#gerard's outfit today????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angstics · 1 year

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i finally articulated my opinion on my "is gerard way doing drag" question. my definition of drag is when a person impersonates, exaggerates, or appropriates a mode of gender expression. drag can be artistic or political (or both). drag can be an identity. drag and transgender identity are confused as the same thing. for some, it is. what is considered cross dressing can also be considered drag. it's important to note that drag is essential to queer culture, and how the us government harasses queer people through cross dressing, and now anti-drag, laws. we wouldnt be here talking about pop artists doing drag without drag performers and nonbinary-trans-gnc people.

to some people, a self-identified man in a female-identified dress is drag. "cross dressing" depends on cishet norms. queer people, especially nonbinary-trans-gnc people, have called to dismantle the assignment of gender to clothing. under that lens, a man in a dress is just a man in a dress -- for it to be drag, context and intent matters. that's how you get women doing female drag, or androgynous people doing what gerard way's been doing this last year on tour.

in asking "is gerard way doing drag?", im assigning importance to the topic. does it matter? within my understanding, drag is about intent and context as much as gender presentation. intent and context is what makes something important. therefore: understanding why the question is important solves it.

male music artists have a long history of cross dressing and doing drag. there's a good chance plugging any dude into a search engine with "drag" or "skirt" will bring something up. bowie, queen, nirvana, manic street preachers, placebo. here's a list. newer artists: lil nas x, harry styles, anthony green, pete wentz, young thug. some are impersonating female caricatures, some are masculinizing female clothes (long, ill-fitting, straight). some, like molko and lil nas, wear feminine clothes without exaggerating or masculinizing. gerard is in that same grey area.

male music artists have a long history of cross dressing and doing drag -- photos: "i want to break free" mv by queen (1984) / placebo in london (oct 1998) / lil nas x at audacy beach festival (dec 5, 2021) / fall out boy at rock for people (june 17, 2022)

all that history is why it was so weird when kerrang called gerard's riot fest "dress and heels" "a compelling show of contrarian anti-rock star eccentricity". it is not anti-rock star, at least not as described. it may be compelling, contrarian, and eccentric, but no reviewer really cares to analyze why. the closest they get is by identifying non-binary connection (them.us) and its relation to the "minefield that is American gender politics today" (latimes.com).

fans were struck by way's outfits for a lot of other reasons.

1. we have to get it out of the way that they just looked hot -- gerard is perpetually attractive, skirts are pretty. easy equation.

2. he has a long history of gender nonconformity. more on that in my #mcr queer studies tag. gerard is a 45 year old famously androgynous person who doesnt do labels, aligns himself with gender nonconformity (2014 reddit ama, 2018 advocate article, 2015 he/they tweet), and doesnt seem to care to be known as a man.

3. the tour outfits were well-fitted. many were crafted by skilled designer marina toybina and her team. which leads to ->

4. the outfits were very casual and very feminine. as mentioned, most men opt for masculine, ill-fitting skirts. which is to say they are NOT showing leg and they are definitely not showing ass. gerard doesnt steer clear from shortness or tightness or movement. he also dresses in ways people dress day to day -- the miniskirt is as casual as the shorts as casual as the jeans. there's some discussion to be had about what casual means -- he could be imitating expected presentation or just using basics, like his frequent shirt and pants.

the miniskirt is as casual as the shorts as casual as the jeans -- photos: firefly music festival (sept 23, 2022) / uncasville (sept 1, 2022) / eden project night 1 (may 16, 2022)

5. there was variety. many outfits, many types. he wasnt just doing pure femininity. some looks were high concept, some low concept. some gendered, some genderless. some feminine, some masculine. it was playful. its honesty evident in its fluidity yet cohesiveness. expanded in the next points ->

6. they incorporate elements of masculinity and gender neutrality concurrent with the feminine. his aggressive, energetic performance style often doesnt mind what people are seeing when his skirt lifts or shirt droops. he has little to no make-up -- if he does, it's stage and not glam. the closest he gets is the agender black swan look at boston night 1, the stage contour at wwwy night 3, and dubious lipstick at firefly. he also maintains the same hairstyle: barely styled, not straightened-curled. pinned a few times, gelled back some other times.

he has little to no make-up -- if he does, it's stage and not glam -- photos: boston night 1 (sept 7, 2022) / when we were young night 3 (oct 29, 2022) / firefly music festival (sept 23, 2022)

7. the character outfits weren't caricatures, like green's sleazy hooker or queen's uptight housewives. gerard's characters were appropriated but not exaggerated. cheerleader, nurse, manson girl, jackie o, princess diane, st joan. all figures of pop culture. he wore them as they were. even comparing green and way's similar white-green cheerleader costumes there's a difference in presentation. green wears long leggings, way wears shorts. green's costume is based on a stranger things character, way's is a custom remade vintage outfit. green exhibits the masculinization of feminine clothes which way subverts. this comparison highlights what makes way's outfits different, and therefore exciting to talk about.

green exhibits the masculinization of feminine clothes which way subverts -- photos: saosin in garden grove, ca (oct 27, 2022) / mcr in nashville, tn (aug 23, 2022)

8. and when he played with masculinity, it was in a way that was dubbed "boydrag". the new jersey night 2 casino singer look was a dramatic caricature that heightened masculine features until they were pure style... the defintion of camp. he had a mustache -- thin like john waters or a confirmed bachelor, and drawn on with eyeliner. he had a suit -- a pink-gold, glittery woman's cut jacket with a glittery bowtie and pleated shirt. the dramatic flair is accentuated by the black eye make-up, the frank sinatra "my way" cover, the drum tag: "the house always wins".

the defintion of camp -- photos: new jersey night 2 (sept 21, 2022) 1 / 2

when i asked which outfits others considered drag, all replies identified the casino singer and jackie o as drag and the rest as "just clothes". this relation made me understand why the rest couldnt be drag despite all the connections i talked about above. the jackie o outfit doesnt exaggerate the source like casino singer, but the source itself is both highly dramatic and highly gendered. cheer is gendered but not highly dramatic, st joan dramatic but not highly gendered. diane is gendered and dramatic, but not highly. the list goes on and on. it's a fine line. especially cheer could tip into drag for me.

but the source itself is both highly dramatic and highly gendered -- photos: mcr at riot fest (oct 12, 2022) / jackie kennedy onassis (jan 3, 1971)

if drag is understood in this way, simply wearing gendered clothes isnt drag. the look itself has to be about the performance of gender, however that may be presented. that’s the importance of classification. we can see what the artist is doing.

#mcr #gerard way #mcr queer studies #mcr performance studies #qessay #mcr fashion studies

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rosyronkey · 6 months

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hi! i wrote an essay about rosy ronkey and her clothes, and i hypothesized what time period i think shes from/inspired by ^^ below if you wanna read more :))

ive been fixated (or had a special interest or whatever you want to call it) on rosy ronkey for a YEAR today. i've always been pretty interested in her outfit from an aesthetically pleasing point of view, but recently i wanted to see if i could find any trends and time periods in the inspirations of her clothes, which is what this essay is about! it’s going to be an explanation of most of her clothes, top to bottom, from what i can assume with the research i've done. i say research, but i probably don’t have the best sources? they’ll be linked below, but it was really more cross-referencing than anything else lol

i reached out to annie montgomerie for comment/criticism, but she’s obviously very busy and i enjoyed my research from a subjective point of view :)

basic specs on rosy (no one else but me cares): looking at rosy, the only zoomorphic, or animal looking, aspect of hers is her head. judging by proportions and cross-referencing, she looks to have the body of an american girl doll. this is just what i’ve noticed, but annie’s most recent stuff is way less anthropomorphized compared to rosy and the group she was made with. looking at annie’s most recent exhibit, hand me downs, every single piece is completely animal, with hand-sculpted claws, paws, wings and hooves. some of these dolls legs still look like american girl doll legs, but most everything else is animalistic. this isn’t important, but i just thought id mention it because artists’ growth over time is cool!

starting with her coat, it looks like a double-breasted red childrens’ coat with two rows of two buttons each. these kinds of coats are still available today, but i could find the closest matches by looking at 1920s childrens’ coats, specifically rothschild coats. the rothschild family has a long and complicated history, but all that’s important to know is that they are new york based (which doesn’t totally fit my assumptions about her; in general i assume all of annie montgomerie’s dolls are british because of her nationality) and they’ve been in business for over 100 years. by cross-referencing the growing style of double-breasted coats in the 1920s, and the style of rothschild childrens’ coats in ads from the time, i feel like it’s easy to assume rosy's character has this coat, or at least was very heavily inspired by it.

a theory i’ve seen before is that the ticket on her coat is a luggage label. these were used during WWII to evacuate british children during the blitz. the history press site says luggage labels listed “name, school and evacuation authority,” and is also where i got most of my information. i want to tentatively deny this theory. i'm pretty sure the ticket is an annie montgomerie staple opposed to a part of rosys' character. she's shown with the tag in the yorkshire sculpture park video, and on gerard way’s website, but she’s missing it in all the photos posted by annie montgomerie herself on facebook and instagram. almost every single annie montgomerie piece on display or for sale has a tag as well. i love this theory, and it’s probably what got me interested in researching her outfit in the first place, but i don’t think i could prove it if i tried.

other than the ticket, she has white roses on the left side of her coat and some smaller twigs? sticks? pinned to her collar. white roses symbolize purity, youthfulness, innocence, and in some contexts, respect for the departed. i couldn’t find any historical photos of children with roses in their outfits, but across the board that was the result i got for their meaning. i can’t discern what she has on her right collar for the life of me, if someone else can figure this out, PLEASE tell me

her dress is pink, with a cinched embroidered waist and a peter pan collar. peter pan collars became popular in the 1920s, and have been a staple of childrens’ dresses since (sources for this one were a few blogs and wikipedia, but also some ads, so i feel pretty confident with it.) some ads for girls’ dresses in the 1920s had the same soft pleats and embroidered waist as seen on rosys’ dress. i don’t think there’s a meaning behind the color, except that it compliments the red coat and her fur.

her stockings are standard, I couldn’t find much special meaning behind them, british children have been wearing stockings forever, and for girls especially, stockings became more popular in the 1920s as dresses got shorter. usually they were sheer and nude, and rosys’ look like the gray kind kids wear today, but i think it’s still period appropriate to an extent. her shoes look like red mary janes for american girl dolls, just more scuffed and dirtied. mary jane shoes themselves have been around for a while (called “bar shoes” originally,) but they got their name in 1904. in one of the first drafts for this, i read the fairy tale “the red shoes” to see if it offered any insight. i thought it’d be fun to relate, but it’s just a popular danish fairy tale, and it was hard for me to entertain the idea for long.

TLDR: i think rosy ronkeys outfit is inspired by british 1920s fashion!

that’s all I have! i apologize if this was underwhelming or overwhelming or whatever, i had no model to base this off of and the only tumblr essays i read are from my friends <3 i hope you enjoyed! i love rosy ronkey!

link to my dumbfuck google doc with all the links and braindump on it :)

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foolscapper · 6 months

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Hey guys! While I'm working on commissions and shop-related stuff, I'm gonna be running some quick polls to gauge which of these pieces you would like to see as shiny/holographic/broken glass/etc prints — which is to say, prints with cool effects over the top. I've picked some I think would work well with the effect, but you guys need to let me know which you'd really like to see, so I can narrow it down more! I've got a poll for each little group. :)

Today, we'll start with Gerard. Let me know which you'd like to see most for sale in print! The size will likely be 5x7 (or 5x5 if square). If there's one not in the list that you'd like to see, feel free to comment on the post with your preferences! This is all just to gauge what people would like most, after all. ♥

#mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way

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dakichh · 6 months

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happyhappy halloween to all of you killjoys!! today tried to have an outfit like gerard's one(literally try to do this every fckin day) umm so anyway hope you'll enjoy this spoooky night

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justwritedreams · 1 year

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Nowhere left to run | San

San x Reader, bffs to lovers au!, dystopian au! Word count: 5107 (sorry lol) Genre: Angst, fluff, kinda action Author: maari Warnings: Mentions of death, ship hijacking, assassins, bruises, cuts, punches, a little suggestive in the end but nothing really happens. No proofread because I was too anxious to post this one to worry about mistakes so forgive me. Note: I've been watching too many Gerard Butler's movie so I wanted to try to write something like that and the fact that I dreamed this entire scenario last night helped so enjoy! Summary: When it seems like the end of the world, you and San have nowhere left to run.

⩥ Ateez Masterlist

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

Y/N smiled at the voice behind her and turned after she closed her cabin door, meeting the dimpled smile that made her heart skip a beat.

“Good morning, San!” she responded excitedly and the best friend pulled her into a quick but warm hug.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he pulled his body away from hers, Y/N pouted slightly at the lack of contact, but nodded in agreement.

“Yes, I am, the medicine made me a little groggy, but I'm used to the rocking of the ship.” she shrugged and the two of them started to walk towards the main hall.

“You should have told your parents that you get sick easily.”

“Hey, I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to travel the world on an all expenses paid ship before starting university.” she said and San laughed, nodding in agreement. Y/N glared at her friend and then her eyes dropped to his outfit. “Why the sweater?”

She didn't want to stare at him for so long but even wearing such a simple outfit, black pants and a black sweater, he managed to be the most handsome guy on the entire ship full of foreigners and tourists. And well, San had been working out lately, even though the sweater was slightly too big, it framed his broad shoulders very well and the image made Y/N miss all the air.

Couldn't she have a less handsome friend? It wasn't good for her heart.

It was hot outside though, so much so that Y/N was woken up by the hot sun hitting her back.

"I saw that it's going to get cold in the next few hours, I anticipated it, I don't want to get sick on vacation." he explained and got a laugh out of Y/N.

"San!"

"What? I'm cautious."

"So I guess no pool for us today, huh?" she asked and San scratched the back of his head.

It wasn't like she was going to take it badly, seeing San wet in a tank top would be too much for her poor heart. And she wouldn't even be able to hide it or make up an excuse since she wasn't feeling bad because of the ship and she wasn't even taking the medicine for cravings anymore.

San stopped and Y/N did the same, glaring at his friend.

"I think-" San's speech was interrupted by a loud crash.

Everyone in the main hall stopped to cover their ears at the noise, but then the ship rocked hard, as if it were made of paper, and people were thrown to the ground by the impact. Y/N closed her eyes as she fell to the ground and felt San's hands clutching her body, as if somehow he was going to protect her.

The still strong noise began to hum in the ears of the people who were confused, in pain and fallen, the ship gave another lurch and the lights failed, glass was broken and the shrapnel was thrown everywhere. Soon then desperate screams were heard.

Y/N opened her eyes and tried to locate the screams, noticing San did the same, and when she saw where the screams were coming from she wished she hadn't seen any of it.

The glass elevator had broken in half and fallen, the people inside were screaming for help, and Y/N swore she saw blood. Then she looked around and the main hall looked like it had turned into a war zone, everything was out of place and broken, the lights were dim now and she strained her eyes to adjust. "Are you okay?" San asked worriedly and stood up, holding Y/N who followed him still confused.

"Yes." she replied low. “And you?” “I’m fine.” San's voice didn't sound good but she didn't question since looked around, seeing a lady lying on the ground and she ran to help.

The lady was just as scared as she was and thanked her for her help with an almost smile, Y/N looked back at San wondering what the hell had happened there.

Strangely the ship had stopped rocking, as if it had stopped where it was. People started to help each other and a group of men went to the elevator to help the victims and Y/N put her hand to her mouth, she had stopped biting her nails when she was nervous but at that moment she didn't even remember her bad habit .

And it got even worse when she saw the lifeless bodies being taken out of the rubble, she looked away at the same moment that San hugged her and stood in front of her so that she wouldn't look at the scene anymore.

She didn't want to cry but there, with nerves on edge and in complete despair, some tears came out that she couldn't control.

Everyone in the hall started talking at the same time, wondering what had happened and why the captain hadn't said anything until now, Y/N didn't know how much time had passed but it seemed like an eternity. "Okay, look, at times like this we need to stay calm." a tall, foreign, and older man spoke a little louder, getting the attention of all the tribulations that were there.

Including San and Y/N.

He must have been Y/N's father's age, if not a little older.

"And how are we going to calm down? People died!"

"It's easy for you to say that!"

People started snapping at the man's speech and Y/N took a deep breath, she felt like her body would collapse at any moment and if it wasn't for San's hand stroking her back, it would have already happened. "And what do you suggest we do?" Y/N asked the man, who turned to face her.

"Each floor of the ship has a way to contact the captain's cabin, we try to talk to him."

"What if we don't?" San questioned, making the man sigh.

"Then we'll have to go there and find out what happened."

Y/N gulped, something said they wouldn't be able to reach the captain the quickest way.

"My cell phone has no signal!" one person alerted and then everyone got their devices.

Y/N did the same and also found that hers was without signal too, she faced San who was doing the same and they exchanged an accomplice and terrified look.

The man then started looking for a way to contact the captain through the hall, it wasn't that difficult actually as people who weren't complaining offered to help him.

Y/N clasped her hands together, mentally praying that he got what he had planned as he put the phone to his ear. But when she saw him huff and hit the phone, she knew the first plan hadn't worked. "Does anyone have the ship's map?" He asked and no one answered.

"I have it on my phone." San spoke, lifting the device and Y/N looked at him with a frown.

"Can I borrow it?" he asked, extending his hand and with the other he took his phone, turning on the flashlight.

"I think you're going to need help." Y/N cocked her head to the side as she heard her friend speak. "I'll go with you."

He took a step forward but Y/N grabbed him by the arm, feeling her heart sink.

"San, no!" she asked desperately. "Y/N please, we don't have a choice." he turned to face her, determined and she eyed him suspiciously.

Why of all people did San have to go? There were so many men in the hall, why not another one?

"It could be dangerous." she warned and he sighed, bringing his face to kiss her forehead, and she just closed her eyes at the contact.

"I'll be back faster than you know." he tried to smirk, but he was just as worried as she was. "I promise."

Y/N took a deep breath and nodded. He was one to keep his promises and she clung to that, even though her heart squeezed even more. San made a move towards the man and Y/N followed.

"What is your name?" she asked the older one when she got close to him.

"Mike."

"Why are you so sure you know what you're doing?"

"I used to be in the US Navy."

This should have made Y/N feel more at ease knowing that San was accompanying Mike but in fact it only made her more nervous.

"Take care of him, please." she pleaded and saw the man nodding in agreement, before giving San's shoulder two light slaps.

San looked at Y/N one last time and she held his gaze, visibly worried, and she didn't stop watching him walk away until she lost sight of him.

In the midst of that chaos and despair, the only thing she could think about was San getting well and returning safe and sound.

[...] Y/N walked from one side to the other, she didn't know how many minutes or hours had passed since the incident, she had already helped more people than she thought she could in the state she was in, but San and Mike didn't come back yet.

San hadn't come back as fast as he had promised, and that made Y/N cross her arms so she wouldn't have to bite the skin off her fingers since her nails had all been destroyed. She was scared, terrified, anxious and seeing people hurt and scared wasn't helping her keep calm. Her heart beat faster when she saw two silhouettes coming back and one of them she knew well but when she saw San resting on Mike's shoulder she despaired and didn't think twice before running to him. San rested his hand on his forehead and smiled guiltily at Y/N.

"What happened?" she asked, putting an arm around his waist and the other hand went to his, pushing San's hand away she could see that he was bleeding. "Oh my God."

"It was an adventure" he replied and Y/N wanted to smack him for sounding so...excited.

Now was not the time for him to be so himself.

"We tried to get into the captain's cabin but..." Mike started to speak and Y/N stared at him, confused.

"But?"

"All are dead." San replied quietly, looking at the other crew members behind Y/N, as if she didn't want him to hear.

Y/N felt her jaw drop.

"How is this possible?"

"The cabin door is locked, we can't access it from the outside." Mike started to explain.

"So I had the bright idea to see through the glass." San continued and Y/N glared at him. "But the glass was all broken so I could see a masked person strangling the captain."

Y/N felt a shiver go through her body and the hand that was holding San's fell to her side.

"When he saw that San was there, he punched him in the face."

"The glove had sharp points so that's why the cut on my face." San pointed at his wound and Y/N grimaced in pain. "And what happened to the masked guy?" Y/N asked, curious and angry at the same time.

San and Mike exchanged a knowing look.

"It was him or San. I had no choice." Mike shrugged and Y/N glared at him.

She didn't want to understand what he meant but she did and although she was a nervous wreck, she was grateful that he had saved San's life.

"Look, some people here need to go to the hospital urgently!" Y/N pointed back and Mike saw the situation.

A man had a deep cut on his chest and was having trouble breathing, a woman had a piece of glass stuck in her thigh and it was bleeding a lot, but if they removed the glass she would lose a lot more blood because the glass had caught an artery. Other people had less worrying injuries, like a broken finger or cuts on their arms and face, in addition to the bodies that they had to cover with their own clothes and cloths they found in the hall, so as not to scare the two children who were there even more. "Yeah, I really wanted that to be possible." Mike responded and walked away, going to the crew to see what he could help with.

Y/N frowned and without understanding pulled San to the ground, she went to the first aid box that they had managed to rescue and returned to take care of her friend.

Seeing that the cotton and bandage were already gone, she tore off a piece of the thin shirt she was wearing to stop San's forehead from bleeding.

He hissed when she placed the cloth on the burning cut and grabbed her wrist. Y/N stared at San with concern and fear.

"We went down to the communication room." he began to speak quietly so that no one else could hear. "Mike knows that part so we tried asking for help."

"And?" she encouraged him to continue as she removed the part of the cloth already stained with blood and put the clean part back on San's forehead.

"All communication is down, something is blocking the signal." "And what does that mean?" she asked, startled.

"I asked Mike what he thinks, he said he believes they are trying to hijack the ship."

"What?!" Y/N spoke louder and San covered her mouth while the other crew members looked at the two.

"Shhhh! Don't scream." he begged.

Y/N was wide-eyed as San's long hand covered her entire mouth to muffle the sound.

"Promise me you'll keep your voice down."

She nodded and when San let go of her hand, she took her hand away from his forehead, it wasn't bleeding anymore but the cut was still ugly.

"Okay, tell me what you found out." she asked for bass and took a bandaid out of the box to put on San.

While she busied herself with bandaging his forehead, San shared what they had discovered.

The ship had received a message from a Japanese ship, warning that there had been a leak in the sea where the ship was going to pass, so they had to change the route and ended up in unknown areas, near the East China Sea, far away from the original path that it was the Philippine Sea.

San warned that he found the message very strange, he had studied Japanese and the accent of the voice in the message was completely different from what he had studied.

Hearing this statement from his friend only made Y/N's heart sink even more, because if the original theory was kidnapping, it would make sense to manipulate the ship's route.

They had probably fallen into a trap. One that not even the captain had noticed. "And the rest of the crew?" Y/N asked San after sitting down in front of him, they would have no other way to pass the time than talking.

"They're all dead." San replied, lowering his head and Y/N hugged her own knees. "Before Mike killed the masked guy, he said that anyone leaving the ship's premises would inhale a deadly toxic gas, so he was wearing a mask. When the ship's windows broke, the gas went into the saloons and rooms further exposed, the captain's cabin and killed everyone."

"Then why was the guy strangling the captain when you arrived?"

"It was to ensure that the captain had died."

Y/N felt her entire body shiver with panic and hugged her legs even tighter, to give the false feeling that she was safe.

"The lower decks of the ship may be safe."

"May?" Y/N stared at San in confusion. "We don't know how many masked guys boarded that ship." San shrugged and Y/N ran a hand over her face.

What a great vacation she had!

"I'm not enjoying this, San, not at all." she said and he sighed, moving his body closer to hers and putting an arm around her shoulder. Y/N sagged at the contact and rested her head on his shoulder.

"On the bright side, our cabins don't have windows and the locks are with keycards so we'll be safe there."

"If no killer got there before." she said. "Will Mike tell the rest of the crew?"

"Only about the gas."

Y/N took a deep breath and nodded, feeling her head spin, so she squinted her eyes tightly and didn't bring up the subject. She stayed there with San for who knows how long, he was stroking her shoulder the whole time.

When she heard more screams, she opened her eyes again and saw that the ship's lights had completely gone out, the pitch black didn't last long as everyone turned on their cell phone flashlights, Y/N didn't even bother to turn on hers since the others were enough to light the place.

"Okay, that's enough!" a woman spoke, getting up from the floor. "I'm going back to my cabin since apparently nothing is going to work around here."

She started walking towards the stairs and other crew members started to do the same as Mike got between them.

"I really wouldn't do that if I were you guys."

"Oh come on man, we paid for this trip, don't tell us what to do." a man responded, shoving Mike by the shoulder to get him out of the way.

San got up to help Mike stop the crew and Y/N did the same.

"You can't go!" San spoke loudly and practically pleaded with the couple carrying the child with them.

"And you can't make us stay here!"

"If you open that door, everyone will die!" Mike pointed to the door closest to the stairs and everyone stopped to stare at him.

At the same moment, a strong lightning echoed throughout the ship and everyone jumped in fright, including Y/N who grabbed San's arm tightly.

"What?" a chorus sounded and Y/N looked at San, foreseeing what was to come next.

"Great, now there's going to be a storm while we're out in the middle of the ocean while some guy wants to scare us!"

"What's this about us dying if we open the door?"

"I’m serious." Mike replied, glaring at the crew. "There is a deadly gas outside the ship."

Y/N sighed when Mike spoke and everyone spoke out loud at the same time, some believed, others doubted and others didn't know what to believe.

"Americans and their fantasies!" the man rolled his eyes and Mike started to laugh. "Do you think this is funny?"

"First, I'm Scottish." he replied, laughing. "And I'm not lying." he was more serious this time.

“He’s not!” San said but no one paid attention, making him frustrated. “Bullshit! If this had really happened, the captain would have warned the entire ship.” San and Mike exchanged a look, as if debating whether to tell the whole truth.

"Look guys, I really need to get back to my cabin, all my jewels are there!" A young woman spoke and her eyes hovered over San, something that didn't go unnoticed by Y/N. "Hey, pretty, you could walk me there, couldn't you?" Y/N stared at her in complete disbelief while San looked extremely confused. “Excuse you?!” Y/N spoke and grabbed San's arm tighter.

"If you help me, I can give you something." The woman took a step towards San and Y/N stepped in front of his friend, letting go of his arm to grab his waist as she kept facing the woman.

"He's not going anywhere with you!" you horny bitch, she thought. The woman glared at Y/N who raised an eyebrow, challenging her.

The world ending outside she worried about jewelry? And she still wanted to put San in danger!

That woman couldn't be serious. “Yeah, I don’t think I-” San's speech was interrupted by Mike's scream

"Sir, don't do that!" he asked the man at the top of the stairs and everyone turned to face him.

The man who was arguing with Mike had already gone up the stairs and had his hands on the door, San grabbed Y/N's arm that was hugging him.

“Now you’re going to say that a murderer is going to come in here." the man rolled his eyes before opening the door.

The moment he put his foot on the other side, a knife hit his neck squarely and the man fell forward lifeless.

Y/N's eyes widened and San took a step back, bringing her with him as he saw a person with the same mask as the guy he and Mike had found. "Y/N, run!" San spoke and she blinked a few times trying to react while the entire crew screamed.

But her legs felt as stiff as cement so San pulled her by the arm to follow while Mike yelled for everyone to run to the cabins below.

San and Y/N ran so hard that she almost twisted her foot on the stairs, hearing the desperate screams of the rest of the crew behind her made her extremely scared, it felt like she was in a scene from the movie Scream. "Which cabin?" she asked in a hurry to San

"Yours!" he answered quickly and she took the card out of her pants pocket.

Once they arrived in front of the door, she put the card in place but her hands were shaking so badly she wasn't helping to identify the code.

“Shit!” San took the card from her hand and put it back in place, the door opened and San pushed Y/N inside when he saw that the masked guy entered the corridor where they were, the knife was dripping blood and even though he couldn't see anything of the face of the person, I knew it was terrifying.

Seeing San standing still, Y/N pulled him into his cabin and the two struggled to close the door before the masked guy had a chance to reach them.

They took a deep breath, both with their hands on the closed door and when a loud thud followed by a curse was heard, Y/N backed away from the door. She stared scared ahead and San turned his head to look at her.

"He's not going to come in here, is he?" she asked, feeling her eyes fill with tears and San walked over to her.

He hugged her tight and closed his eyes, his heart was racing as fast as hers. For a second he thought he was going to die.

"No, I promise he won't touch you." he assured her and she nodded, burying her face in his chest.

San felt Y/N tremble and soon a sob escaped her lips, she couldn't control her tears anymore and all the mixed emotions that went through her.

"It's okay, I'm here." he brought a hand to her hair and stroked it as he sat her down on the bed.

Y/N gripped San's sweatshirt tightly as if her life depended on it and cried.

She didn't know how much time passed but they continued in that position, when Y/N took a deep breath and pulled her face away from San's chest, he looked at her tenderly, taking a hand to dry her face.

"Do you want to wash your face?" she pointed to the bandage she had made, they now had the advantage of having a bathroom in the cabin.

"No, it's fine. But I really need to get this off." he held up his sweatshirt and Y/N nodded, stepping aside for him to do so. The room was warmer since she had turned off the air conditioning when she left the room.

San was wearing a black tank top underneath and Y/N had to control a sigh when he saw his bare arms, but when San got up from the bed to put the sweatshirt on top of the armchair in the cabin Y/N saw that his back was also bleeding.

"San, your back!" she said and got up from the bed.

"What?" he turned to try to see but it was impossible so he put a hand behind his back, looking for what she had said.

"It's bleeding." she warned, staring at the cut on his back.

"Oh, I think it was when the guy punched me in the face, I fell against the shards of glass."

Y/N looked with concern and before she could say anything or even blink, San took off his shirt while complaining of pain.

Although the rational part told her to stop staring at San's bare back like that since he was bleeding and apparently in pain, the emotional part of Y/N completely ignored it.

She'd seen him shirtless, of course, but that was before he started working out, when he was still skinny. Before she saw him more as a friend. And seeing him so close, made her legs shake and it got even worse when San turned to face her, showing his defined abdomen, right there in front of her eyes. Y/N cleared her throat to try and disguise that she was staring intensely at her best friend, not that she succeeded because of course he noticed, she was far from acting discreet even after they went through all that panic. "I will..." she pointed back, taking steps back trying to focus on San's face, which had an almost imperceptible smile. "yeah, I think there's a first-aid box..." San nodded for her to continue and she lost focus, ended up hitting her back against the bathroom door. "Ouch! Yeah, I'll get it from the bathroom." she spoke too fast and looked for the box while San laughed quietly, going to bed. Y/N glanced at the mirror quickly as she took the box.

"Jesus Christ!" she spoke quietly, raising her eyebrows in complete surprise.

Yeah, San had the famous chocolate abs and she loved chocolate. How could it be the same boy who had the cutest dimples in the world?

She shook her head to clear the thoughts surrounding her best friend's strong body. Now wasn’t the time to be acting like a fervent teenager.

When Y/N returned to the room, San was sitting on the bed and she placed herself behind him, placing the box on her lap. She treated the cut with care as San hissed when she touched the wet cotton to the cut, first cleaning and then bandaging. During the process they both remained silent, he sighed every now and then as she tried not to focus on how soft and warm his skin was. As soon as it was finished, Y/N sat next to San and tried to properly take care of the cut on his forehead, the first time it had been in a hurry because of the confusion but she didn't want it to get worse so she would take advantage of having all the tools to take care of it. She noticed that the apple of his cheek was purple, probably from the punch he had taken, and after he finished the bandage, her fingers went to the bruise. "It hurts?" she asked, quietly.

San took her hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss her fingertips.

"Not anymore." he stared straight into her eyes and Y/N pouted as she couldn't smile after so much tension.

"You scared the shit out of me."

“I’m sorry!” “Yeah, you should be. Never do that again.” San nodded nonstop and she sighed. "I'm scared, San. What are we going to do now? We have nowhere to go."

"We should have gone to the kitchen, at least there's food there."

"And knives." she remembered, she was still tense, thousands of thoughts swirling in her head, coming and going without permission.

"Hey." he called, bringing both hands to her face, gripping both sides to make her face him. "We'll figure it out, don't forget we're not the only survivors, Mike will probably find a way to get us out of here. Someone will miss us."

"What if they don't?"

San saw the concern in Y/N's eyes and stroked her cheeks trying to give her hope.

"We'll find a way to send a signal!"

She took a deep breath and gave up, San gave her so much confidence that she couldn't do anything but believe his words.

"I'm not going anywhere." he guaranteed.

Y/N laughed wearily.

"Because you can't go anywhere else." she answered and waited for San to laugh but he didn't.

"Even if there was any other place, this is where I wanted to be." he intensified his gaze and Y/N stayed quiet, unable to speak. "With you."

She continued to stare at him, San's gentle eyes didn't make her want to look away from the dark iris.

That was all she wanted to hear for a long time.

And no words needed to be said, she didn't need to ask him if he was serious because she felt the truth in his voice.

As if it were a magnet, San approached Y/N's mouth and captured her lips with such desire and desperation that she sighed before she could even reciprocate in the same way.

Holding her by the waist, he started a quick and at the same time sweet kiss, she was forced to take her hands to his shoulder gently, not wanting to hurt him.

San's hot lips were driving her crazy and the room became hotter, she then climbed her hands to San's neck as he pulled her onto his lap.

When their tongues met, Y/N adjusted herself better on San's lap and rested her knees on the bed, making him stay between her legs, the position made the kiss intensify and his hands went up all over her extension of her back.

She wanted to continue but the lack of breath was greater than her desire and she broke the kiss, touching their foreheads.

San's heavy breathing against her face made her smile before she even opened her eyes.

And when she did, she saw San smiling widely and the dimples showing, making her take her hands to caress, without restraining herself now.

"We should have done this sooner."

Yes, they should.

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