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scientia-rex · 1 year

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It’s a very weird feeling to finally, after literal decades of working towards becoming an unstoppable juggernaut, finally find myself at a point where other people are also realizing that I’m becoming an unstoppable juggernaut. But they never see the potential still remaining! They look at me where I am at now, a rural doc who can change clinic policies that affect thousands of patients by virtue of being one of a handful of docs willing to work out here, and they say, wow, it’s so great that you’re using your influence like this! And I’m sitting here going you think this is IT? You think I’m going to stop here? You really think, after all that very literal blood and sweat and tears, I’m going to say, well, that’s enough. I got one clinic to do a training. I wrote a couple of articles. I got a few doctors to reconsider their approaches. Hell no! I’m still climbing. I’m still pushing. I’m consolidating my solid ground. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the short-sightedness of so much ambition—do you have any idea how much you hamstring yourself by it? Give yourself time! Give yourself ten years, twenty years, thirty years. Build something massive. Build a fortress that a few weak slings and arrows can’t take down. I put in the work every day since I started med school right and a half years ago, I’ve made myself virtually unfireable, and I’m still at the beginning of my career. It isn’t sexy to show up every day and do the petty and menial tasks as well as the grand ones, to eat shit from smug old white straight cis men who think having a cardiologist AND an orthopedist on a committee counts as “diversity,” to have to plan when you can cry and when you can poop to avoid making your team angry—but now I’m the fucking attending. Now I get to say, “I want it like this,” and people listen. I get to start righting some of these massive systemic wrongs—just little ones, tiny ones. But if I start working on the pipelines for rural docs, for people of color who want to be doctors, on opinion pieces that a small handful of people read, on textbook chapters used to train a new generation how to think, on residency policies, I can start chipping away at this huge edifice of Modern Medicine that once seemed impenetrably white and male and straight and cis. I trained with a trans woman who’s a doctor now. I trained with a non-binary doctor in residency. My residency class had more doctors of color than white doctors. Things ARE changing and they are changing because we MAKE them change. Because we show up every day with a ball peen hammer, like Andy Dufresne at Shawshank, and we are chiseling our way to toppling this edifice. The more I work, the longer I build up this social capital, the more people in the community I make nice with, the more I network, the bigger the changes I can make.

Years ago in residency I wrote a poem and I said “I am throwing my whole life against the glass to see it shake”—we worked on the ninth floor, with huge windows, in an oddly squalid wing—and I am still doing that. It’s wild and joyful. See what change I can make. Fling myself at it. Throw myself at the ground and miss.

#the attending dr. kristophine

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blackcatsnstrawberries · 3 months

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Post HOFAS Thoughts

Obviously everything below here is a spoiler, so read at your own risk.

This isn't going to be in any particular order, just as things pop into my head.

What I liked

How Bryce and the ACOTAR characters weren't buddy-buddy at all. It's was more realistic that both groups would be super hesitant of the other

Nesta's characterization- wonderful, stunning, powerful. This is the Nesta that ACOSF deserved and didn't get.

Bryce and Nesta's reluctant friendship, I loved that these two misunderstood women were able to create even just a minimum bond

Az and Nesta asking about the cell phone, amazing (BC)

Understanding the death mask and it's abilities more.

The information dump about Theia- I did not like how much of it there was to process BUT I loved how the characters saw the evil the Fae had brought with their colonization and did not try to bury that.

Bryce stealing TT, Az wasn't giving that up and it would be out of character for him to do so (unless he was giving it to his mate (🌷)

I kind of liked the Sassy Asteri (Verperous?)

Ruhn cracking jokes about two angels and a Fae walking into a dungeon- hilarious

Lidia's arc was interesting seeing as she has murdered and tortured people before she defected, but SJM was able to give her a redemption arc where people aren't forgiving her for that past, but seeing her for trying to make amends in the present/future. That is a hard arc to pull off.

Lidia nuzzling Ruhn before running off my god my heart

Hypaxia dumping Celestina (good), getting thrown out of her coven (bad) and THEN becoming the head of the HOFAS? Yas Queen! Slay!

Hunt working through his PTSD and Bryce giving him tough love about it, either you're with us or you're not. I know it's harsh but with what was going on it was realistic.

Ithan becoming prime

Sabine dying and being thrown into a sewer. TBH the sewers deserve better.

Hypaxia in general. No one in this series would be anywhere without her. I said what I said.

Tharion stepping up to marry Sathia (was that her name) More on this f*cker later

This one is weird: the torture chamber. SJM made that as messy as possible. She did not have to mention the poop and pee on the floor (these things happen during torture, but it's not exactly sexy for 3 characters to be rolling in it) so props to her I guess? Told you it's a weird one

Bryce and Ruhn taking down Fae Kings and making Avellen a Fae paradise WITH PEGASUS!!!!

The Princes of the Pit. I want them to have their own series omg.

LIDIA TORCHING POLLUX AND EVERYONE

Did I mentioned wanting more of the Princes of the Pit?

Bryce killing and Asteri by hand. Again, slay Queen.

Sahar coming in at the end and helping Hunt save Bryce

JESIBA! My girl sacrificing herself for her assistant (I laughed while crying)

Nesta and Ember's relationship

Bryce dismantling the Fae monarchy.

Ruhm calling Rhys something along the lines of "that High Lord dude." Yes. Excellent. More people need to do this.

Bryce and Hunt being endgame. Forever. Full stop.

What I didn't like

Bryce seemed to lose a few brain cells in this book...like opening the sarcophagus of an Asteri is dumb...

Bryce hearing Azriel when he was following her and Nesta- Cassian even said in ACOSF that unless Az wanted to be heard, you don't hear him.

Az using his power to try and bind the Asteri- bb no. They absorb that, did you also lose brain cells since ACOSF?

THARION YOU DUMB MF. This man pissed me off so much with all his bad choices one after another since the end of HOSAB.

Sigrid? Like...what was the point of her? Literally it was WE HAVE A NEW FENDYR ALPHA! Oh no I accidentally decapitated her....like what?

Ariadne was there and then not and then there. Ok?

Pollux.

Ithan's b plot, which I understand why it was there, really slowed down the pacing.

All the middle fingers? Why was everyone just flipping everyone else off all the time?

Also lines like this showed up a few times, "it could have been minutes, years really." When something was happening...like what?

I love me spicy scenes, they were awkwardly placed in this story.

RUHN AND LIDIA JUST LIKE NOT CARING THAT DEC AND FLYNN WERE MISSING?

What I think will happen next

SJM said we're getting more CC books, I am thinking they are going to focus more on other potential couples now that Bryce and Hunt's story has seemingly ended. And I swear if Bryce is pregnant in the next one...

I think a big all out war is coming (in ACOTAR) against the Asteri/Daglan somehow, and all characters from all three world with go to Prythian for a battle

Lidia is absolutely a decedent of Aelin and Rowan so that has to play out somehow.

Lidia's kids are going to become important- I am wondering about their bio dad because it's said he was a shifter, and this is me being all conspiracy theory but: What if their bio dad was a descendent of Fenrys? They are twins, one with fair hair (Fenrys) one with dark hair (Connall) and we don't know their abilities yet...it's a reach but I am calling it

Monarchy systems of government suck, democracy all the way, but uh here's to hoping SJM writes one in that works better than what most democratic countries have (looking at you USA)

The emo like Reaper that Hypaxia used to compare samples to, I am curious if he is going to turn into someone/something in later books. Just the whole scene seemed like he would become important later on. I don't know it's just a feeling.

As I have more time to process and marinate with this book I'll probably add more. In the end I'd give HOFAS a 3.5/5 it got bogged down quite a bit with exposition, characters just making dumb choice after dumb choice, and plot lines seemingly leading to nowhere. Bryce and Hunt remained a really strong FMC/MMC lead, my fav of all the series, the side characters were mostly interesting and kept everything going (looking at you Ithan) but all and all, I enjoyed the book!

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matbaynton · 10 months

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tagged by @baynton thank you!! 💙

8 shows to get to know me better

1. BBC GHOSTS

copying nat here to say that this is also where the mat obsession started 😈 my friend hallie (who i will also be tagging to do this obviously) got me into it and i cannot thank them enough for giving me the brainrot! i've watched this show.... idk how many times now i'm constantly rewatching it but i still laugh (and/or cry) every time. don't think i needed to know how absolutely FERAL and UNHINGED and RABID i was capable of being, i swear i was normal before i saw thomas thorne. i WAS, and no one can disprove that so just believe me 🤡 he is my sopping wet babygirl pathetic chewtoy and i love him.... so much..... and i want to d*e on the button house property and become a ghost more than anything in the whole world. anyway this show is fantastic and it changed my life and there isn't a single bad main character!

2. STRANGER THINGS

not sure if it's because i watched this show the year it came out (and on the night before/night of my 18th birthday, so it ended up being the best birthday i've had in years which is. still true lmao) but it continues to hold such a special place in my heart, and i can't truly explain why. gonna be honest seeing that winona ryder was in it immediately made me want to watch (and i love joyce byers + jopper a normal amount) i'm also really into horror and gross shit and this show really delivers on that sometimes, it's fantastic 🫡

3. THE OWL HOUSE

i don't think i can talk about this show for too long without crying lmao, but for a silly starter: THERE IS SO MUCH GOD DAMN FUCKING PURPLE IN THIS SHOW IT IS VERY PLEASING TO MY EYEBALLS!!!!! i'm a huge blubbering baby when it comes to the found family trope and this show has that! not to mention the incredible lgbt+ rep that truly shocked me to my core. i've also never related to a fictional character more than luz noceda, it's almost unsettling. still haven't watched the finale because i'm in denial about it being over and fuck disney channel for cancelling it.

4. DOCTOR WHO

besides glee and pretty little liars (that i'm surprisingly not putting on this list for reasons) this was one of the first real tv shows i've gotten into. my friend and i stumbled upon it on netflix (back in the ancient times of the early 2010's) she wasn't into it AT ALL but when i went home i immediately started watching the rest of it. i love all of the doctors/companions/eras in so many different ways, and every time i rewatch this show it feels like home <3

5. YONDERLAND

99% of the characters in this show are complete dumbasses and i'm truly here for it,. also seeing mat as so many different freaky sexy characters fixed me made me worse. HOWEVER.... the felt puppets still strike fear into my heart, i've gotten somewhat used to it but i still want to scream and poop my pants whenever i see them.

6. COMMUNITY

as we've established i'm a fan of the found family trope (even the FUCKED UP PROBABLY MENTALLY BAD FOR EACH OTHER kind of found family) besides how funny this show is (and how much i love troy and abed AND WANT WHAT THEY HAVE MORE THAN ANYTHING) it was also the first time i interpreted autism portrayed in a somewhat better way than i had ever seen before on television (of course abed being autistic isn't technically canon, hence "interpreted") but i really appreciated it and the fact that he IS canonically the most mentally stable in the group is incredible and i love it. will NEVER forgive them for making a felt puppet episode though, it haunts my nightmares.

7. SANTA CLARITA DIET

drew barrymore plays a zombie milf and timothy olyphant plays her hot husband who helps her kill shitty people to eat. wtf else do i need to say? it's a masterpiece and i wake up every day hating netflix for cancelling it

8. TOO MANY SPIRITS

YEAH THIS IS A SHOW! I'M COUNTING IT AS A SHOW! i knew i was going to put at least one watcher show on this list because i love these idiots so dearly. i chose too many spirits because the amount of times i've almost (😐) pissed myself from laughter watching these morons get drunk and tell stupid stories is TOO MANY..... spirits! like the name of the show! too many! too many times 🤡 anyway

tagging (no pressure to do it!) @larryrickard @reysorigins @softdavidrose @karura @captainsjack @jugheadscrowns @bejeweledantihero @hannamarins

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grigori77 · 1 year

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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 58

Matt Mercer, destroyed before he can begin ...

Oh gods ... not more terrible French Sam ... look at Marisha, she's already losing it completely ... and now there's a ghost? WTF? Wow ... so good and SOOOOOO BAD both at the same time ...

Yes. Give them ALL a raise!

New game! New system! CANDELA OBSCURA!!! Ooooooooooooh ... yes, gimme gimme gimme! Especially with added Robbie!

Yes. Everything that follows will be CHETNEY'S fault ...

Aaaaaaaaaaah! Roll initiative! Already! Aaargh!

Battlemap's already nightmare fuel, not good ...

Travis: "if everybody rolls zbove a ten we'll win!" Sam (to Ashley): "So what'd you roll?" Ashley: "Six." Oof ...

This thing screams and INSTANT psychic damage? Ooooooh fuck ...

Go off FRIDA!!! Badass round!

"Eyeless teeth and mouths swirling in space"? Dear gods, Matthew ...

Blood Curse of Bloated Agony! Sweeeeeeeeet ... and TURMOIL!!! Yes! And WOW nice damage ...

Legendary Action? Shit ... CHEW?!!! Oh fuck ... OUCH!!! DOUBLE FUCK!!!

No Sympathetic Bond for Fearne? Ashley (angfily amused): "What the fuck?!"

Angry butts ... hmmm ... and "moist", "glistening" ... gods, please SOMEBODY STOP THEM BOTH!!!

Matt: "Big risks, Big rewards, big ... fuckery if you fail!"

"PUSH THROUGH THE SLAW!!!" Oh my fucking gods ...

Roll a 22 or tank ... Laura: "Well I got ONE of the numbers!" Yeah ... she rolled a TWO ... "No! I don't do yhat!" I DO NOT blame her for wanting to retcon THAT mess ...

Lightning damage! YES!!! Tumble down the stairs! NOOOOOO!!!

Another Chew? 21 points of piercing damage on FCG? Ouch!

No! Not Fearne too! Aaaaaaah! And now she's GRAPPLED too!

Shit. The place is now ON FIRE!!!

Aabria: "How many of its BUTTS fell off?" Matt: "It is now minus 4 butts."

CONSUME?!!! I'm sorry, CONSUME?!!! Fuck that's a lot if rolling ... NOOOOOOO!!! Fearne is DOWN!!! And she has just been fucking EATEN!!!

A DEATH SAVE?!!! Already? 9? FUCK!!! 1 fail already?

Save her! Yes! Do it! YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

Spare the Dying! Yes! Do it! Thank fuck ...

FRIDA!!! Badass protector!

Chetney renders Fearne invisible with his "sexy claws". XD

Travis: "You son of a birch, you BAITED ME!!!"

FCG's new and improved bolt thrower ... is INEFFECTUAL. Balls ...

Spiritual Weapon towel whip attack ... NAT1?!!! Fuck me ...

The Thing is POOPING ITSELF down the stairs towards Imogen. Dear fucking gods ...

Laura: "WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!!! WHERE AM I GONNA GO!!!" Matt: "That's a good question." Ooh, you evil bugger ...

Giant Pacman maw ... no teeth? Just a gummy rend ... BLACK BILE?!!! What?

Oh fuck, roll good, Ashley! Oh no, what is that face, Ashley? 9? No ... and Fearne's gone again! FUCK!!! One failed death save AGAIN!!!

Channel Divinity? Ooooh ... YES!!! Half her HP back! Fearne's back up! Thank fuck ... Nice one, Deanna!

Spiritual Weapon ... Deanna conjures a mystical DivaCup! Which doesn't do ANYTHING!!!

Fearne (now awake): "I can't see my hands ... I CAN'T SEE MY HANDS!!!" Chetney werewolf: "You're invisible." Fearne: "Oh."

Rot! ROT AWAY, YOU FUCKER!!! Nice one, Fearne.

Aabria: "I don't like short-form improv. Get the fuck out of here."

Chewing on FRIDA!!! NOOOO!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!

Shit! The fire is now becoming A PROBLEM!!!

Flaming crossbow bolt! Yesssssss, FRIDA! A miss? Balls ... second hits, though! Phew ... plus Sharpshooter! Cool ... 21 points altogether thanks to the fire! And it DOESN'T LIKE the fire! Good! Use that!

Matt: "You might take some fire damage if you stay there." Christian: "I always take fire damage when I'm next to Faithful Care Giver!" Cue appreciative yelps! XD

Travis (singing): "REEEEEEEEEAAAD the meat!" Oh dear gods ... and then "treetrunk of skin" ... this is getting so nasty ...

Another Chew on FCG ... aaargh ... 25 points of piercing damage! Sam: "I'm okay!"

Aabria: "BAD butthole!" Laura: "It's horrible in here!" Snort ... Evolution for the WIN!!! XD

Telekinetic Pull ... she's gonna try to PULL IT DOWN into the room WITH HER?!!! Seriously, Imogen?

Fuck, and now it is COMING FOR HER!!! Bite and Constrict! Shit! 29 fucking points of damage! Jeebus!

A SECOND Death Ward on Chetney! Man, Deanna is REALLY upset right now!

The Divine DivaCup finally comes good ... and it's SO BAD ... LOL ...

Aabria: "GOD WHAT A BIT!!! I'm so punished for this fucking bit!"

Fuck ... now IMOGEN's being eaten? FUCK!!! And NOBODY'S SEEN IT either! NOOOOOOO!!!

Fearne goes running, as she should ... Burning Hands! Oh fuck yes! She has a level of Rogue! Bonus action Dash! DO IT ASHLEY!!! YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!! Wait ... it's SECOND LEVEL?!!! FUCK!!!

Still, Burning Hands works ... Ashley gets the HDYWTDT!!! YES!!! She cuts this bitch RIGHT OPEN to carve Imogen out and now it's just a ruined peel ... Nice.

FRIDA's Guiding Bolt lights up the thingy ... but doesn't manage to activate it. FCG follows through ... IT'S OPEN!!! YES!!!

Ooooh, loot! An old satchel ...

Panic makes for poor investigation ... stop getting burned while you insist on continuing to dig!

Oh, this place is FUCKED. Best get out NOW.

Travis: "I stand and take the flames in the name of love!" Matt: "Do you?" Travis: "No." XD

FRIDA's staying? Seriously? And Chetney too ... the ceiling is now cracking? No, it's ... fuck, NEW CREATURE coming out of the old? Fuck ... RUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!

Wow ... some kind of twisted monster dryad thing ... yuck! Sick shit ... FUCK THAT THING IS HUGE!!!

Oh nice, Imogen's telekinesis FTW!!! YEEEEESSS!!!

Getting out of the tower now ... nighttime ... hmmmm ...

Yeet that sucker, Imogen! With a Bless from Deanna ... 31! Oh yes! Proper CHUCKED!!! Right into the fire! Nice ...

Everybody's out now ... and the burning tower is providing light for them. Where's the Wolfking?

Pass Without A Trace at THIRD level now ... just in time, looks like.

Stoneshape to BLOCK THE DOOR!!! Sweet save, FCG!

Mass Cure Wounds! Nice, Deanna!

Group Stealth Check! Nobody better fudge ...

Shit ... bad roll = big tumble for FRIDA ... and now they've been detected again! Here comes the Wolfking!

Just RUN, guys!

Like foglamps in mist ... lovely! Not a mistake at all ...

Over the wall ... wow, that was a MESS. Shit ... oh fuck, here it comes!

So did they make it, or ...

Into the THICK TANGLE of the Savalirwood. Hmmmmmm ...

Imogen's guiding them ... Nat20! Yes! Thank fuck ...

Everybody takes SIX POINTS OF PIERCING DAMAGE just from pushing through the foliage! Fucking hell ...

They've lost the Wolfking ... thank fuck ... Matt: "And that's where we're gonna take a break!"

Holy fuck, that unused Wolfking mini is INSANE!!!

Back to the game ... and an adrenaline DUMP now ... everybody's crashing.

Apparently, 26 is "pretty solid".

Hiding place ... yes. That's what they need right now.

Oh yeah, the satchel ...

Chetney: "We produce heat, y'know." Deanna: "Oh, I don't wanna be horny right now, I'm so tired!"

The satchel IS A BOOBY-TRAP!!! Fuck, that's a lot of damage to FCG ... Travis: "Say it ..." Sam: "I'm okay!"

EMPTY?!!! SERIOUSLY?!!!

Laura: "Ask for Ludinus' notes." Wait ... FUCK!!! It's a Bag of Holding!

Turn it upside down and SHAKE IT!!! Yes ... empty that bitch out!

Lots if papers ... and they're blank. Chetney: "Of course they are ... we need lemons!"

Turn the paper into a human? Is that REALLY a plan you're considering? Matt: "What am I? Kill me! I shouldn't exist!" XD

Smooth wooden rod ... ensuing giggles ... Matt: "It's NOT A DILDO!!!"

Armour ... hmmm ... Matt trying SO HARD to not accidentally describe a strap-on ... and he's failing. Matt: "Laura Bailey, fuck you!" LOL

Deanna can indeed read this ... yes. Here we go ... AND MATT HAS NOTES FOR HER!!! Nice ...

Staff of Dark Odyssey? Hmmmmmm ... wait ... they now have TELEPORT?!!! Oh snap!

Major note-based infodump ... the harness has a purpose here! Hmmmm ... magical infusion ... Fey entities throughout Wildemount ... "Feeding the Route"?

So Ludinus has basically been turning powerful entities into energy to make himself stronger. Fuck. Evil bastard gets even more evil.

History check ... 12 ... Aabria: "I've never read a book. I'm actually OLDER than books." XD

Next batch of notes ... Ruidus stuff! Laura: "Oh shit!"

Sam's flask ... "Where's Vax'ildo?" Oh dear gods ... Sam, WHY?!!!

Oh yeah, Ludinus got up to some SCARY summoning shenanigans ...

Any way to make notes ... ensuing printer humour ... oh, I know this horror all too well ...

Third batch ... a "crystal well"? Hmmmmmm ...

Imogen: "He didn't even know what he was waking up, he just had a hunch." Yup ... pure narcissism ...

Yes. Take the notes back to Uthodurn. Use the staff?

Chetney suggesting either Rexxentrum or Vasselheim ... hmmm ... might work.

Beau and Caleb mentions ... Imogen: "She had abs for days!" XD

Bayestra? What? Hmmmmmmm ...

FCG's right, they KNOW Uthodurn. Might be best ...

Oh, Fearne meant Ivaadel ... I'm blanking ...

Timeshares ... Chetney: "Oh yeah, Menagerie Coast's full of 'em." XD

The Arch Heart ... Emerald Cross? Hmmm ...

Imogen has a good point, they need to GET THE OTHERS BACK FIRST before they do anything else. Go back to Uthodurn and then to Jrusar!

Archmage of Domestic Protection? Ashley's notes are a wild ride ...

FRIDA makes a good point, they're currently A MESS. Best rest first before going ANYWHERE.

Oh, here we go, jumping into a dream odyssey again. Hmmmm ...

Christian had something MADE?!!! Aaawwwwwwww ... what? So cuuuuuuuuuute ... Sam snd Christian, matching hoodies! :3

The lighting change! THE LIGHTING CHANGE!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!

Sweet, soothing memory lane ... FRIDA's past is warm and friendly ... Laerryn? Oh, here we go ...

Still nothing concrete ... glimpses of war ... going deeper ... Nat20! Nice, Laura!

Oh ... oh, this doesn't look good ... what are they DOING?!!! This is some hairy shit ...

10 ... Laura: "That's a scary roll!"

Ah, so this is a defensive action? Hmmmm ... pushing back to see what they're defending ... a contraption of great immensity ... hmmmm ... "Protect the Factorum!"

Oh shit ...

The Factorum Malleus ... ah yes ... of course ...

Fuck ... so D REPAIRED FRIDA as well as resuscitating them ...

FRIDA: "I don't feel better, I feel ... ominous. It feels OMINOUS."

Chetney made FRIDA a little wooden ACTION FIGURE!!! :3

FRIDA starts crying oily tears ... and Fearne just HAS TO try and TASTE that stuff! XD

Need to find more friends ... and need to find THEIR FRIENDS ... yeah ...

Chetney cheering distraught Deanna up in the cutest way ... :3 And he made HER a sweet little shell carving too. Awwwwwwwww ... and YAY!!! HUGS!!!

Oh shit ... is Deanna REALLY considering trying out crazy werewolf sex?

Oh lawd it's actually happening ... and it's filthy kinky ... and Fearne gives her blessing! LOL Wait ... Fearne is actually TAKING PART?!!! Dear gods ...

Lots of crazy noises in the night ... hmmm ... (snort) XD

Oh, the morning after discussion is something else ... XD I agree, this episode suddenly got so horny ...

So ... off to Jrusar? Okay ... or Whitestone ... hmmm ... decisions decisions ... wait, ZEPHRAH?!!! Really?

Ask the Changebringer? Okay ... oh yes, best to be PRECISE about this shit ...

Ooooh ... oh, this is different ... oh, a much more PROPER contact this time ... he's actually getting a genuine COMMUNION with her this time ... Holy shit, a voice on the wind? Awesome ...

FUCK!!! Orym, Laudna and Ashton ARE STILL ALIVE!!! WOW!!!

FCG trying to find out about his future with FRIDA, if it will be long ... WHOA, this just got intense ...

A proper plea for aid from a god ... wow ...

Wait ... what's happening to Deanna? Aaaaaah ... oh ... wait ... OH!!! It's the Dawnfather! Sweet! Okay ... He's pretty intense with it, but ... yeah, she's into it. XD Whoa ... The Red End? Hmmmm ..

Oooh ... the Changebringer coin's all shiny now . Holy shit! MATT GAVE HIM A FUCKING CARD FOR THE COIN!!! AWESOME!!!

Deanna gives Chetney her Ring of Temporal Protection. Sweet!

Imogen accepts Fearne's offer of the fancy staff. And the other one's a Plane Shifter? Intriguing ... oh, and Chetney gets the Bag of Holding.

Wait a fucking minute ... did CHETNEY make that MURDER FURNITURE from the first episode?

THAT'S what RTA stands for? Seriously?

Okay, so ... Imogen tries the teleportation staff ... oh boy ...

Go find Zhudanna? Yes. Good choice. Or Spire By Fire? Hmmmmm ...

Wait, it does her PSYCHIC DAMAGE when she uses it? Fuck ... and here ... we ... GO!!!

Matt: "And we'll pick up there next week!" Shit ...

Sam is rolling a D100 with Matt and we CAN'T KNOW what the result is? You bastards ...

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onetimetwotimesthreetimess · 1 year

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chaotic lrhwy snippet plzzz

“Would you still love me if I was a lizard?”

“That just means I get to keep you in my pocket and carry you anywhere. So it’s a yes,” Alec says without any thought whatsoever.

“Would you still love me if I suddenly grow four more arms?” Magnus challenges.

Alec’s grin widens, “more arms for you to cuddle me. I’m in, baby.”

Magnus rolls his eyes affectionately. “What if lose all my hair? Would you still love me if I had no hair.”

“Of course. You’d look very sexy all bald. And we can get you a wig for when I want to run my fingers through your hair.”

“What if I become a pigeon and keep on pooping everywhere?”

Alec pauses before replying, “We’ve been dealing with Chairman for so many years. I can deal with a pigeon.”

Magnus straightens, and Alec knows he’s going to pull some more whack shit.

His boyfriend asks weird stuff like this all the time, but Alec knows it’s more than that sometimes.

He is building the conversation up to something.

Alec wants to jump inside the screen and hug the man.

“I miss you, baby.” He says after some time.

It’s been four months.

It never gets easy.

Magnus’s eyes soften and he smiles, “I miss you too, love.”

“Two more months.”

They stay silent for sone time before Magnus speaks again.

“What if I sell the label and start a yatch business?”

“More money for me,” Alec grins. “I’m dating you for the money, remember?”

“What if I become a stripper?”

Alec pauses. “You’d look so fucking sexy as a stripper.”

Magnus hesitates, “okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I want to be a stripper.”

Alec blinks, waiting for the punch line but it doesn’t come.

Magnus looks serious this time.

“Baby?”

“I want to be a stripper. I’m serious about this, Alexander.”

#don’t ask me what this is plsss #LRHWY

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lumpiya · 2 years

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redacted asmr as adventure time quotes pt. 3!!

but this time its not just the shaw pack because i now know the damn boys ;)

—————

david: of all histories greatest monsters you by far are the most evil thing i’ve encountered

angel: :D

—————

milo: *cutting his hair to change up the look for a bit*

sweetheart: *sobbing* nooo… your beauty is destroyed…

—————

damien: before we go in, how good are you at quietly throwing a tiny bit of fire?

fl: uhhh what

damien: like on a scale of 1-100 how good are you at throwing a tiny bit of fire at a rope 15 feet away

fl: uhhh

damien: scale of 1-100

fl: … 42…

damien: FORTY-TWO??

—————

ash: *yawns and stretches arms up* good morning madness!

ash: *takes blanket off of him and looks at his get* what?! broken leg again??

—————

hux: what do normies do?? like… get smoothies or something?

—————

lasko: permission to speak freely?

fl: granted

lasko: THIS HORRIBLE DUMP DOES NOT MEET THE LEVEL OF FANCY TO WHICH I HAVE BECOME ACCUSTOMED.

fl: noted.

—————

gavin: ahem…

ivan: baby do you hear something?

*ivan turns on light*

*gavin, fl, and caelum just standing there*

gavin: good evening

—————

*lasko and hux trying to sneak out of damiens place without him knowing they were there in the first place*

hux whispering: is he awake?

lasko whispering back: why are you talking???

hux: im wondering if hes awake

lasko whispering louder: well if he’s awake he can definitely hear you talking!

hux whispering louder: im. whispering.

lasko: well now we’re just both quietly screaming

damien: i can hear both of you.

lasko still whisper yelling: disguise yourself foo!!

*damien turns on light just to see lasko with a lamp shade on his head and hux in the sexy pose*

damien: what are you bozos doing in my lair??

hux still whispering: dude i think he sees us-

—————

christian in a dream: what? where am i?

david: christian! you’re alpha now!

christian: oh my god! *happy dance*

—————

angel: THESE NUTS TELL ME HE MUST BE EXECUTED

babe: •o•

angel: would you like to hear WHAT MY NUTS HAVE TO SAY

babe: that wont be um… necessary-

angel chasing babe around with a bowl of nuts: LISTEN. LISTENNNNNN

—————

hux: awwww dont let those gnomes and illusions get you down. they’re just gnomes and illusions *wiggles fingers*

—————

(david and ash find a catapult)

*david pulls down launcher*

ash: oh is it a chair? a chair for my butt? *sits on launcher*

*david lets go*

ash: WOAH- *face plants*

—————

the department: you must now answer these math questions

fl: MATHEMATICAL!

lasko: freelancer you’re terrible at math…

fl: awww…

—————

(damien and hux laying on the grass watching the sky)

damien: man these clouds are beautiful

hux: yeah man makes wish i never had to poop ever agai-

—————

fl: I DIDNT STEAL IT. I MADE THAT ITEM. MADE IT WITH THE MAGIC THAT I STOLE-

—————

lasko: IM NOT JEALOUS. IM WEIRD.

—————

#redacted asmr #redacted david #redacted angel #redacted asher #redacted babe #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #shaw pack #redacted freelancer #redacted gavin #redacted damien #redacted huxley #redacted lasko #redacted asmr headcanons #incorrect quotes #redacted damn

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littlebosslady7 · 1 year

Note

what do you think vex'ahlia is doing for Mother's Day when she has baby Gwen?

In the early hours of the morning before Gwen wakes up, Vex would have some time to herself first. She'd grab a cup of coffee with a splash of cream or a spot of chamomile tea straight up. She'd give her firstborn fur son some pets. Percy would procure Trinket's morning meat scraps.

They'd share a long, slow kiss. Maybe watch the sunrise. Gwen is a pretty chill beebee until she starts teething and horn growth. Though when she's hungry, she'll definitely let Mum and Dad know. Vex would nurse her. She and Percy handle the burping. Sometimes she gets fussy with that. Percy takes over the pajama and nappy changes.

Vex attempts to meditate. It becomes a daily practice for her in prep for the Grey Hunt each Winter. She gets distracted when Percy does push ups in the corner of their bed chambers and smooches Gwennie repeatedly. A) Shirtless husband B) Family adorableness.

Wolfe and Leona wake up a bit later. The twins are a bit competitive when it comes to present giving, but Vex loves her handmade flower crown and feather pin that Dad didn't help with at all. (whispers he totally did).

They patrol the Parchwood when Danny wakes up. Though well meaning, Percy and the kids burn breakfast amid all the arguing over who wants to do what. Thankfully, their head chef Simon has a back up breakfast spread chicken legs, eggs in a mildly spicy red sauce, potatoes, and other mixed veggies with a quick cinnamon toast should the Lady or the kids want something sweet.

Danny gives her his gift. It's a painting of Trinket and his mate Tovah, but he's four. So if Percy was honest, it looks like splotches of poop with eyes. Of course, they tell him they love it and pin it to the ice box.

Vesper wakes up latest before Wolfe eats the last chicken leg. She sings mum an original song in Celestial. It's beautiful just like her dad. Her piano playing still needs more practice.

There's still disagreements cuz five De Rolo babies, but all Percy has to do is clear his throat or Vex will just shoot them a look, and they'll stop.

They enjoy a nice quiet afternoon at the lake and say hi to Galdric.

By nightfall, Vex and Percy go through the whole night time routine with Gwen and the older kiddos. She melts when he sings a lullaby in Celestial, which he's done for all 5 kids. It makes her heart gooey every time though.

When all the kids are asleep, Percy pulls Vex away to their shared study. To her surprise, it's not for sexy shenanigans. They do share some sweet smooches and hot cocoa. Percy gives her a silver necklace with 6 little hearts arranged like a bouquet. He swears Gwennie helped him pick it out when she pointed to it in the window with her tail.

They start swapping happy stories of their mums, but that makes them a bit sad. So they read a chapter from one of Vex's favorite books, and she falls asleep on top of him on a spare couch they have in their study.

#perc’ahlia #gwendolyn de rolo #cr3 #cr headcanons #d replies

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austincharcoal · 6 months

Text

OCTOBER 2023 MEDITATION LOG

this was inspired by an assignment in my english 101 class. it prompted us to watch/read some mainstream articles/vids about meditation and try meditating for 3 days in a row, then write about it.

Fri, Sep 29 1:05am Watched the Light Watkins TedX video. Interest was piqued when he said that meditation brings a deeper rest than is possible in sleep. Then he went on and on about the difference in biological age when you meditate. Excited to try more rigorous meditation schedule. Meditated 1:35-1:45am, was really nice. Came close to falling asleep a couple times, I am very tired. Felt grateful to be living in the city hearing rain sounds on the street.

Sat, Sep 30 9:01pm Took a break from anatomy notes & electronic music to meditate 10 mins. Had a hard time keeping my mind off [redacted]. The things that were difficult then would be easier now that I’ve matured and relaxed a bit. But [redacted].

Sun, Oct 1 10:38am Tried to do 10 min meditation during AA meeting but had to poop after like 4 mins. Did 10 full mins after meeting ended. It’s easier in the mornings, but I can feel I have lost the groove to a large degree. Still, morning meditation is simpler. By the evening my brain is usually in full pleasure-seeking mode. Mornings I’m usually reeling a bit from soreness and stiffness.

Mon, Oct 2 8:45pm Did 10 mins sitting up. It’s wild how my body is aware that it’s tired but my mind ignores it, until I try to meditate sitting up and have to fight off sleep over and over. Maybe I should turn in early tonight. When I was awake, I was releasing thoughts about food and women, as usual. Laughed a bit to myself remembering how excited [redacted] was to find the “hidden veggies” pasta recipe on TikTok.

Tue, Oct 3 1:19pm Late start today. Brewed coffee then laid down to meditate before drinking it. Lot of sexy thoughts bouncing around! Hard to bring my racing mind down today. Probably because I didn’t sleep well. This is somehow becoming both a mediation and a sleep log.

Wed, Oct 4 9:40am 10 min meditation during morning meeting.

Thu, Oct 5 12:28pm Had been sinking into phone-greyout, scrolling haze, absolute oblivion, and needed a break. 10 min meditation was the only thing that could work. Counted breaths for most of the 10 mins, after english prof. explained during class that counting breaths is the important part of '20 breaths' meditation. It def helped during 10 min meditation. Leg pain was distracting so toward the end started stretching a bit. Feel refreshed and ready to sit down for some studying before work.

Fri, Oct 6 11:52am Watched the Andy Puddicombe Ted Talk. I liked his analogy about knowing you have a loose tooth and continuing to mess with it even though you’re in pain. Meditated for 10 mins. Feel less overwhelmed about how many things I need to do this afternoon. I’m calmer and more apt to work through them in an organized manner without resorting to distractions. Thought about what to say to [redacted], thought about doing dishes and stretching and listening to new Drake album and taking anatomy notes and making a doctor’s appointment. Tried to recenter and focus on breaths a few times.

Sat, Oct 7 10:30am Meditated during morning meeting.

Sun, Oct 8 9:51am Meditated during morning meeting. Thought about my plans for the day (going to NYC to have dinner with my aunt), thought about my mom and my grandma, thought about the family counselor Dr. Prakash who taught me to meditate in 4th grade. Used breath counting to help 'let go' of thoughts and return to quiet mind.

Mon, Oct 9 9:50am Meditated during morning meeting but was kinda drifting in and out of sleep.

8:45pm Went to [redacted]. It got kinda intense but [redacted]. Decided to decompress by meditating together for 10 minutes. It was beautiful and memorable.

Tue, Oct 10 2:10pm Read ½ of NYT meditation article then set 10 min timer to meditate. Lots of thoughts running through my head, I can be so obsessive about personal stuff. Was good to have a break from that, even though I didn’t really want the break, I wanted to keep obsessing. Post-break though, I feel better. Body is really sore since I’ve gotten 17k steps, two days in a row. So before the 10 mins were up I got out of my chair and started doing some stretches with eyes closed. Love combining stretches and closed eye meditation. Definitely feel better now, and my 'mindfulness muscle' is getting a tiny bit stronger each day. I find it easier to return to the centered calmness of counting breaths.

Wed, Oct 11 Didn’t meditate

Thu, Oct 12 10:47am Meditated 10 mins after morning meeting. Really out of the groove today but tried to just count 100 breaths. Thought about chopping wood for work, about sex, about being messy in romantic relationships, about stretching after meditation, about the kid in my math class who seems to be following along better than anyone else.

Fri, Oct 13 Didn’t meditate

Sat, Oct 14 9:45am Meditated during morning meeting.

Sun, Oct 15 2:01pm Took a break from studying anatomy to meditate. Was sort of fighting off sleep part of the time. Said simple prayers to ask for God’s will to be done, and to discover what that will is. Prayed also for a loving and generous spirit in my heart.

Mon, Oct 16 11:00pm Meditated 10 mins after looking at Twitter/Reddit for ~3 hours. I think I need to try 15 or 20 minute meditations because sometimes I find myself totally distracted and overstimulated for more than half of a 10 minute meditation. That was the case this time. At some points I opened my eyes and just stared at the wall to keep from thinking about downtown Montreal, or applying to a Master’s program in 5 years, or how I had a bad attitude at work the other day.

Tue, Oct 17 12:14pm Been feeling emotionally unhinged lately, lowkey lashing out at people. Trying to redirect. Meditation is a good starting place. Meditated 10 minutes and had to stop myself over and over from planning out my day. How much time will I spend in the restaurant working on prep? How much time on schoolwork? Will I have time to pick up a cleaning project? Could I meditate for 10 minutes on the clock? Who will I see there and what will the vibe be when I talk to them? Used breath counting to reel in some of the thoughts. Asked God for help. I have a long way to go toward being centered, organized, disciplined. Please, God, help me make some progress today.

Wed, Oct 18 Didn’t meditate

Thu, Oct 19 10:30am Meditated in morning meeting. Feel at peace with my life, with who I am and where I’m at, with my propensity for anxiety, for mistakes, for seeing things through a distorted lens. I’m gonna keep learning and I’m gonna be okay.

Fri, Oct 20 10:30am Meditated in morning meeting. Had trouble staying quiet mentally. In the meeting we talked about the 'confusion' that exists without a spiritual connection. Thought about how meditation and confusion are like exact opposites. Lot of confusion and noise for me lately. Meditation must be one of the main solutions. Not just meditation but a meditation practice. Prayer as well, I need more of that. Talked about meditation with my sponsor later. He recommended I try the 'toes-to-head' meditation.

Sat, Oct 21 9:00am Made coffee then meditated for 10 mins before meeting.

9:45am Meditated for 10 mins in morning meeting. It felt good to get more time in. Would like to do one longer session but 10x2 was easy and felt very calming.

Sun, Oct 22 9:30am Set a timer and laid on yoga mat to meditate for 10 minutes. Said a prayer for my mom and grandma, who are going through a difficult time. Had to keep returning to baseline as I kept fantasizing about sex with [redacted], who I’ve been texting. Sex is a constant refrain for my tired brain, I think I’m subconsciously convinced that there’s some simple relief there. But intellectually I know it’s never that simple, relationships are complicated and usually come with more stress than being single. Important to talk myself down from these underlying desires.

Mon, Oct 23 Didn’t meditate. Busy day, but I think I need to start finding more time. It’s possible to replace some of my phone-scrolling time with meditation every day, sometimes I just don’t do it. This log is helping me stay accountable and showing me what I need to change to meditate more.

Tue, Oct 24 12:45pm Meditated 10 mins laying on yoga mat. Was really able to start calm with deep breaths, maybe because I was laying down. Often I start with a hectic mind and try to calm it for the first 5 mins.

Wed, Oct 25 10:30am Didn’t meditate? Can’t remember

Thu, Oct 26 11:45am Meditated 10 mins. Sick with a cold, hopefully not worse. Did not want to meditate but do feel a bit better

Fri, Oct 27 9:48pm Meditated 8 mins. Got antsy during the last two. Feeling very baby because the cold is actually a flu or something. Lots of schoolwork to do before tomorrow night. Trying to stay calm and not get overwhelmed.

Sat, Oct 28 8:15pm Meditated 10 mins which led to me napping for another 30. Very ill but still going to work and studying. Sad!

Sun, Oct 29 Did not meditate. Walked for 2 hours listening to an old interview with Brad Phillips, he talked a lot about 12 step program, psychedelic drug experiences, Zen vs. Tibetan Buddhism. Helpful for pondering meditation and how to consider it in my life.

Mon, Oct 30 10:45am Meditated 10 mins after morning meeting. Health is improving slightly. Trying to spend the day doing work, chores, service to others, or meditative things like prayer, listening to spiritual talks, walking. Trying to leave alone the chaotic, noisy things that are really perpetuating my discomfort and dissatisfaction.

Tue, Oct 31 2:03pm Meditated 10 mins after writing for English class, before going for a walk and calling my sponsor. Turns out I had covid. At least it's almost over. Same with October. What's next.

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racingtoaredlight · 7 months

Text

Opening Bell: September 22nd, 2023

Heads up to those of you choosing to dine on delicious Kraft Singles in the near future: ya might get a little bit of plastic in there.

The halls of Congress may soon become, dare I say, sexy?

Speaking of politics, let's check in and see how the Puddin' Ron campaign is going, shall we?

RTARL Canadian Bureau Chief TonyToniToneHasDoneItAgain gets us back to our poop blog roots with this splatterific tale he sent in.

Finally, Apple Watch people are freaks who should be shunned.

youtube

#opening bell #Youtube

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the-spoken-wheel · 1 year

Text

on a whim, I also visited Orbea's website for the first time in a long time, just for poops 'n gigs.

It's funny, I remember when I discovered Orbea for the first time in like 2007 before I moved to NY. There's an amazing bike shop in Westerville, OH (if it's still there, I think it's literally called the Westerville Bike Shop lol) that carried the brand, which I thought was odd since no one else around did. I was there looking for my first good road bike and I took one around the block. Best feeling bike I'd ever been on, and dead sexy to boot.

Long story short, there was no way I could swing the $$ to spend on that bike then and ended up on a Trek 1000, but always swore one day I'd own an Orca.

Yeah, that's not going to be a thing. Their prices have become yet another moon orbiting Jupiter. Even their cross bikes are insane. It's hilarious that $1300 was too much for an Orbea then - was not an Orca, but they made a great entry-level that was that much at the time and I really wanted one, beautiful beautiful bike. More than double that now just to touch one.

I will say component-wise, though, that even their base models have performance gear. No Altus or Deore on their bikes (although the $1800 entry-level Avant does have the Claris crankset and shifters, which seems a little janky for $1800 imo)

If I was a competition rider or was serious about becoming one I might still want one, but in 2023 it's a little too ridiculous to entertain.

#orbea #orbea orca #orbea bikes

0 notes

vengergreentag · 1 year

Text

Comedy: Manipulate

By VeNgeR GrEenTag

People from the church freak out and get angry they get call children... YEAH SLEEPING WITH A MAN... BITCH MOVE YO SILENCE FUCKED UP SO DOES KIDS WITH WHEELCHAIRS FUN TO WATCH AWFUL TO CATCH SAD DECENT FUCK We are weak minded Weak healed And we sucks She is an just emotional bitch which with silence fucks me up She is just fucking freak Yeah time... Yeah sure Guess O..O.O... BE TO THE B.S. BITCH You suck I just break up with gf STRANGE THING SHE WAS NEVER MY GIRLFRIEND JUST FRIENDS MORE THAN FRIENDS JUST SPECIAL STUFF JUST DIDN'T WORKOUT I WAS RUDE LOUD OFFENSIVE AND ANGRY THATS HOW YOU BREAK RELATIONSHIP YOU CALL ME OR BECOME ME! Yo freak be happy that I said compliment to you Because nothing is sexy or cool about you ... Just nothing You suck Your poop is for the museum... But your body and face Put them in the graveyard Where silly folks and fucks deserve to stay Covid19 event is the most awful holiday it ruins a year... It eats other events and its total forceful way to obey YEAH GO AND OBEY MIDGET... FUCK UPS Bitches want to change you The moment they change you They leave you IT GOES AS FUCKED UP AS THAT Here is how you deal with break up Get drunk Start offend Watch porn Masturbate Go to sleep And repeat And you almost get chance to become 20% me... But still have in mind we cut the sharp mind out if the price Wisdom And yeah you almost like me... Under almost I mean you fucking underated down version of me. When girl start smoking after sex... Lets say erectile dysfunction... She had just another bad journey in the bed with a fuck like you... ONCE REALLY? ONCE REALLY? THATS THE BEST YOU CAN GIVE? YOU SUCK ME YOU SHOULD GO WITH 3 HOURS SEX WHICH IS ABOUT HOUR AND SOMETHING SWEET TALK THEN MASSAGE EROTIC TOUCHING GETTING HER PUMPING HER UP THEN AT THE END ONE MORE HOUR WITH FUCKING YEAH SEX YOU NEED TO HOLD ERECTION HOUR .. So I can't shame on you ... Yeah feel the shame Its my fault Its your problem Just keep it down there You erected piece of garbage

0 notes

resident-unsmart · 3 years

Text

it just occurred to me that i’m not invincible. now i’m sad.

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gorillaism · 3 years

Note

Yooo! Could I please ask a headcanon for the Band having a s/o or crush that's bilingual? (If you want a specific language: Portuguese but its ok if you want to keep it general)

Thank you a lot 🤗💖

gorillaz with a s/o that’s bilingual ( separate + ace )

a/n : tysm for requesting!! <3 i didn’t know if you wanted ace as well, so i just added him too 🏃‍♀️💨

reader : gender neutral

warnings : a little bit of flirts, tiny swearing

— 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐭 ( 2D ) 𝐩𝐨𝐭

this boy wishes he were you 😩

stu thinks that you’re so cool that you can speak another language besides english. he even asks you to teach him. poor boy cannot pronounce the words right.

stuart is literally so dedicated about learning another language though. you forgot about stu wanting to speak another language for months and months, but you hear him actually say a couple sentences.

you both mock murdoc in another language so he can’t decipher. 👀

he cannot say swears in another language though. he just tilts his head with an adorable look and goes-

“what does that mean??”

since noodle is literally fluent in all languages, she teases you behind stuart’s back and relentlessly floods you with sentences in another language such as-

“you and stuart are a very, very cute couple.”

“when is the baby coming?”

“bleh, i did not need to hear that.”

stuart isn’t fluent as much as noodle. he constructs baby sentences. so, with that being said, he will constantly ask you what you and noodle talk about.

i’m 90% sure that as soon as stu becomes fluent, after a week of not speaking the language, he’s already forgetting how to say a lot of words.

— 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐬

okay, so murdoc isn’t white. we should all know by now right?

he’s probably bilingual too and can speak spanish, but only when he wants to confuse people. maybe he’ll straight up call someone an “uptight prick” or “a pain in the arse” with a fake smile and hope they don’t understand him (which most of time, they never know).

he thinks that the fact the you’re bilingual is very cool, but he doesn’t take the time to learn your second language. he has no patience at all for that.

murdoc flirts with you though 🕳👨‍🦯

“mmm, you sound rather sexy when you talk like that y’know...”

he may not care enough to learn the language, but just for you, he will learn how to say pick-up lines and suggestive sentences.

if you ever try and tease him, his secret weapon is noodle. he will remember key words and report back to her and force her to decipher.

“they said something like ___, ___, and ___. what the hell does that mean??”

“one of those words is translated to ‘annoying’, so figure it out yourself!”

yeah, murdoc would only learn the language unless he has to (i.e. you say mean things so he of course has to learn how to surprise you and retaliate).

— 𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐥𝐞

you both gossip since she’s fluent in every language!

you talk about the weather, cute clothes, how annoying murdoc is, etc. <3

she thinks you sound adorable when you rant about your day in another language. noodle absolutely wonders why people make your day go bad when you’re literally a precious jellybean to her.

if you mix multiple languages, she’s fawning over you.

“that was adorable!”

“what was?”

“you mixed languages! do it again, please??”

murdoc will always barge into rooms without knocking and will judge you for whatever you do, so when watching tv, you always make sure it’s in a different language rather than english so murdoc won’t know what’s going on.

you and noodle mayyybeee decide to prank others by telling them a sentence in another language means something entirely different in english, but they just won’t know.

because of this, 2D has called an interviewer an “ugly, rancid cow” on accident that was meant for murdoc but 2D was also present in the room and he believed you two nonetheless.

— 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐬

russel probably treats you just the same as anybody else at first. it’s just another cool thing you can do, which he is super in awe of, but he doesn’t go out of his way to tell you that that is wildly amazing.

after a bad day, he’ll probably want to curl up in bed with you and want you to cheer him up in another language, and then ask you what you said.

if you have bilingual friends, he will honestly get a little jealous and that will probably be his motivation to learn your other languages. he doesn’t want to be a third wheel!

russel will probably underestimate learning another language and get discouraged since it’s taking so long, so please cheer him up!

“(y/n), it’s taking so long. it’s probably going to take me months just to hold a conversation!”

“don’t say that! i really think you’re improving, honey.”

please give russel some one-on-one lessons. he just wants to spend time with you and make you proud :(

when he becomes a novice in speaking another language, he will definitely spin you around in triumph <3

— 𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫

you being able to speak more than one language makes ace a little more than jealous...

he feels very insecure. he just thinks of himself as a guy who plays bass and does mild crime. that’s literally it. although, ace would never tell you this.

ace likes the thought of you teaching him. it would make him feel better to know he can do more than 2 whole things.

“really?? you’ll teach me, toots??”

“of course!”

HE IS SO BAD AT PRONOUNCING WORDS LIKE STU EXCEPT A TAD BIT WORSE sos please help him

it took him like a month for him to hold up a conversation that was five sentences worth bc he can’t pronounce anything properly 😩

he has to leave sticky notes on things so he remembers what they’re called in another language. he labels a coffee maker, this bass, even some of your clothes... he needs all the help he can get-

will never tell you this but he thinks your voice when you talk in another language sounds hot soothing

he is a person who finds it funny to learn how to say “poop” and “pee” in another language 🚊🤸‍♀️

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jaspersresources · 3 years

Text

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐘 | 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟓 / ?

𝟏 | 𝟐 | 𝟑 | 𝟒

“ it smells like piss and pop-tarts. “

“ in order to secure baby in your arsenal - you, yourself, must become baby. “

“ honestly, in that kind of weather, I would wanna be in jail. “

“ he/she/they don’t have a job, bro. “

“ GOOD. YOU DESERVE TO CRY. “

“ fuck off, you unfeeling thing. “

“ i was so nervous, i barfed. “

“ why did I have a stroke ? “

“ jUliEt … bE mY fRiEnD …. “

“ I have acne ? :( “

“ oh, we’re still friends — I thought everyone unfriended me when I went to prison. “

“ I’M OUT OF BABY JAAAAAAIL !!! MY PAROLE !!!! I’M GETTIN’ OUT TOMORROW !!!!!!! “

“ I just have many thoughts. “

“ it’s my BIRTHDAY so now I can be a PORNSTAR ! “

“ oh … you don’t have a father. I forgot about that. “

“ jokes on you, I’ve risen long ago. “

“ i’m an adult, i can show my boobies on the internet and nobody can sue me. “

“ i hate underwear. “

“ iiiiii have to poop. “

“ I would also like to exclude [ name ] but I can't because of you two whores. “

“ so this other app says i’m only moderately obese. “

“ have you ever seen my baboon ? “

“ you have a baboon ?! “

“ well I did, but someone stole it. “

“ this is your 10 cents, right ? you gave it to me, it’s not like - it’s not like i brought it from home or anything. “

“ do you want me to take it out of my mouth ? “

“ i forgot my favourite cereal. “

“ i’m kinda sad that we cancelled [ name ] — are/is he/she/they uncancelled ? can we uncancel him/her/them ? “

“ yeah, just because you lost your memory doesn’t mean you can go around pooping on other people’s hospital beds. why did we even save you ? “

“ thanks, nurse coffee. “

“ don’t even get me started on cotton-eyed-joe. “

“ I TOLD YEW NOT TO BRING UP THAT NAME IN MAH HOUSE. “

“ you wanted them earrings, i’m gonna give you them earrings. “

“ it’s okay, it’s a sexy death. “

“ ALRIGHT - it’s REALLY a party in the back. “

“ he’s requested a mullet. “

“ no ! he’s pooping in the hallways !! clean up on aisle five. this is not acceptable. “

“ I don’t feel bad for manipulative lil twats. “

“ thank you, I was an english major. “

“ remember when i sat on the trunk and fell right through it ? “

“ go to AO3 and read a fanfic, you whore. “

#rp meme #rp memes #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #rp sentence prompts #rp sentence prompt #rp resources #rp starters

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clownholemcfannywhistle · 3 years

Text

CreepyPooPooPeePeePasta AU

My BFF and I often do Creepypasta roleplays, but we make the characters act like they’re on crack and 100% change their personalities for humor purposes. Here are some of the headcannons we have (and/or may have in the future) in this AU. This is very cursed; you have been warned. (Content warning: mentions of urine/feces, really REALLY immature humor, NSFW post)

Jeff the Killer

Panty thief

Screams a lot

Sometimes has farts on people’s faces

Ben Drowned

Barely potty-trained

Sometimes takes laxatives so he can projectile shit into the mailbox

Pisses on Jeff

Screams the most out of everyone, like constant all-caps

Dick the size of a cashew, and that’s being generous

Worships the object of his affection to an unhealthy level

Steals clothing from his crush to make a panties quilt that he can cuddle in

Loves sucking titties

Eyeless Jack

Obviously into vore

Underneath his mask, there is no face--just one giant butthole

His face anus has six tongues and hella taste buds

Laughing Jack

Loves using his nose as his crush’s butt plug

If you steal his candy, he will go ballistic and shank you with his tongue, which can become erect at will

Instead of testicles, he has jawbreakers

Slenderman

Requires poop offerings from all mansion residents to stay sane

He bakes shit cakes with diarrhea icing, but he’s the only one who likes them

Not even Offendy is into that shit

Uses his tentacles to wipe people’s asses

“Mmm, I’ll save this for later~~~”

Must be locked in a cage anytime there’s a normal cake for any occasion, as he WILL try to poo on it

Also loves kittens

Trenderman

Just wants to make and wear clothes in peace

Has no genitals, like a Ken doll

Will absolutely hex anyone who even stretches out his shirt

His glasses help him smell bullshit even though he has no eyes and they’re glasses

Offenderman

Terrified of anyone who will stand up to him

Has no understanding of meme culture and will be very intimidated if anyone references a meme around him

Frequently eats spaghetti

Since he’s pale, spaghetti sauce stains his skin

Splendorman

Very annoying

So annoying, in fact, that he got an anonymous present of a baby elephant to keep him company so he doesn’t annoy everyone

The elephant’s name is Jim, and he sharts so furiously he flies around the room with his “shart rocket”

Ticci Toby

Watches so much hentai

Has anime sex dolls and body pillows

Will hiss at anyone who dares touch his anime paraphernalia

Masky

The definition of duality; both a proud cuckold and a possessive yandere for his crush

Says the worst possible things at the worst possible times

Has an altar dedicated to the object of his affection and masturbates to it daily

Hoodie

Joins dating websites looking for exclusively senior citizens

“Looking for a sexy silver Babushka to pull my pre-pubescent moustache”

Loves getting pegged by old ladies

Bloody Painter

Also a yandere but way less obvious than Masky

Makes sculptures of vulvas with teeth and gets off to those

Draws furry foot porn

#cursed #creepypasta #what have i brought upon this earth #creepypoopoopeepeepasta au

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thenovelartist · 3 years

Text

Burned Beginnings, Chapter 10

<<Previous

Six Years Later

28. Napping

When Adrien arrived home that afternoon, he was surprised that the first thing he got was not a greeting from his wife and kids, but a rather tired looking Marinette quickly slapping a hand over his mouth.

“Hi, welcome home,” she whispered with a smile, slowly taking her hand away. “I only just got both the kids down for a nap, so just—” She put a finger over her lips, expression downright begging.

“Okay okay,” he whispered back. He then cupped her cheeks in his hands, pulling her in for a quick kiss. He still wanted his ‘welcome home’ greeting, after all. “That means naptime for us, too. How much time do you think we have?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to jinx it.”

“Good point.” Taking her hand in his, he pulled her towards their bedroom, the two tiptoeing down the halls to keep silent. Quietly as they possibly could, they closed the door and then collapsed onto the bed.

Marinette was quick to snuggle against his side, and Adrien was quick to let her. “Sorry, I smell like bakery,” Adrien commented.

“You smell like home,” she dismissed, settling her head down on his arm and resting her arm over his torso. “It’s fine.”

“Okay,” Adrien said, reassured even though he knew he had to smell like flour and sweat. “You have a rough day, or just exhausted?”

“Just exhausted,” she muttered. “I say we stop at two. Newborns equal ‘no sleep’.”

“You said that after Emilie,” Adrien murmured back, letting his eyes drift shut. “And that was three years ago.”

“I mean it this time.”

“Sure you do, up until you want the next one.”

“Shut up and sleep.”

He smirked. “Will do.”

“And if Hugo cries,” Marinette muttered. “you go change his diaper. I’ve changed it way too many times today.”

Adrien sighed. “Fine. Now shut up and sleep.”

Grinning, she hummed affirmatively. “Will do.”

29. Cuddles

If Adrien was offering cuddles, she would always take them. Especially since there had become two more people in the world who now also wanted cuddles from Adrien whenever he was offering.

She couldn’t be mad, though, considering they also stole her cuddles away from Adrien. And she did love giving out those cuddles to both her lovely kids.

However, there were times that Adrien and Marinette knew they needed alone time away from the cuddle monsters. Thankfully, they had the most willing pair of babysitters in Paris. And by willing, Marinette actually meant that her parents would come to kidnap the kids if they decided they hadn’t seen them soon enough.

Which was fine because it meant she could actually spend time with her husband.

And catching up on sleep.

Today had been one of those days that the kidnapping babysitters had insisted upon taking the kids, and considering it had been a while since Marinette and Adrien had had a date, they gladly handed the kids over.

With the kids at their grandparents’ house, Marinette and Adrien decided to forgo their plan of going out for the evening in favor of staying in. The most they did was walk to the place serving take-out so they could bring home dinner they didn’t have to make. When they got home, Adrien turned on some new anime for them to watch, and they collapsed on the couch to eat their dinner together.

“You know what this feels like?” Marinette said, glancing up at him from her spot cuddled against his side.

“What does it feel like?”

“The New York trip.”

Adrien paused, food halfway to his mouth. Slowly, his fork fell back down to the container as a nostalgic smile grew across his face. “Kinda does, doesn’t it?” He set his take-out container down on his lap and looked down at her. “Has it really been eight years?”

“Yeah. Can you believe that?”

“Where’d the time go?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.”

Adrien huffed. “Back then, you wanted to give up fashion.”

“I still don’t regret it,” Marinette said, picking at the pasta in her container with her fork. “Working at the tailor’s shop is enough for me. And being a part-time worker allows me to watch my little rugrats grow up. And as big of a pain in the ass as they are, I wouldn’t want to miss that for the world. Who knows if I’d be able to have that kind of flexibility if I had been working in the fashion world.”

“Likely not,” Adrien said. “At least not too early in your career without you having to make a choice of who you were going to sacrifice.”

“Well, it wasn’t going to be the kids,” Marinette said. “Even if I loved the fashion world, I couldn’t prioritize that over my family.”

“Amazing how much we love those cute little pooping machines,” Adrien quipped.

Marinette huffed a laugh. “Tell me about it.”

“And you want a third?”

Smile not fading, Marinette quirked a brow at her husband. “Um, no. You were the one that wanted a third.”

“Whoa, whoa. When did I say I wanted a third?”

“Like, two nights ago when you were commenting how it seemed like only yesterday Hugo was born and that he needed to stay small.”

“I never said that,” Adrien said, good naturedly. “I was merely commenting on how he’s already eight months old and I was wondering where the time went. You, on the other hand—”

“Oh? What did I say that even suggested I wanted a third?”

“You were talking about Emilie and how she’s going to preschool and how you wanted your little baby girl back—”

“I was just commenting about how much time flies.”

“Yeah, sure, I believe that.”

Marinette scoffed. “Either way, we are not having a third.”

“Okay, we are not having a third,” Adrien agreed.

“Sounds like a plan.” With that, Marinette settled back against Adrien’s side, take-out box in hand.

With a chuckle, Adrien leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Marinette interrupted. “If you’re giving those, I want a proper one.”

With a grin, Adrien eagerly obliged. “If you’re taking, I’ll keep giving.”

Marinette hummed happily. “Then I’ll gladly keep taking.”

Two anime episodes they didn’t pay attention to later, their dinner was finished and Marinette found herself snuggled against Adrien’s chest in his lap. She relished these moments, just being together with him in the stolen quiet moments of their busy life.

“I don’t want to move,” Adrien commented as the credits of the episode rolled.

“Maybe I can tempt you?” Marinette prompted.

“With sleep?” Adrien asked. “Because we could do that on the couch.”

She scoffed. “Not quite.”

It took a second, but that Cheshire cat grin she’d come to associate with him spread across his face. “Well,” he began. “We could do other things, too.”

“No, no, that is off limits.”

“Look, just because we still can’t find that pair of underwear doesn’t mean we have to ban the couch.”

“I’m terrified Emilie is going to find that,” Marinette grumbled.

“It is a shame because I rather liked that pair on you, anyway.”

Marinette rolled her eyes.

“You started this,” Adrien quipped.

“You’re the one whose head always goes to the gutter,” Marinette quipped right back. It had been nine years since they’d met, and their banter hadn’t slowed. Marinette doubted it ever would.

“Is it wrong to still find my wife super sexy?” Adrien playfully challenged. “And I dare you to tell me you weren’t going to imply something naughty anyway.”

“Well,” she said with a mock pout. “It didn’t have to be naughty.”

He scoffed, easy grin on his face that always made her heart flutter. “Yeah right. When you imply things like that on a date night, they rarely stay innocent.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Adrien’s brow knit together as his lips pursed. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’d say it’s a fifty-fifty split of who starts it.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but froze. “No, you’re right,” she said, grin splitting her face as giggles bubbled up. “I can’t even argue with that.”

Adrien threw his hands in the air like a champion. “And we have a winner.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Marinette conceded, patting his chest while rolling her eyes at his antics. “You’re the winner. Good job.”

Adrien chuckled at her sarcasm. “Now, what not-naughty thing did my wife have planned?”

“Well, on my way home from work yesterday, I stopped by a store that were selling these big, colorful bath bombs—"

“Yes, please, let’s go,” Adrien squeaked.

Marinette giggled. “Thought you might like that.”

“Well, I like you.” Adrien said, smile turning earnest. “And if you’re wanting to spend time together, I will take it. You know that by now. Or at least you should.”

“I most definitely do,” she assured, shifting to straddle him so she could more easily cup his jaw in her hands. He laid his head in them, wrapping his arms around her waist. “And you know I also love spending time with you when I can take it, right?”

“Most definitely,” he assured.

Marinette rewarded him with a kiss, and he used his position to steal another. She was hoping he’d steal a third but he pulled away before she could.

“Now,” Adrien began. “Not that I don’t love this, but you were talking about a bath bomb?”

Her grin didn’t fade as she nodded.

“Perfect.” He patted her hip affectionately. “Why don’t you set that up, and I will pull the snacks that I bought for tonight out of their hiding spot.”

She gasped. “You have snacks?”

“I bought them on my way home from work knowing Sabine was gonna steal the kids tonight.”

Marinette liked the sound of that. “Ohhh, okay.”

Adrien let her go, allowing her to go set up the bath while he went digging in the kitchen.

It wasn’t long before Adrien arrived in the bathroom with a box of chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of wine.

Grinning ear to ear, Marinette looked at the treats before looking back at Adrien. “Tonight isn’t going to end up with baby number three, is it?”

“Um, I want no comments from the woman who suggested a bath together,” Adrien sassed back with a wink.

“I never said things had to take a naughty turn.”

“Oh yeah? Then why’d you buy the bath bomb?”

“To spend time with my husband?”

Adrien scoffed, wide grin on his face and teasing twinkle in his eyes. “If I learned anything from our honeymoon, it’s that it is a rare occasion when we can be naked together in a bathroom and have things stay innocent.”

Marinette felt her cheeks warm as all words died in her throat. He had her there.

“Besides,” Adrien said, leaning back against the bathroom counter. “We’re not even having baby number three, right?”

“Exactly,” Marinette agreed. “And we’re most certainly not having two under two.”

“Exactly. Tonight is just going to be a lovely time with my wife.”

“Okay, glad we’re on the same page.”

“Likewise. Now,” Adrien took out the cork from the wine. “Are we each drinking one glass or sharing?”

“Excuse you, but when was the last time you ever had your own glass of wine during bath time?”

“Stupid question; never mind.”

30. Stay

“I hate you.”

Adrien froze, eyes locked on Marinette, who’d only just appeared in the bedroom doorway. He studied her expression, realizing that those words weren’t a barb but not completely teasing, either. Exasperated, maybe? But nothing came to mind of what he could have done to set her off. He’d even gotten the kids in bed at a decent time without letting Emilie pull ‘one more story, daddy!’ out of him. “What’d I do?”

Before she answered, she stalked off into the bathroom again.

Adrien’s gut sank. He was in real big trouble; he could feel it.

When she returned, she crawled next to him on the bed and shoved something in his face. It didn’t take him too long to realize what it was. And judging by her comment, he didn’t even need to see the result of that pregnancy test to know that baby number three was on the way.

“We’re having two under two?” he asked, turning back to her.

She wagged the test at him, trying to look fearsome but not fully succeeding. “Your fault.”

“Um, excuse you,” he began, shifting so that he was completely facing her. “Takes two to tango, love.”

“Um, excuse you,” Marinette returned, leaning in closer. “But I didn’t start it that time.”

Reflexively, he leaned forward, too. “You were a willing participant.”

“But we agreed we did not want child three.”

“Exactly. We were definitely on the same page of not wanting child three.”

They stayed like that for a moment longer, having a stare down that didn’t last long. Adrien’s façade broke first, causing Marinette’s to break. He hung his head while she leaned forward, her forehead hitting his shoulder.

“So,” Adrien giggled. “Baby number three, huh?”

“Honestly, part of me kinda wanted to wait,” Marinette said, her tone half-teasing half-sincere. “But it wasn’t like we were trying to wait, either.”

“Guess things are going to change in the house once again.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I was gonna ask you that,” Adrien said. His chest tightened a little bit with a fleeting thought. “Hey, you’re not actually upset about that, are you?”

She paused for only a second, lifting her head off his shoulder to meet his gaze once again. “Nah,” she dismissed. “It will be fine. Hopefully.”

“Hopefully,” Adrien repeated, that tightness his doubt had caused easing its grip on him.

“Besides, I like our little family we’ve made together,” Marinette said with a smile. “And I like the idea of adding one more to it.”

His heart warmed at her words. “I’m glad,” he said, snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her close. She came willingly, and soon enough, they toppled together back onto the bed, Marinette laying on top of Adrien’s chest and smiling down on him.

“Hey, Marinette.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

Her brow knit in confusion. “For what?”

“Giving me a family,” he said, rubbing little circles on her back with his thumb. “And I mean you, your parents, our kids; all of them. You know there’s no way I’m able to have a relationship with my dad, so it really feels like I’m living the dream to have been given a family like this when I’d thought I’d lost it. Thank you.”

Her grin was tender and gentle and warmed him so thoroughly he thought he’d never feel the cold of loneliness again. If things could stay forever like this, he’d do anything to make that happen.

“I love you,” she said. “And I love the family we’ve made together. And I’m really glad you ended up at my parent’s bakery all those years ago.”

“I am, too,” Adrien said before he was hit with an almost painful realization. “Funny how we only ended up here where we are because of all the negatives in our lives.”

Marinette mulled over his words for a moment before humming in acceptance. “I guess you’re right,” she said. “Still sucks that it all had to happen.”

“I wouldn’t change it, though,” Adrien admitted. “Because it makes my blessings that much more precious, and I wouldn’t want to risk losing any of them, either.”

Though the words seemed to caught her off guard, a look of understanding crossed over Marinette’s expression before she laid her head down on Adrien’s chest. “Then I wouldn’t change them, either. If it meant they led me to you. I’m plenty happy for things staying just the way they are.”

That warm feeling that had flooded Adrien was not going to leave any time soon. After all, although his past wasn’t what he ideally would have liked to live through, he was living the dream now, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #adrienette #adrinette #AdrinetteApril2021 #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #fluff #just fluff #Happy Ending #a look into their future #Because I just want happiness for these two #Thanks for reading!

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