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#giant chicken au

Giant Chicken, walking down the street: “~Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a chicken man. Buk buk bagok.~” *looks through a window and sees a group of young huntsmen*

Weiss: “Don’t you think you’re a bit old to be ordering off the kid’s menu?”

Jaune: “I’m a grown man, and if I want nuggets, I’m getting some nuggets! It’s essential in an Arc’s diet.”

Weiss: “Whatever.”

Chicken: *smushes his face into the window with an angry look*

Jaune: *looks up to see him* “Oh boy, here I go fighting again!”

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Papa Arc, on the phone: “Okay Son you did well in that fight, but don’t let your guard down. The chicken will be back.”

Jaune: “Dad I know we’ve been fighting for a long time, but we can’t just keep spreading that legend about how they just never die.”

Papa Arc: “You’ll see what I mean soon enough. I’m so proud of you, keep your head on a swivel. The rest of the family sends their love too.”

Jaune, rolling his eyes: “Alright thanks dad, love you too.”

A chess piece blares in red all over the world

???: “This was not an accident…”

Port: “Cut off the cameras!”

RWBY: “What the hell’s going on!?”

???: “Our kingdoms are at the brink of war… but we, the citizens, are left in the dar-”

-buk, buk, buk-

Jaune: *eyes widening* “What the…”

???: “Hey, who the hell are, wait! I recognize you!”

Sounds of a short struggle can be heard over the announcement, leaving everyone deeply confused.

???: “ARC!”

Jaune: “Oh, come on!”

Nora, who with rest of the team decided to watch the matches with Jaune even though he wasn’t allowed back at the arena: “No way. Is that who I think it is?”

???: “I know you’re listening you son of a bitch!” *video kicks on, showing the crazed and still-healing visage of a pissed off giant chicken* “This broad here can try to end the world all she likes, but I will STILL keep coming! Watch yourself Arc, the giant chickens will end you all!”

The video turns off, and somewhere, Salem is looking down and rubbing her forehead. Everyone else who knows Jaune looks directly at him.

Jaune: *shakes his head* “Dad was right. They’re always right…”

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Jaune: “Wow, I didn’t think the Atlas general would show. You saw the match then?”

Ironwood: “Do you not understand the political significance of the Vytal Festival? Not to mention the fact it was broadcasted all across the world even disregarding that?”

Jaune: “The more people who see it, the better! Everyone’s gotta know the Arcs won’t back down from the giant chickens. Besides, he started it.”

Ironwood: “How?”

Jaune: “He showed up.”

Ironwood: *pinches his brow* “And your pride is more important than the Vytal Festival going smoothly? Answer that wrong, and you will not be attending those stands again.”

Jaune: “If I didn’t do anything, the whole world would have seen an Arc stepping down from a fight with a giant chicken. Our pride and reputation is our livelihood! So yes, it’s more important to me.”

Ironwood: *leaves through a door*

Winter: “Sir?”

Ironwood: “I only have more questions. I have to let Ozpin know I would recommend he does not let Mr. Arc back in the arena.”

Adam, after reviewing the match: “Gods, it’s already started. But at least the chicken wasn’t wearing White Fang gear, and it took place away from us… we were lucky this time that the chaos does not harm us now, but this is a dangerous game.”

Emerald back in the dorms after the match: “Okay, what the fuck was that?”

Neo: *shrugs*

Mercury: “Haaahaha! Oh, I dunno but it was great. Made my day. Anyways, fights probably break out all the time in the stands. Nothing to worry about.”

Cinder: “And that attitude, is why you are not in charge. What it was, was an outlier that I did not expect. And I hate surprises. Let’s make sure we work on finding out more about this boy. By we, I of course mean you.”

Emerald: *sigh* “Fine.”

Saphron, calling up Papa Arc: “Dad! Did you see what happened with Jaune!?”

Papa Arc: “I sure did sweet heart. *sniffle* I’ve never been so proud…”

Saphron: “I know right!? It was awesome!

Terra: “You all are nuts.”

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The 2v2 battle between Nora/Pyrrha and Neptune/Sun was about to get underway, the two groups staring each other down.

Sun: “What’s taking so long for them to say go? Let’s get this show on the road!”

Oobleck: “Everyone please! Clear the area, but there’s no need to panic!”

Ren: “Everyone get away from them! They’re crazy!”

Nora: “Huh?”

Jaune was smashed through the protective barrier that separated the arena from the onlookers and fell with a big THUD on the ground.

Neptune: “Hey no fair! What’s your leader doing here?”

Pyrrha: “Jaune?” *starts running up to him* “What happened!?”

Jaune: “GET BACK! The giant chicken’s here!”

Keep reading

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Ozpin sits cross-legged in a comfy chair, face blocked out by the shadows and holds a hot, comforting cup of cocoa.

Ozpin: “The giant chickens… yes, I know of them. You know, many think Mountain Glenn was simply overrun by Grimm.”

Ozpin has Nam flashbacks involving collapsing buildings, screaming people and ominous clucking.

Ozpin: … “That is merely the official story.”

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Last night the giant chicken witnessed team JNPR win a match at the Vytal Festival. But he didn’t care for the results, he cared to find a familiar golden Arc symbol. And that he did.

Chicken Wife: “Do you really have to go?”

Giant Chicken: “You saw the TV. We found him. I have to go.”

Chicken Wife: “Baby.”

Giant Chicken: *looks her in the eye*

Chicken Wife:Give him hell.

Say what you will, Chicken Wife supports her man.

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Jaune has gotten permission from his family and has brought teams RWBY and _NPR to one of his family’s secret vaults.

Yang: “Holy crap!”

Jaune, beaming with pride: “Indeed.”

Ren, looking around: “This place is incredible. It’s like a small history museum.”

Ruby, drooling: “Look at all the weapons!”

Jaune: “I knew you’d like it here Ruby, look around all you want.”

Nora: “Hey Jauney, what’s this?”

The group stands in front of a plaque, situated in front of a painting depicting a blonde boy in a green cap, in the middle of an epic fight.

Jaune, stern: “The legend of one of our oldest, ongoing rivalries.”

Blake: “That’s neat and everything, but why is he fighting a chicken?”

Jaune: “Link Arc once attacked a chicken repeatedly, thinking something good would come out of it. But it wasn’t any ordinary chicken, and a swarm of giant chickens came and started trying to kill him! It became one of the greatest battles he had ever been a part of, even after saving his old village from great evil.”

Pyrrha: “Are you pulling our legs Jaune?”

Jaune: “Things escalated from there. Destructive fist-fights broke out, blood was shed, and the Arcs and giant chickens have hated each other ever since, even after hundreds of years. They’re always watching.” *narrows eyes while he looks around* “Waiting.”

Blake: “Giant chickens.”

Jaune: “Yeah.”

Weiss: “Wait, but according to this, Link attacked first. He started it! That whole rivalry is his fault.”

Jaune: “Supposedly he was also a maniac that busted into people’s houses, broke all their pottery and robbed them blind right in front of them.”

RWBYNPR:

Jaune: “… Okay maybe he was kind of a dick. But in his defense, he was just a little kid at the time, and the giant chickens totally overreacted!”

Ren: “I’m sure none of this exposition will lead to anything in the near future.”

Ruby: “But-”

Jaune: “Yeah! C’mon guys, there’s plenty more to see around here than this silly old thing.”

Pyrrha, thinking: The man I want to spend the rest of my life with has a stupid blood feud with giant chickens… *eyes harden* “I’ll tear them apart.”

Weiss: “Did you say something Pyrrha?”

Pyrrha, smiling sweetly: “Oh, nothing.”

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