Hold onto your butts, and find out how Niki and James wound up with twelve kids...
Bruno: Dad. Where do we all come from?
Niki and James: *Confused looks *
James: What do you mean Bruno?
Bruno: Well, Niki already explained to us where babys come from. But he said you nead a man and a woman for that. And you are both men, so... *gears in brain scraping *
Niki and James exchange a knowing look.
James: Well, you see Bruno, we all got you guys from somewhere. You for example were found by uncle Jackie.
Everybody perking up.
Bruno excited: Really?!
James nods: Uh hu. But you know, uncle Jackie and uncle Francois weren't sure if they were quite ready to have a child so they decided to give you to old Niki and I. After all, we already had Nigel and Elio.
Nelson mumbling to Gilles: That doesn't sound fake at all.
Gilles: *hisses for Nelson to be quiet *
Gilles: Wait, and where did uncle Jackie find Bruno?
James cryptically: He never told us.
Gilles: And me? Where did you get me?
James easy going: Oh you, we found you in the dumpster.
Didier starts laughing and Gilles looks horrified.
James chuckles: Yeah, and Didier liked you so much that he talked us into keeping you. He called you his 'trash brother'.
Didier laughs: I don't even remember that, but I'm okay with that.
Gilles glaring: And where'd you get that hyena from *nods at Didier *
James: Oh, some auction. Niki wanted a plane but, you see, Didier was much cheeper.
Gilles starts laughing and now Didier looks horrified. He looks over at Niki for some support but Niki just shruggs.
Niki: He was quite cheep.
By now, everybody is laughing or snickering and really interested in the story.
Andrea: And me?! Where'd you get me.
James: Well, you see--
Niki butting in: We were at the zoo one day.
James: *stares *
Niki: And at the erm... sea lion exhibit with Jacques and Elio, and there was this lone kid there as well. Just sitting in a stroller, with a paper clip pinned to it that read, 'take if you want'.
Andrea stares in shock, and James has to fight to suppres his laughter.
Jacques: And I? What about me?!
Niki: You know those storage auctions.
James catching on: Yeah, when you rent a garage or something to store your stuff in. If you stop paying the rent, at some point they're just gonna auction the garage and all the stuff in it.
Jacques nods slowly.
Niki: Well, we went to one of those auctions for a weekend and *shrugs * you were in the unit that we got.
Jacques: *stares with big eyes *
Alain thoughtfull: I don't know... That doesn't really sound right.
James catching on quickly: Don't tell me you don't remember how we got you Alain.
Alain shakes his head and quietly stares at James.
James pretending to be shocked: You don't remember how you just dropped out of the trees when we were hiking in the woods?
Niki nods: I don't know for how long you've been living there all by yourself. But we really managed to integrate you nicely.
René: Wait, Alain was a wild child? Like Mogli?
René, almost afraid to ask: And me?
Niki: Well, we went to the bakery one day.
James: And you were there too, all by your lonesome, staring at the cakes with eyes all big and teary. We couldn't not pick you up.
Gilles, totally enraptured at this point: And Nelson? *pointing at Nelson *
Niki snorts: Nelson? He was just there all of a sudden.
Gilles and Nelson simultaniously: Huh?
Niki: I was grocery shopping one day, with Alain and Elio, and when I got back into the car he sat in the passenger seat. Just said, 'you're my new family now' and crossed his arms all pouty.
Gilles snickers: You were pouting.
Nelson: No I was not! *pouts *
Patrick excited: Me. Me. What about me?
Niki: There was this carnival one day.
James: That all the kids really wanted to go to.
Nelson rolling his eyes: And let me guess, you won Patrick at one of the stands. Can knockdown maybe.
James frowns: No, Nigel won.
Niki: And it wasn't can knockdown but duck fishing.
Elio excited: And Nigel and I? What about us.
James: Oh you two are adopted *waves him off *
Everybody laughs, except for Elio and Nigel. Elio looking quite hurt.
James hurries: We adopted you from a witch.
Elio excited: Really?
Niki: Well Nigel. You we adopted from a fairy.
Elio: *heart eyes *
Riccardo meekly: And what about me?
James: Well... *rubbing his chin *
Niki: Erm... *scratching his forehead *
Gilles: Hey, do you guys remember those storys you told us, about how you got us all. Just so you didn't have to tell us that we're all adopted?
Niki over the newspaper: I don't know what you mean trash baby...
Gilles: *stares, contemplating his life *
Elio: You know, you never told us where you got Ayrton from though.
Niki and James exchange a look.
Niki and James: Well, there was this shooting star one night...
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Niki: So it was James' birthday yesterday and we had a little bit of a party.
Niki: *long suffering sigh *
Niki: René was upset that it wasn't his birthday and that the cake wasn't for him.
Niki: He got even more upset when Nigel started eating James' cake.
Niki: Nelson and Gilles started messing around with the whipped cream, and when Didier tried to stop them Nelson held him down while Gilles force feed him whipped cream.
Niki: And while I stopped Didier from choking to death on whipped cream, Andrea somehow got a hold of James' beer, and after one sip of it put a bucket onto his head and ran full tilt into the tv set.
Niki: Alain and Ayrton started fighting about who's present was the better one.
Niki: Which also upset Bruno.
Niki: So the three of them were just yelling at each other.
Niki: Jacques and Patrick's present involved an airhorn, loads of confetti and some fire crackers.
Niki: Long story short, James almost had a heart attack.
Niki: Then Elio started playing the piano, which was really sweet.
Niki: *sighs *
Niki: Until Ayrton started yelling that his present was better and he and Elio started having a screaming match.
Niki: Thankfully Riccardo's present came in handy there.
*clip of Niki splashing the kids with a super soaker, while James laughs his ass off before asking if he can have a turn too. *
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