#go back to kansas toto

[mcgnussen]

toto wolff: "it wasn't his [magnussen’s] race. the mercedes was clearly faster than the haas today.”

i’m sorry, is this man seriously insinuating that haas isn’t allowed to fight for positions because the mercedes was faster? also mercedes wasn’t faster in the first lap, was it, toto? since kevin started p8 and got close to overtaking hamilton in p6. it was a racing incident, toto, your man was just as much at fault.

EDIT: @totonator555 has added a bit of context: “what toto said is that the collision was unlucky and he can’t understand it. the race wasn’t kevin’s (i can’t understand why he used this wording tbh it makes no sense but he probably meant corner) and risking a collision wasn’t optimal. so he wasn’t insinuating that kevin can’t race and overtake because he also added that he believes kmag can take such challenges on but he didn’t think risking a collision was optimal.” 

it doesn’t change a lot for me since i still think it’s a dodgy thing to say especially followed by the bit with mercedes being faster than haas today, but i wanted to be fair and add the context provided.

#go back to kansas toto #toto wolff #mercedes f1 team #kevin magnussen

[kat-rose-griffith]

I would just like to know in what world they thought people would be satisfied with Ted and Beard not being in each others lives

#ted lasso #coach beard #I couldn’t give a shit if it’s realistic that specifically was the most unsatisfying part of the finale #willis beard #for that simple fact they made ted even more alone than when they started the show #they come as a set and they are not to be separated especially for a romance that literally no one gave a shit about #absolutely no reason bears couldn’t go with Ted even if he had left her crazy ass would’ve stalked beard back to Kansas #if it was for the Wizard of Oz stuff then they’re wrong and stupid because Toto goes back to Kansas with Dorothy she doesn’t go back alone

[offscreendeath]

#this part was so fucked up lmao #jjba #stone ocean #poor dog #toto going back to kansas alone ig #anime #anime screencap #jojo no kimyō na bōken #uploads #offscreendeathshots

[hmslusitania]

Ted Lasso is a portal fantasy

I know, I know it's not in any way a speculative fiction show. I know. Bear with me for a second. Ted Lasso is a portal fantasy, but the real question is whether this is the story we know from the Wizard of Oz, or Mary Poppins. Ted himself is at once Dorothy and Mary, and I think my reaction to the end of Ted's story, specifically, depends on whether you take the show at it’s title, that it’s about Ted Lasso (Dorothy) or take the show at Ted’s word that it was never about him (Mary Poppins).

To Ted, he is very literally Dorothy.

He’s away from Kansas, he’s surrounded by the reminder that “there’s no place like home”, and he spent the finale wearing honest to god ruby red sneakers. The evil wizard stalked down from his curtained owners box and was removed from power. The lion got her courage, the tin man for his heart, and the scarecrow got his brain, and Dorothy went back to Kansas (leaving Toto behind). But unlike Dorothy, we didn't really get the build up that Ted had to go back to Kansas to get what he wanted -- Henry back in his life. Rebecca even offered him the choice to stay, and the means to bring Henry and even Michelle back to London with him. Exactly zero compelling reason was offered to explain why Ted wouldn't take that offer. But he's Dorothy, in a portal fantasy, and that's what Dorothy does -- she goes home. It is the ending of the vast majority of portal fantasies, no matter how much it will fuck up the protagonist (there's a whole series detailing that damage and undoing it by tumblr's own Seanan McGuire which I highly recommend btw). To me, this is an unsatisfying ending for Ted himself, since no reason was given for him to turn down Rebecca's offer.

However.

To the Richmond family, Ted is Mary Poppins.

One of the complaints I’ve seen about this season is that we don’t know where Ted is, emotionally. Much like Mary Poppins, whose internality as a character is, at best, an afterthought. Mary Poppins is not the point of Mary Poppins. The children she helps are the point of Mary Poppins, and when she leaves at the end, although you’re sad to see her go, you know the kids she left there have grown as people and will continue to grow by her example and her benevolent Julie Andrews ways. And by and large, you don’t really worry about the place Mary Poppins goes to. She’s Mary Poppins and she’ll do what she does and ours is not to question etc. ("Mary Poppins isn't a portal fantasy" yeah, I know, technically, but it's kind of an inside out portal fantasy since there's a character who came from another kind of realm, who swept in to be the answer to some problem, and then went home {or, wherever}; it's just we're seeing it from the pov of the locals rather than the person from the other realm.)

The Richmond Team have all grown as people under Ted's stewardship. As we’ve seen in the character progressions particularly of Roy, of Nate, of Rebecca, they will continue in the Richmond way that they’ve developed. Forever changed by Ted sailing in on his parasol, missing him certainly, but able to continue. More narrative weight is given to the Mary Poppins side of the story, and in this scenario, I take much, much less issue with Ted's the character's ending.

In conclusion, Ted Lasso is the story of Mary Poppins staring Dorothy Gale in the titular role.

#Ted lasso #Ted lasso spoilers

[hendersister]

twilight zone (1/3)

summary: when you and steve get trapped in the upside down, you work together to survive.

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!sister reader

title 🎵: twilight zone by golden earring

word count: ~1k

a/n: while i was outling this fic, i realized it was getting pretty long so i decided to split it into 3 parts 🩷🩷🩷

part 2 ->

Everything happened so fast… 

It all started when you thought that you had a lead in tracking down Vecna. You believed that gates to the Upside Down were opened at each spot Vecna kills his victims. So you and Steve decided to follow your hunch. You took Dustin’s compass and a boat out to Lover’s Lake, where Patrick died, to investigate if your theory was accurate.

You and Steve stopped rowing after the compass started acting haywire. Steve volunteered to go into the water to check it out. When he resurfaced, he told you that he found a small gate. Your theory was right! But before you had time to celebrate this little win in the big war, Steve got abruptly pulled underwater. It was horrifying to watch, like a moment in Jaws came to life.

“STEVE!” you scream frantically. 

Without thinking, you dive into the water to help your boyfriend.

Steve is dragged into the Upside Down by the creature that pulled him underwater. Once Steve makes it through the gate, the creature lets go of its tight grip around his ankle. 

Steve breathes heavily, trying to catch his breath after being underwater. He rises to his feet and takes a look around.

“Shit,” Steve curses to himself.

He hears the sounds of electricity sparking, thunder rumbling in the distance, and then-

“Steve!” 

Your boyfriend turns to see you rushing toward him. His jaw drops when he sees you. When Steve was in trouble, you jumped in the water after him. If that’s not love, Steve doesn’t know what is.

“Y/N!”

As soon as you reach Steve, you pull him into a big hug.

“Holy shit! When you got pulled down….I thought I lost you…” you tell him breathlessly.

Steve hugs you back tightly.

“I’m alright,” he softly assures you, then looks you up and down, “Are you okay?”

You nod and then let out a deep breath, finally taking in your surroundings. Your eyes widen as you look around the Upside Down. It’s like Hawkins but it’s colder, darker, and much more sinister. 

“Toto… I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” you joke in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Suddenly, sounds of shrieking and squawking can be heard in the distance. You and Steve both turn your heads to see a swarm of demobats flying right towards you.

“Oh fuck!” you gasp.

Steve quickly scans your surroundings and notices an Upside Down version of the little rowboat you used to get to the middle of Lover’s Lake. The boat has two paddles. Steve grabs them both and hands one off to you. 

You and Steve raise your paddles like weapons, readying yourself for the oncoming threat. 

WOOSH

The demobats start swarming around you and Steve. The two of you smack them away with the paddles. You try to stay as close to one another as possible but you eventually break away from each other to fight your own little battles.

You’re able to hold your own pretty well. While repeatedly hitting one of the demobats over and over again, part of your wooden paddle breaks off into a sharp edge. You take advantage and start using it like a knife. Instead of swatting the demobats away, you stab them. You pierce holes through their chest, killing them instantly.

Meanwhile, Steve is fighting off demobats left and right. One of the bats extends its tail and wraps it around Steve’s neck, choking Steve and causing him to drop his paddle. Steve grunts as he pulls the tail away from his neck. Steve keeps hold of the demobat’s tail and repeatedly smashes the creature into the ground. Then he steps on the bat’s chest and tears its body apart. A panting Steve tosses half of the demobat’s body behind him and spits out some blood as thunder booms in the background. 

And then, just as quickly as they came, you and Steve watch as most of the demobats suddenly fly away. A few of the creatures stay behind and circle around the gate, effectively blocking it off.

“There’s not that many. We can take ‘em. Right?” Steve wonders aloud. 

SQUAWK 

In the distance, more demobats start to converge. Your heart drops. Those bats weren’t leaving the fight, they were getting more back up. You and Steeve need to get out of here immediately.

You take Steve’s hand.

“C’mon!”

You and Steve run as fast as you can into the nearby woods. You don’t stop running until you reach the Upside Down version of Skull Rock. You both need a moment to catch your breath.

After a beat, you look Steve up and down. Before he dove into the water to take a look at the gate, he took his shirt and shoes off. You can’t let him navigate the Upside Down in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. You take off your sweatshirt, which was actually one of Steve’s old sweatshirts before he gave it to you, and toss it over to him.

“As much as I enjoy watching you walk around shirtless, you look like you need this more than me.” 

Steve gives you an appreciative look.

“Thanks Y/N.”

You wink cutely at Steve. He smiles to himself and puts on the sweatshirt. 

Then the earth abruptly starts shaking. Steve wraps a protective arm around you and tries his best to keep hold of the rock. You both cling on to each other until the shaking stops. You can hear creatures baying and snarling in the distance.

“We need to find another gate to get out of here. There’s no way we can use Lover’s Lake,” you tell Steve.

Your boyfriend nods in agreement.

“I think the next closest gate is Eddie’s trailer, where Chrissy died,” you say.

“Yeah, but that’s like 15 miles away,” Steve shrugs.

You sigh. Ooof. That’s going to be a long walk! Unfortunately, it might be the only other way out of the Upside Down. You have to get to Eddie’s trailer. But first, you and Steve should stock up on supplies to prepare for the journey ahead.

“My house isn’t too far from here. We can go there to pick up anything we might need before heading to Eddie’s trailer,” you suggest.

“Good idea,” Steve nods.

“Let’s go.”

#stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x henderson!sister reader

[sunriserose1023]

Point of Ignition [one]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here is the long awaited (my bad) first part of my new Bucky x Reader college AU! This is the one you all voted for a couple months back, and despite all my self-sabotage, it's time to get this underway. This is loosely based on one of my favorite books, Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire.

WARNINGS: Violence, fighting, mentions of blood and injury WORD COUNT: 2860

You let out a breath as you smoothed your hands down the front of your cardigan. Your hair was sleek and you tucked some behind your ears, showing off the simple pearl earrings. There was a knock at the door and you lifted your eyes in the mirror, seeing your best friend walk in. Her eyebrows nearly hit her hairline before she relaxed and smiled. 

“Well, don’t you look just Stepford Wife perfect?”

You rolled your eyes, watching Natasha walk across the room to her bed. She pulled her t-shirt off and then her bra, walking to her side of the closet and pulling out a bustier, wrapping it around her torso and walking to you. You knew the drill; the two of you had finagled each other in and out of tops like hers many times. 

“You sure you don’t want to wear something like this?” “Stop talking and suck in.”

She did, and you fastened the bottom of the bustier. You shook your head. 

“Your boobs are too big for this.” “You say too big, I say just right for distracting the menfolk.” “Because that’s the kind of attention we’re trying to attract?” “Think about where we’re going, muffin. We’re not going to find standup guys at an underground fight club.”

You rolled your eyes as she tucked her breasts into the top, then nodded to you. She took in a breath as you worked quickly to fasten the rest of the top. When you were finished, she exhaled, but barely. 

“You’re going to pass out from lack of oxygen.” “Eh, I’ll be fine. But seriously, that’s what you’re wearing?”

You nodded, turning back to the mirror. You and Natasha looked like polar opposites. Her bright red hair stood out against her pale skin, the black bustier pushing her breasts up and making them look fabulous. Her jeans were skintight, and the heeled boots only added to the badass-ness of her look. 

You, on the other hand, wore simple dark wash skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a pale pink cardigan. Your ballet flats were black, and … Natasha was right. You did look eerily similar to a Stepford Wife. 

“Yep.”

Natasha slowly nodded, her eyes saying what her mouth didn’t. You sighed, turning from the mirror to face her. 

“I want to be different, Nat.” “Oh, you’re different, my preppy little doll.” “I’m not a doll.” “You’re not … this either.”

She waved her hand from your head towards your feet. You sighed, looking back at the mirror over your shoulder. 

“Maybe I want to be this.” “Do you?”

You swallowed, giving her a stubborn nod. Natasha sighed, then grabbed her phone as it chimed. She nodded, looking back at you.

“Alright, it’s time. Let’s go.”

You sighed, taking some money from your wallet and putting it in your back pocket. You put your cell phone in your other back pocket, and Natasha dangled her keys, signaling that you didn’t need to bring yours. You waited in the hall while she locked the door, smiling when she slipped her arm into yours, the two of you walking down the stairs and into the dark of the night together. 

“If you want to be so different, do you want to change your name, too?”

You rolled your eyes. 

“No. I like my name.” “Just not your look or your personality?” “I like my personality. I just don’t want to be—“ “Hey.”

You jolted a bit when Natasha stopped suddenly. You turned to face her and she shook her head. 

“Nobody knows you here. Nobody knows about your past. We made sure of that, and that’s why we picked a school way far away from home. We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

You rolled your eyes, but nodded. She was right. You were far away from home and no one knew you or your past here. You took a deep breath and nodded, giving Natasha a smile. She linked her arm through yours again, and the two of you continued walking. 

“But if we were to change your name … what about Melissa? We could call you Missy.” “No.” “Charlotte? You’d be a cute Charlie.” “What is it with you and nicknames? I like my name just fine.” “Whatever. Turn over this way.” “Through the grass?” “Yes, princess. They don’t do this out in the quad. Hence the ‘underground fight club’ part of it all.”

You wrinkled your nose as you walked through the wet grass with Natasha. 

“What’s the first rule, Nat?”

She rolled her eyes so fiercely you could almost hear it. You giggled and she muttered under her breath. 

“Don’t talk about fight club.” “Exactly. Underground or not.” “Here, this is it.”

You glanced at the building before you, raising an eyebrow. 

“You sure?” “Yep.” “I bet the door is this way.” “Hang on, preppy.”

You gave her a confused look and she smiled. 

“What part of ‘underground … you know what’ makes you think we’d go through the front door?”

You blinked, eyes widening as realization hit. 

“No.” “Come on.” “Natasha—“ “We’ve come too far to wimp out now. Come on.”

She basically dragged you to an open window almost level with the grass you were standing on. She crouched down, glancing back at you. 

“Stay close in case I pop out.” “Oh for the love of God.”

She giggled as she sat on the grass, shimmying slightly and sliding through the window. You bent your knees as you hit the ground beside Natasha, who was adjusting her top. You shook your head, brushing your hands off as you glanced around. 

“Where are we supposed to go?”

Natasha smirked at your whisper. She motioned with her head and you followed her, eyes widening when you saw a tall, muscular man leaning against the wall. He smiled, showing a gap between his front teeth. 

“There you are. Hey, Red.” “Hey.”

They just stared and smiled at each other, so you rolled your eyes and stepped forward, clearing your throat a little obnoxiously. Natasha glanced at you with narrowed eyes before schooling her features. 

“Y/N, this is Sam. I met him at move-in day. He helped lug all your shit up to our room.”

You nodded, holding out a hand. Sam shook it, then looked back to Natasha, then to you again. 

“Y’all excited? This is your first time, right?” “Yep. We’re fight club virgins.”

You rolled your eyes as Sam chuckled. He slid his arm over Natasha’s shoulders, nodding for you to follow. The three of you walked down a fairly long hallway, noises growing louder as you got closer to the source. You stopped in the doorway as Sam and Natasha walked through it, feeling your heartbeat kick up a bit. There were tons of people in this small room. 

“Sweetie?”

You looked to Natasha, worry evident in her eyes. You swallowed and she stepped closer to you. 

“There’s so many people.” “Sam’s not going to let anyone hurt us.” “They’re like shoulder-to-shoulder, Nat. There's too many people in here.” “Breathe.”

You took a breath in through your nose, shaking your head as you exhaled. Natasha leaned even closer to you. 

“If you’re uncomfortable, we can go.”

You took another breath, setting your shoulders and shaking your head. 

“No, I … I’m okay.” “You sure?”

You nodded as Sam walked over. He laid a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“You okay?”

You nodded, looking up at him. 

“Where can I place a bet?”

Sam’s eyebrows raised, and you knew Natasha was staring at you with wide eyes, so you ignored her. Sam held out a hand. 

“Tell me what you want and I’ll place the bet for you.”

You handed him some folded-up money, still ignoring Natasha’s silent freak out. 

“If your roommate’s as good as you and Nat say he is, put it on him.”

Sam nodded, grinning as he took the money and walked away. As soon as he was out of earshot, Natasha grabbed you. 

“What the literal fuck?” “Relax. I haven’t been able to find a job yet and I need some money.” “Then tell me that. I can help, or you know my parents would.”

You shook your head, yanking your arm from Natasha’s grasp. 

“I’m not looking for handouts. I’m fine. I’ll be fine once this … what’s his name again?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. 

“Bucky.” “Right. Bucky. As long as Bucky proves to be as good as you and Sam say he is, then we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Natasha sighed, shaking her head, smiling as Sam stepped back over. She sidled up to him and slid an arm around his waist, and you watched his smile widen as he laced an arm around her. You glanced around the room, then back to Sam. 

“So how long until—“ “Ladies and jerks, boy toys and wing women, welcome to …”

You jerked as nearly every voice in the room shouted at the same time. 

“The Devil’s Lair!”

You looked at Natasha, who had an excited smile on her face. You rolled your eyes, but smiled as well as you leaned closer to her. 

“The Devil’s Lair? Seriously?” “Loosen. Up.”

You snorted, giggling as she pinched your side. You scanned the room, still a little on edge as you took in the sight of so many people standing around. You didn’t listen to the guy with the bullhorn announcing the challenger, but you jumped when loud cheers went up across the room. You shook your head, taking a step back. Natasha turned to you and you shook your head again. 

“It’s too much. I’m going to go.” “Let me walk with you.” “No, you stay with Sam. I can find my way out.” “And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Men want to be him, women just want him. Let’s hear it for the White Wolf!”

Howls went up from around the room and you shook your head as you turned around, bumping into a strong chest, a gasp leaving your lips. 

The noise in the room faded as you stared into icy blue eyes. His hands, wrapped in white tape, went to your upper arms, steadying you. Your eyes widened as you took in his bare muscular chest, the tattoos up and down his arms. You met his eyes again as a smirk crossed his face. 

“Pardon me, pigeon.”

He winked at you as he stepped aside, bouncing on his toes as he made his way into the ring. You wrinkled your nose, turning to watch him. 

“‘Pigeon?’” “Go ahead and toss him your panties, ladies. It’s Bucky Barnes!”

As cheers filled the room again, you walked to Natasha, who had a knowing grin on her plump lips. You tossed a thumb over your shoulder.

“That’s Bucky Barnes?” “Cute, ain’t he?”

You moved to stand beside her, eyes finding Bucky in the ring, seeing him tap his fist against his challenger’s. You couldn’t take your eyes from him as you watched him bob and weave, ducking under the other guy’s punches, landing a few of his own. He kicked the guy in the chest, and you watched the opponent stumble back, eyes widening when Bucky was suddenly standing in front of you. 

“Are you new here?” “Um, yes?” “I thought so. Haven’t seen you around before.” “Look out!”

Bucky ducked and Sam dragged you backwards as the other guy threw a punch way too close for comfort. You held onto Sam’s forearm as Bucky nodded to him. 

“Don’t let her leave.” “Excuse me?” “Sorry, Pidge. I’m a little busy right now. We can talk lat—“

Your hand flew to cover your mouth as Bucky’s head snapped to the side, his opponent grinning as his fist made contact. Bucky shook his head, wiggling his jaw as he turned to his opponent. 

“That was your one.”

The guy threw another punch, but Bucky dodged it, and in a stunningly short amount of time, the other guy was lying unconscious on the floor. 

“Goddamn it, he’s done it again! The White Wolf continues his winning streak!”

Howls filled the room again as you felt Natasha’s hand slide into yours. You watched the crowd move forward, hiding Bucky from your sight, so you turned your attention to following Natasha. Sam was ahead of her, holding her other hand, leading the two of you down a hallway, back to the window you’d first shimmied through. You shook your head. 

“Now we’ve got to climb up?” “Unless you want to teleport, or have campus security question you when you walk out the front door.” “And what if campus security is right outside the window?”

Sam shook his head. 

“Nah. Buck’s made friends with most of them. They know what’s going on; they just turn a blind eye.”

You pursed your lips and sighed. 

“How refreshing.” “Just shut up and give me your foot.” “No.”

Natasha rolled her eyes as she crouched down, picking your foot off the floor and placing it in her hand. 

“Use your other foot to push off and pull yourself through the window.” “Nat, I have zero upper body strength. How am I supposed to—“ “Better figure it out quick.”

You yelped as she pushed you up, and you grabbed onto the grass through the open window, making a face as the dirt got under your nails. 

“This is—Nat, I’m slipping!” “I got you, Pidge.”

You looked up into those icy blue eyes as Bucky Barnes took hold of your wrists, pulling you forward and helping you stand to your feet. You went to brush off your front, a sigh leaving your lips at the grass stains on your once-pristine white shirt. Bucky made a sympathetic noise and you turned to raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Sorry, Pidge.” “Don’t call me that.”

You told him your name and he nodded. 

“Nice, but I won’t be using it. You’re my pigeon.” “No, I’m not. I am not a bird. Thanks anyway.”

Bucky chuckled. 

“You’re spicy, Pidge. I like it.”

You repeated your name for him, and he took a step closer. 

“So how long have you been here?”

You swallowed, suppressing the shiver you wanted to give at his proximity. You just watched him literally fight a guy. How does he smell good?

“Pidge?”

You shook your head. 

“Sorry. I just got here a few hours ago. A little jet-lagged, I guess.” “Where’d you fly in from?”

You gave him a sweet smile. 

“That’s not important. How often do you go around knocking guys out?”

Bucky’s smile lit up his face, and the little scrunch of his nose made your chest feel warm. 

“Not often enough, I’m afraid. You want to get out of here?”

The laugh burst from your lips before you could stop it. 

“That line usually work for you?” “Sometimes.” “Not tonight, though.”

You turned at the sound of a whistle, and Bucky left your side to crouch by the window. You watched as hands with red nails appeared through the open window, Bucky taking hold and easily pulling Natasha through the window. She staggered over to you and you raised your eyebrows at her messy hair and smeared lipstick. 

“Seriously?” “Shut up.”

You rolled your eyes as Bucky helped Sam out of the window, and Sam jumped when he got to his feet, a smile and some of Natasha’s lipstick on his lips. He reached in his back pocket as he made his way to you. 

“Before I forget.”

He handed over a wad of cash, enough that Natasha’s eyes widened. Bucky was suddenly in your field of view, a smirk on his face. 

“You bet on me, Pidge?”

You repeated your name for him again, enunciating it. 

“Guess you did live up to the hype.”

The breath caught in your throat when his warm breath hit your ear a second before he whispered into it. 

“I can live up to a lot more than just hype.”

You laid both hands against his muscular chest, pushing him, and he stumbled back with a laugh. 

“Come on, Pidge. You wound me.” “It’s late.” “I got a bed you can sleep in.” “You’re disgusting.”

The sound of Natasha’s laugh made you realize where you were. You felt your face warm when you looked her way, seeing her and Sam standing side-by-side with their hands in each other’s back pockets. Natasha lifted her chin at you. 

“There’s a party at Kappa Sig. Want to go?”

You shook your head. 

“No thanks. I think I’m going to get a head start on studying.” “Pidge, don’t be that girl.”

You turned to face Bucky again. 

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me ‘Pidge?’ It’s annoying.” “I think it’s cute.” “Nobody cares what you think.”

Natasha’s laugh filled the air again, and you turned to her with flashing eyes. She shook her head, pointing to Bucky. 

“I’m with him. It’s one party. And it’s Friday night. Who studies on Friday night?”

You stared at her, and she merely raised an eyebrow. You closed your eyes and huffed out a breath, shaking your head. 

“Fine. But I’m only staying for like one hour.” “We’ll see, Pidge.” “Don’t call me Pidge.”

NEXT

#marvel fanfiction #marvel reader insert #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #marvel au #reader insert #point of ignition series #female reader insert #sam wilson #natasha romanoff #mcu

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

On Air [Chapter Two] Radio Lover [Alastor]

A/n: a change I made already was stating that Aelia becomes a Succubus. She does not, however, her promiscuous nature attributed to her demon form, giving her a Succubus-like appearance and nature. When I created her, I made her loosely based on Albedo from Overlord, appearance-wise. I'm new to the fandom, so I am bound to make mistakes.

Regardless, I hope you all enjoy the story.

Warning(s): mentions of death and execution, pain, Hazbin Hotel lore, public sexual themes, gun usage, language, mention of cannibals, magic, demons/sinners, original female character, the OC is a serial killer, blood consumption (in a potion), dark content.

Tag list: @dndmaniac

No Minors Allowed!!

The pain of death was intense, so much so, that Aelia could not move. All of the air around her had faded away and no matter how hard she tried, she could not fill her lungs. Slowly she suffocated, sinking in what felt like a sea of molasses until her vision faded to black. 

Then, as though it had all been a dream, Aelia suddenly came to and gasped for air, greedily taking in as much as she could. Her lungs burned and her head felt congested, as though it might burst at any given moment. She had no idea what was going on, but one thing was certain, she was not in Tennessee anymore. 

As she lay on the cold, concrete ground between two tall buildings, she stared weakly up at the dark red sky. She had never seen such a color. It was ominous. For a moment, Aelia considered closing her eyes and letting her mind fade back into darkness, but the sound of moaning caught her attention. Someone was near.

Despite the pain, Aelia sat up. Her body felt heavy but she dismissed it as fatigue and stood on her trembling feet. A groan of pain left her. Why did her veins feel like they were on fire? 

I was executed, wasn't I? 

The last thing she remembered before she woke up was staring up at the ceiling in the execution chamber before she was knocked unconscious. It figures. Aelia felt every bit of what the injections did to her. So, how did she wind up in an alleyway?

Tottering toward the muffled voice, Aelia felt as though she was dragging something behind her, but upon witnessing the source of the former noise, her eyes grew wide in shock. A man with a cyclopean eye was being blown by in public as onlookers at the entrance to the alley watched on in awe and pleasure.

What the fuck? 

And stranger than that, the onlookers were beings straight out of a fantasy world. Anthropomorphic animals, humans with multi-hued skin, and gelatinous creatures; the list went on. Aelia must be dreaming. Or having a nightmare. 

She considered waiting until the alley was clear to leave, but she wanted more than ever just to escape the awkward situation before it got worse. As she wandered closer, the one-eyed man took note of her and grinned.

“Ya want a taste, darling? Make this a threesome.”

Aelia narrowed her eyes in disgust. 

“Not a chance in hell.” 

Besides, her heart belonged to someone else. The thought of his name alone made her heart race. 

“Where do ya think you are?” The man remarked. 

What the hell did that mean? Aelia shook her head and stormed past him.

“Ain't neva seen a succubus turn down cock. It's your loss, bitch.”

Again, she was left in wonder, but as she passed through the crowd of onlookers, evading the wandering hands of a pig-like man, she came to realize that she was soon to dismiss the man’s remark. 

The area she woke up in was in utter disarray. People were running around out of control; she saw one person shoot another right across the street. 

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. 

Or Earth for that matter.

A sudden sharp pain shot up Aelia’s side, and upon turning her head, she realized that someone had bumped into her. Yet, she did not feel them brush her. To her horror, a light gray wing with light blue tipped feathers rose into view. Aelia gasped. 

Hurrying over to a store window, she looked at her reflection, unfamiliar with the person she saw. Was this her? It couldn't be. Her hair was long, wavy, and light gray. The hazel-green eyes that she got from her mother were now light blue and the sclera surrounding them was black. Then to matters worse, she had two pairs of wings on her lower back and a set of white horns that enveloped her head like a circlet.

This has got to be a nightmare. 

Running her hand along one of the wings, it flinched to Aelia’s touch. It felt as though it were an extension of her body, though she reckoned it was. What was she? The one-eyed man’s slur drifted back to her; a succubus. Strange…she did not look or feel like one. 

Aelia took an uneasy breath and raised her hand to brush back the fringe covering her right eye, but as she did, she noticed a tattoo of red symbols circling her wrist. They looked almost like vèvès, but why were they around her wrist?

“Where am I?”

“Pardon me,” a feminine voice cooed. “But did I hear correctly? You do not know where you are.”

Aelia diverted her eyes from the shop window to a woman with a wide shark-like smile and pitch-black eyes. Her elegant yet ghostly features startled the winged woman, but regardless, she shook her head in agreement. 

“Why dear, take a look around, you are in Hell,” she chuckled while placing her hand against your chest. 

Aelia paled at the thought, but honestly, it made sense. With her sins, she did not expect to go to Heaven. 

I thought I would be with him though. 

Her heart raced but at the same time, it ached.

“Close your eyes, my dear, and do not sulk. You will see me soon enough.”

Alastor’s last words Aelia took to heart. Was Hell where he had intended her to go? Perhaps he had lied to her. She felt faint.

The pale woman, Rosie, raised a thin brow in curiosity. Leaning her long neck forward, she eagerly took in her scent. It had been a long time since she had smelled the living world on a person; of petrichor and slightly sweet earth. She smelled delicious. 

Mixed in, however, was the familiar scent of blood and magic.  

“I see now,” Rosie stated. She had made a deal. And with Alastor to her shock. Shame. 

A realization suddenly dawned on the Overlord. 

“Oh my, where are my manners? My name is Rosie.”

She extended her hand which Aelia hesitantly took, giving her a good look at the vèvès around her wrist; the Radio Demon’s magic.

“Do a lady a favor and escort her home, would you? I'll make it worth your while,” Rosie offered. 

Aelia was not certain she could trust the wide-smiling woman, but there was an air of kindliness about her that put her a little at ease. Besides, she was more than capable of protecting herself if she needed to.

“Of course.”

Rosie chuckled and continued down the street. Cannibal Colony was not far. As the two walked in silence, Aelia took a moment to steal herself. There was a lot to take in, and honestly, all of it felt like a bad dream. Who knew Hell was so colorful? It was a bit frightening, to be honest. 

“Don't lose your pluck, my dear. I still need you.”

Did she fail him? Surely this is not where he wanted her to end up. Though, thinking about it, Alastor being a denizen of Hell made sense. Aelia knew he was not a product of the abuse; he was real. An angel or a demon, the former is what she believed, however. But hell, angels did not condone murder. Did they?

“Stay close to me, Miss Aelia,” Rosie ordered. “As quaint as it is here, you do not want to wander off on your own, especially dressed like that.” 

Aelia raised a brow. What was wrong with the way she was dressed? She still had on her prison attire, so she reckoned Rosie had a point. 

An old-timey town came into view, plucked straight from the early 1900s. It was quaint, as Rosie had stated, but what concerned Aelia the most was the town sign, which declared that she was in ‘Cannibal Colony’. Fuck. Where did she let Rosie take her? 

The few people who passed her by, dressed in elegant attire, gave Rosie and her a wide berth, but that did not stop them from eyeing the winged woman like a piece of raw meat.

“Morning, Miss Rosie,” a wide-smiling gentleman greeted her as he approached. “I see you brought back a succulent-looking guest.”

Rosie chuckled, resting her hand against her chest. 

“And a guest she is. Treat her as such.”

The man’s smile faltered a bit, but he took his hat off to Aelia and then hastened down the street. The latter found this weird but she did not comment on it. Whoever Rosie was, the denizens of ‘Cannibal Colony’ did not look down on her. She was not sure if this was a good thing or not. 

“And here we are,” the said woman declared, raising a pale hand toward a charming little store with a striped awning. 

The sign above the door read: Franklin and Rosie, Emporium.

“You live here?” Aelia asked. 

“Mixed-use property is beneficial,” Rosie remarked. “And I like to look after my assets.”

Aelia could understand that. But what sort of investments did the elegant woman own? Emporiums often cover a wide range of products. 

As they approached, Rosie snapped her fingers and the double doors opened. Aelia was in awe, even more so when she saw the interior of the establishment. It was gorgeous with a wide variety of different goods; everything from clothing to vintage radios. 

A familiar style caught her eye, and Aelia narrowed her eyes in fondness. Much to her dismay, the Atwood Kent brand she owned was confiscated by the authorities when she was arrested. But during her final hours, instead of a last meal, she requested it back, getting to speak to Alastor one last time. 

Unbeknownst to her, Rosie was watching in interest, taking note of the neon pink heart that replaced the pupil in her right eye. 

How curious.

Her wings even raised in elation. It was sort of cute. 

“You know, at first I thought you were a succubus or a fallen angel, but you don't look much like either up close,” Rosie mentioned. 

Her wings were placed at her center of gravity and feathered. No, she was not a Hellborn Succubus, but she looked like one. Her body even reacted to arousal as though she was one. There was only one more explanation Rosie could think of. 

“What I have come to learn here is that a sinner such as you takes on the appearance and abilities of whatever aspects they had during their former life. You must have been a promiscuous one.”

Aelia hummed.

“I suppose. But after a while, someone stole my heart. 

Rosie chuckled. What did the Radio Demon say to her? He wormed himself deep into her head, it seemed. The overseer of Cannibal Colony raised a brow in interest. While she was curious as to what Alastor had been up to - his seven-year absence was a thing of mystery - she did not pry. The incurable romantic he made a deal with probably did not know either. 

The clack of heels on the floor diverted Aelia’s attention to a woman similar in appearance to Rosie with brown hair. Her smile widened as she saw the newcomer. 

“You brought home a treat, I see.”

“A guest, Franklin,” Rosie corrected. She sauntered behind the counter. “What were you up to?”

Franklin eyed the winged sinner a moment then turned to her business partner.

“Counting the stock before extermination day. Lucifer only knows how chaotic the colony gets before then, buying up everything on the shelves.” 

Aelia raised a brow. What was extermination day? 

“It's business,” Rosie chuckled. “If you are not currently busy, I need you to retrieve something for me; that red vile on my desk.”

Franklin left without a word to retrieve it. After all, the two could finally be rid of it. 

A month ago, one of Alastor’s minions wandered into the shop and gave Rosie a potion in a red vial. The minion stated that a lost soul would soon come to Pentagram City, one that could be recognized by the Radio Demon’s mark. It was not certain whether Rosie would meet them before Alastor’s return, but if she happened to, then as a favor to him, he asked that she give them the vial. 

It was after all just a simple means to transport Aelia to wherever he currently was. Rosie could easily transport her, but she did not know where Alastor was staying. 

Once Franklin returned, she handed the Overlord the vial and hurried off to finish her current job not knowing that soon her number would be up.

Rosie turned the glass vial and sat it upright on its pointed base, chuckling as Aelia stared in awe. 

“This is a gift.”

Reminded to never look a gift horse in the face, Aelia picked the vial up and widened her eyes as the vèvès around her wrist began to glow.

“What is in this?” She asked. 

“A little magic mixed with blood and some water to help it go down easier,” Rosie answered honestly.

Aelia nearly groaned in disgust.

“Thank you. I guess.” 

Rosie chuckled. 

“You are most welcome. It was not me who wanted you to have this vial though.”

Aelia thought so. 

“Who? Was it the one who put the vèvès on me?”

It made the most logical sense, considering the symbols reacted to the potion. 

“There is only one way to find out. You need to drink it,” Rosie remarked. She reached over the counter and brushed the sinner’s hair behind her ear. “But first, let's make you more presentable.”

Snapping her fingers, the clothes that Aelia wore manifested into a navy blue evening gown with white lace. She was not much of a dress person, but she appreciated being out of her prison clothes. Her wings even fit through holes in the back.

“Thank you, Miss Rosie.”

The said woman motioned with her hand for Aelia to continue. With hesitation, she did so, removing the stopper from the top and putting the vial to her lips. As she drank, Rosie tilted it back making sure she consumed it all. The taste made her want to gag.

“Now what?” Aelia asked with a grimace.

She did not feel any different, though her tattoo was glowing. 

“Goodbye, dear. I do hope we meet again,” Rosie remarked with a wide grin. 

Before Aelia could attempt a response, the world around her vanished. Then in the blink of an eye, she materialized in the living room of a lodge. 

That was…quick.

But where was she?

Aeila sauntered over to the closest window and looked outside. The sky still appeared red, so she assumed she was still within the city limits, though she could not see a single house in either direction; all she could see were leafless dead trees. She had not noticed it before, but the sky had a large pentagram in it.

As she took in the scenery, a sudden dark and ominous shadow loomed over her. Then all at once, the buzzing sound of radio static filled the air. 

“Salutations,” a voice greeted. “I admit, I was not expecting you so soon.”

Alastor. 

Aelia felt faint. Her wings raised in elation and she turned quickly in the hope that her mind was not playing tricks on her. 

In the doorway to the kitchen, a slim well-dressed man with a shark-like smile stood. He tilted his head to the side, observing her. Based on her appearance and the fact she was standing before him, he reckoned Rosie had found her. 

“Didn't I tell you not to fret?” 

Aelia widened her eyes, unaware of the hearts in her pupils. It was him; he was standing before her.

“You're not just a voice on the radio?”

“Indeed I'm not. But let's not sweat the details,” Alastor remarked. “Tell me, how do you feel about Jambalaya?”

Aelia licked her lips. A strange yet pleasing heat consumed her. 

“I'm starving.” 

#hazbin hotel fanfiction #oc #alastor x oc #hazbin hotel fandom #alastor hazbin hotel #murderer oc #Spotify

[theheroheart]

Everyone's been going off the rails about the Wizard of Oz comparisons, so here's my contribution.

More thoughts under the cut. Many, many thoughts.

Canon references I've seen to Wizard of Oz:

"Coach, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

The Wizard of Oz pinball machine.

Rebecca's red-soled shoes immediately after.

"No place like home" on the pitch banner during a match.

The yellow lego brick under Ted's chair.

Roy's tie-dye shirt looking exactly like the swirl that begins the yellow brick road. (Unhinged, frankly.)

The biscuits being yellow bricks. (A stretch, but even so.)

The fact that in the upcoming episode, it LOOKS LIKE they might be watching The Wizard of Oz for movie night.

Further thoughts regarding character comparisons:

You could argue Ted and Beard are Dorothy and Toto. That's valid. Since we see Rebecca with the red shoes, maybe they're both Dorothy? They are soulmates after all. But...

Ted as Wizard because he's the one helping Jamie/Roy/Nate find their brains/heart/courage that they had in them all along.

And because the Wizard was originally also from Earth, then bumbled his way to Oz and became their leader, despite not knowing what he was doing, nor belonging there.

"You've got some sort of food that can teleport you back home?" Rebecca looks at the biscuits, which are yellow bricks, guiding her to the wizard aka Ted.

We've seen Rebecca wear red-soled shoes twice, and you need to click the ruby slippers THREE TIMES to go home.

You can have Rupert be the Wicked Witch if you want, I'm not currently sold on that beyond being the antagonist to Dorothy. (Does that mean Toto is Keeley?? I mean she's equally adorable.)

Nate being the cowardly lion also supports my theory that he'll return to coach Richmond when Ted leaves. (If you wanna be a stickler for the comparison, Jamie/scarecrow would be the coach with Nate and Roy assisting, but that seems highly unlikely.)

The wizard returns home, but accidentally leaves Dorothy behind. When Ted returns to Kansas, will Rebecca follow? (The Wizard/Professor does show up Dorothy's house at the end.)

Some of this feels far-fetched, which is the same thing I've had a problem with all along. I'm certain Ted's returning to Kansas, and I feel like they really have built up Tedbecca so hard. But how does it make sense for Rebecca to give up Richmond?

Please please share your own ridiculous theorycrafting. ♥

(Thank you to Kat and Ro for helping me go full rabbit hole on this theory, and also to twitter people sharing the canon references.)

#tedlassoedit #ted lasso #the wizard of oz #theodore lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #nathan shelley #ted lasso meta #ted lasso season 3 #my posts #my graphics #i wish i had the time and energy to make some properly nice gifs #but i wanted to get this out before this episode #so this will have to do

[mx-lamour]

Thinking about making Death House the way my adventurers get sucked into Barovia. They get wind of a super creepy haunted house that no one wants to deal with, because anyone who has ever gone in has never come back out.

Either a) they snoop around a bit more and find out that this big old house has only been here for like... a week? or something. Something that puts it well into the realm of Uncanny.

Or b) they just go the fuck on in, and it isn't until they're inside that they start to realize this house isn't from around here. None of the former inhabitants' records make any sense. I don't know any Lord named Strahd. And what's a Barovia?

Either way, once they cross the threshold, that's it. Door slams shut on its own. The windows fog up, if anyone thinks to look, and all they can see out the windows is white (at least for the first few rooms).

When (and if, I suppose) they get out of the house, they'll have a look around and one of them will undoubtedly say, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." But it certainly isn't technicolor out there.

#death house #lamour dms cos #campaign speculation #curse of strahd #ghost house #haunted house #tara i don't think we're in waterdeep anymore #the gale reference was unexpected but i'm leaving it #the wizard of... ov? no that's no good

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Dorothy Gale (The Wizard of Oz)

I answered this ask a while back, but I felt like sharing it again.

Favorite thing about them: She's an all-around likable character; a nice, warm-hearted, relatable every-girl, whose "heroine's journey" is engaging and enjoyable to follow.

Least favorite thing about them: Hmmm... there's not much to dislike about her. Maybe that she tries to run away from home without considering at first how much her aunt and uncle will miss her and worry about her. But since she's just (approximately) a 12-year-old girl and desperate to save her dog's life, it can be excused, especially because she feels so guilty about it later.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I have brown hair.

*I'm sensitive and a bit of a dreamer.

*I love dogs.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I've never lived with an aunt and uncle.

*I don't live on a farm.

*I could never manage a long journey on foot in high heels (though maybe if they were magic, I could).

Favorite line:

"Someplace where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain..."

All the lyrics to "Over the Rainbow."

To Miss Gulch when she comes to take Toto away – a good scene to remember whenever critics accuse the screenwriters of robbing Baum's young heroine of her spunk:

"I won't let you take him! You go away, you....! Oooh, I'll bite you myself! You wicked old witch!"

To the fearsome giant head of the Wizard – more good lines to remember any time a critic labels her a weakling:

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, frightening him like that when he came for you to help!"

"If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!"

And of course, the iconic line when she first arrives in Munchkinland:

"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!"

brOTP: The Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, and their real-world equivalents, Hunk, Hickory, and Zeke.

OTP: Safety and happiness.

nOTP: Any of the other characters; they're all too old for her.

Random headcanon: Her parents died in a fire. This explains why fire and smoke are associated both with the Wicked Witch and with the Wizard's initial frightening appearance in her dream.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think she's too much of a damsel in distress or a crybaby. Now, I understand why feminists complain that she's less spunky and no-nonsense than Baum's original Dorothy. But (a) she's older than Baum's Dorothy – it's natural for an adolescent-ish girl to be more emotional than a small child, (b) she's not without her own spunk – she still stands up to people who behave badly or threaten her friends, and even slaps the nose of a lion (not yet knowing that he's a coward) in Toto's defense, (c) Baum's Dorothy cries fairly often too – I don't know where the myth that she hardly ever cries came from, and (d) with all the danger and turmoil she goes through, I think she's entitled to a little terror and a few tears!

Song I associate with them: What else?

Favorite pictures of them:

#character ask #the wizard of oz #1939 #dorothy gale #judy garland #live action film #ask game #fictional character ask #fictional characters #Youtube

[dangermousie]

This is one of my favorite sequences in early eps for a lot of reasons, one of them being how quickly and economically it establishes that everyone is a pawn in the palace and suffering is universal - it's our early hint that nobody is going to escape this unscathed. Or at all.

Because here is Togon, the official emperor, and in any way that matters, he is as much a powerless puppet as when he was an exile to be killed. He can't even pick who to sleep with when. Because his mother (well, official mother not birth mother, the latter is long dead) has decided he needs to impregnate a particular concubine and so too bad so sad. She was willing to play at "oh attraction how sweet" but when Togon was not interested and went back to his own rooms, she had her eunuch bring the concubine to him anyway and this happens:

And then you hear the Dowager's voice:

This is the first time Togon is forced to fuck a woman he does not in the least want to but it won't be the last. (It's even starker with Tanasiri later.) Fancy clothes or not, he has as little volition about something as basic as who to sleep with, as any of his concubines.

Honestly, any man who can actually get it up and keep it up with that sort of exhortation is talented.

I love the way this scene is filmed with the door acting like the door of a cage, with him utterly trapped.

Like the creep level of his own mother (for all intents and purposes she's as close to a mother as he has) doing this with a full retinue...

The thing is, it's not any better for the "lucky" concubine. It's worse - she has as little volition in this as he does and her life is in more danger. Honestly, they both have as much choice and as much delight in this situation as slaves owners made bang for their fun in Spartacus. With an environment like this is it any wonder that everyone in that palace, from servants to the royals are different flavors of monstrous and fucked up?

The sheer sense of being claustrophobically trapped here...

The way this is filmed, with tears in his eyes and his hand on the wall is honestly the way they film rape scenes in period dramas...

What this needs - a full retinue as witnesses.

I love SN's face during this because it's very much "Toto, we are not in Kansas any more" moment for her.

But also, this is the first time since the Koryeo betrayal where she doesn't just feel hatred for Togon. She is far from abandoning her murder plan but she is beginning to feel unwilling pity for him.

I love her soooo much!

Lady, you just lost. Or seeing that you get to be the empress, won? Both, actually.

#kdrama #ha ji won #empress ki #ji chang wook

[dandylovesturtles]

Toto, I Don't Think We're In New York Anymore for the fic title game

alright so I know that the obvious answer is a Wizard of Oz parody but I think it would actually be hilarious if this were a mid-S1 fic where Leo accidentally portaled them all to rural Kansas

maybe they also get split up into pairs (I'm thinking A Team/B Team split but other splits could be interesting too) and we jump back and forth between each pair as they bumble around some corn fields/a small town trying to figure out how to get back together so they can go home

there's no cell service so they can't just call each other

Raph getting lost in a corn field accidentally creates a crop circle

Mikey is absolutely loving it here, actually, by the end of it he's got like three chickens in his arms and a pig following him around

Donnie gets into some mudding shenanigans with a local mechanic

Leo wants to tip a cow but he doesn't know how to, he also makes way too many Deliverance jokes even though Deliverance is set in Georgia not Kansas

#fic title game

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

THE CONJURING HAS SUCCEEDED. From the abyss, your efforts are initially answered with a whisper. Like wind blowing through the branches of trees, your home comes alive with whistling that sounds ever more like CRIES. It's inexplicable. 

The table SHAKES, threatening to rip itself from your hands and overturn, as it almost seems your home shape shifts around you. It's like it has a life of its own, a mind and WILL fighting to rip and pull wood and metal to destroy your home, your sanctuary, in its own image. Pulling yourself back into your chair, a distant crash and bang catches your attention. 

DOORS: Your front porch has crashed open, bringing a cold wind. Now, HOWLING in frustration, the wind has brought the warmth of your house down to an almost freezing point and an aroma of wood. Grass? Decay but pleasant, earthy, like a walk in the woods. You'd expected disease and rot, but it never comes. No, the wind carries leaves and paper, but you almost feel nostalgic between the sound of the wind, the aroma, and the cold. It takes you back to walks in late autumn and visits to forests where the trees spear upwards, threatening to skewer the clouds. You can almost see it in your mind's eye, and with a blink, you're... there. We aren't in Kansas anymore, Toto. 

Standing on the roadside, you are surrounded by quiet, foreboding serenity deep in the heart of nature. No civilization as far as the eye can see, let alone hear. Underfoot, you're clearly standing on a beaten, old gravel road. It's... fitting. Surrounded by pines and fir trees, you feel like you're on a postcard. It would be nice, but, given the circumstances and a growing sense of dread, something in your heart tells you things aren't so picturesque. This deep in nature, no one can hear you scream. 

Still, dressed only in your pyjamas, you know that if you want to return to your home, you won't get that by sitting and waiting for whatever power brought you there to explain. So, you walk and walk. Deeper and deeper into the forest, you hope you're working your way toward a road, but as you come to the end of the line. There is nothing more than trees knitted tightly together through growth and darkness. You couldn't crawl through them if you tried. You move to turn when you hear the howling from before and the whispers. You're frozen, out of the corner of your eyes, you see her, a hand at first, dragging itself out of the ditch at the roadside. You don't move; your gut wants to run, but you can't; you can only squeeze your eyes shut, trying to protect yourself from a horrific sight you can't unsee. But something supernatural settles over you; she means no harm. You hear it in a voice that isn't yours before you can question it. She speaks,

" Hello? Who's there?! I have a tire iron!—"

You expected something rasping and broken, but no. This person sounds normal but frightened. Something in her voice belays a kind of flightiness masquerading as confidence, like a cornered animal trying to persuade you with its claws to back away. You feel confident enough to open your eyes then and are greeted with a small woman that seems like a time capsule of the 80s, a mess of long, curly hair styled back in a ponytail, blue eye-shadow, puffer style jacket and high-rise jeans. She could be an extra on stranger things; you wouldn't question it for a second. Beyond that, she seems decidedly NORMAL from the angle you were observing her. In a similar situation as you?

"—Listen, there's nothing here for you, and I don't want any trouble! Just turn around, and we can go our separate ways, okay?! No harm, no foul! "

Weird, with how she's talking, it's almost as if she doesn't seem to see you? You can feel able to move then, your body unfrozen, and you approach, a quiet 'hey,' being met with the sight of this mystery woman freezing, as if startled, then slowly turning, both looking directly at you and through you. Then you see it, her face, oh god, her face. 

It all comes back to you, then. The notes, the case, the newspapers—how could you have forgotten? You feel like an idiot for a second. How the obvious flew over your head is beyond you, it doesn't matter. 

#🦌 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄. || this time she never returned #horror rp #dbd rp

[spinchip]

NEVER THE DARK

Chapter 4

read on Ao3

Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

Warnings: the beginning of the body horror portion of the fic, every realm of Madness inhabitant is going to have a body mutation

WHEN LOVE BECOMES A STRANGER// DO YOU THINK THERE IS GRIEF BORN// IN ANY GOD'S HEART?

Tumbling headfirst into another Realm is never a graceful thing. Head over heels from asphalt to open air, cartwheeling out of a brilliant purple-edged portal to land in a heap on muck and uneven earth. Kai hits the ground first and Cole thuds on top of him, then Lloyd, Nya, and Jay top off the impromptu doggy-pile until there's a thoroughly kai-shaped imprint in the mud. Cole hurries off of him, toppling the other three off and into the mud as well. Above them, the blinding brilliance of the portal snaps shut- and Ninjago vanishes with it.

Nya leaps to her feet, spinning around and swinging her fist at nothing, "Get back here!" She snarls, eyes blazing as she looks for the woman, it not yet sinking in what exactly happened.

Groaning, the other ninja gather themselves up from the ground, brushing off questionable gunk. Kai shrieks when he realizes it's in his hair, frantically combing out top soil. Jay stumbles to his feet, making a face as his foot sinks into peat-soft earth. Shaking his leg out as he hops away from the soft ground, he finally gets a good look around- and his heart skips a beat.

“Uh, Toto? I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” He says with a half-hysterical laugh.

The world is black and purple lumps, shapeless masses of wet earth stretching up into a sky so red it seeps like blood across the horizon. Purple clouds swirl in a shifting, undulating mass above their heads, almost alive in the way they seem to breath and flex. Like the grotesque twisted bodies of massive, bloated creatures lumped together in a tomato soup sky. Broad, flat stones break up the mud sporadically, and where there’s mud there's tall hooded black plants with hanging serrated leaves- sharp enough to cut and bleed, with big bioluminescent pitcher plants grown up from the roots waiting to catch the gore of whatever unfortunate animal strays too close. Curling and thick mist pools on the floor, floating and twisting around their ankles as they move closer to one another, huddling against the humidity and smell of rot and swamp-water.

If there is a sun, the atmosphere is too thick for them to see it. Light bleeds through red and purple, shifting and dappled as the sky above them changes. The ninja feel a wave of dizziness overtake them, as if the floor beneath them was unstable despite how they did not waver on their feet.

“What is this place?” Nya asks, raising a hand to her forehead to try and steady herself. “We’re clearly not in Ninjago. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Lloyd looks around grimly, his mouth set in an unhappy line. His furrowed brow smooths with shocked realization and he turns a shade paler than he was a moment ago, looking around again as if to confirm his suspicions, “Guys, I think… this is the Realm of Madness.”

“The Rea-'' Cole does a double take, “The Realm of madness!?” He demands, looking around wildly, “But Wu said this place is bad news!”

“A place where evil flourishes.” Kai agrees, recalling lessons taught about the dark realm.

“This does look pretty evil.” Jay taps one of the black plants and jerks his hand back, sticking his now bleeding finger in his mouth with a yelp.

“Don’t touch anything!” Lloyd orders immediately, “Let's not lose our heads, guys, we have to get back to Ninjago before that woman does… whatever it is she’s planning on doing with that gauntlet. Think! Wu said most of the Realms are connected in some way. We can get out of here and back home through that connection.” he taps his chin, trying to recall exactly where Wu had told him the portal home was, “When Uncle Wu came here to get my father, they traveled back to Ninjago using a portal in the Mountain of Madness.”

“So all we have to do is find that portal and jump through?” Jay clarifies.

Nodding, Nya slaps her fist into her open palm, “Yeah! That’s right, I remember Master Wu telling us about that trip.”

“Great!” Cole cheers, “Now, which way?” He spins around and waits for direction with his arms akimbo.

There’s a long, healthy pause. So long in fact, that it loops full circle into being unhealthy again.

“Uh, Lloyd? Which way?” Kai prods.

Lloyd adjusts one of the clips in his hair awkwardly, “uh. I don’t… know?”

A heartbeat passes.

“You don’t know?” Jay parrots in disbelief.

“It’s not like Wu gave me a map! Or that there are any particular landmarks around here to follow!” He says defensively, gesturing at the formless lumps around them.

“Well, what are we supposed to do?” Jay throws his arms out looking panicked, “Pick a direction and start walking!? Ask a mud monster for directions!? Sorry we took so long to get back, Pixal, my Latin is rusty!”

“Why would mud monsters speak Latin?”

Jay whips around to pin Kai with a slightly manic look, “Is that really the part you’re stuck on?” He demands.

On the bulge of earth to their left there’s the sound of boots squelching on wet earth. The Ninja are in formation seamlessly, any residual panic packed up and put away in order to present a united front, backing into each other to face whatever creeped up on them together- though it's no monster that pokes its head over the ridge. It’s… human. With cheeks still round with what his mother would call baby fat, a man with a face like an apple with the rosy cheeks to match peers down at them. His hair is pitch black and slicked down against his skull, his pencil mustache quirking up with his smile as he takes them in. His eyes flash with an excited gleam.

“Hullo, new faces! May I offer my assistance?” He crows down kindly at them.

“There are humans here?” Cole asks dumbly, relaxing.

His guard slams back up when two large, spindly, hairy appendages slam into the mud beside the stranger's head. With a smile on his face, the humanoid raises himself up- more legs scuttling up the muddy hill until he’s floating on top of the hill, suspended entirely by the mass of arachnid-like legs protruding through his clothes, growing out of his body in unnatural, painful looking tangles. “Mostly!” He says with a playful wink. He sees the look on their faces and gives them a sly smile, “Didn’t your mama teach you not to stare?” He laughs then, crossing his dangling human feet primly at the ankle, “I ain’t that ugly.”

“W-what are those?” Jay demands, pale as a sheet.

The man frowns, lowering himself to stand on his own two feet, allowing the additional legs to curl up around him like a bird's nest, “We haven't had anyone as wet behind the ears as y’all in years, now.” He looks around and Cole jumps when the pair of black slits above his eyebrows open to reveal a set of red, beady eyes, “It ain’t safe to talk here, anyone coulda seen your portal. C’mon, follow me back to my camp, I’ll explain everything on the way.” His voice takes on a note of urgency as he scans the horizon.

He pins Lloyd with an earnest look, “Not everyone is as friendly as I am.”

Lloyd glances at the others and then looks around the clearing. They were in a bad spot- no cover, and if the man's words were true, they’d announced their presence to everything- and, apparently, everyone in the realm. The others look to him, awaiting his choice.

“Lead the way.” He says firmly, and the man motions to follow before scuttling off on several sets of legs.

Only once the ninja have scrambled up the muddy hills after him and caught up with his pace does he speak again, “The name’s Maurice.” He tells them over his shoulder, smiling, before pressing a quick finger to his lips to signal that- for now- they needed to stay silent. He doesn’t ask their names and doesn’t seem bothered to know them. Up close, Lloyd can just make out faint pink lines along the corners of his mouth and another set of eyelids hidden in his eye brows. He’s dressed in an old, threadbare trench coat and dark pants and boots.

He doesn’t speak again, leading them quietly for what feels like hours while hyper vigilant of their surroundings. He looks around often, double checking to make sure they weren’t being followed. Despite their burning questions, the ninja follow his lead and keep quiet, keeping their eyes and ears open just in case. Maurice looks back at them occasionally, checking to see how they were faring endurance-wise with their long trek and extremely fast pace. He’s lucky they’re highly trained ninja, or they would have been so exhausted they could barely move by this point.

“What’s with the legs?” Kai asks point blank once Maurice begins to walk with a bit less urgency, even if the ninja were still jogging to keep up.

Maurice shoots him an affronted look, “It’s impolite to ask about someone's mutations.” Despite his words he continues, “You’re in the Realm of Madness now- soon enough you’ll be growing extra limbs or sprouting horns too.” They’d covered enough ground that the mud was beginning to turn solid and rough. Clumps of strange colored sand and loose gritty stones begin to pull at their feet as they leave the bog behind.

“Mutations-?” Nya falters, “What do you mean?”

“It’s the nature of this place. Us veterans, we call it entropy. The air, the food, the water; it all changes you in random, disorganized ways. I’ve been here a while. That’s why my case is as severe as it is- still, I'm thankful. I’m one of the lucky ones, they say!”

“Thankful!?” Jay squeaks out, “You’re thankful for those!?” he gestures wildly at the spider legs.

Maurice looks nearly amused, a gleeful look glittering in his eye that seems unrelated to their conversation, “This is a realm of chaos. Out of all the infinite possibilities, of all the ways this place could have screwed me up, I think an extra set of limbs ain’t too bad a hand to be dealt.”

The fog thins as they begin to trek across a barren flatland. Massive, spindly looking plants reach up from the pink sandy ground, straight and thin and piercing the sky, opening up above them into a flat canopy of dry and wilted looking flower petals. The petals refuse to touch each other, crown shyness forming pathways of light between each plant and offering sporadic cover from the overcast sunlight. Potholes and craters litter the ground, seemingly dug out by some sort of animal- not one the ninja were interested in meeting. The sky turns a deep red and the world grows a bit brighter through their walk. Maurice humms, tipping his head up to enjoy the warming light. The mud and darkness from the poison bog has changed completely into a desert made up of pinks, red, and purples.

In between the flower trees, masses of stone and rock grow sharp and jagged up from the ground, creating several spots of shelter from the light and casting long shadows. The ninja keep their guard up when they pass the dark spots, wary of what surprises the realm has to offer.

“Is this… still the Realm of Madness?” Cole asks, looking around. He glances behind them, but the fog prevents him from seeing too far back, and strangely enough their footprints seems to be disappearing despite the lack of wind. Cole blinks, the realization coming to him randomly- there’s movement beneath them, he can just barely feel it through the connection with his element. It’s shifting the sands and hiding their tracks- not the purpose, but a byproduct of the change. The fog that seemed to roll randomly, thick one moment and thin the next, was moving in conjunction with the ground beneath them. The air around him is heavy and thick, but it doesn’t move.

“Of course, why?” Maurice asks, tipping himself back on his legs to look at the ninja upside down.

“I honestly thought this place was just… the poison bog.” Lloyd admits, looking around in wonder. It’s not pretty, no, the colors are ugly and raw and muddy, but it’s so starkly different from what he’d been expecting.

“Poison bog…?” His face crunches with confusion before he gets it, snapping his fingers in realization, “Oh, you mean the Wastelands? That’s just a small part of the realm. Where you come from, does every place look the same?”

Nya inclines her head, conceding his point, “Well, no, it doesn't.”

“How’d you end up here, anyway?” That’s Kai's voice again, “As far as we knew, the Realm of Madness was uninhabited.”

Maurice flips himself back upright, stepping over a particularly large pothole with ease as the others are forced to skirt around it. Cryptically, he says, “I was sent here.” and he doesn’t elaborate.

The ninja share a questioning look amongst themselves, their hackles starting to raise. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jay prods.

The spider mutant shrugs, “It means what it means. No one comes here willingly, we’ve all been sent.” He glances back at them, “How’d you end up here?”

A long pause before Lloyd grudgingly says, “We were sent here.”

Maurice’s lips curl into a smile, another point made. He looks forward again and makes a chittering, purr like noise. Pointing to a lump of rock jutting out from the ground he announces, “Here’s home! The entrance is right around this rock!”

Lloyd feels a rush of relief, once they get to his camp they can ask for directions and then head out. The guy was starting to set off warning bells in his head and Lloyd didn’t trust him, he wanted to head their separate ways as soon as possible. He slows down to walk beside Nya, conferring with her quietly, “Does this guy give you a bad vibe?” He asks under his breath.

Squinting, Nya takes a moment to analyze him, “Well, the spider stuff certainly doesn’t help his case… but honestly? He seems like he’s actually trying to help us.”

Humming, Lloyd hurries along after him. They round the rock to see it’s another of those cave-like overhangs. There’s a fire pit glowing orange with a freshly lit fire, a gathering of ratty looking blankets formed into a well-loved nest, and a few other odds and ends like hand-made pots and pans, a bucket full of water, and a stack of books that make the place seem more homely. Everything's bar the fire pit is laid out on top of a thick layer of dried and discarded petals from the flowers outside, the leaves spread out as insulation from the cold ground.

Maurice stops cold, entire form going still before he very slowly lowers himself to the ground to stand on his own two feet. He’s tense, surprised.

In the middle of his camp, sitting at the fire with a bag slung to the ground next to him, is a man with his back turned to them.

“O- oh.” Maurice squeaks out, startled, “Birdy. Hi.” He wrings his hands nervously, glancing back at the group behind him with a panicked look in his eyes, “I wasn’t- um, expecting you for another few days.”

The man leans away from the fire, turning to face them with a smooth masked face- he goes dangerously still when he lays eyes on the party before him. This only serves to make Maurice more anxious, “They- we- I saw them come through a portal, I just thought i’d… help… them?” He shrinks in on himself, shuffling uncomfortably.

The ninja bristle at the sight of the stranger, and Maurices attitude towards the mystery man make their hackles rise dramatically. Maurice was scared of this guy. Lloyd takes a step forward and the ninja follow his silent guide, fanning out around Maurice, “Is this guy trouble?” Lloyd asks firmly, glaring at the man.

As if Lloyds voice had snapped him out of whatever possibly nefarious thought’s he’d been having, the man stands up from the log he’d been sitting on immediately. The bag stays at his boots, but as he gets to his feet he brandishes his weapon- a long naginata with a wicked curved blade on the end and worn leather straps along the staff-like portion of the handle. He rises to his full height, easily towering over most of the ninja, even possibly having an inch or two on Cole. His shoulders are made broader with a spiked pauldron on one shoulder and a massive feathered cape hanging off the other, dressed in dark grays, white, and blue his outfit all leads into his masked face. It’s a flat piece of sun-bleached white bone, lines carved along the cheeks and forehead down the bridge of the nose with detail marks along where a hairline might be. The eyes are carved out and filled with blue glass.

Maurice had called him Birdy, and the name was fitting. Each carved line of the mask lended itself into the brow of some bird of prey, the design leading gracefully into the suggestion of a beak and feathers.

Standing in front of the fire like he was, he blotted out the warmth of the flames. His silhouette swallowed up the light and outlined him in flickering orange and red, in reflection the blade of his weapon turned the color of blood. Huge, formidable, and threatening. Maurice cowered away from him and Lloyd reaches for the hilt of his sword, preparing to fight.

Maurice hesitates, “He’s not any trouble.” He admits with an uncomfortable shuffle, Birdys presence is enough to make his facade crumble as his mousy voice turns forlorn. His tone is that of a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Then why are you shaking?” Kai demands, not taking his eyes off the silent shadow of a man. Cole was beginning to doubt the man could talk at all.

“I will not allow Maurice to harm you,” The man's voice is deep and rough, cutting across the distance between them like a hot knife, “And he knows I will stop him with force if necessary.”

“And also,” Birdy adds as Maurices shoulders stoop and he bows his head, “Because he has disappointed me.” His voice isn’t menacing or cruel, but genuinely sad like a teacher and his student.

“I’m sorry!” Maurice cries, clasping his hands in front of him to show his heartfelt remorse, “I tried to resist! You know how bad my cravings get! I was going to be nice, too, I promise- I would have only lured in one!”

“Lured in- what!?” Nya demands, backpedaling away from the short man.

At the campfire, Birdy raises his staff and sweeps away the leaves in front of the fire to reveal a large dug-out hole covered in a net of spider-silk. A pitfall trap. He doesn’t say a word, just grabs the bag at his feet and launches himself over the pit in one smooth jump. It would have impressed the ninja if they weren’t currently distracted by their guide's sudden betrayal.

“The fact that he never asked our names makes a lot more sense now.” Jay comments.

Lloyd joins the others as they back away from the spider hybrid, pulling out his weapon in preparation for an attack. Maurice bristles at the site of swords and hammers, the pale pink line along his mouth splitting open to reveal a set of ugly black mandibles that drip with black poison. He hisses, standing himself up on his arachnid legs and raising himself up above their heads menacingly. He opens his two other sets of eyes, looking around at the group wildly, on edge and afraid. In an instant he seems to transform into a terrifying monster, the polite would-be-murderer revealing his true nature.

Birdy says, “That’s enough.” His voice like steel, stepping between both parties. He’s attempting to look completely at ease, but his shoulders are tense and he’s holding his staff tightly. He looks at the ninja for a moment before turning to stare down Maurice, who backs down at his firm tone. He takes the bag and holds it towards the short man, “Here.” He says sharply, “Blood potatoes. It’ll help.”

Maurice takes the bag gratefully, his mandibles sliding back inside his mouth and his eyes closing as he lowers himself once more to his feet, “Thank you.” He says sincerely, inclining his head and holding the bag to his chest, “I owe you.” He says it like a promise.

“You owe me nothing.”

“I owe you!” Maurice sing-songs and, with one wary glance over his shoulder towards the ninja, he slinks away. He uses his spider legs to easily cross the web and cozies himself at the fire, digging into the contents of the bag eagerly and immediately dismissing the scorned ninja from his presence.

Kai huffs out a harsh breath, “He’s gonna try and kill us and then act like nothing happened!?” He demands, rocketing forward to give the mutant a piece of his mind.

Immediately a hand lands on his chest, Birdy strong arming him back towards his friends, “Please calm down.” He requests politely, “You are in the Dark Realm,” He reminds him evenly, “This is a place where the unforgivable are banished. You cannot be upset with everyone who considers raising a hand against you.”

Kai pushes the hand off his chest sharply but before he can reply, Birdy adds quietly and only to them, “You cannot win in a fight against him, Kai.”

“Uh, I think we could have handled him just fine.” Kai says crossly, hands on his hips.

“That is not the only trap he has prepared around his camp. All that he requires to come out victorious is trip you up long enough to bite you. There is no antidote- if he even grazes you with his fangs, you die.” Birdy explains bluntly, “You will not win, not without casualties.”

Jay and Nya go very quiet, losing their fighting spirit at the sound of spider venom.

“You two seem awful buddy buddy,” Cole says hesitantly, gripping his hammer tighter.

Shaking his head, Birdy passes his staff between his hands a few times, “I… understand him. This place changes you, makes you not yourself, and can even make you do things you would not do under normal circumstances. I bring him blood potatoes from the redwoods. True to their name, once you boil them down they taste like blood- it reduces cannibalistic cravings in people with predatory mutations. His hunger drives him to do terrible things.” He looks at Cole evenly, “I am helping him, but we are not friends.”

“That’s true,” Maurice chimes in, raising his voice to be heard across the sand, “I tried to eat him when we first met. The funny thing about Birdy, though, is he’s the type who makes you want to be better- even if you don’t deserve it.”

Birdy looks over at Maurice, “You are not a lost cause.” He says firmly.

Maurice waves him and the other away, “Leave me alone.” He’s focused on fixing his dinner, “And just so you know, i definitely would have eaten you if my fangs could get through your skin.” He says pointedly, as if to prove Birdy's faith unfounded, before tuning out of the conversation completely.

“Is that your mutation?” Nya jumps on that tidbit of information instantly.

“It’s impolite to ask about someone's mutations.” He parrots Maurice earlier, but doesn’t elaborate.

Jay puts an overwhelmed hand to his head, “I think I need to sit down.”

The man holds out his hand politely, “I’m Birdy,” He introduces, waiting for Lloyd to reciprocate the hand shake. Birdy glances at Jay and then turns back to Lloyd, “I can take you to a safe place to rest, if you’ll allow it.'' His facial expression is unreadable behind his mask, but Lloyd can tell he's making a conscious effort to appear non-threatening. Unlike Maurice, Birdy doesn’t set off any alarm bells in Lloyds head- he’s had enough experience with betrayal to be able to pick up on this stuff. That's what Lloyd likes to think, anyway.

Affronted, Kai scoffs, “After what happened with him, you think we’re gonna just follow you? Thanks, but we can take care of ourselves.”

“Why would I have saved you just to turn around and kill you?” Birdy shoots back immediately, and despite the fact he should have been on the defensive, his voice holds a note of amusement. Kai does not like that, eyes flashing as he takes the tone as mocking.

Lloyd cuts in before the conversation can devolve more, “He’s got a point.” He says, then takes a long moment to study the man. “...He saved us from becoming spider food.”

Lloyd looks to his team, gauging their reactions to see what they’re thinking. Nya and Jay look unsure. Expression slightly thoughtful, Cole is simply studying Birdy as if trying to figure himself out. He seems more open to the stranger than the others, something about the man's words or actions having convinced him he’s trustworthy. Lloyd notes to try and talk to him later and see what he’s thinking.

Kai crosses his arms and squints at the man for a long moment, before pointedly turning away.

But Lloyd is the leader, and this is his job. He made the hard decisions- it was his responsibility and his alone.

“I’m Lloyd,” He tells the man, stepping forward and gesturing to each of his team in turn, “And these are my friends Kai, Nya, Cole and Jay. We’ll come with you.”

Nodding respectfully, Birdy chokes up on his staff until he’s holding it down low, resting the blade on the sand and petals to scout out any potential pitfalls he’s unaware of. Feeling a bit foolish, the ninja follow him in a neat little row like a group of ducklings, waddling slowly behind him until Maurices carefully scattered flower petals thin back into the pink of the desert. Birdy holds his staff like a walking stick now, the heavy weapon sinking into the sand with every step.

Not quite sure what to say, Lloyd walks in silence.

#ninjago #ninjago never the dark #lloyd garmadon #jay walker #nya ninjago #kai ninjago #cole ninjago #zane julien #ninjago oc #ninjago au #body horror #arachnaphobia tw #the ninja finally!!! meet birdy!!!!! #birdy time!!!!!!!

[nifflering]

THE BUMBLING FOOL - an essay/rant

(contains spoilers for The Wizard of Oz and Doctor Who episodes “Utopia”(s3/ep11) and “Sound of the drums” (s3/ep12))

To begin, I present to you some context…. So, recently I saw a post by @monica00 who posted an excerpt from the Master’s diary. The “MASTER OF ALL I SURVEY” is composed of several diary entries written by Simm!Master. In one of them, Day 42, he mentions carving the faces of several of his regenerations (Delgado, Ainley, himself and the “Wizard of Oz”) into Mount Rushmore. This led me to ponder who he’s referring to when talking about the wizard of Oz.

So, after thinking a bit, I finally figured out that he was talking about the Master as portrayed by Sir Derek Jacobi / the War Master. And that led me to composing this handy (and probably not that well written) list? Analysis? Essay? About the parallels between the character of “The Wizard of Oz” and Professor Yana/the Master.

Note: My information on the wizard of Oz is partly taken from deep crevices of my brain and the “Wizard of Oz” wiki, so I might be mixing up several portrayals of the character. Also, this is my personal interpretation, so yeah…

Enjoy, I guess…

This rant is dedicated to my current Doctor Who obsession and of course to @roxannepolice, my motivation for writing/ actually publishing this. Many thanks to you for feeding my thoschei obsession with your content and (ask game answers) and exsisting.

After Dorothy arrives in Oz via hurricane, she desperately “wishes” to get back home to Kansas. The Good Witch informs her about the approaching threat of the Wicked Witch (who is going to chase her down and try to kill her because she crushed her sister, the wicked witch of the east, with her house and stole her magical shoes. Which are all pretty valid arguments If you ask me.). Glinda says that in order to go home she should ask the “Wonderful Wizard of Oz” for help. Dorothy (having just killed someone) and her dog, Toto, go on their merry way, following the yellow brick road to the Emerald City.

On the way there she meets several other characters who also have a deep wish they want fulfilled by the wizard. There is the Scarecrow who wants to have a brain, a tin man who wants a heart and a Lion who wants courage.

After some tribulations they are finally able to have an audience with the Wizard, who appears as a giant floating head – in return for fulfilling their wishes the Wizard demands the Wicked Witch`s broomstick. (Character who appears as a giant floating head - Just like, oh, I don’t know a certain other character played by Derek Jacobi, cough cough the Metatron, cough, cough)

They defeat the Wicked Witch and return with the broomstick; he tells them to come back tomorrow – but Toto pulls back a curtain and the group discover that “The Great and Powerful Wizard” is just a guy operating a projector machine. He is projecting an image of himself, the image of a giant powerful magician capable of doing almost anything. When confronted with the fact that he is a humbug, he admits that he is but says that he’s – still a good man at heart. Although he promised to grant their wishes, he merely gives them “tokens” of the things they actually wanted. For example, a heart shaped clock for the metal man and a diploma for the Scarecrow.

The wizard finally decides to go home to Kansas, the same way he got there - in a hot-air balloon. He also offers to take Dorothy with him, fulfilling her wish. This ultimately doesn’t work as Toto runs off and Dorothy goes after him. Just before departing he makes Dorothy’s companions the rulers of Oz – effectively dumping all responsibility on them. In the end Dorothy manages to get back home with her magical shoes. However (depending on the version) Dorothy has fulfilled her wish on her own, none of her other friends have actually gotten their wish granted.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Let’s take a look at the parallels between Yana and Oz.

“Utopia”, is the only episode Yana and Jacobi!Master appear in, it takes place on a desolate planet called Malcassario at “the end of the universe”, a time not even the timelords have reached.

Ten, Martha and Captain Jack (don’t ask me why he’s here just roll with it) go to explore and find nest-like structures carved into stone. Remnants of a civilisation that used to live here long ago. They get wrapped up in a hunt, a (human) man is being chased by the Futurekind, a tribe of savage hunters with sharp teeth. They join him in running to the only safe place around – a silo. Later a guard confirms that this is the place to go if you want to go to Utopia – the ultimate salvation from the end of the universe and the infinite darkness that surrounds them.

They later find out that a scatterbrained scientist called Professor Yana (and in extension his malmoothian assistant, Chantho) are supposed to make the rocket that’s supposed to take them to Utopia (a call which “came from across the stars over and over again. Come to Utopia.”), fly. The thing is, they have no clue how to do that – not that they are not scientists – but they do not have enough energy to lift off.

The surviving humans yearn “to preserve [themselves], to find a way of surviving beyond the collapse of reality itself.” They have come so far, survived all these great hardships, lost their friends, family, lives, everything. They presumably see Yana as a saviour, the one who will lead them to Utopia “where the sky is made of diamonds”. Yana is even willing to sacrifice himself for them, staying behind as the rocket takes off.

Every single human left in existence is relying on them to survive. They all want something from him. He is their own personal version of “The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz”, able to grant their deepest wishes/ they are projecting their wishes and hopes on him. They aren’t scared that the myth of Utopia isn’t true but they fear that they won’t survive long enough to reach it.

(As I’m writing this I kind of realize that the Doctor (or the Master) can relate to all these humans, just like them they have lost everything, their home plane and their friend. But the doctor still hasn’t given up hope he’s still running away, desperately clinging to any human who wants to travel with him and secretly wishing that the last words of the Face of Boe “Know this, timelord. You Are Not Alone.”, are true.)

There are also some parallels between Martha and Chantho. In a private conversation while the doctor helps Yana power the rocket, Chantho reveals that she has known the Professor for a long time and that she adores him but does not think he notices. This kind of parallels Martha’s relationship with the doctor, she’s also in love with him but knows that this love will never be reciprocated, she’s not even sure if he’s noticed it. But, ultimately the loyal Chantho gets electrocuted by the Master after he has recovered his memories – blaming her for not noticing or asking about the watch (which contains his true identity) sooner. She falls to the floor – seemingly dead – but manages to shoot him in her last breath.

Her wish for love has not been fulfilled.

Let’s get back to the humans for a second: as soon as the Master becomes himself again, he lowers the protective measures against the Futurekind, locks the Doctor and Jack in the control room and removes a circuit board from the navigational system to Utopia. The rocket’s flight path is interrupted in the fate of the humans is left unclear. (At least until Sound of the Drums but isn’t the toclafane’s existence, bound to a singular metal dome a never-ending thirst for blood ingrained deep within you, a fate worse than death? Are they even human?)

The Doctor’s next, we will ignore Jack because he doesn’t really fit into the grand scheme and he’s literally just forcing himself into the plot.

Throughout the whole of new who up to this point it has been established that the Doctor is completely and utterly alone in the universe. In the episode “New Earth” (s2/ep1) a Novice teases the last words of the Face of Boe which will only be given to someone like him “a wanderer. To the man without a home. The lonely God.” In Gridlock (s3/ep3) he tells Martha about the time war, “There was a war. A Time War. The last great Time War. [..] They lost. Everyone lost. They’re all gone now, my family, my friends, even that sky.”.

Like I already mentioned, The Doctor is constantly craving companionship – he has throughout all his lives, especially in the new series he wants to alleviate the pain of the time war, the crippling loneliness that claws at him every second of every day, no matter how much he tries to escape it.

When Yana hears of a scientist, “a doctor of everything”, he is immediately overjoyed, he rushes to greet the doctor and whisks him away to his laboratory. He quickly introduces him to all his equipment but despite the doctor’s massive intellect, he can’t even think of any solution. Yana is obviously sad but apologizes, saying that there’s been “so little help”. To me this immediate joy and desire to meet the doctor is also partly the masters. He feels lonely as well – as reflected by Yana’s own feelings - “Never could keep time. Always late, always lost. […] Time and time and time again. Always running out on me. […] Oh, it's only an old relic. Like me.” Yana desires rest – eventually his own wish gets fulfilled, just like Oz escaping from Oz and going back to Kansas.

Generally, the Chameleon Arch creates a personification of some aspects of the user`s personality, for the Doctor his “worse traits” get amplified, for the Master his “better traits” are amplified, he’s willing to sacrifice himself just to save someone he doesn’t know and is kind to everyone he comes across.

When the Doctor sees Yana’s inventions, he’s starstruck. He’s finally found someone like him – an equal. “Oh, it's easy coming in at the end, but you're stellar. This is, this is magnificent. And I don't often say that because, well, because of me.” He recognizes how underappreciated Yana is in this time – “If you'd been born in a different time, you'd be revered. I mean it. Throughout the galaxies.”

They briefly take a break to talk about the constant never-ending drumming Yana hears in his head and this iconic look™ happens.

When Yana opens the watch and turns back into the Master, ten rushes to get to him, he begs him to open the door, to let him in “I'm begging you. Everything's changed! It's only the two of us! We're the only ones left! Just let me in!” But, the Master, the only other person like him in the entirety of the universe, escapes with his own Tardis.

The Face of Boe’s prophecy and the Doctor’s wish have come true. He’s not alone anymore.

But it doesn’t last as the Doctor (not even two episode later) has to watch as the Master dies in his arms refusing to regenerate because it would mean having to spend the rest of his lives imprisoned wit” him.

He’s alone again.

Professor Yana just like the Wizard has a lot of responsibility. They are both good men at heart. But are still not able to fulfil the wishes of the people relying on them.

But at the same time, they are both humbugs.

A humbug, as defined by Miriam Webster, is “a false or deceiving person or thing, a fraud”. Both Oz and Yana are humbugs in both meanings of the word. They are both “false people” with the Wizard being merely a projection controlled by Oz and Yana literally being a “false person”, a fake identity created by the Chameleon arch. They are both good men at heart – they want to or at least try to fulfil the wishes brought before them – but they both deceive their “subjects” – so they’re more morally grey. Yana tries his hardest to build a rocket and a system to power it made out of food scraps. He’s using technology the Doctor has never even heard of. Yana may be a good person, but ultimately the Master is not.

In the end, Jack, Martha and the doctor barely manage to escape with Jack’s vortex manipulator – his red sparkly shoes.

And that’s it. If you’ve managed to make it this far, you receive a “virtual” participation trophy, congrats. 😊 Have a good day and....

Until next time (maybe?)

#doctor who #Kansas = Gallifrey confirmed??? #you know it's serious when i pull out the dictionary defintions #this is what you get when you have watched Utopia too many times #a win win #I would say #if someone has a better title #hit me up #Beyond excited for rogue encounters

[breakerwhiskey]

050 - FIFTY

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Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static] (siren sounds) [click, static] Can you hear that? (siren sounds) [click, static] There’s um—there’s a tornado. There’s a goddamn tornado. [click, static]

When it first sounded, I thought it was an attack siren, like the ones they used to play for school drills. When we’d have to hide under our desks and clutch onto the table legs like that would save us from a nuclear bomb.

[click, static]

I don’t know who they thought they were fooling.

[click, static]

I can’t believe I’m in actual fucking Kansas and there’s a tornado. It feels too cliche to be real, somehow.

[click, static]

Everything I know about tornadoes, I know from The Wizard of Oz. (chuckles) That’s really not fucking helpful at the moment, is it? I don’t have Toto or ruby slippers or a basement to hide in.

I can’t remember anything about what you’re supposed to do in a tornado other than going into a basement. But the siren started going when I was on the road and like I said I thought I was—I thought we were, you know, under attack because its the same goddamn noise, um, but then I—I saw in the distance—and you know, there’s nothing around me. I pulled over obviously but I don’t know if I should be driving away or if I should be looking for a bridge or an overpass...I think there’s something about bridges. They’re either the worst place to be or the best place to be.

[click, static] Really fucking helpful, I know. [click, static]

I’ve already gone on a journey to a strange land, you know? That’s what the world feels like—like waking up in technicolor after being in black and white but...um, the reverse I guess. If I get caught up in the tornado, do you think I’ll go back? To the way that things were?

[click, static]

Back? I don’t know what I’m saying. Back where? I didn’t travel anywhere, there’s nothing to go back to unless I can figure out a way to invent time travel and stop whatever it was that happened.

[click, static]

I keep thinking about hell. In the sense of...is this hell? Sometimes I get that feeling of unreality, the strange sensation that I’m somehow outside of myself, looking at myself from just off to the side. It’s gotten worse since I left Pennsylvania. Maybe I really should look in the mirror more often. I barely even use the car mirrors, it’s not like there’s other drivers to be aware of, and maybe that’s the problem, there’s so little to be aware of around me that I feel hyper aware of me.

[click, static]

But what if we died? What if we died when we were trying to get away and all of this has been a kind of purgatory, a terrible punishing afterlife from a god with a twisted sense of humor?

[click, static]

Never mind, I’m just wigged out. The sound of the sirens is, um...it’s spooky, you know? Eerie. I guess that makes it a good warning system for tornadoes and potential nuclear threat because there’s something in the sound that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

[click, static]

It’s rattling me, somewhere deep down, in some hind brain that triggers my fight or flight. The tornado is still really far away and...

[click, static]

I thought—I thought I saw a tornado, but I can’t—I can’t see it anymore, but, who knows, maybe the emergency system is just malfunctioning but the sky looks so terribly gray, a kind of gray that’s got a little bit of green to it, like the atmosphere itself is feeling sick.

[click, static] I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. [click, static]

#breaker whiskey #audio drama #episode #transcript #Spotify