#getting personal

[princessofmerchants]

The way Sarah J. Maas writes Nesta working through her anxiety, fear, and PTSD triggered by the sound of a fire crackling...the scene in ACOSF ch. 56 where Nesta asks the House to light a fire so Nesta can work through her responses to the sound, and begin to retrain her brain to accept the discomfort and separate the sound from her memory of her father's death......

This is written in a way that tells me SJM has probably experienced something like this before. It's accurate in a way that exceptionally matches my lived experience of having to work through these same things.

And it means the world to me to read a strong, badass main character experience this same thing I do.

#nesta's bravery is everything in this scene #and so is her pride in herself afterwards #then the House gives her a solstice gift 🥹🫶🏻😭 #getting personal #anxiety talk #nesta archeron #acosf reread post hofas #acosf #a court of silver flames #sarah j maas

[solarianvoidthearoace]

For reference, my current mailbox/ voicemail message is a play on the one from Welcome to Night Vale Ep.65

My current voice mail is (approximately translated) “Hello, you are speaking to the voicemail of [legal name]. That might seem like a small thing to you. But consider that you first needed to learn how to use a phone and who I am in the first place. Gratulate yourself on that! And leave your message after the tone.”

#getting personal #personal story

[alicornze7]

Not an ask but ... Been seeing you liking tons of my posts ((and some of my reblogs , I think))

...Hi👀👀

uh oh...ya caught me red handed😅

Whatever you’ve just witnessed is me at my low point and doom scrolling away

...hi

#getting personal #Oof #To quote #“My biggest mistake was showing weakness on the internet” #I will never once again be vulnerable 😊 #The world events are getting to me man... #the brainrot isn't helping #I'm not THAT old to be getting into political stuff but damn #Forgive me for flooding ur notifs btw:’) #Ask #mutual asks #moot ask #Oh I think I know the problem #its 3 in the morning #OFC IM ACTING ALL MUSHY AND PATHETIC

[dgtn]

I’m gonna get personal here. When Jimin released Set Me Free Part 2 I was blown away. The song itself was incredible, he looked incredible, he danced incredible, the video was incredible, and the lyrics were incredible. He had such a strong message to deliver and man did he ever deliver. This was his way of saying fuck off to the doubters, the haters, the people who judged him, the people who put labels on him. He was free of all the bullshit that had held him back and he wanted everyone to know. Damn that was brave. So then FACE was released in its entirety and I was blown away again. Every song had a message and Jimin is just so so good at delivering each message. I truly was in awe of how he tackled some pretty heavy issues he had personally dealt with. He just put them out there for the world to see. Once again, incredibly brave. So now of course I’ve listened to the album countless times (truly countless). I’ve gone from listening to the lyrics and thinking bout the message Jimin delivered in his songs to relating to the message of the songs on a personal level…how I can relate to each song. And I have found that over and over I am drawn to Face-Off. Jimin talks about some pretty toxic relationship(s) in the song and realizing that it’s ok to move on from those relationships. This is such an important message, and one that is very personal to me. As I’m getting older I’m taking stock in my relationships and I have come to realize that not all relationships are healthy ones. And if someone is causing you pain, grief, anxiety, sadness you have the right to walk away. And it doesn’t matter who these people are, even family. It’s ok to look out for yourself, it’s actually better than ok. It’s healthy. That’s why Face-Off really connects with me. Jimin finally said it’s enough. And I’m at that same point. I’m putting this out there because I want people to know that it’s ok to take care of yourself and put yourself first. It may be painful for those you are saying goodbye to, but it’ll be really good for you and will help you to be happier and healthier in the long run 💜💜💜

#jimin #face off #getting personal #face by Jimin

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Today is an odd day for me.

Today was supposed to be my wedding day.

Instead of getting married:

I took my brother to baseball practice.

I decorated a Christmas tree with my mom.

I’m getting dinner with my brothers and my best friend.

We are having a sleepover at my parents house.

Making garland. Playing board games. And watching twilight.

Tomorrow I’ll wake up. Not as a wife. Not married to stranger. Not married to someone I thought I knew.

I’ll wake up in my bed next to my best friend. Have breakfast with my family before I go to church.

I’ll wake up free. Not married. But free. I’ll wake up with a fullness and self love that I didn’t have even before I met my ex. I’ll wake up safe. And loved. And all my own.

Today is the best day of my life.

#personal thoughts #getting personal #talking with friends

[jaesqueso]

personal disclosure for the ones who are interested:

basically my life has been a mess for the past few months, we thought my mom's cancer was gone but it just reallocated, my brother was diagnosed with als, my dad has being going through financial problems on his company due to shitty lawyers, and all of this has messed up my mental health to a point i think i might have a personality disorder, which has screwed my will to do stuff, whether it's work or any hobby i have, i want to write, i have so many ideas and storylines built up in my head but i cannot bring myself to stare at those documents, luckily i've been managing school quite well which makes me believe this is what i'm supposed to do

anyway, just felt like i needed to vent, and i feel like i owed you guys an explanation on why i've been so mia, i just want to make it clear that i'm not going away, i'm just taking things slow, and if you care enough to have made it this far: thank you for your support and i love you ❤️

#getting personal

[atths--twice]

20 Fanfic Questions

I was tagged by @baronessblixen during the craziness of Fictober and I didn't get a chance to read her responses to her own questions until today. I also had the time to answer my own 20 questions. 😊

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

283 

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,638,714. And the vast majority of those words have been written on my phone. I would say… about 95% of them. (Please imagine a blinking eye gif here, because whaaaaaat…😳)

3. What fandoms do you write for?  

Mainly The X-Files, but I have written one for Sex Education and also a Mary Poppins story. (Bert and Mary were my first ship. I saw it in the movie theater in 1980 when I was five years old.  Even that young, I had a little shipper heart because I wanted them to be together so badly.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Per Cor Meum 

Soulmates 

Shared Kisses

Green Is Not Your Color

After the Credits

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?  

Yes and no. I used to be much better about it, but I so often don’t respond on ao3, but I do on social media outlets. I think it’s more the ease of it and the accessibility of a social media site. But I absolutely love and appreciate every single comment. I cry or laugh over them and always share them with my bestie. They make me incredibly happy. ❤️

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?  

I don’t think I have any. I try to leave the story with a somewhat happy ending, or at least a hopeful one. That’s always my goal because… maybe there’s hope. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?  

Hmm… most of them. Like I said, I try to leave them hopeful and at least attempt happiness where it may not have been previously. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?  

I have before, but only a couple. The one that sticks with me the most though was from an anonymous person who left a comment that said when an idea is discussed on social media and a story is suggested to be written about said discussion, I’m always quick to get a story out, before giving others a chance to do the same. So as a result, I’m a horrible person who writes “insipid” stories just to say I did it first and “you just… you SUCK at it.”

When I first read that, it hurt for sure, because it made the time I spent writing a story that immediately popped into my head and would not stop begging for my attention, seem trivial and small. It made me feel as though my writing was inconsequential and I should stop wasting my time doing it. It put a dark cloud over me for a wee bit, but then I got past it, though it still sticks in the back of my head there and I think about it from time to time. But I’m still here and still writing stories, almost at 300 now, so whoever wrote that can go ahead and get fucked. ✌

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do, but not always. And I suppose by kind, it means mild or hardcore, so I would say somewhere in between. 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? 

No. I’ve not done that as of yet. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Stolen, no. But I was approached by someone about the dialogue that I used in a story being similar to what they had written in their own story. But as I pointed out to them, it was the dialogue from the show itself, so… 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have a few times! It’s fun and I enjoyed working with all the writers. 

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully for sure. I adore them so much. 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a couple that I do want to finish so badly, I just need to do it. So, I’m going to choose to say, please continue being patient with me. 😊

16. What are your writing strengths?

Humor, I think. And banter. I love writing fun dialogue and imagining the way it would be said for real. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think, without sounding like I’m being pompous, and also because I've been told by a few people, I’m pretty good at creating a story a person can fall into, imagine and enjoy. So, I think my personal weakness is sticking to one story until it’s done, although I’m better about it now than I was in the past. At least I think so. 😊 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would be nervous to do it, wanting it to be perfect. If I did, I would seek out help from a native speaker so I would then get it right and not just rely on the translation feature. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files 

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Soulmates ❤️ I spent over a year on that story, off and on, and then six months of writing it every day, with other stories created in between. It’s the one I’m most proud of and the longest one I’ve ever written. 

I'm tagging @tofuttim @agent-troi and anyone else who feels like playing.

#getting personal #hi there #20 questions #hope you enjoy getting to know me better

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

I’m Back!

OMG, listen, you don’t know the absolute devastation I suffered in late august when tumblr had a log-in/ authorisation error and then I was told my (main) blog had been deleted

Support replied to my request from the 27.08. just recently on the 26.09. and then I had to reset my password because in my attempts to figure out what had gone wrong, my device somehow overwrote my saved password with the support request I had typed out

Anyhoooowww, I’m back now! All my blogs are back online and I will need to check if everything is still as I (involuntarily) left it

Much love and I’m actually grateful for tumblr support because my main and this particular blog have been kicking since 2016 and the utter pain I felt when 7 years of my online-life had just… if I think about that anxiety attack I might start to cry again, uuuuhm…

in other news, I started a new hobby, I also begun watching The Untamed and there will be a post regarding that coming up (I’ll copy it from facebonk since I posted it there in an aro group as I couldn’t access tumblr)

Uh, I’ll see how much tumblr content™️ I put on facebonk and WhatsApp (my friends suffer, yes x3) and I will “relocate” that content accordingly onto my blogs

#personal whining #i’m back #getting emotional #getting personal

[grindeldorefanatic]

Guyssss I'm feeling emotional about this so I'm gonna rant here :)

Basically I'm in love with Danielle/Nina for so so many reasons (i mean obviously she's literal perfection) but one of the biggest things to me and so many others I'm sure is seeing someone with a similar body to me be on camera, be confident about it, wear tight/revealing clothing and just be so hot and be treated the same as the others. There is such a lack of plus sized representation in media that isn't toxic promotions and rubbing it in your face. I watched that interview that was released a couple hours ago and was amazed at how much it touched my heart to Just see plus sized representation simply... be there. Be normal. Not singled out. And I think that's so important. Like I don't give a flying fuck about those companies "promoting plus size" putting it on banners and shirts and suger coating everything. We just want to be treated as anyone else would. Not even bringing up the fact that they're plus sized, the same way you wouldn't bring up that someone is skinny. Just NORMAL. That, in my eyes is the most beautiful representation.

#Damn emotions overflowing ya'll #getting personal #shadow and bone netflix #danielle galligan #nina zenik #shadow and bone season 2 #rants

[princessofmerchants]

It's remarkable and almost breathtaking the trust Nesta has in Cassian.

In ACOSF chapter 47, Nesta is approaching the lowest she's ever been in her life, running through Velaris away from a confrontation in which she hurt her sister and herself in the short span of a few minutes.

That Nesta allows Cassian to swoop down from the sky and carry her up and away, flying for hours curled in his arms, when she's feeling how she feels in this moment of her life...

Nesta needs to save herself — no one else can do it but her.

But to me there is no question her relationship with Cassian transforms her and pushes her to grow in the ways she needs so that she can save herself.

(And while the physical combat training is a great metaphor for what I'm referring to, it isn't precisely what I mean when I say "save herself" — I mean having the courage to face her mistakes, realize she cannot be perfect, that this fact is okay, and that choosing to live and not dissociate is the braver, stronger choice, even when doing so makes her feel weak and broken sometimes. It's coming when they reach the lake in three chapters, and then continues through the rest of the book, but it begins here with a safe person with which to begin walking toward those truths...)

Having a person like Cassian in Nesta's life who has the strength to create a scaffold of support around her at her lowest and most vulnerable...

It is a treasure and a gift. (I am speaking from personal experience here as well.)

Because as we will see as they begin to hike in the Sleeping Mountains, Nesta's will is beaten to the ground by her own broken thoughts, to the point where she isn't able to decode the world around her accurately. She requires care and a firm, loving accompaniment through the darkness she needs to traverse to get to the other side. That person for her is Cassian.

#anxiety talk #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #pro cassian #pro nessian #getting personal #acosf reread post hofas #acosf #a court of silver flames #sarah j maas #my otp

[emilybrontesghost]

This post is going to get a little bit personal.

For six years, I’ve tried to figure out “what my sexuality is.” My ocd brain that struggles to let go of anything has plagued me for so long and made me feel like I had to have an “answer.” I felt I had to have a specific label that fit who I was because I felt like without it, I would be lost and confused. What I’ve realized though is trying to shrink myself to fit into a neat and tidy box is just not working for me. Feelings and emotions and desires are very complex and I’ve finally decided to listen to all those people who tried to tell me it was okay to not have a specific label and to just use whatever I felt comfortable with. I’ve decided that the ones that fit best for me right now are bi and queer. Queer in particular really resonates with me. I feel like it captures the intangible, fluid nature of how I feel about other people and who I love. It’s a word with a history that I’m aware some people find problematic because it has been used as a slur. I realize older generations may not feel comfortable with this word because of that and no one should feel they need to use a word if it makes them uncomfortable. That said, I have been exposed to this word by the people of my own generation, and I have felt the power that using such a word positively wields. It’s why I’ve decided to claim it for my own. It makes me feel free. I feel like I’m finally allowing myself the space to breathe.

#queer #my identity #getting personal

[chaoticcuriosity]

I've been working on some new things for Somewear in Tyme. And struggling to promote them mainly due to not having the energy to do so. There's a lot happening here and I am tired. I wish it was as simple as listing and leaving but it's not. One of the new things are these rings. Genuine moss agate stacker rings sets. Delicate leaves are paired with moss agate and you have the choice of rose gold or sterling silver. www.etsy.com/listing/1655773711

#rings #small business #gift ideas #moss agate #adjustable rings #handmade jewelry #getting personal #shop small #etsy

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

What are your biggest reflections, lessons learned, and gratitudes for 2023? What are your intentions, goals, and dreams for 2024? Pass this on to 3 blogs you follow!

Hi Chelly my darling!!!! Thank you for this ask!!! Can you believe it’s 2024????? I’m still messing up the dates in my journal lmao.

This is honestly probably going to be a really big response, just because so many things happened this year! As a warning, this does include some talk about DV and religious trauma but there is a happy ending.

Sending all my love to you my angel 💕💕💕

Reflections and Gratitudes

In 2023 a lot of things happened. I had gotten engaged, I graduated from a law school (that brought troubles and triumphs), I studied for the bar exam, took the bar exam, had to break up and go no contact with my fiancé, I found out I failed the bar exam by 6 points, and then I lost a job offer.

I pictured my life completely different. I thought I was going to be a wife. I thought I was going to be a lawyer who lived in their own place. But that isn't what happened. I was so angry at God and I was angry at myself for 'letting' this happen to me.

But I soon realized: The breakup and failing the bar exam is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

Since I was a kid I had planned out my entire life. My life was supposed to go a particular way because if it didn't go that way that means that no one would love me.

I had convinced myself that there was no way that someone could love me unless I achieved certain things.

It got worse once I went to law school. I don't want to get super into it, because I probably will write about it one day, but it's simple to say that the law profession favors white men and makes it explicitly known.

In my law school, it was heavily propagated that the women who were successful and loved and worthy were the ones who were married, and loved by men. I put heterosexual marriage on a pedestal, thinking that the only way that this gaping hole in my heart would be filled would be by being loved and married to a man. Because I am a woman. I am a religious woman. That's what we're supposed to do right?

And I was so angry at God because I thought I did everything I was supposed to do. I did everything everyone told me to do. I did my best to keep my mouth shut. I spoke well. I studied hard. I let things slide and was gentle. I did everything everyone else told me to do and I changed myself and stifled myself even though it nearly killed me. It still wasn't enough for him. It didn't stop him from wanting to hurt me. Why am I not enough to be loved.

I was so angry... I was angry that I wasnt getting married and that I didn't have this job that brought status. But if I got married and passed that exam, I know I wouldn't have survived. I am alive because those two failures.

Those two 'failures' brought this type of freedom that I have never experienced ever. I feel like a child again. I feel true joy.

I am rediscovering who I am. Who Mo TRULY is. What she likes. What she thinks and wants to say. What she wants to be.

I am revisiting hobbies that I had let slip to the wayside. Because I had put all my energy into trying to be enough for someone who needed something I couldn’t provide. Because all my time was spent agonizing and freaking out about whether or not I would be good enough for a degree I already had and a dream I’ve had since I was a child.

I’m realizing how incredible and fulfilling my female friendships and my familial relationship is. I’ve been in two serious relationships. I’ve nearly been married. Never ever, have I felt the kind of deep and pure love in those romantic relationships that I feel from my friends and family. The love I get from my community is worth so much more to me. I feel it and accept it so much more now.

I’ve gone through so much healing. It has changed me in so many ways. I feel like I am truly connecting with people. I can smile and have joy. People I’ve known since I was in highschool are saying, “You’ve never looked better. I’ve never seen you smile like this.”

I’m taking the bar again in February. I’m nervous of course, but I’m not scared. I’m not terrified that the Earth will explode if I don’t pass. I’m not scared that my family won’t love me. I’m not doing this to gain love. I’m doing this because I want to.

Regarding romantic relationships and the future… I have no idea. Right now I’m still processing what happened to me. I forgive my ex. I won’t call him an abuser, because in our situation I don’t think he was. He wasn’t a narcissist and we did love each other. But he was going through so many things, and I couldn’t help him anymore. He needed more than I could give and wanted a life I could not have or support. We do not talk. We won’t talk. But I do wish him every happiness. I hope that things get figured out and that he lives a good life. I don’t know if I will ever get in a serious romantic relationship again. Right now I don’t see it ever happening again. But who knows. I’m 25. I have my whole life ahead of me. I feel young. And if it doesn’t happen. It’s ok. It’s more than ok. Because I have more love around me and inside than I even know what to do with.

Lessons Learned

There is no need to be perfect. I am loved by my family and my friends UNCONDITIONALLY. I don’t have to be something that I am not. I can just be me. I can just be who I am and still be worthy of love.

I am deserving of respect and a love that is gentle and kind and truthful.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

Not everyone will like you. That is OK.

I deserve to be healthy and I deserve to take time to take care of myself.

#talking with friends #asks #getting personal #growth

[the-midnight-post]

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

tagged by @matadorofheart!

Last song: "In Regards to Love: Eros", after all you can't write a Yuri!!! On Ice fic without that on your playlist, eh?

Favorite color: Yellow

Last movie/TV show: I finished the last episode of Attack on Titan the other day and haven't been the same since

Sweet/spicy/savory?: All of them, please and thank!

Relationship status: Picture Team Rocket buying a house together, and that's actually us!

Last thing I googled: "should you wash ginger root", which didn't even matter because I was too half-asleep to remember that I was gonna peel it for this recipe anyway

Current obsession: Listen I was already obnoxious enough about SidLink to begin with, but once Tears of the Kingdom came out, it upgraded my obsession to insufferable levels and I'm living for that

This is the part where I'm supposed to tag nine people to keep it going, but I'm still too newbie on this platform to have enough people who'd be up for it/haven't been tagged already lol, so if you see this and fit that criteria, this is your sign to go for it!

#tag game #getting personal

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

💚🧡💙~

Wooouuuuuld anyone be interested in me sharing my ““character sheet”” for my novel wip?

Main cast characters are all some flavor of aspec

I started writing this novel back in 2022 and “abandoned” it around chapter 24 (of 36(?), the number is way fucking off now)

When I finally got my ass up and picked it back up (I had been writing shorts/ snippets for the characters anyway), I decided it needs a complete revamp and I literally changed the concept of the secondary main character

And the entire premise of how the protag meets said secondary character also changed due to how I remodelled the secondary character’s concept/ background

I’m not far into that direly necessary rewrite but I do have ““character sheets””, character notes, plot notes, and a boatload of snippets/ excerpts

And the abandoned version is technically still available on AO3 because I see little reason in pulling it since nobody’s reading original novels there anyway

#personal whiny shit #personal whining #getting personal #personal #about my writing