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#ghiaccio love church
dolce-tenebra-toscana · 11 months
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La squadra and what languages (other than italian ) i think they might speak:
Risotto ✂️: Greek 🇬🇷
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Italy is very close to Greece, and i think Risotto participated to some summer camps with his church group ( his granny had some connections with the local diocese ) and so he spent 4/5 years of his childhood in the island of Corfù. He knows the basics of the language and can keep up with a conversation but if people start talking to fast his brain shuts down and start singing " Ciuri Ciuri " by Roy Paci.
Prosciutto 🍖: French 🇫🇷
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Ok so with Prosciutto is a lil complicated; his mother was a piano teacher that traveled a lot in France for concerts and sometimes he hat to attend to ( or do his own recital) and being the son of two cold hearted perfectionists he was supposed to speak fluently the language at first try. At the age of 15 ( when he decided he had enough of his family and ran away to Napoli ) he decided to put his knowledge aside and speak only in italian or the sicilian dialect, cause his hate for the tongue was rooted so deep inside of him. Eventually Risotto found out about it and knows that if he needs someone to translate some documents in french,Prosciutto is the right man!
Melone 🍈: Chinese 🇨🇳
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The city of Prato has one of the largest Chinese community in Italy and Melone, being the lil know it all he is, was more than happy to add this skill to his curriculum. He started when he was in university and of course the first thing he tried to do was flirt with the chinese students from the Erasmus program ( his pronounce was terrible at first and received so many slaps in the face ) but the more he practiced the more he actually started enjoying the complexity and history behind the language. Now he uses it when he has to do some hacker jobs or just finding weird sited for his " alone nights "....yes i know, this mann CAN'T be normal.
Illuso 🔎: German 🇩🇪
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Illuso's father was born and raised in Dresden but during a lil trip in Torino, was mesmerized by the beauty of an italian brunette...3 months later he found himself living in a loveless marriage with her and their unborn baby. Now, he didn't love his wife but he truly loved his son and he did everything he could to teach young illuso about his german heritage: he spoke to him in german when his wife wasn't around, sang his childhood's lullabies to him, made illuso watch cartoons and read comic books in german...La Squadra's favourite narcissist may act all tough and brag about his high level skills with the language but truth is, he just remembers fondly those memories with his late father.
Ghiaccio 🧊: Finnish 🇫🇮
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You just got your driving licence, you are an angry teen from Veneto and your first car is a green Panda 4x4 that you are using to run away from the police after your parents had " a lil accident ". What's the best thing you can do to let some steam out? Hide in the countryside of Emilia-Romagna, roll up a j*int and listen to Finnish heavy metal music. Ghiaccio had some really tough times before joining la Squadra, and had a lot of pent up anger to let out, so he found comfort in finnish music and while he screamed with their lead singers in a very akward imitation of their dialect he actually slowly started to learn that ancient and interesting tongue. Now he can proudly speaks a fluent Finnish and whenever he has occasion he spends time with Risotto, blasting music and doing some wild karaoke.
Formaggio 🧀: Spanish 🇪🇸
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Ok cheese man here is the king of flirting, and what language yells sensuality all over the place ( in his mind at least ): spanish~ He spent MONTHS in Ostia Lido, trying to catch the secrets of the iberic latin lovers and how the get all the ladies during his adolescence and now with his arrogan-ehm confidence, roman charm and smooth talking like an italian Ricky Martin he literally has to peel girls from his body. No seriusly 2/3 times the rest of the team thought he wasn't going to get some that night but the moment he starts lowering his voice and speaking spanish, the girl is already swooning in his arms. Watch out this summer chicas~
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reginadaita · 2 years
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La squadra random headcanons pt. 2
Part 2 since Part 1 was too much fun! XD
Risotto:
gets headaches from spicy food
makes a cute pouty mouth when he's embarrassed
likes watching trashy tv from time to time
when football is on, he and Formaggio are screaming their lungs out
Prosciutto:
he's a messy bitch (never tell him tea, he will use anything and anyone against you, has a secret folder where he keeps receipts)
practices vogue dancing in red boots in his room
if you're lucky, you can catch him singing in the morning (when he feels like nobody is around)
Doesn't care when someone is using the bath, will go in regardless
(he is lowkey a misogynist)
Melone:
has a secret TikTok account where he makes videos about his daily life as a mafioso (also under peoples comments and sliding in dms)
will at least once call anyone he meets "gurl" (he thought he ate)
watches drag race with prosciutto
prank called risotto and made him believe that he ordered 20 pizzas (melone getting that cash out here)
Ghiaccio:
has all the painkillers in his room (he probably has a jimmy neutron head after all this rage)
his showers/baths consist out of water with ice cubes (no soap)
uses a Bunsen burner for cooking
gets dragged into every mess by prosciutto
Formaggio:
the paintings in front of the hideout are his (he is very talented when it comes to spraying)
I can totally see him as a patriot, argue with him about Italy or Italian culture and he goes nuts
puts coconut oil on his chest to make him appear more "sexy"
his hair feels like dust and sahara sand
Illuso:
listens to male podcasts (you know which one) because he believes in the sh!t they're saying and will send quotes into the groupchat (getting dragged by everyone)
would love to work with old people (idk I somehow see him as someone who is big on respecting elderly people)
decided to run for a political place when he was drunk
the TikTok fu!ckboy of the house together with Formaggio
Pesci:
goes early to bed (can't keep up with the daily crazy things in the house)
helps risotto when it comes to washing his clothes
goes to church on sunday
he used to train ride back in the day
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Who loves triggering yandere assassins? I love triggering yandere assassins! May I request our dear squadra (obsessing over someone they're friends with) overhearing their darling on the phone, admitting that they have a crush on their eccentrically dressed friend but feel like it's hopeless as they are way out of his league so they've scheduled a date for tonight to get him out of their head :))
This one isn’t as yandere lol
Risotto very rarely gets flustered. Yet he knows it’s not Metallica that’s making his face heat up. As a child with overly religious parents, he had come to terms with the fact that he would never be worthy of love and the only way he could get into heaven was if he devoted his life to the church. But here it was, the golden opportunity to eat his cake and have it too. As with all things, he’s assertive when he asks (though in his tone it was more of a demand) you to go to lunch with him. There’s a swelling of pride in his chest when you explain you had plans but they could wait.
Ghiaccio decides to take the upfront approach and hangs up the phone on your behalf. He’s very quick about it, even though he tripped over his own words and spoke a little too quickly. It sounded something like: “I’mtakingyoutotheicerinksoIcanteachyouhowtoskatesowecanakatetogether.” So that’s what you did. Ghiaccio especially liked it that you immediately canceled your date and hopped in his car. It was a bonus that you clung on to him when you first got on the ice.
Melone goes out of his way to sabotage the date. It’s no secret he loves the nightlife, so it wasn’t very far-fetched to see him out and about. He acts like he hadn’t planned upon finding you and your date. It was very subtle at first, but halfway through dinner he started making flirty eyes at you when your date wasn’t looking. After, when you and the date went your separate ways, Melone clung on to your arm and smothered your cheek in kisses while claiming that he could treat you way better than your date. And that’s how he set up your first date together.
Prosciutto is upset, but not for the reason you might think. He’s mostly irritated that you wouldn’t confront him about your feelings. He’s not exactly the type to have social anxiety or worry about potentially ruining a relationship. In typical Prosciutto fashion, he invites you out to dinner at an upscale restaurant, telling you to wear something nice. He smirks to himself when he hears you squeal to your friend over the phone as he leaves.
Pesci almost explodes with happiness, but immediately goes to Prosciutto for advice. And then he’s sent back down to you because he “needs to make a move quickly otherwise they’ll be gone”. Admittedly it was a bit rough around the edges, and he bit his nails a lot, but he was able to get out that he really really liked you and wanted to take you on a date! Of course when you asked him where, he sort of shut down. You two ended up just staying in and cuddling through a movie.
Illuso goes full soap opera and accuses the other person on the phone of trying to take his love away (even though it was your friend, not your date). He then dramatically flourishes and confesses to you that he loves you and would do anything to win back your love. Of course he’s actually banking on the fact you’ll date him anyway, he didn’t really want to put any effort in. Thankfully (or as he would say, all according to plan) you accepted his dramatic confession with a kiss on the cheek.
Formaggio sidles up to you and puts his hands in your pockets. He’s very blasé about it, even if he was jumping around from excitement a few moments before. He nips at your ears and neck until you finish on the phone and promptly asks if you were up for a date tonight. It’s a very rough attempt at being sexy, but it works! But that means he’ll be hanging around you all the time, touching, pressing, and kissing you to make sure everyone knows you’re his (even if you don’t know that yet).
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wri0thesley · 3 years
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May I request some La Squadra childhood headcanons (upbringing/family/habits/demeanor) :)) Maybe Mista and Abbacchio too if it’s not too much trouble since we already saw a bit of baby Bruno and it made me so curious about the other two! I always imagined Abbacchio to be a bit of a teacher’s pet as a kid lol. Your writing brings me life tysm!!!!
warnings for abusive family, human experimentation, misogyny, illness, hospitals, death, etc! 
Risotto’s family did not care much about him. He’s the middle child of five - they grew up in a rural part of Sicily, in a house that used to be a farmhouse but was merely a house by the time Risotto came along (aside from a flock of chickens constantly in the gardens). He had a traditional Italian family full of people - various aunts, uncles and cousins - but his cousin was his favourite, seeing in Risotto’s quiet nature something similar to his own. Risotto was uncomfortable with there being too many people around and found his home life cramped and uncomfortable and loud. At the local village school he was often hunted out for games of sport (his height and muscle growing in at an early age), but he shied away from making friends, not sure how to handle himself around people who shouted and laughed, envying his siblings for everything seeming so natural. He often stayed with the cousin, and it’s through them he discovered metal music and his now signature look. His parents didn’t have time for him, but his cousin always did, becoming a makeshift father figure where Risotto’s failed. He grew very attached, and as we know, his cousins death hit him hard. 
Formaggio grew up with a single father; his mother simply disappeared in the middle of the night and he never heard from her again. He was always loud, brash and cocky - his father was much the same way. They moved around from place to place, his father taking odd jobs to sustain them and never really getting the hang of them. His father was fairly young and a perpetual teenager, and Formaggio was much the same way. Despite living in occasional poverty, he always had a smile and he and his father were close to one another. He did not really make friends - other children were aware of his unwashed clothes, the fact his lunch was not made as neatly as theirs, the fact that his address was a one-bedroom apartment on the bad side of town - so he turned to acting out and violence, gaining a reputation as a Badly Behaved Child. His father fell into Passione in the need to support his son, and like father like son, Formaggio followed in his footsteps at fourteen (finding a camaraderie and sense of responsibility he never had at school and subsequently just stopping going there). 
Illuso got into Passione for the money and the power. He was an only child and he had a nice upbringing, honestly - he just found himself not special at anything, and he desperately wanted to be. He flitted from hobby to hobby and interest to interest; he was clever and he noticed things, and neither of his parents really knew how to deal with their sharp-tongued child. He was a bit of a bully at school, but not the kind that is ever found out - Illuso’s bullying was quieter than that, whispered words and rumours that never seemed to find their way back to him. He was well-acquainted with blackmail before he turned sixteen. He knew how to sniff out weaknesses in other people - he was always surrounded by people, but it was a lottery as to whether they liked Illuso or whether they just didn’t want to be on his wrong side. Always willing to volunteer for things, too confident for his own good - eventually, he stopped caring about being ‘special’ at something, and just worked on being the ‘best around him’. 
Melone’s backstory can be found here. Both of his parents were academics and lecturers in genetic science, and he’s the eldest child by eight years. His family moved around rather a lot. He has two younger sets of twins as siblings; one set of boys, and one set of girls. Growing up, his parents considered him less interesting and a little slow - he turned to science and genetics as a way to get their attention and praise; despite the fact he showed a natural affinity for it, by this time, they were far more interested in experimenting on their younger children and Melone was ignored. His nature is curious and insistent - he learnt to insist or to be ignored. He had to look after his younger siblings a lot growing up; they were home-schooled where he was not, and the strange separation of them and him and all of the children at school (Melone not quite fitting into either group) meant that he always seemed just a little off. 
Prosciutto is a mafia man through and through. His family are entrenched in old bloodlines and uninvestigated deaths - unfortunately, though, they are a family that had somewhat fallen from grace by Prosciutto’s birth. The definition of faded glamour and keeping up appearances; rooms in a big, drafty old house that have an old bed and a falling apart dressing table. His father always talked to him about how it was his and his brothers’ job to keep the bloodline going - a traditional chauvinist of a man. His mother was very quiet and pretty; she encouraged him to small interests like old music and fashion, but was always silent around her husband. He grew up knowing his life was expendable. Youngest son of two; his elder brother died within months of finally being given his assignment within Passione and honestly, Prosciutto knows his father would rather he have died. A quiet little boy who did not make friends (he had a tutor) and had too much of the weight of the world on his shoulders in the knowledge of how many of his mother’s jewels were pasteboard, where the guns were kept, and just how many people he saw regularly were murderers. At his assignment at sixteen, Prosciutto had to learn exactly how to blend in, because many of the mafiosos he was suddenly surrounded by did not appreciate what they saw as his superiority. 
Pesci was an only child of a single mother; his father passed away when he was young. He was rather sickly growing up, and it made his mother indulgent - despite growing up fairly middle class, he never wanted for anything, and they lived well beyond their means. His mother fussed over him, always afraid that he was going to have a relapse into his childhood illness - very much a child wrapped in cotton wool. It gave him his own complex about taking risks; he didn’t want to get hurt. He didn’t want to be rejected by other children. He was slow at his schoolwork but devoted to his mother, and other children saw him as a prime target to bully. He was kicked around a lot at school and it eventually made him too easy to subdue when he suddenly filled out and shot up and became a threat; found himself, too often, a henchman to more articulate, meaner children. Grateful to be accepted, he went along with the flow, despite feeling in the very core of his gut that he was disgusted by them. He ended up in Passione because his mother needed medical treatment and in trying to sort it out realised just how much debt they were in.
Ghiaccio just had a normal run-of-the-mill described as ‘average’ by everyone upbringing - both of his parents, an only child, a mother with a professional job, middle-class. His father was partially deaf - in my experience, people with deaf parents either speak very loudly or very quietly, and Ghiaccio has gone for the former. He learnt LIS at a very early age, and it’s part of the reason he can be so anal about pronunciation and language as a whole - he’s utterly fascinated by it, and that fascination started in early childhood. His parents were also indulgent of him, but having a younger brother meant that he didn’t get the full brunt of that indulgence - his brother was a little more of a ‘rough and tumble’ boy. He liked football and weights, and when he took up a sport Ghiaccio’s parents decided Ghiaccio should learn to do something too and asked him what he thought - they were surprised when he said ice skating, but figured he would go into ice hockey or something. He didn’t. For a while, he was fairly well-known in the competitive figure skating under eighteens circuit. It gave him two things; one, a competitive need to win and be good at things (and a propensity to tantrum when he lost) and two, a taste for flashy, expensive things (have you seen this man’s car). His parents eventually didn’t know how to deal with his arrogance, and he fell into Passione based on a ‘sponsor’ he ended up embroiled with at nineteen when his parents didn’t want to fund his ‘hobby’ anymore (they kept pouring resources into his younger brother, of course - Ghiaccio always felt a bit like they didn’t take him seriously). He left ice skating competitively behind, but he couldn’t leave behind the nice things or the anger issues he accrued. 
I’ve written about Sorbet and Gelato’s childhood/backstory here! But a brief, shorter version:
Gelato had a loving family and a privileged upbringing. Always enough money, always enough to eat - an only child, who perhaps was a little rowdy at school but whomst his parents were very proud of. Both of them were traditional types; thinks a man should be strong, should be the real driving force of all relationships - they were extremely proud of him going into the army. Cleverer than people tend to give him credit for, sharp-eyed, a constant humming need to be doing something with his hands. 
Sorbet was orphaned at a young age in a house fire and taken in by a church orphanage. He’s quiet but equally clever; his cleverness tends to be a little less in your face. He was a comforting presence to other people and took care of the younger boys (even now, he feels a sense of duty to some of La Squadra) - being low-voiced, soothing and commanding. He spent a lot of time reading. The church orphanage was poor; Sorbet has learnt to appreciate luxury where Gelato takes it for granted and it’s part of the reason he’s so concerned with finances even in his forties. 
Abbacchio grew up in a houseful of women. His father left when he was still young; he was . . . not a nice man, and Abbacchio has vague memories of his mother carefully applying concealer over black eyes. It’s part of the reason Abbacchio became a police officer - knowing that he was still out there, not paying for what he’d done . . . Abbacchio wanted to ensure other people did not go through it. He had a little sister (by six years) who adored him, and his grandmother (who had once been an opera singer and still had a touch of that old-time glamour). He was fairly well off; at least, after he and his mother went to live with her mother again. His grandmother was EXTREMELY indulgent of her serious pretty-eyed grandson (his affinity for opera comes from her) who wanted so hard to be a Good Man. He was made fun of as a child for being a teacher’s pet and a nerd, you’re right - he adopted being a goth and dressing like that fairly early in his life. Nobody was going to threaten to punch him in leather and black lipstick, he thought - and nobody, too, needed to know that his CD player was blasting Monteverdi and not heavy metal. 
Mista was the only child of an unreliable mother and a father who left when he was four (he kept very vaguely in touch; Mista has three little sisters who he sees occasionally but keeps quiet about his employ to. After the events of VA, he’s established a fund for each of them, but he wasn’t really permitted to see them much growing up). Even after his parents leaving and his neighbour’s loss of an eye (and the subsequent setting in of his fear of the number four), he was an easy-going child who made friends easily and smiled at all and sundry; he was never particularly book-clever, but he was good-natured and had many friends. His mother’s lack of reliability meant that he became very fond of simple things other people took for granted - when she died, he was sad, but his life did not change much. He’d already learnt to fend for himself when it came to food and the like; often coming home to an empty house and simply making do. (The lack of food in the house is part of the reason he gained such an affinity for things he saw as luxuries like wines and cheeses). He learnt to use his dark eyes and charming smile and warm nature to win sleepovers with schoolfriends and evening meals with their parents. Always a little bit behind his peers in having cool gadgets or interesting stories, Mista was content just to have a simple life and good health. 
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honeytea8 · 4 years
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✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨
[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]
Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)
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I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy! 
He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning. 
If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage. 
I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you! 
I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!
I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ‘lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too) 
He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol. 
This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!
Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.
Prosciutto will respect you, period.
A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.
Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda). 
But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.
Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite. 
The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him. 
Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!
It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out. 
He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.
When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy. 
He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t. 
Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information). 
The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it. 
His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess. 
As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.
Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾
Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect. 
A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements?  LMAO
It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣
But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many. 
This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.” 
Peg this bitch so he can shut up.  
Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.
Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back. 
Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.
He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him. 
LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!
Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!
When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is. 
That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.
Formaggio is next 💀 
According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO
I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”. 
@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree. 
Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”
His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”
Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy. 
Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later. 
As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain. 
Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy. 
No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.
Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.
Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet. 
However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”
He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭
Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy. 
Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says. 
He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me). 
Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay. 
Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side. 
I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%. 
Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!
However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down. 
A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing. 
Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly. 
A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that! 
Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.
If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.
If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated. 
He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)
Goddamn Illuso... idk man.
I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons. 
The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool. 
Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!! 
I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all! 
He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones! 
His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you. 
Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time. 
If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to. 
Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on. 
He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun. 
Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go. 
One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week. 
It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes! 
He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him
Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.
Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it! 
We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them. 
Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.
Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.
When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.
Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?
Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao
But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!
I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)
While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.
He baby, so let him have it lol
In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period. 
Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there. 
Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.
Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me
The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)
As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.
Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you
After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal
Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺
After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.
I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know
One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????
He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.
Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.
He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)
Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol
ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!
Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!
Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐
Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior
So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe
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self-shipyard · 2 years
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"Wonderful Christmastime" - A Self-Ship Fic
Synopsis: On the way home from a Christmas party, the lovers tell each other about memories of the holiday. During this, Lumaca tells Gh.iaccio about a special Christmas wish she's always had, and he's more than ready to make that wish come true.
Word Count: 1.4k
CW: In-Character Swearing, Brief Religious Mention, Christmas Fluff
“Ghiaccio, honey?”
Ghiaccio shifted his gaze for a moment, from the road to the passenger seat where Lumaca sat and lovingly watched him.
The two of them had been on the road for about an hour now and they had one more hour left to go. They were making their way home from a Christmas dinner with her family. A fun time, for sure!... If not a little bit hectic at the same time.
The couple had their fun, but they were just happy that they’d soon get to be home together, with hot cocoa, cookies, and of course lots of cuddles.
A gentle smile spread across his face at the sight of her.
“What is it, Lumaca?”
“I was just wondering… What was Christmas like for you growing up?”
“It was a pretty busy time,” he recalled. “It never was anything special though; my parents would wake me up, I’d unwrap my presents, then we’d go to church though I wasn’t all that interested; the local pastor was a pretentious asshole.”
She giggled softly, making him grin before continuing.
“Yeah, as you can imagine I would’ve preferred reading the new books I had gotten. But anyways, then later in the day we would have dinner with my cousins.” His brows furrowed and his grip on the wheel tightened. “I always dreaded that part. They’d intentionally try to piss me off more often than not, prodding at me and calling me names. They were a bunch of dumbasses. I’ve gotten into fights with them, but they were bigger than me, so I always got the worst of it. I fucking hated it.”
“Aw Ghiaccio,” she sympathized as she lightly patted his thigh. “I’m so sorry, it must’ve been nerve-wracking.”
Her words and her gesture brought him a wave of serenity, making his grip on the wheel loosen again.
“It’s okay. I did get my relief when it was time for everyone to sit down and eat. And besides, those bastards would be no match for me now; I’m way fucking stronger in every sense! Physically I have muscle, ability-wise I have a powerful stand…” A grin flickered across his lips. “And for moral support I have the most wonderful wife in the world!”
She blushed and put a hand to her mouth, as though trying to contain her love for him.
“Baby you’re making me blush,” she swooned between her fingers. “Such sweet words from the most wonderful husband in the universe…”
“The universe?... Me?”
Now it was his turn to blush; his cheeks quickly became the same color as his glasses.
“You do deserve the best Lumaca; I’m just the luckiest to be your husband. And you know, I’m really happy that I get to spend Christmas with you from now on.”
“Christmas with you will always be the best, my love!” she chirped.
Suddenly, her gaze dropped to her lap and her voice softened as she added on, “And who knows; maybe now we’ll have a better chance of seeing snow next Christmas.”
He looked over at her, eyebrows raised.
“You want a snowy Christmas, Lumaca?”
Lumaca sighed softly, looking out her window and over the cityscape they were passing. The faint glow of the lights looked so pretty reflected in her eyes, he noted.
“I do. I admit, I’ve wanted one since I was little… Snow always seemed so magical, but I grew up on a place where snow is incredibly rare. So, we never got to see one. To experience one with you… Now that would be so magical…” She turned her gaze in his direction and a smile grazed her lips. “But you know…“
She leaned over and planted a kiss against his cheek with a warm smile on her lips.
“… With you by my side, Christmas already feels just perfect.”
Ghiaccio's lips trembled slightly and his eyes widened as he felt his love for her made his heart want to leap out of his chest. The way she made him feel…
Lumaca really was his soulmate. His snowdrop. His everything.
He just had to do something for her.
Suddenly, something in the distance caught his eye. He looked over to his right and saw a city park, vibrant with all sorts of winter flowers and foliage visible even from the road they were on.
An idea crossed his mind.
“Bucaneve,” he asked. “There’s a park up ahead. Would it be okay if we stopped and walked there for a little bit? Just to… You know, stretch our legs. I mean, we got about an hour left on the road.”
In that instant, she recognized that tone of voice. It was the same one he used when he had called her for dinner several months ago. The same one he had used during said dinner, and the same one he had used up until he had gotten on one knee and asked her to marry him.
He was planning something special.
“Of course, Ghiaccio my love,” she smiled, suppressing her intuition. “I mean, we aren’t in any real hurry. And the stars are lovely tonight.”
Within the next ten minutes, they had parked the car on the street next to the park and he was leading her down a cobblestone pathway. A cool breeze passed them by as they walked through the fragrant flowers hand-in-hand while she gently touched the silky petals with her other hand. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye every now and then, but he was so focused on finding the perfect spot.
Ghiaccio had to suppress a grin when he finally found it; a little wooden bridge that crossed over a brook. Its guardrail was adorned with twinkling Christmas lights that seemed to make the whole area come to life.
“This way,” he declared.
Despite being clueless to her husband’s plans, Lumaca couldn’t stop herself from feeling the same welling excitement he was feeling. So, she laughed quietly at the feeling of him tugging at her arm as he pulled her towards the bridge.
Finally, the two of them stood together in the center of the deck.
He let go of her hand, mumbling something to the effect of, “Check out the water for a quick second. I uhm… I think there are some lily flowers in there. But be careful! I don’t want you falling in.”
Suppressing a giggle at his attempt at creating a distraction, she complied and wandered curiously over to the side of the bridge. Looking over the guardrail, her eyes went from spot to spot to try and find the lily flowers he told her about. Though, all she could see were the string-lights on the guardrail reflecting against the crystal-clear waters of the babbling stream below.
“I don’t see any flowers love,” she hummed. “But Ghiaccio, this is already so beautiful. I’m so glad that we-…”
Lumaca stopped as a shiver travelled against her skin.
The temperature behind her had suddenly dropped, a change she recognized as the work of her husband’s stand, White Album.
Feeling a little curious, she turned around to ask him if he was alright.
Before she could say anything, she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. It was something small and white, and it was floating in the breeze.
She turned her head to focus her gaze upon it, and her eyes went wide.
It was a snowflake.
She turned her head in time to watch another one fall. Then another. She turned her gaze towards the sky and watched as, one by one, snowflakes fell from the sky around the bridge, quickly powdering the area in a soft frost.
Lumaca brought a hand over her mouth and her eyes twinkled with tears as she finally looked over at Ghiaccio. He was grinning proudly and holding up to the sky a hand, where the glove of White Album had materialized.
“Gh… Ghiaccio?” she breathed.
“Huh, would you look at that?” he beamed. “It’s about damn time it started snowing here! Now my beloved Lumaca can have a snowy Christmas, just like she deserves! It’s a–!”
He stopped as he suddenly felt her wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. She pressed her ear against his chest, listening to the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat, and she let a few happy tears roll down her cheeks into the snow.
“Ghiaccio…” she mumbled in between happy little sobs. “I love you so much, my ice pop… You’re so sweet to me…”
With a deep blush and a warm smile, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss against the top of her head.
“Merry Christmas, bucaneve… I love you too.”
And there they stood, holding each other snugly and swaying gently in the breeze as snow fell all around them in their own little winter wonderland.
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timetowritefic · 3 years
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Hi Hi! Thank you for dropping by. I'm really excited to write about it🤩🤩 Thank you for being so sweet and polite too. How can I say no🙏 It takes me a while to finish and it’s worth it!
Also just heads up, this post will talk about sex and suggestive stuff. Nothing too explicit or in detail though! I mark this NSFW for Risotto part just to be safe!! 
Formaggio
Formaggio can be considered a shameless playboy because he's so casual and open when it comes to sex. He flirts. He jokes about lewd stuff. He won't be shy to approach someone in the bar and get touchy with them. This man also gives off roguish vibe.
So anyone would be surprised if they know that he values the first time experience. Believe it or not, when he was young, he didn't immediately jump into sex the first time he got the chance 🙀. Yes, he was a curious hot-blooded teen. (He still IS but replaces the word teen with adult😂😂😂)​ He was hardly a prude too. He had flirted, kissed and made out multiple times but not full sex until he found the one. He wants it to be a good memory, with someone he really likes.
Also even though he's more casual when it comes to sex partners now, he still sleeps with someone he genuinely likes, not necessarily love, just affection or physical attraction are enough. It explained why sex with him is passionate. 
If his partner said they're not a virgin, he will grin and say 'me neither!' 
But if his partner says it's their first time, woah, he pauses a bit. Firstly, he will feel honored. Second, he will feel nervous if he will be good enough for their first time experience. 
So when it comes to his s/o who values her first time too, he totally understands. He will feel super honored that his girlfriend preserves her body ☺️☺️
He won't pressure you into it. But he will ask how far you're willing to try with him. Careful with your answer because he will ABUSE it to the full extent. Kissing is the furthest you allow? Well, get ready to be drunk by kisses. He will kiss your hand, kiss your cheeks, KISS KISS you. This man expresses his feelings through touch. To be honest, he can't keep his hands off his girlfriend too. 
Illuso
You expect to be mocked when you said that to him, but he didn't. Illuso so much as smirked at you and said something like 'Alright, princess' 
The truth is that he can relate to you. He was once a shy sensitive kid. He didn't adopt this cocky facade until he was a teen. He hates being surrounded by a group of strangers in parties but he tolerates it to prove he's not a loser. He just stays with popular people for the limelight. 
He wanted to keep his first time to someone significant, but he lost it in a drunk sex at a party. He still regrets it. 
That's why he will respect your choice. Illuso won't admit it but he 
already sets a mind goal to give you the best first time when the time comes. Expect soft music, rose petals and scented candles 😂😂. He's prepared. 
He's a jerk still. He will seduce you like an incubus luring a maiden. He will do everything to test your patience, from whispering suggestive things into your ears or 'accidentally' being naked. He will enjoy your reactions so much. Of course, you should thirst and drool over him, he thinks. 
Prosciutto​
He is a traditional *cough* old *cough* man himself. So he gives you a mature nod at your choice. 
He is already a gentleman to you but he cherishes you even more. He will give you a ride home. He will give chaste kisses on the back of your hand or your cheeks when he says goodbye. He will strictly respect your boundaries.
I and my friends think that Prosciutto dreams of a family - a traditional one with a reliable husband, loving housewife and kids. So he dreams about having a family with his girlfriend. 
The sad truth is that he will overthink. In his line of work, it's too risky and almost impossible to have a dream family like that. He can take the short-lived happiness for himself but what about you? If he's gone, what will happen to you? Is it okay to take your hand for marriage then leave you a widow? There are so many nights where he lies awake, thinking about this over and over again. 
Pesci
You and Pesci share the same thought about sex. He wants to wait for the right time and the right person. 
I hc that he has zero or little experience when it comes to relationships. So he's generally nervous but he does his best. 
His love for you is innocent. Absolutely has no problem with no sexual stuff and supports you. Spending quality time with you and holding your hands are enough 💖💖. 
Pesci is one of those who seriously thinks about marrying you. Not that all of them didn't want to marry you but they have different opinions and ways around it. Pesci really thinks about the wedding, you in the wedding dress, your shared house, supporting you. He wants to make you happy with him. 
He's the sweetest boy. Period. 
Melone
You know him. He's promiscuous. You're the opposite of him. But it's also the opposite attraction 😍😍. 
After knowing you, he analyzes your personality and kind of predicts this. When you told him that you won’t have sex with him until marriage, he jokes that he needs to find the nearest church then.
But he understands you. People have different opinions about sex. If you have negative opinions about sex before marriages, he will more or less list down the pros and cons of it for you. This man is the type who thinks outside the box. He doesn't care about traditions or rules. So he wants to open your eyes. 
But if you still insist, he accepts different opinions. It fascinates him even. 
But you know Melone, this guy has no boundaries 😂😂😂 Intentional or not, sexual or not, he will invade your personal space and touch you. You have to slap his hands away. 
You need to have a strong mind with this one. Just a simple kiss with him can really lead to something more. You have so many close calls with Melone. 
Ghiaccio
I think Ghiaccio is not much interested in sex himself. Most of his interest is elsewhere. 
I think he hasn't had many sexual encounters. He sets a standard and if no one in the bar can pass them, he will go home alone. He's not desperate. 
So you're his girlfriend - the chosen one. He feels comfortable around you and one day he might suddenly have the need to touch you. 
When you tell him that you will only have sex after marriage, he pauses a bit and backs off. He will say ok. He doesn't complain. 
But then when he's alone he suddenly thinks 'When will we get married? Will we ever get married at all?' 
While some members' concern about marriage comes from personal issues, Ghiaccio, Prosciutto and Risotto have realistic takes on it. Their occupation and marriage are like parallel lines. 
Sometimes you caught Ghiaccio being frustrated about it. He won't admit that he's concerned about marriage more than about sex. So both of you need to communicate about it. 
Risotto
… Anyone thinks Risotto is a virgin? 
Or at least he's not as experienced as people expect him to be. 
I hc him as a socially awkward man. He doesn't have many friends ever since he was a kid and his cousin, whom he cherished, was killed when he was only 14. The trauma did that to him. 
He's stoic and calm. Also yes he's confident in his body. He works hard for that greek god physique. If he can walk around in that bare chest outfit, he gotta have a lot of confidence. 
So people think he's a hot hardcore dude but in truth he has never been naked around his members. Formaggio, Melone and Gelato can run around the base butt-naked all they want but Risotto won't EVER. People may think he wants to remain professional but he actually doesn't want to deal with stares and catcalls😂😂😅
**NSFW part here But I think Risotto feels suddenly shy if he's naked in a sexual situation. He will stare at the ground and cover his privates. It’s hard to tell that he’s awkward because he’s normally stoic and quiet. But if you know him enough, you will notice that he’s dying inside. Also I think he gets really insecure when people freak out at his size. If the partner gets uncomfortable or hurt during the act, he feels super guilty and might sulk in a corner. Poor man. 
All in all, I think for this case, you have to be the one who convinces him to have sex with you LMAO😂😂😂😭 He's just secretly nervous. 
Risotto is a realistic man but I think he’s also emotional himself. I hc him as a guy who has a lot of internal conflicts. He wants to marry you. He wants to have you as his wife. He knows love is dangerous in his line of work but his love for you is also hard to be ignored. But at the end of the day, he loves you and will do everything to make you happy. Sex or not, marriage or not, he's happy to have you. 
Sorbet & ​Gelato
Oh boy. Who sends a lamb to the two wolves. 
They are mean. They are original rule breakers. Traditions and social structures are also rules. They will smash them to pieces with wide grins on their faces. 
I think other than sexual aspects, you will clash with these two a lot because you're traditional while they're so chaotic. 
Part of them wants to tarnish you. They will lure you into the darker side. The true example of 'Aren't you tired to be nice? Don't you wanna go apeshit?' 
Like Illuso, they will provoke you but make it 10 times worse. Better clutch your spiritual anchor and hope you have a mental fortitude of a stone wall. 
The more you struggle the more they want to mess with you. Do you want to run away from them now? Too bad that's not a choice either. I'm so sorry. 
Surprise. Surprise. They're the first ones who marry you because as I said they didn’t care about any other thing. They love you. You love them. Marry. Period. They will buy you the most beautiful wedding dress. They invite their friends (other LS members). Then they easily take you to a church to get married like it's just a tour to Walmart (If you're not christian then you can have another wedding of your choice but you got this one first) Is the Father threatened or blackmailed? Let's not find out. 
I will leave the days after the marriage at your imagination. 
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marble-writes · 3 years
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how about some headcanons for how la squadra would celebrate easter? or if they even would lol
Formaggio doesn’t care about Jesus, just those sweet sweet chocolate bunnies and marshmallow chicks! If he were back home at his local church, well... the Easter egg hunt on church campus was only for kids 10 years old and under, lol. Ok, he kinda cares about the religious aspect of Easter.
Illuso is like, “why are you guys talking about Jesus when you could me talking about me??” Just kidding. He just stuffs his mouth with fish on during Lent, but he doesn’t fast. Fasting is for fools who don’t love food.
Pesci buys all of those delicious chocolate and marshmallow treats with Formaggio! And he goes to church with his Fra, and may be the only reason why Prosciutto remembers that it’s Easter.
Prosciutto will go to church and participate in mass and Lent... if he remembers. The only proof he has is if he comes home with an olive branch blessed by the local priest.
Ghiaccio was not raised with faith, in fact he was raised agnostic. So he does not care if Jesus came back from the dead (because he doesn’t believe that), and only cares about the cake and chocolate.
Melone fasts and celebrates Lent and will not stop talking about how the rabbit is a symbol of fertility. Buys lots of chocolate and candy and eats it all without regret! He spends most of the time baking on Easter.
Risotto simply does not celebrate Easter because his mom didn’t celebrate it, and he’s not Christian or Catholic. He also believes that the holiday nowadays is just to sell a bunch of chocolate, just like Valentine’s Day.
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abbacchiosbelt · 4 years
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Can I get wedding headcanons for all of La Squadra? Like what style of wedding they’d have, how they react to their s/o in their dress or tux, that kind of stuff...! Maybe even wedding night HCs if you want...?
under the cut for length!
Risotto prefers a smaller and more traditional wedding, perhaps even in a Catholic church if you don’t mind. He may have lapsed on his religion, but his upbringing was important to him. It’d be a very private affair for your safety — his men are there as his closest confidants as well as security. Still, Risotto is in awe that he found someone willing to spend their life with him. Seeing you walk down the short (but still decorated with the perfect touch) aisle in your custom-made dress or tux leaves the intimidating man at a loss for words. 
The ceremony is short and to the point, with Risotto leaning down to whisper his own handwritten vowels to you. He’s actually rather reserved and shy about showing affection in front of others, so his special words are for you and you alone. 
There’s an interesting twist to your ceremony, though. Risotto makes the rings then and there with a mixture of your blood and his using Metallica. It’s a bit morbid, but 100% Risotto.
After the ceremony, the men will escort the two of you to a private villa before heading off for the night, stationed nearby (but not close enough to impede on your privacy) in case anything were to happen.
Risotto insists on cooking you your favorite meal with a glass of expensive and perfectly-aged wine. While it’s not traditional, it’s his silent way of thanking you for all you’ve done and everything you will do for him in the future.
Once he has a glass (or three) of wine in him himself, he’ll set up the record player so the two of you can share a private ‘first dance’ before he whisks you off to the bedroom to finish the night.
Formaggio never thought he’d be the type of guy to get married, so he’s at a loss for what wedding planning entails. While he chimes in with his opinion, he’s far more likely to leave it to you. The only thing he wants is an open bar — though he does promise to behave himself. It turns out to be a lovely little wedding ceremony, held in an outdoor space that’s far from peeking eyes. While the men of La Squadra spend most of the night playfully ragging on Formaggio, they’re happy to see their friend happy. Formaggio absolutely cries and laughs in joy when he sees you all done up in your wedding outfit.
Risotto is the officiant (because they can do that online now, as discovered by Melone) and most of the time is spent with Formaggio loudly & proudly declaring his love for you. Once the ceremony is over, he’ll sweep you off your feet in front of everyone and carry you to the cozy indoor reception area. (With that bar he wanted!)
The rest of the night is pretty lively, with lots of dancing and drinking. Formaggio gets extra handsy with you on the dance floor, to no one’s surprise. He just loves you so much!
With the night finally winding down, Formaggio is more than ready to christen your now ‘marital bed’ with several rounds staking his claim as your husband. 
Illuso, if his career choice was something different, would have an extravagant and over-the-top wedding. As it stands, he can’t afford to have something so flashy, let alone risk your safety by having something that stands out so much. Still, he takes a big part in the wedding planning process and manages to combine both your ideals to create the perfect wedding for both of you. The venue is beautifully decorated and Illuso manages to get a few of your closest friends and relatives there privately. It’s everything you could have asked for with the hints of the dream wedding Illuso once planned for. (There are always vow renewals...)
Illuso looks more than handsome in his tux, but he feels like the luckiest man on earth when he sees you in your wedding attire. You’re more than stunning — you’re picture perfect to him. Once again, Risotto acts as an officiant and the two of you share both traditional and personalized vows.
There’s delicious food catered by some of Italy’s best chefs (apparently someone had owed Illuso a favor) and a substantial cake that both of you smash in each other’s face. All in all, it’s a lovely little wedding that could fit right inside a twee wedding blog or magazine, had you made it public.
The night is just for you and Illuso. Your sweet husband will take you into the mirror world so absolutely no one can interrupt you — you’re completely safe with him, as he always wants it to be.
Pesci gets really into wedding planning with you! With your encouragement, he feels a little more confident in making decisions and the two of you bond further while planning your wedding. You decide on an early evening beach wedding with just you, Pesci, Prosciutto, and Risotto. Pesci is a shy and private man, so he doesn’t want a big audience and knows you’ll be okay with it too. 
Prosciutto officiates this time and helps Pesci set up grabbing your rings with Beach Boy — it turns out very sweet and Pesci can’t stop smiling when you laugh in delight at his retrieval of the rings. He thinks you look absolutely stunning in your outfit and turns bright red when you call him handsome. It’s very cute.
Prosciutto and Risotto watch carefully while you and Pesci ride off in the sunset on the boat Pesci saved up so long for, the two of you headed towards a private island to spend a short honeymoon on. The cabin is stocked with plenty of supplies and the two of you get to enjoy your wedded bliss in private!
Pesci’s favorite part of the night is watching you lounge happily on the deck while he maneuvers the boat towards your destination, for once feeling completely confident that he’s made the best decision of his life. He thinks that all night, especially when you playfully push him onto the bed and show your thanks for the smooth boat ride. 
Prosciutto turns into a Bridezilla. It’s what you knew would happen, yet seeing it happen is something else. He keeps it away from you, somehow, but you feel a little bad for the wedding planners. Still, your wedding is nothing short of immaculate and you can barely believe your eyes when you walk into the completely transformed venue. Prosciutto is very smug and happy about it. Like Risotto, he prefers a traditional ceremony. A few close friends and family are invited, and Prosciutto is waiting to show you off the second he sees you walking down the aisle. 
Once he’s assured that everything is going perfectly, Prosciutto can’t help but show you off to everyone, exclaiming how unendingly perfect his bride/groom/partner is. It’s not like him to be this affectionate in public, so you don’t mind eating it up.
No one can quite believe that Prosciutto is acting so domestic, but they’re happy for their teammate and friend. Watching him make googly eyes at you while you cut the wedding cake has Ghiaccio gagging and Melone lamenting about how he wishes he could find love like that.
Night brings you to a private plane ride to somewhere out of the country with Prosciutto on your arm, riling you up by whispering all the things he can’t wait to do to you on your honeymoon. Tonight, you might become a member of the mile-high club.
Melone is over the moon that he’s found someone to marry — but surprisingly, he prefers a short and private ceremony. There’s just so much he wants to do with you and well, he doesn’t really want to deal with the whims of other people. He’ll relent a bit and wear a proper tux for you... though don’t expect to be wearing your own wedding outfit for long once he sees you in it.
Everyone is well-aware of what Melone wants to do with you and have been privy to his unending affections for you more than once, so they’re more than happy to scatter once the ceremony is over, leaving a very happy Melone carrying you bridal-style to the limo waiting outside. 
Thank god for partitions, because Melone can’t even wait until the car takes off to get his head between your legs. He’s incredibly in love with you and he wants to show it the way he knows best — physical affection and sex. 
There’s a lot of touching and kissing and fucking all night until the two of you are worn out, and that’s when Melone gets mushy. He reads you a private set of vows he wrote while he strokes your hair. Despite everything, Melone is quite the romantic and enjoys the cooldown of the day’s activities almost as much as the day itself. Almost.
Ghiaccio will not behave if you have a big wedding. There are just too many things that could go wrong — it’s not that he doesn’t want one, but he knows he won’t be able to control himself if something happens. Instead, the two of you opt for a very private ceremony and a more public reception, inviting only a few friends along with Ghia’s teammates. The ceremony is officiated by Risotto with Melone acting as a witness, and Ghiaccio refuses to let the men hear his vows. He has no inside voice, so they hear anyways and pretend not to.
Though he struggles with saying it out loud, he thinks you look perfect in your wedding outfit. He’s convinced that someone from above was looking out for him when they sent you, although god forbid Ghiaccio ever say that out loud.
He relaxes at the reception when things don’t have to be so mushy, but he does get rather smug and rub it in everyone’s faces that he’s married now. You can only smile and laugh, running your hands through his curls and watching him blush. It’s a perfect night.
Ghiaccio slows down that night, making sure to worship every inch of your body in a show of how thankful he is that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with him. There’s nothing in this world he wants more than to protect you, and getting married is his way of showing that he means it. 
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abri-chan · 4 years
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Minor but I love the seating positions David Pro went with when La Squadra was in church (Sorbet & Gelato funeral)
Ghiaccio & Melone are in the same row, and so are Prosciutto & Pesci, indicating each duo are probably in good terms with each other, even friends. 
Formaggio and Illuso are on separate rows, and we see Illuso take jabs at Formaggio for his stand being weak later. 
Risotto sits at the front by himself, because he’s the leader (he has to have some distance both emotionally and physically from his men) and as we see later, he’s also the last one standing. 
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headoverjojo · 4 years
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oh jeez I guess like a half of my message just "king crimson-ed"... but nevermind, about a request! again, I'd like to request for Ghiaccio's s/o's birthday celebration with him. she's calmer than Ghiaccio but in general they're really similar in temperament (still s/o is really sweet and cares for him deeply). sorry if this is too messy, I'm requesting something for a first time only... I hope I've included everything needed. and yeah, my timezone is UTC+4:00! thank you very much! 💙
Hi darliiiinggg!! I’M IN TIME yeeeessss!! And so, darling, HAPPY BIRTHDAAAYYYYYY!! Here’s the birthday scenario! I hope you’ll like it :3
Ghiaccio’s s/o’s birthday celebration with him
(Under the cut for length!)
Ghiaccio wasn’t good at doing a lot of things. He wasn’t good at cooking; he wasn’t good at interacting with people. He wasn’t good at doing romantic gestures or to show how much he loved and appreciated you. But, this time, he wanted to overcome his own issues and to put you above everything else, above also his own safe zone. So, a couple of weeks before the great day, he found himself trying to plan a memorable birthday party for you. He wanted something fancy, but not too fancy; something not too big, but also not too small. Which cake was the perfect one? And should he buy balloons? Garlands? And what else too? Drinks? He didn’t know…
The truth was that he didn’t know where to start because he never had a birthday party.
And, after four unsuccessful days, he had to eat his pride and to ask help. The one he trusted more about organization was Prosciutto; surely, he would have helped him better than anyone else…
And he was right. With Prosciutto’s help, Ghiaccio managed to finally sort his ideas and to choose the cake, the location and what to do… finally, he relaxed. He felt lighter and satisfied. He really wanted to do something special for you; you deserved it. You deserved so much, more than what you thought and more than what he could give you, he thought. He knew he was, often, insufferable, that his anger bursts often displeased you… but you were still here, Despite everything, you were still here and he felt the need to show you, for once, how important your presence was and how he truly appreciated you.
You had noticed his mood swings. And you were also worried! What was bothering him so much? Maybe a mission? Something he didn’t tell you? Seeing him so distressed pained you...but now he was calm again, as much as Ghiaccio could be calm, even happy! About what, however, you didn’t know.
You were used to not even mention your birthday. It was a day like any other, all in all, except for the fact that you could congratulate yourself for surviving another year. But, this time, the day seemed different from the usual, starting from the moment you opened your eyes, welcomed by the sweet aroma of brioches and caffelatte. You frowned a little, perplexed: breakfast in bed? What…?
“Good morning, Y/N.” your heart missed a beat when you felt Ghiaccio’s lips on your cheek, in an unusual sweet gesture. Usually, to wake you up from your deep slumber, he opened wide the blinds to let the light inundate the room! But not today. Today, your bedroom was softly lightened by a gentle natural light, and you felt enveloped by his warmth and that sweet scent…
“Hm, ‘morning…” you turned a little, sleepily smiling at him and gently passing a hand through his unruly azure curls. He didn’t retract nor grumble, as he usually did, but he let you do as you wished, even leaning in to give you another kiss, before sitting up and bringing nearer the tray filled with sweet treats. You slowly sat up as well, relaxed, taking the brioche he was offering you. Your favourite…
“What’s the occasion?” you asked, before taking a bite of your brioche. Ghiaccio shrugged, not offended. He knew you didn’t mean to offend and, also, it was probable that you had sincerely forgotten what day it was.
“This year I wanted to do something more than just give you a pat on the back for your birthday.” as he had guessed, you had forgotten about it, as your surprised expression suggested. He then grew worried when he saw your eyes filling with tears; oh shit, did he do something wrong?! What…
He wheezed when you hugged him tightly, knocking the air off his lungs. You drowned him in kisses, taking advantage of your birthday rights and his good mood, giggling when he complained without actually retracting. What a drama king!
“This is the best present ever! Thank you…” you kissed him again, sweetly, and, when you broke the kiss, you noticed that his cheeks were red as cherries. He cleared his throat, handing you your favourite mug filled with caffelatte and fixing his glasses. You couldn’t help but to smile: he was so cute…
“C’mon, drink. We have things to do.” he grumbled, pouting, making your interest spike. What kind of things?
“What have you organized?” you asked, curious, sipping your caffelatte. Ghiaccio glanced at you and those adorable, curious eyes that always made him give in, but this time he didn’t do it. It had to be a surprise!
“Finish your breakfast and you’ll find out.” you pouted, at his answer, and stuck your tongue at him, before gulping down the little drink left in the mug. So much mystery!
“C’mon, where are we going?” you asked again, now all dressed up. Ghiaccio finished to fix his big, red scarf around his neck, before answering.
“Basically, to do whatever you wanted to always do and you did alone. But this time, well… together.” he admitted, feeling a little silly. It wasn’t such a great gift… but your eyes were already shining. THis was more than a great gift…
It was a dream becoming reality.
“Ok… I have an idea.” you declared, with a big and happy smile, taking his hand and marching out of your shared flat.
That was one of the most tiring, exhausting and longest days in Ghiaccio’s life. And one of the happiest.
There were so many things you had always wanted to do with him but that, unluckily, you always did alone. You went to an art exposition, to do window shopping, you had lunch in a small, pretty restaurant, you stopped at an early Christmas street market and warmed yourselves with hot chocolate and roasted chestnuts while walking around. The air was cold and there was even a light, iced breeze that bit the little exposed skin, but Ghiaccio didn’t feel cold. How could he, when you were shining like the sun? When your happiness was so big that it seemed to physically emanate warmth?
You didn’t even noticed how much time was passed until a nearby church’s bells rang seven times. Wow, you had been out all day! Ghiaccio was surprised: he usually grew bored or annoyed after a couple of hours, when it was cold, but not today… he had had sincere fun. Maybe… no, for sure, he had enjoyed it all so much because he was with you. You had the ability to make everything seem better.
“Ghia?” he snapped out his reflections, when he heard your voice. You were sitting on a bench and in front of you there was an ice skating rink full of people of every age: quiet and slow middle aged people who calmly skated while talking to each other, teens who skated holding hands, with lovestruck eyes, kids who were laughing and chasing each other… it was all beautiful. It was all perfect.
“Thank you for today. I mean it… thank you. It was the most beautiful day since long, long time.” his heart melt when he heard your quiet, sincere words. He had done something right…
He had made you happy.
“Don’t even say.” he simply replied, but you could tell, by how his voice was vibrating, that he was happy. You didn’t need anything else: a wonderful day spent with the most precious person in your life, and he was happy too…
This was really the best birthday ever.
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reginadaita · 3 years
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La squadra meme headcanons
Memes/Vines I associate the hitmen with:
(Let me know what you associate them with! XD)
Risotto
- Roadwork ahead
- This is the dollar store how good can it be?
- I am just extremely happy, can't you tell by my face?
- O K
Prosciutto
- Two bros chillin in a hotthub
- You better stop!
- I could have dropped my croissant!
Ghiaccio
-WTF is up Kyle?!
- You don't know MEEEE!!
- We all die, what you gon do?
Bonus:
- WTF Richard? 
- That's my OPINION!!!!!!!
Melone
- Freshavocado
- Accept yourself, love yourself
- That's what good kitty sounds like
Formaggio
- Walk awaaayayayay
- Go away! *music starts playing
- I love you bish, I ain't never gonna stop loving you bish!
- YEET!
Illuso
- They were roommates
- Is there anything better than kitty
- But I woke up EverydaaaaUUUAAAYY
- D I S G U S T I N G
Pesci
- titanic flute song
- Hi my name is Deren/Derek?
- I want a church girl that's reads her bible
- I am your freestyle dance teacher
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ela88-blog1 · 7 years
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Love You
Ricordo il giorno esatto in cui ci siamo conosciuti, la situazione non era delle migliori, io non ti ho considerato per quasi tutta la sera dato che mi frequentavo con un altro ragazzo da qualche mese. Ricordo che ero arrabbiatissima perché volevo andare a ballare invece che uscire con un'altra coppia, e avevo avuto una brutta discussione con un amica… insomma volevo fare una serata completamente diversa da quella che si prospettava. Quando mi arrabbio io faccio tutta l’altezzosa e tu adori dirmi che sembra che abbia un palo nel fondoschiena , ma sono punti di vista. Tu eri l’amico di un mio amico che quel sabato sera estivo non sapeva cosa fare. Inizialmente non sapevo neanche che fossi con noi, ero troppo sulle mie per notarti. La destinazione della serata fu una festa celtica e per tutto il viaggio se aprivo bocca era per fare la rompiballe di turno. Mi sono accorta di te solo dopo la mezzanotte, durante l’accensione del fuoco sacro, fino a quel momento non sapevo neanche il tuo nome, forse nemmeno che tu fossi di fianco a me. E’ stato il tuo amico a farmi voltare la testolina verso di te perché ti ha chiamato Jon, esattamente come il personaggio di un libro che avevo letto recentemente. Ho notato subito quanto eri alto perché girandomi ho avuto la tua spalla all’altezza degli occhi, ma poi ho alzato lo sguardo e il tuo viso sembrava quello di un angioletto cattivo e i tuoi occhi così scuri che mi ci volevo perdere, da li non ho capito più niente. Il mio primo pensiero è stato “e tu dove cavolo ti eri nascosto?!” e subito dopo mi sono detta “figurati se sto qua mi degna di uno sguardo, sono troppo vecchia per lui”. All’epoca io avevo 30 anni e tu 25, tu eri ai miei occhi il ragazzino che non avresti guardato neanche di striscio una come me, invece ci siamo trovati a parlare tutto il resto del tempo davanti al fuoco, per lo più di serie tv e di cibo. Abbiamo scoperto che abiti esattamente due vie dopo l’ufficio dove lavoro e vai nei negozi li a fianco. Ci siamo fatti qualche risata e non ci siamo accorti che da mezzanotte erano diventate le 5 del mattino ed eravamo sotto casa mia. Mi hai salutato con un bacio sulla guancia e rivolgendoti al tizio che era con me gli hai detto “non fartela scappare”, ma probabilmente già sentivi che ero persa di te oppure mi consideravi persa e basta.
Ma le cose belle non sempre arrivano subito. Quella notte stessa ho mandato al diavolo il tipo con cui ero e poi ti sono venuta a cercare su face book per farmi un po’ gli affari tuoi, ma senza dirti niente. Ho visto che eri single, che cercavi quella giusta da un post leggermente datato. Non si riusciva a capire che posti frequentassi per organizzare un incontro casuale, ma nel tuo profilo c’erano un sacco di foto con le tue ex, quelle non potevano mancare! Ho passato una domenica intera a capire chi fossi, facendomi non sai quanti viaggi.
Passato un mese di te non sapevo più niente, non ci eravamo più visti o sentiti e onestamente mi ero messa il cuore in pace, ricordandomi solo di una serata che da disastrosa era passata a particolarmente piacevole.
Una sera di fine estate io e due amiche andiamo a ballare per un evento di un dj che ci piace molto con l’idea di fare un uscita senza uomini che creano problemi, ma verso metà serata vedo che ci sei anche tu. Fingo di non vederti ma poco dopo sento una mano sulla spalla, mi volto e noto subito il tuo bellissimo sorriso. Mi offri da bere almeno due volte e ci facciamo un rum e pera insieme durante la nottata. La serata in discoteca continua alla grande, facciamo gruppo tutti insieme e sembra di essere tornati alle “vecchie compagnie” di una volta. Il dj inizia a mettere su i pezzi più belli de momento e sulle note di “feel so close” di Calvin Harris ci baciamo. Il mondo in quel momento sono sicura che si è fermato, esistevamo solo noi. Mi hai abbracciato quasi sollevandomi, ed è stato il bacio più intenso della mia vita. Ti offri di accompagnarmi a casa e rimaniamo a parlare in macchina nel parcheggio ore e ore, baciandoci ripetutamente.
La domenica la passo cercando di riprendermi con il sorriso stampato in faccia anche se pensavo fosse stato solo una bellissima serata da ricordare per sempre e nulla di più. “La solita sbandata estiva” pensavo e mi ritenevo abbastanza sicura nel sapere che con me tu non volessi averci a che fare. Non c’eravamo neanche scambiati i numeri e il mio orgoglio non mi faceva fare la prima mossa di scriverti, volevo dimenticarti e allo stesso tempo ricordarti. Inoltre non volevo andare sui tuoi profili social e scoprire che magari ti vedevi con altre ragazze. Non ero pronta ad affrontare questo e mi piaceva rimanere con il sorriso sulle labbra.
Pochi giorni dopo svegliandomi ho trovato la notifica su face book della tua richiesta d’amicizia e un messaggio privato dove mi chiedevi di vederci per un aperitivo  finito il lavoro dicendo che volevi scusarti di essere sparito qualche sera prima. Da quell’aperitivo stiamo insieme e le nostre vite si sono fondate. Ci sono state Parigi, Dublino, Vienna, Amsterdam, Roma …  abbiamo visitato ogni borghetto medioevale, castelli e musei che ci venivano in mente. I giri al parco, in bicicletta e al mare. Ogni scusa è stata buona per scoprire il mondo insieme. Le sere invernali passate sotto le coperte a coccolarci, le pizze e le piadine mangiate sul divano mentre ci raccontiamo qualsiasi cosa ci passa per la testa. I cinema insieme con i pop-corn e i peluche che vinci per me dalle macchinette prima che iniziasse il film. Ascoltare in silenzio il temporale e abbracciarci sempre di più ad ogni tuono guardando il cielo fuori dalla finestra.  
Sono convinta che tu sei quello giusto perché solo tu sai come rendermi felice in ogni occasione, sai tirarmi su il morale e ascoltarmi quando dico delle cavolate, anche se poi me lo rinfacci che quello che dico non ha senso e che tu saresti quello “piccolo” della coppia. Mi prendi sempre in giro per questi 5 anni di differenza che abbiamo. E poi sei dannatamente bello, l’uomo più bello che conosco. Non so come dirlo ma da ieri sono la donna più felice del mondo ed è solo grazie a te. Hai organizzato il viaggio a New York per queste vacanze di Natale, sapevi che era una vita che volevo andarci e così hai esaudito il mio desiderio. Siamo andati sul Top Of The Rock e vedere dall’alto la città di sera con tutte le sue luci, sulla pista di pattinaggio sul ghiaccio del Rockefeller Center, abbiamo dato da mangiare agli scoiattolini di Central Park, le mezz’ore con la cartina della metro in mano per capire dove andare (e per fortuna che ci sei tu), la visita da Tiffany che mi sembrava di essere Audrey Hepburn, la bellezza del National History Museum, Time Square e tanti altri posti che al momento mi sfuggono ma so che non potrò mai più dimenticare …
Siamo sotto le coperte, in hotel, e ci stiamo perdendo negli occhi dell’altro, pieni d’amore nonostante gli anni che passano e tu rimani sempre il mio bellissimo moro. Oggi abbiamo visitato la S’Patrick Church, Public Library, Grand Central Station e visto il tramonto più bello che si abbatteva sullo skyline di New York mentre facevamo la passeggiata sul ponte di Brooklyn. Le foto, l’amore negli occhi sia per noi che per quello che stiamo vedendo, un amore che si nota, che fa invidia a tanti, un amore che non ha limiti. Arrivati in hotel abbiamo fatto l’amore ed è sempre come se fosse la prima volta.  
Mi alzo dal letto e mi metto la tua camicia perché è la prima cosa che ho trovato e mi vado a fare una cioccolata calda da sorseggiare davanti alla splendida vista che abbiamo dalla stanza dell’hotel: l’Empire State Building, con i suoi colori rosso e verde. Mi vieni a fianco e appoggio la testa sul tuo petto e tu dolcemente mi accarezzi i capelli. Non so quanto tempo passiamo così ma con un gesto imprevedibile mi metti davanti al naso una scatolina azzurra, palesemente di Tiffany, la apro e dentro c’è l’anello più fine e bello che possa mai aver visto, d’oro bianco con 3 diamanti piccolissimi che esplodono di luce. Prendi il piccolo anellino e quasi commosso mi chiedi di sposarti mettendolo al mio anulare e io ti dico che non ci sia niente di più meraviglioso che essere eternamente tua il prima possibile. In fondo l’indomani partiamo per Las Vegas prima di tornare a casa e io ho bisogno solo di te.
Durante quel periodo Natalizio non avremo mai potuto pensare che dopo 8 anni ci saremmo davvero trasferiti nella Grande Mela, mai avremo pensato di tornarci davvero. Il tuo lavoro ti ha portato a gestire la nuova sede aziendale a New York, abbiamo un appartamento Brooklyn e il mio lavoro posso gestirlo da casa, in qualsiasi parte del mondo, l’importate è avere il Wi-Fi. Qui dove tu mi hai chiesto di essere mia moglie, dove abbiamo ufficializzato la nostra vita insieme, mi sembra di vivere un sogno.
Ma sappiamo che tutto questo è solo un pezzettino della nostra vita insieme e ci saranno tanti alti e bassi da affrontare, ma se ci sei tu ci sono anche io e viceversa, e insieme nessun ostacolo sarà insuperabile, perché la nostra forza e il nostro amore sono la chiave di una vita meravigliosa.
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self-shipyard · 3 years
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"I Will (Pt. 3): The Arrival" - A Self-Ship Wedding Fic
SYNOPSIS: The third part of a four-part fic in which everyone gathers in the chapel and prepares for the big moment.
Word Count: 1813
CW: Pre-Wedding Fluff, Mild In-Character Swearing, Anxiety
Tag List: : @guthound, @danieladimitrescu, @puppyships, @ava-ships, @awesomedanganronpaconfessions, @sinners-call-me-baby, @reigenhusband, @that-autistic-team-skull-grunt, @noellojello, @somethingscarlet13, @spookymasonjar, @vanityloves, @valor-selfships
PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4
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The little church rested against the grassy Tuscania countryside. It was a rustic little building, made of old bricks and holding a wooden crucifix over the roof. Its staircase had a white satin stair runner over top and the sides were adorned with wildflowers and lit candles, despite the sun being high in the blue sky. There was even an arch of greenery which framed the church’s big wooden door.
It set the theme for a beautiful August wedding.
Lumaca could just barely see it from the car window and through her veil. The sight of it made her heart race. She might’ve even fainted, had not a hand reached over to touch her shoulder and to bring her back down.
Her eyes darted from the window to Sorbet.
“Are you okay?” Sorbet asked.
“Yeah, are you?” Gelato piped up from his place next to Sorbet, his hand reaching around to pat her lap. “You’re looking a little pale. Do you need anything?”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Lumaca softly replied. “It’s just my nerves...”
“Hey,” Formaggio said from the passenger’s seat. “If it makes you feel any better, just thought I’d let you know that I attended a bee wedding about a week ago.”
“Oh, is that so?” Gelato responded for her.
“Yup!” he continued. “It was nice to know that he found his honey.”
Formaggio and Gelato both laughed at the corny joke and Lumaca simply smiled, taking joy from their laughter. However, Prosciutto, who had been driving for the past fifteen minutes with a bouquet of white roses in his lap, couldn’t do likewise.
“Come on,” he muttered. “That was bad.”
“Hey now,” Formaggio defended himself. “Those two are digging it. Besides, when you got charms like mine, you don’t have to be that good with the words. It’s all about how you deliver it, you know?”
“Hey, look!” Gelato suddenly piped up with his finger pointed towards the window. “There’s Pesci. How long has the boy been waiting out there for?”
“I hope not for long,” Lumaca commented, a pang of guilt in her voice.
“Ah don’t worry about him, my dear.” Gelato patted her lap. “He’s always been so patient.”
After parking the car near the side of the chapel, where other vehicles sat in the afternoon sun, Prosciutto took hold of the bouquet and went to help Lumaca out of the car. Everyone else was quick to follow the pair, with Sorbet and Gelato close behind and Formaggio at the end of the little procession.
Pesci looked up from his seat on the stairs and his eyes lit up the minute he saw them approaching him. He jumped up and rushed to meet them, leaving his basket on the step. Lumaca would’ve met him halfway, if not for the fact that her arm was linked to Prosciutto’s. So instead, she reached her free hand out to grab hold of his.
“Lumaca!” he beamed, holding her hand in both of his. “I knew you’d be here on time! I was starting to get a little worried.”
“Pesci, you mammone,” Prosciutto grunted before Lumaca could say anything. “You shouldn’t have been worried. I wouldn’t have let her miss her own wedding day, would I?”
“Ah.” Pesci looked down. “Sorry, aniki.”
Lumaca watched as Pesci’s nerves dimmed his excitement. Feeling sorry for him, she shook his hands to grab his attention.
“It’s okay, Pesci!” she assured him. “I appreciate how much you care.”
He gave her a soft smile as some of the light returned to his face.
“Thank you Lumaca... You look really beautiful, by the way. You’re going to make everyone’s jaw drop.”
“You think so?” she blushed.
“I know so!” His grip on her hand went a little tighter. “Especially Ghiaccio’s jaw. Oh, he’s going to be so happy to see you!”
“Well, I hope he doesn’t mind seeing a couple extra pretty faces come down the aisle first,” Formaggio piped up with a grin, already walking ahead of the group to the chapel doors. “At any rate, we better go take our places, right Gelato?”
“Right behind you,” Gelato replied, practically skipping along behind him.
The chapel was as small on the inside as it was on the outside. It was lit by the afternoon sunlight pouring in through the windows, giving everything a gentle glow to it. Much like the staircase, the sides of the mahogany pews that faced the altar had also been decorated with wildflowers.
Attendees sitting in the pews consisted of a small crowd of people, including other members of their team and some friends of the bride. All of their voices resonated throughout the room, mingling softly with conversations from amongst themselves and even from the groomsmen.
The groom, however, was silent.
Ghiaccio had taken to thinking of Lumaca as a way to keep himself distracted from the nerves that drenched his forehead in sweat.
Memories flooded his head, giving his chest a warm, tingling feeling. He remembered everything, from the day they met and their first mission to their first date and their first kiss. The day they decided to move in together and those happy little moments between then and the evening he proposed.
That look in her eyes as she agreed to give him her hand in marriage… So sweet…
Thump!
Ghiaccio was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of the wooden doors opening. His head jolted up and his eyes went wide behind his glasses. The room fell silent and everyone turned their heads to look at the big wooden doors.
The bridesmen walked in.
Formaggio strolled down between the pews, a serious look clouding his eyes as he focused on the task at hand. Gelato followed behind, regarding everyone he passed with the same curiosity of a cat. They quietly took their places at the bride’s side of the altar, approximately in the same sort of placement the groomsmen had taken.
Ghiaccio’s hand went up to feel his heart rate. It went down, but not by much.
“Fuck…” he muttered to himself whilst pushing his glasses closer to his face
“Ghiaccio,” a voice whispered behind him.
He turned around to see Melone, who had just reached out with his free hand to give him a pat on the back. His other hand held a small pillow, upon which rested a small, silver ring with a sapphire embedded into it.
Lumaca’s ring.
“Remember, we’re here to make sure everything’s alright,” he continued. “Try to relax, okay?”
Ghiaccio gave a quiet hum in response before turning back to resume his thoughts. Only, he found it was getting harder to concentrate, as the thought of her walking in and down the aisle towards him clouded his mind.
That thought made him gently whimper to himself.
“You have what I need?” Sorbet asked, his eyes focusing on Pesci and his hands carefully adjusting Lumaca’s veil.
“Oh, of course! Hang on a second,” Pesci assured as he made his way back to the chapel’s staircase.
He took hold of his basket and gently fished his hands through the rose petals. As soon as he felt the two items that Sorbet needed graze his fingertips, his face lit up. Carefully, he pulled out a small pillow and an even smaller sack from the pile of petals.
“You didn’t have anything else to carry those things in?” Prosciutto inquired as he made adjustments to the bride’s bouquet in his hands.
Pesci met his furrowed look with a sheepish grin.
He stood straight up and walked back to the three remaining members of the bride team, bringing the pillow and the sack with him.
“Not really, no,” he gulped. “I uhm… Had to make do with what I had.”
Sorbet held out his hand and Pesci placed the pillow overtop before prying open the sack with his fingers. Within a few seconds, he had a silver ring with a small ruby embedded into it placed on top of the pillow.
Ghiaccio’s ring.
“Hmm,” Prosciutto sighed. “I suppose you didn’t have much of a choice then. I’m proud of you for making do with that you had… All I ask is that you be careful of the petals next time. We don’t need them to be crushed.”
“Okay, aniki; I’ll remember that!” Pesci smiled, too polite to tell him that Melone had already said something similar.
“Thank you so much, Pesci,” Lumaca muttered happily, the sight of the piece of silver and the thought of it on her husband-to-be’s left hand making her giddy. “In fact, thank you guys for your help.”
“We appreciate the thought,” Sorbet told her. “But don’t thank us just yet. Save it for the reception.”
Just then, the pastor poked his head out from between the doors and called for Sorbet to come inside. After giving him a nod and watching him slip back inside, he strutted towards the big wooden doors with the pillow balanced in his palm. He glanced towards Lumaca and gave her a nod that she gladly returned. With that, he pushed the doors open with his free hand and made his way inside.
As soon as the doors closed with a low thump!, Pesci looked towards Prosciutto.
“Aniki,” he asked. “Am I supposed to follow behind him with the flower petals right now?”
“Give him a couple of minutes first,” Prosciutto instructed him. “You’re going to be ahead of us by about a minute so you can scatter the petals around, then you’ll take your place on the groom’s side of the altar.”
“Okay, I can do that…” Pesci hummed as a thought crossed his mind. “You sure do know a lot about being a flower boy, huh?”
“I had to be one for our mother’s wedding,” Prosciutto admitted. “This was before you were born, of course, but I remember it well.”
“It must’ve been lovely,” Lumaca smiled warmly.
Prosciutto smiled back at her.
“It was,” he started to reminisce. “It had been the happiest I had seen her in a long time. A type of joy I can see all around you, in fact.”
She blushed quietly.
“Ah, it’s… It’s that noticeable?”
“It is.” Prosciutto agreed. “And it’s a good sign. It means that this is the start of a long, happy marriage.”
She bit her lip, trying her best not to start sobbing right then and there.
“Thank you…”
The brothers wrapped their arms around her in a group hug. She immediately had her arms around them as well.
“You two will go far,” Prosciutto whispered. “I know you will.”
After spending a long, quiet moment in the embrace, the trio pulled themselves away from each other and Pesci made his way towards the chapel stairs.
He took hold of the handle of his basket.
“I’ll see you both soon!” Pesci beamed at the pair before disappearing behind the doors.
(to be continued at 2:00 PM EST)
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marble-writes · 4 years
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Priest scenario: Risotto is in the middle of mass preaching about the Lord when all of a sudden Melone comes running into the church crying, completely covered in tomato sauce. Apparently he and Ghiaccio were trying to heat up some spaghetti and stupidly put an unopened can of tomato sauce in the microwave and the thing exploded. Risotto sniffs the air and smells smoke, then Ghiaccio comes running into the church, also covered in tomato sauce, and screams, “THE MICROWAVE’S ON FUCKING FIRE!”
Never leave your kids unsupervised!
“WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, YOUNG MAN!” Some old man yells from the benches at Ghiaccio.
Ghiaccio screams back. “THE MICROWAVE IS ON FIRE I CAN SAY THE FUCK WORD—”
The smoke alarm goes off and the churchgoers naturally start shuffling out. There’s a lovely map hanging on the wall on the path to take in case of a fire and it’s just like, “Walk out the front doors in case of fire.”
As Risotto assists an elderly woman out the doors, he can hear the chaos in the kitchen. Illuso is barking with the smoke alarm. Formaggio is yelling. Prosciutto is screaming. Pesci is crying in his arms. Melone is still crying.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Formaggio is attempting to bend the fire away. His palms glow as he uses his demonic powers to try containing the microwave fire.
“Aaand GOT IT!” The spaghetti fire swirls away from the microwave leaving nothing but charred tomato sauce and pasta. It concentrates above Formaggio’s hand into a tight ball, glowing hot.
“...Ok, now what? Put it out!” Prosciutto bitches, bouncing Pesci in his arms.
“Uuuh I can’t put out fires that I didn’t make.” Formaggio explains, sheepishly.
“ARE YOU SERIOUS!? SO YOU CAN CONTROL HELLFIRE BUT NOT PUT OUT REGULAR FIRE!?”
“How do you think I d... WAIT!” Formaggio sprints away to the living room and yeets the fire ball into the fireplace. It bursts alive before settling down into a gently crackling ember. “I SOLVED THE PROBLEM!”
Prosciutto sighs in relief. Pesci stops crying and just sits in Prosciutto’s arms. Meanwhile, Ghiaccio guiltily peeks into the kitchen as Melone runs over to him and cries.
Before Prosciutto opens his mouth, Melone bursts, “We’re sorry!!! We wanted spaghetti but you were too busy feeding Pesci!!!”
“You two just ate lunch an hour ago!” The fallen angel groans.
“We REALLY wanted spaghetti!” Ghiaccio retorts with an attitude despite his earlier guilt. Prosciutto rolls his eyes.
Formaggio comes back into the kitchen. “Sooo all of the humans are sitting in the garden and listening to Mr. Sinful Goth Priest preach about God or whatever.”
“Well that’s nice,” Prosciutto comments, “Anyway... we need to clean up— WHAT THE HELL.”
Illuso is standing against the counter and licking up the burnt tomato sauce. The eyes on his back look at Prosciutto for a brief moment before continuing to eat the charred sauce.
“Hey! At least it’s being cleaned!” Formaggio smiles. Prosciutto rubs his temple. He’s so tired.
Afterwards, Ghiaccio and Melone always, ALWAYS asked an adult to help them cook after learning about the horrors of exploding tomato sauce in a can. Risotto also accepted donations from the churchgoers to pay for a new microwave.
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marble-writes · 4 years
Note
A scenario in the priest au where ghiaccio and melone decide to run away from home?
Run Away Angels!!!!
Well this is a predicament. Prosciutto rereads the note he found in the garden written in some very sloppy and barley legible penmanship. It reads as such:
Dear Prosciutto,
We’re sick and tired of your gross vegetables, your stupid bedtimes, and your disgusting face smooching with Risotto. We’re both running away from home amd there’s nothing you can do about it!
Signed Melone and Ghiaccio
Of all the stupid things Prosciutto was expecting to find in his garden this was not one of them. The demon can’t help but laugh at the note because of how poorly its written and how the two angels signed their names in glitter gel pens.
“Hey Illuso!” Prosciuttos calls out.
The shadows around the garden shift and gather next Prosciutto, emerging from them is a Hound covered in a hundred eyes, “Yeah, what do you want?”
Prosciutto holds out the letter for Illuso to read, “My two stupidly adorable children have run away from home. Do you think you can find them and bring them back before dinner?”
Illuso sniffs the letter a few times inhaling the angels scents, “Oh yeah. This’ll be easy.” And the Demon Hound shifts into shadows, running off to find the two rambunctious angels.
————————————————————
“Ghiaccio I’m hungry!” Melone whines as he swings on the swings.
“THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EATEN ALL THE SNACKS THAT WE PACKED!” Ghiaccio screeches as he swings next to Melone.
They’re at the park, they honestly didn’t know where else to go so here they are swinging on the swings. “Its not my fault that you didn’t pack enough food Ghiaccio!” Melone snaps back.
“YEAH WELL IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT YOU’RE SUCH A PIG!”
Melone gasps offended, “Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“ARE TOO!”
“AM NOT!”
“Ehem.”
The two angels cease their bickering and turn to see a hell hound staring at them.
“Oh hi Illuso.” Melone says with a wave.
“Sup brats. You’re dad told me to come and bring you home.” Illuso says as he scratches behind his ear.
“Hell no we ran away for a reason! Theres no way we’re going back!” Ghiaccio says to the hellhound and Melone nods his head in agreement.
“Oh okay.” Illuso says as he trots away back to the church, “Thats a shame though because Prosciutto said he was going to make some eggplant parmasian tonight.”
The two angels stop their swinging and immediately start to drool. They love Prosciutto’s eggplant parmasian.
“And after dinner Prosciutto said he was going to make a Devils food cake for Risotto since its his favorite,” Illuso says as his tail wags, “Sure is a shame that you won’t be there to have some.”
The chains of the swings clang together as the angels scramble to get off of them. “Illuso wait! We like cake!” They say in unison.
Illuso laughs as he hears the angels run to catch up with him. God it is so easy to negotiate with children.
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