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easton-creations · 6 months

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Even If

A/n: hehe uh happy marauder fandom depression day. enjoy this random thing. Btw this was written awhile ago in the middle of the night sooooo might now be that good lol.

“Remus!” Came a voice bellowing up the stairs as Remus read his book in their dorm room. The young boy fought a smile but rolled his eyes when Sirius came barreling through the door. Imdeidetly Remus’ eyes were drawn to his clouds of grey, instantly melting into them. The rest of this hot young black drifting away.

Well…until Remus saw a flash of red. It was Sirius’ hair. It was bright red, curly, and short. Shorter then Remus had even seen it. Sirius’ eyes were filled with tears, because if you have ever come across the boy, you know, his best feature is his hair (well in Sirius opinion, Remus had very different thoughts on that (; ). So naturally…he's heartbroken.

Sirius threw himself into his boyfriend's arms making his next words a little muffled through Remus’ jumper, “How bad is it?”

Yes…Remus was laughing. But how could he not? “Its not that bad Sirius.”

But Sirius groaned at these words and looked up at Remus with teary eyes, “Don’t lie…”

“I’m not lying!” Remus broke out in a grin at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Yes you are…”

“I am not!”

“You know how I know?” His eyebrows furrowed, while Remus raised one.

“Mhm, how?”

“Cause you called me Sirius instead of Love or Babe or Si or pads.” Sirius' tears were freely flowing now and he sat in a criss-cross situation across the bed from Remus. “Are you not attracted to me now? Cause it will change back! I just have to get someone to help me.” At this point his head hung low and Remus knew he felt ashamed, “I’m sorry Moony…” His voice was meek and quiet. It broke Remus’ heart.

When he and Sirius started dating it became clear very quickly how much his parents have had an effect on him, cause from the very beginning Sirius believed that he didn’t deserve Remus’ affection. He always worried he wasn’t pretty enough for him, or that if he let down his perfect hair and let it get a little bit messy that Remus would leave him.

To Sirius’ his looks were everything.

To Remus, they were only a bonus. But sometimes it's hard to convey that to someone.

“Oh my love….Not at all!” Remus grabbed the front of Sirius’ shirt and pulled him to himself in a big hug (something that's always calmed both of them down), enveloping the smaller boy into his much larger form. “I’m sorry you feel like that baby. I think you are fucking beautiful no matter what. If you are fat and old, or young and short,” Remus tickled Sirius a little in the side, and Sirius let out a light chuckle, “Or dead and gone, and even if you're ginger…”

Sirius sat up quickly, his tears having dried, “I’M GINGER!” Sirius stands up and runs into the bathroom giving a loud shout into the mirror at the sight of himself. Remus smiled, grateful that his boyfriend is much more able to move past things than himself.

After a few seconds Sirius’ blushing head poked over the side of the door. “I love you too dork…” Then his head disappeared again, and all Remus heard was him muttering about his hair. Eventually Remus got up to help him turn it back to his normal colour of black. And while Remus figured out what to do Sirius told him about the group of kids who had caused the mischief. Apparently they had put out some kind of potion in all the drinks at lunch to dye all the students' hairs red. Sirius ranted for most of the time about who possibly could have done it, speculating about if it was a slytherin or maybe a Hufflepuff. Remus kept quiet, but in his mind he had a certain Red head that would have been perfect for the job.

****

The ‘I love you even if…’s had continued on with their life. During their years at Hogwarts when Remus got dysphoria about his chest or his scars, Sirius would hold him and tell him ‘I love you even if…’s. Or when Sirius got a letter from his biological family or his brother said something, Remus would do the same. Once, after a mission for the order where Remus had to go off the radar for 2 weeks he showed up at home and muttered.. “Even if you're ginger…” before collapsing in his crying husband's arms.

When Sirius escaped from Azkaban and was on the run he showed up at Remus’ house, looking through the window. But never knocking, never saying anything, cause ‘Even if you thought I killed them?’

When Remus finally saw Sirius alone after 12 years he hugged him and whispered, “Even when you leave. Even when everyone doubted you. Even when I doubted you.”

On the night Sirius passed through the veil Remus sat in Sirius’ old room crying and yelling out into the empty void, “Even when you're dead and gone.”

Finally when the final curse hit Remus on the field of Hogwarts he heard a familiar voice say to him, “Even when you take forever getting here.” The shorter form hugged him tightly, swearing to never let go.

#hehe #i’m not sorry #lol #marauders era #peter pettigrew #james potter #marauders headcanon #wizarding world #harry potter fandom #hogwarts #remus x sirius #sirius black #sirius orion black #james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin #sirius x lupin #wolfstar fic #wolfstar #marauders #wolfstar fanfiction #my own writing #my own stuff #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #moony #moony x padfoot #padfoot #remus john lupin #sirius being sirius #anything for our moony #prongsie

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