band. There was disagreement in what type of music to play and other performances were cancelled, and this one was at risk of being cancelled too, but her management managed to scrape a team together, including one of her friends (Seiji). They had a brief sound check before starting.

The first two songs was basically Momoka touching herself all over. Occasionally she'd throw herself on the floor. As you do, I guess? She made a show of her shirt/dress being too short so it barely covered her very tiny bike shorts. It was very typical Momo style lol They weren't really songs that I'd normally listen to, and I couldn't always pick out the words (mix of bad mic/bad placement of mic and too loud music and also the style - metalkawaii lol). But live music is always better than a cd for me, especially when the artist is enjoying themselves. A lot of the fans weren't really getting into it? I kinda felt they were fans from her NMB days, and they seemed a little out of place. There was a dude in a business suit going hard in the front row so shout out to him. Then there was a brief MC.

There were a few other songs, and I really enjoyed most of them. For one song, that I'll call 'Ai ni' or the spitting leaves song, Momoka put on a panda hat and started to eat leaves? As you do I guess? Occasionally she'd spit them out, sometimes on stage, sometimes on people. It be that way, I guess? At the end of the song, she gave someone in the front row two wooden boards so she could pretend to kick them in half lmao It was really cheesy ;;

Throughout the show you could really see she was enjoying herself. She seemed to get along well with her bandmates, especially Sakana-chan and Seiji. It was honestly worth the time and money! After the show, we all basically dashed to the talk session venue to try and get a seat but it looks like a bunch of people were there for the MCs? So just stayed there after the previous session. (Once this was over, it was a dash back to the first venue) The talk session was also great. The announcers called Momo out and the door opened and nothing..? Next minute, Momo's falling down the stairs with chuhai in her hand lmaoooooo It was live streamed so it's probably out there somewhere, but she spoke about how she likes alcohol even though she isn't much of a drinker. She spoke about her family and sister a bit. A lot of the time she started with "it's kinda bad to say, but" lol She hasn't changed her character, and you can see she's being her genuine self and enjoying every minute of it. She's an absolute joy to watch. She convinced the MCs to come and buy her cd as well, so that was cool. They weren't really sure of what to make of her to begin with, but they warmed up to her really quick - "your eyes are really sparkling!". She's got a really nice, every day person vibe. I think if she plays her cards right she'll really be able to do well for herself.

The band members came out after a while too, except the drummer (and they were drinking as well lol). Sakana-chan is very cute and seems to have her own group of fans. It was basically Momo and Seiji speaking because the other too are 'ng at speaking' according to Momo. They get along really well and Momo was really honest in talking about how the girl's band idea didn't play out but they were able to get together today regardless. Her and Seiji have been friends for a while actually, and she's really happy she got to perform with him. This group has a really good energy, so I hope they can stay together (I don't care for a girl's band one way or the other - good music is good music). They're a fun, chaotic bunch lol

At one point, Momoka asked the audience if they knew who she was lmao One of the MCs is like 'why do you think they came here? of course they're here to see you lmao' .... '.....ah' .... '....you seriously know me..?' lmaoooooo she's so funny! She was being a bit vulgar (as is her way), but she was a joy to watch and she had a good time and it was really contagious. She was really happy to have fans and she wants to do well by us.

The last event was not actually a live like I thought, it was actually a sales event of her CD! (The way to get to the sales area was poorly organised, but that was the venue's/organiser's fault, not her's.) Everyone but Seiji and the drummer were there. It was limited to one per person (some girls whined about this, but Momo instantly scolded them (in a kind way), saying there were more people in line who deserved a chance to buy them).

The cd was 600 or 700 yen (I don't really remember, or care, and I would have paid more if she asked lol). After you got the cd you had to walk past Momo to leave. I kinda thanked her as I was leaving, and she's like 'oh! thanks! I could see you the whole time! Come again, kay?' and honestly? Those words are gonna get me through the week lol She wasn't speaking to everyone because she was busy drinking and talking to her band members, and she wasn't saying generic phrases. Everything was individual.

About the cd first, it was recorded/printed on 11/10 so it's super recent lmao The CD is actually called 11/10 Demo lol The CD itself is white with black text and there is only front cover art, nothing on the back. It's a very cheaply made cd, but that's kinda charming in it's own way. The cover art is actually purikura, just blown up. You can actually see the text and stuff in the image still lol The CD itself has three tracks (I don't trust the names iTunes has brought up for them ;; ). The first is a talk session (3min~) with Momo and Seiji. I'll translate it later, maybe on the weekend (or try to - they're a little difficult to understand at points and spend half the time cackling haha). The second track is about 2mins, but I don't think it's the full version. It wasn't my favourite that they performed. The third track is the spitting leaves song. It was written by Moose Man (I can't remember his name but he was wearing a wig with moose antlers and a cap, so Moose Man). It's really catchy. I like it a lot.

Before anyone asks, I will not be sharing the cd, or putting it online - there were very limited copies available, and I was the only foreigner. I don't want to be banned from events, and when artists are still upcoming, they need to be supported. I hope we're able to get more songs soon. She had a really good range of songs and I'd love to see her grow more! (Hope this makes sense. Wrote it over the course of a few days. Feel free to ask q's!)

#Kinoshita Momoka #NMB48

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gujoonim · 6 years

Text

Bride for 100 Days

“I love you”

◇ characters : taehyung x reader ◇ genre : angst, arranged marriage au, best friend au ◇ summary : taehyung had always being dreaming of marrying the love of his life and when the dream finally came true, it turns out to be different from what he had expect. ◇ words : 3.1k

| hwtsily masterlist |

The suit is way too neat and it is almost perfect as no flaws can be found on the suit. All the stitches made were so detailed as if he could feel the diligence of the tailor to design this suit, especially for him. The special suit is for a special event and only the special person could see him wearing it.

He diverted his gaze from the mirror as he doesn’t want to shatter the glasses with his stare. As if his stare could dig a deep hole in it. A smile curled up on his lips when his mind initiated to imagine his brand new life that he will go through in half an hour from now.

His status will change from a bachelor to a married man and finally, he will marry with the love of his life. Someone who holds his heart for a long time.

“It’s Y/n.”

A deep alluring voice break the silence lingered in the room and it managed to grab Taehyung’s attention towards the owner of the voice. There is Jin with a giant smile springing on his face. He walked with a unique style towards him with his arms spread apart to give him a big hug.

As soon Taehyung saw him, he stepped towards to lessen the proximity between them before embracing him with his arms around the body. Jin patted his back for several times before he released the hug and look at Taehyung, smiling sheepishly.

It seems like Jin was the one that will be married today instead of Taehyung based on the expression painted on his face. Yet, it is not enough to describe how happy he is to see his best friend who he hasn’t seen for a long time will end his bachelor life by marrying with someone that he had been expected since then.

“I know from then that you will be married to Y/n.” That statement makes Taehyung confused as he keeps staring into Jin’s face to look for any sign of humour on it yet he found none.

His heart started to doubt and felt anxious about Jin’s word so that he tried to correct his perspective.

“But hyung-”

“Congrats on your wedding Tae. See you soon.”

Before he could even do that, Jin managed to interrupt and cut his intention and walked away from his previous position when he aware that the ceremony is going to start anytime soon. Before he stepped out of the room, he whirled around to express his thankful feelings for Taehyung who still dumbfounded.

“Anyways, thanks for choosing me as one of your best men. I’m really honoured.”

He froze at his place as his feet started to root on the floor. He couldn’t utter a word as his mind began to process Jin’s words just now. As he is imagining all the worst situation that he might have to face, the vibrating feelings against his thighs pulled him back to reality.

He pulled out his phone from the pocket and it showed that he got a few unread messages from the same person.

[ love 10:36 a.m ]

- babe, where r u? - i know u r nervous and so do i - the ceremony is going to start soon but u arent here yet - but don't pull this kind of prank to me today cause it isnt funny at all

All those messages from his bride. The one that he supposed to marry by now and the one that holds his heart for a long time. Lee Mijoo.

The content of the messages does fear him as the bride supposed to know whereabouts now because he already told one of his best men to inform the bride. But Mijoo seems like she doesn’t know about that and the fears come back when Jin’s words replaying on his mind now.

Then, he dashed out from the room in order to search any hint that can explain the real situation that he faced right now. His steps pace down when he saw a wedding banner by the main door of the hotel, which supposed to be his one since his parents already book the entire hotel special for his wedding ceremony. There’s no ongoing wedding ceremony there instead of himself.

As he stepped closer towards the banner, the more rapid his heart beating and he hopes that what is playing on his mind is only a negative thought not more than that.

Slowly, he lifted up his face that previously glued to the floor in order to look for any useful information on that banner.

For a moment, his heart skipped a beat.

The wedding of Kim Taehyung & Y/f/n.

An electrifying feeling flowed through his vein and his face turned pale as if there’s no blood flowing there. His breath hitched for a mere second and his mind drifted away, disbelief of what he just saw.

“You are not supposed to be here.” A familiar voice can be heard from his back and it makes him turn around to obtain an explanation from the person.

“Can you explain to me about this?”

His mom silent herself as she couldn’t answer his question and only can stare at him with sympathy splattered on her face. He let out a scoff as he can’t believe what is happening now.

He runs his fingers along his neat hair. “My bride is supposed to be Mijoo, not Y/n!” He burst out as rage flared from his body and expressed by the redness of his face.

His mother slightly shocked over his outburst and she quickly opened her mouth to speak out. In a hope that her words could reduce the anger of her son.

“This is the request that you need to fulfil in order to marry Mijoo.” She trailed off before continued back her hanging words.

“It’s an order from your grandfather.” She stated calmly and it makes the anger to grow bigger inside of him as he paces forth and back. He shook his head vigorously, disagree with the decision that is made with his consent.

He strode towards her and he grabbed her arms, tighten his grip in order for his mother to understand what he is trying to convey.

“I don’t love Y/n that way and she’s only my best friend. I love Mijoo, mom.”

Silence engulfed the atmosphere they are in and he uttered the next sentence. “I’m not going to continue with this marriage.” He grasped her arms firmly before loosening it and left her there.

The strong grip on his arms causes his steps to stop on the tracks. He surprised and turned to face the does. His eyes caught familiar eyes and for a moment he observed, he finally recognized the person. There’s his grandfather, who is shooting him a glare as his fingers wrapped tightly around his phone that had been snatched away from him just now.

He was confused with his grandfather’s action and only waiting for what he would do to him. His grandfather scrolled his phone for a moment before he shoved the phone in front of his face, showing him that he is making a phone call to Mijoo.

“Go on with this marriage or I will cancel one with Mijoo.”

“I do.”

“Jeon Jungkook, do you take Y/n as your lawful wife, to love, to honour and to cherish her now and forevermore?”

Happiness spread all over your face as you gazed lovingly into his eyes. If only you knew about the real situation that you faced now, it would definitely change by sorrowful looks. This kind of view annoyed as well as irritated him because seeing how happy you are when he suffered the most at this time, putting him into a deep and great pain.

At that moment, everyone there is waiting for his reply as the hall filled with silence without any sounds can be heard except breathing sounds of the guests there. Taehyung felt worried as he can’t say the ‘I do’ word and at the same time he needs to say so that his grandfather wouldn’t do anything that will make Mijoo misunderstand with the current situation.

His heart trembled in the ribcage as the sweat slowly flowed down his forehead. Yet, he still hesitant to respond to the long awaiting question from the pastor but when his eyes met his mother’s with a reassuring smile tugged on her lips, he already made up his mind.

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

As soon the sentences echoed in the entire hall, everyone cheered loudly in a sign of support for the most awaiting moment of the day, for Taehyung and Y/n to kiss each other before the walk down the aisle. Yet, everything makes him suffocated as the only things in his mind is only Mijoo and his guiltiness towards her.

A genuine smile plastered on your lips as you are so excited about waiting for a kiss from him. But, the cheers sound suddenly vanished in a blink of eyes as it is being interrupted by a loud shriek from the main door of the hall.

“Taehyung!”

Everyone there glued their eyes, as well as their attention, was no longer on you as they are fully on a lass who is also wearing a wedding gown and walk into the hall, walking along the aisle in a rapid pace. Everyone started to chatter to each other and a lot of assumption was made at that time.

Hurt and remorse painted on her tear-stained face as she gritted her teeth, walking towards both of you and Taehyung. Blood shot straight to Taehyung’s face making it red in colour as he seems quite surprised with the unexpected visit. His heart never stopped to pump out the amount of blood in is heart as oxygen can’t no longer being received by every part of his body properly. All of that makes him felt slightly dizzy.

Mijoo. He muttered yet audible enough for you to hear it. Your stares diverted from the lass towards Taehyung who already froze on his position. He seems scared as his face turned out pale as if his secret finally exposed and the girl is the cause of it.

But, this matter kept lingered in your mind despite the chaos that currently happened in the hall. Who is she? How come her presence give such an effect to Tae and it seems he can’t speak anything.

And one more thing, why she is wearing a wedding dress?

A loud sound of palms slapped against the cheeks pulled you out from your thought and followed by the guests gasping, surprised over the action that made by the girl. In a second, you pushed the girl away to the side and protected Taehyung from being hurt again by her.

“What’s your problem? Who are you?” You snapped at her, stretched out your arms to stop her from getting close to him.

Yet, the burning anger of yours distinguished in a blink of eyes when your eyes met her. For a moment, you stared into her blank eyes that hinted a spark of betrays and hope before she looks away to stare into his eyes. Then, her eyes filled with tears pooling at the brim of her eyes.

“How could you, Taehyung? Do you think this is sort of a joke?” She added and the vibration in her tone showed that she is trying her best to mask her real feelings. Taehyung just keeps quiet without saying anything, lowering his gaze on the floor to hide the changes of his face’s expression. It shows that her words giving an impact towards him.

The lass then lifted down her gaze and pulled out a ring from her ring fingers before she threw it on his face.

Once again, the guests were surprised over this girl action yet you couldn’t do anything as you started to felt concern and worried with the assumption that your mind began to make.

And as if she could read your mind, she looked at you with a disappointed expression on her face.

“I’m also his bride and now his ex-fiancée.”

“Thank you, uncle.” You thanked the driver of his parents before you come out from the car. And for Taehyung, he already left the car and you inside of it since you reached the house. Since the incident, he ignored you and he only keeps himself quiet and engulfed in silence. His eyes never met yours and if he did, he would definitely shot a deathly glare towards you.

The journey to the house was only filled with silence and accompanied by the radio breaking the ice.

You really wanted to settle down the problem by discussing this matter with him as he also owes you an explanation. Based on what Jimin said to you before you left the hotel, Mijoo is his girlfriend that he kept from you, your family and also his family. Only his best friend would know about her presence in his life and as what she is in his heart. Today is the day that both of them supposed to get married after a month engaged and Jimin was slightly shocked to receive an invitation card that claims it was you that is going to get marry with Taehyung instead of Mijoo.

And because of that, you would like to know his point of view regarding this matter. Why he did that and why he got married to you when he supposed to marry her at the same time.

What’s the fuck is going on right now and it keeps playing in your mind.

“You planned all of this, right?” He asked a question to you as he already took a seat on the couch while leaning his entire against it. His looks upwards as his eyes closed wistfully.

His voice awakes you from ponder and when you finally aware that you already in the house, you couldn’t decipher his question just now.

“Huh?” You asked unison as you wanted him to repeat his question back.

A scoff came out from his mouth as he whirled around to make an eye contact with you. The burning and dark eyes of his do make you felt chills as a dark aura slowly creeps onto your skin.

He isn’t like Taehyung that you used to know. Taehyung that always has a smile lingering on his face, happiness never been replaced by sorrowful looks on him. Now, he is staring at you as you are his enemy and as if he was a prey and you are his victim that needs to be sacrificed.

“Don’t pretend, Y/n. I know you persuaded my grandfather to do this.” His tone oozing with irritation and it makes you confused because, at this time, he seems like putting all the blame on you even though you don’t know the real things. And you are also the victim of this situation.

“Are you accusing me of the things that I never did?” You faked a laugh because you can’t believe his accusation towards you and quickly your brain processing to find ideas to reply him.

“I never knew you have a fiancée and you never told me before. If I knew, I would stop all of this.”

“Bullshit!” He yelled as he stifled a groan before standing up from his position and running his fingers through his hairs.

“You lied.” He simply accused you and it makes your eagerness to defend yourself increasing.

“No, I never lied and you know that. You know me for a long time and I won’t lie to you regarding this matter.” You pointed out yet he does an annoyed face as if he couldn’t believe every word that came out from your mouth.

“I know you too long and I know you willing to do this.”

You let out a long sigh as you felt like it is unfair towards you for him to think like that about you. You vaguely shook your head to deny his words.

“I love you, Taehyung but I won’t ruin your happiness only for my love towards you.”

He keeps quiet for a while and his eyebrow arched as he started to arrange his words. “Okay if that so, let’s divor-”

You felt panic after your ears caught the words that you really don’t want to hear at this current of time. You strode towards him to stop him from finishing his words.

“Don’t say that. You know how much I love you. I have dreamed this for a long time and even though it doesn’t turn out to be as what I had been imagined for yet I’m very thankful. I felt so blessed for being your wife even it is one-sided but I want to feel being your wife, being a wife to a man that I love so much.”

“Are you being ridiculous? You are going to worsen the situation and Mijoo would believe that I purposely marrying you today! I want to rectify the situation so it will be easier for me to be with Mijoo and it will be faster for me to separate with you!” He snapped his anger as he felt frustrated with the situation that happened now and it makes Mijoo to left him and furthermore hating him.

His forehead furrowed after hearing your confession and the sincerity can be felt from the words that came out of your lips. All his accusation towards you suddenly being replaced by confusion because it seems like you aren’t involved in this matter.

It seems like you and he was trapped and framed into this marriage.

“Give me 100 days.” You added. His eyebrow creased and it shows that he confused with your words as he tilted his head to the side, questioningly.

“100 days to be your wife and after that, you can let me go. I won’t demand my rights as a wife towards you and if after 100 days, I’m still a bride who hasn’t had her first night, I don’t care and I really don’t mind. Just give me a chance, for once.” You trailed off and still thinking about this agreement whether it would benefits either you or him or this would be the best for both of you.

Yet, Taehyung just keeps himself quiet because he still surprised by your request.

After you pause for a momentarily, you finally continued your sentence back as you finally made up your mind.

“Just let me be your bride for 100 days, please”

◇ author notes : this drabble is inspired by one of my fav drama i my country and i got so attracted to it and decided why not write out a drabble inspired by the drama? anyways, thanks for supporting my works by reading, giving feedback, and many more. i really appreciate it ^^ love liz, xoxo

#bts angst #bts scenarios #taehyung angst #taehyung scenarios #networkbangtan #hwtsily

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kiwi-buns · 6 years

Text

Good Girl (M)

Baekhyun’s Pet Masterlist

Summary: After all, despite him being my sugar daddy, and me having to be there when he needs me, sometimes I wanted him to be there for me because he wanted to, not when it was convenient.

Genre (Rating): Fluff (M)

Length: 8.2k

It was about four in the afternoon, at least an hour and a half away from the time Baekhyun would be arriving home. Class was canceled, so I was at home all day, and there was nothing left for me to do. That was until I decided to create a fun project, or rather—mission for myself.

Before Baekhyun starts to get busy again, I thought of something that would say: inspire him to clear his schedule for me. After all, despite him being my sugar daddy, and me having to be there when he needs me, sometimes I wanted him to be there for me because he wanted to, not when it was convenient.

Now, back to this mission. Baekhyun had told me once that he liked a girl who was able to try many new things in this 'relationship,' such as being adventurous. I didn't understand what he meant, so I asked him to explain.

"Hmm, I don't know, just when you kind of do more than just expose your body in ways that you wouldn't in public. Or when you dress in your simple outfits."

"You don't like it when I dress simple, Daddy?"

"I didn't say—"

"You kinda did!"

"Woah, hey. I think simple is sexy, baby."

I chuckled mishieviously at the remembrance of when I teased Baekhyun, because he was so easily triggered. He didn't get genuinely mad or physical. His cheeks just flared a bright shade of pink, and that rarely happened. It only happens when I charm him or tease him. He's a grown man, but he needs that childish attitude thrown at him from time to time to maintain that youthful side of him—which I didn't assume was a notion until he actually told me so. Then, I made sure I teased him even more until he was commanding me to stop before I got punished.

"Anyway, you know how Daddy likes when you act really cute, right?"

"Cute? I don't act cute, I am cute!"

"If this, what you're doing, pouting and shouting at me is what you call cute, I would like to inform you that it's actually called being bratty. And yes, my mistake. Of course, you are cute, you know what I meant."

"Mm-hmm."

"Anyway, it's childish," he paused for a moment before he spoke the next words in a more quiet tone of voice, "but I sometimes imagine you dressed up like my little kitty." His tone was serious, so I refrained from laughing. That was until he started laughing to clear the awkward silence, and it was quite hysterical.

I didn't ask him anymore questions after that, because he quickly changed the subject while scrolling through products on the screen of his laptop. He asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner, and I quickly forgot about it until now, when I was home alone with nothing to do, that it crossed my mind again. Now, I've created this master plan to try and impress Baekhyun. I asked his personal assistant to deliver the items I ordered to the front door.

I heard a knock on the door and smiled, because I already knew who it was. I quickly skipped over to the door and swung it open, seeing that Baekhyun's assistant was holding two large bags in his hands.

"Thank you, Mister!" I grabbed the bags from him, and as usual, he let out a soft chuckle when I somewhat rudely but unknowingly kicked the door closed once he was in the clear from getting smashed by it. I was just so excited to open the bags and reveal the contents of my master plan to step-by-step earn more of my daddy's attention.

I didn't feel the need to go extra expensive with the items, because after all, there's many places where you can snag a kitty costume from. I just looked up a store that was close by, sent a memo to Baekhyun's assistant, and had him deliver the listed items to the front door.

I danced over to the couch and bit my lip as I plopped down on the soft cushions with the bags looped around my fingers. I peeled them open and eyed the contents inside, dipping my hand in to lift a slightly hard object, and it had sharp ends that poked at my fingers a little. I lifted it out with my finger and stared at the headband, revealing two edge-rounded and triangular shapes sitting atop of it. Kitten ears. I believe I made a good choice after I can now see it in person. I took at least thirty minutes deciding between actual kitty ears or the ears themselves being made out of nothing but lace. I decided to choose the lace, because it was much more sexier.

I smiled and set the headband down beside me before digging into the bags again to pull out a lace bodice with a pair of garters attached to a hanger separate from it. The bodice had two pieces as well, but it seems that it was designed in a way to appear as one. The texture was smooth, and it had a somewhat silky feel when I pinched the fabric in between my fingers. A side of my lips itched upward. I was kind of nervous as to how exactly this would look on me. I knew my perfect size, but really, was I going to look right in this? I guess I'll have to find out myself.

I set the items down beside me and dug into the bag again, pulling out last but not least, a tail. I squealed and squeezed the long squishy object in my hand. I stroked my hand along it to feel the softness of it, and I even rubbed it on my cheek to see how it felt up against my skin there. My dirty mind got the best of me, and I felt heat rising to my cheeks at my own greasy thoughts, causing me to stop kneading the tail and set it down beside me.

The last thing left was a collar and a bag full of makeup. I decided to buy neutral colors that would match with my costume, but also let my expression stick out to make myself look like a kitty. I thought of adding whiskers, but sometimes that can be too much. And what if Baekhyun turns into his puppyish self, erupting with licks and kisses before whimpering at the taste of a full face of makeup. No way. I'll keep it simple this time, because if Baekhyun really likes to see me dressed up as a kitty, things are going to get extremely spicy, and I can't risk anything—such as undeniable turn-offs.

I rose from the couch and threw away the plastic bags that I didn't need and went into our bedroom to change into my costume. After struggling to pull up certain tight ends on the outfit, I finally was able to stand up comfortably and look into the mirror at myself. I twirled my body around as I perked my ass up and arched my back while on my tippy toes to get a view of my ass in the reflecting glass. I gaped at myself and looked into my own eyes, shocked at how the lace seemed to hug—as well as expose my skin in ways more greater than expected.

I snapped out of my self-ogling upon realizing that Baekhyun was going to be home soon. I decided not to wear the tail because I didn't feel the need to add it if I already loved the way the outfit looked on me. It would feel like too much, and it was kind of heavy too.

I'm sure Baekhyun wouldn't mind.

I applied some glistening lipstick to my lips and winged my eyes with eyeliner, not too thick or too thin, and then I smoothed my baby hairs, curled my hair neatly, and wore my headdress. I snapped the collar around my neck. It was light, more like a choker, and easily removed with a small key that would be in Baekhyun's possession when he arrived home.

I tapped my upper lip just a little to smear more of the lipstick onto every inch of my mouth. Then, I placed my hand on my hip and posed in the mirror, once again scanning my body.

My smirk faded, because I couldn't help but realize how funny I looked. Did Baekhyun really like these kinds of things, or was he really just joking?

He's a grown man. I had to believe that he was definitely not going to like this. I wouldn't know. I've never been someone's baby girl before. Maybe a simple lace set would have done me more justice, because right now, I felt a little foolish in the mirror. Baekhyun did laugh about the thought of me being his little kitty, maybe because it was just a joke, and he did brush it off fairly quickly. I couldn't sense any nervousness in his gaze when he changed the subject, indicating it didn't really mean that much to him. Ugh, why did I even bother?

I turned off the bathroom light and stomped back into the living room, turning on the TV with a huge pout on my lips. My anger faded when I watched a few cartoons and K-Dramas.

I unconsciously fiddled with my outfit, rubbing the fabric in between my fingers before realizing that I was still wearing it! Baekhyun could be home any minute now.

I launched off the couch upon hearing a click and the front door open, grabbing a pillow to cover the exposed—or rather thin, lace-clad parts of my body. The pillow was only so big, so it didn't cover much. I tried to make my way out of the living room and toward the hallway until—

"Cupcake, I'm home!" Baekhyun chirped upon his entrance through the door. He tossed his keys somewhere on the kitchen island, took off his jacket, and started unbuttoning his dress shirt while kicking off his shoes.

I immediately stood frozen as I watched him undress.

He paused his movements when his eyes travelled across the room and landed on me, seeing that I was standing there unmoving. I stared back at him silently, and I slowly took small steps side-by-side so that I could dash into the master bedroom to change into normal clothes and wipe off my makeup. The minute he arrived, I regretted my choice of clothing, or rather my lack of clothing.

He frowned at my silence. Usually, I would run up and bear hug him around the waist, and he'd give me affectionate kisses on the crown of my head and massage my bum, but I was currently a few feet away from him and basically ignoring him.

He quirked a brow at my weird behavior, and I watched as his pink and glistening tongue slid over lips to moisture and redden them. He held his bottom lip in between his teeth once his eyes travelled lower from my eyes and raked over my body, scanning the parts of my outfit that I failed to cover with the small pillow that I hugged to myself. I don't know why I attempted to hide. The cat ears above my head clearly indicated what exactly I was wearing, but I still timidly denied and hid behind the pillow.

He looked back into my eyes and spoke.

"What are you wearing?" He asked, trying to tilt his head to the side to see more of me, but I kept myself covered and continued taking steps closer to the hallway to get to the bedroom.

"N-Nothing," I stammered in a somewhat guilty, high-pitched, and not-at-all convincing tone of voice as I slowly and gradually grew farther from him. His eyes narrowed, and his posture broadened in a way that I would take as intimidation as he watched me attempting to circle the large room.

I could see his hands twitching at his sides and his jaw clenched while staring me down. I couldn't deny how much this rigid aura of his kind of turned me on.

He moved, barely even taking a step as if he was hesitating to do so. Although it wasn't as nearly as efficient, I still flinched at that small, single motion and tried to move quicker.

He paused again.

"Where are you going?" He questioned with a quirked brow and a now more obvious, heated frown on his face. I whimpered inwardly at the sight and pursed my lips, feeling heat rising to my face underneath his scrutinizing gaze.

"U-Uh, just going to change." I pursed my lips again. "How was work?" I asked, trying to divert his attention elsewhere by changing the subject.

"Put the pillow down, love." He spoke softly, clearly not falling for anything I was playing at. Then, he started taking a few more steps closer.

I shook my head timidly and kept it held to my body.

I could hear him sigh out of defeat as he looked toward an empty space across the room. He lifted his hand up to his face to pinch of the bridge of his nose, and I felt relief that he didn't pressure me this time.

I watched him closely. The silence between us in this spacious living room grew quiet and stretched for at least longer than a minute.

Suddenly, his eyes shot back over to me with a drop of his hand, and I was met with his piercing gaze.

He unsuspectantly dashed behind the couch to advance toward me like a predator ravening after his prey.

I screamed and ran toward our bedroom, but he was faster and stood in front of the hallway, blocking the way. Without thinking, I threw the pillow at him to distract him as I ran back over to the couch, but he caught it and tossed it away, continuing his chase after me.

"Come here!"

"Daddy, no!"

"Let me see you!"

"No!"

He chased me around the couch and we both stumbled, flinched, and jutted back and forth at each end of it because I was trying to find the perfect time to run for it, and he was trying to pursue and catch me before I could.

We circled the couch for the twentieth time, challenging each other, and I was quickly losing my energy.

"Baby, just come here. I'm too tired to keep chasing after you." Baekhyun sighed, his chest heaving up and down.

"Mm-mm." I stubbornly shook my head. The only sounds were our heavy breathing and the air conditioner blowing throughout the penthouse.

I looked behind me to see the tall windows of the living room showing the clear landscape of the surrounding skyscrapers and buildings, realizing that I was cornered—unless I wanted to jump out of the window into a helicopter to escape him.

Baekhyun smirked darkly when he took notice of my situation. I let out a low, frustrated whine as I stared at him with pleading eyes. His expression remained blank except for the hint of lust ingrained in his dark-brown globes.

I pointed toward the kitchen, "fire!" and attempted to make a run for it past him. Baekhyun wasn't so easily distracted. His head only twisted around for a split second until he saw me dashing from his peripheral. He advanced toward me and grabbed me by the waist just as I was about to make it to the hallway, and he squeezed me in his arms, carrying me back over to the couch. I squirmed in his grasp, struggling to break free from his strong muscles hugging around me.

He twirled me around to face him, and his fingers dug into my sides, causing me to yelp out in laughter. He grunted and lost his balance, and we both fell down on the couch together. My lower body was trapped underneath his weight while both of his hands were planted on each side of my waist, and his hips were pressing right on top of mine. I cried out at his heaviness resting on top of me.

"Daddy, stop! Please!" I covered my face with my hands, feeling that same heat—but multiplied, flowing to my cheeks. And I knew my half-dressed, kitty costumed body was on full display in front of him when I felt him shift his weight onto one of his hands so that he lifted up more and got a better view of me below him.

"Why should I stop, huh?" He spoke humorously as his eyes feasted upon me, practically undressing me with them. "You're walking around like this and expect me not to take it as if you are provoking me? You were basically asking for it, doll. What's the meaning of this?" He reached his hand up in between us to squeeze my breast, and I yelped.

"Daddy, I'm embarrassed!" I whined. He stopped moving and his body became motionless in between my legs. I moved my fingers out of the way of my eyes to get a peek at his reaction, and I saw his brows furrowing and his smile fading, staring right into my own eyes, so I covered them again.

"What? Why are you embarrassed?" He asked, now sounding confused with my timidness.

He realized that I wasn't going to respond, because I didn't want to admit how embarrassed I was in this attire.

"Hey, hey." He reached one of his hands up to caress my hair, and then he grabbed my wrist to try and peel my hands away, but I whimpered and refused to let him. Even though he was strong enough to do anything he wanted to me, he knew that I didn't like it when he went against my smallest of wishes and overpowered me too much. He sighed.

"Princess..." He spoke affectionately, now with my tenderness than he had minutes ago. I remained hidden behind my hands yet listening to that hypnotizing tone of his voice. "Look at me."

I hesitated before I uncovered my eyes and swallowed, looking up into his as he hovered over me.

"You know that Daddy never means to make you feel embarrassed, right?" He asked with now an immense amount of tenderness n his voice.

I could see his pretty brown eyes glistening darkly as he raked them over my body before his gaze shifted back to look me directly in the eyes again. I nodded softly.

"I love your pretty face, your smooth skin and lips, your body..." He stretched his words slowly and in a sultry-like sing-song manner that I felt like my insides were melting along with my heatened up face and ears.

He continued, "Hell, I've seen and loved everything, why in God's name are you hiding it from me?"

"B-Because," I said hesitantly, though I hadn't exactly thought up a logical reason yet. He'll just have to understand that I'm not very rational at times. "I don't know!" I said with a whine and pouted, covering my face with my hands again. "I—I have never done this before. And I didn't want you to not like it," I finally admitted, shrinking down more into the cushiony sofa.

"After months of being together and seeing each other at some of our worst times, you are still so insecure with me." What he said sounds about right, so I kept quiet.

"Is it because Daddy hasn't made time to play with you?" He asked, seeming to understand that this act of mine was an effort to grab his attention, which it did.

I nodded, and I could feel the vibrations of his soft laughter bubbling against me after my response.

"Kitten, I would never not like anything you do. You look so fucking adorable. And gosh, you're so goddamned stubborn, you know that?"

"No, I'm not!" I said childishly and jutted my body upward only to be pushed back down into the soft pillows below me. I couldn't help but feel warmth rushing to my cheeks at him calling me "adorable."

I reached my hands up to push at Baekhyun's chest, which earned me a scolding "yah!" He grabbed my wrists and held them in place until I calmed down. I stilled my actions and glared at him until he bit back a smile and let go of my wrists. I instinctly covered myself with my hands, and that made him frown when his perfect view of my perking breasts underneath the thin layer of my lace top were covered.

He hissed out, "Yah, are you trying to tease me?" I shook my head quickly to deny his claim. I wasn't sure how I looked in this silly costume lying underneath him, but the look on his face seemed to display a much different reaction to it than I had expected.

"Why would you think I'm trying to tease you, Daddy?" I asked curiously, and Baekhyun licked his lips before responding.

"Because doll, you've just fulfilled one of my wildest fantasies, and now you're trying to hide it from me!"

I gaped at his exclamation, finally realizing that he didn't think of this as a joke at all. Baekhyun was so, so into me being dressed in kitty costumes, flaunting my assets in front of his very eyes like he was in a dream. In all honesty, I was still too shy to let him see me in this. Maybe I was a little less comfortable with this than he was.

He sighed. "I always take care of you, don't I?" His voice became lower, and that tone was all too familiar. I nodded. "And now, you're teasing me because I didn't pay you any attention for the past week?"

I shook my head at him, frowning at his assumption. "No, no! I wasn't trying to tease you, I just wanted to do something you liked to—"

"To get my attention."

I nodded hesitantly as I stared up into Baekhyun's eyes.

"So you made yourself uncomfortable by dressing up as a kitty. And even though you don't like it, you think Daddy will like it, so you don't care about your own feelings. Am I right?"

"No—" I paused my words upon seeing his intense stare on me.

"Don't lie to me, doll." Baekhyun tilted his head at me and awaited my truthful response.

I sighed and nodded.

Baekhyun's face drooped into a frown even more as if he was expecting the opposite answer, and that made me feel bad.

"Baby, if it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do it. Even if it makes Daddy very happy. I won't let you feel embarrassed. I told you this many times before when we discussed our rules, but you never listen."

I pouted and looked away from Baekhyun's eyes, feeling mine become a little watery. I just wanted to do something that would convince him to pay more attention to me, but it seems like he can read behind every one of my attempts and give me a lecture instead. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

I pouted and turned my head to look to the side. I could feel Baekhyun's eyes on me for a moment longer before he sighed.

"It's okay, baby girl." He gave me a soft and reassuring peck on the cheek before lifting himself off of me. "Go change. I'll order us some takeout." He sat up on the couch and grabbed the remote as he dug his other hand in his front pocket to fish out his phone.

I sat up and looked at him to see his bottom lip jutting out as his eyes were glued to the bright screen of his phone and were no longer on me. So much for trying to gain more of his attention.

I huffed and got off the couch and headed straight for the bedroom. I went into the closet and grabbed Baekhyun's striped dress-shirt and walked to the bathroom while unstrapping my collar.

I turned on the light and paused as I stared back at my reflection in the mirror. I perked my posture once more to get a better view of myself, and I tilted my head and stared blankly for a moment. This wasn't as bad as I thought. Why did I feel so embarrassed? Is it because I didn't have a mirror in front of me to tell me what I looked like in that moment? Baekhyun was the only thing I needed to tell me that, but I only made him upset. He must think that I'm not capable of swimming into this fetish pool of his. He must have forgotten, my zodiac literally enables me with the ability to try new things.

I decided to take things on a little differently. And that meant disobeying Baekhyun's orders.

"Yes, just two will be fine." I heard Baekhyun's voice while he spoke to someone over the phone which I assumed was where he was ordering our food from.

"Daddy," I called out to him as I approached the couch.

Baekhyun twisted his head around. He scrunched his brows upon not seeing me at first glance, but then his head twirled back around to the side of the couch where he saw me crawling over to him. Baekhyun's eyes widened when he saw me still tightly embraced within the fabric of my outfit and the kitty ears still sitting perfectly on top of my head. I watched him quickly roll his tongue over his drooping bottom lip as the darkness in his eyes increased.

"I thought I told you to go change," he said as he held the phone away from his ear, though I was also able to detect the uneasiness within his tone.

"I decided not to, Daddy." I crawled closer until I was in front of his legs, and I sat up on my knees with my hands planted at my sides as I stared up at him through fluttering lashes.

"So you're not listening now?" He asked with lifted brows, and the darkness filling his eyes had gotten even more intense. The only thing holding him back was the phone call he still had to tend to. I nodded brightly at him which made him huff amusingly and shake his head, shooting me a glare that indicated I was in big, big trouble after he was finished with the call. So, I figured, why not provoke him even more?

I ran my hands along his thighs. He reacted by spreading them wider so that I could fit in between, continuing to work my ministrations in rough and gentle kneads. I bit my lip and tilted my head at him, taunting him with my expression as I heard a low and controlled groan exert from the back of his throat when my hands got higher. I massaged his upper thighs, untensing the muscles which I assume needed lots of care because of the several hours he spent at work.

"Mhm." He responded to the person on the other end of the call with his lips pursed and responses short. "Thank you." He huffed a relieved breath once he ended the call, and his eyes travelled to me quickly after he tossed his cell-phone somewhere on the couch. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing," I said with a small smile as I scooted closer with the provocative glare still lacing my features.

"And you're still wearing..."

"Mm-hmm, I think I like it after all, Daddy."

Baekhyun's eyes squinted, and he continued to scrutinize me doubtfully. I had to assure him that I was comfortable and no longer embarrassed.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better. It's not working, kitten."

"Oh, it's not?" I scrunched my brows mockingly as I tilted my head again and slid my hands up higher. That made Baekhyun shift in his seated position, sitting up higher so that my hands would slide to a more appropiate space along his thighs. I smirked and huffed amusingly with pursed lips, realizing that he was definitely affected. Instead of keeping my hands where they had fallen, I slid them up higher again and I squeezed Baekhyun's thighs, finding the both firm and softness of them tranquilizing. A shade of pink stained his cheeks for a short moment before it faded away and was replaced with a brooding darkness that made me cower inwardly.

"You want to play?" He asked with newfound energy radiating off his figure and making me blink up nervously at him. I hesitantly nodded, this side once again being an off-guard thing for me to experience with Baekhyun.

"Stand up, kitten." I quickly complied and released my grip on his thighs to stand in front of him. He looked up into my eyes darkly as he sat back comfortably to get a full view of me before him. I watched as his eyes travelled lower. He made sure to take his time with ogling at my body, tightly clad in this sexy outfit that made his features inflame by the second. "Turn around," he commanded with a small hand gesture, and I licked my lips out of nervous habit and twirled around.

Before I knew it, two large hands found each side of my hips, and I was pulled flush into Baekhyun's chest with my ass coming in direct contact with his crotch. I gasped out when I felt his hardness seeping through the slack layer of his pants. I could feel Baekhyun's breath blowing softly against my neck and increasing in pants whenever I accidently fidgeted against him.

"Mmm, you have no idea what you do to me, baby girl." His voice had more bass than usual, and it caused me to whimper against him. I felt a rolling heat burning throughout my body and slipping down to my core, and I began to slowly move my hips as if I couldn't help it. That made Baekhyun moan into my ear and slide his hands toward my front to spread my legs wider above his. He trickled his fingers to my inner thighs and pinched the flesh with rough and heated touches. Then, his hands came back up to grope my breasts with his tongue now rolling over the skin of my neck.

"You look so fucking cute and sexy at the same time." He spoke in a half-whisper, leaning his head to the side to kiss me softly. I felt his warm lips feathering against my neck, making the skin there feel moist and my senses tingled at the contact once his teeth collided with my flesh. I stretched my neck as the back of my head rested on his shoulder, and he appetized himself, sucking hard on that sensitive spot just below my jawline, leaving a deep-rooted bruise against it.

"D-Daddy," I whimpered against him with my ass still rubbing against his crotch. Baekhyun groaned with his lips still attached to my neck, and his hands travelled from my breasts to my hips to stop them from moving.

"Slow down, baby, before you make Daddy cum in his pants."

I giggled breathlessly, "S-Sorry, daddy," though my hips continued to move. I wiggled my ass over his crotch more roughly which caused a low and airy grown to enter my ear. Baekhyun tightened his grip on my waist, and I could feel his stomach heaving up and down against my back with each stroke of my ass against the throbbing junior in his pants.

"Fuck, you're having a hard time listening to me today, hmm?" Baekhyun growled as his fingers dug into my sides. "Do you want Daddy to fuck you? Is that it?"

I bit my lip and nodded my head against him. "Use your words, kitten."

"Y-Yes."

"What was that?" Baekhyun leaned into me, and I shivered upon feeling his soft breath fanning on my cheek.

"Yes, Daddy."

"Hmm, I don't know... You don't sound like you want it that bad—"

"Daddy, please! Yes, yes, I want you to fuck me!"

Baekhyun chuckled darkly into my ear and jerked his hips upward, and my mouth fell agape when I felt his hard member bumping directly into my clothed womanhood.

"Stand up," he commanded. I quickly stood up, because taking my time would mean it would take longer for Baekhyun to rid of both of our clothes and for him to fuck me. I turned around to face him, quickly working my hands on the ties of my bodice, but Baekhyun held his hand up to stop me. I paused my movements and widened my eyes at him.

"Wanna be a good kitty for Daddy?" He asked, that same dark expression that made my insides twirl with heat and many other things along the lines of lust and thirst. I nodded at him with a large swallow, my demeanor displaying that I was more than willing to do anything that he wanted.

"Dance for me. And undress while you do it." He wiggled a small remote in his hand, pressing his finger into a button that switched on some music. I looked back at the stereo and then back to Baekhyun with heat rushing to my face.

"But Daddy," I whined, "I can't dance..."

Baekhyun smiled darkly at me and shook his head, denying my claim.

"I've seen you dance. Let's not forget the first night that I took you out," he reminded me of the time we went on a date to a club. We danced all night, and Baekhyun seemed to be so mesmerized by my moves.

"Remember?" He asked with a small smirk on his face when he noticed the side of my lips tugging upward. "Come on, baby. Don't be shy. Daddy just wants a little show," he said with a lick and bite of his bottom lip. Millions of words could not explain how much that turned me on. "Do the same things you did that night."

"What, like this?" I slid down into a squatting position and placed my hands on my knees, swaying my hips side to side to the rhythm of the music before bringing myself up slowly and running my hands along my hips.

Baekhyun shifted in his seat and watched silently, nodding shortly with his bottom lip held in between his teeth.

I grinned and twirled around with my hands running down my legs until I reached my ankles and bent down with my ass in the air. I could see Baekhyun's eyes, unblinking and watching so intently at my spreaded legs in front of him. Next, my hands were attached to the lace holding my fit together. I held it in between my fingers as I slowly pulled it until it was completely loose. I stood up and turned back around to face Baekhyun and saw that his dilating eyes travelled from my ass to the split of my outfit to see the exposed skin underneath.

I softly grazed my fingers along the opening and teasingly pulled it open, but not quite. Baekhyun released his bottom lip from his teeth and looked up into my eyes expectantly. I quirked a taunting brow at him and stepped closer until I was in between his legs. I bent over and firmly planted my hands on his thighs, massaging them because I knew it would make him even more aroused. Baekhyun eyes closed out of pleasure for a split second before he opened them again, landing them directly on my exposed cleavage.

I crawled onto his lap, and his hands found my waist to help me remain steadied. His hands slid underneath the floating fabric of my top and around to my ass, pinching and kneading the flesh so passionately in between his smooth, long fingers.

I grinded my hips against his, and Baekhyun removed his hands from my ass to finish pulling at the lace of my top until it was no longer on my body. I was now topless with my breasts being held in Baekhyun's soft hands as he massaged the mounds and looked into my eyes before taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I moaned and tossed my head back, still moving my hips against him and matching the rhythm of the sensual music playing in the background.

He groaned against my skin and wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me back toward him after I arched my back.

He released my nipple from his mouth and slid his hand to the back of my neck to hold me steady as he quickly slid the other to pull the crotch of my panties to the side.

"So wet." His fingers grazed my slit lightly, causing me to mewl before he teased a digit at my entrance.

"Daddy..." I moaned as my head attempted to fall onto his shoulder, but his grip on the back of my neck was so firm that I couldn't. He did this so that he could watch my face contort into pleasure as he slid his finger deeper inside of me. I squeezed my eyes shut and moaned his name through heavy breaths. He added another finger to my hole and started pumping his fingers in and out with an increase in his speed at the most perfect rhythm.

I felt like I was going to come with each thrust of his fingers pushing in and out of my contracting walls.

Suddenly, his fingers left my heat, and I moaned out louder at the teasing.

Baekhyun's hold on my neck tightened as he pushed me down onto the sofa beside him, now maneuvering himself in between my legs as he swiftly slid his shirt off his body. His hands began working quickly on the belt buckle of his pants. I bit my lip and grabbed at the hem of my panties to slide them down, watching Baekhyun's expression darken immensely at the wetness pooling at my entrance and waiting desperate to be met with his throbbing cock inside of it.

He helped me slide my panties off, tossing them somewhere in the living room. I rested my head on the arm of the chair and watched as Baekhyun grabbed his hardness in his hand and inched himself closer. I replaced his hand with mine and began stroking him passionately. Baekhyun moaned and his head dropped, hair dangling in front of me as he watch my hand move up and down along his shaft, milking precum from the tip with ease using my thumb before I brought his head to my entrance.

Baekhyun's eyes stayed glued between us as he watched me pull him inside. He pushed his hips forward to assist in sheathing his entire length inside of me, earning a squeal followed by a moan to exert from my lips.

Baekhyun let out a moan as he dropped his head into my neck with one of his hands sliding to the back of my neck again to hold onto my hair and pull my head back so that he had as much access as he needed to slide his tongue along my skin. "Aaah..." he hissed out into my ear as he pulled his hips back and thrusted back inside of me. I tightened my legs around his waist at the immediate friction, but Baekhyun grabbed my leg with his other hand and lifted it above his hip, pressing it against the couch so that I wouldn't wrap my legs around him. He proceeded with his light thrusts, getting rougher in intervals as soft groans floated from his lips and into my ear.

"D-Daddy... Baekhyun..." I breathed heavily with my eyes squeezed shut when I felt his tip bump into my g-spot, causing my hips to jolt upward only to earn another deep thrust of his cock to keep himself inside.

Baekhyun kept his hand hooked at the back of my knee. This gave him the opportunity to sharply piston his hips into my spreaded womanhood, causing my body to slide up the couch. He gave another deep thrust until his cock was far deeper inside than before. I felt Baekhyun's hips stuttering as he continued to thrust in and out of my wetness, and I clenched my walls around his throbbing length. He moaned loudly and began thrusting even harder, chasing his release as he felt his dick being milked by the suction of my tight walls taking it in such a welcoming manner.

He sweetly whispered his warning into my ear before he finally sped up his pace, and I clenched myself around him even harder when I felt heat rushing down to my center and my insides twirling to indicate that my body was quickly reaching its climax. Baekhyun groaned at my contracting walls and lifted himself up on strong legs to snap his hips into mine.

I attempted to wrap my legs around his waist when I came, but he let go of my neck and grabbed both of my legs with his hands hooked underneath the backs of my knees as he lifted them higher until my knees were almost touching my shoulders.

He reached to rub his thumb against my throbbing clit, edging me on as loud moans escaped my mouth through stifled breaths. The wet sounds of his cock slipping in and out of my wetness was like music to my ears.

His thumb continued to play with my clit, rubbing faster and harder, causing my insides to spin wildly.

"Is this what you wanted? You like when Daddy fucks you like this?" He asked in a bold tone before he gave another rough thrust down into my wetness, and I tried to find the perfect gust of air in my throat to respond, but the look in his eyes was driving me crazy, and the way he was slamming his hips down into mine cut off my ability to think straight.

"Y-Yes, Daddy!"

I looked up at him through hooded lids and saw his darkening stare remain intently on our connected parts as he watched himself push deeper inside of me. My legs began to tremble around his waist, and I had no strength to tighten them when my climax was about to arrive.

I moaned out loudly when his cock positioned perfectly and his tip dug right into my g-spot, launching my climax into overdrive. And before I knew it, I was cumming again. His hips were slapping into mine as he continued pushing harder. He bit his lip and watched me once again unravel beneath his sweaty body, his thickness pushing harder and faster to overstimulate my orgasm.

Baekhyun and I's moans filled the room, overreaching the music playing as his rapid thrusts got slower but remained thorough, and I felt his body drop down on top of mine with a release of my legs. I tightened my shaking legs around his waist and clenched my pussy around his twitching shaft as hard as I could which earned a low groan to blow against my neck along with his teeth digging into my skin. I winced and clenched myself around him again.

With a few more sharp and lengthy thrusts, I felt Baekhyun's hot cum filling me and coating my insides in the sticky moisture.

Our movements came to a stand-still, and I groaned at Baekhyun's weight on top of me. He dug his hand underneath me and wrapped his arm around my waist to twirl us around until I was lying on top of his chest with his cock still buried deep inside of me. I could feel the warm liquid slid past my folds and down onto his shaft, and I continued to clench around his spent member to milk the rest of what's left inside of him out.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and both of our heads shot up to look at it. Baekhyun groaned and reached behind me to grip my ass cheeks in his large palms.

He tapped my bum softly. "That's our food, come on, up up." I attempted to lift my weak legs off him, mewling at the feeling of his cock leaving my walls along with the mixture of our sexual fluids sliding from inside of me. Baekhyun sat up with me in his lap and grabbed my chin to give me a quick kiss on the lips before helping me shift off of him. "Good girl."

He pulled his pants up and ruffled his hair as he approached the front door to open it.

"Ah, thank you," he said to whoever delivered the food and the front door was closed again. I sat up slowly as Baekhyun approached the couch and sat down beside me with bags of food placed on the coffee table in front. He grabbed the stereo's remote and turned off the music, replacing it with the increasing volume of television as he switched on something to watch.

He turned his head and eyed my weakened stature and smirked at me with an unreadable expression to complement it before he started pulling out small plastic containers with food inside of them.

"Come on, kitten." He tapped a spot beside him, and I scooted closer and laid my head on his shoulder as he peeled the lids off the containers with chopsticks in his hand.

He dug the utensil into a container of noodles and tasted it before he held it in front of my lips. I opened my mouth and welcomed the warm food, chewing and swallowing as Baekhyun watched me closely. He made sure to give me a bite every other time that he took one.

I watched the TV silently, but I couldn't help but notice that there were a set of eyes constantly on me. I turned my head a little to see Baekhyun holding up a piece of chicken in between his chopsticks, and I licked my lips before leaning forward to take it, but he pulled the food back.

I gave him a betrayed look, and he chuckled softly at me. "Here," he said as he opened his mouth to make me do the same and I took the piece of chicken into my mouth.

I could still feel him staring at me, and it made heat rush to my face. I got fed up with it because he would miss all of the good parts on the TV show because he was too busy staring at me. I quickly turned my head to look at him which made his eyes widen.

"Daddy, what?" I asked, looking up at him with a serious glare. He smiled and reached up to pinch my cheek.

"You just look really hot. All fucked out but still wearing those cute kitten ears." His words were sinful, but the smile on his face was so innocent that I couldn't even get mad about it. My cheeks felt warm and I quickly turned my head back to the TV, causing Baekhyun to chuckle lightly at me before continuing to munch of his food.

After a while, I got too full to eat anymore, so I laid down on the couch with my head resting on Baekhyun's lap. He had his feet crossed and up on top of the coffee table with his back resting comfortably on the back of the chair. This has been the most relaxed we have ever been together when he came home. I snuggled up into him more and smiled to myself at my Daddy's warmth. Baekhyun rested his hand on my upper back while his other hand continued to eat food.

We were like this: watching TV and giggling from time to time, teasing each other during scary parts, and much more before the exhaustion from earlier finally washed over us and we both fell asleep sprawled out on the couch.

It was only a few hours until I felt Baekhyun lifting me off the couch to carry me into our bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and cleaned me off with a damp rag and pat me dry with a towel before helping me wear something more comfortable to sleep in.

I said his name, and he hummed softly in response as he crawled into bed and pulled the blankets over the both of us before bringing himself closer to me to wrap his arm around my waist so that there was no space in between us. I was barely awake, but I whispered something that made Baekhyun's body tense up beside me, and his grip around my waist loosened.

I didn't care much for it because I was too drowsy to notice, and then I fell back asleep.

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wine-anon · 6 years

Note

Is it okay if I ask fora JoJo x reader fic??? Because, like, I love him and there just aren’t enough fics about him and honestly he’s just so under appreciated???

a/n: Okay so this took me ages to write because it deleted itself and then I had to re-write it and then I didn’t like it so I wrote it again. Yikes, anyway, I had this really cool idea after seeing the new Pacific Rim movie, I genuinely hope you like it! It’s a bit different to what I usually write, so tell me if you like it. I really, really hope you like it!!!

The Kaiju broke through the breach when you were only seven. You watched in horror as those monsters from storybooks and movies became real. The world changed that day, nothing was ever the same. When the Jaeger program was announced two years later, you knew in that moment that you would be a pilot one day. That’s all you wanted, you had to survive until you were old enough to pilot your very own Jaeger, no matter what it took.

In 2021, you were recruited by Stacker Pentecost into the PPD Cadet program. You were only sixteen at the time and drifting didn’t come easy, you couldn’t find the right co-pilot to drift with no matter how hard you tried. You found a temporary co-pilot that you could mostly drift with just before the UN began pulling funding from the program to build the coastal wall.

By 2025, at only 20, you were one of very few Jaeger pilots left, you were transferred to the Hong Kong Shatterdome. Not many were left open and after your last fight against a Kaiju, you were left with no co-pilot. Word went around that there were tryouts for two of the most renowned Jaeger pilots in recent history, so you took a leap of faith and signed up.

It was the morning of the tryouts, you had been running somewhat late and managed to run into someone in the halls.

“Oh, I am so sorry, sir,” you panicked at the man in front of you, “I wasn’t looking where I was going. I’m running late.”

“It’s okay,” his accent was rich, he was from New York, you guessed, “I’m running late too.”

“Where are you headed, er?”

“JoJo,” he smiled at you, he was gorgeous.

“Right, where are you headed, JoJo?” you looked at your watch at cursed silently.

“The pilot tryouts? I’ve never been here before, I got turned around.”

“Great, that’s where I’m headed,” you grabbed his wrist and led him down the halls towards the dojo.

You arrived but sadly lost him in the crowd of people watching Raleigh Becket fighting Mako Mori. You watched in amusement as she beat him easily but frowned when Pentecost said that they weren’t to drift under any circumstances.

“Right, now that’s done,” Pentecost’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, “we’re testing compatibility with the one and only, JoJo de la Guerra.”

Shit. It was him. The man from before. He was the one you were testing against.

“(y/l/n)!” your head snapped to Pentecost, “it’s your Jaeger. You’re up first.”

Shit.

“So, you think we’re actually drift compatible?”

“We’re about to find out, de la Guerra.”

“Oh please, just call me JoJo.”

“What ever you say, JoJo,” you smirked at him from the other side of your Jaeger, your baby, your pride and joy.

Cobalt Glory. She was one of the two Mark-3 Jaegers left in the world, she was launched by the British in 2017 and given to you five years later. The same year you graduated from Cadet to Ranger.

“What happened to you last co-pilot?” JoJo asked, his voice coming through the headset in your helmet.

“You’ll see in a second, you’ll be in my head remember?” you pushed some of the holo-buttons and set up your drift sequence. JoJo following your lead, “when was the last time you drifted?”

“Three years ago, in the Philippines,” you looked at him from across the space, his demeanour had shifted to a sad one. Whatever he was thinking was going to be in his head any minute now.

“At least you still look good in the flight suit,” you attempted to cheer him up, a small chuckle came through your headset and sent a shiver up your spine, there was something about him.

“I think I look great in this new style suit,” he grinned at you as the techs began to talk to you both.

“This is just a test drift, you’re not moving from this position, is that clear?” Pentecost’s voice broke through your headset, his voice commanding.

“You always have such a way with words, sir,” you joked at him.

“Watch the tongue, (y/l/n),” he chuckled at you, he always had a soft spot for you and you knew it.

“Drift sequence is ready, sir,” JoJo spoke clearly to the techs, he looked to you, “ready to get into this head of mine?”

“Let’s give them a show,” you winked at him, he winked back and your heart raced faster.

“Initiating Neural Handshake,” the robotic voice spoke to you both. Within a second every thought and memory JoJo ever had was passing through your head and yours through his. You tried to calm yourself at the influx of information and bad memories. You almost hooked onto one bad memory but quickly stabilised.

“Left hemisphere calibrated,” the voice broke through again.

“(y/l/n),” Pentecost called through the coms, “you’re stable but JoJo is way off. Bring him back.”

“Yes, sir,” you spoke firmly.

“It happens to all of us, but we got there in the end,” you reassured JoJo.

“I almost blew up the Shatterdome,” he sighed heavily, “it was too much.”

“Mako almost blew it up too. Don’t worry about it. The memory was too recent for you to get over it quickly,” you put a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at you, “we completed the neural handshake didn’t we?”

“I guess you’re right,” he looked into your eyes and your breath hitched, “ya’know I say some interesting things whilst I was in your head.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you panicked and got up from your seat on the floor. You quickly made your way down the hall.

“Oh come one, (y/n),” he called to you, “I know what you think about me.”

“Goodnight, de la Guerra!” you called back, your heart racing in your chest at the thought of him again.

You woke up to the Shatterdome alarm and your door being banged on. You pulled yourself from your bed and ran to open the door. JoJo stood on the other side his fist raised. That stupid smirk back on his face.

“You’ve got two minutes to be at Cobalt Glory’s hub.”

With that he grinned and walked off, leaving you stand in the doorway watching people run past you.

“Two minutes,” you sighed to yourself. He could have at least told you why, that boy and his stupid face. It was so beautiful, fuck.

You found yourself back in Cobalt Glory, hooked into her central hub and looked to see JoJo doing the same.

“So, someone going to tell me what we’re dealing with?” you called out to everyone who could hear you through the coms.

“We’ve got a double event,” Tendo’s voice broke through for the first time, “we lost Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon. Striker Eureka is powerless and we just sent out Gipsy Danger alone.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me this earlier!” you panicked at them all.

“Calm down, we’ve got this, we’re running flank for Gipsy okay?” JoJo’s calm voice caused your heart to race faster but calm down at the same time. You nodded at him and took a deep breath.

“You ready for this, JoJo?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he looked at you, “are you ready?”

“Let’s do this,” you looked forward, “Tendo? Initiate neural handshake.”

“Neural handshake initiated.”

You were back in his head, this time his memories had you in them, they were focused on you. Your heart raced as the drift was completed successfully. There you both stood, the first fully successful drift between the two of you.

“You okay, (y/n)?” you nodded at him, you couldn’t look at him, he was so gorgeous you’d get distracted, “stop thinking about me like that, you’ll make me blush.”

“Shut up, JoJo,” you moved in synch towards the drop zone, “we have a job to do.”

You were praised as heroes after the battle in Hong Kong. JoJo held your hand on the way back to your room and you swore that he was going to cause you to have a heart attack.

“I’ll see you in the morning at the meeting,” he kissed your forehead and left you leaning against his bedroom door.

“You’ll be the death of me, JoJo de la Guerra,” you sighed at his retreating figure.

“We’re doing what?” JoJo yelled across the room.

“Gipsy and Cobalt will be running point for Striker when we blow up the breach,” Pentecost informed the room calmly.

“But Herc is down,” Raleigh said, “you. You’re piloting her, aren’t you?”

“That’s our only option right now, does everyone understand?”

Multiple ‘yes sir’s’ echoed through the room. JoJo took your hand as he stormed out of the meeting room.

“Where are we going?” you spoke as he dragged you towards his room.

“We’re probably going to die tomorrow, not going to sugarcoat it,” he pulled you into the roo and closed the door, “I don’t want to die regretting never doing this.”

“Doing wh-,” you were out off by his lips crashing onto yours. You moaned at the feeling and wrapped your arms around his neck. You certainly wanted every part of this, especially considering the stakes of tomorrow.

“At the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Today there is not a man nor woman in here that shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door and bring the fight to them! Today, we are canceling the apocalypse!”

The Shatterdome erupted into cheers at the end of Pentecost’s speech before it broke into a mad dash to launch the three Jaegers into the highest risk mission ever.

“Pilots to your Jaegers,” the robotic voice called out. You and JoJo made your way to Cobalt Glory’s main hub for the third time together.

“You ready for this?” he asked as you hooked into the system.

“No,” you spoke softly, “we might die this time.”

“Don’t think about that, doll,” he reassured you, “we can do this.”

“I hope you’re right, Jo,” you voice wavered.

“Initiating Neural Handshake,” the PON spoke to you both.

The drift was easier this time, your connection to the man standing next to you was so strong that it took you mere seconds to be 100% connected.

“Cobalt Glory,” Tendo called to you, “you’re ready and have permission to go. Good luck.”

You moved across the ocean floor in the Jaeger, flanking left of Striker Eureka and the package, Gipsy Danger flanking right. Your ranks were broken when two category four Kaiju’s ripped through your formation.

Scunner bit at Cobalt’s arm and pulled you off to the side. You and JoJo slice at the Kaiju with your sword and punch it firmly in the face. It recoils and makes it’s way towards Striker and the package.

Yells are heard through your coms as a third Kaiju emerges from the breach, someone screams that it’s a category five, the first. A triple event. Your heart drops when you hear the yells from the Shatterdome.

You and JoJo make your way towards the break to help Gipsy with the other category four Kaiju. The two of you kill it within minutes but turn to see Striker being hounded by the other two.

In what felt like seconds, you hear the plan to detonate the package above the breach in an attempt to kill the two Kaiju.

In a moment, you’ve stabbed your sword into the ocean floor, tears racing down your cheeks as you watch Striker Eureka blow up itself, the pilots inside and the category four Kaiju attached to it. The water around you surges and creates a tidal wave. JoJo yells at you to brace yourself as the water crashes into the back of your Jaeger.

“What now?” Raleigh coms to your Jaeger.

“Um, we have to get through the breach and blow it up, that other Kaiju is still around here somewhere. We’ve sustained heavy internal system damage, what about you?”

“Same over here,” Mako calls, “look out!”You and JoJo turn in time to see Slattern coming towards you, you grip its head and throw it to the ground. It reels back up and launches itself at Cobalt again.

“The power core!” JoJo yells to you as your hold Slattern’s head in a death lock, “blast the head with the power core!”

“We’ll lose power!”“Just do it!”

The two of you hold the Kaiju’s head and ultra-charge your power core. You release the blast straight into the Kaiju’s head, effectively killing it.

“Cobalt Glory!” Raleigh’s voice crackles through the coms once more, “how are you holding up?”“We’re dead weight, Gipsy,” JoJo replies, “Slattern is dead but we used the power core to kill it and we’re powerless.”

“Eject safely in your pods, we’ll take it from here,” Raleigh commands, “you’ve done well.”

“Will do, Gipsy,” JoJo speaks calmly, “good luck finishing the mission.”

“See. you on the other side, Cobalt.”

With that your communications are shut down, JoJo opens the escape pod override, you attempt to do the same.

“Shit,” you yell.

“What?” JoJo looks over at you concerned.

“My pod is damaged, I can’t use it,” you panic as your oxygen tank levels begin to decrease.

“It’s okay, take a deep breath and disconnect, we’ll go in my pod together.”

You nod and do as he says. He grips you tighter than he ever could once you reach him and the two of you are ejected from Cobalt. Your heart drops at the fact that you have to leave her at the bottom of the Pacific.

You return to the Shatterdome as heroes once more, the four of you make your way through the crowds. Everyone watches as the clock is stopped for the last time. This was the end.

“I guess I should take you out on a date now,” JoJo smiled at you and pulled you into a deep kiss.

“I’d love that, de la Guerra.”

#jojo imagine #jojo de la guerra #jojo de la guerra x reader #jojo de la guerra imagine #newsies imagine #newsies x reader #pacific rim au #newsies x pacific rim #crossover fic #wine-anon things #wine-anon writing #wine-anon imagine #wine-anon asks #ask 🍷

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things2mustdo · 5 years

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Poor Bret Easton Ellis. For someone I imagine to be rather fastidious – years ago, a friend of mine visited his New York apartment, where he was a little surprised to be told not to touch any of its owner’s CDs – this can hardly be the easiest of Monday mornings. For one thing, Virgin Atlantic has lost his luggage. Ahead of my arrival at his pristine London hotel, he had to dash out to buy deodorant; his black tracksuit bottoms are faintly marked with a stain that may (or may not) be airline toothpaste. For another, I have an absolutely stinking cold. In the bar where we’re to talk – it’s called the Punch Room, which is appropriate, given the territory covered by his new book – he sits down, not at my table, but at the one next to it, which makes us both laugh. Is he really going to stay all the way over there? “Well,” he says, faux sheepish. “I’m so susceptible to these things, and I am on a book tour.” Reluctantly, he inches towards me.

Still, he is such a good sport. His manner is warm, and his face – pinker and heavier now than at the height of his literary fame, and topped with hair that is silver – bears a near-permanent smile. He talks and talks; he doesn’t watch his words; he is frequently very funny and sometimes a touch scabrous. All of which makes me wonder about the way he is treated both by some journalists and on social media. In the days before our meeting, I read a review of his new book that was so gratuitously spiteful, it fairly took the breath away. I also read an interview on the New Yorker website, one that had done brisk business on Twitter, causing indignation, outrage and glee wherever it appeared. People were saying that it dispatched the supposedly beyond-the-pale Ellis satisfyingly, and with utmost appropriateness. But it seemed to me to be mostly an exercise in baiting, interruption, disingenuousness and grandstanding on the part of its writer.

Ellis’s new book is his first for almost a decade, and his first work of nonfiction. It is called White, and is best described as a provocation, though it’s much more than that if you take the trouble to read it. Yes, there’s lots of goading about why he hates snowflakey millennials (“Generation Wuss”, as he has dubbed them). It attacks what he regards as the narcissism of the young, roundly dismisses the rush to offence and the cult of victimisation, and chases down the self-dramatising of those liberal Americans who must be passed the smelling salts at the mere mention of Donald Trump. Although he thinks the #MeToo movement had real meaning when it began, Ellis dislikes the way it has since extended to include, most recently, such supposed crimes as what some might call the overfriendliness of the former US vice-president Joe Biden. He is largely dismissive of identity politics, and despises the way that people can now be “cancelled” (erased from public life) over some relatively small but dumb thing they may have said in the past. Like I said, the book is a provocation – and it’s up to you, the reader, to choose to what degree you are prepared to allow yourself to be riled.

The first year of fame is always fun, then you spend the rest of your life trying not to be humiliated

But the essays in White also contain some pretty nifty film criticism; reading it, I felt for the first time in ages interested in Richard Gere again (and even, momentarily, in Charlie Sheen). There are interesting sections on Joan Didion and David Foster Wallace, and on what our cultural lives were like – more precious? More intensely felt? – before the internet. Ellis is good on his 1991 novel, American Psycho, and its strange prescience (we’ll come back to this). Above all, there are some neat flashes of memoir: in particular, an account of his 70s childhood in Sherman Oaks, Los Angeles, where he grew up the son of a wealthy property developer, and the friend of kids whose parents were directors and movie stars. As he notes, the world then was built for adults rather than children – something he experienced as freedom, and on which he looks back with gratitude. And here, perhaps, he places his finger firmly on one of the primary causes at the heart of the war of words that rages between his generation and that of his boyfriend of 10 years, the musician Todd Michael Schultz, who is 22 years his junior (yes, he lives with a millennial). What it comes down to is a question of timing, and of upbringing.

“I thought it was rather exciting,” he says, of a childhood that enabled him to see the films he wanted to see, and to read the books he wanted to read, unbridled by anxiety on the part of his carers (thanks to this, he developed as a teenager a passion for the films of Brian de Palma, the director of Carrie, Scarface and The Untouchables).

“This is not a blanket statement, but…” He guffaws, knowing full well that it absolutely is a blanket statement. “What I’ve noticed is a kind of helplessness in millennials. I didn’t realise this until lately, but I was on my own. My parents were narcissistic baby boomers, more interested in themselves than us [they would later divorce]. Not that they didn’t love us, but they were very wrapped up in their own lives.

“I do remember floating on my own. I had to grow up on my own. I had to figure things out for myself. I had some help. I’m not saying that I didn’t. But certainly, there wasn’t the overprotective bubble that so many of my friends raised their children in. Growing up, I didn’t know a single person on medication. None. On my boyfriend’s side of the aisle, though, there wasn’t anyone who wasn’t on something, including him. Growing up, I didn’t know anyone who wanted to victimised either; we wanted to be affected by stuff.” He emits a hammy sigh. “I don’t care if I sound old any more. I haven’t changed at all. I was the old man at 15.” He then launches into a brief and somewhat practised riff about the emotional support animals that people are now allowed to take on planes, should a medical professional have decreed such a creature beneficial to their mental health: “I can’t go anywhere without my chihuahua! Are you kidding me?”

White by Bret Easton Ellis review – sound, fury and insignificance

It is this mollycoddling, he believes, that accounts, in part, for what he regards as the total inability of his boyfriend’s generation to understand not only that others may have a different viewpoint to their own, but that it is entirely acceptable for them to do so. “It has disabled him in a lot of ways,” he says, of Schultz. White contains more than one account of his boyfriend’s liberal meltdowns in the face of Trump and his supporters. So how are things currently at their West Hollywood homestead? How did Schultz respond to the recent publication of the Mueller report? “He was very quiet for 24 hours,” says Ellis, not without satisfaction. “For two and a half years he had been praying for it: Mueller is going to save us. Then it came out, and it was: Mueller is a stooge. People have gotten so obsessed and so angry with Trump – you could say that they have been Trumped – and I have warned him about this. I have told him: you need cunning, you need a plan, you need to get someone good [as a candidate] and then you can get him out of there. But just screaming about the resistance and shouting that Russia is to blame for everything isn’t going to work.”

This makes me wonder: what’s the nature of their bond? (The two of them met at a dinner party.) “Mysterious!” whispers Ellis, loudly. Well, does Todd look to him for guidance? “Yes, he does. But I don’t know why it has lasted for 10 years. It is an intense friendship.” Does Todd make him laugh? “All the time, and I make him laugh, too. Also, what I’m talking about in the book takes up only about 10% of our time, though…” He can’t help himself. “Actually, he has become really anti-media, and against the Democratic party, too. He is a socialist, and he does believe in ‘tear it all the fuck down’, and I don’t believe that can ever happen in America. I think it’s a centrist country.” To be clear, however, Ellis also regards Trump as an “idiot” and “grotesque”. He did not vote for him, and thus is bewildered – or, at any rate, irritated – to be repeatedly described as an apologist for him. “Molly Jong-Fast, the daughter of Erica Jong, wrote this piece in the Daily Beast where she asked: How did he [Ellis] turn into this Maga cap-wearing ultra-conservative? These people have been raised to think their reactions to things are completely correct and that the other side is not only totally wrong but also therefore immoral, sexist, racist. All my book argues is: let’s have a conversation. But of course it has already been totalled in America. My ability to trigger millennials is insane.”

I have the impression that, unlike most writers, Ellis genuinely doesn’t care what people say in their reviews. On the page, he might sound pugnacious, even thin-skinned. But in person, he is cheerily blithe. Then again, for him it was ever thus. As he writes in White, to have a long-term career as a writer, it’s possible that you need to be hated as well as loved. When his first novel, Less Than Zero, made him famous at the age of just 21 – he was still a student at Bennington College when he completed this famously affectless account of the lives of a group of rich LA teenagers – it received as many bad reviews as good ones. “Simon & Schuster were taken to task for publishing the journals of a 21-year-old drug addict,” he says. “I remember newspaper op-eds about it, and it has been like that ever since. It’s just part of what my brand is.”

His third novel, American Psycho, starring the serial killer, investment banker and (yes!) Donald Trump worshipper, Patrick Bateman (later made into a faithful film starring Christian Bale and, more recently, a musical), was rejected by his publisher shortly before it was about to appear – when the decision was taken in November, 1990, its cover was already designed – after some at Simon & Schuster found themselves discomfited by what they saw as its misogynistic violence. In the end, Random House published it. Ellis sees the book now as something of a canary in the coal mine – and it’s hard not to disagree with him in a world where censorship, seen and unseen, is undoubtedly on the rise.

“That book wouldn’t be published now,” he says. “I mean, no one wanted to publish it then. Very few people came forward. I was just lucky. But what’s interesting is that I didn’t know until I was putting White together just how haunted I’d been by American Psycho. I can’t get away from Patrick Bateman. I mean, it was prescient, and not only because of Trump.” (Trump is mentioned 40 times in the novel, thanks to Bateman’s obsession with him; as Ellis writes in White, in the late 80s, Trump was, to some, an inspirational figure – and maybe this was why he felt more prepared than some on the left when he was elected president: “I once had known so many people who liked him.”)

At the time of American Psycho’s publication, he says, people conflated the crimes of Bateman with the attitudes of his creator – if Bateman was a woman-hater, then surely Ellis was, too – just as they’re now convinced that he supports Trump simply because he has had the temerity to criticise those who are opposed to the president. Thanks to this, he received death threats. Perhaps this is why it took him a while to admit that there were indeed things he and his most famous character had in common. The novel was born of the dislocation Ellis felt as he was writing it: if Bateman was living a double life, then so was he. In 1987, having moved to New York, he was still coming to terms with his sudden, glossy fame. It seemed to him that there were then two Brets: the party boy whose image appeared in newspapers and magazines alongside actors such as Robert Downey Jr and fellow members of the newly minted literary Brat Pack such as Jay McInerney (sometimes, Ellis barely knew he’d attended whichever opening was being reported), and the one whose anxiety and self-doubt were spiralling out of control, and who treated these conditions with a liberal use of cocaine and benzodiazepines.

Did fame screw him up? “A little bit, but it wasn’t something I was chasing, and it didn’t mean anything to me. The first year – ’85 to ’86 – it was fun. The first year of fame is always fun, then you spend the rest of your life trying not to be humiliated. People are suspicious of you for ever.” The Brat Pack was, he says, entirely a media construct. “I was never friends with Tama Janowitz[another of its members]. I barely knew her. There are these pictures of me and Jay with her that are reprinted all the time – and yet, those are the only three, and they were all taken at the same party. I wasn’t even hanging out with Jay that much. I got to know him much better after the Brat Pack thing went away.”

There is, he agrees, something almost inevitably disappointing about the career of a writer, particularly one who enjoys early success (at Bennington, he also knew Donna Tartt and Jonathan Lethem). “People would be shocked by how few books most writers sell. The writing career is not at all long.” Does this make him feel mournful? “No. I’ve never won a prize, there are advances I still haven’t made up: two of my books that were bestsellers still haven’t made their advances yet. My audience is… niche. But I’ve written the books I wanted to write, and I’m happy with them.”

These days, he spends his time writing film scripts and working on his podcast, which has a small but devoted audience of subscribers. Will he ever write another novel? “I can never say never. But the notion right now of using the novel as a form of artistic communication… I really don’t have that kind of story, or if I do, I want to tell them in movies or TV.” Does he believe it’s over for the novel generally? Though he agrees that novels are not such a big deal as they were when he was young, he still loves reading them. “I liked The Girls [Emma Cline’s 2016 novel about the Manson cult]. It had a consciousness, and I’m looking for that. But… The Woman at the Window [a bestselling thriller by AJ Finn]. Something like that is a style-free zone, and I can’t read it. The Girl on the Train [Paula Hawkins’s thriller]. That was a terrible book.” He slaps his thighs, delightedly. The internet, and the choice and speed it lends us, has led, he believes, to a reduction in what he calls “ardency” when it comes to books, films and TV. People don’t get passionate – we tend not to make a fetish of art – the way he did as a young man.

Is he happy? “I’m… mellow. Are you ever really happy? No. But I’m not miserable. There’s no point. I’m getting older. You realise: why am I so uptight about things? Why do I care? Everything matters a lot less. I was here in London in 2010, and then I was still in my absurd midlife crisis. I think there’s this notion that you’re being supplanted by younger men; you’re being aged out of the biological imperative that is the world. It happens to everyone, but it happens to women and gay men much earlier. You realise: oh, I’m not being looked at, and this person’s not interested in me, and I’m going to try and hold on to my youth, and colour my hair, and get a sports car. And then you realise: this is misery, and you think, fuck it, and you relax, and that’s freedom. The burdens of sex and having to be attractive and stay in shape are gone. It’s the pose. The pose is gone.”

He laughs loudly. “It gets to the point where even the notion of possible friskiness is oppressive.” What he says next is too filthy to print, but it makes me laugh, too – the mind that brought us what David Foster Wallace called Nieman Marcus nihilism (Patrick Bateman and his ultra-designer life, all labels and muscles) thinking only of elasticated waistbands, and sleep.

• White by Bret Easton Ellis is published by Picador (£16.99). To order a copy go to guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over £15, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of £1.99

#bret easton ellis #essays #american psycho #books #culture

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