neutral, chap. 7 (dream smp x reader)
series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, and gives him a peek inside how you can have so many differing relationships with such different people.
chapter summary tommy feels guilty after prying too deep into the darker side of the war, causing you to isolate yourself for a few days. but after awaking from another nightmare, he finds you in the kitchen and finally manages to learn the dark truth of what you endured in the war for your being.
warnings swearing, mentions of war, death, murder, and suicide, heavy angst, nightmares
prologue | chap. 1 | chap. 2 | chap. 3 | chap. 4 | chap. 5 | chap. 6 | chap. 7
gif cred belongs to @halcyoncraft
tommy ate lunch and dinner alone that night; he fixed himself something simple before going back to practice his aim by himself, and when he finally was so unbelievably frustrated with himself, he went inside to find a fresh plate of meat waiting for him on the counter. he frowned to himself as he sat alone.
he couldn’t help but feel incredibly guilty. he had obviously struck a chord within y/n, something deep-rooted within his simple knowledge of the war that was far more complex than he had anticipated. he had been picking at his plate of food for a few minutes before ghostbur wandered into the kitchen.
“hey, tommy,” the ghost greeted with a grin. he furrowed his brow when tommy didn’t even spare him a glance. “everything alright?”
tommy shook his head, finally shoveling a fork full of mashed potatoes into his mouth. “where have you been?”
“around,” ghostbur shrugged in response, taking a seat by tommy. “why the long face?”
tommy sighed, pausing the movement of his fork. “i know you don’t remember much from the war, but.. do you remember y/n.. killing anyone?”
ghostbur blinked in surprise before seeing the serious look in tommy’s eyes. he began to consider. “im not sure.. i don’t think i remember that. did she tell you that she..?”
tommy sighed again, placing his forehead in his cool hand and closing his eyes. “i don’t know. i think so. we were finally talking about the war, and i asked, and..” he shook his head. “it obviously didn’t stir up a pleasant memory for her.”
“i imagine the war as a whole wasn’t pleasant for her,” ghostbur sympathized. “being thrown around like a possession? can’t imagine that’s pleasant.”
tommy almost laughed. how ironic. “yeah..” he propped his head up again, looking up at his ghastly friend. “i hate not knowing a lot about the war, but learning about it is just as awful.” ghostbur offered a sympathetic nod. “this place has always been violent, huh?”
“oh, yeah,” ghostbur scoffed with a laugh. “have you seen the people around here? they’re so angry and horny, it’s unbelievable!” tommy let out a loud laugh. ghostbur smiled. “i will say.. you should talk to y/n. whether it’s just to apologize about delving too deep, or actually learn what happened, nothing’s going to get better if you don’t talk.”
tommy nodded. “you’re right.”
“‘course i am.”
the blonde rolled his eyes at his friend before looking back to his barely touched place of food. “care to tell me where you’ve been now?”
wilbur sighed. “only because you’ve been unsparingly honest with me, you annoying prick.” tommy let out another laugh as he shook his head. “i.. get a weird feeling around technoblade. i don’t know if it’s fear or whatever, but i don’t like being around him. i went to the nether to scout out some materials and waited for him to leave.”
tommy pursed his lips. for a moment, he considered telling ghostbur about his past mistakes. about the role he had in the war, and how he was sure that technoblade had not been his friend at that time. but he refrained, for the sake of not knowing what forces he might have been interfering with.
“tommy,” y/n laughed. “come with me!”
tommy looked up from the grass he had been focused on to see y/n standing and grinning, a beautiful sundress flowing around her figure as the warm summer breeze swept through the field they were in.
tommy smiled. “alright, coming!” she continued to laugh as the two ran further into the field. the clouds were darker on that side, thunder rolling loud enough that they could hear it from their happy place. tommy stopped his jog, allowing y/n to run ahead and into the more forceful wind that awaited her on that side. then lightning came down, and in that flash, many things changed.
y/n was in an outfit more familiar to him; a pair of worn jeans and a self-cut tank top that showcased her strong arm as she pulled back the string of a loaded bow. and in the field of chaos, the storm swirled around a masked dream and an alive wilbur, both poised at each other for battle.
“it’s not worth it!” y/n practically screamed over the now deafening sound of wind and thunder. “im not worth it!” they either ignored her or couldn’t hear her over the roaring noise; something told tommy it was the former. he tried to move as the two men ran at each other, but found himself rooted in place. y/n let out a sob before releasing the arrow into the clash of weaponry. one of the two fell to the ground, but tommy couldn’t tell which before he jolted awake.
he sat up slowly in his bed, placing his head in his hands again as he processed the horror his mind had conjured. the sight of y/n sobbing as she released a strong arrow into the fight seared itself into his mind.. and he hated himself for the image.
“what an awful thing,” tommy muttered to himself, finding his mouth incredibly dry. peeling the woolen blanket off of his body, he quietly made his way toward the kitchen in the dead silence of late night in y/n’s home.
but he was once again was met with her sitting in the kitchen in the dark. it had been nearly two days of tommy only catching glimpses of her, and she looked exhausted. her hands covered her mouth as she took deep breaths, eyes closed as she basked in the silence of the house. tommy frowned deeply at the sight, his own eyes closing for a moment before turning to head back upstairs.
“tommy.” her voice was almost surprised, and when he looked over to her, she looked it, too. “are you alright?”
“yeah,” he managed to get out, though his voice was dry and tired. he somehow found comfort in the way that even though he had found her crying in the kitchen, she still managed to worry for him first. it felt so incredibly y/n-like to him. “just, uh.. nightmare.”
she nodded in understanding. “me too.” he pursed his lips, ready to turn again if the silence between them lingered too long. quieter, she spoke, “wanna talk about it?”
he looked up at her and considered. “about the nightmare? or the..” he looked into her tired eyes and stopped himself. “other thing.” she shrugged. after considering, he silently took a seat at the table.
she raised her clasped hands back to her mouth, her gaze focused on the table as tommy broke the silence, “what was your nightmare?”
she sighed into her fist before shrugging. “just flashbacks, i guess. yours?”
tommy ran a hand through his fluffy hair as his mind flooded once again with images of the gathering storm, of y/n sobbing with her bow, and wilbur and dream charging at each other with fury in their actions. instead of all of that, he offered, “you were in a dress at one point.”
she let out a laugh and tommy felt the looming uneasiness in his chest lessen. “that was the nightmare?”
“no!” he laughed quickly. “no, there was much more to it than that! but that’s how it started.”
“so just, like, bad vibes right away?” she joked, shaking her head at him.
“exactly, yeah,” he agreed teasingly, gaining another giggle from her. with the quiet atmosphere slightly lightened despite the following silence, y/n gained the courage to reach a hand toward him. tommy took it, looking into her serious eyes.
“im sorry,” she said gently. “i.. encouraged you to ask me about the war, but i guess i wasn’t ready to face some parts of it. you shouldn’t have had to deal with me locking myself away for something i had opened myself up to.”
“no, y/n, it’s my fault,” tommy spoke.
“i pushed you,” the boy reminded. “i didn’t shut my mouth when i should’ve, and i crossed a line. im sorry.”
she squeezed his hand reassuringly. “it’s alright. i forgive you.”
tommy nodded, still seriously gazing into her emotion-filled eyes. “i forgive you, too.” she gave him a watery smile, leaning back for a moment to wipe at her eyes.
“god, please tell me why you’re nearly the youngest around and yet this is the most mature conversation i’ve ever had?” she spoke with a laugh.
“i couldn’t tell you,” tommy scoffed with wide eyes, making her laugh again. “probably because most of these bastards didn’t have a totally mature person taking care of them for a time.” she shrugged with a considering look. “you can’t seriously look at me and tell me schlatt had a positive influence in his life.”
“oh, god,” y/n laughed out, drawing her hand away from tommy’s to cover her loud giggles.
“have you met the guy?” tommy questioned. she nodded as her laughter dissipated. “only once or twice before i..” she trailed off, looking to the window of the kitchen with a grimace on her face.
“before what?” tommy questioned immediately, leaning closer to her and making her giggle as he grinned. “what did you do to him?!”
she sighed out, “so.. he stopped by a couple times for repairs, but he got a little..” she gave tommy a look. “handsy with me, and..” she smiled again at tommy’s excited look, holding back a laugh as she continued, “i almost cut off his hand.”
“what?!” tommy exclaimed excitedly. “you- what!!” he let out an obnoxious laugh. “y/n, that’s awesome!”
“im not proud of it,” y/n clarified, holding her hands out. “but, like, i wasn’t gonna tolerate that. so the next time you see the ghost of schlatt, try to ask him to see his left wrist, ‘cause he’s got a nice scar where i nicked him.”
“you’re so badass,” tommy complimented genuinely, still beaming with energy. “god, no wonder you had three men after you.”
she let out a breathy laugh at that. “yeah.. not my favorite memory.”
tommy immediately ceased his laughter, his mind suddenly flickering back to the tense atmosphere and solemnity of the past two days. “im sorry. im sorry, i-”
“it’s fine,” she assured, taking his hand again. “i promise, it’s alright.” he looked down to their now locked hands, taking a breath in preparation for her words. he wasn’t even sure what she was going to say; he just knew he wasn’t going to be ready for it. “tommy, i planned on being completely honest with you, and i still do. it took me a few days to remember that, but the second i saw ghostbur telling you about the war, i told myself there were going to be no secrets. because there aren’t any.”
tommy slightly cringed. “you saw that?”
she squeezed his hand. “i keep an eye on the ghoul. he meant a lot to me when he was alive.” tommy nodded in understanding as y/n took a breath. “but.. yes, i did kill someone in the war.” he felt his heart become heavy for a moment with dread, but he wasn’t sure why. maybe it was because she wasn’t done talking..
y/n continued, talking slowly and as calmly as she could, “it was what ended the war. at that point..” he felt her hand start to shake and squeezed it as she had done to his. she gave him a brief smile as her other hand rose to her lips. “wilbur had kidnapped me and-and basically put me on house arrest.” tommy’s heart dropped again. “it wouldn’t have been so awful if he hadn’t just locked me up and left me, but..” her voice cracked, “that’s what he did.”
“im sorry, y/n,” tommy whispered.
she nodded, squeezing his hand briefly. “at the time of the war, i tried to keep to my normal travelling. seeing friends, making new ones.. one time while i was out, dream caught me and took me back to his base with him. i left after a couple of days, but..” she shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “wilbur was so mad.
“he locked me down and only visited once a day. i think his plan was to lure technoblade and dream to where i was and then kill them and claim victory,” y/n sighed. her gaze met tommy’s pitying eyes. “you can understand why that upset me.”
he nodded immediately, assuring, “yeah. i know wilbur’s my brother, and my friend, but even i can admit that he went off the rails sometimes. and there’s usually no way to stop it before it gets bad and he does something crazy like that.” she nodded again. “i don’t blame you for killing him.”
the room seemed dead silent as she took a shaky breath. “that’s the thing, tommy. i-i didn’t kill wilbur.” he gave her a confused look as the tears began to roll down her face. then his heart stopped.
y/n took another shaky breath as tommy surged forward to bring her into a tight hug. she let out a pent up sob into the taller boy’s shoulder.
“i didn’t have any other choice,” she spoke hoarsely, her voice barely above a whisper as she clutched onto tommy’s pajama shirt. “he-he hadn’t taken away my trident, s-so..” she let out another sob.
“it’s okay,” tommy assured, pulling her closer to his thin frame. “you don’t have to explain yourself to me; i understand, i..” he felt his own throat constrict as his mind swarmed with distant memories. “i almost gave up too. before i found you.”
“im glad you didn’t,” y/n sniffed before pulling away from tommy’s embrace, resting her hands on his shoulders. he moved his hands to grip lightly at her forearms. her voice shook as she attempted to speak strongly, “im glad you’re stronger than me.”
tommy shrugged, though her words did help to lighten his heavy chest. “i wouldn’t say that.”
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