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lakesparkles · 3 days

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I finished the first chapter of my Gideon and Ramona fanfiction :D

I'll post it somewhere else someday, but so far I can share it here.

(reminder that this is NOT a ship fic. I just want to explore their relationship and project on Ramona tbh)

Ramona and Gideon - I

She decides to leave one last time

Ramona remembers the seven reasons that made her fall in love with Gideon

—

She had that same fantasy every day. As she walked down the halls, running her fingers along the wall, she imagined herself entering her own room. It was satisfying, somehow. She could perfectly see herself opening her wardrobe, taking out the few things that really interested her, putting everything in her bag and simply walking away.

In that fantasy, of course, she always smiled. She even laughed. That kind of hysterical and cathartic laughter only present in films. She wanted to imagine how Gideon would react: how long would it be before he realized she wasn't there anymore? Two weeks? And when would he realize that this wasn't just another one of her "famous tantrums"? Two months? Two years?

Part of her was almost excited at the prospect of making him furious with such an accomplishment. It would be his turn to take endless turns through the halls, finally using his brain trying to understand what had gone so wrong between them. Maybe he would find out years later. Or perhaps that doubt would eat away at him for decades to come, the bitterness of her image never leaving his mind.

And part of her... thought that wasn't realistic. She knew Gideon well enough to know that he would never even consider any mistake on his part, with a mixture of confusion that never ended well when it came to him.

Or worse.

He wouldn't even care about her lack of presence in that house.

Therefore, Ramona released her fingers from the wall, slowing down her steps until she stopped altogether.

Then the fantasy ended. Every single time.

☆

7 MONTHS BEFORE

"Ramona Flowers," he repeated once again, with his head bowed. At that point, she figured he just wanted to test how the name sounded on his own vocal cords. "Ramona...Flowers."

"Did you like it, huh?" Ramona took a sip of her own drink, even though she already considered herself drunk enough. Maybe he was too, now that she thought about it.

"Sounds a little familiar."

"Strange," she shrugged, not caring. "And you are?"

Now he raised his head once more, looking her in the eyes. Ramona found it strange the way he raised one of his eyebrows, as if he had just heard a terrible insult.

"Did I say something wrong?" Alcohol always made her put all her thoughts out, without thinking much. She slowly realized that it hadn't been a good idea to start talking to that guy in a situation like that.

He laughed, however:

"You are intriguing, Ramona. And my name is Gideon Graves, to answer your question!"

He - Gideon? Weird name - had said such a thing with so much pride that she began to suspect there was something she wasn't understanding. She became even more certain of that once she noticed his gaze still fixed on her face, waiting for a response - perhaps an acknowledgment. Strange, huh.

To escape her own discomfort, she looked ahead, watching as everyone calmly walked around the party room. It was an average place, so there were too many people everywhere: one of the reasons she felt so uncomfortable. Parties stopped interesting her when she left college. Now she had no idea what to do there other than walk around with her glass of wine. And walk more. And pretend to be interested in the topic that another weird guy in a suit, who held her arm, was talking about. And walk.

"What brought a girl like you here?" Gideon cut the awkward silence, catching Ramona's attention again.

What was he implying with that? That she looked poor? Messed up? Or was it her hair?

"I was challenged for 20 dollars that I wouldn't be able to crash this party."

"Seriously," he laughed lightly, now being his turn to sip his glass. "What was the reason?"

"It's a looooong story."

"Don't tell me!"

"You wouldn't have that much time to listen to me."

"It seems that you don't know me very well" he implied, good-naturedly.

Ramona turned her head to the side until realize Gideon kept his eyes fixated on her face. He always had a blank expression, difficult to read. She took the opportunity to analyze him more closely, trying to decide if he was ugly or not. His dark hair was longer on one side, in a kind of fringe that must've been popular about 10 years ago. What caught the most attention, clearly, were his thick glasses that he occasionally used his index finger to place back on the bridge of his nose. However, she also couldn't help but notice his white coat, much more informal than she expected for an occasion like that.

Normally, Ramona was good - great even! - knowing a lot about someone just by her first impression and how the other person acted. But that guy? He was different, he just seemed like a weirdo who apparently was interested in her.

She had watched him for a few minutes before he approached. Gideon was talking calmly to a large group of people, making no effort to become the center of attention. He had something in him, that was for sure. A kind of confidence mixed with how unusual the way he gestured with his hands was.

She was so caught up in her own mental notes that she didn't even notice Gideon's next move until it had already happened. Still with a smile stuck on his face, he held her arm tightly, pulling her away from the wall and making her follow him.

"What the hell, dude!?" Ramona practically screamed, looking around in confusion.

"Let's get out of this stupid party, I can't take it anymore!"

Indifferently, Ramona let herself be guided wherever the other wanted. She didn't care anymore. About that party and about everything else. Not when everything had already gone catastrophically wrong. She was too drunk to think about that anyway.

The two of them sneaked among all those people, occasionally apologizing for stepping on someone's foot. When they paused for Gideon to exchange their glasses for two full ones, Ramona realized that she was having more fun in that moment than in any other second since she entered that tight space.

This time, she didn't even need Gideon's grip to willingly follow in his footsteps, laughing along with him every time they had to take a giant turn just because there were so many people.

"I know a place~" Gideon hummed when they arrived in one of the corners of the room. Without making much effort, he lightly opened one of the large doors, waiting for her to pass before closing it behind them"

They came face to face with a long circular staircase - not the most pleasant sight at the moment. She felt sick just looking up:

"Can we be here?"

"Yeah, Jonah doesn't care! Do you know Jonah? The owner of this buiding."

"Obviously not, man!"

"He's a friend of mine... For a long time. Anyway, keep following me!"

And so Ramona did, having the next minutes extremely complicated. She almost tripped on some steps, needing to lean on the handrail as if her life depended on it. Gideon himself didn't seem so good either, his feet unsteady even as he continued to take large gulps of wine. Anyone who looked at them at that moment would think they were idiots, and that thought amused Ramona.

Fortunately, the stairs ended after some time - how much had they gone up? Four floors? - Gideon opened another door, smiling at her as he waited for a reaction.

"Wow," she murmured, somewhat ironically, looking up. Until that moment, she hadn't even realized that they'd gone to the roof of that building. The sky above them was almost completely dark, the stars being overshadowed by all the other lights coming from the buildings.

"Much better than down there, don't you think?" Gideon boasted of himself, taking slow steps to the edge of the slab, leaning there to better observe the entire view.

"Funny. For the way you got along with everyone, I thought you were enjoying it."

"Not even close to that. The good thing about Jonah's parties is that you soon know everyone there, at least by sight. The bad part is that it gets repetitive after the third party."

"I'm already thinking it the first time. Who is Jonah?"

"Huh, he's..." Then he interrupted himself. "You're really not from here."

"What do you think?" Ramona went to his side, resting her glass on the slab and exhaling through her mouth in a kind of 'pfff'. "Do I happen to look like the type of person who comes to New York with a completely fanciful idea coming from $1,99 novels, only to find out that it's not all that and that she's not even good enough to be a pizza delivery girl?

"From the way you're saying it, I believe so."

"That is not what happened!!" She got angry, being grumpy again.

"Alright."

With a sigh, she leaned her body weight - up to her chin - on the wall:

"I'm not here to stay" finally something sincere came out of her mouth. "I just need some money to get to Vermont."

"It's far away, y'know?" Gideon spoke very quietly, his gaze fixed on the sky. She could've sworn he looked a little disappointed, which interested her. "Is there anything you need to do there?"

'No, I just want to know how it is. Just like here."

"And what are your thoughts about New York so far?"

"Overestimated."

"I knew you'd say that!" He shook his head, pretending to be irritated. "And something also told me that you were exactly the type of person who liked to hang around."

"The thing you said about my eyes, right?"

"They're beautiful."

"Did you know that your flirting gets worse every time you drink more?"

Gideon let out a sudden laugh. If he was offended, he didn't show it. At most, he finished all the remaining liquid in the glass in one gulp, teasing her.

"And why are you right here, in the party?" He continued.

"Is this an interrogation?"

"I'm just curious about someone as fascinating as you!"

"Silly," she rolled her eyes, not falling for that. "It was because of a friend. No, not a friend. A guy I met."

"A boyfriend?"

"What? No! It's the guy from the coffee shop across the street, I think he knows Jonah or something. His name is Jay, we talk when I go there. Do you know? That coffee shop over there, look!" She pointed with her index finger to the dark spot on the street below.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Anyways! Jay ended up becoming my roommate. It's in a tiny studio apartment, but he can pay for it with his cafeteria salary and I can with the money I saved from Pennsylvania."

"Mhmm!"

"Shitty, I know! But I'm getting out of here. Soon."

"Are you sure you don't have any plans?"

This time, Ramona was silent, watching the cars pass by below. That part not even alcohol would let go so soon.

"And you, Gideon? Are you from here?"

"Me? I'm not. I came from North Bay.'

"Serious? You don't look Canadian."

"What does looking Canadian mean to you?"

"Someone who isn't you."

"Did you know that you make less and less sense the more you drink?" He countered, raising both eyebrows.

She ignored him, then he spoke again a few seconds later:

"Do you see that building over there? The one near the red sign."

Ramona followed with her gaze where he was pointing:

"Man Media?" She read with her eyes almost closed, barely seeing.

"G-Man Media! G! The triangle is a G!"

"Ah, now I see it."

"So, I live there!"

"Live?"

"It's my company building, actually. But I arranged one of the floors to be my apartment."

"Company?"

She was still looking closely there, almost getting scared when she felt Gideon's hand on her shoulder.

"Ramona, are you okay? Of course you're not!"

She responded with a nod, cursing herself for making it so apparent that she had drunk more than she was used to. What a great first impression. She tried to stand and turn to him, to prove a point, but she remembered little after that.

It was as if her mind had stopped working from one moment to the next. I mean, she was conscious as best she could. Wasn’t she?

The problem was remembering that the next day.

She lifted her head for the expected pain, her mouth dry as a desert upon waking up. Even though she couldn't see very well, she realized she was in a bed. How? She barely had time to despair before she looked everywhere, analyzing the light coming through the window and realizing she was alone in an unfamiliar place. It wasn't her apartment with Jay, that was for sure. That room alone should've been bigger than the entire place.

The last thing she remembered from the last night was being in a car. Gideon spoke to her, a little impatiently. He asked where she lived, she thinks.

Well, there was no sign of Gideon at that moment, which made her feel a little calmer. She also seemed fine, if she ignored her hangover.

It'd just been... Weird.

It took her about half an hour, rooting and snooping in every corner of the room, until she noticed the most obvious thing of all: the sheet of paper and the envelope on top of the cabinet.

She sat at the foot of the bed, reading what was written there:

"Dear Ramona Flowers,

The room´s already been paid for overnight, don't need to worry! If you want to see me again, you know where to find me. If not, I wish you the best of luck in Vermont!

-GGG"

Half curious, half laughing at the stupid name, she opened the envelope to find enough money for five trips.

☆

She didn't know why her brain reminded her of that specific moment. Ramona raised the corner of her mouth, coming back to reality and running her fingers along the walls of the hallway towards her room.

Now the fantasy was completely over. Instead, she imagined a fictional life in Vermont, accompanied by someone poorer and less complicated. It looked good, if she ignored the lack of detail because she had obviously never set foot there.

God, what an idiot she was!

Even without having a specific direction, she continued walking there. It’s what she does when she is so bored in such a big building. It was even funny. She'd lived there for months, but she was pretty sure she'd never explored all the rooms and floors.

She was near her room when someone suddenly came out of one of the open doors, colliding painfully into her.

"Ow. Sorry" she automatically apologized, expecting to be one of the tower's employees.

"Ramona," the other person's voice said. In that typical and curious way.

"Gideon," she said back, her head down. "I thought you were working all day today?"

"Nope, only in the morning" he finished straightening his suit that had crumpled during the impact. "I was looking for you, actually."

Ramona raised her head, certainly not anticipating this turn of the conversation. So much so that she was speechless for a second, giving Gideon the chance to continue:

"Do you want to go out for lunch? You can choose the place this time."

His tone... It seemed normal. Different from usual, which made her suspicious:

"I prefer to stay at home today, my head hurts. I was going to my room," and then she started to feel guilty. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Only if it's Sherlock Holmes!"

"Nothing like that! You said I choose and it will be The Butterfly Effect!"

Gideon smiled as he nodded, putting his arm around her neck - that had to be uncomfortable, considering how many inches taller she was than him -, and walking beside her to her room.

Then they spent the next few minutes together, without anything too special. Besides, of course, being in each other's presence in general. It seemed like the longer their relationship lasted, the less they saw each other. And that only made her feel strange about the current situation. It seemed so normal that something had to be out of place.

The film played in front of the two, who lay on her big bed. Gideon had a straight body, with his legs crossed and his arms the same way. Ramona kind of touched him and kind of didn't. Gideon seemed interested in the film, laughing and making occasional comments. Ramona pretended to pay attention when answering him.

What was so wrong? There had to be something wrong.

Then Gideon stretched a little, changing position to turn around and wrap his arms around her body. His familiar shape made her dizzy for a moment. This hadn't happened for a long time. Without thinking too much to avoid regret, she snuggled into his hold, feeling warm and... Fine. Almost.

The memory was almost automatic. Her brain refocused on that same day, months ago:

What she hadn't told Gideon when they met was how incredibly lost she was feeling because of her own stupidity. After graduating, she decided to leave everything behind, as she realized that she didn't belong there. She might not have any idea where that place would be, but she could certainly look! She took whatever temporary job she could get; she boarded planes and even trusted strangers for rides; she spent months, weeks and days in completely different cities. Searching.

New York before Gideon had been more of the same. Her days were made up of looking at those giant buildings while wondering which point in that immense city was the right one.

Apparently, it was exactly in that room, feeling Gideon's comforting warmth. He looked so relaxed that she couldn't help but laugh at the funny face he made as he tried not to fall asleep. The energy bar above his head said otherwise, being practically zero. Ramona... She was almost fine too. Her eyes took longer to blink each time.

So why did she still feel exactly the same as the time she spent wandering around New York? She was beginning to think that she was incapable of settling down and being content.

An instant before she fell completely asleep, something clicked in her mind. Her eyes suddenly widened.

She finally realized what was so wrong there.

It was about the day she met Gideon. She was absolutely sure that, until now, she remembered perfectly how everything happened when they got down from that slab. Before now, she remembered taking a taxi with him and all the conversations they had inside. And how he took her to a random hotel for the night, saying goodbye briefly by leaving her in the room and writing something while she went, in her drunken state, to bed.

But now... It was as if her mind had gone blank.

#my writing #ramona flowers #gideon graves #scott pilgrim #ramona and gideon au #if you read it i would love to know what you think :D

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