#give me attention I've had a real shitty two weeks and i need it

[arsonforcharlie]

some days you're getting dressed and you look in the mirror and go "but bert, what if everyone at the convenience store DOESN'T realize you're the gayest uncle in there, wouldn't that suck for them" and then you change into something dumber

#me irl #selfie #selfie culture #reblog my selfie #give me compliments #reblog my selfies #selfies #trans #transmasc #genderqueer #nonbinary #saturday shorts #jorts #look how hot and gay i am #give me attention I've had a real shitty two weeks and i need it

[queentheweeb]

Hanta Sero X Shy American Female Reader

A/N: You replace Mineta

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"Breathe L/N-chan you have nothing to fear." You were trying to give yourself a pep talk in your just freshly moved-in dorm room. Everything happened so fast that you really didn't have a chance to reflect on all the blessings that have been handed to you. Your parents were struggling in America, you guys were originally from Canada but moved to America when you were just two years old and now that you are 15 the three of you moved to Japan. The reason? Your father got a job offering 3 times the amount he was making in America and he took it. Plus you got accepted to Japan's most prestigious hero academy. You were sad that you were leaving your friends but, you had a video call and can always pen pal with them. In the span of 2 weeks, you took that 12-hour flight jet lag kicking your ass, and when you landed you guys were taken to your apartment. It was huge! It was half the price back in America but you guys had a big backyard with a pond that had turtles, koi fish, and some snails. You guys had a finished basement and an attic/crawl space. The culture shock and difference were all so much to handle. Once again you thanked GOD that both your parents were fluent in several languages and taught you how to speak 3 fluently which were English, Japanese and Spanish. "I'm thinking too much again, come on girl" You slapped your cheeks a few times grabbing your bag and ensuring that you have everything you needed. It's only been 2 days since you moved in since you got here when it's been a few weeks of classes already. You were caught up on everything that happened courtesy of all the U.A teachers aka Pro heroes. They weren't lying when they said that only active or retired pro's worked there and that the principal was a talking animal. Your head was spinning by the time all of that was over and you didn't have time to digest it! You had to make up as much work as possible while adjusting to constantly speaking Japanese, learning how to use transportation and vending machines, and other culture shocks. It was a mess but, at least your parents were struggling with you.

"Watch where you're going extra!" You jumped looking to see who in the hell is that loud and rude to a total stranger. You looked behind you and saw a very pissed-off blonde with red eyes scowling extremely hard at you. "AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING FOR GETTING IN YOUR WAY!" He let off little explosions in his hand. Ah! He has the same quirk as you! Choosing to ignore the fact that this guy was crazy and could have easily walked around you with all the available space you showed him your quirk. You put both your hands up showing your explosions to him. Bad idea. "SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME HUH SHITTY EXTRA! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF WE HAVE THE SAME QUIRK I'M STILL GOING TO BE ON TOP!" You gave him such an incredulous look confused beyond comprehension. How the hell did he come up with all of that when you didn't even say a word??

"You're already picking a fight Bakubro." You jumped at the unexpected voices both of you turning around to see who it was. It was a group, a girl with pink skin and horns, a redhead, a yellow-haired one, and another one with a triangle smile. The red one hardened his face and arm when Bakubro? swung at him.

"SHE'S THE ONE THAT GOT IN MY WAY SHITTY HAIR" Is he incapable of calling people by their real names.

"With all this space? You just chose to walk behind her to see who she was hee hee" The pink-haired girl started laughing while dancing around to avoid him.

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE RACCOON EYES" First Shitty hair and now raccoon eyes? What was next?

"Anyway, I've never seen you around here, are you from one of the other classes?" The yellow-haired one was in your personal space making you red and stutter from the sudden attention.

"U-uh, my name is Y/N L/N I'm a transfer student and got accepted to U.A through recommendation. I am from America and I went to the number one hero school there." You don't know why you told random students that but okay.

"OOOO you're from America? How many languages do you speak?" You held up three fingers which earned you gasps while the ash Blondie was still seething.

"I'm sorry while my friends are talking a mile a minute." You were surprised to see the black-haired triangle-smile guy shove away the yellow-haired one and stand a foot from you "Allow me to introduce ourselves. I'm Hanta Sero, the pink one is Mina Ashido, the electric is Denki Kaminari the one holding up the angry chihuahua-"

"I'LL KILL YOU." You couldn't help but giggle as the red-headed one was struggling to hold him back.

"He's Ejirou Kirishima and the loudest one is-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL HER MY NAME." The unholy screeching that was coming out of his mouth made you wince. Did he just not give a fuck about his vocal cords?

"-Katsuki Bakugo" You nodded your head in understanding now. That's why they called him Bakubro.

"YOU FLAT FACED MOTHER FUCKER" He broke out of Kirishima's hold and started chasing the two of you. You have no idea why you were running with Sero but, it felt right considering he was pissed and looked ready to attack anyone.

"By the way what class are you in?" You both were running and not the slightest out of breath.

"I'm in Class 1-A" You looked at him and saw he had a really big smile on his face.

"That's the best news I've heard all day! We all are in Class-1A!" You beamed at him finally making it into the building and turning your sprint into a brisk walk with the others very close behind.

"I can't wait to get to know you all." You saw the door down the hall and it was still open meaning class didn't start yet

"I can't wait to get to know you." Sero gave you a thumbs-up with a wink making you giggle. You can already tell this is going to be an interesting year.

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A lot of potential for a part 2

#anime #fanfic #manga #bnha #mha #fanfiction #quotev #quirks #fluff #x reader #american reader #shy reader #x shy reader #female reader #x female reader #hanta sero #Hanta Sero X Female reader

[masquenoire]

"Roman, have you found someone else to entertain you? Have you grown tired of me?" (Matt)

It had been some time since Matt had last graced Roman's office with his presence. The window had been left unlocked since his last visit, the very same window the vigilante opted to use for his risqué ventures. Matt wasn't known as Daredevil for nothing; sneaking into Gotham's most vicious crime boss's private office was a feat only the bravest - or reckless - would dare attempt, yet Matt had done so not once, not even twice but a handful of times now. Each time the black-clad vigilante swore it would be the last time, that the next time they crossed paths, Matt would drag Roman to the courts himself so the criminal mastermind would at last face justice. Justice he couldn't bribe or threaten his way out of as Matt feared nothing, yet every mortal men had his weakness and the devil knew how to tempt every one of them. Weeks of being cooped up inside had taken their toll on Roman. Organizing drug rings, turf wars and illegal armament deals took time and patience Roman didn't always have, leaving him little to no time to focus on more pleasurable ventures of his own. He'd almost forgotten how shitty the air outside smelled, he'd been cooped up inside for that long. But that was how it went, didn't it? Roman wasn't built in a day and Gotham wasn't taken over in one either. Vices were a bitch to deal with and power, so intoxicating yet surprisingly fragile, needed constant supervision lest years of careful work got flushed down the drain in an instant. The sound of Matt's voice carrying over to his ears was more welcome than Roman had expected. Days of focusing on little else but securing the eastern half of Gotham's drug supplies was wearing on his focus and the vigilante was a devil in his own right in providing some much-needed distraction from his dark work. Had he found somebody else to entertain him? Had he fuck. Only little miss paperwork had his attention all this week and Roman was in sore need of being reminded as to the pleasures only carnal sin could give.

"How could you say such a thing? Ti ho pensato ogni giorno, I thought about you every day, wondering when you might slip through that window again..." The weight of the paper in his hand disgusted him and Roman immediately cast it aside out of sight and out of mind, his every thought now preoccupied by the very physical presence of the vigilante standing in his midst. Matt couldn't be ignored, not here not now and Roman wondered glumly if at last their game had come to an end. He'd waited for the man's return, albeit impatiently to see what his adversary might do now word had gotten around that Roman had been real busy at work securing his foothold on this troubled city. Hands moved, not to grab at Sodom and Gomorrah waiting in their holsters but instead two clean glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Years of heavy drinking taught Roman to pour without needing to watch, dark eyes growing darker with unbidden desire as he fixed Matt with a hungry look mere sustenance couldn't appease. "And to ask if I've grown tired of you, why, you wound my heart. There hasn't been entertainment like you in far too long, not since you last visited. Come, enjoy a drink and tell me how you've been. I'd hate to think that my favourite vigilante hasn't been getting enough action that he's starting to feel neglected. Mea Culpa, I have been a busy man..." It was as they said, the devil made work for idle thumbs and in this case he'd come calling, though as to how tonight's visit might go, Roman rather wanted their little game to continue. It had been far too long since he'd gotten his hands dirty and Matt had stopped by at a most opportune time.

#defectivexfragmented #;; asks #Sorry this was a bit delayed I had to go rushing off to work before I could finish! #Please don't feel obliged to answer since it got a bit long <3 #I hope it's okay I'm still shaking off the dust and rust #But this was very welcome to receive bless you May <3 #Quite the contrary Matt he hasn't found anybody as entertaining as you #And has more work to be done in corrupting you if you know what I mean! #Apologies if this didn't hit quite how you liked I can rewrite if need be #Just didn't want to make it too forwards if you wanted to dial things back a bit but I'm all for it #He's missed you a lot Matt #You and that sinful body of yours

[bumblesimagines]

Double Trouble

Request: Yes or No

Couldn't think of a better title lmao. This is gonna be real shitty but the intro to series are either amazing or pure shit. Gonna give (Y/N)'s mom and fam a name cause I don't wanna keep writing (M/N) or (L/N). (Y/N) isn't related to any of the characters fyi. Spot the very obvious accidental reference

~

"Why California? Out of all the places in America, California was choice you went with? Not Washington, Oregon, or fuck, I don't know, North Dakota?" (Y/N) rested his head against the window, watching the houses pass by. His mother, Tanya, glanced at him with a small frown.

"Baby, aren't you tired of Alaska? Same old cold weather?" Tanya asked, staring forward at the empty road. (Y/N) scoffed, sitting up and looking at her with a raised brow.

"You can escape the cold. You can't escape the heat." (Y/N) pointed out, leaning back and picking up his phone with a frown. He looked at the texts from his friend, sighing softly.

Yaya

U already in cali??

(Y/N)

Ya

(Y/N)

It sucks

Yaya

New school new u bby

Daniel

Whats the time difference?

(Y/N)

It's 4 here

(Y/N)

Wbu?

Yaya

3

"Baby, could you look at me?" Tanya asked, pulling into the school parking lot and parking the car. (Y/N) turned his head to look at her.

"I'm sorry I suddenly dragged us out of Alaska. I just felt like we could use a change. Alaska feels suffocating as an adult. I want you to have new experiences." Tanya explained softly. (Y/N) nodded, glancing at the students walking into school.

"Listen, if you get anxious or feel sick, text me, okay?" Tanya gave him a comforting smile, running a hand through his hair. (Y/N) nodded, opening the car door. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car.

"Have a good day, sweetie!"

"You too." (Y/N) closed the door, walking towards the school. He had lived in Seward his whole life. He was used to the cold, the sound of boats, the cold immediately hitting his face the moment he stepped outside. (Y/N) knew it wasn't about experiences. His mom just didn't want him to have the same boring life she did. (Y/N) looked at his phone, opening the group chat again. He looked through the texts, smiling at the pictures his friend sent him. (Y/N) looked at his email, sighing as he searched for his locker. He found it, opening it and glancing at the guy beside him.

"Uh, hey, I'm Ethan. You're new, right?" Ethan gave an awkward smile, clearing his throat. (Y/N) licked his lips, nodding. Ethan seemed like the typical nerdy loner.

"Yeah, I'm (Y/N)."

"Cool, cool. Where are you coming from?" Ethan tilted his head, closing his locker and leaning against it. (Y/N) didn't feel like making friends but Ethan could probably help him get familiar with everyone and everything.

"Alaska." (Y/N) replied, closing his locker and giving him a tight smile. Ethan's brows raised, letting out a small chuckle.

"Really? That's cool, I've never really left California. What's it like?"

"Cold." (Y/N) chuckled softly. Ethan laughed and nodded, licking his lips as he stuck his hands in his pockets. (Y/N) looked him over. He was small, skinny, seemed nervous and awkward. Probably a good guy.

"So, are you a junior?" Ethan asked. (Y/N) nodded, going into his phone gallery and pressing on the saved picture of his schedule. He showed him the screen, watching him lean in and smile.

"We have 1st, 3rd, and 6th together." Ethan said, motioning down the hall. "Come on, I'll show you around."

"Thanks." (Y/N) gave him a small smile, following him. His gaze flickered from student to student. Some glanced at him, knowing he was new. (Y/N) didn't like attention. He didn't like the spotlight. He hated when people stared or payed too much attention to him. He hated the way a pit formed in his stomach and he became nauseous when he was called on and people stared at him in class. (Y/N) entered the class, taking a seat beside Ethan and sighing softly.

"Thanks, by the way. I didn't expect to make a friend until like my second week here."

"No problem. I know it can feel shitty to be the new kid." (Y/N) gave Ethan a small smile, looking forward.

(Y/N) set down his lunch tray, sitting down across from Ethan. He glanced around the courtyard, picking up a french fry. Ethan finished drinking his water, humming softly.

"By the way, whatever you do, don't mess with Maddy Perez." Ethan said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. (Y/N) furrowed his brows.

"Right, you don't know them." Ethan chuckled, turning his head. He looked around, searching for the girls.

"There, the girl with black hair besides the blonde and the girl in a jeresy." Ethan motioned towards them. Maddy seemed like your typical popular. Makeup done perfectly, perfect body, her hair was done perfectly.

"She's a cheerleader and probably the most popular girl in school. She's been with Nate Jacobs for a while. Nate is a football player and his dad has a lot of power. He's.. Terrifying. The girls beside her are her best friends. Cassie and Barbara." Ethan picked up his burger. "There's Kat too and Kat is.."

"Your crush?" (Y/N) cocked a brow, chuckling. Ethan's tone had changed the moment this 'Kat' girl had been mentioned. His eyes had softened and a smile had appeared on his face.

"U-Uhm, n-no. She's a friend, like, just a friend." Ethan gave a nervous fake smile. (Y/N) hummed, shaking his head as he chuckled softly. He looked down at his tray, poking at the wrapped burger.

"Anyways, Cassie's nudes and some videos of her got leaked by her exes. It was real shitty." Ethan told him, finishing his burger. "There's Rue and Jules. Rue overdosed over the summer and Jules is new here."

"What?" (Y/N) furrowed his brows, staring at Ethan. The biggest thing that ever happened at his school was two teachers fighting. Drugs were an issue everywhere. He just didn't expect a teenger to OD and everyone to know. Ethan looked back at him.

"Do you wanna.. Hang out?"

"I have to unpack." (Y/N) replied, picking up his phone and scrolling through his instagram.

"Oh, shit, that's the new kid." Barbara pointed out, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. Cassie and Maddy turned to look.

"Oh.. Where's he from?" Cassie asked as she twirled a strand of her blonde hair around her finger. She wanted to forget all about McKay after their argument and breakup. The new boy seemed like a good distraction.

"He seems sweet." Cassie said with a small smile. Maddy scoffed, rolling her eyes as she looked at her.

"That's what you say about every guy, Cassie." Maddy opened her backpack, taking out her makeup bag. She took out some gloss, turning when she spotted Nate. She scowled when Nate very obviously flirted with some girl. Maddy took in a deep breath, turning toward her friends.

"Is there a party tonight? I need to fuck with Nate. He's such a dick." Maddy tapped her nails against her phone case. Cassie gave her a comforting smile, shaking her head.

"You can come over and we'll have a photo shoot. You can post it and make him regret everything." Cassie grinned as Maddy's eyes lit up, nodding.

"This is why I love you, Cass." The two giggled as Maddy wrapped her arms around her.

"But, back to that new guy.. If he hangs with Ethan, he's probably a loser." Barbara said, watching the two boys. Cassie gasped softly, shooting her a look.

"BB! Ethan's actually a really sweet guy. We did a project together last year." Cassie said. Maddy nodded, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, BB, don't be a bitch. You do got a point though. He gives major school shooter vibes." Maddy said, leaning forward to look around Cassie. She watched as the two stood and threw away their trash.

"Hey, they're staring at you." Ethan said, nudging (Y/N). (Y/N) turned towards the girls, catching their eyes before he shrugged and turned away.

"Let's go to History."

#x reader #x you #x y/n #x male reader #x male!reader #euphoria #euphoria x male reader #euphoria x reader #euphoria x you #euphoria x y/n #maddy perez #maddy perez x reader #maddy perez x male reader #maddy perez x you #maddy perez x y/n #cassie howard #cassie howard x reader #cassie howard x male reader #cassie howard x you #cassie howard x y/n #euphoria ethan

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing x.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 8, 711

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

so here is the mini monster chap !! i know I said this was going to be a drabble series but I clearly got carried away LOL

anyways, no spoilers for this chap but I can say it's one of my favs that I've written and I think we see oc getting the comfort that she deserves (and needs!)

and also !! this is my first time updating a series on tumblr and it feels *exciting* hehe, I hope you enjoy this chapter c:

let me know your thoughts in my asks!! i'd love to hear what you think so far :3

all the love and I hope you're having a great

day/night/evening/afternoon wherever you are ❤️

“Open up!”

The only person that would opt to yell to get your attention than ring on your doorbell like a normal person would be Yena. And it helped that you immediately recognised her voice from the first syllable she uttered. That and you were currently moping in your living room with lactose-free ice cream, courtesy of Jimin that dropped it off a day ago when he heard that you were ‘sick’. Even if you hadn’t seen him face-to-face, you remember him softly hoping you’d get better.

You don’t know why she’s at your door, but you’re already on your feet to get her when you hear her begin to mutter curses directed at you behind the thin wood of your entrance.

“I can hear you!” You call.

“Well bitch then open the damn door!” She snaps.

You roll your eyes, and so far with the number of times you’ve hung out with her, it’s safe to say that the two of you were comfortable. You never knew how fun having a girl best friend was until you met Yena, and sure it’s only been a little under two weeks since you’ve gotten to know her through various messages and FaceTimes, but you feel like she’s your friend soulmate.

And when you expressed that to her over a FaceTime call a few nights back, you remember her gagging all while you flush and attempt to take it back. You know her candidly calling you bitch rather than your name was her saying she felt the same.

You pull the door open as she stands there with her eyes narrowed into slits, eyeing you up and down before she scrunches her nose.

“There’s a thing called a shower that you should look into. You look like a rundown version of long-haired Noah Beck.” She grimaces when she eyes you up and down.

You scowl. “You did not just compare me to him.”

She clicks her tongue before she shoves you aside by shoving a plastic bag of the takeout food into your arms and steps into your apartment.

Yena ignores the glare you shoot at the back of her neck when she looks around your living room, scrunching her nose like she was here to inspect your room than pay you a visit.

“Did someone die in here or was that just your will to live?”

You scoff. “Wow. Drag me.”

She waves you off before plopping onto your couch while you sigh, immediately heading to the kitchen to prep the food she brought over.

“For a moment I thought you were dead.” She confesses casually.

When you return with bowls and plates, with the cutlery to match—you give her a dry look before you’re taking your seat on the floor; attempting to hide your half-eaten tub of ice cream, which Yena immediately spots.

“So your first instinct was to yell at my door in hopes that I wasn’t actually dead?” You ask dryly.

She picks up your ice cream and grimaces at it, silently judging you for the flavour before she gives you a shrug.

“Yeah. I was hoping that your spirit would confer.”

You snort. “And the food?”

“A peace offering.” She tells you like it’s obvious.

You sigh, you loved Yena—you really did. She was all over the place and random, but it was a refreshing difference that you needed in your life from the usual law and order you often opted for.

“Not that I don’t appreciate your concern,” You tell her, pulling out a container to see your favourite lemon chicken as you eye her suspiciously. “But what brings you here? I told you I was sick.”

Yena scoffs. “And sick you are, bitch. What kind of sick person devours ice cream? Sure, you look the part but your diet says otherwise. Don’t think I didn’t see the empty packet of snickers in the trash.”

You scowl.

“I recovered yesterday.” You lie, taking a bite out of the chicken.

Yena rolls her eyes and you know she doesn’t believe you. She leans into your couch while she watches you eat, “Namjoon texted me that you may need some company.” At that, you choke.

Her eyes widen as you hit at your chest to get the food to go down, eyes still wide at her revelation.

“Why would he do that?” You cry.

“Girl, I know you’re not trying to deflect—you’re literally about to choke and die.”

You glare at her. “I’m fine.” You cough for good measure, then you’re levelling another serious gaze at her.

“I’m fine.” You reiterate with an emphasis on your state even though you were anything but. “I don’t know why the hell he thinks I need company.” You mutter under your breath.

At this, Yena’s face softens as she leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees while you avoid her gaze; idly poking at your food.

“I don’t know either, and you don’t need to tell me anything.” She says softly. “That’s all I’m here for. To be your company, whether you need it or not.”

You don’t know how much Namjoon told her over a text message, but you don’t think it’s much. Purely because he didn’t seem like a snitch and he was too respectful to ever let other people into the business that wasn’t his own. Even at the thought, you want to groan because you essentially lured him into thinking it was okay for him to kiss you while you were … you don’t even know what the fuck was happening anymore.

“I—” You say weakly, and all Yena does is offer you a comforting smile.

For some reason, the fact that she’s here right in front of you after you spent the day crying and feeling like your heart has been repeatedly stomped over with the addition of your rumination—it feels nice to have someone with you, even if it’s just their presence.

But the way she doesn’t look at you and expects something out of your conversation makes you feel even more overwhelmed, and that’s probably why the dam breaks.

Yena’s eyes widen as she immediately darts out to wrap her arms around you when you end up in violent sobs. You don’t know why you’re crying but you are, and you’re tired of hiding things, your feelings and your intent just to pretend like things were okay.

“It’s okay.” She strokes your hair and it feels warm, like a mother comforting a crying baby and you realise that this is what friends should feel like.

“N-no it’s n-not!” You cry into her shirt and it’s messy, but she doesn’t seem like she minds. Especially when she supports your pliable frame.

“You wanna talk about it?” She asks softly, giving you a kind smile.

You sniffle, staring forward as you feel your eyes swell with the escalation of your tears.

“I don’t know.” You whisper.

She hums, “It’s okay not to know. You don’t need to know everything.”

“I’m just so tired, Yena.” You tell her in a hushed breath.

“Life is difficult.” She admits. “It’s natural to be tired.”

You’re thankful to hear that she doesn’t comfort you with blind optimism. She’s real and she acknowledges how shitty things may be, and frankly, you didn’t need another wannabe altruist telling you that things will get better. You knew that, everyone did. But when you’re at rock bottom and all you see is darkness, you’re not looking for better. You’re looking for a reason to continue.

“Can I say something?” She asks. The way she looks at you is soft and open, and non-judgemental. You feel safe.

You nod your head, teary eyes staring up at her.

“You’re not responsible for anyone’s feelings except your own.” She looks at you so seriously that you nearly feel your breath escape. “There are things that you can and cannot control—and the latter usually falls under the people around you.”

You suck in a breath, and you wonder how she’s so spot on without ever touching on the true context.

“Namjoon texted me but I didn’t come here because he asked me to. It’s because you deserve to have someone be around you when you’re clearly not okay.”

“I’m—”

“You’re not.” She blinks, and you almost pout at her firm tone. “And that’s okay. I don’t need to know what happened to justify how you feel. You could’ve stubbed your toe and feel like absolute shit and I have absolutely no right to judge you on how or when you feel emotions.”

You wonder where she’s been your entire life and why she was only in your life now.

“But the thing is,” She sighs. “You don’t always have to choose between something or the other. Sometimes you need to choose yourself.”

You stare up at her in awe because Yena was cool in general, her laidback and unbending personality was mainly what drew you to her because you’d argue you were the opposite. Even if Jungkook’s words stung, you could take it at face value and accept that it was true.

You were uptight and you were a bit of a prude, and for the longest time, you always resented that aspect of you. But you realised with Yena, she had traits that were resented in a woman as well. And you realise that you’d never be perceived the way you want unless you perceive yourself in a positive light first.

So when she speaks to you so sternly, yet with a tone of care as she picks apart her words so carefully—you realise what you have to do.

“I think I like Jungkook.”

Yena pauses for a brief second, but you don’t see any judgement in her face. Just confusion, a warranted emotion you don’t blame her for having.

“I figured as much.”

Your eyes widened, “How—?”

It’s almost like a repeat of the first night at the football game when you befriended each other, but she only shoots you a gentle smile.

“Call it a woman’s intuition.”

You blink, fiddling with your fingers before you stare up at her, continuing your drawls.

“And we kissed.”

At this, Yena cocks an eyebrow up, “Was this recent?”

You fiddle with your thumbs before you sigh and push yourself up.

“Thing is …” You mumble, “I’m not like that.”

You don’t answer her question because you can’t think of a proper enough response to tell her that yeah—you did kiss him, amongst other things that you foolishly allowed yourself to indulge in. You knew Yena wasn’t judgemental but you also knew that you couldn’t retrieve your words the moment they left your mouth. It was your own judgement that stopped you from saying the things you really wanted and it sucked, royally. Because you could tell that Yena wasn’t out here to crucify you for being … liberated. She just wanted to be there for you.

Yena scrunches her eyebrows in confusion as she allows your words to settle, pondering a response.

She settles for a huff, “Care to elaborate?”

“I don’t … do things like that.” You say softly. “I’m shy and quiet. I’m not active in the social sphere and I only have three friends that I can reach out to if I wanna hang out. But even then, I don’t … I don’t like partying, or drinking, or loud spaces. I’m awkward and horrible at social interaction let alone being able to navigate my romantic feelings. And … I felt so bad about it.”

Yena’s eyes soften, but you can’t look at her just yet. Not when this is the first time you’ve ever laid yourself vulnerable, emotionally that is, to someone that wasn’t just the confines of your thoughts.

“I always wondered what it’d like to be confident, to be liked on campus and not just be known as the smart girl.” You whisper. “My entire personality was built around my achievements and I didn’t know what else to do. What if … what if I peak here and fail after?” Your eyes are wide in despair, and you feel your lips quiver when you speak.

“You’ll never know.” Yena reminds you gently. “You won’t know who likes you or what people say about you—but you’re going to be hearing your own thoughts 24/7 and that’s what kicks you down or drives you further.”

You sigh, nodding your head.

“It’s just … Jungkook and I were close. We grew up together even if he’s younger than me. But we just got along well and he … he saw me. He used to comfort me whenever I’d tell him how pressuring it got and—I feel so stupid because he probably says that to everyone and I fell for it.” You chuckle with no emotion, staring at the stray thread poking outside of your couch pillow.

“Have you spoken to him about your feelings?” She asks softly.

Immediately, you scoff and the sour emotion peaks through again.

“He’s made it clear what he wants to hear from me.” You mutter.

Yena purses her lips before resting her hands gently on your shoulder.

“You’re not answering my question, ______.” She chides gently.

You nibble on your bottom lip and shake your head. That earns a sigh from her as she wraps her arms around you once again, resting her chin on your shoulder as you allow yourself to feel the comfort of her warmth.

“He kissed me first and we did things together.” Your lips quiver when you recall the memories, “A-And he’s with Jennie. I just …” You flutter your eyes shut, “I don’t want to say that I’m the other girl but I feel a lot like a second option and it sucks.”

Yena doesn’t ask, and she doesn’t need to. She doesn’t need to justify why you felt the way you did, so she holds you tighter.

“Babe.” She gently turns you to look at her with both hands resting on your shoulders. “Did you talk to him? Properly? Do you really know if he’s with her?”

“I think them kissing proves enough to me.” You snap, and you don’t know why you’re being so hostile, especially to Yena.

She purses her lips, “You kissed him and you aren’t together.”

You wince and she shoots you an apologetic look. She sighs before reaching out to squeeze your hand, all while you stare at the ground to level out your emotions.

“I’m not saying that you can’t feel the way you do. But I’m offering objectivity here. Men are … they’re blunt creatures and that’s the biggest difference between men and women.” You furrow your eyebrows as she takes a deep breath before she continues. “And the idea that we’re equal? No, we’re not. I’m not talking about our systemic positions in society but on an emotional level. Men take things surface value and work with it, they don’t stop to think about the layers of feelings that go into interpersonal relationships with friends, family or lovers. Women? We go big or we go home. All we see is the big picture and sometimes the little details get lost in translation. This isn’t me justifying Jungkook playing home with you or Jennie at the same time, but offering you a perspective that may be hard for you to see because you aren’t him.”

It was true, and you hated yourself for being aware but not putting action based on your own thoughts. Yena only reaffirmed the idea that you overthought every single interaction and maybe that was why you were the one that was hurting.

That, or you and Jungkook had horrible communication problems that neither of you was ready to face just yet. But how could you? When the two of you were on two different wavelengths and you were trying to be just enough for him while he was jumping off pedestals to see you.

It didn’t feel nice, and it sucked because he was the same person that comforted you and broke you all at once.

“I’m scared.” You whisper.

She smiles at you gently, patting your head gently as you peer up at her with tears between your lashes.

“And that’s okay.” She reassures you with a soft voice, “The only thing scarier than being scared is not feeling at all.”

Before you go to where your heart tells you to—your mind is the only thing that keeps you rooted in some form of rationale. That’s probably why you’re outside of Namjoon’s dorm. You don’t think you’ve ever paid his place a visit despite him telling you his address on multiple occasions, usually opting to hang out in public yet serene places where you were able to get a breather.

Your feet feel heavy and your fist is raised, but it barely moves. Especially when you’re just eyeing his door like a deer caught in headlights. You’ve rehearsed the apology on your tongue a million times, even if you don’t really know what you’re apologising for. But you feel like you must, particularly because you’ve senselessly let him see all of the feelings that you were trying to suppress in hopes of retaining the same ones he had for you.

You take a deep breath and deliver the first knock, the vibrations making your arm feel weak.

But you’re tired of always surrendering to bigger and more frightening things that you could understand. So you purse your lips and play the waiting game.

It seems like a long twenty minutes that you wait, but in reality, it’s only two when the door swings open. You brace yourself to see Namjoon, apology already sitting on your tongue.

You should’ve dropped a text, you knew that. But you decided against it because you haven’t spoken to Namjoon since what happened a few days ago. Neither of you speaking about the kiss or the way your eyes glistened when you saw Jungkook and Jennie together.

“____?” He asks confusedly.

You give him a meek smile, “Hi. Can I come in?”

He blinks at you, and you notice he still has his glasses that he usually forgoes during the times you’ve hung out—and you feel a little guilty for catching him at a bad time.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Sure.”

Namjoon steps aside and you’re welcomed into the space of his living room. The first thing you notice is the interior, and how … Namjoon it was. It’s both cluttered and neat, the palette of his furniture matching the overall vibe he emanated. His furniture is mostly wood, light sandalwood that makes it feel all the homier.

And you tell him such, “You have a very homey place.”

Namjoon turns his head to look at you right before he plops himself back onto his couch where you see the bits and pieces of paper scrambled across the floor and the couch. Even then, he was able to look so welcoming even though you reckon he has a right to be hostile—for a reason you came here to apologise for.

“Thank you.” He flushes, patting a spot in front of him for you to take your seat.

When you settle, the atmosphere turns strained when you mull over your words so that you wouldn’t stumble over them. You practised, you did—about a hundred times before you came here and you thought you were ready to apologise and put things behind you but it’s proven difficult when all he does is look at you in earnest.

“Not that I—uh—mind,” He mumbles, “But is there a reason why you’re here?”

You blink at him as you ignore the quiver in your heart.

“I’m sorry.” You blurt.

“_____ why are you—”

“You didn’t deserve what happened the other day.” You interject, voice soft but unwavering when you force yourself to look at him as his eyes widen.

“I wasn’t the one that saw something I shouldn’t have.” He reminds you with a frown.

You swallow, “I kissed you. And you …” It wasn’t helping that he was looking at you so gently as he awaits your continuation. “You didn’t need to save me back then, Namjoon.” You end in a whisper.

Namjoon reaches out to grab your shoulder, touch gentle as he searches for your eyes.

“I didn’t save you …” He tells you tenderly.

“It’s not just that!” You exasperate while you throw your hands up in the air. “I-it’s everything … from the way you treat me and the way you look at me. You didn’t need to do any of that and you even—” You trail off, fluttering your eyes shut. “—what did you say to Jungkook right before we left?”

Namjoon’s eyes enlarge as his grip becomes tense against your shoulder. You can almost see the way his mind kicks into gear as he thinks of a response.

“That—I—does it matter?” He huffs.

Your eyes soften, “Namjoon.” You force yourself to look at him even if now he was the one that tries to avoid your gaze. “What did you say?”

Namjoon tightens his lips before he sighs deeply, head dropping forward before he looks at you.

“I told him to be honest.” He says softly.

You furrow your eyebrows, “To be honest …?”

“I know you have feelings for him.”

Your face blanches when Namjoon basically exposes you. It’s one thing for you to be self-aware of your complicated feelings towards the other boy. But when someone else points it out, especially when it’s Namjoon—the boy who’s been nothing but kind and patient with you while you’re too busy being caught up in your emotions—it’s like a slap across your face.

“I-I don’t—”

“You don’t need to lie to save my face, ______.” He chuckles dryly, eyes darting away as he tries to neutralise his expression. You wince at the spite he establishes, but you know deep down that Namjoon isn’t angry at you. No, he was far too understanding to be. Disappointed? Frustrated? Sure, but never angry,

The silence answers for you when you look away this time, eyebrows scrunched as you attempt to navigate the conversation. You came here to apologise, and to be honest.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“Don’t.” He takes a deep breath as you flinch. “Don’t … apologise.” He sighs.

“I didn’t mean to lead you on, Namjoon.” You murmur apologetically.

He shoots you a half-hearted chuckle, “You didn’t do anything. Really.”

“But I did, Namjoon. I kissed you back.” You frown.

“That doesn’t imply anything. I kissed you, and you reciprocated. We all kiss someone and not mean anything by it.”

You flinch, and you’re familiar with that more than anyone else. The reminder only stings because it makes you realise that you were not much different from Jungkook, the same person you’ve claimed to have messed with you and fucked you over.

“I’m—”

“Please don’t apologise anymore.” He says. “I already feel like shit.”

You smile sadly at him, “How do you manage to be so nice even when other’s do you wrong?”

Namjoon sighs, then he grabs both your hands in his. “You didn’t wrong me, _____. It’s not your fault you don’t feel the same way I do.”

“How did you …” You trail off.

“How did I know you had feelings for Jungkook?” He chuckles. “The same way he knew I had feelings for you.”

You purse your lips, eyes dropping to your lap. “It’s not that simple, Namjoon …” You say softly.

Namjoon smiles at you gently, “Is it?” He gently nudges your knee with his so that you’d look at him. “Life is simple. It’s not easy. But it’s simple.”

You scoff even if a small smile teases your lips, “You really are a philosophy major, aren’t you?”

The two of you grin in tandem before he purses his lips, possible mulling over something before he faces you.

“The two of you are close so … why beat around the bush?”

Your eyes flutter shut, shaking your head. “Like I said, it’s really not that simple.”

He rolls his eyes at you, but it’s not to mock or taunt you. Namjoon simply sees a naive, yet an intelligent girl who doesn’t see what’s right in front of her.

“Remember what I said? I’m a simple guy.” He reminds you, lips in a grin. “Try me.”

You snort, but you’re still nervous. You still remember that he has feelings for you, so you’re hesitant. And he immediately recognises the guilt-ridden expression that you mar.

Namjoon shoots you a stern glare, “Don’t overthink it.”

You sigh.

“Jungkook and I …” You start, fiddling with your thumbs. “We grew up together.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and shoots you another one of his bland stares. “I know the history. I just want to know why?”

You furrow your brows, “Why?”

“Why the two of you insist on being so emotionally constipated.”

You gape at his audacity, and you’re glad the atmosphere isn’t as tense because Namjoon simply snickers at your reaction.

“I am not—!”

He waves you off, “Really?” He adds dryly.

You purse your lips and relent, even if you didn’t want to agree with him—you knew that he was … right. To a certain extent.

“We kissed.” You blurt.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, “That’s not surprising.”

You shoot him a dry look before he raises his hands in defence.

“He was my first kiss.”

At this, Namjoon’s widen.

“When you were in high school?” He pries.

You flush, embarrassed that you had to tell him otherwise.

“Two months ago.” You mutter.

Namjoon splutters, and you can’t help but glare at him when he quite literally chokes on his spit. You know you caught him off guard, but him rubbing salt in the wound that’s relatively fresh makes you scowl.

“Oh.” He clears his throat. Then he repeats, “Oh.”

You scoff, “Yeah. Oh.”

“Then … what happened?” You know he’s treading carefully with you when he asks you his question softly.

You purse your lips, and you recall every single moment you’ve shared with him. From giggles to hushed kisses, to intimate touches and sweat-stained sheets that have you gasping for air. You remember it all, and they meant … they meant the world to you, but just a speck in his memory.

“Things escalated and we … did stuff together.” You wince.

Namjoon nods in understanding, he gestures his hands around, “Like—”

“I’m a virgin.”

Namjoon blinks.

“And for the longest time, I felt embarrassed about it.”

“Oh.”

“I struggled to find my footing between being sexually liberated and being a woman because for the longest time I thought those two were mutually exclusive. For me, at least.” You say softly.

Namjoon only stares at you.

“And I always wanted validation from someone else to tell me that what I was doing was the right thing to do. Or the supposed thing to do. Never what I really wanted to do.”

“Not that I’m uncomfortable but … why are you letting me in on this?” Namjoon asks with a raised brow.

“Because I want to do something for myself for once.” You whisper.

“Okay …?”

“Why do you like me? Even if I’m … boring and not as sexy as other women?”

You sound pathetic, and the first person you find yourself comparing yourself to is Jennie—a beautiful, confident woman who looked so assured in herself.

“You’re not—”

You groan.

“Namjoon.”

“Okay.” He sighs. “If you’re asking me if I care that you’re a virgin, then no. I really don’t. Because frankly, that concept to me is false and problematic. Whether or not you’ve had sex or not isn’t any of my business.”

You duck your head.

“And I like you because you’re interesting. You’re funny and you’re assured in your own way. You don’t need to be a certain standard of pretty or sexy or whatever for me to like you. I like you because of the time we’ve spent together and that I’ve gotten to know you. The real you and not the person I admired from afar but the girl who throws in jokes out of nowhere but fits so well with the situation. The girl who’s willing to spend three extra hours of her time to help with content that wasn’t prescribed to her. I like you because I’d like to think I’ve grown to understand who you are.”

Namjoon says all of those things while staring at you straight in the face and you feel compelled to cry. Because no one has ever been so honest with you and you hate that your heart can’t reciprocate what should be an easy feeling that comes naturally.

“Fuck.”

His eyes widen.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He coos, a hand petting your hair gently as you sniffle.

“It’s not, Namjoon. Everything sucks because everything is so complicated. Why can’t I just have feelings for you instead?”

It’s selfish, and Namjoon winces. But you’re so overwhelmed that you miss it, and Namjoon is too nice to point his own feelings out.

“You don’t pick and choose your battles, _____.” He murmurs softly.

“That’s not what my mom told me.” You whimper.

He chuckles, “Yeah. Most people like to believe that because it makes them think that they have a choice over the bad things that happen in their lives. But in reality? They don’t. No one decides what happens to them. You pick and choose how you react to things. How you deal with situations and what you make out of those situations is what you can choose to do. You don’t like me, and that’s fine. You don’t have to just because I’m nice to you, _____. Being nice is the absolute bare minimum and something that everyone should feel and do.”

Your face crumbles, “Why are you so wise?”

Namjoon smiles, “I’m not. It’s called offering a different perspective. Just because I see things one way doesn’t make me any better than you who sees things in another. That’s why we meet different types of people throughout our lives. The good, the bad, the in-between. There’s always something people offer to us in the midst of chaos.”

You sigh.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon.”

He pats your head, “I said don’t apologise.”

“No, but I want to. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and you picked up a shitty situation to be in when Jungkook and Jennie were at the library. Even right after I kissed you. That was … a horrible thing to do. I shouldn’t have done that just because—just because I was confused … you don’t deserve that.”

He doesn’t look angry, and that’s even worst because you want him to react, to call you a bitch and say that you were a horrible person.

“I don’t.” He shrugs while you wince. “But a lot of the times we don’t deserve a lot of things that we get. And that’s okay. You did what you thought was justified then, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. But you’re hurting too, and you’re confused—that’s what drove you to do the things that you did, and even here. That’s why you’re apologising to me, right? Because you’re not as confused anymore?”

You shake your head.

“I am, I’m still so confused.” You whisper.

“Then let me offer you another perspective.”

You look up to him with big eyes as he smiles at you gently.

“You have feelings for Jungkook.” You immediately flinch, even if he didn’t hit you. But Namjoon continues. “You’re trying to keep the picture as simple as you can even if it hurts you in the process. But

“You don’t understand, Namjoon … we … did things … that I’m not proud off …”

“You don’t have to—”

“He was my first kiss. My first … sexual experience. Even if it was just … third base,” You cringe, but Namjoon isn’t judging you at all. “A-and that’s all I was to him. An experience.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Do I, Namjoon?” You say softly. “He said things to me that were so hurtful. And a stupid part of me forgives him but it still hurts every time I think about it and when I see him with Jennie.”

You whisper the words Jungkook’s said to you, and for the first time, you see Namjoon’s jaw harden. The most emotion that wasn’t rationale you’ve seen in Namjoon ever since you first arrived.

“I know it hurts.” He murmurs, holding you close. “And I really don’t want it to seem like I’m justifying his words … but would you want to hear me out?”

You purse your lips and nod nevertheless.

“Jungkook isn’t a bad person.” You blink, you never thought he was. “I know you don’t think he is but you want to. Because of the things he’s said to you because why would a good person say those kinds of things, right? But the world isn’t black and white like that. There’s a grey area where 99% of the population falls into because we operate on emotion and sometimes we say things that we may feel but not necessarily believe in.”

“Jungkook … he’s still young. And I know we’re in college and stuff but he’s still three years younger than I am and two years younger than you. He’s spoken to me about how hard it was to adjust to a high school life where you, Jimin and Tae weren’t a part of. And I don’t know about you but if the only friends I’ve ever known suddenly left because they had to … I wouldn’t know what to do either. He was at a point in his life where his environment played a huge part in the values and internalised beliefs he had.”

You look away as you reflect on his words, nibbling on your bottom lip.

“He mixed around with different groups of people, and I hate this saying but it’s still a common belief to many—especially people his age, almost out of high school. But the ‘boys will be boys’ mentality is more than just misogyny and sexism, but a culture where it feeds off complacency and peer pressure. Jungkook suddenly had to shift from three, good friends who were progressive and influential in an objectively good way to people he was obliged to like because they were his peers.”

You gape at him, purely because you knew that Namjoon was smart and wise but his introspection leaves you breathless and enlightened.

“But that doesn’t change the core of Jungkook,” Namjoon says. “He’s still Jungkook. He doesn’t know how to ask for things that he wants without feeling like he’s betraying his masculinity. And again, I’m not justifying his actions because he’s a grown man too. But he’s lost, and the only thing he knows to uphold this sense of masculinity is by being sexually liberated. Even if he conflates his own emotions with his endeavours.”

“I … I don’t even know what to say Namjoon.” You murmur, eyes looking up through your lashes.

“You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to be honest to yourself, not anyone else. But yourself.” He tells you, carding a gentle hand over your head.

You fiddle with your thumbs.

“What do you want?”

Despite you confiding two different people, you find yourself at a convenience store at 12AM, scarfing down ramen from a cup noodle because your mind was a funny place when it was muddled with a hundred different thoughts. You knew sleep wasn’t an option for you either, and you were hungry. But somehow you didn’t have anything back in your apartment that screamed ‘I’m in a crisis’ enough for you to eat.

Which is why you’re here, while the cashier keeps his eyeball to himself when he sees yet another college student who’s probably having their third mental breakdown of the day.

It is, but not for the right reasons, you think dryly.

You think you’re alone until the chime of the bell momentarily distracts you and you turn your head to acknowledge the next lone customer who may be going through their own set of issues, or had a fucked up sleeping schedule.

But you’re not expecting to make eye contact with Jennie, out of everyone or any stranger you could’ve come across.

She spots you, shoots you a weird look that has you nearly choking on a string of noodles before she moves on to what she came here to do and stops at the snack section, skimming through her options before she settles on a pack of shrimp chips. Your heart churns because they were Jungkook’s favourite. You don’t want to wonder why she picked them.

You turn to your noodles, scarf them down some more because you want to eat your thoughts away even if you’re half-considering to call Jungkook, tell him you wanted to talk. But you knew that if you spoke to him now when you were still sorting out your thoughts, you’d end up in a situation you won’t be ready to deal with.

So when you poke at your food and sigh to yourself, you almost miss the way the stool beside you scrapes against the floor as you cringe.

You turn to shoot a petty glare at the person, and you see Jennie; casually tearing open her chips and popping one into her mouth

You blink at her, and you’re left even more speechless when she juts her hand out as if to offer you a shrimp cracker. Like it was a weird symbol of a truce. Even if you weren’t really … enemies.

“Want some?”

You stare at her, and before you can think twice your lips are moving.

“The crackers or your company?” You say dryly.

Her eyes widen, and so does yours. You didn’t expect to say your exact thoughts and you don’t think she expected a quiet, timid girl like you to have said that—out loud at least. Like Yena said, everyone has a mean bone in them. Some longer and larger than others, but they were still there.

“Wow.” She huffs, but she doesn’t seem offended. “Rude, much?”

You wince and feel compelled to apologise. “Sorry.”

She waves you off and you feel odd to be sitting next to her. You always expected her to be more malicious, a lot more of a bitch. And you frown to yourself because you suppose it’s your own preconceived notions of her due to the association she has with Jungkook that had you thinking of her that way.

“What’s someone like you doing here on a weekday?” She asks off-handedly.

The term ‘someone like you’ doesn’t sit well with you, and you scowl.

“I’m eating. What does it look like?” You retort, and Jennie only raises an eyebrow at your response. Much like an angry kitten.

“Damn, I was just asking.” She mutters under her breath, “I’m hungry. Needed a snack.” She shakes the crackers in front of you, “You sure you don’t want one?”

You can’t believe her as you gape at her easy-going state when she thrusts the bag of crackers into your face yet again.

“No.” You furrow your brows, gently pushing it away as she shrugs her shoulders.

“It’s good.” She reasons, and you don’t know why she’s so adamant about having you take one.

The irrational part of you thinks she wants to poison you, to eliminate you for good so she won’t have to deal with your pathetic pining over a person that wasn’t even yours.

“I know.” You mutter. “I tried it before.”

Jennie nods her head slowly, observing the content of the packet on the back before she turns to face you, “Jungkook introduced this to me. Didn’t see the appeal but it’s addictive.”

You freeze, and your ramen soup is getting cold with the way you haven’t prodded at it for a while and in the air-conditioning in the convenience store. You feel your stomach drop, especially now that your initial suspicions were confirmed.

“That’s nice.” You grit. It really isn’t.

“Did he introduce it to you?” She asks with a tilt of her head.

Why you’re still talking to her, or why she was bothering to talk to you when she’s ignored you all this while—you aren’t sure. But you still answer her despite the spite that forms in your chest.

“I introduced it to him.” You inform.

She hums, unbothered. It only irritates you more.

“Is there a reason?” You huff. “Why you’re here?”

She raises an eyebrow, “I’m hungry?”

You scoff. “No.” You slam the table ever so slightly because even if you were annoyed and confused, you weren’t that brave and you didn’t want to cause a scene at a convenience store at midnight. “Why are you here. Talking to me.”

Jennie blinks at you, then stares at you for seconds too long that you flush under her unwavering stare before she ends up in a fit of giggles. You almost think she’s here to mock you, to call you out on your pathetic and humiliating pining for someone who doesn’t care about you the same way you do to him. But she pats you on the shoulder, and you want to think it’s condescending but it doesn’t seem that way at all.

“You’re an acquaintance. You looked like you needed the company.”

You frown, “I don’t.”

She rolls her eyes, munching on another chip.

“You do. Your posture looks depressing.”

“Excuse me?” You scowl.

“It’s true.” She shrugs. “You don’t seem the type to be here wallowing unless it’s really bad. You seem like you have your shit together.”

And because your mind is already muddled and confused, and filled with irrational thoughts. Her words set you off, and you seem to be underrating or overreacting more than usual. So you snap, you shove your cup aside that the soup nearly sloshes out and send her a glare so blazing that Jennie’s caught off guard.

“And you think you know me well enough to gauge whether or not I’m ‘like this’ or the type to have a perfect mental breakdown regimen because I’m smart?” You seethe. Jennie’s eyes widen. “I have mental breakdowns like every other student and I binge eat when I’m stressed and I fuck up from time to time. I curse, yes! I see your face. Oh does she not curse? Well, look at me, bitch. I can curse like a motherfucking sailor at sea when the fishes come because I’m human. I’m just like you. So fuck off with your ‘you seem like you have your shit together’ because I don’t and I’m so fucking annoyed with your stupid face whenever I see it because it only reminds me of Jungkook!”

The silence is defining, even the cashier stops counting his bills for the night because you don’t hear the rubbing of money together. You feel his stare on your back, and more pressingly, you feel Jennie’s shocked expression linger on your face, and now that you’ve come down from your rage. Your face heats up in embarrassment.

You don’t even recall what you said, except for the fact you’ve mentioned her and Jungkook in the same sentence. And your face pales.

“I …” She chokes.

You flush, before you’re turning away, snatching your belongings to leave and forget this convenience store and never return because you don’t think you can show your face here ever again.

But before you’re able to make a run for it, a hand grabs your elbow that stops you from moving any further.

“This is already as embarrassing—” You exasperate, trying to snatch your arm away.

“For a girl so smart, you’re really dumb, aren’t you?” She deadpans.

You gape, finding enough strength to retrieve your arm as you stare at her with a dumbfounded expression.

“Excuse me—?”

“Firstly, let’s unpack what you just said because there are a lot of things that need to be dissected here.” She says blankly.

You scowl, “Look I don’t—”

“One.” She blinks as if she was doing a presentation for a course and not talking to an alleged acquaintance. “I don’t think you should act a certain way just because you’re smart. You’re entitled to your own mechanisms and I’m not judging you for them. I was simply pointing out my own observations, and I’m sorry for being insensitive.”

You’re stunned to silence, because did Jennie just … apologise to you?

“Two.” She says. You listen silently. “I think you have things you need to talk to Jungkook about, and frankly—I would’ve stayed away if I knew that the two of you were a thing.”

“We’re not a thing!” You cry, face flushed.

She shoots you an unimpressed look, “Really. So that oddly targeted blow-up was because of your mental breakdown and not because you don’t have feelings for Jungkook?”

She’s the third person to call you out the same day, or within the first one in the next. And it’s even more embarrassing because it’s the girl you’ve compared yourself to countless times because of your own insecurities.

“Yes.” You snap childishly.

Jennie sighs, gesturing for you to sit on the stool. You want to defy her out of spite, but you’ve already gotten this far into the conversation and you feel like you’d miss out on something if you left now.

“Why are you mad at me?” She asks.

“I-I’m not mad—” You weakly protest.

“You are. There’s anger in you and if it’s not directed to Jungkook then it’s directed to me. Is it because I’m a woman?”

Your eyes widen, “What—?”

“Let me reword that,” She sighs. “Is it because I’m the woman with Jungkook?”

You flinch at her declaration, especially since she indirectly confessed to being with him, while you weren’t.

“I don’t …” You trail off in a whisper.

“I don’t blame you for being angry.” She says. “But I need you to understand that I would never have done anything with him if I knew that the two of you were together.”

“We’re not.” You blink, and her unimpressed look is still there that makes you speak a little louder. “We’re not together.”

She opens her mouth to say something, then shuts it. You see her furrow her eyebrows before she settles for a response that comes a few moments after.

“Okay, then if you’re not together then why the resentment?” She puts it so simply and now that you’re listening to her, you feel a lot stupider.

“I just …” You croak, fiddling with your fingers, “I don’t …”

She sighs, “Listen. We’re both women here. I know how it feels to be left in the dark when it comes to things like this but there’s no point in being angry at me when in reality it’s Jungkook you need to talk to. If you aren’t together then I don’t understand why you’re angry with me—or with him.”

You sit there in silence, nearly pouting like a scolded child.

“You’re his type.” You say softly.

Jennie pauses before she raises an eyebrow.

“And you believe that?”

You furrow your eyebrows, “I mean, of course?” You mumble, “You’re pretty, confident and sexy. Any guy would like you.”

For a moment, you think you’ve said too much. Looked to vulnerable. But Jennie doesn’t do the typical mean girl thing where she laughs in your face and threatens to expose you. Instead, her eyes soften, and her hand reaches out to hold yours.

“____.” She calls your name gently, and you look away, embarrassed. “You’re pretty. You’re confident. You are sexy.”

You flush, “No. I’m not.”

She scoffs, “_____, there isn’t a set definition of what a pretty woman is like. Nor is there a one-dimensional understanding of a confident woman. There are confident women who strut in their walk and commands all the attention in the room. But there are also quiet, assured women who are intelligent and confident in their capabilities. Both of them are so different, but the one thing that they have in common?” She prompts as your eyebrows furrow. “They’re both women who are worthy of love.”

You blink up at her when her tone goes softer.

“I don’t think I’m Jungkook’s type.” She tells you.

But for some reason you need to deny it, again.

“I think you are.” You mumble, “You’re … you. And you’re probably … experienced.” You cringe at what you say, and you’re mortified if you need to explain yourself to her. But Jennie immediately picks up on it, and you don’t notice how she tenses for a split second but recovers immediately.

“We’ve done things together, yes.” You feel your heart shatter, “But you don’t have to do anything with him for him to like you.”

You sigh, “Maybe. But that's the only way he’s ever wanted me.” You say so softly that Jennie almost doesn’t catch it.

Jennie’s face softens much more, turning into a much gentler expression as she nudges your chin to look at her. And when you do, you feel wounded. You feel so much less assured than you were when you were raging at her. You hated it, how she treated you so kindly when she should’ve been cursing at you like you did to her.

“Do you want to know something?” She asks.

You nibble on your lips before you nod your head.

“If someone doesn’t want you. It’s not because you’re lacking. It’s because they’re lacking the sense to perceive you in a way that recognises your inherent worth to be loved.”

Your breath hitches and Jennie continues.

“I’ve had instances where men didn’t want to sleep with me because I was too confident, too sexually liberated for them. As if who I slept with mattered because it wasn’t them. It was never going to be them.”

“I didn’t sleep with Jungkook.” You tell her, voice soft as if you needed to clarify.

“And you don’t need to. You don’t need to sleep with anyone for them to want you. If Jungkook only wants you for your body then he doesn’t deserve you.” She points out.

You feel your heart clench, and the realisation coming from Jennie only hurts even more.

“But he’s important to me …” You whisper.

“What’s important is not always what’s good for you.” She informs you with a gentle smile. “Your sexuality is yours. And if you want to sleep or be sexual with someone, you do it because you want to. Not because someone coerced you into doing it.”

Your eyes widened, “N-No. Jungkook didn’t force me. I consented. To all of it.” You murmur, “I wanted to do it. B-But I just felt so … lacking? In comparison and … since then all he’s came to me for was just … that.”

Jennie nibbles on her bottom lip, “Jungkook’s not a bad person.” She says softly. And she’s the second person that tells you that. So you know it’s a true reflection of his character.

“I know.”

She smiles, “We both do.” She nods, “But he’s misguided. He’s never had the ability to be with someone he really cares for and I think when that happened—he dealt with it the only way he knows how to.”

You furrow your brows, “But he’s with you.”

She shakes her head with a small chuckle, “No. Not emotionally, at least.” She informs. “And he doesn’t care about me. I know. He’s always kept me at arms-length away, and I’m fine with that because I don’t like him like that either.”

You blink, and your ears turn red. “H-How do you—?”

“How do I separate lust from affection?” She laughs. “It’s because I can. Not everyone can do that, and Jungkook is one of them.”

“But you just said that he didn’t care about you.”

“I’m not talking about me,” She smiles sadly.

Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion until you realise what she was implying. And you don’t want to assume anything, never. Because hope was the one feeling that was worse than fear and you didn’t want to subject yourself to that just yet.

“Oh.” You mumble.

She nods, squeezing your hand.

“I think he misses you.”

You purse your lips.

You missed him, too.

#bts fic #bts imagine #bts fics #bts imagines #bts smut #bts x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts jungkook #bad boy good thing

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ A FIRST DATE ❜

with Johnny ‘Coco’ Cruz.

Request: Can I request a fluffy Coco imagine?? From his POV about their 1st date and his thoughts abt her and stuff? I really want some coco fluff lol. ❤❤🔥

BY ANON

Word count: about 1.7k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

“Brother, just be yourself”.

Angel thinks that Coco is giving it more importance than it really has, after trying different outfits, without finding the perfect one. He doesn't have many clothes, because he doesn't really need it. But now, he's really pissed off.

“If I act like usually, she'll kick ma' ass in fucking seconds”. He grumbles sitting over his bed, rubbing his face with both hands.

You two met at the hospital some week ago, when he suffered some kind of accident that left him blind in one eye, for some time. He felt his heart pumping because of love for the first time, when he saw you after cleaning his healthy eye. And before that, he was already truly fascinated by the way you had to calm him down using your voice. A sweet and honeyed tone that he could be listening to his whole life. He couldn't help but think how good falling asleep every night hearing you talking would be. It took him almost two weeks to ask you out, but he couldn't feel more happy when you said yes without letting him finish the question. Coco felt strange when he left the hospital after it, experimenting a bunch of sensations stuck in his chest that made him feel better than ever.

Now, his insecurities are coming into the light. Everything he touches ends up destroyed, broken. You are too pure for his shit. You don't deserve to take that risk. Taking off his phone from his pocket, he searches for your number. Gilly and Angel are looking at him intrigued, until they find out what he's going to do. The big one takes the phone off from his hands, while the oldest Reyes holds him to guide him towards the door.

“You're not gonna flake on her, pendejo”. He grunts, pushing him outside his house.

His brothers follow him to the meeting place, watching you sit on a bench waiting for him, after twenty minutes standing up and walking around the big fountain. You look beautiful, dressed with a pair of shorts, a baggy white shirt with the sleeves rolled up on your shoulders and black sneakers. He turns around, trying to run away from your life again, facing his friends.

“I can't”. He just says, with his hands almost sweating. “She's too much for me”.

“She's perfect for you, man!” Gilly rolls his eyes.

“C'mon, Coco, don' be a chicken and get the girl”.

Licking his bottom lip, he just nods in silence, trying to find the perfect words to encourage himself. Turning over his Vans, he starts his way towards you, doubting for some seconds. And he's about to leave when you raise your eyes from your phone. The smile you draw with the corner of your lips gives him a heart attack, knowing that he could die full of happiness right now.

“Hey, I thought you weren't coming”.

Maybe it wasn't the greeting he was expecting and he feels so sorry for having made you wait. Stroking the back of his head, he forces a grin.

“Yeah… I was… 'bout to not comen'”.

Your gesture turning from enthusiasm to disheartening, causes him some bitter shivers inside his chest. He has already fuck up the good vibes between you two, that borned in the hospital. Seeing you nod in silence, shrugging your shoulders, makes him feel out of air; trying to think something to fix it up.

“I really… appreciate that, at least, you came to tell me that this isn't going to happen… It would be… humiliating”. You whisper putting your gaze away from him.

Coco can see the way your lips are trembling, as if you were about to cry, and it's painful. For him, it's painful.

“No, mami, lis—”.

“It's okay, Johnny, you don't have to excuse yourself”. Waving a hand on air, you try to make it easy for him. “I get it”.

He's missing the boat, watching you turning around and focusing your attention on the screen of your phone again. Maybe typing to some friend to pick you up, maybe about to call anyone else. But finally, the orders from his brain move his body to stop you.

“No, wait!” He says somewhat loud, grabbing your left wrist. “I wanna date you. I wanna have a lot of dates with you. This ain't you, mami, but me”.

Looking at his hand confused, you travel his arm until finding his dark and desperate eyes, talking to you in silence. Begging you to listen.

“My life is a shit. A mess... A chaos. I… had this accident with my eye because… of a dogfight with another gang. I didn' wanna lie to you, you know? I think you're smart, and pretty and… you don' deserve a guy like me who is… always in fuckin' trouble and that… used to ride a bike that probably would never ride again, just… with a shitty work on a scrapyard”. Coco is getting more and more nervous because you're not saying a single word back. He gulps with some difficulty, taking a step closer to you. “I ain't a good man, I don' do good things, but… I really wanna date you, mami. I've never been so true in ma' life”.

And he's about to give up with a crappy sensation running his body, when you tangle your finger with the ones that were gripping your arm.

“Maybe you can teach me to drive a bike, so I can ride for you”. You just say, hoping that it's enough for him.

“That sounds good, ma'”. He replies with no hesitation, feeling like for the first time he's having a good opportunity in his life.

Watching you smile again it's like seeing a rainbow after a destructive storm, putting his arm over your shoulders to start a low walk.

“Do you like pizza?” You ask then, raising your head toward his.

“Yeah, 'course”. He answers with an incredulous gesture on his face.

“Okay, do you know a food truck close to the hospital, with red and blues stripes?”

“No”.

“Seriously?” You almost scream, breaking into laughs. “You like pizza and you have never tried it before?”

Coco shakes his head, falling in love a little more after hearing your laughter. That simple gesture has made him feel more happy than ever before.

“You're gonna really, really love it”. You say with emotion, moving a hand on air to highlight your words.

“I'm sure”. He chuckles nodding. “You look pretty convinced”.

And you weren't wrong. Maybe not everybody would think that sitting on an edge of a sidewalk, eating pizza, it's the perfect date. But for him, it's the perfect one. He can ask for anything else that hearing you talk for hours about your hobbies, about what you would like to be in five years, about the things the two of you have in common. And he has never talked this much, either. But it's too easy for him to follow the conversation and flow it into another one, until the night falls over the town.

Coco insists on walking with you back to your home, just to be sure that you come safe. And even if he has had so much fun, he's doubting if you would like to repeat it. Maybe at the end you were just trying to be kind with him, because he seemed so desperate for being with you for a couple hours, to not make him feel bad. And maybe that was the reason why you didn't want him to take you home. But the real reason is that your housemates are waiting on the porch for you to tell them how it was. As soon as they see you coming closer, they run into the house ashamed and laughing, making your cheeks burn when Coco notices what is going on.

“Sorry, they're like children…” You say hastily, stopping your steps and placing yourself in front of him.

“It's okay, ma'. My… friends are waiting too”.

Between the two of you gets installed an uncomfortable silence for some seconds, until he sees you holding your bag, looking for something inside it. He breaks into loud laughs when his healthy eyes focus on the heart shaped lollipop, that you're offering him.

“I heard you the day you visited the hospital, so… there's your reward for being a good boy”.

Coco takes it, shaking his head and showing you a funny smile, before catching you between his arms. Embracing you tightly, he places a kiss on your cheek. A lovely one. Pulling himself away, he opens the candy to tuck it into his mouth.

“The best one”. He says tasting the strawberry flavor of it.

“Okay, ah… I have three kids to take care of”. You joke about your friends, pointing at your house for a second. “I had so much fun today…”

“Yeah, me too… We can repe—”.

“I'm free tomorrow”.

Hearing you interrupt him, after realizing that he wants to have another date with you. Taking off the lollipop from his mouth, he leans forward to press your lips with his, shortening the distance between both. Feeling your fingers getting tangled in his shirt give him some pleasant chills, ending up pecking your lips gently.

“What about breakfast? I know a place with the best pancakes”. He proposes then, giving you an eskimo kiss.

“I like it”. You nod, kissing his lips a last time.

“Pick you up at ten?”

“Pick me up at ten”.

“Have a good night, mami”.

“You too, pirate”. Puckering your lips, he laughs again. “Enjoy it, you're gonna see again in a couple months”.

He frowns a little confused, drawing slowly a huge smile on his lips.

“Spoiler of your next doctor appointment”.

“Is tha' why you told me tha' I could teach you?”

Walking backwards to your house, he sees you happily nodding.

“'Am gonna marry you one day, you know'et?”

These words may have been somewhat precipitate, or at least that's what he's thinking until seeing you nod again.

“I hope it”.

“Shit”, he thinks to himself, licking again the lollipop; not leaving your hood until you're inside your house.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #johnny coco cruz x reader #johnny coco cruz imagine #coco cruz imagine #coco cruz x reader #coco cruz

[hot-wiings]

Leave An Ask Or Comment To Be Added To A Specific Characters Taglist.

Requested By: Wattpad User

Edited: 8-17-2020

You laid on your stomach across Ochako Uraraka's bed. Spotify's 'Top One Hundred Pops' playlist could be heard in the background, but your best friend and you didn't care much for Timberlake's voice as you skimmed through magazines together. 

You stopped flipping pages and closed your magazine before tossing it next to you on the bed. Your attention was now turned to Ochako who simply stared down at her magazine. You noticed she hadn't really been flipping her pages or really participating in conversation like she usually would. 

“Is something bothering you Ochako?”

With a hefty groan, your best friend closed her magazine and tossed it next to her. She had a slight frown on her face as she turned to you. Her eyes were glossy and her smile was gone, she looked and acted nothing like the girl you'd grown to know and call your best friend. 

“[Y/N], have you ever been on love?"

A blush spread across your face as you thought of the boy who held your heart. The boy who held your heart, soul, and entire reason for being. Izuku Midoriya, your secret boyfriend, the man who held your affection. Not that you'd ever told him truly how deep your love for him ran.

"Yes, I have."

"There's this guy and I think... I think I'm in love with him.”

“Ochako... If you really think you feel this way about him, then you should tell him.” 

You had pulled yourself up from your lying position to a cross-legged sitting position next to Ochako. She sat in front of you with her arms crossed, hugging herself. She looked so troubled. So sad. 

“I... I want to, but lately, he's been spending less time with me, and more time with this other girl. I'm worried he might have caught feelings for her."

You reached out and pulled Ochako's hands into yours. You squeezed them as a way of comfort. 

“Ochako... If you really feel this way then you should tell him. You should tell him before it's too late.”

“You're right, [Y/N]. Thanks for the advice, you're like the big sister I never had.”

Ochako wrapped her arm around you tightly and pulled away with a smile on her face. A smile you hadn't seen in weeks. She looked more like the Ochako you knew. 

“I'm gonna tell Midoriya how I feel!”

Suddenly it was like a weight came down on your chest. Midoriya? Your Midoriya? Love of your life Midoriya? How could you have missed the signs? He was hanging out more with you, less with her. The way she tried so hard to get his attention. How could you have missed the obvious signs?

Suddenly you hated the fact you and Izuku kept your relationship secret. At first, it was so your classmates couldn't make a big deal about it, as time went on with your dad being All Might it just made more sense to help preserve Izuku's secret of being Toshinori's successor, but then the secrecy made it feel more romantic.

"You like Izuku?"

Your heart swelled as Ochako flopped back on the bed with an ever-growing smile.

"How couldn't I? He's sweet and nice. He's caring and he inspires me to be a better hero."

You bit your lip as you thought of what to say to your best friend. What could you say? 'I'm Sorry, I'm already dating him'? How could you hurt her like that when she's been nothing but a friend? How could you hurt her like that when she feels your like a sister to her? You couldn't.

The more you thought of Ochako and your boyfriend the worse your bad thoughts swirled. You'd never amount to great title your father left and the expectations people expected of you. Izuku would grow to fulfill your father's title, he would be a real hero. But what of you? You would grow to be an undercover hero like Eraserhead. But Ochako? She would look great at Izuku's side. She would be someone he could fight with side by side. She would be someone worth being with Izuku.

She would suit Izuku much better than you. They would be perfect together, better than you could be.

"Ochako, I have to go now. I hope it works out for you though!"

Quickly you got up off her bed and grabbed your bag before bolting out the door. Once you were away from your best friend and alone in the halls you slid your phone out of your pocket.

[Y/N]: Izuku... I think we should stop seeing each other. [Sent: 8:17 pm]

You don't even watch the little read sign pop-up. You don't watch Izuku's chat bubbles pop and go away. You just slide your phone back in your pocket and let the tears slide down your face.

You couldn't help but watch them as they ate lunch together. You were tables away from them, Ochako took this as you giving her and Izuku time to be alone together, really you were giving each other distance from the breakup.

You couldn't help but watch them as they ate lunch together. It had only been a couple of months, but it appeared a lot could happen in three months. As Ochako sat close to Izuku it felt wrong. As Izuku laughed at her jokes you felt sick. As Ochako leaned her head against Izuku you felt utterly disgusted.

Breaking up with Izuku was the worst mistake you ever made, but how could you not? If you hadn't Ochako would've been hurt. It was the worst mistake, but they were so happy and perfect together. They were like two halves of a whole.

They were two halves of a whole yet you couldn't help but stare at them. You couldn't help this jealous feeling from taking over as you hung out with Ochako. You couldn't help this wanting urge that overcame you every time you and Izuku passed in the halls. You couldn't help that he always crossed your mind. You couldn't help that seeing them together crushed your soul.

You couldn't help these feelings, yet you were the one who pushed him away from you and into the arms of your best friend.

Abruptly the chair next to you was pulled out and Katsuki Bakugo plopped his butt down next to you. Compared to yours, his lunch looked like a five-course meal. Of course, watching Izuku with Ochako really took away any appetite you had in you.

"Hi."

You smiled over at the blonde boy. Ever since you stopped sitting with Izuku, Katsuki had been hanging about with you. Contrary to what most of your class would say, Katsuki could be nice. His generosity came in his own rough way, still, he was a true friend to you.

"Stare at that shit-munches any longer and you'll burn a hole on his head."

"I wasn't staring."

Your words tumbled out quickly and fast. You didn't want anybody thinking you were crushing on Ochako's new boyfriend, not when they weren't privy to the information that said new boyfriend was your ex.

"Do you even realize how fuckin' obvious you make it? You're crushing on the damn nerd!"

"Shut up Katsu! You don't understand."

You pushed your lunch away from you and crossed your arms. You felt sick just having this conversation. You felt repulsed, and you knew the food would have a hard time going down.

Katsuki pushed your food back in front of you and crossed his own arms.

"So eat and explain it to me."

'I'm not hungry."

"Don't be fucking stupid. Not eating just because you're upset is gonna make you feel sick."

The sight of Ochako out of the side of your eye all over Izuku hurt and disgusted you. It repulsed and aggravated you. You didn't want to eat, yet, the look on Katsuki's face as he insisted you ate made you feel indifferent.

He cared for you, he was trying to be a good friend. For the sake of Katsuki, you pick up your fork and scoop some food in your mouth.

"I can't really explain it- I and Izuku dated before he and Ochako got together."

"Did the fucker break your heart?"

Despite Katsuki's gruff voice and colorful language, he still spoke quiet and kind towards you. Although, you could detect some disdain for Izuku in his voice.

"No, I ended it... I thought... I thought he could do better."

Katsuki doesn't say anything and you were sure you either upset him by talking about his enemy, or bored him to death by talking about your feelings. That was what you thought until you felt his warm fingers snap against your forehead.

"Ow."

He flicked you right out of nowhere.

"You're a fucking Idiot. If anyone could do better it's you. Deku was lucky he even had you, he never shoulda' let you go."

As the school bell rang Katsuki put his lunch container in his bag and walked away. He didn't head in the direction of class like everyone else. No, he was making a beeline for that shitty nerd, Deku.

The hard truth is you and Katsuki were a lot alike. You were both willing to suffer if it meant the one you truly loved was happy and thriving.

You sat on your bed, laptop, notebook, and homework books strewn across your lap. It looked messy, but not as messy as the rest of your room. You had dishes on the counter and clothes scattered in piles. It was messy like your life. You had kind of let it go to shit after you broke up with Izuku.

A quick, brisk knock on your door could be heard. You groaned as you pushed your work materials off of you to answer it. You hoped it wasn't your teachers, with such a messy room that would be embarrassing. Mostly you prayed it wasn't Ochako.

You unlatched the hook, twisted the knob and pulled the door open. You didn't know who you expected. Your teachers maybe, perhaps Katsuki. You didn't know who you expected, but you didn't expect to see him.

Izuku, with his messy green hair, looked like a mess. He was out of breath and it looked like his eye was purple and swelling. You wanted to pull him into a hug. You wanted to check out his eye and clean it up. You couldn't, that was Ochakos job.

He wasn't yours. Not anymore.

"Hey... What are you doing here?"

"I've been such an idiot."

You hugged yourself and leaned against the door frame as to not give away how nervous and timid you felt with him being here.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about us! I should've fought for us and I didn't. I thought you needed space. I tried giving you space but it didn't help. It just pushed us away from each other."

"Zu' it doesn't matter. We're just not right for each other."

Izuku walked closer to you and you hugged yourself tighter. You had to be strong, you had to push him away. You had to, but as he placed his hands on your shoulders you felt your distance fall.

"We are right for each other. We were perfect for each other."

"No, we're not!"

"Yes, we are! Kacchan told me everything. I thought you needed space, what you really needed was reassurance."

You turned around from him and walked further into your dorm. Why couldn't he let this go? He could be so much happier with her.

"You needed reassurance and I didn't give that to you. I didn't fight. I didn't try. I just need you to know that Ochako will never be it for me. She will never be the girl I want to tell all my secrets too. She will never be the girl I think about late at night. She will never be the girl I love. She will never be you."

"She's so pretty, nice, and thoughtful. Why don't you want her? My skills, my looks? Just mediocre. Mineta doesn't even look at me, and he would look at trash if it had a vagina. I'm just All Might's daughter. I'm not special in any other way-"

While Izuku could admit fault for not being there for you, for not noticing how insecure you'd become in your relationship, he would never admit to or apologize for threatening Mineta into never looking at you.

"Don't you dare say that! You have never been All Might's daughter to me. You have always been [Hero Name]. You prove every day that you are more of a hero than anyone here. Your special, brilliant, and beautiful. I'm in love with you."

Izuku pulled you into his arms for the first time in three months. The emotions inside you broke and you allowed yourself to let out everything that had been bothering you. Everything that had been making you insecure.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I'm here now, and I'm never leaving you."

As Izuku held you in his arms it felt right. It wasn't Izuku and Ochako. It was Izuku and you.

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku x uraraka ochako #bnha izuku x reader #mha izuku x reader #mha midoriya x reader #bnha midoriya x reader #bnha izuku midoriya x reader #bnha midoriya izuku x reader #mha midoriya izuku x reader #mha izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #bnha deku x reader #mha deku x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #ochako x izuku #dekuchako

[deliverydefresas]

moving step by step (together)

second and last thing i posted on wp that i haven't posted here ((i think)) feel free to ignore if you've read this on wattpad already, as i'm just posting it in case i need to refer to it later.

(not proofread. it never is)

prompt(?): domestic!simbar deciding to move in together (toanothercountry)

When her day began, she didn't imagine it'd end up the way it did. In fact, to Ámbar the day felt like an endless nightmare.

Between her washing machine breaking, one of her kitchen cloths accidentally catching on fire when she was making her breakfast, her car not starting and thus being late to her first class, forgetting an important paper at home and losing 1/5 of her grade for one of the toughest classes in her semester; Ámbar just wanted to call it a day and forget she even had to endure it.

"The professor told me he'd let me turn it the paper, as long as I added 10,000 words more; and hear this: he won't give me the 20% of the grade, but a 15%, tops." She still needed to get her laundry done, so she'd opted to come by Simón's loft (and Nico and Pedro's too) when her classes had ended. While she waited for it to be done, she'd grabbed a glass of wine while venting her boyfriend's ears off. "So now I need to find something to write about that's worth 1000 words of coherency, otherwise I'll be lucky to even have a 10%. And God knows I need it."

Simón kissed her head sympathetically, adjusting her head - previously leaning on his shoulder- a little bit closer to his neck. "You will, little gem. You're the smartest one in your class, I'm sure you'll find something and, it's penultimate semester, you can do it."

She groaned, "I wish it were as easy as that." He kissed her cheek this time, and she snuggled into him a bit more, needing his support to make her feel less stressed. "Enough of me, how was your day?"

He chuckled, "not as interesting as yours, I'm afraid. Did a little songwriting, had a video-call with a magazine, changed my sheets..." he winked at her, making her laugh.

"Aw, do you want me to give you a gold start? Maybe I should call your mom, tell her her little boy is a nice young man who makes his own bed." Simón leaned in to bite her cheek, causing her to and almost spill her wine all over the couch, and to prevent this, the red liquid ended up on her shirt. Technically, it was one of his, since today's clothes had been thrown in the washer with the rest of the laundry, but still, spilling wine on her clothes wasn't nice. "Simón!" she scoffed him, which only made him laugh at her. He told her to grab another of his old shirts, while he refilled her glass.

She stood up then, cursing him all the way to his room to grab one of the 'pajama' shirts he kept in his top drawer. Ámbar heard him call to her once she had put it on; "hey, is tacos okay with you for dinner? Or do you want me to order you something else?"

"What are the guys having?" she questioned, to prepare herself in case the others ordered less than what their stomachs wanted to eat, and later lead them to steal her food.

"Pedro's staying at Delfi's and Nico is out with his fling, so nothing." Simón answered her, entering his room with his cellphone at hand.

"Then the usual." She told him simply, her boyfriend nodded. "Hey, can I use your laptop to check my e-mail? My phone died."

Simón nodded again. "Sure. Hello? I would like to order two pastor gringas..." he left the room again, not before pointing at his desk, where his laptop was sitting on. She quickly turned it on, taking it to the living room to wait for Simón to finish the call.

Her boyfriend was one of those people who didn't put a password on the device itself, but on the archives in it (which were mostly lyrics, tracks, and unreleased songs), so it didn't take long until she had the browser opened.

Ámbar tried to ignore whatever Simón had open in his last tab, but the images displayed caught her attention.

No, it wasn't porn, nor was it anything compromising. At least not in that way.

Her boyfriend had a Real Estate website open, showing apartments in sale. However, that wasn't what surprised her – he'd talked about finding his own place before-, but that all the options listed Mexico City as their location.

He'd never mentioned moving back to Mexico. They'd planned vacations to his hometown Cancún, sure, but somehow in all their talks about the future she'd had assumed their plans took place in Buenos Aires, close to her family instead of his. She could deal with him going on tour for weeks – she didn't bear months as well as she did weeks, and for this he always flew her in- but to live in two different countries? How was their relationship supposed to work in that scenario? Would it even work out? Sure, she was almost over with her degree, but-

"Little gem," her eyes snapped from the screen to where Simón was standing, by the kitchen's door, "I ordered you an almond horchata, is that okay?" she kept staring at him. "What? Is my laptop giving you problems? Your mail?"

She sighed. "No, I actually haven't opened my mail yet." He gave her a confused look.

"Then what's it? You've been staring at the screen for at least two minutes."

"When were you planning on telling me you're moving to Mexico?"

His mouth shut, his eyes showed surprise and an underlying regret. "Uh... soon?"

"So it's true, then? You're moving there?" Ámbar didn't want her voice to sound as hurt as it did, but she couldn't conceal it, either. After all, this was her boyfriend, the guy she was in love with, and who she'd loved for years now... to imagine him living so far away from her, it hurt her deeply.

To find out like this, instead of from his own mouth, was like salt to the wound. Her already shitty day was turning for the worse.

Simón sighed, his demeanor showing he was ashamed of it. "It's an option." He pursed his lips slightly, walking over to the couch, taking the device off her lap to turn her body towards him. "I was planning on talking to you about this sooner than later, I promise."

"When? When you had already bought it? Or when I had to say goodbye at the airport?" she couldn't help but dab at him, her temper was talking for her right then, "and what do you mean with 'it's an option'? You're looking for a place already, surely it's more than simple 'option'."

Simón let out a sigh, a sign he wasn't sure how to explain it to her, "I- have you noticed how most of our label meetings have been taking place in México?" She nodded, it was hard not to. The boys and him didn't really leave the city unless they absolutely had to, which could be summed up in three reasons: touring, vacations, and meetings. She'd always frown a little when those meetings took place, because she couldn't really understand why they had to leave when their label had offices in BsAs, but never really dared to ask Simón, afraid she'd come out as clingy for not wanting him to leave her for a couple days.

"I just assumed all the 'important' people chose to meet there instead of flying down here."

He scratched his nape. "It's a little bigger than that. Their HQ has always been up there, and their offices here have worked on a smaller scale for years; however, they've wanted all their more... 'recognizable' artists to be closer for a while now."

"So, they're making you move there?"

"Yes and no. They've been nagging us since the beginning to move to Mexico City, but it's only now we've – well, I've- considered it as an option."

"Why? Don't Pedro and Nico want, too?"

Simón grimaced. "They've already been considering it for a couple of years." Oh. Now that she thought about it, Delfina had hinted multiple times over the months 'the possibility' of working in another country. She'd always assumed she meant taking international jobs for a short period while Pedro was out on tour too, but now she guessed she'd meant for her to imagine that possibility, too.

It seemed like she'd assumed lots of things, and it stung to know she'd been in the dark far longer than everyone else. Even Delfi – who'd been dating Pedro a considerably less time than she'd been with Simón- knew of this before her.

Which made her ask him once again. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because you're still in uni, little gem, and I didn't want to move somewhere else while you were here; I still don't. I had a plan, honestly; I was going to wait until you neared graduation to slowly get you used to the idea, and, well, I also wanted to wait in case we didn't work out." She pursed her lips as she was still mad, but knew he had a point. He always did.

"You could've talked to me sooner, though. We could've planned this way sooner, make it easier for both." Ámbar sighed out, trying to get her anger out with it.

"I know, I get it now, and I'm very sorry." He apologized sincerely, grabbing one of her hands to kiss it. "This in no way is me telling you I'm moving tomorrow and leaving you here, little gem, I'd never do that. Hell, I don't even think I could. It's just..."

"An option." She finished for him, sighing again. "I guess I- I don't know, maybe I could start looking at internships in CDMX? When- when would this take place anyway? And I have to talk to my mo-" her eyes widened, "God, my mom! What do I tell her if we go? She'll be all alone here!" Her voice sounded panicky even to her.

"Hey, it's okay, there's no hurry. We've already postponed this for years with the boys, another year or so won't change anything, in fact, we'll need all we can get to get papers and stuff in check. And your mom can always come with us if you're worried about her, no biggie." He told her, as if the three of them moving countries wasn't a big deal, or, y'know, extremely expensive.

"Do you seriously want my mom living with us, Simón?" she snapped at him, and immediately felt bad to do so. He was just trying to help her and then here she was, bitching on his offers. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just... overwhelmed, sorry." He shrugged it off.

"I was actually thinking of you two getting your own apartment but since you're oh so kindly offering to live together..." Her eyes widened once more, shocked. She hadn't realized she'd implied that. "... I guess we can either buy or rent one for ourselves and rent another for your mom."

"That's not what- I mean it's not necessary. An apartment for my mom and I would be okay if she even agrees to move."

Her boyfriend started pouting. "Are you saying you don't want to move in with me?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean-" she stopped talking once she saw a teasing grin on his face. "You're messing with me."

He shook his head, silently laughing as he reached out to sit her on his lap, hugging her waist tightly. "I'm not. I'm actually happy you asked me to move with you, so I don't have to when the time comes."

"I didn't ask you." She felt the need to point it out. "You just assumed I did."

"Because you assumed we'd live together. It's okay; if it were up to me I'd be living with you in a heartbeat, I've thought about it for a while."

She gulped. "You have?"

"Yeah, but since I'm living with two dudes and you're living with your mom... it just isn't viable." That got her thinking.

"Why haven't you gotten your own apartment yet? Any of you?"

Simón shrugged, leaning into their coffee table to grab their glasses. "Rent is cheaper when you divide into three, and all of us have been saving up to get our own pads for when we moved to CDMX."

"It was never a matter of 'if', was it? It was always a 'when' you moved." She already knew the answer, of course, so she didn't wait for him to answer. "What took you so long to do so? I'm sure you could've done so years ago, and now you're waiting for Delfi and I, I guess, but before? What held you back?"

He pondered it for a minute, didn't speak immediately. "Something always came up. At first, we didn't have enough money saved, then Nico's mom had an accident, Pedro wanting to stay until his little sister finished high school... then you. My guess is the universe was waiting for us to meet to let me leave the city." She couldn't help but laugh at this.

"You're such a corny guy."

"Only for you, little gem, only for you." Ámbar took a sip of her wine before snuggling closer to his chest, earning her a kiss on her hair. "So, are we doing this?"

She pushed the anxiety of the unknown to the back of her mind, she knew that if she overthought about it she'd find reasons not to. Instead, she took a deep breath, intoxicating herself with the smell of soap and lotion that lingered on her boyfriend all the time.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but we're doing this together."

"Together," he repeated, giving her hand another kiss. "I like the sound of that."

#soy luna #simbar #simón álvarez #ámbar smith #my simbar ff #my sl ff #mine

[fangbangerrrr]

I can't help but stare in awe for a few seconds. Blasty's yelled at me so many times for using 'shitty' pickup lines, saying how they'll never work and nobody likes 'em. But now I know that he's completely wrong!

I break out into the absolute biggest grin and my face is going to start hurting if it stays but it doesn't matter since I can't keep my delighted laughter from bursting out!

"Are you a guardian angel because I'm pretty sure you're heaven sent," slips out almost instinctively. I suddenly feel the need to get closer and barely realize that I've shifted slightly toward you.

I've noticed you around, how could I not notice someone so divine, but it was always after I made an idiot of myself. There was that time I thought I was going to die at Bakubro's birthday bash when Sero dared me to eat that spoonful of ghost pepper hot sauce; and Jiro's party I had a few too many and fell off the drink table I'd been dancing on, knocking it over, making it rain alcohol all over everyone; and then a couple weeks later when I wasn't watching where I was going and face planted after tripping over that construction cone; even when I climbed a tree to get someone's cat down only to realize that he could and did get down while I ended up being the one who had to get rescued.  That's only to name a few!

Even after all that you're still giving me the time of day, maybe even showing interest!? I can hardly believe my luck, I figured I'd lost my chance with you after all that! I'd thought about trying to flirt with you before now, but I couldn't handle the rejection that would follow, like so many times before. Not from you, anyone but you.

I wouldn't want to risk scaring you off, but someone so sweet, almost shyly watching my antics from the sideline, giggling behind your hand, but always after you knew that only my pride had taken the injury. You're dream girl material and way out of my league. Yet here you are and I promise myself I won't waste a second of attention you gift me! ⚡

Your smile and laughter is infectious as always, and I cover my mouth as I laugh along with you. Did you know how attractive you were? Especially when you smile so genuinely, it makes my heart flutter, a thousand butterflies swimming in my belly.

I try not to let you getting closer fluster me more than I already am. I try not to get absorbed in the citrine of your eyes, the softness of your hair, the prettiness of your face. Instead, "That was pretty good, seems like you're currently at the top of your game!"

God please don't think another electricity pun is stupid... while you're thinking of all the ways you've embarrassed yourself, I'm thinking of all the ways you've been so cool, so heroic, so sweet and funny. Even if you haven't noticed me watching, I always find myself laughing quietly at your jokes, I love your dumb pick-up lines and stupid puns.

The time you interned with The Lurkers and neutralized that electric villain; how well you always work with others, how you try to come up with strategies that include everyone. The few times I've gotten to see you play your electric guitar, I was stunned and in awe. You looked so cool, so handsome getting lost in the music. And you say you aren't good at anything, but I've seen your doodles, the sketches on napkins discarded or in the margins of scrap paper.

And during the paranormal liberation war, you were so brave, so strong. And every time since then. I've always focused more on those things than the others, even when our peers seemed to only make fun of you or yell at you. In my eyes, you are incredible, and I've been too shy and scared to really talk to you before now.

Which is dumb, because everyone flocks to you, even if they make fun of you, people like you. And I hope that now I've gotten the chance to talk to you, for real this time, I don't make it awkward or scare you away.

My quirk isn't impressive, not in the slightest, and I've always felt inadequate beside...well... everyone. A quirk which allows me to heal through physical touch, but unlike Recovery Girl's, it drains energy from myself instead. Useful but only kind of, just like me.

The way you're looking at me, though, so close and beaming, is enough to make me forget all of that insecurity. In this moment I'm elated to be here with you, that you finally noticed me, and the world melts away so that there's just the two of us.

#darling denki <3 #this was so fucking cute oh ny GOD #mod you play him so well #i love him so much and I appreciate you so much #literally made my whole day better

[obeymematches]

Hewwo when you have the time can I pwease get a matchup uwu

He/him-entp

Personality: I'm loud and outgoing, its easy for me to make friends with people and I love meeting new people. I've been told I'm good at forging bonds and bringing people together. People call me brave, I think I'm really just stupid reckless and careless which IS true but hey I'm not complainin if ppl wanna call that brave. I'm willing to put myself in danger to help others too, this uh. Isnt smart, I'm not smart. But if the people I care for are safe and happy then I dont mind what happens to me B) I'm also great with animals, I dont like taking things too seriously and often make (bad) jokes in tense situations. That being said I know when to stop if it's a genuinely serious situation.

That being said my worst traits are that I'm arrogant, sadistic, stubborn, lowkey hotheaded, untrusting to a debilitating degree, I can come across as genuinely scary unfortunately:( and I'm clumsy

My interests and hobbies are: true crime, the occult, drawing I guess, taking care of animals and helping lost pets find their homes, taking naps, dream interpretation, causing misery for my shitty father, binging horror stuff and crying over video games

What I look for in a partner is kindness, someone I can relate to? I dunno as long as they arent genuinely mean.

What I have to offer is uh. Ok be patient with me! I dont know relationships very well so if this is worded weird sorry.

Anyway I just want to be there for someone, i want to be able to protect someone and make them smile, nothing ever makes my day more than seeing someones face light up ! If anyone hurts them I'm gonna hurt that person twice as bad, and if they dont want me to I'll just be with them and do everything in my power to make sure they're ok. I want them to feel safe with me and know that I love them for THEM and not some facade or anything too. If they wanna go somewhere I wanna take them there! I want to listen to them talk about their favourite thing for hours on end, I would do anything and everything in my power for that person. Ok that's a lie if they wanted me to hurt an animal I wouldnt do that but I'd take on like. A spider for them.

Anyway thanks for your time sorry if this was too much, if you ever need anything else I'll call myself -💥 anon so just give me a yell and I'll do my best to help

Hi anon! ✨

I’ll put a read more because this is gonna be long! 

Okay so as I read your request I was hesitating between Mammon and Diavolo but I decided to choose Diavolo because regarding some aspects it would be a real missed opportunity/wasted potential to pick Mammon over him! 

Ok so you start with your talent of forging bonds and if you ever played this game then you know that Diavolo is all about exactly that - meaning you will be a real asset to him which is the base of a strong relationship! (dw i’ll elaborate on why he is also an asset to you in the following paragraphs you are not about to be left hanging) 

The fact that you are so friendly instantly catches his attention. I’m talking the moment he sees you kind of infatuation here. idk he just. senses it from a mile away that you are quality

I imagine your reckless tendencies get you into some serious situations which might also be dangerous. But worry no more, my friend! Diavolo would be the kind of partner who joins you in your fun and he might out-do you in such occassions but just keep this in mind: he is a powerful and strong demon so if anyone can get you out of trouble / keep you safe on a not-totally-thought-over adventure, it’s gotta be him. No other candidate in the game could compare and give you this balance. 

Also he is very keen on sponaneity (as much as his schedule can allow him) so you got that going for you too! 

Okay so since you want to keep him safe too, this relationship is just two ppl who protecc except you can also attacc 

come to think of that, I’m not sure if he would really encourage that and the “if someone hurts them i hurt them twice as much” behaviour as he is just a prince who wants peace with everyone. but growing together is fun! 

I can totally see you two joking around all the time, lowkey driving Barbatos close to insanity in the castle, but! that means you also have a friendship with Diavolo! so he is not just your lover or partner but also your best friend who you can joke around with or be with through serious situations. this relationship isn’t just about being in a relationship but actually making the most of what a healthy relationship can offer

Now i think Diavolo can handle your sarcastic and arrogant side of you pretty well. looking at his bond with Lucifer I’m pretty sure he would have no issues with it

Being stubborn isn’t always bad - as long as he knows your intentions mean well there’s nothing wrong. Clumsy shouldn’t be a turn off either as long as you don’t mind him laughing it off

I think he is also rather selective about trusting others - he might complain about being lonely but deep down he knows he can’t just trust anyone. 

Don’t worry, you definitely never come accross as scary to him. Even if you try hard. 

OK so if i didn’t only dream it then he keeps rescued animals (cats) in the castle so this is something you two could bond over and this would also help in building trust! 

Something else to bond over is your shitty fathers. I’m almost sure Diavolo’s insecurities stem from that and that’s why he and Lucifer are such close friends. You are part of that club now! 

He is one of the candidates who does his best to indulge in his s/o’s hobbies, though as I said his time is rather limited. I don’t think he would have any excuses for not liking horror stuff, video games, etc.

ok i’m pretty sure i already elaborated on how you two can relate to each other, in addition i want to emphasize that he is one of the kindest characters in the game as of now so he has that going for him 

From what I can tell from your offerings in a relationship, it is safe to say that you are more than willing to be there for him when he is going though insecure periods of his day/week/month/year so that is something he can appreciate. The fact that you mention loving someone for them and not for their facade speaks volumes in his case - he had to turn down many marriage proposals in order to protect himself and his future kingdom. I think it goes without saying why some people would marry him without actually knowing him. 🤴🤑

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me diavolo #obey me matchup #om! diavolo #obey me shall we date

[cosmicbash]

Hey, So I'm having a bad week and would really like an outed Kells and Em fic, it could be as angsty or fluffy as you want, I just need a happy ending. A little joy from a situation like that would be really nice right now, Thanks P.S. I've been reading your writing for a while and I think they're really great!! I hope you keep having Inspiration to do so!!!

Sorry I'm so late replying to this!! Ive had a shitty busy week myself and i feel horrible its taken me so long!!

I feel like instagram would be Em and Kelly's downfall. Just because the younger rapper is constantly on it, posting little snippets to interact with his fans, going Live, and of course posting pictures.

Slip ups are inevitable once he and Marshall start spending more and more time together.

Because Colson can't just cut back, when he does that fans start speculating. Questioning why exactly he's suddenly getting more secretive or searching through what he does share with a fine tooth comb to spot a new mystery girlfriend.

So Colson continues posting away on instagram and filming his lives, even when he and Marshall are together. Ignoring the headshakes and looks the older rapper shoots his way everytime he's on live laughing it up.

At first it's awkward, Marshall and him keep alternating who's going to duck into the bathroom or step out for coffee. But eventually they get used to it and comfortable enough that Colson can walk around their hotel room filming while Marshall naps on the couch.

The blonde even gets cheeky enough to start teasing his partner, like snapping photos of their shared brunches, or taking after sex selfies that always get Marshall hiding under the blankets or kicking him.

Really Colson should have seen it coming. You can only fly so close to the sun before you get burned afterall.

The mistakes start piling up soon enough.

Marshall accidentally yelling to ask him something when he's recording a live, Colson walking a bit too close to the couch and flashing the hoodie clad rappers back, the bottom of Marshall's AA necklace in the back of a breakfast shot, and more minor incidents that branch out from there.

At first Colson can just brush the unfamilar voice and thankfully covered up body as one of his assitants or friends. But as soon as that necklace peek gets out the internet does its thing and speculation over a possible collab strikes up.

The assumption being he gave everyone the glimpse on purpose.

Of course he's relieved the public isn't immediately jumping to the crazy possibility of them banging. Even though thats exactly what theyre doing. But him and Marshall AREN'T actually making any music together, and neither of them has publicly squashed their beef. Afterall, what better cover than pretending to still hate eachother?

But now that's all out the window. Colson's lack of an immediate excuse and rapid deletion of the photo just convincing the media their theories are correct.

Paul is of course furious, reaming both of them out over the phone about how they better get on a track together or figure out some new cover. And Diddy, well Diddy rarely comes off his self made throne to speak to Colson, let alone acknowledge most of his success, but the rapper actually does inquire to him about the whole spectacle. And Colson can't help but find himself wishing he had a guy like Paul who knew about them and could just simply yell at him because he still has no idea what to even say.

They settle on quiet ambiguous statements from their labels about how the two of them are working towards mending their beef and that a collaboration isn't exactly out of the question at this moment.

It works. For about a month or two, mostly due to them being apart yet again. The major hype dies down and Colson avoids any and all questions relating to Marshall in his lives and on twitter. The two of them are able to breathe a sigh of relief as temporary as it may be.

Until the next time they make time to see eachother. Colson's got a small charity event in Detroit that he plans on using as an excuse to linger around the city and steal some much needed time with his secret boyfriend.

Of course all eyes are on them yet again, questioning whether the young rapper might also be stopping in to work in some music with his rival.

With paparazzi tailing him more than ever it's impossible for him to just go to Marshall's place like he'd planned. Instead forcing him into renting a suite and wasting most of the day stressing over just how the hell he's supposed to sneak Marshall in with the bastards sitting outside the building like hawks. The other rapper isn't exactly helping either, just sending his usual cryptic texts telling Colson not worry about it but never expanding on what his plan is either.

By the time the blonde finally finishes his busy day and drags himself back to the room he has fully accepted that their rendezvous is not going to happen. Marshall had stopped texting him more than two hours ago and he wasn't about to act even more like a spoiled child by blowing the man's phone up. Colson's just given up. He can't even muster the energy to give the paparazzi outside his hotel more then an annoyed comment about how his life doesn't revolve around collaborations and the finger before slipping inside.

Marshall's presence in his hotel room, already stripped down to his night tee and briefs almost looks like a mirage. But when he shuts the door and crosses the room to bury his face in the other man's neck he smells like ivory soap and that woodsy beard oil the blonde bought him and Colson can't help but hug him closer.

He's so relieved to see him he doesn't even snark back at Marshall's muffled comment that he looks like shit.

The moment is sweet and Colson honestly should have realized it was just the calm before the storm but he's too caught up in complaining about the media and basking in his partner's soft agreements to care.

Before taking off to take his shower he hands Marshall over his phone, suggesting the brunette look through the mess his instragram comment section has become, all the questions and posts he's been tagged in over that little picture and their statements. Because why not? They would inevitably end up laying against eachother in bed scrolling through them all together anyway, at least this way Marshall can get a headstart.

And Marshall does actually swipe through them for a bit, spending more time admiring some of his partners pretty posts than he does reading the never ending stream of comments. The rapper rarely gets on the app himself except to post the occasional merch drop and promo. Social media isn't his forte, and it's not like he could follow Colson's account anyway. Navigating the app and searching for his boyfriends account was too much work when he could just asks for selfies over text.

Thats why when Marshall finishes his browsing and begins backing out of a post back to Colson's homepage he doesn't even care to pay much attention to what he's tapping. The flash of black and loading wheel that lights up the screen completely missed when he tosses it across the bed in lieu of playing around on his own phone.

The livestream he accidentally starts mainly films a blank ceiling through the rest of Colson's shower. The occasional creak and shift on the bed from Marshall's weight and blare of music from his own phones speakers all anyone tuning in can hear.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon for fans to realize the Live has been started unknowingly, but thats not going to stop any of them from filing in.

Maybe if Colson hadn't set his phone to silent the string of text messages might have alerted Marshall to his mistake. But the older rapper relaxes back on the bed less than a foot away blissfully unaware until Colson finally exits the bathroom.

Neither of them notice the phone when Marshall sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed, his body briefly flickering past the frame. They don't see the explosion of comments flying past the screen while they talk and Colson shoves the other man back onto the bed again. Bouncing the phone high enough to almost flip it if fate didn't decide to just scoot it closer to their tangling bodies.

Colson's whole upper body and face is in frame from then on. His cheeks flushed and smile cocky while he straddles his unseen partner. Marshall's fingertips peeking onto the screen where they're tickling the skin covering his ribs.

Its not until after Marshall's sat back up and begun peppering kisses down the front of his throat that he finally catches sight of his half blanket covered phone. An amused accusation about the other rapper trying to sneakily film them prompting Marshall to scoff and reach out for it.

"Probably just the app, shits always opening up to the camera on my phone-"

The rush of comments speeding past the screen and the unmistakeable red dot next to LIVE has Marshall freezing. His wide eyed face fully on screen for 10 seconds before Colson finally pries the phone from his hands to see whats got him so spooked.

Instead of panic, anger is what rushes through Colson's veins. A slew of curses leaving his mouth, before he finally manages to end the live. Phone promptly flying out of his hand against the wall afterwards.

The blonde wants to scream and thrash around. And thats what he does, fingers tearimg at his hair in frustration.

It takes Marshall's fingers softly prying them down for Colson to finally open his eyes again. The utterly terrified look on his partner's face chasing away his residual rage. "Fuck Colson I'm sorry-" its not the first time he's heard Marshall apologize, but it is the first time the man has ever done it while looking so scared of his response.

All the months he'd spent dreaming about his rival making such an expression have nothing on the real thing. And that smug powerful feeling he'd imagined was completely absent now. Just an uncomfortable knot seizing up his chest in it's place.

"I'm not--" his own voice feels tight. Tears threatening to bubble up in his eyes while the reality of the whole situation continues to wash over him. "I'm not mad at you, alright?"

He's mad at the media, at his fans, the rap industry, everything that makes him feel like this little slip up and intimate moment of theirs going viral will ruin their lives.

Colson's sick of hiding who he is and who he's with. Its utter bullshit. Its 2019 for chrissakes, who gives a shit who's banging who? They both make bad ass music either way and liking dick shouldn't change that.

Pushing up off of Marshall, Colson moves to climb off the bed. His hopefully not smashed phone across the room his current focus. But the older rapper snags his wrist and wont let him take more than one step.

And thats when Colson realizes just why Marshall looks so terrified. The man's worried that this is it, that he's going to just leave.

Run away from their problems and abandon the relationship they've been cultivating. Just go full scorched earth.

And that hurts.

So instead the blonde softens his expression and climbs back into bed, onto the other man's lap to hug him tightly. "Fuck Marsh--" He's not about to let the media ruin another relationship. "I love you."

The responding hug is so tight it hurts but Colson doesn't stop. "I fucking love you."

They're falling back onto the bed, legs tangling and Colson's teeth grinding while he rubs his face along the older rapper's shoulder. "I love you"

He doesn't even know what else to say. Now that the words are out it's all his tongue can shape.

"Colson-" Marshall's warm palms are cupping his face, pulling him back so they can stare at eachother

"I love you-" that one hurts the most, maybe because they're eye to eye and just looking at Marshall's soft expression and the possibility of losing it makes him want to crumble. "Please-"

He chokes back a wet sound in the back of his throat before they kiss. Pressing as close as he can, practically trying to glue their mouths together permanently.

Marshall's afraid to lose him just as much. They're idiots for ever thinking it might be a possibilility.

The media can get blown, and so can the industry and their so called fans. The cats out of the bag now and theirs no turning back. If they don't like them together than tough shit. They've both dragged themselves up out of the pits before, this will be no different.

Except, this time they have eachother to lean on.

"I love you to you cornball."

(((Ffffff this sat in my drafts cuz I got distracted by work and life. Im so fucking sorry anon!!!)))

((Also! Thank you anon! For the compliments! Im glad you enjoy my works!))

#emgk #ehhh i dunno where this went #sorry if its not great #been real distracted and busy with work lately #but i hope you can still enjoy it #prompts #asks #i love asks

[dolan-sensations]

SUNLIT SENSATIONS | the first ray of sunlight

how Grayson and Caily met

As bright and nice as it was in Los Angeles that day was definitely not Grayson's day. His own personal sky covered by dark clouds. He's been sitting in front of his  computer for hours, trying to finish editing the last video he and his twin brother filmed. He was almost done when suddenly and for no reason the power went out, ruining all the process he had made during the past hours. As annoyed as he was he did his best trying to fix it and redoing all his work. At this point his back was sore and his stomach was roaring for some food, lunch time had passed a long time ago but it was still too early to have dinner. An avocado toast, you can't go wrong with that no matter what time it is, so he headed to the kitchen to get the breather he well-deserved. But, once again, it was not Grayson's day.

"Yo, E." "Weren't you going to the grocery store today?" The younger twin raised his voice, making sure his brother could hear him from the living room. "Weren't you doing the groceries today?" 

"Holly shit I forgot."

"Ethan." He spetted, clearly annoyed at his twin brother who not only finished all the avocados but he also forgot about doing the grocery and after a short fight, more like a speech from Grayson, on housework and responsabilities, he was heading to the grocery store to get his much needed avocados.

Did I mention today wasn't Grayson's day? Because after driving for almost 20 minutes to the store he found out there were no avocados left. He left out a sight, frustrated, but he was hungry still so he walked through the isles, trying to find something appetizing but also vegan.

Meanwhile in the milk isle there she was, looking up to the top shelf, where the lactose-free milk was sitting. There was just one problem, she couldn't reach it. She thought about climbing the shelf to get it, but she knew how clumsy she was and she was almost certain the whole shelf would fall down. She also thought about jumping until she could reach it, yeah she would look ridiculous but she would get her milk. And she was about to do it, when someone walked  to the milk isle. 

"Excuse me!" She said, trying to get the attention of the boy that was walking in her direction, too busy with his phone in one hand and holding a cereal box in the other. When she glanced at him she felt like time stopped. The guy was handsome to say the least, a real life Disney prince, or the greek God Apollo in bone and flesh, those were the only two ways that came to her mind to describe the boy, probably her age or so, that was standing in front of her. He looked up from his screen, the frown that's been adorning his face for the past few hours disappearing at the sight of her.

He didn't answer, God he probably even forgot how to speak, he could only look at those dark brown eyes that reminded him of his favorite chocolate from when he was a child. Was she even talking to him? No, there was no way, that was not his day, a literal angel was in front of him, that couldn't be real, no. He only got out of his trance state when he heard her voice once again. "Excuse me, can you help me? I can't reach the lactose-free milk." His eyes were not lying to him, she was in fact real.

 "Oh, yeah, of course." He said, already reaching for the milk, looking at the bottle when he had it in his hand. "Lactose-free milk? I've never heard of that, who even buys that?  Have you tried almond? Oat?" He questioned in a funny tone, not trying to be rude or laught at her, no, that was his poor and failed attempt to flirt with the beautiful woman who asked him for help.

But when he turned to the girl, her sweet expression was long forgotten, her dark brows coming together in a frown. Was he really making fun of her and her taste? Grayson's face just dropped, realizing what he just did. He got stunned by her and he tried to be funny and flirty but clearly he fucked up. It just wasn't his day. "I buy THAT. Thank you." She responded with a cold tone before walking away from him, not giving him any chance to explain himself or apologize.

—

It's been almost a week since his little incident at the grocery store, yet he couldn't stop thinking about that girl. It's known that he's the twins that falls in love 7 times per day, but this time? No, this time was different. He only  saw her for like two minutes but her face was already tattooed on his brain. He would be lying if he said he didn't drive himself to that same store every single day hoping to see her again. And that's where he was right now, in the parking lot of that same store, sitting in the passenger seat of Ethan's Tesla ready to leave. 

But then he saw it, fuck, he would recognize that hair anywhere. "Dude, what the f-" Ethan questioned the second his younger twin brother stepped out of the car without saying a word, running towards the car of the girl who was about to leave.

"Hey! Wait, please!" She turned around to see the guy who made fun of her, the fucking greek god she met a few days ago and quite frankly she couldn’t get off of her mind was running to her, so she quickly jumped in her car and Grayson lost all hope for a second, but it quickly came back to him when she didn't close the door, she just sat there, looking at him with an impassive look on her face. 

He got a little intimidated by that, her dark eyes piercing his sou. Was it possible for a stare to be that intense? Apparently yes, but he fucked up once and he was not willing to do it again. "I'm so sorry about the other day. I was just stressed and nothing was going my way and then I saw you looking all kinds of pretty and cute and I tried to be funny because you lit my day and made it so much better by just asking me for help but...fuck. I was a jerk, okay? I know it. It wasn't my intention, but I don't know how to act in front of pretty girls and I-" 

His rambling was suddenly cut off by a laugh, a soft one coming from her lips while she tried to hide her face with her hair. Oh my God did he make her blush? "It's okay, I was a little bit of a bitch too. I'm sorry." Yep, he made her blush. And that was exactly what he needed to boost his confidence.

“So...would you like to-" And once again he was cut off, only this time not by the gorgeous girl in front of him, but by his annoying twin brother who was honking at him. Grayson turn to look at him, and she couldn't help but laugh softly again seeing how frustrated the poor guy was getting. She quickly grabbed her phone and handed it to him, catching his attention. "Here, text you from my phone."

 He took the phone in complete shook, SHE was asking for his number and he froze for another few seconds until he heard another honk, and this time he was kinda thankful for it because it brought him back to reality. So he started typing pretty fast, adding himself to her contacts and then sending a text message to himself, giving back her phone to..."Wait, what's your name?" "Caily, but not like Kylie Jenner, with a C and an A"

"Okay, Caily with a C and an A. Okay." He repeated with the stupidest (and cutest if you ask Caily) grind on his face walking towards his brother's car, who was honking at him for the third time. "Oh and I am-" 

"Grayson" She completed his sentence, reading his name out of her phone screen with a smile. He already loved how his name sounded when it came from her lips. He waved her goodbye and got in Ethan's car with the biggest smile on his face, one that not even his brother could erase with his pettiness.

Suddenly Grayson’s personal sky was not grey anymore, since a tiny ray of sunlight was making its way through the dark clouds, the first of so many.

tags: @justordinaryjen, @ethandolxns & @persistence-ofmemories for the inspo ❤️

it's shitty and cheesy af but that's who i am, sorry

#grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan fluff #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #dolan twins #grayson dolan x reader #grayson dolan x y/n #sunlit sensations #ss!grayson

[langdvnshepherd]

I've been in bit of a slump this week and I just need something to boost my spirit. That being said, I was wondering if you could write something were Duncan or micheal comforts the reader and just makes them feel loved and it's wholesome and cute

Ahh sorry you’re not having the best week lil bug :-( lemme cheer you up real quick! 

I’ve already written something sort of similar to this with Michael (here it is if u wanna read x), so I’ll do Duncan! It’s not long, but I put it under a cut because there’s a ton of dialog so it’s super spaced out and I don’t wanna clutter your dash!!

Word Count: 1.2k

Maybe he sensed before he left for work this morning that you were acting kinda off-kilter, so he decided to come home on his lunch break to check on you. He brought bags of your favorite takeout restaurant and a gallon of your favorite ice cream with him as well. He was almost certain that it wasn’t your time of the month, but he came home prepared just in case because that’s the kind of boyfriend Duncan Shepherd is.

When he returned to his apartment, it appeared that you hadn’t even gotten out of bed. There were no new dishes in the sink apart from the coffee cup and spoon he’d used himself, the blanket was still strewn across the sofa from where you’d left it last night, and the tv wasn’t playing softly in the living room like you liked while you made breakfast each morning. Nothing but silence greeted him upon his arrival as he sat his grocery haul on the kitchen counter and made his way towards the bedroom that you two shared.

“Y/N?” he called out as he peeked his head around the corner of the door.

“Yeah?” you answered, lifting your own head from your pillow from where you were staring at the ceiling.

“Everything alright? You were acting kinda funny this morning, so I thought I’d come back and check on you. I brought food,” Duncan waved his hand towards the direction of the kitchen.

You shrugged back at him, feeling guilty that Duncan was worried about you enough to come all the way home from work to what was the matter.

“Just having a weird day,” you shrugged.

“Aaand why is that?” Duncan asked, pacing his way over to sit beside you on the edge of the bed.

“Don’t know. Just am.”

You wished he wouldn’t prod, but you knew Duncan. He was going to prod.

“Did something happen?”

“No, Duncan,” you retorted, a little snappier than you’d intended to.

“I’m fine. Go back to work.”

“Umm, no. You’re not fine,” he fired back, mocking the same tone you’d just used on him.

“You’re always out of bed before I leave for work. Plus, you’ve haven’t been acting yourself lately anyway.”

Why was he so good at reading you?

You were quiet, turning your attention back to the ceiling you were staring at before Duncan barged in unannounced.

“So I’ll take it that I’m right? Something is bothering you?”

“Duncan, please,” you begged, your voice cracking as tears instinctively welled up in the corners of your eyes.

“Just leave.”

“Ahh, well you see, princess, I’m not going to do that.”

Duncan stood up from the bed, fingers grabbing downward to remove his shoes and socks. He stripped all the way down to just the plain black boxer briefs he’d slipped on after his morning shower, then mosied out of the bedroom and into the long hallway that led to the living room and kitchen.

When Duncan returned, he held the large paper bag of takeout in his arms.

“My girl is sad, and I’m not leaving her side until I know she’s feeling better.”

“Won’t Annette be mad that you’re not coming back?”

“Eh,” he waved her comment away with a flick of his wrist.

“She’ll live. Plus, she owes me for the last 15 times I stayed overtime for her anyway.”

You hummed in response, feeling the bed dip as Duncan climbed under the covers beside you and began divvying out the warm platters of food from the back.

Duncan dug into his meal immediately, not wasting a second as he shoveled the food into his mouth with his fork.

“Are you stare at me all day or are you going to eat something?” Duncan asked, raising a quizzical brow in your direction.

“You don’t eat when you’re sad, and it’s not good for you. So eat. Before I make you.”

His comment earned a chuckle from you, but you felt a twinge in your heart when you realized Duncan even recognized that that was a trait you possessed. How many times had he seen you like this when you thought he didn’t notice? How many times did it take for him to pick up on your self-destructive behaviors?

You headed his warning, breaking your gaze at Duncan to fish around your plate for the perfect bite. It warmed your belly and soothed your soul, and the fact that Duncan knew that it would cheer you up made it taste ten times better.

Duncan stayed in bed with you all day. Literally. When you two were done with your food, he cast the empty containers on the nightstand beside him, noting to take it out with the trash later. He watched all of your favorite reruns and films, and not even the slightest of a complaint fell from his lips when you chose something you knew Duncan despised. 

He tangled his legs with yours, sliding his knee in between your thighs and holding onto your hips loosely. You had your arms wrapped around his neck, forcing his head to nestle perfectly in the valley of skin that laid between your breasts and just over your heart. It was your favorite way to cuddle, and judging by the way Duncan’s nose continuously nuzzled into the fabric of your shirt so he could press tiny, featherlight kisses against your bare breasts, he didn’t mind in the slightest.

After a well-deserved, food coma-induced nap (in which you woke up to Duncan spooning you with both hands in your shirt, fingers barely brushing against the undersides of your breasts), you were both too full to even consider eating dinner, but not too stuffed to crack into the gallon of ice cream Duncan had brought home with him that afternoon. He insisted on hand-feeding you with his own spoon just to hear your laughs echoing throughout the bedroom, and you could admit that the gesture lifted your spirits even more than Duncan already had.

“Feeling any better?” Duncan asked as he tossed the spoon haphazardly into the paper carton.

“Mhmm,” you answered, nodding your head sleepily.

You didn’t know how you were still tired considering you hadn’t gotten out of bed except to use the bathroom, but you felt like you could still endure a solid night’s sleep.

“Thank you for today.”

“Well, damn,” Duncan sarcastically sneered.

“I was kinda hoping you’d say no.”

You snorted at his reaction. Wasn’t the whole reason why he’d ditched work this afternoon to bring you out of the funk you were in?

“Umm, why?”

“I had one more trick up my sleeve to try and cheer you up.”

“Which was?” you asked hesitantly.

A smile erupted on Duncan’s face and he wriggled his eyebrows playfully before answering.

“You know,” he drew out the last syllable, reaching his hands around to give your bum a quick squeeze, then snapped the elastic of your panties down onto your waist.

You laughed out loud again for probably the hundredth time that day. Of course, that was the “trick.”

“Well in that case,” your eyes rolled back towards the ceiling, faking thought.

“Maybe I am still feeling kinda shitty. Why don’t you show me that little trick of yours?”

Duncan growled playfully before pinning you down on the bed, his nose brushing dangerously close against your own.

“It would be my pleasure.”

#duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd fanfiction #duncan shepherd one shot #asks #blurb #my writing

[letowritings]

It’s The Perfect Denial

Chapter 35

          The bus rolled into the next town and I sat there, staring down at my phone while Jared worked on a song that I knew would be stuck in my head for days to come. With Tomo and Vicki busy watching a movie at the back of the bus, and Shayla curled up in Shannon's bunk with a horrible migraine, Jared and I were basically alone.

My eyes focused on the game that I was currently playing, but my mind was busy shuffling through memories, struggling to come to terms with this new reality. I had only picked at my leftover take out from the night before.

I drifted back to the day that Shannon picked me up to leave for Wyoming. I hadn't spoken to either of them for two whole weeks, and neither were happy about it, but still Shannon showed up with a smile on his beautiful face. He followed me to my bedroom and watched as I continued to play off just how uncomfortable I had been about our trip to New York. I recalled the way he spun me around while I was packing. Staring deep into my eyes, I felt that unbreakable connection we had. It was magical and I felt like he really got me, really understood my feelings. I could still see the serious expression on his face as he spoke to me. "I'm not stupid, I know that what happened between the three of us is the reason you've been distant, but if it's the individual relationships you're worried about, you can stop. Jared and I will both tell you the same thing, it changes nothing. Look, I don't want you to worry about this. I've got a great weekend planned and I want you to just forget about everything else. It's just you and me, okay?"

My lips trembled replaying that last sentence over and over. We were so happy then, all of us. Shannon had been so sweet, going all out with a romantic dinner and then surprising me with a hot air balloon ride the next day. He was so genuine, so sweet, and I honestly felt like our connection had only grown stronger during that trip.

     It was hard to imagine that Shannon really was this overbearing prick who said all of those awful things to me yesterday. I mean, I know people can say some shitty things when they're hurt or upset, but he was just brutal. My heart clenched in my chest and I bit my lip to stifle the sigh that escaped.

  It took me a few seconds to realize that the music stopped and Jared wandered over to sit down next to me. His cheerful voice cut right through the silence and he bumped his shoulder against mine. "Hey you."

  "Hey, why'd you stop?" God, I felt so guilty. Guilty and stupid for wasting my time thinking about someone who clearly didn't care about me. I had a man right next to me who truly loved and wanted me. The bond I had with him was just as strong as the one I had with Shannon, if not stronger. So, why was I still depressed?

  "I need a break." Jared shrugged, picking up my fork and taking a bite of my fried rice. Making a face, he stood up and took with him the container over to the microwave to reheat it. "You're thinking about Shan?" I watched him shove the plastic spork into his mouth and lean back, staring at me.

  His question sounded more like a statement and I glanced down at my phone and then back up at him. "Not really."

  "Come on Carrie, don't lie to me. How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to pretend with me?" He narrowed his eyes at me and paused for a few seconds. "I have to tell you something. Do you know how I know you're thinking about him?"

"How?"

   "Because you get this pained look on your face and then you get real quiet. It's so obvious."

"It's okay, Carrie, I get it, you still have feelings for him and I'm not judging you for that." Pulling the spork from his mouth, he opened the door to the microwave and pulled the container out, dropping it onto the countertop. He grabbed the blue pot holder from the hook and carried the small container back over to the empty spot next to me. "You can't change who you love, right?"

  "I don't want to love someone so cold hearted and cruel." It was the truth, he really hurt my feelings talking to me the way he did.

"Babe, I don't know how you don't see it."

"See what?"

"That he's only acting this way and treating you so badly because he's hurt. I know for a fact that he fell hard for you. Why do you think he acted like he did when my mother caught you and me together?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. When I only shrugged my shoulders, he chuckled and responded. "He's in love with you still." Holding his hand up to stop me from bringing Dominique up again, he nodded his head and continued. "Yes, I know he's wrong for the whole Dom thing, but I believe he just made a stupid decision and unfortunately, the damage is done." Scooping up some rice, he held it closer for me to take a bite, but I was full and waved it away. There were so many qualities I loved about Jared, but one of my favorites, perhaps, was his selflessness and attentiveness. He always thought of everyone else's feelings and usually before his own. This was the perfect example right here. He could deny it all he wanted, but I knew that when I talked about Shannon, it bothered him. Still, he spoke on his brother's behalf, wanting to make sure I understood why he was so upset.

  "I don't feel sorry for him. This whole situation is like it is because of him! He knew what he was doing that night when he tried to make me think she was you, Jared! I swear to God when I start missing him, all I have to do is think of that moment and I get angry all over again. I just can't feel bad for him. Look, I promise I will never try to come between the two of you, but please don't try to make me feel sympathetic toward him. I have you and that's all I need."

    He leaned in closer, slithering an arm around me and kissing my forehead. "And I'm totally satisfied as well, but I was just trying to get you to understand why he feels the way he does." I snuggled closer, enjoying our semi alone time.

  A few hours later, Jared was pacing his dressing room, beginning to worry that Shannon might not show. He missed the meet and greet and came sauntering in, a few minutes before the start of the show. Walking straight to the dressing room, he hurried inside, slamming the door closed behind him. I took one look at Shannon and knew he was in the same clothes from the day before and made up my mind that I had to call a truce. Things couldn't go on this way every time we saw each other. But the question was, would he agree to it?

   I took my place at the side of the stage and watched the show. As usual, it was pure perfection, and Jared seemed happy. Looking out at the crowd, it was like a river of people that went on forever. Slipping in with the fans at the side of the stage, I could have been any one of them, singing along as the band delivered a breathtaking performance.

As the show ended, I purposely waited until Jared was busy talking with Shayla to go and knock on Shannon's dressing room door. I stood there, taking deep breaths and giving myself a little pep talk about how I needed to put my big girl panties on and get this over with. I was doing this for Jared and the good of our relationship. If we agreed to no more fighting, surely we could come to an agreement to be civilized. Part of me hated him and part of me missed him, but I was positive that we could just be neutral to each other, well, I was positive until he answered my knock. He opened up and poked his head out, frowning when our eyes met. "What now?"

#thirty seconds to mars fanfiction #shannon leto fanfiction #thirty seconds to mars fics #jared leto fanfiction #jared/shannon leto fanfiction #it’s the perfect denial