#get fucking destroyed darkling

[nicollekidman]

the way i’m not even being weird about alina i just see her <3

#like literally this is the crux of the entire trilogy #the way jessie and ben would’ve BODIED this but fucking no. i guess #altho technically we could still get this bc now she does have his power and it IS magic and she DID give in #she just doesn’t have mal or the darkling and she couldn’t take herself out so #here’s how white haired murder suicide alina can still win #shadow and bone #sorry but she’s crazy! she gave into desire ONCE and said now we both have to die of we’ll destroy the earth! he is afraid and i am not so

[kasagia]

In the darkness

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x fem! Alina's sister! Sun Summoner! reader Summary: After you and Alina destroyed the fold, she killed Aleksander and became queen at Nikolai's side, you took the place, tittle and chambers of the General of the Second Army. And then... strange things starts to happen in the darkness. Warning(s): obsessive behaviour; toxic relationship; voyeurism; Aleks manipulates the reader, the reader gives in to him; the reader is alone and needs someone *cough* her Darkling; fight; violence; dark reader; Word Count: 9,2 k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

You won. Alina won. The fold did not exist anymore… as well as he. Ravka was safe. And the new royal couple was supposed to provide it with peace and splendor. That's what they were saying.

Nobody talked about the fallen. About the thousands of Grishas still living in fear. About thousands were imprisoned by Fjerdans and Shu-Hans who experimented on them.

All that mattered was that the Darkling was dead. The darkness disappeared. The shadows left with their last summoner, whose body he begged you to burn.

And maybe, after all, he was cruel. Maybe he knew that despite everything he had done, you still loved him, and his request (as well as his staring at you as if you were his only light and the only one thing he wanted to look at before his death) would completely break your already battered heart.

Maybe that was his last act of manipulation and control over you. A pleasure he couldn't slip out of his fingers. Maybe seeing you sobbing over him was the last goal he set for himself, before he leaves this world after the centuries he has lived. Centuries of constant fighting and flight. Centuries of leaving in his own shadows, in hatred, each time he looked at the fold, he was reminded that he wasn't able to achieve his goal.

That he was utterly alone...

Just as you are now.

Or maybe he just loved you, and you didn't want to admit it to yourself...

And now, laying on the bed in which he used to sleep, on the bed he used to hold you, on the bed he spent with you many sleepless nights and long, late mornings, you know that no matter what renovation this room will have, it will always remind you of him.

Your Aleksander... your equal... your monster.

You shiver as the cold, winter air comes to his... your room. You get up from the bed and walk to the window to close the door.

You look at the palace gardens and immediately remind yourself of the days before you found out he was Black Heretic, before that fatal Winter Fete.

Two years ago, Aleksander was chasing you around gardens, laughing, snowballs fighting, and doing all the stupid things he couldn't do in the daylight.

Two years ago, your life looked like a fairytale, and you were blessed to live in it. Now it is much closer to tragedy. And knowing how the events would turn out, you would have definitely cherished those simple, peaceful days with Aleksander by your side more while they lasted.

You sigh, absently stroking your right hand where Aleksander ordered David to physically embed the amplifier into you a few months ago.

You were pathetic. Missing the man who manipulated you, who hurt your sister, who wanted to kill your friends, who hurt Genya... but that was why you couldn't fully hate him. He did everything to achieve his goal. He hurt everyone who stood in his way.

Except you.

Never you.

And it hurt more than if he had physically hurt you.

He always held you up as his equal. The son of a bitch even had his kefta re-stitched to have gold embroidery to represent your power. He wore your combined colours with pride. Just like you did before you discovered how many sweet lies he had fed you since the day you first met him.

Tears come to your eyes as you remember how that fucking bastard, moments before Alina drove the shadow sword through his abdomen, lunged at his Nichevo'yas to stop them from attacking you. You saw the vulnerability and the fear in his eyes until your light drove the shadow monsters away from you. And relief, which was replaced by painful shock when Alina took advantage of his moment of inattention and killed him.

It had never occurred to you to hurt Alina before... except that fateful day.

You wipe the tears from your cheeks with your hand and turn to go back to the bed. You had a meeting with several colonels, including Fedyor and Ivan. The two were also torn apart by the war.

At least Fedyor still has his Ivan alive to atone for his sins. - you think bitterly, even jealousy, as you somehow manage to fall asleep in this big, empty, cold bed.

And when you close your eyes, the candle that was lit on the nightstand that once belonged to Aleksander goes out as you fall into a deep sleep.

If you had been a little more alert, you would have seen shadows that created a curtain covering the window, thus blocking the moonlight from entering your chamber.

"I have no intention of punishing them, Alina." you tell your sister as you work at the war table. Aleksander's plans were somehow still preserved. And you review them, updating and changing them according to your needs.

"They fought alongside the Darkling. What kind of general are you? What example will you set by not punishing those who defied the crown and followed their Black General?"

"That's why I have no intention of doing anything about it, your majesty. You were Grisha yourself before you lost your powers. Whose side would you fight for—the king who hates them or the general who gave them a safe place? And please try to put aside our personal prejudices and see the whole thing, not just a little peace through the prism of your hatred towards him, because we both know damn well that Aleksander was many things. A good commander was one of them."

"I never wanted to be a Grisha." Alina says this with pain in her eyes. You know this very well. You wouldn't have wanted to be a Sankta or general either... if it weren't for Aleksander.

"But you were. You can't just forget about that, Sol Koroleva."

"You're definitely not making it easy for me." she sighs tiredly, smiling at you. She sits down in the chair next to you and takes your hand. "If I could turn back time and... not bring Mal back to life and not lose my power, I would. I wouldn't leave you alone with this, you know, right?"

"I know... but that's not how things went..." you say, swallowing, as you let go of the papers and look at your sister. "But that's okay. I will keep an eye on your children and grandchildren... Maybe one of them will become the next Sun Summoner? Who knows?" you laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but by the look Alina gives you, you know that your tone wasn't as carefree as you wanted it to be.

"Y/N... I'm sorry." you interrupt her before she begins to pity you, before her compassion overwhelms you to the point where you sink into your own pain and suffering, which inevitably entails an eternity ahead of you. And that was just the beginning.

"You don't have to... I... I can always die somehow. I don't have to live forever."

"We both know that's not in your blood to give up. You will fight till the end... till Grishas and Ravkans will live as equals in a safe country."

"Maybe yes... or maybe I will throw it all to hell and go around the world. I remember that Kaz once proposed to me to join their little group of thieves. It could be fun."

You both laugh at that. Then Alina gives you a sad, apologetic look before asking you a very dangerous and… hurting question.

"Do you miss him? Aleksander?"

A dead silence falls between you after her whispering question. As if his name were something forbidden to say out loud between you two. You play with the sleeve of your white kefta with gold embroidery, wondering how to answer this obvious question.

"Sometimes... but I guess it's only because I don't want to... to be alone like him..."

"Did you love him? At the day I killed him?" she asks, assuming that you stopped loving him at the moment he stopped breathing; at the moment when his black, poisoned by Merzost heart stopped beating… as it was just that simple for you to forget about him. The man who made you who you are now. The man who was first to show you how extraoridnary you are. Who understood you more than your sister - your supposed closest person in the world.

"I care more to have someone by my side through all of this that's about to happen… someone who will stay for longer than almost a century. I guess I'm starting to understand why he was chasing after us… why he wanted us by his side in his damn glorious purpose."

"He was chasing after you. He only cared about you. Not only because you were a Sun Summoner." she says it so lightly and so obviously that you start to wonder if she's deliberately trying to break you.

But if Aleksander taught you anything, it was how to keep your true emotions deep inside your heart. So you put your lips into a mocking smile and reply to her in a joking tone.

"Maybe. We will never find out. Anyway, I don't want to."

Fedyor's and Ivan's arrival rescued you from this unconvenient conversation. You nod to Alina as she leaves. She gives Ivan a hating, untrusyful look before guards close the door behind her. You look at the two heartrenders.

"It's good to see you both. I have some questions about these plans, and as general Kirigan's closest people, I assume, you both can explain some things to me, which I don't quite get right now."

You clear your throat, trying to forget about what you and Alina were talking about and focus on what the two men in front of you are saying. But it's hard to look at the Dark General's notes and plans and just not think of your Aleksander... Especially when those damn wooden soldiers are just as spread out on his war table as they were on the night of the Winter Fiesta when you run away from him.

And you have neither the heart nor the strength to move it to another place…

"Fedyor, can you leave us both for a while? You can wait for Ivan behind the door." you say after you've gotten through most of the stuff. Fedyor gives you a surprised look but doesn't question your order. He goes out, leaving you with Ivan, who has been giving you an unfavourable, almost hostile look since he sat down in the chair. You wouldn't care if the situation didn't require you to cooperate with him. After all, he was Aleksander's right-hand man. He probably knew the most about war tactics in the entire Second Army. And now that the fold was gone and you had to defend and fortify yourselves on all fronts, you would need all the help you could get. "Why are you looking at me like that? What's your problem?" you ask the heartrender, watching him carefully.

You both stared at each other for a moment. Ivan tries to hold back something, but the moment he notices Aleksander's ring—the only souvenir you let yourself leave after him—something inside him breaks.

"How dare you sit in his chair, having his tittle, want to do exactly the same things in the Second Army, using the same tactics as he did? You all are no different from him. Actually, you are much worse, and you call him a monster when everything he did was for us. For our safety, so that we can finally break free from the power of Otkazat'syas."

"I know you were loyal to him, but..."

"He had done nothing wrong. And you know it." he cuts you off before you can say anything else. The feeling of guilt awakens within you again, the uncomfortable lump in your throat every time you talk to someone about him growing stronger again. "I hope you also know that you and your sister destroyed everything he was working at. That Ravka will spill blood under your rule. That Lantsov prince will be the same as his father, as every king from their dynasty was."

"Be careful how you talk to me. I am your general now, Ivan. You should probably get used to it, before I change my mind and let Alina execute you." you say it coldly and grab a glass from the table to drink the whisky. "You can leave now."

"Of course, general." he said coldly, but before he stood up to leave, he put a black envelope on your desk.

"What is that?" you ask him, but he just bows to you and leaves. Only when the door closes behind him with a bang do you allow yourself to take the envelope in your hands.

Seeing Aleksander's seal—the eclipsed sun—makes you release the envelope from your hand as if it was burning you. You let it fall to the desk; your eyes focused only on it.

You hold your breath as your fingers land on the seal and stroke it tenderly. You remember the first letter you received from him... right after your first night together, when he had to leave the Little Palace for a while on important matters. He wrote to you every day until he came back again, heading straight into your arms and ignoring the fact that the General of the First Army and the colonels were waiting for him in the council chamber.

With trembling hands, you take the dagger and cut the envelope at the top so as not to break the last seal he left behind and get into the contents of the envelope.

A pendant falls from the envelope with a clatter onto the table. You leave the envelope with the letter and take the pendant in your hands, looking at it carefully.

It is a silver, convex oval with some vines engraved on the front, decorated with small, round pieces (your favourite gemstone). Initials are engraved on the back: A.M. You huff, realising that even in death, he wanted to make sure you were his in some way. And you're about to put the pendant down and hide it somewhere, where you would never find it again, but then suddenly you press something and it opens.

You gasp as you see what's hidden inside. Bone. A medium-sized, most likely from a wrist, finger, or other small part of the skeletal system.

You rummage through the envelope, and, apart from the letter, you find a small note that was probably attached to the necklace.

In case you need a reminder of your real power...

You lift the bone and feel your power flow through you, amplified. You sigh, feeling just like those months ago when his skin pressed against yours as he let you draw on his empowering abilities. You feel a tear roll down your cheek as you tremble with an overwhelming, long-forgotten feeling.

A knock on the door makes you panic, opening your desk drawer and gathering all your items into it. You close the drawer just as Zoya walks in, followed by your colonels. You rub your forehead, mentally getting ready for the next meeting.

However, you can't stop thinking about the envelope and necklace from Aleksander hidden in the drawer.

And if you were more observant, you would notice how shadows are hiding in the corner of the war room, watching you attentively, waiting for the right moment when they can come out of their hiding place. Or at least a bee that flew out of an open window.

You lie in your bed late at night. You stopped trying to fall asleep a long time ago. You laied on your back, breathing calmly with your eyes closed as you were wondering about the new informations from the camps close to the border.

The war was comming. You had right. Aleksander had right. Fjerdans and Shu-Hans wanted to use occasion and attack Ravka, since a fold has gone and now nothing stopped them from attack a West Ravka. If you lost your ports and supplies of food, raw materials and gold, you will lose that war and many will lose their lifes.

You were laying there, wondering about your next move in upcoming war. You shiver suddenly, feeling oddly. A strange chill spread through your body as you went into a more alert mode.

Subconsciously, you look around in the dark, trying to spot the dark, familiar irises. You're doing it under some irrational delusion that he is able to observe you even when he is dead. That he can watch your every move even though you watched his body burn...

Although he has already proved many times in his long, many-centuries life that he is capable of anything he wants...

With a flip of your wrist, a ball of light appears in a room. There was no one. Just you and your paranoya You frown and remove the ball of light as you lay back on the bed.

You sigh heavily, lying on your side. You watch a candle burning on the nightstand on the side that used to be Aleksander's. You watch the fire for a moment, admiring the colours of the flame and how it goes along with a soft wind from the opened window, and then blow it out. You close your eyes, listening to your surroundings, and just as you're about to drift off into blissful unconsciousness, you hear something like a cold whisper in your ear, which makes you shiver.

They are going to lose. They can't rule this country. They know nothing about the pain of war.

That tought appear in your mind, sounding extremaly like somebody you used to know very well... you shake your head. You were not going to imagine his voice on your head. You weren't go mad, were you?

Besides, that was a stupid tought. You will figure it out with Alina and the rest, just as you always do. Grishas will be safe. You will sacrifice your life to make it happen. Horrifyingly, you realise that someone before you has taken a similar oath.

Yet still, you can't help but look at the side of your chamber where Aleksander's letter is, hidden in your desk's drawer. You are so tempting to read it, even after all that happened between you both.

"Get out of my head." you whisper to yourself, as he was still linked with you somehow. As he was still able to appear in a room with you at any second.

You missed him. You admit it to yourself in the darkness of the bedroom you two used to share. But that didn't mean that you would bring him back in some way. He was too dangerous for the good of other people and too unpredictable. Irronicaly, he cared too much. And you were afraid that you were inevitably walking in his path; you were in the same place as he was all those years and centuries ago. But, contrary to him, you will have no one by your side. You will be utterly alone.

You try fall asleep, closing your eyes and ignoring the tears that fall on your pillow. If you learned anything from Aleksander, it was to let no one witness your suffering. They wouldn't understand your pain anyway.

There were no others like you. And there will never be ever again…

Against your better judgement, you quickly get up from the bed, and, before you can change your mind, with a ball of white light in your hand, you walk to the desk, illuminating your path.

You open the drawer and pull out that damned letter, hoping that reading it will give you some kind of closure you need.

You hold it with trembling hands, trying to ignore the fact that Aleksander's familiar handwriting was less refined and more cursive and simpler. There were also black traces of his blood in some places on the page. Even before you start reading, your heart sinks as you think about how Merzost was slowly killing him, as he was completely alone after Baghra's death—as alone as you are now.

And the first line is enough to bring the first pitiful tears to your eyes.

Moya milaya. Moya soverenyia,

The damn bastard knew you would take over his position. He was probably having a lark in hell right now, watching you cry over his letter, how you regretted every decision you made that got you here, and how you tried so hard to hate him with all your heart, but you just simply couldn't. And that made you hate yourself more when, despite everything, you entered the trap he had prepared specially for you while he was still living and clutched the letter in your hands, trying to read it despite the tears constantly appearing in your eyes and blurring your vision.

He wrote to you what you have already heard. That he isn't sorry, that he would do the exact same things except that he would make you his equal, that he wouldn't let you escape his grasp so easily, that he would kill all your loved ones just to be your only shelter where you could go in case of any danger, or simply when you were too overwhelmed by loneliness, like he was many times in his very long life.

And you should hate him. You should be disgusted by this toxic relationship, by his obsessive desire for possession, and by his fear of abandonment. And you could already feel yourself being filled with spite and resentment towards this man, a man who had ruined the relatively peaceful lives of you and your sister... But as you read the last lines of his letter, your feelings towards him became more unclear than before reading that damn letter.

I will be waiting for you. With open arms.

Maybe time will help you realise that there is no other way and that my actions will be yours in the future… that I was not the villain in this story, even if I seemed to be a monster to you, my little Sankta.

Maybe you will finally come to accept that you and I are unity and that we belonged to each other even before the saints decided to create the two of us.

Eya fyela chi(I love you), moya solnyshka.

I always did.

Yours,

Aleksander

You didn't sleep anymore that night. Instead, you lie in bed, your thoughts filled with this damn man who, even after his death, continues to abuse your already bleeding heart for him.

Midnights become your afternoons, that were the hours when your brain works best. You stoped burning candles at night. Surprisingly, you were thinking much better when you were in complete darkness, where the only light comed from the moon shining through the open balcony door.

You spent many nights in bed writing in a notebook, taking notes and plans that came to you as the moon hung in the sky and most of the Little Palace fell asleep.

It has become your little ritual. You sipped kvass or whisky, thinking of military tactics and other manoeuvres in case Ravka was attacked by its neighbors. You often had Aleksander's old notes spread around you. And even more often, you twirled his necklace in your fingers as you pondered over your plans.

You stopped visiting Alina in the Grand Palace. You were less and less likely to be seen by her side. But you were almost always in Alexander's library, the war room, and the training field, looking after the young Grishas who trained under the supervision of Ivan, Fedyor and Zoya.

Without knowing why, you always waited until dusk. It was your favorite time and you couldn't even say why…

Maybe if you noticed that every time you fell asleep, tired, over your notebook, thoughts that didn't belong to you suddenly appeared on the paper; maybe if you noticed how your rooms were covered with more and more shadows night after night, blocking out the moonlight, to get you to sleep faster; and maybe if you noticed how the blanket wrapped tighter around you as you drifted off to sleep and your forehead was tickled by the touch of something soft and warm; then you would realise what was inevitably to come.

Or rather, who kept his eyes on you each night, hidden in the darkness and shadows of the chamber...

Kissing someone else's lips seemed sacrilegious to you. You felt like you were doing something wrong, like you were desecrating and breaking all moral laws. But after all, you were a free, single woman, a general leading her people to war.

You could have relaxed and slept with some handsome Inferni who offered to worship his saint, couldn't you?

As it turned out, you couldn't.

You kissed the man hungrily and threw off his kefta. The moment he reached for the buttoms of your own, he unexpectedly stumbled and fell straight into the spear that was in the rack for swords and other weapons.

You stood there in shock for a moment, wondering how on earth he did this. And if you had been more attentive, you would have noticed how the shadows quickly fled from your gaze, and two dark eyes watched intently as you helped Inferni stop the bleeding enough for him to make it to the healers' tent.

You sigh in frustration as the man disappears from your sight. You clean up his blood and wash your hands before taking off your clothes.

It gives you chills. Not because the cold air of the tent hits your hot skin, but because you feel a slight tickle at the most sensitive point of your neck.

You turn and look around the tent carefully.

For the past few weeks, as soon as you left the Little Palace, you had a strange feeling that something was fleetingly brushing against you from time to time. The feeling of this strange, ghostly touch accompanied you both day and night, whenever you were alone with your thoughts. You thought it was some kind of paranoia and tried to brush this feeling off. After all, no one could touch you if you were clearly alone in the room, with no sign of another living soul.

Once you're sure you're alone, you rub your hands over your arms. Your arousal and desire quickly fade as you remember the battle that awaits you tomorrow—the first as a general of the Second Army. You make sure your weapons and combat kefta are ready and in place before you go into bed and fall into a fitful sleep.

A few hours later, as you lie there, dreaming deeply, your tent fades to black. From the shadows emerged none other than Aleksander.

The man slowly walked towards you, careful not to make any move that would increase your vigilance. Ever since you left the walls of the Little Palace, it has become easier and easier for him to make his way to you, thanks to the bond he established between the two of you by giving you a piece of his bone in a necklace.

It boiled inside him when he saw you with another man. He acted rashly and instinctively, pushing him onto the spear. He was glad that you were careless enough not to notice his presence.

You weren't ready. Not yet.

And this time, he knew better than to push you forcefully into his plan.

"My little Sankta." he whispers, his hand gently brushing your curves hidden from his eyes under the blanket.

He doesn't do anything inappropriate. He would never take advantage of you or touch you against your will... well, at least not in any invasive way. He had several scenarios prepared in his head about how the night would go, when you would finally admit your true feelings and abandon the façade of a righteous Sankta of Ravkans and Grishas.

"Soon you'll realise what you're really missing." he whispers as his fingers tips caress the skin of your collarbones.

He picks up the necklace he gave you that you wore around your neck. He lets his shadows surround you, allowing the moonlight to shine on you enough for the silver pendant to reflect it, making it seem like it was glowing, as if it were a source of your powers.

"I will wait for you… until you finally come to me willingly and accept the obvious truth—that we belong together. I promise you, moya milaya, I won't let you forget this even for a moment. You're mine. You were mine the moment you entered that damn tent—the moment our eyes met before you went on the ship through the fold. You can't deny the connection between us. And soon, you will come to accept that you need a monster by your side. That without me, there will only be suffering, loss, and eternal struggle waiting for you. I've spent centuries struggling with all of this and much more… let's see how long this charming and annoying stubbornness of yours will last, lapushka. I have all the time on earth to watch you struggle with the hatred of this world all alone…"

He pulls the blanket tighter around you and takes the opportunity to inhale your scent, which he had missed so much during those months he had been hanging between the worlds of the living and the dead. He clung to his life with his claws... just to be this close to you again. And he knew he would do the exact same thing in a heartbeat if it led him close to you.

"And in time, when you realise that your little friends of yours are not enough for you, I will be back to you. And I will take you into my arms without hesitation. We are destined to be together. Sweet dreams, moya soverenyia." he whispers and places a tender kiss on your forehead.

You jump out of bed, screaming. You take a few quick breaths and put your hand to your mouth, trying to calm yourself down and not let the tears fall. Your tent is in complete darkness as you try to calm down from your nightmare in which all of your Grishas died in the battle, in which everyone blamed you and started to hunt you and chase after you, just like the king once chased after Aleks...

You let yourself cry silently into your pillow, unaware of the figure sitting next to you and a lifting hand that was just above you, moving as if stroking your back soothingly.

Eventually, you fall asleep, shaking. The shadow of your enemy and lover watches over you and keeps an eye on you without you being even slightly aware of it.

Two years, four months, one week and three days. That's how long the war with Fjerda and Shu Han lasted.

That's how long it took them to take over Ravka.

You have failed. Both the First and Second Armies.

Nikolai was dead. Alina was either dead or in hiding like you, although judging by the recent public execution of Zoya and Alina's other guards, you suspect they had her locked up somewhere until they caught you.

And they were doing very well, considering you were currently running through the forest, escaping from a group of Drüskelles.

You ran through the forest, the cold air stinging your hot cheeks as you made your way through the snowdrifts, occasionally sending a ball of light behind you to daze your pursuers and lose them, if only for a moment. But covering up your tracks was the worst thing—a nuisance worse than the cold seeping into your bones through your soaked clothes.

You hear a gunshot. You groan as the bullet bounces off your kefta, most likely adding another bruise to your collection.

Then everything happens quickly. You are surrounded and forced to fight with both your power and your melee. You're doing quite well when suddenly one of them twists your arm. You groan in pain and use one hand to summon a cut, but it is so weak that it only reaches the lesser half of the men.

As if in slow motion, you see one of the Drüskells pointing a gun at you. Then the clearing becomes dark. You step back in fear and stumble upon the body of one of the men you killed.

Everything goes quiet. There is a deathly silence in which you can only hear your wheezing and breathing. You summon your light and dispel the shadows to see the last person you expected to see... at least when you are still alive.

"But... I saw your death... I watched you burn..." you manage to stammer.

Aleksander just walks towards you, like it was a casual thing for him to do. His black kefta with gold embroidery is intact, at least compared to yours, which is blackened from bullets and patched in a few places. He looks practically like the day he died... except his face is devoid of black scars.

"Won't you even say hello to me, my Y/N?" he asks maliciously and extends his hand for you to take it and stand up with his help. You've seen this scene before. You've been in this situation before, and you promised yourself that you would never step into the same river again.

"You should be dead." you snap at him coldly and stand up on your own without his help. You see him frown as he takes a closer look at your dilapidated and miserable state as you try to move away from him as far as you can.

"Moya lapushka... do you think I would let something like death to keep me apart from you? That your little Sol Koroleva could ever kill me? After I lived a hundreds lifes? Fake a hundred deaths?" he asks mockingly, walking over to you. He cups your cheek in his hand and strokes it tenderly with his thumb. "No. I have too much experience with eternity, milaya. I promised you that you and I will change the world. I intend to keep that promise. As well as the one where I will always come back to you, remember?"

"You were here all this time... you watched me..."

"Simply keeping an eye on you." he interrupts you, and you give him a mad look, knowing full well that he's lying as you realise that all the random things and disasters that were happening around you were his fault... just like the few times you felt someone's ghostly touch on you. "Well... maybe I had also done a little bit more. But don't dramatise... after all, I have to look after what's mine."

"I was never yours." you say furiously, causing a hostile tension to arise between the two of you.

His presence brings you some relief, despite everything. But you know this feeling too well; you know HIM too well to let him manipulate you so he can use you in his plans again.

"Leave me. Live your life. I doubt anyone would be insane enough to resurrect you a second time." you growl angrily and run past him, hitting his shoulder with yours.

Before you can get away, he grabs your elbow. You hiss in pain, making him automatically let go of you. But he steps closer to you and carefully grabs your wrist, observing the blood seeping from your forearm and the swollen, bruised elbow—the result of your hand being twisted and falling to the ground—and the hard roots of the tree that had somehow broken through the now-red snow.

"You need a healer." he says calmly. He seems worried, as he is trying to stop the bleeding from your wound.

"I can handle it. Let me go." you say firmly. His dark-brown eyes meet yours, and you mentally curse yourself for how they can still charm you.

"Let me help you." he says it with such tenderness that you want to immerse yourself in his sweet words again, to surrender to that attraction that has always been present between you. "You don't have to be alone, moya milaya."

"I'm not alone." you deny quickly. However, you give in partially when the logical part of you allows him to give you a band-aid; this is something you are willing to accept from him.

"Aren't you, Y/N? Don't you feel a the weight of the fate of all Grishas on your beautiful, delicate shoulders? Haven't you misssed me all these single nights? When you were dreaming of my touch, of my voice..."

"And where were you when I really needed you?! When your people were dying on the borders! When innocent people died when they took Ravka! Where the hell were you then?!" you shout at him in anger and move away from him before he can tie a makeshift sling around your arm from the black shawl he untucked from around his neck.

"Making sure that YOU will not kill yourself, while playing a hero." he replies calmly, his gaze unwavering on you as his composure throws you even further off balance.

"If you care about me so much, why didn't you stand by my side? Why didn't you help me save Grishas?"

"You said yourself that you don't need a monster. That you can handle it perfectly well on your own, little Saint. I told you and tried to warn you that you can't do it on your own, and neither can I. But you had to be stubborn. These are your words: 'Let them come.' I did. I let them come. Are you satisfied?"

"You let all these people die to just prove your point?" you ask, shocked. He takes advantage of your momentary lapse in vigilance to bandage your arm and place it in a sling made of his black shawl.

"No. I let all these people die to make you see the truth that you are trying to avoid so hard."

"Which is?"

"Don't pretend, moya milaya. I am a patient man, but we lost enough time. Can you honestly claim that you are against me? That you would choose these fools over me again? That you didn't wish to have an equal again? Someone who will stand by your side no matter what? Someone who will protect you? I can be all of this to you and even more. All you have to do, lapushka, is accept that we are all we need. That you and I was enchanted to unite a long time ago. I want you to see all these things from my side of the story, to understand why I did what I did, and why I intend to continue what I have planned."

He talks so smoothly about death, as if it were nothing. And you would have the right to feel outraged by this fact and hate him again if the smell of the metallic blood of the people who hunted you wasn't in the air. People you killed without blinking an eye.

As he caresses your cheek tenderly and stares at you with affection and an understanding you haven't seen in anyone else's face since his death, you can't help but wonder... if he was actually right when he said that in time his actions would be yours.

He leans closer to you. Your noses brush as he rests his forehead against yours. You shiver, feeling his warm breath on your cheek.

"Aleksander..." you whisper shakily as his scent reaches you, his warmth warming your body, frozen from the cold and the exertion of running away. You feel like you're just realising that he's really here. That he's alive.

And you welcome the familiar tingle of your power inside you that he brings back to life with his amplifier powers as his lips capture yours.

And you wanted to move away. Really. You wanted to remain indifferent towards him and laugh at him for still feeling something for you. Scold him for even hoping that you would just melt back into his touch after what happened between you, how he hurt you, and how obsessive and possessive he was.

But all you do is moan against his lips as you respond to his kiss.

It's not one of those hungry, greedy kisses stolen in moments when you were completely alone and couldn't fight the growing tension between you any longer and just had to release it by consuming each other with your desires.

It's gentle, so much so that you're afraid that the butterfly feeling of his lips on yours will disappear in any moment and you'll find that he never came back, that he was just a sweet, cruel delusion of your exhausted mind.

But the moment he tangles one of his hands in the hair at the back of your head and puts the other on your waist to press you against the tree so gently as to not hurt you accidentally, you know it's real. And you can't stop responding to his kiss or pretending that you don't want to caress his lips with yours just as passionately. Or pretend that the thought of pulling away isn't sinful to you.

You pull away from each other after a long moment. Not far, though. His nose brushes against yours as you breathe heavily, both of you with your eyes closed, drinking in the other's warmth and scent after so many years of fighting with each other and your desires... after so many years of being utterly alone.

Your shaky breaths come out of your mouths in grey clouds and merge together. Only now do you notice how warm he is compared to you.

"Come. You can't stay here." he says, taking off his warm coat with black fur sewn to the hood. He puts it on you and pulls the hood over your head.

"You don't need to..." he interrupts you, picking you up in bridal style. He holds you close to his chest and walks in a direction unknown to you, a clear plan etched on his face as he scans the surroundings for any danger in your path. "Hey! Put me down! I can walk by myself! Besides, I don't want to go anywhere with you!" you protest, struggling in his arms.

"I know, milaya. Rest. I promise I won't do anything you don't want me to. I'm just making sure you will be safe when I'm gone. That's why I'm taking you to Grishas' camp. They will cure you there. Besides, your followers anxiously await your return, my little Saint. You are their only hope now."

"When you gone?" you ask slightly panicked and shift your gaze to him.

The weight of responsibility settles on your shoulders once again as you realise how many lives are counting on you... and the one person you can look to for support is, inconveniently, now something of an enemy to you.

But... can you feel towards your enemy the way you feel for him? Can you kiss an enemy as passionately as you did just a second ago? Can an enemy look at you with such care and adoration?

"Do you wish me to stay with you, lapushka?" he glanced at you briefly, just enough to ask you his question.

A dead silence falls between you. You don't need words to understand each other. And it was something that had always both terrified you and made the bond between you more and more irresistible. He knows the answer to your question. He knows you'll never admit it out loud. Or at least not at this moment.

Despite all this, he still holds you close. He leans down to place a kiss on your temple and whispers in your ear:

"I am... a very patient man, Y/N... I can wait, and I will. You will come to me yourself. And when you did... you wouldn't be able to resist or deny the truth about your feelings for another damn second. I will have you by my side. I can assure you that it will happen sooner than you think or are willing to admit."

You don't argue with him anymore. You just don't have the strength. Instead, you lean against him and fall asleep, wrapped in his scent, his warm coat, and his arms that make you feel safe. You decide to hate yourself later for what you feel right now.

After so many years, months, weeks, and days of fighting for your people and country completely on your own, you could afford the comfort of feeling his arms around you for just another few minutes, couldn't you?

It's been three months since you last saw him.

He left you at Grishas' camp just before the sun rose with a kiss on your forehead and a promise that you would meet again and that you would call for him again. Which you highly doubted. You already despised yourself and him enough to stay away from him... or at least pretend that's what you wanted.

During this months, you managed to save and lose many people—many good soldiers. And although you don't want to admit it, this time it makes you even more aware of the truth that Aleksander was trying to drill into your head before you destroyed the fold.

You wandered around like a child in the fog, trying to keep your morality, set an example for people, and play the role of a Sankta who abhors all evil and darkness. Only he had survived enough to know that morality could only be keept in human conditions—when you didn't have to worry about food, a warm place to sleep, or whether every breath you took wouldn't be your last.

But what really broke you wasn't the constant death, suffering, and screaming around you. It was the news of Alina's death.

It was this terrible emptiness, this feeling of helplessness and loneliness that grew inside you with each day, with each Grishas lost, with each drop of blood that soaked into your kefta.

And then you gave up.

"You won! Do you hear me?! YOU WON!" you screamed in your room at the camp after you returned from another mission to rescue imprisoned Grishas, which ended in the bloodiest of all. Which ended with the death of the last person you cared about. "Just come here… I can't… Aleksander, please. Please, I need you."

In your rage, you throw the bottle of alcohol against the wall and scream, falling to your knees. You wrap your arms tightly around yourself and cry, feeling the dried blood on your clothes.

You have enough. You had enough of this war. You didn't want to see your friends lose their lives. You were fed up with constant wars, fighting, and deaths around you.

You only knew one thing: you couldn't stand this alone. You simply must have had him by your side again Somoeone who will stay by your side and simply just be there for you. Someone who won't require you to save the world all by yourself.

"Aleksander, I beg you... please..." you whisper desperately while holding a pendant with his bone tightly in your hand. Maybe the fact that you never parted with that stupid necklace was a sign of what was inevitably to come.

Your failure. Your ruin.

But still, all you can do is melt into his arms as he comes to you through your bond and embraces you, pulling your shaking body into his lap and as close to him as possible.

"Shhh... it's okay, moya milaya, you are safe." he whispers in your ear as he holds you close to his chest with a hand on you mouth so you can make a sound. "As long as I am here, nothing will happen to you. You are not alone anymore and you never will be again, lapushka."

He strokes your hair and whispers words of comfort. A sweet nothing meant to calm you down. You still can't tell whether he does it out of love or because he needs you in his plans. And the scariest thing was that you didn't care as long as he held you, stayed by your side and didn't let you be alone.

If you were any less grief-stricken, you would wonder about the irony of this situation. The irony of how he foretold your fate. How he fulfilled his promise. How he became your only shelter.

"I will take care of everything. I'm not going anywhere. It is you and me, my Y/N. It's only you and me against them all. And we are all we need anyway. I will take good care of you, solnyshka. No more tears; no more lies and betrayals. Our life together is getting started exactly right now. And I can already promise you it will be an incredible future... moya tsaritsa. Ravka will be ours. We will free our people. We will made all of them pay for what they did to our kind. Grishas will enter their golden age under our rules. Nothing will stop us."

"Just... please come back." you sob into him. He tightened his arms around you and pressed his lips against your temple.

"I'm on my way, lapushka." he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear.

You shiver as the warmth of his arms suddenly disappears, and you're left alone, kneeling on the cold floor. You couldn't afford even the slightest remorse. All you could think about, and all you could wait for, was the moment he would come back here in the flesh.

You realised that loneliness was too dangerous an enemy for you that you (or anyone) were unable to defeat. Aleksander has been patiently waiting for years for you to come to this conclusion. A conclusion he understood the moment you fled the Little Palace with Alina and the crows, just before he could have a proper chance to propose to you.

But this time, he won't make that mistake again. He won't let you go of his grip once you came back to him.

The world needs a monster.

You understood his words the moment you created your own fold. A fold of white, pure light which killed anyone who tried to walk past it.

You saw the fear in everyone's eyes. Even your Grishas, whom you swore to protect. Only Aleksander's dark irises stared at you with admiration. Only he doesn't turn away from you, doesn't show any traces of dread.

Only he was brave enough to walk to you, and after that, he kissed you greedily after you all realised you won. Ravka belonged to Grishas. And the new fold that you create will make sure no one will ever think of attacking your people again.

And now you were standing in front of the mirror in the Little Palace. Your people bravely dismantled what was left of the Grand Palace and worked to rebuild the house of Grishas and expand it.

You were entering a new era. And the flags with the eclipse of the sun that now fluttered on the masts of the palace reminded you of that, as did your black and gold dresses, keftas, and the crown that had recently become an extra burden on your head. Just like two rings on your finger.

"I knew you would look stunning in the crown, moya Sol Koroleva." he whispers, making you shiver at his sudden presence. He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing you against his chest. Shadows circle lazily around you as his dark eyes catch yours in the mirror.

"You could at least pretend you didn't plan this from the beginning."

"I didn't plan it. I didn't want to be king. But when the dynasty kept taking advantage of us, I had no other choice. I had to start planning to take over the throne. Taking on the burden of power to make sure that the Grishas are finally treated as they should be. And then you appeared. My sunshine, my ray of hope, my little saint."

"A candidate for your queen and a means to a desired goal." you finish bitterly, resting your head on his shoulder to rest for a moment from the irritating weight of the crown. Looking in the mirror, you reluctantly admit that he looks handsome, dressing all like a king.

"Don't be so mean, milaya. You know very well that you shattered any evil plans I had for you when those lips of yours enchanted me. You made me feel like I could control it all for the first time in hundreds of years. That my plans will finally come true. We've come a long way, my Y/N, but we both know this is where we were meant to be. Next to each other. Equals. Together at the helm of Ravka. We are the only ones who will ever wield such power and who can stand next to each other forever."

You sigh. He is right. He is all you have. And you both know that you won't let go of each other anytime soon. You hated solitude. You knew yourselves so well that even for a second, consider leaving the only person who could ever stick so long with you. The ones who understood and were willing to share the burden the world put on the arms of the two of you.

So you turn in his arms, place your hand gently on his cheek, and after caressing his skin with your thumb, pull him in for a kiss.

He pulls you closer to him; you both need the other's touch and tenderness, the reassurance that after so many wars, fights, and betrays, you are finally together and that you will rely on each other to build the greatness of Ravka, leading your Grishas into the years of glory.

Not just as king and queen, tsar and tsaritsa. But also husband and wife. Partners. Equalls. Summoner of the sun and shadows united for the good of all your people.

"I love you, moi sol ye tselai. My Y/N." he whispers into the skin of your neck, placing kisses, especially where was the necklace he gave you, which you didn't dare to take off for so many years, afraid that the last connection and the memento you had left of him would disappear as soon as you lost it from your sight.

But behind these great goals was one common need, to which you agreed only for yourself. The need to love and be loved. The need to have a shelter that will last through the eternity that awaits both of you. And you finally had to admit that despite the darkness in your life and the problems and disasters mostly caused by your new husband, you couldn't imagine anyone else next to you.

"I love you, Aleksander. I've always have." you admit as his hands roam over you, caressing you. Shadows surround you, creating a protective bubble as you kiss passionately, forgetting about the rest of the world for a moment and you give in to your deepest desires.

The prospect of loneliness and everything that you went through in your life have effectively killed any sense of guilt or morality inside you. You could have allowed yourself that one selfish act. Especially when being with him in the darkness was such a tempting and blissful experience after years of loneliness.

#oneshot #darkling #general kirigan #the darkling #aleksander morozova #aleksander kirigan #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x y/n #shadow and bone #the darkling x reader #darkling x reader #the darkling x you #the darkling x y/n #darkling x you #darkling x y/n #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan x you #manipulation #toxic behavior #toxic relationship #toxic love #dark romance #romance #sab fanfiction

[stromuprisahat]

Alina fails to establish herself as a leader worth following

Siege and Storm- Chapter 13

Why would he? You're just some nobody deserter, who waltzed in as if she owned the place. Last they saw you, you were about to enter and destroy the Fold, then their leader's gone and hunted, more of their people murdered or forced to flee and they're kept hostage in their own home.

Alina headed from Grand Palace directly to Little Palace. Remaining Second Army Grisha are good as prisoners. How would they know they're supposed to kiss her ass now?!

I'm sorry, but did Alina forget to mention different tone of Sergei's question? Because this here reads like mere inquiry of a person trying to get a grasp on situation they're all in.

But of course, Alina's expecting a conflict, so that's what she'll get one way or another.

Touché!

Why is a teen boy with unfinished officer training the most reasonable person in the room? Sure, he counts as an adult, but there are older people with less sense. And apparently he anticipated Alina's new position. If that doesn't spell promissing higher-ranking soldier, I don't know what would.

That's a perfectly good question, Alina.

Either she's forgetting to mention his tone again, or she's hellbent on seeing Sergei as some annoying pest, who deserves to be disregarded.

Sergei has a point once again. I'm beginning to see why he trained for a higher position.

Alina cannot stand being challenged (Now, that it's finally happening.). Instead of soothing their well-funded fears, she's getting angry. And something tells me she's not a person with a firm grip on her emotions...

Again, Alina's pretty focused on viewing Sergei unfavourably.

... and Alina confirms she's completely unfit for the position, if her reaction to challenge is immediately aggression.

She should've answered Sergei's initial questions, soothe his worries, address his pretty fair points- that's what a leader does. It shouldn't come to shouting, AND she should've kept her barking dogs on a leash. THEY'RE HER GUARDS, NOT SPOKESPEOPLE! If she cannot control three guards and possible deserter, how can she expect obedience of a large group of justifiably scared and confused people?!

Words, words, words.

A girl, who just almost killed the lot of them claims their life-long protector's evil, and only SHE can attest to it. Of course they'll follow her now. You don't argue with a psychopath. You don't try to convict a violent madman of their delusion. Certainly not when they're holding a knife.

(For someone, who insists the Darkling ruled through fear, she sure makes a show of avoiding "his" methods.)

What about starting with "The Darkling used the Fold to destroy Novokribirsk."? Power means nothing, if used incompetently.

... or I will have you in chains. Honest at last!

I am a soldier. Since when?! LOL

And how does that have anything to do with the obedience she requires from them?!

Chance makes it sound as if Alina were their saviour. Sure, she believes it, but considering her demonstration a moment ago and the rest of her speech, "option" would be more fitting.

It's understandable Alina's emotional! She almost ~murdered~ someone!

Yeah, but if she wants to lead, she'll have to learn to FACE her fuck ups, not run blindly from them, leaving others to fend for themselves and deal with the consequences...

... and that's almost untrained Alina with two amplifiers and a few dozens disobedient minions.

Now make it three and a whole country. I'm sure she'd make much better ruler than the Darkling could ever hope to become. Kind and peaceful...

On the other hand, it would be amusing to watch from safe distance.

#Grishaverse #S&S Chapter 13 #Alina Starkov #Sergei Beznikov #grishanalyticritical #self centred and paranoid #Second Army #Siege and Storm #Grisha trilogy #V #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo

[bi-bard]

Stay till the End... And After, and Always - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: Stay till the End... And After, and Always

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Sun Summoner!Reader

Word Count: 5,624 words

Warning(s): Mention of Past Trauma [Kaz is damaged as fuck], hallucinations, drugging, canon-typical violence, mention of death

Summary: While on a mission to find and steal the blade sharp enough to kill shadow, Kaz is forced to confront a very real future that may await him.

Author's Note: I warned y'all that I jump around a lot.

Also, the quote as a title thing hasn't screwed me over yet!

**Written in third person**

MORE OF THIS OC HERE!

----------------------

Kaz traced the signature on the letter carefully.

Slowly.

As if the writing alone could bring (Y/n) home to him.

He wondered if it had been their idea to sign the paper or if the royal family had swayed them into it. Not that the origin of the signature matter. What mattered was that it was there at all. That (Y/n) was asking for the Crows to help.

Kaz hadn't heard from them since they separated. He returned to Ketterdam while (Y/n) became committed to the idea of tearing the Fold down. Saving the world.

He could still hear the thoughts nagging at him.

The collection of unspoken words that traced the edge of his tongue, desperate to be spoken to (Y/n) before the two said what could have been their final goodbye. It was a shame that his fear seemed to have such a strong reign over them.

He looked at the visitors in front of him. He could have asked them a million questions. But he didn't. He merely told Nina to have them find a table and that he would be right back.

He knocked on Jesper's door, paying no mind to whatever Jesper yelled from the other side before telling the pair inside to get downstairs. For Ravka's sake.

Now, the Crows sat opposite two of the people working with their missing member. Zoya and Tolya.

Nina stole the note from Kaz's hand, reading it over. She scoffed.

"The Neshyenyer?" she asked. "Sankta Neyar's blade?"

"You haven't forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace," Zoya replied, enough attitude dripping from each word to flood the building. "Just your loyalty to Ravka."

"Ravka or Kirigan?"

Zoya tensed at the mention of the general's name.

"Didn't take him destroying a city or kidnapping the sun summoner from their home for me to question my loyalty."

Zoya rolled her eyes. Nina smirked a little bit wider, quietly thanking the Saints that she had asked Jesper and Inej about (Y/n).

"So, now that we all know that you two have history," Jesper said, trying to ease some of the painfully obvious tension. "Is there a payment for this job?"

"Name your price," Tolya replied. "If it matters to you."

"Lantsov crest," Nina noted. "Hideous."

"The job comes from the sun summoner."

Jesper immediately seemed more than interested in the mission. The mention of the friend that he longed to see was enough for him to be ready to jump on board. Nina looked at the bottom of the letter. There it was. The name of the sun summoner, clear as day.

"The job is to retrieve and deliver the Neshyenyer to (Y/n) (Y/l/n) in East Ravka."

"Why now," Jesper asked.

"The Darkling has returned," Zoya said. "At his side is an army of shadow monsters. Indestructible."

"I don't like the sound of that," Jesper muttered.

"The blade is the only thing that has a chance at killing them."

"Retrieve the blade and Prince Lantsov is ready to pay you whatever you ask," Tolya offered.

Kaz would have done the job for nothing.

He would never admit that, but he was willing to do anything for the chance to have (Y/n) back by his side. After the events of the last few days, he needed something to ground him and felt like (Y/n) was the only person who could truly do that for him. He knew that the first step was to stop the Darkling.

But again, he could never admit that. To anyone.

"I like the sound of that," Jesper replied to Tolya.

Zoya's eyes turned to Kaz. "I assume the same goes for you."

"I'd welcome the chance to help your prince spend his country's money," Kaz said.

Zoya knew immediately that Kaz was that person (Y/n) was so determined to get home to. Yes, the Sun Summoner had mentioned getting back to their family. The small group that protected them. But Zoya could easily see that one of them was far more important than the others. She could hear it in how (Y/n) spoke.

"I don't need kruge," Nina spoke up. "I need to get someone out of Hellgate. The Lantsov must have some strings that they can pull with the Kerch government."

"For a certain Fjerdan?" Zoya tilted her head. "He must be quite the slab of fur."

"The offer is the offer," Tolya steered the conversation away from the two. "Prince Nikolai is a man of his word."

"But we need to go now," Zoya added.

There was merely a short pause before Kaz spoke up. "It's settled. We're in."

"And your Wraith," Zoya asked. "I was expecting to see her."

"She's gone."

"Not yet," Jesper spoke up. "She's-"

"Not an option."

The tone was blunt. Annoyed.

He knew very well that if he showed up with the blade but without Inej, then (Y/n) would only have questions for him. Fears of the worst, anger for his choices. But Kaz had a tight ship to run. He needed to have some kind of order or else all of his planning and cleverness would be for nothing.

The group set plans to leave soon after their very brief meeting. Just enough time to gather what was necessary and sort out who would keep Kaz's new properties from falling into hands even more rotten than his.

Jesper dragged Nina along to see Inej.

She was angry at Kaz's choice. She knew he was upset with her, but she wanted to believe that he would eventually give her some grace. Especially when the job was something that would clearly be important to her.

She scoffed. "'Not an option.'"

"I know," Jesper said. "No idea where he could have gotten that idea from."

"And when I'm done, she'll never be an option again," Nina commented, carefully moving her thumb over Inej's wrist, leaving it looking as if no mark had ever been there.

"Why wouldn't he tell me about a job for (Y/n)," Inej asked.

"I don't think it had anything to do with (Y/n)," Jesper replied. "It's about his control."

Inej scoffed again, clearly getting angrier with Kaz the more she found out about.

"He knows that (Y/n) would be pissed with them if they found out about this," he continued. "I'm guessing that threat will be enough to convince him to think logically about this."

"Saints know that he does enough to push them away without the help of their anger," Nina said, grabbing both of their attention. "He feels so much for them but would rather die than say a thing about it."

Jesper scoffed at the bluntness.

"Was I meant to not say anything about it?" Nina raised an eyebrow. "I spent ages watching him trace their signature like a love-stricken teenager."

"I'm glad that you did," Jesper shrugged. "It was getting painful to watch."

His attention turned to Inej.

"Listen. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I know that you deserve to know why we're doing this. For your Saint. For (Y/n)."

There was a pause before Inej spoke up, "(Y/n) hates being called a Saint."

"And yet they've grown into the role quite naturally."

She let a small, amused grin cross her face.

"I have to go," Nina said after a pause.

She stood up and started to walk out of the small room, grinning and nodding to Inej as she did.

She met Zoya, Tolya, and the other Crows. They were discussing what their next steps were going to be now that Kaz had gotten information from someone.

The Neshyenyer was said to be in Ahmrat Jen.

It took little time for Kaz to know that the blade was a fake.

"We already knew that," Zoya rolled her eyes. "Have anything new to tell us?"

"According to my contacts, it's been stolen by a thief known as The Disciple," Kaz explained. "He had a penchant for stealing Saint-related relics while on jobs."

"A thief and a collector," Wylan asked.

"And retired. But he has put a few pieces of his collection on the black market."

"So, to get to him, we go to his fence," Tolya replied.

"Ohval Saran. She has a tea shop in Bhez Ju. To speak with her, we have to order yellow chrysanthemum tea, off-menu."

While this conversation was taking place, Jesper was with Inej. They talked about a lot. About (Y/n) and Kaz and the job... about the hat that Jesper had found in Inej's place.

Eventually, she agreed to go with them. Kaz's anger and spite be damned. This was about something greater than him. Greater than all of them.

Kaz walked over as soon as he spotted them walking down the steps.

"I see you couldn't help yourself, Jes," he commented, saying the nickname as if it left a sour taste on his tongue.

Jesper merely walked around Kaz, not sparing another glance.

Kaz turned to Inej. "This is what you choose to do with your freedom?"

"I can't think of a way that I would rather spend it," she replied. "(Y/n) needs us. I am going to be there when they tear down the Fold. I promised to be there when they needed me. I won't break that promise because of your foolish anger."

They gathered their passports together and grabbed their supplies.

It didn't take long for Kaz and Nina to find themselves in the small teashop, waiting for the arrival of Ohval Saran.

"How do you think it tastes," Nina asked, staring at the teapot in front of them.

"Like tea," Kaz replied.

She scoffed at him. "Yes, but... is it floral? Bitter? Mildly sweet with notes of buttery-"

"Warm. And wet."

She sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Are you like this all the time or is it just because (Y/n) is gone?"

Kaz rolled his eyes. He was far too busy to entertain Nina's curiosity.

"Saints, does your heart always race when someone says their name," Nina asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kaz replied, not even sparing her a glance. Probably because he thought that it would be too easy to prove he was lying if he did.

"Sure you do," Nina insisted. "I've heard it every time someone brings them up. Your heart races. When they were first taken... Inej and Jesper lost a friend. You lost something more-"

"Can we focus on the job," Kaz snapped. Nina held up her hands to show that she was going to back off.

There was a pause between the two. A long, very quiet pause.

"(Y/n)," Nina muttered quickly. She chuckled at the immediate jump in Kaz's heart rate. "I'm stunned that you haven't broken a rib yet with how hard your heart beats."

"Focus."

"I am focused!"

The two both fell silent again.

Soon enough, Inej was motioning to Kaz that Ohval Saran was near.

Ohval sat across from Kaz and Nina. She dipped the tip of her ring finger into her tea, flicking some off twice before touching her fingertips to her forehead.

Nina copied with no hesitation.

Kaz didn't. Not until he was pressured into the act by Ohval and Nina, who did everything in her power to put on a very convincing husband and wife act.

Kaz took a deep breath before sliding the gloves off of his hands. He mimicked the actions he had seen moments before. A little less smooth than that of Nina and Ohval, but they were done.

"Anyway, our contact mentioned that since The Disciple's retirement, he has periodically parted ways with some of his personal collection," Nina said.

"You're looking for something specific," Ohval replied.

"The Neshyenyer," Kaz answered bluntly.

"The Neshyenyer is at Ahmat Jen."

"From what we understand, that blade is a fake."

"I wouldn't know anything about that."

Kaz noted Ohval motioning towards a server.

"What if we told you that the Disciple could name his price," Nina asked.

"I'd say you have a surprising amount of disposable income... for thieves," Ohval smirked a bit as she spoke.

Nina chuckled. "We're not thieves. We're just collectors."

"I've worked with enough thieves to know them when I see them. If you want the blade, you'll have to steal it from Ahmrat Jen."

Ohval stood up abruptly. Kaz went to follow, only to get run into by a server holding a tray. If his mind hadn't shut off in that moment, then he would have immediately realized it was the same server as earlier. He would put those pieces together later.

Nina touched his hand in the hopes of bringing him back from whatever panicked state he was in.

It didn't work.

Kaz stumbled away from the shop and into the busy street. His breathing was frantic. Uneven, gasping breaths that made him feel like his throat was truly closing up on him. That the touch had caused a genuine allergic reaction.

He continued running into people, which caused more flashbacks of a younger him in that ocean of bodies, which only panicked him more and made it even harder for him to control his movements. And on and on and on the cycle went. It was beginning to seem hopeless to try to calm himself down.

Someone grabbed his arm. If he had been in his right mind, he would have swung his cane at them. But he wasn't. He couldn't do anything to fight back against the person that dragged him into an abandoned alleyway and shoved him against the stone of one of the buildings. He was sitting on the ground, rendered immobile by the fear.

His eyes settled on Inej, who was kneeling next to him after watching the episode break out in the shop.

"You were supposed to follow her," Kaz snapped.

Inej closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry."

Kaz didn't reply. He turned his head away, holding onto his cane a little tighter.

Inej felt some of the anger simmering in her stomach. "I was just trying to ensure that you were alive when we made it to (Y/n)."

She laid his gloves on the ground beside him before lifting herself up and walking away. The Bastard of the Barrel was left to cling to his gloves while trying to calm his breathing.

He slid his gloves over his hands again before lifting himself to his feet and walking away.

The Crows gathered in a small building, gathered around a table. They tried to figure out what could be learned from the very brief meeting.

"Ohval's not just a fence," he said. "She's the Disciple."

"What tipped you off," Wylan asked while Jesper shut the doors.

"Her teacup," Kaz replied. "When she put it down, she did so without making a sound."

"And her heartbeat never fluctuated once," Nina added. "It held at one beat a second like a clock."

"So, she can control her heart rate and her emotions," Tolya said.

"Those are useful skills for a thief," Wylan muttered.

"Now's the part where you tell us where the blade is," Jesper spoke up.

"Ohval has it," Kaz explained. "Her signal to the waitress to spill tea on me told me as much."

"It's as if I know you," Jesper said dramatically.

"And if she's not going to sell it to us, then we'll just have to take it. After Nina and I ordered the Chrysanthemum tea, I had Inej follow the tea shop employee who was sent to notify Ohval."

Inej spoke up after that, "She lives just outside the city. When she stopped at the tea, she placed an order at the apothecary that she'll be picking up tonight. I watched her at home for a while, no one came or went except for her."

"So," Kaz continued. "While she's out of the house, Nina will tail her to make sure that she stays out of the house. The rest of us will grab the blade."

Zoya scoffed at the plan. "You don't seriously expect me to break into this woman's house."

"Why do you think we're here," Jesper asked.

"I'm a soldier, not a thief. Why else would I need you criminals?"

"Oh, there's much less of a difference there than you think," Tolya replied. "Also, these are (Y/n)'s friends. You know... the (Y/n) that's trying to save everyone. Let's not leave bad blood between all of us."

Zoya rolled her eyes. "You just keep eating your walnuts. I'll go with Nina."

Nina choked a bit on the food that she had been eating. She coughed before turning her question to Kaz, "Are you sure that you don't need me?"

"Nina and Zoya will wait for Ohval at the apothecary. Follow her. If she starts heading home, buy us some time. Distract her."

While Nina and Zoya watched over Ohval as subtly as possible, Tolya and the rest of the Crows found themselves outside of the thief's home.

Tolya called it traditional. He claimed that it had a specific layout and used that to outline a plan. Start in the front courtyard, go through the antechamber to the middle courtyard and then to the main chamber. The goal was to sweep the entire house. Check every single place that could possibly be hiding the blade that was needed.

With an emergency set up by Wylan and nothing but the knowledge of the weight of what could happen if they failed, they walked inside.

The front courtyard held nothing of note.

The antechamber seemed as if it was going to be very much the same.

Until everyone but Wylan had stepped in.

Tolya had been focused on a heartbeat off in the distance. He could hear it. Just barely. It was faint. Somewhere farther in the house. He couldn't spend enough time focusing on it before he stumbled onto a board that sank with the pressure of his step.

The doors on either side of the building slid shut, locking. Pulling on them was pointless. They didn't move. Inej tried to stab through one of them. Nothing. Durast-made locks and impenetrable doors. They were stuck.

The trap only got more intricate from there. A collection of gears turning and things shifting was only punctuated by a red gas starting to leak through one of the vents.

Tolya sat down, holding both of his hands over his chest, slowing his heart and his breathing. His goal was to last as long as he needed to in order to survive.

Jesper was the first to collapse. Rough and loud as he crashed to the floor.

Inej was next. She had leaned against the wall, having something to slow her fall.

Kaz was last. He had nothing to cushion his fall. It was loud and harsh. He could have imagined the pain that would radiate along his spine if his mind wasn't gone before then.

Instead, he felt the cold water swallow him as he fell.

He tried to shove himself up. The waves weren't helping him. The harsh landing, the cold temperature, and the rough waves were merely the beginning of his disadvantages in that moment.

The front of his jacket was grabbed and he was dragged to the surface.

He found his brother waiting for him.

Jordie. Cold, clearly soaked to the bone.

And suddenly, Kaz was back in his nightmares. The nightmares that he thought would go away after he rid the Barrel of Pekka Rollins. The nightmares that almost angered him more than they scared him.

"Did you really think that I would go away, brother?"

Jordie's question was left unanswered by him shoving Kaz back below the surface. Kaz tried to take a breath before going under. It only invited more water into his lungs. He was tugged back up again.

"You thought pain was your weakness? You thought you could fix everything broken inside you? You thought vengeance was the answer and still you drown."

Jordie shoved Kaz beneath the surface again, only to pull him back up.

The words became mixed. Kaz couldn't keep the sentences straight. Drowning, vengeance, broken, pain. All of it repeated over and over as his lungs filled with water.

He was ready to give up. To allow himself to drown.

Then, he was dragged out of the water again.

This time, Kaz wasn't met with his brother's face.

He was met with (Y/n)'s.

Not just that, but also warmth. A warmth unlike any Kaz may ever be allowed to know. As if sunlight had been injected into his veins in the hopes of protecting him from the freezing water that had once engulfed him. It moved through his blood slowly, crawling from his toes up his legs along his arms and finally settling in his chest. Armor worn beneath the skin, stronger than that which he already possessed.

(Y/n) grinned at the sight of him. Their hand cupped the side of his face.

He didn't jerk away. He didn't feel the all-too-familiar panic rise in his chest. He didn't feel anything other than their hand. For the first time, he didn't feel too broken for them to look at him with so much... love.

He was never one to concede to the saints' control over the world, but he was ready to get on his knees and beg to never lose that feeling.

The saints didn't give him the chance.

(Y/n) and the comforting warmth were gone far faster than they arrived.

Something was standing behind them. His eyes didn't focus for a moment, but when they did, he was convinced that his blood ran colder than the water he was in. Behind them was the Darkling, staring down at Kaz as if telling him to make sure that he was watching.

Kaz tried to speak. Yell at (Y/n) to turn around. He couldn't. He couldn't force the words out. He couldn't save them.

The Darkling grabbed (Y/n) by the throat, dragging them away from him. They were slammed on the ground, the air effectively knocked out of them.

The last thing that Kaz saw as he sank back into the water was (Y/n) going to defend themself, but the Darkling moving first.

If the water hadn't swallowed him, Kaz would have seen (Y/n)'s death and been able to do nothing about it.

The darkness clouded his vision soon after he sank.

Kaz wanted to yell. Beg. Those words that had been clinging to his tongue since they last saw each other were fighting their way out. No, come back! Please! Come back to me!

He wanted to reach out. For the first time, he truly wanted to reach out and hold onto something.

When the darkness started to fade, Kaz felt a hand touching his face again, but the warmth was gone.

He blinked slowly, allowing the real world to come back into focus.

Inej was kneeling next to him, holding the side of his face with one hand while clasping the other over his mouth.

Once Kaz realized what was happening, he jumped, trying to push the hands off of his skin. He heard Inej's quick apology as he did so.

He stood up, grabbing his cane as he did so.

He ignored the attempt at conversation about their hallucinations. He could see (Y/n)'s face burned to the inside of his eyelids. The shock and pain and... he shook his head. He didn't have time to be consumed by his fear. There was still a job to get done.

"What's the plan," Tolya asked.

Kaz turned away from the wall that he had been staring at. "You said that there was another heartbeat in the house."

"South-east corner. Heartbeat's weak."

"I suspect she built all of this to protect that heart. Along with a different way in to get to it."

They all laid back down in the antechamber. They played dead as long as they could, as long as they needed to.

Ohval walked in slowly, scanning her eyes along the collection of bodies now littered along her floor.

Except for Inej, who dropped down from the rafters behind her. She didn't have much time to move before Ohval kicked her hard enough to send her flying backward out the door that she had walked in.

The rest of the Crows scrambled from the floor as best they could, making it outside to aid Inej in whatever way they could. Except for Kaz, who moved in the opposite direction.

As the fight raged on outside, he found his way carefully to the south-east corner.

He paused in the doorway. He was met with the face of an old man. A man that was clearly nearing the end of his life, sitting in a wheelchair.

Kaz saw the art scattered along the walls. Priceless artifacts. That was enough for one answer to be provided.

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to put together the connection between the man and Ohval.

"Who are you," the man asked Kaz.

"A visitor," Kaz replied. "I'm an art collector from Kerch. I left some friends outside. I was going to track someone down. I think I got lost in the halls."

"Well, you should look for my wife," the man said.

Oh. It clicked in Kaz's head. Every conclusion he needed for the time being.

"I can help you find her."

"Thank you."

Kaz made his way behind the chair, pushing the man back through the halls he had come through. They made it back to the courtyard, where the fight was nearly coming to a close.

"Sweetheart!" the man called. "We have visitors! Art collectors from Kerch!"

"I know, dear," Ohval replied. "I was about to offer them tea."

The others were just pushing themselves off the ground, barely recovering from her attack.

"These are the friends that I told you about," Kaz explained to the man. "They're collectors like me. They'll be pleasantly surprised to meet you... the great thief of the art world. The Disciple."

"That's the Disciple," Jesper asked.

"Have we met before?" the Disciple replied.

"Yes," Kaz nodded. "In your room, just now. And I've met your wife. In Bhez Ju. We had tea there."

"Bhez Ju Museum," the Disciple said. "The support beams are under every second section of the floor. The others creak. Important to know the secrets of a place."

"Truly."

Tolya and Ohval shared a few sentences in Shu before her husband spoke up again, "The Neshyenyer. I stole it for her."

"Please, dear," Ohval tried to stop him.

"It was the last piece I stole before we decided that I should retire. Anyway, you couldn't really call it stealing. It was hers to begin with. She made it."

"I'm sorry," Jesper said. "She made it?"

The Disciple pushed himself from his chair, taking short, staggering steps to get to his wife. "Hours of work. Prayers. And tears. To fight the unkillable army created by the clock worker Kho."

Tolya left out a breathless chuckle at the story that he knew all too well. "Three days and nights she fought the unstoppable soldiers. And when the last soldier fell, she laid down the weapon. And it was named Neshyenyer. 'Relentless'."

Tolya took a knee, bowing his head.

"We are honored to be in your presence, Sankta Neyar."

Kaz took a deep breath as a sudden and strange familiarity crept into his chest. He couldn't place it for a moment, but it soon became clear.

The saint saving the world and the thief that loved them without the status.

It was a mirror.

It was like seeing into a possible future. A future where he and (Y/n) survived the fight against the Darkling and tore down the Fold and saved Ravka. Not only that but managed to find some peace together. In love... accepting... both of them healing from whatever ghosts followed them.

If only time weren't as cruel as it was.

Even if they did both survive the final fight, Kaz would always age faster than (Y/n). (Y/n) could live lifetimes beyond him. Could fall in love with people after him, could find a meaning past him... could leave him behind for someone who could live on their timeline and not his.

A cruel possibility to be confronted with.

He found the rest of the crew kneeling, paying their respects. He bowed his head too.

"Come on, my love," Ohval muttered to her husband. "Let's get you to bed."

Kaz looked at Ohval after her husband had been placed back in his chair.

"This is our sanctuary. Where we can sleep peacefully. Not have to worry about thieves and bandits like you."

"We're not bandits," Kaz replied.

"No one gets past the poison. You're just a child, really."

"A child who understood your weakness."

"Weakness," she scoffed. "Four hundred years I've been alive. I've seen my family, my loved ones die. I spent hundreds of years with my heart closed as if that was the solution to ending all pain. What a safe way to live... what a small way, as well."

She looked back at Kaz. He wondered how much of his thoughts were clear to her, even with his attempts to hide them so deep within himself. Her face showed that she had caught something in his eyes that he didn't mean to show.

"You guard against pain, you guard against joy. But when you allow yourself to be blindsided by love... two worlds make a universe. He's not my weakness. He's my universe. And I will see him through his days. Sharing every moment until he is part of the night sky."

There was a spike in Kaz's heart rate. Nina heard it. As if she had been tuned into its change. It was nearly the exact same spike as when someone would speak (Y/n)'s name. She hid a small grin. What was the thought that crossed the man's mind?

Kaz knew that answer. It would continue to blare in his mind for ages. Would (Y/n) choose him over a life alone, yet safe? And better yet, would he allow (Y/n) to choose him if he could already predict the pain that he would bring them in the end?

"What do I care about the blade?" Ohval continued. "What do you care about the blade?"

"The Darkling has created an unkillable army made of shadow. Your sword is the only one sharp enough to cut them down."

"That sounds like Ravka's problem."

"You think he would be stopped by a line on a map?"

"I think I can still kill you where you stand before you can blink."

"Sankta Neyar," Tolya stood. "I have met the Sun Summoner who will take leadership in Ravka if the Darkling is gone. I can promise that they are benevolent. They want to finally bring peace... end the suffering that the Darkling has caused. But that can only be done if you grant us use of the blade."

"Use of it," she asked. "All this just to borrow the blade?"

"All this just to protect your husband in his sleep?"

"And why are you searching for the blade?" she countered, eyes turning to Kaz again. "What is your motivation for all of this?"

It was all the confirmation that Kaz needed to know that she understood him. Understood his thoughts while he watched her and her husband. She wanted to prove a point. They were both fighting for their person. The one thing in this universe that was more important than anyone else. That she and Kaz were one and the same.

"We all fight for what matters most," Kaz said simply.

"And on my life, I will make sure that the blade is returned to its rightful home," Tolya promised. "With you, Sankta Neyar."

"Ohval," she corrected. "The last thing I need are pilgrims crowding my gate."

"Is it time for bed now, darling," her husband asked.

"All of you, out," she instructed the group. "Except for you... the one with the hat. I'll give the blade to you. Alone."

One and the same, yet not similar enough.

Kaz walked out reluctantly, leaving Jesper alone to wait for the blade.

It was sunrise when Jesper came out again. He gave the blade to Inej. She was better to handle the blade than him.

They all walked off together, taking the time to have their own conversations. Wylan with Jesper, Nina with Zoya and Tolya, Inej with Kaz.

Kaz and Inej passed Wylan and Jesper, who seemed to finally be working out whatever had happened during the trip.

"Everyone's lost their minds," Kaz muttered.

"We all did in there," Inej replied.

Kaz paused for a moment. "Maybe I did see something, through the haze of the poison."

"The one that you're fighting for?" Inej tilted her head a bit. She knew that he wouldn't admit it. He couldn't admit his feelings for (Y/n) to himself, let alone her. His silence was all that she needed to be certain of that much.

"What did you see," Kaz asked.

Inej grinned to herself. She considered telling him. But her mind was riddled with him reminding her how foolish hope was. How her vision of her family would do nothing but spark another lecture of sorts.

"Couldn't make out a clear image," she said simply. The image she saw was only for her to know. "More important things to worry about now, aren't there?"

The group continued their walk to the Hummingbird.

This was merely the first part of their job. The second part was going to be far worse. They were all aware of that. But at the end of the day, their fear didn't matter.

This was one of the occasions when the greater good triumphed over any fear or hesitation.

----------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#x reader #imagine #fanfiction #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader

[aleksanderscult]

Part 1 of Aleksander Morozova being a jealous bitch

Here's a long ass meta (I awaited for this moment for so long) where I'll post and comment each scene where the Darkling gets jealous. 'Cause let's be real, we love to see it.

Cut below since it's too long (he seriously gets jealous even five minutes in every scene he appears🤦)

(Part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 and the bonus content btw🖤)

Let's dive in!

"A grim smile playing on his lips."

Yeah it's grim 'cause he forces himself to smile in order to hide the pain and hurt from just seeing the girl he unintentionally fell in love with have a romantic scene with a deserter tracker, but still be doesn't succeed in putting a good i-dont-give-a-fuck show so now we have this failed effort.

Next!

Translation: "Are you so loyal to her? Willing to do anything for her? LIKE I WAS??"

The low-key spite and snide that comes out here is *CHEF'S KISS*.

Aside from the jealousy matter, the Darkling here tries to manipulate Mal by using fear. With the threat of death. He's testing to see his bravery, courage and how far he's willing to go for Alina. Clever.

THE PETTINESS HERE DJDJSKJSJS

Okay he obviously wants to lower their confidence, strength and break apart the bond that Mal and Alina had re-created the past few days. Again clever.

BUT!

No one can tell me that he also wasn't bitter and vengeful. He was like: "Aww they have rekindled their romance! How sweet! Now watch me destroy it🥰🥰"

"That was a very touching scene we witnessed".

Translation: "I'm disgusted. I'm in pain."

Actually, this is how I imagine the Darkling being when Mal and Alina kissed 😭:

Also, his (famous) sexual innuendos. He knew that Alina would never say to Mal what truly happened between them. So he's "spitting" it on Mal's face with such pleasure and satisfaction (like "she willingly gave herself to ME, boy. Did she tell you that? No. I don't think so"). And even though they obviously didn't have sex he implies it 'cause he's petty like that.

You know. For being famous for his acting skills, he really lets his mask slip easily lots of times.

Aside from anger, he must have felt hurt. This is the first time that Alina recoils from his touch and it bothers him.

The Darkling here being like:

He's acting like they were a couple and had a break up LMAO. The way he doesn't even look at her. Such a dramatic bitch.😔

The Darkling: "Lord, give me patience not to obliterate a bitch (Mal)".

His patience runs out. The fact that the first thing Alina asks him about is Mal makes him want to lash out. He be like: "I'll be so glad when I'll feed his ass to the volcra."

The moment he instructs her what to do, he demands answers about her thoughts for Mal. He's genuinely curious about what she sees in him. And how can she have hopes about being with him, an otkazat'sya, a mortal man that is beneath her? When the only person, according to him, that would understand her and accept her completely is himself (Dude we get it, you're superior 😭).

Also, he's trying to save her from a future disappointment. He has walked this path before and doesn't want Alina to do the same. He has seen this play and didn't like the ending.

So! This is part 1 of my long meta since I can't put more than 10 pictures in a post *shakes fist at Tumblr*. But don't worry. I'll continue this delightful meta in the next few days.😊😊

#this is part 1 of the Darkling seeing red flags when it comes to Mal #I'm enjoying this so much #not the Darkling though #The Darkling being jealous meta #meta #Youtube #grishaverse #grishaverse trilogy #shadow and bone #the darkling #pro darkling #aleksander morovoza #pro aleksander morozova #alina starkov #darklina #pro darklina #mal oretsev #alarkling #darklina meta

[huevokinder24]

Shadow and bone rant

Was shadow and bone S2 a good one? It was enjoyable. It was watchable. That's it.

For those of us who have read the books it was a huge mess.

Let's talk first about the grisha trilogy.

They joined book 2 and 3 (and crooked kingdom for some fucking reason, but I'll get to that later) and just rushed through the plot.

While I'm not the biggest fan of the trilogy and SOC is one of my favorite books ever, I still think the crows had no business being there. They just took too much screentime, something I usually wouldn't complain about but now I am. The sword subplot alone would have been okay. The rest? What the fuck was that??

Due to this, we didn't get to see the actual story of Sab. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting a word by word adaptation, but this felt.... The characters weren't themselves.

Nikolai felt incredibly plain. He was just a nice guy. But where was his wit? His charm? His "my mother was an oyster, I'm the pearl". Where was his personality?

Also, he never loved Alina, and Alina didn't love him. Why would they push this narrative?

Everyone loves the darkling because he is charismatic and a master manipulator. This season he was just a dying guy. He didn't feel threatening. He didn't feel like the villain at all.

Zoya was completely sidelined for Alina. My girl had like 3 scenes and she didn't do much. In the book we saw rare moments of vulnerability, saw her friendship with Alina and genya grow. But she was still the cold bitch everyone loves because that's what makes Zoya Zoya.

They offed David just like that, and again, replaced him with Alina in the triumvirate. And I'm so mad about this. The triumvirate was made up of the three leaders that the orders chose to lead them during the war (except for genya). There are one of each order so the darkling's favoritism wouldn't repeat, so all the orders would stand on equal ground. Again, they were leaders. Political leaders. Now we have 2 summoners and a colporalki. What about the materialki? They lost their place in Nikolai's circle.

Also, the little reunion of Alina, genya and Zoya at the end was more like "uwu besties hanging out" than, "we have the responsibility to lead the orders and rebuild the country"

Mal just left. JUST LIKE THAT. we have a season full of Malina kissing and vowing they'll spend their lives together after they destroy the fold and kill the darkling, and the dude just leaves. Not just leaves, BECOMES STURMHOND. Do the writers know what sturmhond means to Nikolai? He would NEVER let any other person, least of all Mal take over the role.

And the twins left with him. The twins would never leave Nikolai.

Also Tolya, canonically ace, giving inej heart eyes????

And Alina. Where was her internal struggle? She kept her powers and is ready to become queen? And marry Nikolai??? She never wanted the crown. She never loved Nikolai. She only wanted to disappear into the sunset with mal and open an orphanage to help children like her. She literally told Nikolai that Zoya would make a better queen, hinting at zoyalai.

The whole point of Alina's character was that she was just a girl. She was just a girl turned saint, something she didn't want, with an enormous power she never asked for. She was just a girl who wanted a normal life but had to play the hero at 17. By the end of ruin and rising, she is exhausted, weary, drained. She faked her own death so people would leave her alone, so she could retire to the middle of nowhere with Mal and live a quiet life.

Now they're making her Nikolai's betrothed, future queen of Ravka, and... Evil? After she fought so hard to not become a monster like the darkling??

And where's the religion??? A huge part of the grishaverse revolves around religion, especially in the grisha trilogy. The manipulation of information and public image, twisting the narrative so it fits your goals, the zeal of the masses based on that exact narrative that those in power created.... There was none of that. Only inej called Alina "Sankta Alina" but they never showed what becoming Sankta was like for Alina.

This was just... Ugh. It was not BAD, but I'm so disappointed, especially for the crows, so part 2?

#shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix #crooked kingdom #nikolai lantsov #the darkling #alina starkov #zoya nazyalensky

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

If Leigh hadn't given Zoya Alina's storyline what role do you think she would've played in the next books? Right now she kinda fills in the gap that Alina left as the chosen one 2.0 but if it wasn't that what do you think would've been her story?

I mean that’s really hard to say because then what is the story going to be about? So much of KoS and RoW hinge on that rehashing. Removing it results in a completely different story— which is something I’d be fine with lol but it’s definitely not a case of like what would have happened instead.

Anyway, I personally love Zoya as more of a foil to the Darkling and filling that role of institutional power vs being placed as an Alina type who’s suddenly come into abilities she does not understand. With how much the original trilogy was about the threat of corruption inherent to power, the KoS duology did not engage with it… at all. I think partially because LB wanted to put the conflict to rest as something Alina like… fixed… to uphold the R&R ending. But it’s too neat, and just uninteresting? And Zoya and Nikolai were Team Morally Dubious from the literal beginning! Bizarre to have them refitted to Lawful Good with zero quandaries whatsoever. And it’s just more meaningful imo to see them working to uphold any sort of greater good, that the choices are taxing and dubious and sometimes very morally compromising.

I think Zoya and Nikolai are really interesting and can be super complimentary in how they operate on different sides of a gray morality spectrum. Zoya is ruthless and selfish, she has limits but she’s somewhat just out for herself and the people she cares about. Nikolai is greater good focused but he operates on a means to an end style of morality that’s literally presented as the starting point to where the Darkling ended up. That is bound to result in many ethical clashes! They have very different values!

Anyway I basically just wanted to see Zoya as the new scary power behind the throne. I wanted her as the new Darkling essentially in terms of being the shadowy figure who is doing the dirty work, and willing to get her hands way dirtier because her limits are different from Nikolai’s and she’s willing to go some fucked up places for her convictions. (The Alina to her Darkling lmao)

Like it’s not expanded on in KoS at all, but I see Zoya as something of a zealot tbh? She starts out as the Darkling’s devout follower, then somewhat grudgingly switches her allegiance to Alina. With both of them out of the way, I think Nikolai would fill that role for her. But not necessarily Nikolai the person, vs Nikolai the king and all of the hopes she’s placed on his rule making a difference. Which is to say, I think her devotion would mean she’s perfectly happy to go behind his back or hurt him in some way to protect him or help his rule. Like she is absolutely the person who would order fucked up assassinations that he might have qualms about without telling him because it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Arc-wise I also just wanted to see her struggle way more with the Darkling’s ghost and the values he instilled in her. Navigating the aftermath of that kind of disillusionment, and just trying to figure out what she believes in at all.

Anyway in the version of KoS that exists in my head, there is no new magic or world ending stuff. They’ve fully exited the fairy tale. It’s just politics and the miserable business of piecing a country back together after a civil war, and also recovering from the trauma of everything that happened. But while Nikolai’s come out of it determined to Fix Ravka and Deserve being king and to be nothing like his father, Zoya has come out the other side determined to be efficient. And I’d just love to see them hurt each other a lot on the path to understanding each other and trying to grapple with the above questions of morality, and where to draw the line re: selfishness or destroying oneself for a cause. And most importantly shfhff I do not want an answer!

They’re team Morally Dubious! They live on a precipice! There’s no easy answer beyond just trying to do their best at any given moment and make some ethical trade offs and just hope really hard that overall they’re going in the right direction.

#grishaverse #KoS pissed me off so bad with constantly being like ‘Zoya is ruthless’ [Zoya is just mildly snarky sometimes] #let her kill!!! #i ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared #meta #zoya nazyalensky #zoyalai #king of scars #tagging these last for reasons

[greensaplinggrace]

THE funniest dynamic would be Mal having to reckon with Alina’s terrible fucking cat. This cat’s name is Darkling. He is NOT the Darkling in cat form or the Darkling as a shifter. He is quite literally a cat, and Alina thinks he’s the sweetest baby to ever exist. But whenever Alina is not around he makes Mal’s life miserable. 

He clearly hates Mal. He destroys all of Mal’s things and harasses him at every turn. He wakes Mal up in the middle of the night with wild screeching, moves every single object three inches to the left, and manages to somehow lock Mal in the closet. And Mal fucking hates his guts. 

Unfortunately, every time Alina’s around Darkling acts like an angel, so nothing Mal says ever gets through to her. And their entire relationship is just Mal being driven insane by the Darkling’s instinct in any form to cause maximum chaos and ruin lives irrevocably.

#my entire purpose in life is to make mal and the darkling miserable over the stupidest shit possible #literally nothing compares #myramblings #shadow and bone #sab #grishaverse #malyen oretsev #alina starkov #mal oretsev #malarklina #lmfao #malina #malarkling #aleksander morozova #the darkling #general kirigan #darkblade

[serpenteve]

I like Nina/Matthias as much as the next reader, BUT:

I have to say making a romance between a queer fantasy-Slav who belongs to a Jewish-inspired minority and a guy who belonged to a Nazi-coded organization was. A Choice ☕🍵

I think H*lnik only makes sense if you examine it as a redo of M*lina.

Because if you don't, this is exactly why the entire Grisha trilogy and the subsequent books examining the role of the Grisha in the verse is so weirdly anti-Grisha and falls apart the moment you try to apply some real-world logic to it.

I know Leigh mentioned that while the Grisha were inspired by Jewish persecution, she wanted to be careful about how far she extended the metaphor probably because if you take it to its natural conclusions, it leads to some....uncomfortable implications.

After Ruin and Rising was published, LB probably got the full blast of how angry the fans were that she stripped Alina of her powers and then paired her with the one man that took a whole trilogy to finally accept her for who she was----only to have that part of her destroyed in the process. It felt wholly unearned and left behind some messy implications. Like, oh, if you're part of a minority that is being systemically persecuted by the institutions and society you live in, the solution isn't to demand that the world change (as the Darkling demands), it's to change yourself so that people won't hurt you anymore.

And that was just...........a fucking disaster of a message for rather obvious reasons.

On the other hand, H*lnik is like a better-written version of M*lina because it's not the woman who has to change and become a Muggle in order for her partner to accept her. It's the man who has to change his bigotry and accept the woman as she is. Which, okay. Fine. It's Fine™. It's better written compared to M*lina, but only if you remove any of the implications of the fantasy coding. Because otherwise, you're still left with this weird mess where a woman from a persecuted class has to educate a bigot who needlessly persecutes her. It's her duty to change him by constantly proving her humanity to him.

And...why would you want a partner who you constantly have to prove your humanity to? If they can't see it, they're not worth it. And if they do grow out of their prejudices on their own or because one day they finally see you as a human being, then....great! Good for them. It's not a sign that you should get into a relationship with them as a reward for them doing the bare fucking minimum 😬

#viv answers #anti helnik #anti malina #pls dont come at me 🙏🏽

[alinasheretic]

Alarkling Fic Recommendations

Hello! Does anyone remember the list of my favourite Alarkling fanfictions I said I’m going to make like a good half a year ago? Since I’m very punctual, here it is!

Note: this will get updated over time🫶

Finished

Out of Time by destinies

Alina Starkov expected to wake up on a ship sailing across the True Sea, one that would take her far from Ravka, far from the Darkling and his mad crusade. Instead, she awoke in Os Alta to a devastating truth: the war was won nearly a century ago, her first love was dead, and she remembered nothing.

Not even that, as part of her surrender, she agreed to a political marriage.

(I don’t have enough words to describe how much I love the whole OoTverse, user destinies is an absolute genius and I will absolutely shove this fic down everyone’s throat for as long as I can idc)

Lone Candles by nymja

They've lived four lives together. Only one ends happily.

(This was the first alarkling fic I’ve ever read and rest assured it has completely and utterly destroyed me. I loved all the lives but the heretic was my favourite, also the firebird 💞💘💖💗 young aleks!!)

The Shadow of War by insectkin

Alina's project in her last year of university has caught Ambassador Morozova's attention. He convinces her to move to Ravka to bring solar energy to the villages; her role turns out to be much larger than that.

This is the story of their relationship – and her revenge.

A modern day AU and occasional retelling. Nothing Small about this Science.

One shots

Dancing with the Darkness by ripwhitewolf

(Alina and Aleksander reunite after King of Scars. Extremely in-character& well-written!)

Starless One by destinies

Alina Starkov wonders if her prayers will ever be heard.

Mercy by hanpersands

After the events at the Spinning Wheel, the Darkling calls to Alina in his grief. This time, she answers.

i am singing now as rome burns (mash your mouth against me) by bellemon

Alina does not resist the pull of their tether. The Darkling welcomes her in his own way.

What is yours is also mine by savethecat

After Baghra's death, Alina decides to visit The Darkling, using their connection, one last time.

(I’ve always wondered what would’ve happened if Alina answered his call. Yelled a little when I found out people actually wrote fics about that. Doing gods work!)

Denial by hanpersands

He doesn't love her, in moments.

(Super angsty. I don’t know how but they always manage to hit right in the feels! Their portrayal and understanding of the characters is excellent!)

And I Said To The Star, “Consume Me” by goblins_riddles_frocks

What if Alina didn’t get out of the little palace at the end of S&S?

(A!work!of!art!)

Penance Without Penitence by goblins_riddles_frocks

The Darkling, fresh out of his glass prison on the palace grounds, is taken to Keramzin to make up for his wrongs.

(This one is genuinely hilarious, if you ever wished for Alina to mock Aleksander about the fact that he’s basically a weird vampire or his ridiculous over-the-top title, then congratulations! Today is your day cuz this fic is IT)

Colours by hanpersands

The night of the fete, the Darkling visits Alina’s room after all. A what-if scenario, based on the idea that Baghra never came, and he did.

перигелий by orphan_account

In the solar after the ball, Alina goes after what she wants.

Of Intimacy and Warfare by orphan_account

Alina confronts the Darkling after she discovers the attack on Nikolai during his birthday celebrations.

Éminence Grise by goblins_riddles_frocks

What if the stag took years to find?

(Kind of fluffy& basically what I wish had happened in canon because Alarkling wasn’t fleshed out merely enough in the first book)

Light Reading by destinies

(Sometimes all you need in life is a fic about the living sun saint being fucked face down on a library floor by her evil husband! Good for her!)

A Reprieve From Thought by goblins_riddles_frocks

(They fuck during the ship sequence from S&S 💛🫶🏼)

Unfinished

the winter after by ellewhile

The winter after the Darkling is defeated, Alina and Mal decide to stay in a cabin before officially settling down. After a fight, Alina is left to live alone. It's not too long before shadows start to follow her.

We must all face our demons sooner or later.

Unmaking the Heart of the World by goblins_riddles_frocks

Merzost has muddied the boundaries of time: what has already happened, what is yet to come, and what can never be. None of these things are as simple as they once were.

In one timeline, Alina, now queen of Ravka, struggles to come to terms with her grief following Mal’s death on the Shadow Fold and the weight of everything else she’s lost. In another, she is only just discovering her powers as Sun Summoner. But no matter the particulars of the story, the Darkling is always scheming, and he will always find her.

(Or: the characters keep on reliving the same events time and time again and the only one who is aware of what’s going on is The Darkling and he takes it as the universes confirmation that he’s fucking right!)

In Peace We Do Not Rest by girlwithaknifeinherboot

Resurrection fic! Through merzost, Aleksander returns with a vengeance even more horrifying what ever before. Now, he possesses the powers of all Grisha orders. On his way to Os Alta he can’t resist the temptation to visit his sun summoner, tailored as a Corporalki named Isaac he slowly slips back into Alinas life.

(AKA this fic is everything and I need for it to get an update! Darkling is so terrible, as he should be!❤️‍🔥)

Darklina Kiss Collection by destinies

The title says it all.

(The first one is a bonus scene from the OoTverse🖤)

#aleksander morozova #alina starkov #darklina #shadow and bone #the darkling #alarkling #siege and storm #ruin and rising

[vole-mon-amour]

2x04 (sorry for no cut but i need to be able to see the entire post on my blog for certain reasons)

That's my kind of gal.

Why is Nikolai being called Sobachka aka a doggy?

THEY'RE DOING IT???? AHHHH!!! I dislike how they're rushing through CK, but god, it's one of the greatest moments in the book! This makes me smile.

"To all of that", including "Yes, I can't do this without you." That's why I ship them. Jesper is so easygoing. He UNDERSTANDS Kaz. What they share is so special. Jesper wouldn't mind big words, but he'll do just fine without them. I can't stress enough how much he loves him & how it's mutual.

The fact that Jesper fucked up the entire thing in the book, and Kaz didn't say him a word until his patience reached it's absolute limit. Even the physical fight they had in Ck until Colm stopped them. How they brushed it off and continued with their lives, their plan, their relationship.

I just love them SO much. I wouldn't change these two for any other ship in this universe. If I was asked to choose just one ship, they'd be the one.

"Among them, it passed for good luck." <3

NINA. LMAOOO. Honestly, only she can do that. Which is a bit brutal, but also... She knows her worth and he allows her. But also, that woman is loyal and smart. They'll get there eventually.

I really like the scene where David explains to Alina how it all happened. What Darkling has now and how dangerous it is. As it turns out, I just dislike him near Darkling, but overall he seems to be an alright kind of guy.

Me: This is my fav character. Also me: Aww, poor baby suffering. He looks so good while at it.

To be fair, I do have a 'I love me some traumatized characters' tag, after all.

You already did, asshole. Honestly, the fact that he doesn't remember, just like in the book. I can't wait for Kaz's revenge. Get him, my love.

Which also teaches you what? Never trust Pekka fucking Rollins. He'll destroy you and have no regret whatsoever.

(whispers) he's so hot while he's at it. It's so much easier watching the show knowing the books, bc otherwise i'd completely lose my mind over this.

I love him, your honor. The flashback fits so well. The revenge is so sweet when boiling like that. I'm gonna enjoy Rollins' fall.

My booy. <3

"The trick is not to love anything." Because Pekka Rollins once killed what Kaz loved the most. His brother. Yeeeah.

"You'll never find your son in time." I'm a bit disappointed. They wasted the masquerade, the pushed this iconic line from near the end of CK in the middle of the season. What are they doing?

That iconic line, though:

"I want you to remember."

I also find this as a very interesting choice. In the book Inej witnessed Kaz saying that. In here it's Nina and Jesper, which also gives them an understanding of what's going on and what Kaz Brekker really is. I can't say I can complain. It's a smart move. And they nailed this. Even though too early, they nailed this.

I know Kaz wouldn't appreciate a hug, so I'd like to sit next to him and be there for him. And this is the scene that made me want to cry. Oh, Kaz. I love him with all my heart. What a character.

That smile. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. ;_; Yeah, crying now. Also, the fact that Nina looks back at Jesper, asking if it's the right time and Jesper shakes his head. I'm not tired to say that Jesper knows him.

;______; I'm giving this episode 10/10 just for this entire scene. Losing it, besties.

I'm gonna need so many fics after this episode. Fics that address Jesper's feelings of hearing Kaz's story. I'm gonna need Kaz to call Jesper Jordie. I'm gonna need all of that.

Jesper: "I like the chaos. The gamble of Barrel life. Never knowing what comes next." Sooo... you like Kaz. :) Also, I remember people talking about this before (during the books), but isn't it suspicious that Jesper likes Wylan for this reason? Because it very much screams Kaz. VERY much. So again, if Kaz was more available... Kazper is canon, one way or another. So much to explore tbh. I'm full of inspiration again (and I haven't even finished my previous 3 wips :)))

Also, the way Jesper easily goes for a quickie with Wylan, which basically means he'd fuck Kaz if he could. Because all the traits show!Wylan has, it's all (and more) in Kaz already. And Jesper knew Kaz for years, so I think the conclusion is very logical.

I'm not giving this 10/10 bc of how they ruined Wesper. But. This was a very long, but a very good episode. So much important information. I even watched parts with Alina and Nikolai, which is VERY rare for me. I'm usually not interested in that part of the show at all.

This is so far my fav episode, but I'm really disappointed that there was no That Iconic Masquerade Line.

#natiswatching #kazper #sabn #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #ck #wylan van eck #nina zenik #long post #wesper

[bardofavon]

Wondering about the Darkling’s motivation last chapter- is he trying to get revenge by messing with kaz, jealousy of his bond with Jes and that Jes is with him, just really doesn’t trust kaz enough to back off, all three?

All three, plus more! First of all, it’s nice that Kaz said everything he wanted to hear and gave in to him but he’s not actually going to believe Kaz until he’s actually physically at his feet (metaphorically) (probably) because it’s nice that Kaz said all that but it’s still Kaz and he doesn’t have the best track record for honesty.

Second, he’s absolutely still jealous of Kaz’s relationships with other people and wants to be the only person Kaz talks to. In a petty way, he’s also still punishing Kaz for leaving him in the first place. He’s going to keep making Kaz miserable until Kaz is with him again because really, it’s only fair (in his mind.)

Most importantly, though, he’s doing a great job of making Kaz look absolutely completely insane to everyone around him and systematically destroying his credibility even though he’s not even physically there. He doesn’t want Kaz to have allies who trust him, he wants to make sure if Kaz does come up with a plan on his own no one will trust it enough to go along with it, and that no one will believe he’s not crazy even if he does tell them the truth.

It’s also just tons of fucking fun. Casual cruelty towards someone he deeply loves who broke his heart.

There’s also something about making Kaz miserable without him, watching him fray at the seams, still keeping him exhausted, having him always on alert, trusting no one, frustrated and fighting. It’s going to make a nice contrast for when Kaz comes back and he backs off. He won’t be in Kaz’s head, Kaz will be well rested, well fed, validated, treated like royalty. The carrot and the stick. Keep Kaz feeling awful without him and good when he’s with him. “I told you that you could stop fighting, and now that you’re here you get to.”

Is it fucked? Yes. But it’s completely logical to him, he thinks it’s only fair, and in the end he believes it’s all for the good of their relationship long term. All couples have spats ♥️

#he’s maybe got some problems in his brain #a good myth is hard to kill #kazling

[kat2107]

one thing I love about Shadow and Bone S2 - and maybe that seems kinda obvious to me because I've avoided reading the books so far- but the thing I love is how it parallels Kaz and the Darkling.

They are both expressedly NOT the kings. They are the unwanted, the victims who rose out of their suffering to power and vengeance.

Cunning, ruthless. Fanatic about it.

But where Kirigan is outwardly loyal and faithful to his people, he sells them off, manipulates them, hurts them. See Genya. See Nina.

Kaz, who outwardly doesn't give a fuck about his crows, razes Ketterdam to the ground for Inej, he assures Wylan, he helps Nina.

And in his vengeance against the one who wronged him, he takes the worst damage onto himself. He never sends the other to take his punishment. When they get hurt, he takes the blame and does better.

And when Kaz gets rejected? He gracefully bows and accepts it. He accepts Inej's decision, no matter how much it hurts him.

They are mirrors.

In the first part of the season, we see Kaz going on a rampage for vengeance to destroy a kingdom and put himself in its place.

In the second half, it's Kirigan's ramapage. And man does he suck as a person.

#Shadow and bone #kaz brekker #aleksander kirigan #the darkling

[stromuprisahat]

You know how girls will disappear for months and give a bunch of hokey as the reason when they're actually having a baby

The rumour mill after Alina suddenly went on an amplifier hunt after like 3 months of training when other Grisha trained for years must have been crazy

And I'm pretty sure half of the Little Palace was already certain she and Aleksander are fucking.

“And what about her?” cried another Squaller. “How do we know she isn’t working with the Darkling? She helped him destroy Novokribirsk.” “And she shared his bed!” shouted another. Never deign to deny, said Nikolai’s voice in my head. “Just what is your relationship with Nikolai Lantsov?” demanded a Fabrikator. “What was your relationship with the Darkling?” came a shrill voice.

Siege and Storm Chapter 13

It's pretty obvious when you look at it. Especially Alina's Fete outfit screams MISTRESS! Even before that, all signs are there:

Dinner seemed to last forever. I nursed a glass of tea and endured another round of endless Summoner chatter. I was getting ready to excuse myself and escape back to my room when the doors behind the Darkling’s table opened and the domed hall fell silent. Ivan emerged and sauntered over to the Summoners’ table, seemingly oblivious to the stares of the other Grisha. With a sinking sensation, I realized he was walking straight toward me. “Come with me, Starkov,” he said when he reached us, then added a mocking “please.” I pushed my chair back and rose on legs that felt suddenly weak. Had Baghra told the Darkling that I was hopeless? Had Botkin told him just how badly I’d failed at my lessons? The Grisha were goggling at me. Nadia’s jaw was actually hanging open. I followed Ivan across the silent hall and through the huge ebony doors. He led me down a hallway and through another door emblazoned with the Darkling’s symbol. ...

Shadow and Bone Chapter 9

“Why did she do it?” I asked as I tried to sit up. I’d had plenty of people ignore me or look down on me. But Zoya actually seemed to hate me. Marie and Nadia gaped at me as if I’d taken a crack to the skull instead of the ribs. “Because she’s jealous!” said Nadia. “Of me?” I said incredulously. Marie rolled her eyes. “She can’t bear the idea of anyone being the Darkling’s favorite.”

Shadow and Bone Chapter 11

Since none of the other Grisha knew that I’d had so much trouble summoning, they were all a little baffled by the change in me. I didn’t offer any explanations, and Genya let me in on some of the more hilarious rumors. “Marie and Ivo were speculating that the Fjerdans had infected you with some disease.” “I thought Grisha didn’t get sick.” “Exactly!” she said. “That’s why it was so very sinister. But apparently the Darkling cured you by feeding you his own blood and an extract of diamonds.” “That’s disgusting,” I said, laughing. “Oh that’s nothing. Zoya actually tried to put it around that you were possessed.”

Shadow and Bone Chapter 13

Genya squeaked, and I just stood there gaping at the contents. When I didn’t move, she reached into the box and pulled out yards of rippling black silk. The sleeves and neckline were delicately embroidered in gold and glittered with tiny jet beads. “Black,” Genya whispered. His color. What did it mean? “Look!” she gasped. The neckline of the gown was laced with a black velvet ribbon, and from it hung a small golden charm: the sun in eclipse, the Darkling’s symbol. ... “Excuse us!” announced Genya. “But we have need of this chamber. Darkling’s orders!” Zoya’s beautiful blue eyes slitted dangerously. “If you think—” she began and then she caught sight of me. Her jaw dropped, and the blood drained from her face. “Out!” commanded Genya. Zoya snapped her mouth shut, but to my amazement, she left the room without another word. Genya slammed the door behind her. ... The sad, sickly girl with hollowed-out cheeks and bony shoulders was gone. In her place was a Grisha with sparkling eyes and shimmering waves of bronze hair. The black silk clung to my new form, shifting and sliding like sewn-together shadows. And Genya had done something marvelous to my eyes so that they looked dark and almost catlike. ... In the other boxes on my bed, we found golden silk slippers, glittering jet and gold earrings, and a thick fur muff. When I was ready, I examined myself in the little mirror above the basin. I felt exotic and mysterious, like I was wearing some other, far more glamorous girl’s clothes.

Shadow and Bone Chapter 14

Sure, the reader knows Alina didn't summon, but other Grisha don't. ... and when a girl suddenly radically changes her behaviour, while gaining a shape, EVERYONE knows she's the boss' new favourite AND they sneak off somewhere TOGETHER...

... and once Alina returns, the sickly, frail girl is back:

When we finally pulled up to the immense black silk tent, a crowd of Grisha swarmed around the coach. Marie and Ivo and Sergei rushed forward to greet me. I was surprised at how good it felt to see them again. As they caught sight of me, their excitement vanished, replaced by worry and concern. They’d expected a triumphant Sun Summoner, wearing the greatest amplifier ever known, radiant with power and the favor of the Darkling. Instead, they saw a pale, tired girl, broken by misery. “Are you all right?” Marie whispered when she hugged me. “Yes,” I promised. “Just worn out from the journey.” I did my best to smile convincingly and reassure them. I tried to feign enthusiasm as they marveled at Morozova’s collar and reached out to touch it.

Shadow and Bone Chapter 20

I don't know how other Grisha, but I'd suspect some tragedy.

Miscarriage?

Stillbirth?

If Grisha can have hard time conceiving, how likely is it those won't be unusual either?!

#reply #Grishaverse #Grisha trilogy #Alina Starkov #Second Army #The Darkling #Darklina #grishanalyticritical #S&S Chapter 13 #S&B Chapter 9 #S&B Chapter 11 #S&B Chapter 13 #S&B Chapter 14 #S&B Chapter 20 #books #quotes #Leigh Bardugo #Siege and Storm #Shadow and Bone (book)

[polycrowtruther]

Excerpt from 'Saintstones and Sugar Cookies'

“-where is she, Nikolai, whERE IS SHE!? NINA ZENIK!” she shouted from the hallway. Nikolai and David rushed back into the kitchen quickly, the task of drying off all but forgotten, and who Matthias presumed to be one Zoya Nazyalensky stormed in after them. She was on the warpath, it seemed, her eyes bright with rage. Matthias had heard stories about the Windcaller Queen of Ravka, the third member of the Triumvirate, and now that he was seeing her he could attest that those stories were certainly true. She was an intimidating force of nature. A dragon in human skin. He could see how Nina had been taken under Zoya’s wing, they were one and the same.

Inej and Jesper slid into the room as well, followed by a boy Matthias didn't recognize but assumed was the other alpha in Genya's pack. Mal, as they had called him. Zoya slammed her hands down on the dining room table and leaned towards Nina. “YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, ZENIK!”

“Oh, like you’re one to TALK NAZYALENSKY!” Nina retorted back. “THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?”

“You picked that edgy bastard as your omega? Are you fucking mental?” Zoya seethed, “You had me convinced he was the sweetest little puppy! I was prepared to be so fucking nice to him, but you're telling me you mated fucking rat bastard Kaz Brekker? You’re telling me Brekker is the little sweetheart that WHIMPERS and PURRS for you?” 

“YOU LITERALLY FUCKED THE ACTUAL EMBODIMENT OF SUNSHINE! Like hello ? You mean to tell me the Saint who destroyed the fucking FOLD is the sassy brat you’ve been taming? She's literally walking history! That's the kind of thing you warn your fucking sister about before waltzing into her home with the Saint.”

“Oh Ghezen , she’s that Alina?” Wylan’s eyes widened, “Like for real, she's the Sun Summoner?”

Matthias felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach as he realized the gravity of the situation, “Fuck, Wy, does that mean we jumped the mates of a Saint ?”

“ You're the one who punched them,” Wylan shook his head. “I just asked the questions.”

“Sure, but that was after you blinded them. Don’t use me as your scapegoat now,” Matthias grumbled. 

“Wait, you two got into a fight?” Jesper looked between his mates quickly, “Why the hell did you two get into a fight?”

“It’s a long story,” Wylan smiled weakly. “But they said they both forgive us so it’s fine.”

"It wasn't that bad even," Nikolai shrugged, "Kept us humble, and all that."

Jesper shook his head.  “I steal Inej away for two minutes and you two already find trouble. We can’t take you dorks anywhere, it seems. Not with Matthias’s pesky drüskelle sensibilities.”

“Nikolai survived a punch from a drüskelle?” Mal's gaze snapped to them as he spoke, but he seemed more impressed than anything else. 

“Hold on,” Inej’s eyes widened as she pointed to the blonde in question, “As in the King of Scars Nikolai Lantsov? That Nikolai?” 

“Oh sweet Djel, I punched a king ?” Matthias whispered, horrified. He scrambled to look back at Nikolai.

Before Nikolai could speak, however, Jesper made an indignant noise, “Hold on just a damned moment, I recognize you. You’re the one who hired the three of us to kidnap the Sun Summoner years back! You were the reason we were in Ravka to begin with! You’re Sturmhold!”

“YOU HIRED RAT BREKKER TO KIDNAP OUR OMEGA?!” Zoya screeched, turning to Nikolai. 

 “In my defense it was to get her out of the Darkling’s control!” Nikolai pleaded, “I didn’t pay to kidnap her maliciously !”

“Yeah, you didn’t pay at all!” Jesper scowled, “You fucking stiffed us! Left us to fend for ourselves against the Stadwatch!"

“You scammed Brekker into kidnapping Alina?” Mal tilted his head, “And he let you live?”

“I’m still debating that decision,” a raspy voice, rocks against stone, chimed in, “So cough up the kruge or count your days, Lantsov.”

“Like hell he will, Brekker,” A clear voice said from beside him, sweet and cheery, “You never delivered me, remember? He doesn’t owe you shit, and that’s mainly because his bank account is my bank account now and as the Queen of Ravka I will not give you my money.” 

Matthias looked up to see his pack’s omega silhouetted in the doorway, a sharp shadow against the bright noon sunlight. A woman Matthias had only seen in paintings stood next to him, beautiful in a way so ancient it made Matthias feel obligated to bow or at the very least tilt his head in respect. It seems Kaz and Alina had finally made their way back to the Silver Six, and that they had quite the odyssey in the meantime. 

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #kazzle dazzle #grishaverse #soc ck #six of crows fanfic #polycrows #six of crows fandom #kaz brekker #alina starkov #matthias helvar #polyamourous #pack dynamics #ao3 fanfic #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o verse #omegaverse #this is me pushing my omega kaz agenda

[bookishbunnies]

Alright, last episode

Oh no, Wylan don't go into the fold, you are actual sunshine

I am forever in love with everything that comes out of Jespers mouth 'mal is a bird??'

Just realised that jesper is wearing purple, aka the colour of Materialnik

Omg, Wylan, you absolutely beautiful man! You cam hurt them!

Omg Jesper, you should probably put a label on it 😅 but yes that is your man, and he's a fucking amazing gorgeous badass 😍

Alina, he's already dead, don't let the Darkling take his power.

Darkling really fucked up there. If he hadn't hurt Mal already, Alina probably wouldn't have been able to kill him

Gods Inej is just- holy fuck- gods that's beautiful

Without me you have no balance? Bitch you spent centuries without balance, I think she can manage for a while

Well, it's not a knife, but close enough I guess

Oh Alina, that is so not the right choice. Don't become him, or his grandfather

Oh yeah, Nina knows. She knows it wasn't her that brought him back

Omg. Jesper. The book, the name of the book. Omg. It's okay, you'll count properly eventually 😂

Mal, are you trying to break up with the girl who just brought you back from the dead?? Really?? I fucning hope you're not

Oh Matthias, no. Don't fucking trust him Matthias.

Oh no. Don't you fucking dare do this to me. David better be fine. It's not his time. Not yet. No, I will not believe it till we see a body. I don't care, no body no death

No

No

No

No

It wasn't time. It was the one person I felt safe being certain wouldn't die. The one person.

I might be reading into things, but the bee on Zoya certainly is interesting....

Oh, okay, that's interesting. Replacing Sturmhond with Mal? Interesting choice

Wow Kaz. Wow. Cmon man.

Omg. Yes. Yes Kaz.

That is how we state our feelings. Holy shit.

Wow we really getting this entire scene right now. The iconic Kanej scene.

Wait no, wtf. They really said fuck King of Scars huh. I am so sorry for Zoyalai fans. So me, but also all of us.

Okay I'm so confused. They gave us infected Nikolai. Which sets up Kimg of Scars. But fucked up by letting him marry Alina?? Where tf are they going with this, coz its supposed to be to Zoya.

Wait no, they're not getting married? They're just talking about the coronation. Thank fuck, there's hope.

I could fix him. Yes, yes you could Zoya. You absolutely should.

Ohbfuck no, they're still doing the triumvirate. But without David.

They really left us with ending scenes of everyone except Wesper huh. Wtf. Just that snippet with Kaz and Nina with them??

Oh. Oh. Is he? Is he talking about the Ice Court heist? But they need Inej. And they better make up for the lack of 'not just girls'

Oh he is. Jurda parem. It's happening. Yes.

Oh wow. That's one messy coronation

Okay, they've set it up fairly well for a Six of Crows ice court heist season. Well, almost

But they've absolutely destroyed any possibility of getting King of Scars, and also Crooked Kingdom.

I feel like we've traded David for Wesper and I am extremely conflicted about that

#shadow and bone #Shadow and bone season 2 spoilers #sab2 spoilers