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#go listen to In The Best Case Scenario We Die At The Same Time by My Name Is Ian right now
greaseonmymouth · 1 year
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leverage s5 revised episode order
so it's my understanding that it's pretty much general consensus that s5 is setting up the ot3 endgame, showing us throughout the season how close they are and how well they work together and establishing their relationship the best way they can without the network realising, right? we see this in how they do historical episodes, always pairing Nate and Sophie but they've paired Parker and Hardison and Parker and Eliot, and in the present they've done Eliot and Hardison enough times. and so the finale, The Long Goodbye Job, is the final dot over the i to make that clear - Eliot, Parker, and Hardison die together in the fake scenario because anything else would be anathema, and they skip off into the sunset together as a three person Leverage team while Nate and Sophie skip off together as Out Of The Game, For Good
The Frame Up Job and The Rundown Job support this by showing us how well Eliot, Parker, and Hardison work together, how flawless a team (how thoroughly established an ot3) and by showing us Nate and Sophie as a thoroughly established married couple disgustingly in love and bickering and on the same wavelength
now I propose (and not just because of Eliot's haircut in The Rundown Job clearly indicating this episode should've come later in the season) that The Long Goodbye Job was not intended to be the series finale, and that The Frame Up Job and The Rundown Job were supposed to form a two-episode series finale directly following The Long Goodbye Job. soft epilogues, if you will
points to consider:
in both of those episodes, the other half of the team does not appear and is not even mentioned. it's not like the Girls / Boys Night Out episodes, where the episodes are mirrored and the team is working on related problems, and is then reunited at the end - these are entirely separate episodes featuring two independent teams
Vance to Eliot: "Hell, your girlfriend's already out of her cuffs." Nobody corrects him. Not Parker, not Hardison, and not Eliot. Ok this one doesn't prove episode order I just love this subtle ot3 confirmation moment
Sterling, to Nate and Sophie: "Now I know where you are. Call me. I'm hiring."
this was already funny as is, and we're presuming this is because Sterling hasn't found out where the team relocated to after Boston, but imagine if this is actually after The Long Goodbye Job? Sterling let them go. Nate pushed him and he came down on the side of thieves, and he let them go, and then couldn't find them but now he has and his frustration with the case and Nate and Sophie's casual disregard and the final 'I'm hiring'? It's been a couple of months since The Long Goodbye Job and this is the most fun Sterling has had in ages
but the ot3 half ok. so The Long Goodbye Job tells us that they die together and they live together, and they continue Leverage as a 3 person team. Give it a couple of months and they're in DC and they face a real life and death moment - and they live together.
and also, you get Eliot telling Vance "I work with them now" and then he limps bloodily off into the sunset squished between Hardison and Parker like the three of them are off to have some incredible sex
listen I just think season 5 makes so much more sense if we consider those two episodes as the episodes establishing the happily ever after epilogues after The Long Goodbye Job
also in Leverage: Redemption the very first episode we find out that Nate had a shady stash of paintings and materials and whatnot so what if that is actually a hint that Nate and Sophie did actually get back into the game, with Sterling, until Nate passed away and Sophie clocked out?
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dappydaffer · 25 days
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i am asking you about your special interests. rant about all of them to me if you wish. go off my friend :)
Holy shit, you are now my new favorite person-
A lot of my special interests right now mainly center around Will Wood, ROTTMNT, and human behavior as a whole.
With Will Wood's music, whether he intends it to be or not, is just so profound and well made and really makes me happy. The symbolism, the seemingly needless, lengthy words, and the themes he explores overall are just ground-breaking to me and I could analyze his stuff for days on end with a burning passion. And the way his music (both old and new) sounds?? LIKE WHAT??
I swear, no two songs of his sound the same, and I mean it in the best way possible. The pacing, the instrumental choice, really everything just feels uniquely respective to its own song and I am drooling over it.
Will Wood is easily one of the best musicians I have ever had the pleasure of discovering. When I found his stuff, I hadn't had a musical hyperfixation in actual years, but boy did listening to the normal album change that.
Like I said, the lyrics, the sounds of the music, and (what I believe is) the continued theme of normalcy while each song still tells its own theme/story?? It's just perfection to me, really-
As for ROTTMNT? Don't even get me started!
The animation is lively, colorful, and has a delightful, anime-ish style to it that just makes the whole show eye candy to me. The boxy(?) movement in certain scenes, the shading (especially in the movie), and the character designs?? Omg the character designs-
I love how Rise broke what I feel was the "copy-and-paste" style of design for the turtles, unlike the previous series (I'm not saying other TMNT shows were bad, but good lord the designs (looking at you, 2012) were...awful-). Each design feels respective to its own character and the diversity in appearance really helps the turtle's personalities, fighting style, and expression shine through.
And the turtles themselves? I simply just adore what the show did with their personalities and how they gave them more depth and really humanized them. Especially with Raph and Donnie. Especially Raph and Donnie.
Raph always came off as just "the angry one," and there was seemingly no reason for why and there was nothing else to him, when I tried getting into older series, and at times, it made me dislike him as a character. But in Rise? They made him into a gentle giant with different likes, dislikes, interests, strength, weaknesses, and gave him reason to be angry in certain scenarios, rather than feeding us the usual "pissed off all the time" Raph. In Rise, he just comes off as a reasonably tired, realistic older brother that cares about his family and just wants the best for everyone, even if there are times he comes off in the wrong way.
And I could go off about Donnie for days
But to keep it as short as I can; Donnie is to die for in Rise. He is more than just the "tech guy." He is shown to indulge in different interests and hobbies, he has vulnerable moments, he's sarcastically witty and deadpan, just everything I could want in a character like him.
And the way they handled autistic representation with Donnie?
*chef's kiss* 11/10 👌
He comes off a realistic, neurodivergent person that isn't weakened by his condition, and is instead just accepted as he is and plays a vital role to the brother's chemistry, unlike in most shows where the autistic character feels like an inconvenience, a man-child, an un-empathetic asshole, and/or too indulged in their hyperfixation to be useful, or that's all there is to them as a person.
Rise just got so many things right and I adore the show for it!
And lastly; with human behavior? It's certainly not as strong as the last two fixations, but I still find it rather interesting.
Everything we have been taught since birth feels black and white, especially with people's intentions and emotions. But, I don't think that's the case at all (in 95% of cases). People each have their own thoughts, feelings, and reasonings for why they do x, y, z, and I may not know everything about it, but Jesus Christ, it intrigues me so much.
Thank you so much for asking about my special interests =)
I apologize it took a while to answer, I've been busy with school, my job, and trying to finish the first part of the Black Box Warrior analysis (which I should hopefully have posted in the next day or two-)
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hephaestuscrew · 1 year
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In Ep4 'Cataracts and Hurricanoes', when Minkowski goes out into the solar storm to save Eiffel, Hilbert's reactions really emphasise the risk that she is taking.
HILBERT: Commander, I… cannot recommend this course of action. Risk of continued electromagnetic anomalies is still very high. This rescue mission places your life in unacceptable risk. For the greater good of the crew I must - MINKOWSKI: For the greater good of the crew I am going to pretend that this line of thinking was never even insinuated, Doctor. ~ HERA: Attention: radiological alert. Attention: radiological alert. Stellar flare imminent. EIFFEL: Uhhh… HILBERT: Commander, permission to speak freely? MINKOWSKI: Permission denied, Doctor. ~ On first listen, or without thinking about it too deeply, it's easy to dismiss Hilbert's opposition to Minkowski's plan as just showing that he doesn't care very much about Eiffel's life. Which is true in terms of Hilbert's perspective on the inherent value of Eiffel's life. But it's not true in terms of his perspective on the value of keeping Eiffel alive as a Decima test subject.
In 'What's Up, Doc?', threatening Eiffel is the only place Minkowski can point her gun that would make Hilbert talk. And yet when Eiffel's life is in danger in 'Cataracts and Hurricanoes', Hilbert actively tries to prevent Minkowski from going out into the storm to save him.
It's not that Hilbert has particular concern for Minkowski's life inherently either, as we see during his Christmas mutiny. When he tells Minkowski not to go out into that storm, it will be because he's weighed up the risks.
He believes that if Minkowski goes out into that storm, her and Eiffel will both probably die. And he's decided that the risk of being the only human left on the Hephaestus is not worth the possibility of saving his current Decima test subject. In arguing against Minkowski trying to save Eiffel, Hilbert is acting on his belief that the likely best case scenario here is one similar to what happened with Fisher: the first test subject lost, time to move onto the next one. That's a better outcome for him than having no humans available to experiment on, even though losing Eiffel would be a major blow to his experimental progress.
So when Minkowski goes out into that storm, she's doing something that a supposed genius thinks will almost certainly result in her death. (And I think Minkowski does see Hilbert as a genius at least at this point, although an eccentric one.) She takes that risk for Eiffel, someone who doesn't even really like. Much as I love Minkowski and Eiffel's relationship, I don't think her decision is personal here. I think she would have done the same for Hilbert, or anyone who she considered a part of her crew. That's the kind of person she is.
But it's still a significant moment in their relationship. If Minkowski would do this for anyone she considered part of her crew, this moment still shows that she considers Eiffel to be a part of her crew (which means that he's someone whose safety she feels responsible for, someone who she will take major risks to save). I think that's a surprise to Eiffel at least, if not to Minkowski as well.
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covenofthearticulate · 10 months
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Pairing: Armand/Louis/Lestat
Opener: "I have missed you so much." 🥹
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Send a pairing and a starting line! (listen you already know I simply HAD to write something based off of this response I had on my Louis blog!! this has lived rent free in my head for MONTHS so thank you for supplying the perfect jumping off point for me)
"I have missed you so much."
The confession comes between gritted teeth. There's a heaviness to his voice, and they both catch it immediately. There is no Mind Gift needed to communicate the level of concern etched across the furrow of Lestat's brow, the frown tugging at Armand's cherub lips.
It's a jarring sight to come home to: Louis in his chair, fussing with the threadbare sleeves of his sweater, the delicate features of his face twisted with ruinous anguish as crimson tears slowly collect in the corners of his downcast eyes.
Impossible, that this was the same creature Lestat had left only a few nights ago. He remembers their conversation so clearly:
“I think you should go,” Louis had encouraged him, upon reading the invitation from Armand. It was a simple request: come to Paris, help to renovate the villa while the weather was still warm. The invitation was open to Louis, too, of course, but Louis knew better than to intervene.
“I knew you’d say that,” Lestat had scoffed.
“I think it would be good for you both.”
“You’re only saying that to get me out of the house. I’ll come home to find all the furniture out in the street, replaced with something boring and practical.”
“It is a ghastly armchair, Lestat.”
“It’s a statement piece.”
“We don’t need to make statements.”
“I have nothing to say to him.”
“That’s not true, Lestat.”
“Of course it’s true! How many nights have we spent together gnashing at old wounds? How many times can we have the same argument? He probably only wants me there to insult me.”
“Paris is different. You don’t have to speak to him. Just be in each other’s company. Explore the city as humans do. Hunt. Be the companions you never could be before.”
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop being wise.”
“I’m giving you my honest advice, Lestat.”
“Come with me, then. Let the three of us walk down the Champs Elysses.”
“No,” Louis had said. “It needs to be the two of you.”
It was Louis who told him to go, Louis who sensed the importance tending to the old wounds between the two of them.
But it was also Louis who had sent that text, merely days after Lestat’s departure. 
He hadn’t meant to do it, in all honesty. He knew damn well as soon as he hit the send button that he would ruin their time together. But, see, Lestat had made the mistake of sending Louis a picture. It wasn’t the sort of picture Louis expected to receive while Lestat was away (and thank God for that, honestly); it was simply a selfie of he and Armand walking down the street. Lestat’s arm was wrapped around Armand’s shoulder, and Armand’s expression was ripe with annoyance, frustration, and irrefutable love. 
Evidence that we have not killed each other yet. Please, tell me you are proud of me. I love to hear you say it. xoxo
It was nothing Louis had not seen before. It was exactly what he had hoped for, in fact. He had every intention of replying with a simple “Good.” or perhaps even a thumbs up at this best-case scenario. 
And yet. 
The longer he stared at it, the longer he felt some strange agony in the pit of his stomach, like a red hot poker melting through him. The feeling is alien, but not unrecognizeable. He knows it for what it is, and it’s humiliating and irrational and completely, totally foolish, but for perhaps the first time in centuries…Louis de Pointe du Lac is jealous.
I miss you.
I miss you both. 
I cannot stand the thought of the two of you finding happiness without me. 
I know how selfish that is. I know I am being irrational and hypocritical. But surely, I will die without your love.
I need the two of you here with me, now.
And that was that. Lestat and Armand were on a plane home within the hour.
If the air wasn't sucked out of his lungs at the sight of him, Lestat might have made a joke, might have checked the sky for flying pigs because if Louis de Pointe du Lac is weeping, then surely the end of the world is soon to follow. He opens his mouth to try and say as much, but Louis beats him to it:
“You must think me so foolish.”
The thing about Louis is that he so often carries an air of melancholy with such grace that everyone seems to forget the hidden depths of anguish that rear their ugly heads when he is left alone with his own thoughts for too long. His approach to the masterful art of repression had been wholisticly different than that of Armand or Lestat; rather than numb himself entirely or run from the depths of his emotions, Louis had always drowned himself in sorrow because, perhaps long ago, he thought he might acclimate to it.
Instead, it only seems to twist him up until he’s worse off than before. It had chewed him up and spat him out, this time.
“Louis,” is all Lestat can think to say as they drop their bags, shed their coats and head straight for their lover in his trusty old armchair.
They kneel, one on each side; Lestat on the left and Armand on the right. Leaning closer, Lestat lifts his hand to wipe the tears from Louis’ eyes, but is shunned away.
“He’s embarrassed,” Armand translates, as he so often does. Beneath the curtain of black hair, he catches Louis’ gaze and knows he’s struck the truth.
“Embarrassed! Why—”
“Because he wants our love, and there is some part of his mind that feels humiliated in admitting that.”
The sudden rush of blood in Louis’ cheeks, up behind his eyes sockets, is enough evidence that Armand, as always, is right.
Lestat kisses at the sweet little blush, right against Louis’ temple as he pets one hand through his hair. 
“My darling Louis,” he hums. “I’ve missed you so terribly. Have you missed him, too, Armand?”
“Yes, of course.” Armand follows right along. If Louis didn’t know any better he’d think the whole thing was rehearsed. Sometimes they think with such synchronicity it's uncanny. 
“Perhaps we ought to show our dear Louis how much we missed him.”
“Yes,” Armand agrees, and he’s already moving closer, fingers already ghosting up Louis’ chest. “It’s good to be home.”
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atopvisenyashill · 29 days
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What about laenor live and daemon die scenario?
Gonna be honest this is best case scenario for Rhaenyra husband wise lmaoooo.
Laenor isn’t a particularly present husband, in the show or in the books, but I think having a husband who just doesn’t pay attention to you is better than having one that your opps actively hate. Like, listen I love Daemon and I would even go so far as to say that I am a hashtag daemon apologist in several scenes but also this man is just objectively bad for Rhaenyra. He is the Aemond of her side; he’s too violent, too impulsive, too angry, too ready to escalate a situation, got too much he feels he has to prove. The main thing Daemon has going for him is his history in war being an advantage, but Laenor also has that AND he has a handle on his temper, if not his grief.
But details on where specifically I think this affects the plot-
Aegon III & Viserys II are butterfly effected away. This doesn’t mean Rhaenyra won’t have more kids tho. Depending on which canon you’re following here, it’s not impossible that Rhaenyra might take another lover, out of loneliness, wanting to have more children, or just like, spite, and if Rhaenyra & Laenor properly reconcile in their marriage, they may even attempt to have their own again to try to throw off the rumors about the older boys.
The Vaemond thing just objectively goes better. This isn’t hard, because it basically couldn’t have gone worse. First of all, in the books Rhaenyra sends Daemon to kill him. She cannot send Laenor to do it because that’s kinslaying which means she’d have to like, do it herself, and Rhaenyra is fierce but she’s not a warrior like Visenya. As far as we know, she cannot actually swordfight. So even if she has some sort of breakdown in front of Laenor begging him to protect their sons’ claims, Vaemond is NOT getting fed to Syrax publicly. Secondly, it’s a lot harder to continuously push that the boys are bastards when the father is standing right there going “well i’m saying they’re mine” like Vaemond would look INSANE especialy since LAENOR is Corlys’ heir so what is Vaemond pushing on here, exactly?? “Jump over Laenor in the succession to me??” Absolutely not! He’s going to approach this much differently!
The Dragon Twins are now Dragon Orphans. After the stepstones war, he doesn’t really do anything that could get him killed until the dance starts which means - who assassinates his ass? Does he die in tourney? Does Otto get worried about what Daemon would do once Otto takes the throne, and just decides to have him killed? And if he does - I mean fuck, a Faceless Man would be super expensive bc Daemon is famous as hell, but he’s also not a complete idiot and a regular assassin is probably not gonna whack him. If it’s obviously suspicious, Rhaenyra definitely panics over it, not to mention Baela and Rhaena are now orphaned and don’t have Rhaenyra as the mom who Stepped Up so Corlys has complete control over what happens to the dragon twins. He’s not gonna break the betrothals but at the same time, he does have a lil bit of leverage over Rhaenyra here. If Daemon dies in tourney, that’s hilarious, but probably doesn’t make Rhaenyra spiral over the Greens coming to murder her kids (she absolutely takes it hard emotionally though). If he gets sick suddenly and dies, I think Rhaenyra does get suspicious still but is fine. However, at the end of the day, Baela and Rhaena have no parents, nor do they have a stepmother.
There’s a lot of dragons to fight over now. So the thing is, in the book, Aemond claims Vhagar at Laenor’s funeral, not Laena’s. He’s not mentioned to have been at Laena’s funeral at all even though she died first. I’m not really sure what happens with the dragons once their riders die - you can’t really like, herd them back to KL if you can’t ride them. We know Vermithor and Silverwing just nested somewhere on Dragonstone and were left alone for awhile, for example, so I get the impression they just like. Let the dragon chill wherever the rider died and if someone claims it, someone claims it (which is how Laena got Vhagar in the first place). BUT. There’s two dragons riderless now, potentially just hanging out on Driftmark - Vhagar AND Caraxes. Maybe Aemond follows Vhagar’s call and manages to claim her before Rhaena does. Maybe Rhaena can’t actually claim her and Vhagar wanders somewhere safer for Aemond to attempt to claim her. Maybe Rhaena feels a call to Caraxes and claims him, so when Aemond claims Vhagar it’s not a big fight. There’s a lot of different ways this could go.
Addam won’t ever claim Seasmoke. That makes me sad. Aw maybe Addam claims Vhagar, we know she loves sad kids!!! I can dream!!!!
Driftmark goes differently. I say different and not goes away because the whole family is still going to gather to inter Daemon’s ashes at Dragonstone, and there could still be some high tensions but without being concrete about where he dies, we don’t really know where Vhagar or Caraxes are hanging out.
[WHEN does Daemon die in the show tho. Do he and Rhaenyra fuck and then he chokes on a pickle?? That’s gonna make her SPIRAL omg. Does he die with Laena in Pentos? Rhaenys is gonna have to fly to Pentos to go pick up the girls bc they have NO ONE now. How did Vhagar get back to Driftmark in the show, did Daemon just say “hey girl just follow Caraxes” and she was like “Yeah fine whatever I fucjing hate Pentos anyway”? How are they getting Caraxes AND Vhagar back to Dragonstone??? Anyways, Aemond would still get Vhagar in the show, probably, but Rhaena could claim Caraxes if she wanted]
Blood and Cheese is so much different. Aemond’s murder of Lucerys demands some sort of answer; there’s certainly the kinslaying & escalation of the war angle but also, he just like, murders someone bc his pride is hurt under a peace banner. This is the second dumbest move in the whole war (the first is B&C). Laenor (and Corlys & probs Rhaenys, bc he’s definitely checking in with his parents for what to do here) is probably yelling to everyone that Aemond is a kinslayer, but this post here gives a great alternative which is hostage taking. A son for a son - you murdered Lucerys so to keep you on better behavior, we are abducting your son. Certainly a cruel, brutal thing to do but like, I think a lot of people in Westeros would see this as a strong move so long as the Blacks treat whichever child they abducted (i’m assuming jaehaerys here) with all the courtesy and respect owed to a child hostage. If they posit themselves as people willing to play by the rules but not be pushed around, going up against the kinslaying tyrants who usurped them? Bro, that’s just a slam DUNK in PR, I think the Greens are cooked in terms of reputation here.
What’s the pattern you notice here? Well it’s that Rhaenyra’s reputation is a LOT better in this scenario and also, who has what dragon is kinda up in the air. Some people were always gonna side with the Greens for a variety of reasons but during the “war of words” where everyone is trying to shore up support, Rhaenyra may win more people to her side because her reputation has not taken several hits, and she’s made the Greens look bad.
However, while Rhaenyra certainly looks better and may gain allies faster, I still think there are some problems here - Otto is actively planning a coup & Rhaenyra is not in the capital. IF, after Harwin & Lyonel dies, Viserys still names Otto as his Hand, Rhaenyra is still roughly in a similar spot as in canon. I was going to suggest Laenor be named Hand (with Rhaenyra doing the work in the background) but I think that’s just as much of a long shot as Rhaenyra being named Hand, because Viserys is wary of Corlys & Rhaenys having too much influence (even though…. would have been better if the Hightowers had less power than his HEIR, Viserys pls). Most of Laenor’s use comes once the conflict starts - a cooler head to deal with the fallout of Luke’s death, to support Rhaenyra in the capital, to assert the claims of the Velaryon boys. At the same time, if Aegon still fires Otto after the Cargyll debacle & B&C (Laenor’s Version), and Criston still designs a trap, it’s possible that instead of Rhaenys dying in it, Laenor dies in it. But also maybe not!! Maybe Laenor, who has experience in battle, manages to wriggle his way out of the fight, or manages to take Sunfyre completely out, or even kill Aegon or Aemond. Aegon losing Sunfyre so early would imo be a huge blow to morale and if Aegon DIES this early? Even if all he does is exactly what Rhaenys and Meleys manage, that still means Rhaenyra has Rhaenys and Meleys still alive - maybe this means Rhaenyra is able to hold the capital for longer, maybe it means Rhaenys stays at Dragonstone and notices Aegon & Sunfyre and goes after them instead of Baela and Moondancer.
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ambriel-angstwitch · 7 months
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Miss Missing You through the lens of Merthur
Don't panic, no, not yet. I know I'm the one you want to forget
Magic reveal. Let me set the scene, Arthur sees Merlin do magic and Merlin says the first line not only to try to get Arthur to listen to him but also somewhat to himself to remind him that things aren’t guaranteed to go terribly. The second line is in his mind fearing that Arthur won’t want anything to do with him after the reveal
Cue all the love to leave my heart
The love that Arthur holds for Merlin will dissipate with the reveal or at least that’s what Merlin fears. Especially I’m imagining Arthur leaves the room instead of saying anything. (We do know Arthur wanted to be alone after the reveal in the show itself)
It's time for me to fall apart
With Arthur gone Merlin no longer has to keep the brave face to try to convince him. He can panic
Now you're gone, but I'll be okay
This line is interesting because it’s in direct contrast to the last. Maybe Merlin’s trying to convince himself he’s fine
Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flame Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight Let the fire breathe me back to life
But then another worst case scenario Merlin might think of. What if Arthur wants him to burn? What if he would do it for him? What if his magic brings him back?
Baby you were my picket fence
A white picket fence represents the perfect house, and an ideal lifestyle. Arthur is Merlin’s everything, he’s his ideal future, and he’s all he wants.
I miss missing you, now and then Chlorine kissed, summer skin I miss missing you, now and then
Sidetrack from the whole storyline we’ve got going on since this gives me major Merlin’s been waiting for Arthur who’s in the lake vibes. He only has brief flashes of memories of Arthur since he’s been gone so long, he misses the way he used to miss Arthur because it’s so much harder to miss something you barely remember.
Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger
Merlin’s constantly fighting against forces that want to destroy what he loves and all he can hope is things will get better
The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger
Once again connected to this whole storyline though really very canonical because he is completely ready to die for Arthur but he is also living under the knowledge that if Arthur knew everything about him then he might just kill him.
Oh, we're fading fast I miss missing you, now and then
Once again the Arthur in the lake vibes. The memories are fading
Making eyes at this husk, around my heart
The husk around the heart implies that the person has some walls up, has something their hiding like Merlin. Arthur’s falling in love with him but Merlin can’t help but wonder if it’s really him as there’s things he must hide that might stop that love
I see through you and we're sitting in the dark So give me your filth, make it rough Let me, let me, trash your love
But Merlin and Arthur also see through eachother. Despite the secrets Merlin keeps they know eachother more deeply than anyone else. Merlin has seen all of Arthur’s filth all of the bad things he’s done.
I will sing to you everyday, if it will take away the pain
Merlin will be there for Arthur in even the most simple ways if it would make things better for him even a little bit. (Also don’t imagine Arthur wanting Merlin to sing to him in the last “just hold me” moment)
Oh, and I heard you've got it, got it so bad Cause I am the best you’ll never have
They were so deeply in love with eachother, but at the end of it all they never truly got to have eachother. The same destiny that forced them together also kept them from having the relationship they desired. Merlin was too busy trying to keep Arthur that he never got to really have him.
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raspberryhell · 2 years
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[ID: A drawing of Zolf and Wilde in a scene from RQG 217. They are both floating in the air, Zolf curled defensively around the Babbage backpack, and Wilde stood next to him with a hand on his shoulder. Zolf looks forward in fear, teeth gritted. Wilde looks forward, frowning in anger. The drawing is done in shades of pale blue, with bright blue lines shooting towards the two from all sides. End ID]
In the Best Case Scenario We Die at the Same Time
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221bshrlocked · 3 years
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Fever in my Eyes
Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Reader
Words: 8.5K (yeesh)
Warnings: Smut and Angst, my two faves. Blindfold. Breeding Kink!!! Things are consensual from both sides but since this is a sex pollen fic, some of you might consider it as non/con so please proceed with caution.
Summary: Felucia was not an ideal planet to track a quarry on and you find yourself in a sticky situation when you lose sight of the Mandalorian for a moment. An unexpected standoff between Mando and the bounty leads to you escaping back to the Razor Crest, unaware of the pollen which seeped into your nostrils and past your skin. What will the bounty hunter do once he realizes what you’re asking of him? And more importantly, is it worth risking whatever relationship he has with you?
A/N: As always, I am shit with summaries. It’s a sex pollen fic yall. I apologize if my smut isn’t as good as it used to be, I am trying. Also, please please please let me know how I did in the comments. This is only my second ever Star Wars fic and I was very reluctant to post it but Pedro Pascal made me do it because I cannot stop thinking of the man so here it is. Seriously, tell me how I did and what I can do to better my writing. There will be more Din Djarin fics to come :) Enjoy. And this is not beta’d!
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This was not an ideal situation, but it never was. At least not ever since you took the ‘glorified babysitter’ position offered so graciously to you months ago. A short snort made its way past your lips as you walked through the greenery and recalled how you came into caring for the child currently biting and playing with your necklace. You looked down and smiled at him, not bothering to stop him from chewing down on the colorful jewels because you knew for a fact that if Mando heard you criticizing him over something so trivial, he might scold him and make him pout. Maker, the little womp rat made it so hard to be angry with him, let alone attempt to teach him some proper manners. 
So busy playing with the Child, you didn’t notice when the bounty hunter suddenly came to a halt ahead of you. You walked right into his back and stumbled backwards, apologizing immediately when he turned around and tilted his visor to the side. You’ve grown to learn what each tild meant and at the moment, he was definitely a tad bit annoyed with you. 
“S-sorry, I’ll pay attention.” Smiling awkwardly at the man in front of you, you waited until he turned around before narrowing your eyes at the kid currently giggling at your mistake. It was amazing how often he did that, almost as if he knew he was purposely getting you in trouble for his own entertainment. 
“So you never actually told me why this bounty was so important,” your eyes searched your surroundings and marveled at the lush reaching all the way to the top of the strange trees, barely noticing the way the Mandalorian’s shoulders tensed before continuing to walk towards the edge of the forest. If there even was an edge to this jungle. Maker, this was such a weird planet, it smelled weird, it was too hot and too wet, and you sensed there was something strange with all the exotic plants beneath your feet.
When he didn’t respond, you slowly put the Child down and reached inside your satchel for a drink. As soon as the kid noticed the satchel, he waddled back to you and pulled on your cloak until you brought out his favorite blue biscuits. 
“All I’m saying is, this bounty is weird. Who hides all the way out here anyways? I mean I have never heard of this place-”
“You’ve said that about the last four quarries.” You didn’t expect him to respond and eyed him cautiously, looking between him and the kid who continued to eat his snacks and understood absolutely nothing of what you were saying. A shiver ran down your spine when you noticed the way he put the tracking fob back in his pocket before slowly reaching for the blaster pistol. Reflexes instantly kicking in, you hurried to the Child and snatched him off the ground, shushing his little coos and preparing for the worst case scenario which was always, somehow, what transpired.
Silence filled the humid air and you tried to read the bounty hunter’s body language, knowing very well he was not one to say anything unless it was perhaps a little too late for you. His visor dragged through the dried prints on the grass and before you knew it, he was taking off towards the edge of the purple and pink plants. As you followed him, you felt your throat dry much quicker than usual. Thinking it was just the extreme weather of Felucia, you decided it was best to slow down and wait until the Mandalorian caught the bounty before following his path. He’d even told you once to not follow him if you ever saw him running off because that usually meant he was close to the quarry and wouldn’t need your aid. It was a little insulting in the beginning but you were caught during a shoot-out one too many times and understood he was only trying to look out for you and the kid. 
But not even a full minute passed before you heard a sudden blast sound off from the trees above you and before you could figure out what was happening, a heavy weight landed on top of you, and you watched in horror as the kid flew out of your hand into a nearby puddle. 
Trying your hardest to grab the blaster on your hip, you cried out in pain when you felt talons digging into your arms and twist them back. You didn’t know what else to do, eyes scanning the trees in hopes of finding the Mandalorian rushing towards you. But when you realized he was nowhere around, you looked at the kid and prayed he was alright. When you saw his large eyes blinking a few times before struggling to sit up, you knew there was only one outcome. 
“Make a sound, and I will feast on your organs.” The stench of the creature filled your nostrils and you sobbed quietly at the implications behind his words. Taking one last look at the kid, you took a deep breath and pushed off the ground as hard as you can.
“MANDO!” As soon as you screamed his name, you felt three talons break the skin of your shoulder blades and drag all the way down to your lower back. You felt hot tears roll down your cheeks and hated how distressed the Child looked. Almost on queue, he was standing up and trying to waddle your way, refusing to listen to your little objections as you tried to tell him to run the opposite direction. 
Before you could dwell on the many different ways you were about to die, you heard a large blast sound through the forest, throwing the creature off of you against one of the trees with a loud cracking noise. You looked up just in time to see the familiar glint of beskar coming closer through the greenery and as you tried to stand up, you felt the same weight behind you again, twisting the talons into your hair and pulling you to your feet. 
You swallowed the lump in your throat when you felt the edge of the hunting knife against your throat. Eyes unable to focus on the figures in front of you, you blinked a few times and realized there were too many sensations hitting you. But the one seemingly outdoing all the others was the growing wet patch on your back and you soon felt sharp pain growing against your skin where the strange liquid rolled down your skin. You weren’t sure if it was blood or if it was drool from the thing behind you and a part of you didn’t care because what difference would it make. 
“Should have known you were the only crazy one to come here...come after me.” A slithering whisper made its way past your ears and your knees buckled as you started to feel faint. But then the creature held you up roughly and pressed the knife harder against your throat, warning you against falling to the ground.
“Your problem is with me T'doshok. Let her go.” You vaguely saw the Child walk towards his father, relief washing over you when you knew he was safe once more. At some point, you’ve come to care more for him than for yourself and you were never sure if it was because he was so precious or because of how important he was to the Mandalorian. 
“Aren’t we past formalities Mando? At least do me the honor of saying my name...old friend.” 
Your gaze immediately shifted from the kid to the beskar-clad man standing in front of him. So they knew each other? Why didn’t he tell you? Did he still not trust you to know such matters until now?
“ Ni Kelir kyr'amur gar meh gar vaabir not ba'slanar kaysh.” You heard the Mandalorian growl through the visor and even though you didn’t understand what he said, you knew it was anything but friendly. Wait, that meant the T'doshok behind you understood Manod’a. 
A sob escaped your throat when you felt the bounty laugh behind you at the warning. 
“You can’t possibly mean that Mando.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think there was a hint of surprise etched in the voice growling in your ear.
“Ni vaabir not baatir te waadas...believe me.” The conscious part of your brain wondered why he continued to speak in Mando’a. He knew you didn’t understand much of it…
The silence was almost deafening and you weren’t sure what was happening until your boss stepped forward and tilted his helmet to the side,
“Gedet'ye.” The modulated voice sounded strange to your ears. He was only ever this softly-spoken with the Child.
“Well, this is unexpected. In that case-” You didn’t have time to react, watching as the world twirled around you before you fell among the purple and pink flowers you were so impressed by earlier. A strange scent hit your nostrils but you couldn’t dwell on it for more than a few seconds. Willing yourself to stand up, you pushed off the ground as soon as you saw the kid waddling towards you. As soon as he tried to walk behind you, you knew what he was trying to do and picked him up before he could do anything.
“No little guy...you- I can’t...I need to make sure you’re okay.” You could faintly hear the sound of blasters going off for a few moments and by the time you managed to take the gun out of your holster, you saw the Mandalorian standing above an unconscious reptilian creature. So that’s what a T'doshok is…
Slowly making your way towards them, you blinked away the tears and wiped your eyes to try and clear your sight. 
“Ad'ika, are you alright?” You shivered at the tone Mando was using with you. Dank Ferrik, you must have hit your head pretty hard if you thought the Mandalorian was worried about anyone but the green little thing in your arms.
“I- yes. I’ll be f-fine. Just-” You hadn’t meant to react the way you have but as soon as you felt his gloved hand touch your neck, you jerked away from him and held out your hand to stop him from coming any closer to you. Mando was shocked at your reaction and was glad to have something to hide behind. A few seconds passed in silence and you were still staring at him with wide open eyes and if he didn’t know any better, he’d think you were afraid of him. It occurred to him that it wasn’t shock that beat at his heart but a deep and twisting sense of hurt. And when he scanned your body language, he could tell you were trembling in front of him and the last thing he wanted to do was to give you another reason to fear him.
“Can you walk back to the-”
“Yes. I’ll- fu...I’ll take the kid.” Before he could say anything else, you were clutching the Child closer to your chest and walking back to the Razor Crest. You searched your mind to try and understand why you reacted the way you have to his touch but couldn’t find anything to explain the sharp pain striking through your insides. It was too much too quickly. Even though it wasn’t his skin, you felt neurons firing simultaneously as soon as he trailed his fingers down your neck. You hoped to the gods he wasn’t offended by your reaction because the last thing you needed was to drive him further away from you.
Barely making it back to the ship, you managed to go up the ladder and put the Child back in his crib in the cockpit before shutting it and locking the door behind you. Scrambling inside your mind for a moment, you turned to the ramp and walked towards the hatch before pushing in the code until it sealed shut. 
In an instant, everything touching your skin was too rough and incredibly heavy. Before you could think twice about it, you were violently stripping out of your clothes, throwing them to the ground on your way to the refresher. As soon as you walked into the small room, you turned on the cold water and sighed heavily as it beat down on your heated skin. 
“Not enough…” Crying to the empty room, you made sure the hot water wasn’t on before leaning back against the cool tiles of the walls. But no sooner than that were you hissing and pushing off of the wall. You completely forgot about the open gashes on your back and the shooting pain was almost instantaneous when you remembered just how large the wound was.
As you dwelled on the last hour or so, you felt your legs give out on you and before you knew it, you were sliding down to the floor. Eyes shutting slowly, you fell to the side and let the cold water run down your form. And as hard as you tried to stay awake, you couldn’t help your mind’s request as it begged to rest. You let sleep wash over you, the last sound ringing in your ear was Mando’s worried voice asking if you were okay.
Back outside, the bounty hunter was fuming with anger, not caring about how oddly violent he became with the quarry. He was never one to beat an unconscious being but something took over him when he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks. As he pushed his way through the forest, he thought back to the way you looked up at him with those innocent eyes. And he hated himself for the way his body reacted to your fragile body.
“Ni’duraa.” He whispered to himself when he saw the Crest come into view, continuing to pull the T'doshok until he walked up the ramp and onto the ship. It was awfully quiet but he decided to freeze the reptile before he walked around to look for you. Minutes later, he was ascending the ladder to the cockpit, unlocking it and reaching for the crib on his pilot chair. When he opened it and saw the kid cooing in his sleep, he shut it once more and left to look for you. It was strange how he couldn’t hear a single sound. You were normally talkative after a mission, and as he placed his weapons back on the wall, he noticed your clothes lying haphazardly on the ground. Mando sighed heavily as he picked them up, flushing violently when he saw the last two items leading into the refresher. Strange, you were never one to throw things around.
Not wanting to bother you anymore, he placed the clothes on your cot and ascended to the cockpit once more, wanting to leave Felucia as quickly as possible because he knew how the locals became when uninvited guests stayed for too long. As they left the sector, the Mandalorian couldn’t help but question why you were still in the refresher. You’d arrived long before him and it took him a while to navigate through the jungle because of how heavy the bounty was. 
Putting the ship on auto-pilot, he made his way to the refresher but not before noticing a strange scent fill his nostrils. Looking down at his hands, he noticed a bright purple powder covering his gloves and as soon as he brought his hands up to the edge of the visor, he was hit with many different sensations, all of which he could distinctively place back to you. Your honey-scented soap, the orange tea he saw you constantly drinking, the smell of your sweat on a particularly hot day when you tried to fix the ship...
“Fuck…” He swore before wiping his gloves against his cloak and approached the refresher. 
Knocking on the door, he waited a few moments for a response and breathed impatiently when  you didn’t bother to say anything.
“Open up, Cyar'ika.” He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly using such endearing words to call for you and when he was met with more silence, he groaned in annoyance before warning you. “If you don’t open the door now, I will break it.” Normally, you would have clapped back with a snarky comment that would get his blood boiling but he knew something was wrong when you remained quiet. Throwing propriety out the window, he kicked the door open and walked in, eyes searching the small room until they fell on your unconscious form under the water. 
“Maker,” kneeling to the ground, his heart clenched when he saw a viscous, black liquid oozing out of the gash on your back. How did he not notice this when you left? Quickly reaching for the left knob, he swore when he noticed the hot water wasn’t even on and almost broke the other one as he tried to switch it off. Why would you take such a cold shower when you weren’t even on a desert planet? Wiping your hair away from your face, the Mandalorian tried to wake you and began to feel anxiety seep into his clothes along with the water cascading down your body when he realized this was much worse than he thought. He took off his gloves and pushed you onto your back, trying his hardest to avert his gaze from your naked skin as he bent down and carried you out of the refresher. 
Opening his quarters, he laid you on his covers before grabbing the anesthetic above him and turning you on your stomach to care for the wounds. As he sprayed your back, he noticed the way you groaned in your sleep and forced himself to attend to the task at hand. He hoped to the gods there wasn’t any poison in the wound before he grabbed the bacta spray and slowly made his way down the skin of your back. He sighed in relief when he noticed your skin slowly shifting and sealing itself, trying to calm his increasing heart rate when he remembered just how fragile and naked you were beneath him. Some sick part of him was attracted to you even in such a state and he wished more than anything for you to be awake and willing to-
This is not how he pictured seeing you for the first time.
When you started shifting beneath him, he kneeled away from you and covered your legs, continuing to care for the wound on your lower back until it started to close as well. By the time he put all the medication back in its place, you were turning around and moaning in discomfort and Mando realized it was because you were probably still freezing from the cold water. Taking off his cloak, he barely draped it on your sleeping form when you pushed it off and turned on your back. He felt the fabric of his pants tighten around his crotch and looked away from you.
“Please...too- too much. I can’t-” He couldn’t understand what you were trying to say and moved to place the cloak on you again, head instantly turning to your face when you smacked the offensive object away from him and began to trail your fingers down your skin. He hadn’t meant to and before he could stop himself, he was watching as your fingers made their way down to your hips before dipping into the space between your thighs.
Maker be damned, how were you so glistening and flushed?
“M-Mando?” His eyes snapped to your face and watched as you spread your legs until he positioned between them. “Mando I need...you. I need you please, this is- it hurts. I can’t...it hurts so much. Please h-help me.” Your voice was filled with dangerous requests, and he felt his cock twitch in his pants when he saw the way you reached for his thighs and dragged your nails down to his knees. 
“Cyare, you don’t know what you’re asking.” He forced himself to keep his gaze on your face and nowhere else. But with every passing moment, the need to look at where he’d dreamt of feasting on for so many nights outgrew his respect for you. 
“Mando...I want you, n-need you...please, I promise I’ll be good. So so good for you, just- oh maker I-”
The small part of his brain that wasn’t ruled by his pulsing cock finally figured out what was happening and he growled as he pushed off of you and out to your cot. Grabbing your shirt, he turned it around and saw the same purple powder that was on his gloves coloring the whole front of your cloak. He recalled back to what happened when he left you and remembered where the T'doshok pushed you before he attacked him. 
Of course. The pollen from the spore plants.
Which meant that-
“Oh fuck.” The Mandalorian felt his insides churn when he realized what was taking place not ten feet away from him, and he felt his heart skip a beat when he knew what could potentially happen to you if your...needs weren't properly met. With reluctance, he made his way back to his sleeping cot and felt his chest tighten when he saw what you were doing.
You were on your side, fingers rubbing furiously at your soaking core and whimpering at the consistent and harsh touches passing through your nerves. But it wasn’t the mess you were making that caught his attention. No, it was the fact that you had his cowl twisted between your thighs and around your back. He watched in awe as you pushed your face into the rough material, taking in deep breaths to try and fill your nostrils with his scent. Taking one step closer to you, his eyes bore into your heated skin and he choked on air when he saw you lick at the hood of the cloak before taking your fingers out of your cunt and replacing them with his cowl. He couldn’t believe his eyes and the thought of wearing it around with your scent sticking to it broke him. 
Mando looked around the ship for a few moments in an attempt to think of what he should do. Swallowing the dry lump in his throat, he approached your slowly and gasped when he met your eyes and saw the way you were looking at him.
“M-mando! Please...fuck me. I- I need you to...don’t c-care how. I promise I’ll do anything, wh-whatever you want...ple-please.” Chills ran down your spine when you forced yourself to throw the cowl away. Turning around, you laid on your stomach and took a deep breath before raising your lower half off of the covers. As you rested your head on your arm and bit into your wrist, you looked back to the beskar-clad man, silently pleading with him while swaying your ass in the air. 
“Gota'la…” Before the Mandalorian could talk himself out of it, he was kicking his heavy shoes away and making his way closer to you. A part of him screamed that of the two of you, he was the one less affected by the pollen and was technically responsible for whatever transpired next. And he was close to asking you if you were sure you wanted to take this further if it weren’t for the way you reached beneath you and faintly trailed your fingers through your soaking slit. 
“Ad'ika, gar cuyir mesh'la.” He was speaking to himself more than to you and smiled to himself when he noticed your cunt clenching around nothing as soon as his words filled the silence. “Sweet girl, you like it when I speak to you in Mando’a?” You shivered at his tone and found it difficult to respond to him, especially when you could tell he was definitely not looking at you but at the mess you were making on his bed. A loud cry rang through the small room when you felt his hand come down on your backside before squeezing the flushed skin. 
“I asked you a question Cyar'ika.” His deep and modulated voice only made it worse and you found yourself nodding at him before whispering out a low ‘yes.’
“K'olar,” you squealed when you felt Mando twirl your around onto your back before pulling your naked body flush to his still-clothed one. You were about to beg him to just fuck you already when he shoved two of his fingers into your mouth to shush you. You moaned shamelessly around his fingers, whining even louder when you realized you were sucking on his calloused skin and not on the gloves he almost never took off unless he was alone. 
“You’re going to come just like this sweet girl.” Mando manhandled you until you were straddling one of his thighs, growling impatiently when you tried to push yourself away from him. His arm tightened around your waist, pushing you down on the beskar cuisse until you finally understood what he wanted from you.
“C-cold…”
“Be a good girl and drench my armor little one. Let me walk around with the memory of your cunt dripping on me.” His words hit too close to your somewhat aware mind and you chose to dwell on their meaning later. Softly inching your hands onto his shoulders, you fisted your fingers into his shirt to support your weight before dragging yourself against the rugged and cool beskar in between your thighs. As you threw your head back and sighed in pleasure, Mando couldn’t help but squeeze the heated skin of your hip, knowing very well there would soon be fingerprint marks wherever he touched you. 
“That’s it...could smell how much you want me Cyare. Can’t believe you’re in my arms...look at you, using my thighs to get off.” You barely managed to turn your attention to him, lips still enclosed around his fingers and biting down on them the more he shoved them in your mouth.
“Mando I- I need to-” Before you could finish your request, Mando was wrapping the other arm around hips and violently dragging you against his cuisse, looking down to watch as your juices dripped on his beskar armor. 
“What a sight…” He groaned and turned his gaze towards you again just in time to watch you fall apart on him. He marveled at how quickly he brought you to pleasure and figured it must have been the pollen making you extra sensitive to his ministrations. Wanting to stretch out your pleasure for as long as possible, he threw you back onto his bed and pushed your thighs open, not giving you a chance to question him as he shoved two fingers into your cunt and massaged that spongy spot deep inside you. You arched your back and grasped at his arms, barely managing to look at the visor just as he increased pressure and fucked you with his fingers. 
“M-MANdo oh g-gods-”
“Scream my name sweet girl, and only my name.” Had you actually listened to what he said, you would have sassed back at him and told him you didn’t actually know his name. But you couldn’t care less at the moment, digging your fingers into his forearms as you came around his thick fingers, repeatedly praying his “name” until you couldn’t remember anything else.
“Mesh'la...you’re so tight and warm for me...that’s it, squeeze my fingers like the good little girl you are.” Mando watched as you came around his fingers, his eyes not knowing where to look and wishing he could taste the sweat sticking on your neck as you whimpered beneath him. 
He heard it before he felt it, moaning in blind lust as he took in the sight beneath him. Your legs shook violently as you, quite literally, drenched his thighs and blankets with your cum and Mando didn’t know if he wanted to lick you dry or stuff his nose into your pulsating cunt. 
“Sweet fucking darling, look at the mess you’ve made,” you shivered when you felt his fingers leave your slit, blinking hazily and turning to look at where he was staring. When you saw what he was referring to, you quickly covered yourself and tried to move away from him, embarrassment washing over you when you saw the way he was so obviously staring at the wetness dripping down your. But Mando was much quicker than you, grabbing your thighs and pushing them wide open again before laying in between them and dragging his crotch across your sensitive clit. 
“Never hide from me,” you nodded instantly and the Mandalorian would never admit feeling his chest fill with pride at the lust-filled fear he instilled into you with only a few words. Your chest heaved as you continued to look into the visor, almost whimpering when you were met with incredibly dazed eyes and messy hair staring right back at you. It was quiet for a few moments, the only proof that Mando was very much aware of your state being the hardness twitching against your sensitive cunt. 
Mando wasn’t sure what to do with you. He wanted to simultaneously fuck you into the next system and lick every inch of you until you couldn’t take it anymore. “I can smell your cunt Ad'ika...can almost taste your neediness.”
“Ma-mando I- I want you to r-” You felt so naked beneath him, wishing he’d at least take off his clothes before this went any further. Not a single care was given to his helmet and it was out of the question to even attempt and ask him if he could take it off. You just wanted to feel his skin sliding against yours as he fucked you. Nothing else mattered. Just his scarred and sweaty muscles contracting and trailing over your own. 
“What is it sweet girl?” His voice felt like a thousand needles piercing your soul and you didn’t realize where your hands were moving until you felt him roughly grab your wrists and slam them above your head. You could tell there was a shift in the air around you and ceased to breathe when you no longer heard his moans. 
“This is the way.” Those four words hurt you more than they should have. 
“I- I would never ask you to...I swear I just wanted- I wanted to touch you. Not take it off...please I-” Mando felt his heart shatter into a million pieces because somehow, even in your most inebriated state, you respected him. You put him before yourself. And he ceased to breathe when he sat up and watched as you grabbed at his arms and refused to let go.
“N-no don’t go...I need you- d-don’t leave me pl-” Your breathing was erratic and the Mandalorian feared you’d spiral into shock. Without thinking much of his next moves, he grabbed the nearest item of clothing and ripped a small piece of it, returning to rest between your knees and not giving you a choice as he wrapped the band around your eyes and tied it in the back. You trailed your fingers over the band and pulled away instantly when you felt his the hair on his wrist. 
“I’m sorry…” Mando thought of your actions so far and knew in his heart that if there was ever another who’d look upon him, it would be you. Softly taking your hands in his, he pulled them towards his helmet and rested them at the side.
“T-take it off.”
“I can’t...Mando, you don’t have to- I swear I was only-” As hard as it was to say those words, you wanted him to know that he owed you nothing. And you hated how selfish you were being in that moment because the man was trying to tell you something and you were only worrying about yourself and how much your cunt ached for him. You were so close to pushing him on his back and taking your pleasure from him but something told you it would be worth the wait. 
“Mesh'la, I want you to.” You always marveled at how much the Mandalorian could convey in only a few words and shouldn’t have been surprised when you felt just how much he was willing to put his trust in you. Not wanting to scare him, you slowly pulled on the visor until it was completely off, remaining motionless as he took it from your hands and placed it on the floor. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do with your hands so you kept them to the side, fisting your fingers into the blankets to prevent you from reaching out and touching his face. 
Mando could tell you wanted to touch him. You even told him yourself. So he made the decision for you and leaned down, passing his lips over your forehead and smiling down at you when he heard you suck in a breath. You gasped when you felt his beard tickle your cheeks. He had a beard. Of course he had a beard. But as he continued to leave kisses over your face, you realized it wasn’t really a full-grown beard. It didn’t matter in the end because he was driving you insane with every small pass of his plump lips near where you wanted him.
As he finally molded his lips with yours, you felt him pull your hands up to his face and lay them on his cheeks, the groan escaping his throat letting you know he enjoyed you touching him as much as you, perhaps even more. The kiss grew frantic the more you explored his naked skin, and you couldn’t hold back the long moan that erupted into his mouth as soon as you felt him suck on your tongue. When you pulled on his soft hair, Mando couldn’t help but growl into the heated kiss, not caring for how rough he was being as he grabbed and squeezed your thighs. 
But the kiss was over as soon as it began and you whined after him when you felt him pull away from you. You felt your fingers ascend to your face but remembered why the Mandalorian blindfolded you in the first place. Not wanting to lose his trust, you pushed your arms beneath your back to prevent any temptations from taking place. Unbeknownst to you, Mando was watching every little muscle twitch on your nude form and he almost devoured you right then and there when he saw you quickly moving your fingers from your face. 
He was amazed by how caring you were even when you didn’t hold any proper level of the right consciousness. Anyone else would have removed the cloth and blamed the pollen. But not you. 
You were special. 
Refusing to waste any more time, Mando made quick work of the beskar armor, not caring about the mess he was making just outside his room. He kept his eyes on you the entire time, smiling when he noticed you shivering beneath his gaze. He was on you as soon as he deposited his long-sleeve and pants, devouring your mouth and digging his fingers into your waist as he rutted against you. 
“Ner-” 
The possessiveness was almost palpable and he surprised even himself at the single syllable. Since when was he like this?
“Mando,” you whispered his name as you wrapped your arms around his back and pulled him flush against you, sighing in relief when you felt the hair of his chest tickle your nipples. Mando noticed your reaction and instantly descended on your heaving chest, biting and licking and pinching at the hardened buds until you begged him to slow down.
“Ni'm liser't...taylir norac. You’re so fucking delicious.” The way he effortlessly switched between his mother tongue and Basic shouldn’t have turned you on this much and yet you were. 
“Fuck me.” Your words were dripping with desperation and the Mandalorian wasn’t able to hold any longer. He wanted to take his time with you, commit every little curve to memory. Memorize what made your breath hitch and what made you sigh. 
But the request ended all of his curiosity and before you knew it, you felt him roughly pull down on his boxer briefs. You flushed when you heard the sound of his hand jerking his cock, mouth falling wide open when it jutted at your inner thighs and you felt how fucking hard and thick it was. 
“What will it be sweet girl? You want me to make love to you,” he paused for a moment and took advantage of your distracted expression, rubbing the head of his cock against your wet slit and biting his lips when he felt you arch against him at the simple yet filthy movement. “Or fuck you like I own you…like you’re mine.”
Hearing him say ‘fuck’ in such a vulgar tone did it for you and you didn’t know what to do with yourself except widen your legs more for him and grab the bed sheets beneath you.
“F-fuck me like you own me Mando...ruin me. Take what you want and- oh maker you’re so- so...fu- please, u-use me however you want. Just- I need your cock. Need to cum on your cock...can’t wait anym-”
Mando was sure he broke you with his words, watching in awe as you begged and begged until you couldn’t breathe anymore. There was no warning, no asking if you were ready for him. There was just your wet cunt teasing him until he couldn’t bear the thought of not being deep inside your pussy.
Resting his head against yours, he took his painfully hard cock in his hand and shoved it past your wet lips, letting out a deep growl as he felt you scratch his back.
“Mando, Mando, M-mando…”
You didn’t find the strength to think of a proper sentence to express what you were feeling so you opted to pray his name over and over again. He was shaking above you and you knew instantly he was trying his hardest not to break you.
“Take what you want- I...I won’t break.” 
Just hearing you say those words to him almost made him cum right then and there. You were returning the trust he gave you and he knew there was no way of putting this moment behind him even if he tried. 
Pulling out until only the head of his cock was splitting you open, Mando bucked his hips violently back into you, whispering the filthiest promises into your ears as he set a rough pace that had you seeing worlds you didn’t even know existed. 
“So, fucking, tight...how are you so wet and tight for me Cyare?” It took you a while to realize you were hearing his voice without the modulator of his mask. How had you not noticed how beautifully sinful it was when he first took it off? You wanted to tell him how much you loved hearing his thick and smooth voice. You wanted to kiss down his neck and bite onto his shoulders. You wanted to push him down and force his cock inside your throat. 
So much. You wanted so much. 
But you couldn’t find your voice in that moment. Not when he was railing into you with such an unforgiving force. 
“Made for me...made to take my cock. Such a sweet fucking girl- ah.” You should have known Mando would not be the quiet type in bed. He was a man of few words during his day-to-day life so of course he would take this chance and spill out his innermost thoughts. But it surprised you nonetheless considering how downright dirty his moans and whispers were. And you were sure he was as filthy, if not more, when he continued to speak in Mando’a. 
With every passing moment, you felt a piece of your heart split from your chest and slowly make its way into his hands. He was branding you, his cock reaching so deep inside you that you were sure you could feel him right below your navel if you only moved your hands against your skin. But you couldn’t afford to let go of him, not when he was using you just as you requested. 
“Mando you...maker, you’re filling me so- so good. I- please, can I cum? I want t- to cum. Been so good for you. Need to-” The chuckle that left his lips was sweet music to your ears until you realized he might be laughing at how pathetic you were. 
“Fucking gods Ad'ika...fill you up? Is that what you want sweet girl? You want me to- fuck, fuck...want me to fill you up with my cum? You’re killing me baby.” His voice was hoarse and he realized his mistake as soon as the words left his lips. The last thing he wanted was to scare you away from him. It was his deeped, darkest secret. He swore he would go to his grave with it. Too often he thought of breeding you, fucking you and fill you up until his cum leaked out of you and you couldn’t move. Too many nights he went to sleep thinking of what it would feel like to wake up with your sweet cunt still wrapped around his cock. What he’d give to ensure not a single drop went to waste. 
Too many days were spent dreaming of giving that little womp rat a sibling to run around with. 
Your silence didn’t go unnoticed by him and he was about to slow down when he felt your hands grab his ass and push you closer to him.
“Want your cum Mando...want you to cum inside me, fill me up until I can’t breathe...oh fuck, until I can’t feel anything but your cum hot and deep inside me. Fuck a baby inside me Mando I- oh oh gods I-” Mando couldn’t hold back anymore, violently pushing his cock inside you and swallowing your moans every time they echoed just a little louder than he preferred. He groaned in ecstasy when he looked down and saw pure bliss etched on your soft features. You clenched around him, thighs vibrating around his hips as he somehow drove into you harder and carried you past the point of pleasure. You didn’t know you were coming around him until you heard him whisper ‘good girl’ in your ears. And it sent a jolt down his spine when he continued to rut against you and fill the ship with the heavy sounds of skin slapping on skin. It was almost painful, the way he didn’t let up and continued to rail into you without a single care. 
“Mine...mine, fucking mine. That’s it sweet girl, feel me. Feel me marking your fucking soul.” He was a mumbling mess at this point and he wasn’t sure if it was because you were panting like an animal in heat or because of the way you desperately licked and kissed and nipped at his neck and lips. 
“Yes, I’m yours Mando. Yours...always have been.”
The heaviness of your words struck his heart instantly, and he shoved his cock so deep inside you he swore he could feel your heartbeat. Mando rested his head in the crook of your neck, biting harder than intended on your shoulder as hot spurts of cum coated your inner walls. You feel a sudden warmth wash over you and dug your nails into his ass as he thrust once, twice, three times before stilling completely. 
The two of you continued to breathe heavily against each other and when Mando moved his knees to get comfortable between your thighs, you unintentionally squeezed his cock and felt him twitch inside you.
“Ni chaabar gar, cyar'ika.” It was such a silent comment and you knew this was much different than everything he’d said thus far. Something about his tone told you he was spilling his heart out and you wished more than anything to ask him what he was saying but knew you shouldn’t...wouldn’t. Not unless you wanted him to continue and speak to you.
You were brought back from your thoughts when the Mandalorian kissed your lips, and you felt yourself drowning in his scent when he rubbed your hair and nudged your jaw with his nose.
“Gar cuyir too jaon'yc at ni. Ni liser't nibral gar.” Slowly, Mando wrapped his arms around you and rolled you over until you were practically sleeping on top of him. The two of you hissed when you felt his cock leave your heat and Mando wished more than anything to spread your thighs and watch as his cum leaked down your thighs. No worries, he’d do that later.
Later…
Oh what he would give for there to be a ‘later’ with you. 
The thought of not being able to have you again snapped him back to reality and he realized there was a very high chance this would never happen again because as far as he knew, this was only a consequence of the pollen.
Not wanting to bother you with his insecurities, Mando pushed your head down onto his chest and rubbed your shoulders, telling you to get some rest and to not worry about anything else. 
Hours later, Mando was waking up to a soft noise emitting from beneath him. As he rubbed his eyes and took in his surroundings, he looked down and noticed you were still very much naked and cold next to him. Pulling the covers over you, he allowed his eyes to feed on your curves before meeting your face. Dread filled his heart as soon as he saw the wet patch on the band around your eyes. 
You must have woken up and realized what happened. A thousand different scenarios flew through his mind and Mando knew that almost each one of them was caused by your regret of sleeping with him. 
“Ad'ika, are you alright?” When you didn’t respond and sniffed loudly, Mando knew he had to brace for the worst. 
“Please...are you hurt anywhere?” Hearing his pleas was what did it for you and you threw yourself into his chest. 
“Mando I- I took advantage of you. I’m so sorry, I- I didn’t know what was happening...I promise I- please don’t tell me to leave. I can’t leave you or the Child. I- I promise I’ll pretend this never happened. Just- don’t leave me. I can’t bear the thought of living without you...without him.”
Of all the things the Mandalorian thought he would hear from you, those were certainly the last to make the list. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so lucky with you? Not only did you refuse to take the blindfold off when you woke up but you genuinely thought you’d forced him into sleeping with you.
“Cyare, it hurts to see you cry. Come here.” Mando sat up against the cold metal wall, pulling you into his lap and wrapping the covers around you so you weren’t exposed to the cold air of the ship. 
“You didn’t take advantage of me sweet girl. If anything, I- I should be the one apologizing. I was not hit with the effects of the pollen as much as you have been and...and I should have refused your pleas. But you looked so beautiful, Cyar'ika. You prayed for me to have you and I- I was selfish. I was selfish and I couldn’t stop myself from sinking into you. Branding you. Being with you.” To say you were surprised by his words would have been the understatement of the century. 
The Mandalorian wanted you. He wanted to have you. He wanted to be with you. 
“I-I’ve wanted you for so long...spent so many nights dreaming of being with you.” You confessed to him before you could think of the meaning behind your words and you were met with a deep sigh and a kiss on the lips almost immediately. 
“How long Mesh'la?” 
“S-since Tatooine.” 
Mando’s heart skipped a beat at the short yet direct response. He’s only ever been to Tatooine once with you, months and months ago when he needed Peli to fix something on the Crest for him. You hadn’t even been with their group for three weeks then. So busy thinking of all the ways he could have had you since then, Mando didn’t notice how the silence affected you until your fingers twitched against his chest. 
“Mando?”
“That was eons ago.” It was more of a comment than a question and you weren’t sure if he was angry or surprised. 
“Is...is that bad?”
“Bad? No Ad'ika, not bad.” When he didn’t offer more of an explanation, you rested your head on his chest and continued to draw circles on his naked abdomen. 
You weren’t sure how long you sat there in each others arms but the faint sounds of cooing and laughter snapped you out of your haze and you realized you should probably get up and make something for the kid to eat. Before you could move away from him however, Mando was bringing you closer to him and kissing you again. You knew you could never tire from feeling his lips mold and pass over yours and you welcomed his tongue with as much vigor as you could muster up.
As he pulled away, you smiled at him and wished more than anything to be able to see him smile back at you. 
“Din.”
“Hmm?”
“My name...it’s Din. Din Djarin.” 
Mando could see the exact moment you registered what he just said and he smirked to himself at how pretty you looked when something shocking took place. 
“Din.” You repeated his name silently, afraid this would all be a dream and that he didn’t actually just tell you something that was so important to him.
“You didn’t have to tell me…” You traced his jaw with your fingers and marveled at how oddly soft his beard was. 
“I didn’t, but I wanted to.” Din was silent for a few seconds before he flipped you beneath him and took hold of your wrists before slamming them harshly above your head. “I wanted you to know it, Mesh'la, so you could scream it the next time I fucked this sweet and tight cunt.” 
For a man of few words, he sure knew what to say to get you worked up again.
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Translations: 
Ni Kelir kyr'amur gar meh gar vaabir not ba'slanar kaysh - I will kill you if you do not leave her.
Ni vaabir not baatir te waadas. - I do not care about the credits.
Gedet'ye. - Please.
Ad'ika - Little one
Ni’duraa! - You disgust me.
Cyar'ika - Darling/Sweetheart
Cyare - Beloved
Gota'la - Maker.
Gar cuyir mesh'la. - You are beautiful. 
K'olar - Come here.
Mesh'la - Beautiful
Ner - Mine.
Ni'm liser't...taylir norac. - I can’t...hold back.
Ni chaabar gar, cyar'ika. - I fear you, darling.
Gar cuyir too jaon'yc at ni. Ni liser't nibral gar. - You are too important to me. I can’t lose you.
4K notes · View notes
ballorawan740 · 3 years
Text
SCP Scenarios: SCP 173 (The Sculpture) x Reader | NEW CHARACTER
SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Rules | My Original Post | Request | Socials
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(Don't ask about that GIF)
I did change 173 slightly in a way that he can move his limbs and communicate verbally, so Peanut here would be a tiny bit OC
First Encounter
You both met in 173's cell
For some reason, when you blinked, 173 just stood in front of you
Like, this peanut didn't kill you or anything
It was more as if he was interested in you
He somehow found the ability to talk
Even patted your head to your surprise
This also supposed the whole of the facility since they've only observed 173 spanning everyone's neck and teleporting
And they've never seen him move his arms since he's a literal peanut statue that secretes poop (and blood I guess)
Your feelings for him
You began to realise you fell for him after someone had mentioned how often you visited the statue
Definitely would try to hide it, to begin with (Cuz it's odd that y'all be falling for a peanut statue)
But later on, you decide to drop hints about it to your crush, Peanut
He looked as if he was clueless
But he definitely has gotten the hint way before you even realised your feelings for him
Because you make him feel butterflies
If anyone tries to flirt with the statue, you would become furious (Cuz you paid for this statue)
Most likely would tease you at times
His Confession
Probably would plan it out
Which didn't work at all
So 173 would just do it out of the blue
To which you agreed of course (Cuz y'all need some Jesus! At least you weren't like Clef when he- nvm)
Definitely surprised the foundation as well since nobody has ever fallen for this statue before (Aside from Clef)
Some would give you both odd looks while others were more curious about your relationship
Probably would conduct tests between the both of you
Only because they want to see if 173's behaviour would change
Like if someone blinked while standing behind you
Date
Since the foundation doesn't let 173 out of his cell, most of your dates would be in there
173 would be similar to 035 since he's pretty chill and laidback
You both would be laying on the floor and looking up at the ceiling
Probably talking about a lot of BS
Probably would tell you his favourite method of killing (which totally isn't snapping necks)
You both would tell each other about your day and peanut would joke around a lot
Is rather sassy as well so if anyone judges, you can always count on 173 to save you
Most likely by snapping their necks
Or sassing them out to the point of no return
When he gets jealous
It's rare to see 173 jealous since he's quite laid back and doesn't really mind who you're with
If 173 does get jealous he would most likely snap their neck
Or just teleport behind you and just stare at whoever is hitting on you
Or he would bend down to their height (if they're short ofc) which does are them off quite a bit
Would definitely drag you back into his cell to which surprised the researchers
Because they found out that the cameras were working and they heard screaming coming near/from his cell
Peanut can be slightly possessive of you
Especially when he knows somebody is hitting on you on purpose regardless of whether they knew you were taken or not
Most likely would ask you who you are hanging out with and for how long
When there's a containment breach
There's a 50% chance that he caused the breach
Whether he did it or not he would look for you
As he's looking for you he would snap some necks
Even gave 682 a heart attack
More than once actually but we don't talk about that here (cuz that hurts 682's heart)
Could care less about every other SCPs/workers
If you were hurt peanut would hunt down whoever did it to you
Probably would stroll down the facility instead of teleporting
To which you giggled
The look on the researchers' faces when they saw 173 frolic across the hallway and back into his cell was priceless
You were even there to witness it and everyone looked at you like they've just seen a ghost
Yandere!173
Would lock you up in his cell
Probably would tie you up as well
Definitely would torment you by teleporting in front and away from you
Sometimes would blindfold you
Not even the researchers could get you out
They've even asked 131 for some help and it didn't work as effectively as they thought for whatever reason
If you somehow managed to escape your freedom wouldn't last long
173 would manipulate you to the point that you felt that there weren't any way out for you
So in the end, you just stayed in his cell (probably regretting life choices while you're at it)
At least he's nice enough to let you eat proper food served in the foundation (had to make that clear in case y'all didn't get the hint and thought he gave you smth else to eat)
His younger sister
You're both alike and very close indeed
The foundation was shocked at how alike you both were
And you both were inseparable
So every time there's a breach and they see either of you, they know the other is just around the corner
You both would be sassy, sarcastic and funny
The foundation would be entertained by your remarks
Although you may or may not snap necks like peanut, you do display some form of curiosity towards the foundation staff and the SCPs
Like that one time when there was a containment breach and you leaned in rather close to this rookie and he just screamed as he laid on the floor
He did get quite a lecture afterwards but you decided to just tease him whenever you both meet
When his kid says their name for the first time
Would be joyful af
Nobody would hear the end of it
Like imagine the last words you hear is 173 telling you how his kid spoke their name
Like it took them so long to just get the pronunciation right
Tries to get them to swear late on though
Much to your dismay
173 is a cool and laid back type of dad so you wouldn't have to worry too much when you're away
Unless it's about being a good influence then you should (Not that it matters anyway...)
Probably would teleport to whoever/whatever just tp tell them about it
Even bothered 682 to the point that the lizard begged the foundation researchers to remove either of them
When his S/O is angry
Would run/teleport 10000000000000000000 miles away
Especially if you're mad at him
Probably because he broke your favourite cup and didn't tell you about it because he know that your best friend gave it to you as a gift (Don't say y'all don't have friends)
Would try to calm you down after a while though
Which didn't work too well because you still wanted to rip his head off
If it was somebody else who made you mad he would probably be entertained
Unless it affects himself of course
Probably would try to hold you back and get you to calm down
In which you wanted to rip off his head as well which ended so well for peanut
If 173 cant run anywhere he would just hide in the corner and cry
Probably would as the researchers for some help as well
They don't because they don't want to die either
When someone tries to steal you away
When peanut finds out he would hunt down whoever tried to steal you without hesitation
Would snap his neck and everyone else who were involved or knows about it
Takes you back to his cell
Checks if you were hurt even though you were looking at the kidnapper's @ss
Would try to stay by your side at all times even though he knows he can't
Stares at the researchers every time they talk to you
If it was a D-class they would die in an instant
Has a burning hatred for certain kinds of people
When his Pregnant!S/O gets hurt by accident
Cries without a doubt
Would bandage you up without a doubt
Would cheer you up by doing weird dances and impressions
Most likely would tell you off as well but your puppy eyes get to him
So he would just take that back and just baby you
Would kneel down to talk to the unborn child about your bad behaviour
You swore you felt it kick
173 would get all excited and more protective than usual
Wouldn't let anyone near you unless you were going into labourr
Meeting a Fem!Dragon!Hybrid!Reader
Would be quite curious about you
Finds you rather cute because you're so pure, kind and small
Wants to adopt you without a doubt
The researchers would have mixed feelings about you being in the same cell as 173
Peanut was lowkey terrified when you breathed fire
Was somewhat ok with you crying lava and levitating objects for a bit
Somehow managed to get 343 and/or Scarlet King to help you improve your telekinesis
Definitely would play hide and seek with you and some others
They don't get a say otherwise peanut would snap their necks
When he accidentally kills you
It was when some guy unintentionally pushed you which angered 173
Like he teleported to him and his friends
You tried to explain but 173 didn't listen so he proceeds to snap everyone's necks
Trying your best to defend the poor guy, you stepped in front of them which lead to 173 snapping your neck as well
The guy was shocked but managed to run before anything happened
Word got around that 173 had snapped your neck and was now permanently depressed
Like, he stopped snapping everyone's neck for quite sometime
Felt so guilty that he went to 049 to see if he can fix you
But he wasn't able to so he went to SK and God
They were transported to another facility so they weren't able to do much for this statue
Yandere!173 x Evil!Reader
Not as dense as some of the other SCPs but 173 wouldn't have guessed that you worked for another GOI other than the foundation
Since you used your knowledge of 173 to your advantage, 173 would find out rather late
173 found out who you were working with since the late arrival of the Black Queen came by to collect you
173 would try and kidnap you back into his cell at the Foundation but failed miserably
Would try and warn the foundation but they couldn't get you back either
Since you were with the Black Queen, 173 was plotting to get you back without any distraction
The foundation realised how dangerous 173 has become and isolated him far from the other SCPs
At times, the foundation would use your name in order to get 173 to work with them which worked 50% of the times
Trying McDonald's Sprite
Would be confused about this 'Sprite' from McDonald's since he doesn't eat or drink anyways
173 would be rather curious about this beverage and does give it a try
Finds it tasty and you soon realise he has officially become a sweet tooth
Was probably a mistake but if you ever needed to bribe 173, get him some Sprite that's specifically from McDonald's
Like that one time you bought him Sprite from Tesco's, he said it tasted more disgusting and refused to finish the drink
You should probably give him some apple pies, pancakes and some other sweet stuff from McDonald's
Sometimes the foundation would even give him some Sprite whenever the cleaners are cleaning his cell
Would find it amusing that the only way to get him to stop snapping necks are Sprite
When his kids swear
Would 100% be ok with it
173 probably is the one who taught his child to swear
Probably would let them drink alcohol at a young age as well
Maybe around their teenage years, but would let them try a sip if they're under 10
Wouldn't even be mad if his kid swears accidentally
Peanut would most likely encourage it
Doesn't mind if his kid swears at others, but the others would probably complain
When Child!Reader scares him
Wouldn't be hard to scare 173 tbh because you're so small
You'd be running around and giggling while doing whatever
Until there's some silence
173 would probably brush it off at first until he didn't hear a sound for 20 minutes
Does check around his cell to make sure you're still there
Panics because he can't see you
Until he turns around and had a full-on heart attack because you jumped on him
The researchers definitely hear a screech coming from his cell
They all started laughing once they found out
When the reader pole dances/aerial silk dances
Very similar to 035
Would be in awe of you dancing for him
If you were pole dancing he would probably watch you with those eyes~
Most likely end up in you both performing in another activity
If you were aerial silk dancing, 173 would probably be amazed
Would try and dance with you but fails terribly
Because he keeps dropping like dead flies
Most likely broke his back
Sometimes the researchers wonder how it's even possible for 173 to break his "bones"
Having a Pregnant!S/O
Would crack a lot of dad jokes here and there
Follows wherever you go
Rubs your belly whenever he can
Definitely would make a full conversation with the unborn child
Sometimes would read stories that do make you feel sleepy
Does whatever you tell him to do
Cracks some necks if he can't give you what you need
Would cry whenever you have your mood swings
During labour, you grabbed his arm so hard that it almost broke him
When you try to commit suicide
Would teleport to your side at an instant
Wouldn't let you out of his sight ever again
173 would try to cheer you up which may or may not work
Definitely would kill whoever made you feel this way if any
Make you stay in his cell for a while
Maybe even permanently
Wouldnt let anyone touch you
If you had any scars 173 would cry
Peanut would try his best to stop you from feeling that way
Having a Hopelessly Romantic/Easily flustered GN!Reader
Would definitely tease you
173 would find it adorable that you fluster easily and is hopelessly romantic
I'd say he's pretty hopelessly romantic to a certain degree
Will kill if anyone teases you
Because your adorable flushed look is only reserved for him
Although he would tell all the other SCPs about you
049 and 035 get it the hardest but 035 is completely fine with it
049 would rather just stay in his cell than to hear 173 talk about you for 200 hours
Probably knows more about you than peanut himself
173 would boop your snoot whenever you have that cute look
When you're about to be executed - Yandere!173 x D-Class!Reader
173 would snap everyone's neck and kidnap you back to his cell
If anyone ever mentions your name, 173 would instantly snap their necks
And if they ever tried to find you, he would know and would hide you somewhere else
If you ever tried to flee, 173 would teleport to your side and bribe you to stay 'home'
By bribe, I mean he would force you to return by teleporting the both of you
If anyone sees the both of you, 173 would stalk them to no end
Would torture them if they were to tell the foundation about this
Not even the other SCPs could help
When you curl up in their lap
Would find you the cutest thing on Earth
Aside from 999 of course
If he's exhausted from doing nothing, he would probably just rub your head/back
Definitely would tickle you whenever he can
Finds it comforting when you do curl up in his lap
Thinks that you're so cute to the point that he would kill for you
When you kiss his neck
10000000000000% loves it
Would definitely be vocal because he has no shame
Most likely would ask you to do it again
Even if you were in the middle of talking to someone and they hear him
If you were in the mood, you could tease him with neck kisses for hours on end
Probably would ask you to move on to the next activity but you know he loves being teased
Then after that go back to cuddling
173 would scream but the last time that happened the whole foundation went deaf and you gave him the cold shoulder for a while
Definitely cried about that so he tries to restrain himself
But you feel bad so you just carried on
127 notes · View notes
emerald-chaos · 3 years
Text
Insomnia
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*gif not made by me, credit goes to the owner*
Hi Everyone! So it's been probably like...10 years since I wrote my last fic lol. Watching TFATWS has rekindled my undying love for Bucky Barnes and I just couldn't help but start writing again. I had to get my feelings out! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I've been considering writing some more parts...so tell me if that's something you'd be interested in! I appreciate any and all constructive feedback or just feedback in general! Much love.
Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes
Word Count: 2533 (lowkey popped off...oops)
Warnings: Just in case...vague allusions to a dark past, struggles with mental illness, explicit language, and some suggestive conversation. Oh and some really bad jokes lol. Fluffy and angsty.
No matter how much you tossed and turned, how many sheep you counted, or how much you prayed and pleaded to any higher power that would listen – the release of sleep just wasn’t going to happen. You’re not sure why you were surprised, it’s not like this was the first time. You let out a heavy sigh and toss off the covers. This has been a nightly occurrence for as long as you can remember. When you were trying to rest, when there was no noise to block out the images in your head, it was a battle. A battle which you have always lost.
You flip on the bright florescent lights of the bathroom as you trudge in, dragging your feet in exhaustion. It takes a minute for your eyes to adjust to the harshness of the light as you place your hands onto the countertop. The cool marble feels good against your palms as you close your eyes and lean your head back, another sigh leaving your lips. You twist your neck from side to side, trying to release some tension and maybe get a satisfying pop. No such luck. As you open your eyes and gaze upon the person staring back at you a small laugh tumbles from your chest.
Jesus, she looks awful.
The dark circles that permanently reside below your eyes appear more pronounced than usual. The corners of your mouth hang low and you just look…tired. Like you were rode hard and put away wet.
The bottle of melatonin tucked away on your counter catches your eye. You pick it up and twirl it as you inspect the writing. “Sleep Support” you read, “may help promote restful sleep”. What a load of shit. You place the bottle back down and inspect the orange one next to it. The pills inside were about as useful as the melatonin. Nothing seemed to quiet the voices or stop the scenarios that plagued your mind. You splash some cold water on your face and grab for a towel to pat it dry. Your eyes drift to the mirror again, as if though the water was going to wash away the dead look in your eyes.
Yeah, fat chance.
Before you know it, your legs are carrying you through the compound. The only sounds present are the whirring of various appliances and the soft patter of your feet against the tile floors. The moonlight casts shadows over the various pieces of furniture and lights your path. Your fingers curl around the handle as you pull the sliding glass door open. The crisp outside air kisses your skin as you step out and close the door behind you. You find yourself settling down in your usual spot on the balcony and you sink into the comfort of the chair.
Many a sleepless night has been spent out here, admiring the way the moonlight gleams off of a nearby pond. Before the compound and the balcony, it was a fire escape and a bottle of bourbon. You kind of missed that coping mechanism a little bit. You were thankful, of course, to call this place your home. Thankful to feel safe for once. Thankful to be a part of a team that felt like more of a family than any sorry piece of shit who had been in your life before. Not that you were bitter about that or anything. A little baggage builds character. However, life hasn’t always been kind to you and your stupid brain had a cruel way of constantly reminding you of that fact.
In all honesty, Tony rescued you. You absolutely hated to allow him to relish in that fact, but it was true. He took a chance on a royally fucked up kid out of college who managed to skate by and earn a mechanical engineering degree. If you were to ask him, he would say it was because the first words you said to him were fuck off. Apparently, something about that translated to, “hey, I would be a great addition to your tech and development team”. Although, you were pretty sure you just really meant that he should fuck off. I mean, the guy’s reputation does have a bit of moral gray area to it. Somehow, some way, your tenacity made an impression on the billionaire. Now here you were - living at the Avenger’s compound, sitting on a balcony at 3:30 in the morning because you couldn’t turn your brain off long enough to find some peace and sleep. What a life.
Even as you were sitting here in your special spot, reminiscing about some actual good memories – your brain still tried to drift into the darkness. Glass breaking; voices, thick with hate, engaged in a screaming match, and the cold nights spent trying to find a safe space to eat and lay your head. Your fingers gripped into the arms of the chair as you felt the heaviness in your chest increase.
“God damn it,” you cursed through gritted teeth.
The panic attacks were a second nature at this point, but you still really hated when you lost control. Your eyes closed tight as you tried to rack your brain to remember the bullshit your therapist had told you earlier in the week. Something about 5 things you can see?
“We gotta stop meeting like this, Doll”
The voice ripped you from inside your mind and back to reality. Your eyes opened and were met with a beautiful pair of cerulean ones. You blamed the skip in your heartbeat on your fading panic attack - although, you knew better than that.
“Well, it seems to me that the only logical conclusion is that you’re stalking me, Barnes” you quipped as a grin spread across your face.
“Could say the same about you,” Bucky retorted as he sank into the chair beside you, “besides, been doin’ this a lot longer than you’ve been around”.
You rolled your eyes, but the super soldier had a point. Almost each and every time, aside from the ones that happened when the team was away, you two would meet like this – here on the balcony, both searching for something to replace the sleep that neither of you could find.
“Yeah, we get it, you’re old” a laugh fell from your lips as Bucky snorted at your remark, a grin remaining ever present on his lips.
The familiar silence took over as he leaned his head back against the chair, closing his eyes. Meanwhile, yours were hungrily taking him in - tracing over the stubble on his chin, the soft pinkness of his parted lips. Recently he’d gotten his hair cut and even though you much preferred the long hair, you would rather die than actually admit that to him. Your crush on the 106 year old grumpy ass was one of your best kept secrets. At least, you thought you’d kept it from being painfully obvious.
The man sitting before you, he had a tough exterior and a horrific history, but you knew him better than that. You knew about the way his nose scrunched up when you made him laugh and the way his eyes looked as he listened intently to every story you ever told him. You knew the sweet melody of his laugh and the far off stare that meant he was also held captive by his own thoughts. This late-night rendezvous had become somewhat of a routine for the two of you and you would be lying if you said it wasn’t your favorite part of the day.
The first time it was a short nod and typical white person, thin-lipped smile as you left to find a different spot to suffer alone. Shortly after, it developed into cohabiting the balcony – staying on your own separate sides of course, only occasionally sharing words. Then, before you knew it, the two of you would be sitting beside each other, shooting the shit like you’d known each other for years. Just two, incredibly fucked up individuals, trying to make each other feel a little more human.
Bucky had always given off the quiet, brooding energy. Typically he kept to himself, other than with close friends like Steve, choosing to stand in the corner and listen to the conversation rather than be a part of it. Occasionally he would give a quip during a meeting that would catch people off guard, but mostly he just sat there and stared. The Bucky you had come to know was nothing like the person that others wanted to make him out to be. Sure, at one point he was a masterful assassin who killed like he got pleasure from it – but that wasn’t him. The Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes were not synonymous.
If only the world could meet Bucky at 3am.
“What’s going on in that empty head of yours over there?” Bucky’s voice once again brought you back to reality as you laid your eyes on the familiar grin plastered across his face.
“Please,” you huffed, cheeks tinted a light shade of pink at the thought of him catching you staring, “which one of us has a college degree again?”
His laugh was a symphony to your ears. Your smile mirrored his when he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at you.
“So, what is it tonight? That nightmare again?” he asked, voice dropping an octave as his facial features softened in a way you really hoped only you got to see.
“Mm, not quite” you responded, your voice a broken whisper.
Bucky wasn’t the type to pry, but with you he wouldn’t even have to. Talking to him, sharing your deepest secrets and fears, telling him about the nightmares that kept you awake at night – it all came easily. Too easily.
“This week it’s...it’s that image of my stupid mother. Standing there with her black eyes and busted lip, telling me that it was me that was the problem. That it was me who...” you swallowed hard, the heaviness creeping back into your chest and tears fighting to wet your eyes. God you hated that you let this get the best of you.
Just as your mind started to bring you back to that dark place it was interrupted by the feeling of warmth spreading over your body. You looked down to see Bucky’s large hand resting right above your knee. When your eyes met again, he gave you a soft look that made your heart scream.
“I’m sorry,” you could tell he meant it as he gave your knee a soft squeeze.
A small smile flashed over your face and you had to resist the urge to reach out and cup his soft, stubbled cheek in your hand.
“Hey, we’re all a little fucked up, right?” you joked.
“Some more than others,” he replied, those beautiful wrinkles appearing around his nose as he scrunched it up with another laugh.
“Thanks, Buck... I’m sure you’d rather be doing anything other than listening to my sob story,” you reluctantly broke eye contact and looked down at the hem of your shirt as you fiddled with it in your fingers.
You were all too aware at the loss of contact as Bucky drew his hand back and leaned back into his chair.
“Doll,” he started as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes again - you could swear you almost saw a grin on his lips, “there are very few things I’d rather do than sit with you on the balcony at 3am”.
At that moment it felt as though time stood still. Sure, you had flirtatious banter back and forth occasionally and made a habit out of spilling your deepest regrets to each other during the wee hours of the morning, but this felt different. This felt like a confession.
You’d be lying to yourself if you tried to convince yourself, or anyone else for that matter, that you didn’t have a thing for him. I mean - who wouldn’t? The guy was a gentleman; he was soft spoken and caring, he was a dork who loved to crack jokes at the most inappropriate times, the type of person who would give you the shirt off of his own back if it meant you were taken care of.
He....well, he was Bucky.
And god damn it if you didn’t love him.
You’re unsure of how much time has passed, but one minute you’re sitting on your chair, chewing your lip and droning on about the man in front of you in your head. The next minute you found yourself on his lap, knees seated on either side of his waist as your legs straddle him and your hands connect with the skin they so desperately craved to feel. Bucky’s eyes opened slowly and met yours as you let the pad of your thumb gently run along the curve of his bottom lip. The uneven breaths leaving your chest hitched as you felt his hands grip your hips softly. Refusing to break eye contact, Bucky gently pressed a kiss to the pad of your thumb. You dragged his lower lip down briefly.
“Well,” he began. His voice was barely above a whisper but it’s thick, lustful tone made you shiver from head to...well, you know, “are you gonna kiss me, Doll? Or do I have to do all the work myself?”
He barely finished his sentence before your lips captured his. It was messy, almost all teeth and tongue. It was needy, as if it was the last time either of you would ever kiss anyone again. It was fucking incredible.
Bucky’s metal arm snaked up your back and found its way into your hair, curling his fingers gently around the strands at the back of your head, as his other arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his form. He was intoxicating. This whole situation was something you had briefly imagined months ago, but ultimately pushed out of your mind. There was no way that he would ever be interested in someone like you. Yet, here he was, tongue fighting for entrance into your mouth.
You aren’t quite sure who pulled away first. Both of you were gasping for air, chests heaving up and down as you both stared into each other's lust-blown pupils.
“You kiss pretty well for someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend since 1940,” you teased, laughing as he rolls his eyes at the comment.
“You just don’t know when to shut that mouth of yours, do ya?” he practically growled, ever so slightly tightening his grip on your waist, and you almost lost it from just the sound of his voice alone.
“Why don’t you make me, Barnes?” you leaned in close, warm breath fanning over the shell of his ear.
A yelp escaped your throat as you were suddenly jerked up to a standing position, locking your ankles behind his back as he effortlessly held you up by your thighs.
“Oh Doll,” he chuckled darkly into your neck, almost making you pass out from the sensation, “I thought you’d never ask”.
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shah-writes · 3 years
Text
an artificially intelligent curse
so i read this article about a man who uses AI to speak with his dead fiancee and i simply cannot stop thinking about it. there’s no MCD in this! but you can find my thoughts at the bottom.
tldr; think AI + Inception + Drarry
“Draco’s dying.”
Ron is Harry’s best friend in the whole world but sometimes he can be a bit daft. 
“No, he’s not,” Harry replies serenely. He’s not. Draco is in the kitchen, wearing the light blue sweater Harry gave him last Christmas and a rosy flush Harry gave him two minutes ago. 
“They think you can help him.” Ron is staring at a point above Harry’s shoulder. Harry shifts slightly to follow Ron’s gaze and finds Draco standing there, levitating three steaming mugs of tea onto the table. 
Except. Except, Draco doesn’t drink tea. He drinks cheap, Instant coffee, a consequence of his time spent working in America. Harry teases him about it all the time. 
There’s a slight thud as two mugs hit the table, the third has vanished. 
Draco settles into a chair. “No tea for me,” he says playfully. There’s a small Statue of Liberty trinket on the bookshelf behind Ron. Harry relaxes. 
“Ron was just telling me a story,” Harry shares.
Draco smiles and leans forward expectantly on the table. It’s a set they thrifted last weekend: one Walnut table and four Cherry chairs— one ingredient away from a meal, Draco had joked. 
“It’s a curse, Harry. ‘Mione figured it out. It’s preying on your memories.”
Harry gives Ron a conciliatory nod and reaches out to brush a dark curl away from Draco’s forehead. Draco has platinum hair, he remembers, as an afterthought. 
The strands shift to a blinding white immediately. Or were they always white? They must have been, Draco would never dye his hair. 
“It’s you, Harry. You’re teaching it how to trap you.”
Harry reluctantly turns back toward Ron. 
“What makes us human?” Ron asks. “Harry, I know you can hear me, you just have to listen. What makes us human?”
“I… I don’t know,” Harry mumbles. 
“Instinct, Harry. Emotion and instinct.”
Ron is sitting on a cushioned armchair and Harry wonders absently where he got it. All Harry has are four Cherry chairs. He nearly expects to see Ron’s chair transform into dark wood. It doesn’t.
“You can’t teach humanity,” Ron continues. “You can teach a Thing how to learn, how to adapt. You can force it to consume everything around it until it knows right from wrong. Until it becomes as intelligent as any of us, but you can never teach it instinct. Look around, Harry, use your instinct.”
There’s a portrait on the wall. Four people. Harry and Draco. An older woman with almond-shaped green eyes and freckles over her nose; an older man with dark skin and Harry’s own unruly hair. 
“Hermione’s calling it an AI-Curse. Artificial Intelligence. It sweeps through your mind quickly and puts together a scenario where you feel comfortable. It’ll get things wrong, of course. It doesn’t know which memories are relevant, which are wrong, which are just daydreams. That’s where you come in. You tell It when it’s wrong and you reward It when it’s right.”
Draco’s sitting still at the table. Harry beckons him over. 
“I love that picture of us,” Draco says happily, laying his head on Harry’s shoulder. 
“What is this?”
“Us and your parents, silly.”
“Draco, my parents are dead. They’ve been dead for 27 years.”
Draco blinks. “I know. Do you miss them?”
Harry snaps back to the portrait. His parents have disintegrated out of the frame. 
Ron’s still sitting at the table in his armchair. “Malfoy’s condition is deteriorating. He’s succumbing to the curse. Once he’s given up all of his memories, he’ll die trapped in a fake world of his own design.”
“Stop,” Harry says; and then, “STOP,” louder, facing Ron. Ron doesn’t hear him. Because… because Ron’s not here. Ron and his stubborn, incongruous armchair aren’t here. Harry can hear the humming of Mungo’s Stasis charms echoing somewhere in his mind, the quiet bustle of the hallway, the frantic whispering.  
The only person here is Draco. Draco, who barely ever comes over to Harry’s flat. Draco, who flirts with him over lunches but flinches away when Harry reaches out to sweep his blonde hair off his forehead.
There’s a rosy flush on Draco’s cheeks except Harry’s not the one that gave it to him. Harry’s never kissed Draco; they’re partners and friends and maybe something that transcends description, but not this. Not yet.
“Draco, why are you here?”
“What do you mean?” Draco’s smiling at him, eyes soft. It’s a daydream. Harry swallows down the grief of the realization. 
“We’re not dating, we’re not anything, why are you in my flat?”
Draco freezes. 
“No, no, no, please, no,” Harry’s grasping at him desperately but there’s nothing there. Just pixels floating away from each other, dissolving into the air. 
“NO!” Harry’s kneeling, face hidden in his hands. “No, I can’t do this alone, I can’t, come back… please come back.” He knows it’s impossible; you can’t teach humanity, Ron had said. AI doesn’t understand emotions, won’t bring him back now that it knows he doesn’t belong. 
“They want to Obliviate you,” Ron continues, speaking at Harry’s bedside at Mungo’s, imitated in Harry’s subconscious. 
“What?” Harry turns and scrambles toward Ron.    
“Hermione had a near conniption,” he chuckles. “But it’s the logical solution. The curse absorbs everything you show it and gives it back to you, better and smarter. If there’s no data for it to learn from, then you’re free.”
Harry collapses into the chair beside Ron, mind whirling. The room twists around them. They’re in the Gryffindor Common Room now, Ginny and Hermione near the fireplace, no more Walnut table and Cherry chairs. Except, Molly Weasley’s washing dishes in the corner. No. 
Obediently, Molly Weasley pops away. And then, the room is shifting again. 
“Without memories, the curse will implode into the simplest version of itself: a basic mind trap. Straightforward, simple. The kind that Aurors learn in training.” 
“JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO, RON,” Harry bellows. 
The Burrow. Except, there are two Georges. No. The room glitches and restarts. 
“They won’t try Obliviation with Malfoy. Healers think it’s too late, that he’s too weak even to break out of the simplest version.”
The office and Draco… he’s back. He’s back and alive and leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on his desk, inspecting a takeout box. Yes. 
The room fills in further, encouraged. Case files pile up on Harry’s desk; Draco’s Statue of Liberty trinket is back, in the right place this time; an evidence board on the wall, newspaper clippings, Draco’s neat, white notes, Harry’s scrawl. 
“It’s unethical to deprive him of his memories now.” Ron says. 
Harry inspects the board closely. 7 people dead over 2 months. Inconsistencies in their deaths, but clearly perpetrated by the same actor. A pale blue envelope mailed to each victim. It explodes within minutes of delivery, enveloping its target into a coma.  
Seemingly random victims. A middle-aged mother, an elderly school teacher, a teenager days away from his 15th birthday. Muggles, Purebloods, Half-Bloods, and a Squib. Varying races, different financials. 
“Weird, isn’t it?” Draco’s staring at him. “Almost as if they chose the most diverse targets on purpose.”
Harry turns to him slowly, “Why?”
Draco tosses him an egg roll and shrugs, “Make sure we can’t trace them?” Draco joins him at the board, looks over the victim list.
The first had taken one month to die, slowly incapacitated. The second had taken only half that time, he had perished within two weeks. Faster and faster after that. The latest victim, a five-year old girl, was gone in three days. 
It was the first time, in five years of working together, that Harry saw Draco break down. Crouched outside her Mungo’s room, shivering, quiet; Harry had pulled him up and deposited him home. He came back to work two days later, his clenched jaw and fierce determination lodging itself into Harry’s heart.
Draco’s written a note under her picture: The curse is learning. 
“What is this?”
“You didn’t see the Mungo’s report? They think it’s targeting memories. With each iteration, it’s getting faster and killing quicker. Hermione was telling me about this thing…”
“Artificial Intelligence.”
“Exactly,” Draco smiles, surprised, “it absorbs huge amounts of data until it learns how to adapt to every condition.”
“The diverse victims— someone is teaching it how to learn, adapt to every condition,” Harry repeats. Draco’s standing near his desk again, illuminated by the soft light of his lamp. Soft blonde locks fall into his eyes as he looks over a case file. Harry wonders if this version will flinch away if he reaches out. Wonders if the curse has learned this detail yet. He hopes it hasn’t.
“They’re going to let him die in his own fake world. A peaceful death, they called it.” Ron is still sitting in the corner of the office, in a cushioned armchair.
Harry shakes his head, silently, frantically. There’s a pale blue envelope on Draco’s desk. 
“Draco, what is that?”
Draco looks at the envelope and back at Harry, nonchalant. Then, his face morphs into fear, mirroring Harry’s own expression. It’s the curse, it’s learning. Harry’s teaching it.
“The curse was targeting Malfoy. You were hit since you were in such close proximity, but it's a much weaker variant. You can make it out, Harry. You can help Malfoy navigate out.” Ron says from his corner.
“Harry,” Draco whispers. “What do I do?”
Harry strides forward, takes Draco’s shoulders in his hands. This is real now; Harry remembers this morning. “I’ll come for you, okay? We know what it is now, we’ll figure out how to stop it. Draco, you’ll be fine.”
Draco’s falling now. His eyes are shut, he’s laying on the floor, head tilted toward Harry.
Draco’s dying.
“RON, WHAT DO I DO? TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”
Ron’s not in his corner anymore. He’s gone, and so is his armchair, and it’s just Harry alone, in his office, with Draco’s body. 
The room is still filling up around him. Draco’s coffee mug, steaming on his desk. Blank walls slowly plastered over with Auror-standard tan wallpaper. Except. Except, Severus Snape is standing over Draco.
Harry steps closer cautiously, willful not to let the curse know that Snape doesn’t belong. 
“The headmaster has asked me to teach you Occlumency. I can only hope that you prove more adept at it than Potions,” Snape says, looking up at Harry with dark, hooded eyes. 
A memory, then. Out of place, but relevant. Harry remembers Ron’s words: The curse doesn’t know which memories are relevant. It’s guessing, responding to Harry’s needs. It’s helping. 
“Right. You’re right.” Harry says, loud. Snape solidifies, robes saturating darker. 
“Rid your mind of all emotion,” Snape continues. “Empty it, make it blank and calm.”
“Empty it,” Harry whispers. He takes a last look at Draco and closes his eyes. 
He opens them to a plain white room. Nothing on the walls, the floor. Nothing, except a door. A simple mind trap. Harry opens the door.
i just love the idea that the curse helps him get out. since AI is always developed in service to others, i like the idea that even weaponized as a curse, it would still adapt to the needs of its target and help them in any way possible. idk pals!!!! i just have a lot of thoughts about AI, come scream with me about it!!!!!!!
also, if you haven’t already, i would highly recommend reading the article this is based off-- it is fascinating.
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snakeliciousbaby · 3 years
Text
Jump on the Sword Knight: Xander Harris and Suicidal Habits
Two of Xander's most beloved traits are that of his bravery and his loyalty. But I haven't heard anyone talk about another big trait of Xander's. Xander is generally suicidal with no self worth, and his 'white knight' habits are actually just self destructive ones, just badly defined.
I often see his moments in the Zeppo and Grave talked about as "xander at his best" and "very brave actions" but like. They're not particularly healthy moments, and they're not exceptions either. Over the entire course of the show, Xander shows a continued lack of concern for his own safety and life, sometimes shown by him jumping in front of a ray with no idea what it does, or more rarely, with him spelling it out for the audience.
One of the first big times we see him act this way is in Prophecy girl, where he refuses to listen to every adult who tells him going after Buffy is a death wish, and instead forces his way after her anyway.
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Angel spells out that it's a suicide mission to him, and Xander ignores him entirely. He's perfectly fine with losing his life, as long as it can be vaguely justifed as benificial for someone he cares about.
Or of course, there's the scene everyone looks at fondly. Xander's little speech in the Zeppo, finished by this statement.
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Which. Is just straight up an acceptance of death. As he says earlier to Jack, he knows he can't make it out anymore. Its simply a test with who's more okay with dying. And surprise surprise, it's Xander!
What's especially telling about both these scenes is that,,,xander never tells anyone about them. Xander's immediate instinct to help people is to die for them, but he doesn't go around saying so. And when he does have these moments,,he never talks about them. His conversation in Prophecy girl, and all he events of Zeppo remain a secret.
But are there any times where Xander is explicitly suicidal in a non life or death scenario? In fact, Yes! There's The Replacement.
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Xander's bad qualities include clumsiness, low self esteem...and also his complete lack of self worth and consequential suicidal habits. He doesn't know who he's giving this life away to! He thinks it's a demon!!
And yet to him, he thinks that demon deserves it more than him, and that in this case, dying will help his friends. Even if, in this case, that 'help' is replacing him with a better version of himself.
And that's not the end of the suicidal habits in The Replacement! The conflict in the episode comes from him jumping in front of a mystery beam meant for buffy. Jumping in front of a beam to protect your friend with super slayer strength and healing, with your weak human body. Not the smartest decision!
And then, the idea that both his sides hate each other at first sight, and both try and kill each other immedietly?
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Not the happiest implications!
Then of course, there's the other famous Xander scene. His speech to dark willow. And yet, while he brags about this speech in Same Time Same place, talking about the yellow crayon...he leaves out the other parts.
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This continues his trend of not ever mentioning these actions to his friends. As if even he's subconsiously aware that they probably wouldn't aprove, and might be concerned for him.
Xander's plan here in Grave can be boiled down to: Well guess I'll die!
Which, as shown in the other examples, is the plan he defaults to. He doesn't care if willow kills him, he'll still love her. He's worth nothing, so if he can help her in anyway through his death, he's ready and willing to do it.
He doesn't think this is gonna work!! He's not playing 4d chess here, that's giles! This is just the admittance that, again, he's fine with her killing him, he's fine with dying.
This isn't the end of it though. Selfless is, justly named, another example of this kind of behavior. Xander runs in to "help" anya, except this helping can be summarised by trying to get between a slayer with a sword, and an immortal demon. And when D'Hoffyrn is threatening to kill anya..
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Xander argues that anya is dumb for giving up her life....then immediately volutunteers himself implicitly. Her life is worth something, so it'd be foolish to give it up, while his on the otherhand, is perfect for taking.
This is another episode where in the show, someone compares Xander's actions to those of a knight's, with D'Hoffyrn calling him "gallant". Just as with Angelus, who is the one who first calls him a "white knight" for protecting Buffy's hospital room with his life, both statements come from 'people' who don't know or understand Xander.
These statements cloud the audience's view as well, because it is an attempt to reclassify these actions as "heroic", or even "selfish". Angelus is implying he's doing it to win Buffy, while D'Hoffyrn is implying he has nothing but pure healthy motivations. Both are incorrect.
Xander's motivations are arguably selfless, wanting to help his friends, but are fueled by a lack of self worth, which comes from years of abuse and being talked down to by every adult he encountered. Therefore they manifest in self destructive habits which can barely be defined as Heroic, when really they're a cry for help.
These habits are apparent all throughout the show, in smaller moments as well as the bigger ones.
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Xander skates the line between chasing death and simply accepting it passively, depending on what he thinks needs to be done to "help" his friends.
His actions in these episodes, Prophecy Girl, Zeppo, Replacement, Grave, and so on, are not Xander at his best, but Xander at his most clearly unhealthy, and should serve as the red flags needed to go "uh oh, this boy really needs therapy!"
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gamerwoo · 3 years
Text
Seventeen: Welcome to Caratland (End)
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Characters: Seventeen x reader (gender neutral)
Genre/warnings: horror/halloween au, choose your own adventure au, horror au, angst, murder, major character death, 
Summary: The night before Halloween, you and your 13 friends decide to go explore the infamous abandoned amusement park: Caratland, where it’s rumored that rides start on their own, empty mascot suits are seen walking around, and people don’t return the same as when they left. Can you and your friends survive the night in Caratland?
a/n: realizing halloween is coming up, i’ve decided to FINALLY finish the au i did last halloween. for those who kept up with it: i’m sorry for discontinuing it. there was hardly any interaction with it so i just lost interest and motivation. and the lack of interaction is why i decided to just put all the choices in this part so you can see all the endings and whatnot. i’m sorry it took so long to wrap things up and there will probably be mistakes so i’m sorry about that, but i hope you all still enjoy it. ALSO LMK WHICH PATH/ENDING YOU GET FIRST TIME AROUND!!!
Tag list: @sadienita @xummie @mingoats @xxbluestrifexx @kwanseo @junhaoshua @allegxdly​ 
Previous | Caratland Masterlist
[NOTE: there will probably be mix-ups with paths and endings because i literally just did all of this in 3 days and posted without anyone proof reading it. i will go through everything later to fix and edit things, so please be patient with me!!!]
»»————-  ————-««
16 -- A
“It’s probably best to go back to the breach, right?” you decided. “We know it’s there so it’s the best way to get back.”
“_____ has a point,” Wonwoo shrugged.
“Alright, everyone head back to the hole -- and don’t get split up,” Seungcheol stated before deciding to take the lead.
“Okay, but if I see one of those glorified Chuck E. Cheese mascots coming toward us, I’m leaving all of you behind,” Seungkwan muttered as he followed with the group.
All of you were glancing around trying to keep an eye out for the animatronics, while also trying to quickly and quietly make your way back to the way you’d gotten into the park. You kept mentally kicking yourself for convincing your friends to come here. If it wasn’t for you, you wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. You were just lucky everyone was still here...
The gates were starting to come into view, and you felt relief begin to course through you. Your legs were starting to move faster on their own, just wanting to get out of this living nightmare.
Seungcheol shooting his arms out to stop the group was what had you skid to a stop. He whispered loudly for everyone to get down behind the nearby shrubs and two trash bins. The fourteen of you poked your heads around to see what had gotten him to act like this, and your heart sank at what you saw
Serenity was blocking the hole in the fence.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan hissed.
“We’re gonna die here...” Seokmin whispered, but Wonwoo was quick to comfort him.
“What’s the plan now?” Hansol wondered.
“I know it’ll risk us going to jail or something,” Jihoon began, “but I think it’s time we just cave and call someone.”
“No, I’m not going back there!” Seungkwan whispered intensely.
Your eyebrows furrowed as your turned to look at him, “Excuse me?”
“I’d rather get arrested than get murdered,” Mingyu insisted. “At least we know we’ll be safe and alive in jail.”
You made a face, “Will we, though?”
“Listen,” Hansol interrupted as he pulled out his phone, “I’ll just call my parents -- they’re really chill. And worse case scenario, they just lecture us.”
But as he went to make the call, all his phone did was beep at him like the line was busy. He took the phone away from his ear and looked down, furrowing his eyebrows.
“We had service all night, right?” he asked.
“Yeah...?” Joshua replied.
“Well now I don’t for some reason,” he said, turning his phone screen to show his friends.
Mingyu’s eyes widened, “You’re kidding.”
Then everyone, including you, were taking out their phones and checking for service. Just like Hansol, you had no bars.
Unfortunately, everyone else was in the same boat.
Now, Seokmin was on the verge of tears, “We’re going to die here!”
“Don’t get hysterical yet,” Minghao told him. “There’s gotta be a way out of this. Even if we have to wait around until morning, we can probably out-run these hunks of metal.”
“Y’know, I heard a friend of a friend snuck in here once,” Soonyoung began. “Some dude Changkyun knows. He said there’s apparently some sort of underground exit under the food court.”
“At this point, we’ll have to try anything,” Wonwoo sighed.
“So back to the food court?” Seungcheol practically whined.
You took a deep breath, “Unfortunately, yeah.”
[GO TO: 17 -- A]
»»————-  ————-««
16 -- B
“Does anyone even remember where the hole in the fence is?” you asked.
Everyone either gave you blank stares or shook their heads. You let out a sigh.
“Alternate way it is,” Minghao shrugged.
“Let’s just hang here until someone thinks of something,” Seungcheol suggested. “We’re all here, and I think those things are still hanging around wherever we were before. It’ll take a while before we see them again.”
So the fourteen of you hung out at the merry-go-round. Most of you leaned up against the horses or found yourselves sitting down on them. A few of you sat on the two steps of the platform. Chan and Wonwoo were sitting in one of the carriages that most families or parents sat in. All of you were scrolling on your phones or looking at someone else’s phone, trying to research anything about Caratland that might help you find a way out. Maybe a map or a blueprint or something might come up. 
Suddenly, the ride jerked. You almost fell over onto Junhui as the ride began turning slowly, the music trying to play but the wiring was too old and worn that it just sounded demonic at best.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Jihoon scoffed. “Who turned on the ride?”
The question was overlooked by Mingyu’s shriek. Every head who was on his side of the merry-go-round whipped over to see Bongbong sitting on a horse only a few rows away from the tall boy. But another scream from Seungkwan was what brought attention to the answer to Jihoon’s question.
Eight was standing at the controls of the ride, his never-changing smile on his face as he slowly waved.
“Run!” Joshua called, leaping off of the horse he was sitting sideways on.
“Run where?” Seokmin called as he scrambled to get off the ride and jump the short fence.
“Food court!” Soonyoung shouted as he pumped his legs as fast as they would go. “It’s a long shot...but I have an idea!”
“I’d rather know the idea first!” Jeonghan called after him as the group ran together away from the merry-go-round.
“One of Changkyun’s friends apparently broke in before!” he tried to explain between breaths. “He said there’s an underground exit there! Who knows if it’s legit, but...”
But it was the only plan they had.
[GO TO: 17 -- A]
»»————-  ————-««
17 -- A
All of you had to squeeze through the tiny basement windows to get back in after finding the doors to be locked once again.
“How’d those fuckers get out in the first place?” Jeonghan huffed as he landed on the concrete floor of the basement. “The doors have been locked this entire time.”
“We’re being chased by animatronics that haven’t been functioning for years, and they’re out to kill us for some reason, and that’s what you’re going to question?” Soonyoung pointed out.
“Can we focus, please?” Seungcheol whined. “The sooner we find this secret eit, the sooner we’re free.”
“Everyone start searching,” Hansol said, waiving for everyone to scour the basement.
All of you searched every inch you could. The floor, the walls, shelves, behind old cupboards and props -- but there was nothing.
“What if it’s not here?” Chan suggested.
“Yeah? And where else would an underground exit be other than in the basement?” Jeonghan shot back.
The youngest frowned and rolled his eyes, “Soonyoung just said it was underground, he didn’t say under what part of the food court.”
“I mean...Jeonghan has a point,” Seokmin admitted hesitantly. “The basement is underground.”
[TO GO UPSTAIRS TO THE FOOD COURT GO TO: 18 -- A]
[TO CONTINUE SEARCHING THE BASEMENT GO TO: 18 -- B]
»»————-  ————-««
18 -- A
“It can’t hurt to check somewhere else,” you spoke up, moving to stand beside Chan. “We’re looked everywhere down here. What if it’s not in the basement? There could be some secret tunnel under a different location and we’re just going to be here wasting our time.”
“I mean...yeah, that makes sense,” Jihoon decided with a shrug. “Alright, we’ll try back upstairs.”
“I don’t wanna go back up there...” Seokmin whined, clinging to the nearest person -- it happened to be Junhui.
“We’re all going,” you reassured him with a soft smile. “Let’s go. Nothing’s going to happen.”
You led the way up the stairs this time, but you found yourself going slow. You strained your ears for any noise on the other side of the basement door but the food court seemed to be quiet. Maybe the animatronics couldn’t get back in since the doors were locked.
You pushed the door open cautiously, poking your head out to glance around. It seemed empty, so you opened the door wider and let everyone else out.
“Is that e--”
SLAM!
All of you jumped back and turned around hearing the basement door slam shut behind the last person out. 
“Fuck this, I want out,” Mingyu stated, shaking his head as he began to quickly walk away from the door.
“Hold up,” Wonwoo reached out and grabbed Mingyu’s wrist to keep him with the group. “We should stick together.”
“It probably just closed from the weight of the door anyway,” Minghao figured before going to pull on the door handle.
It didn’t budge.
“Move out of the way, toothpick,” Seungcheol smoothly pushed Minghao out of the way before trying the door himself.
Still nothing.
“D-did it...lock?” Chan asked slowly.
“Haha, would you look at that?” Seungkwan said, checking his wrist that very clearly didn’t have a watch on it. “I actually have to get the fuck out of here. Bye!”
“Maaaaybe,” Hansol grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him back, “don’t do that.”
“Yeah, nobody goes running off, got it?” Jihoon checked, shining his light at everyone to make sure they agreed to the new rule. “Shit’s too weird to be splitting up.”
“I think our best bet would be to hide in the security room until morning,” you spoke up. “It’s probably the safest place in here.”
“_____’s right,” Wonwoo nodded. “Let’s go -- and stick together.”
As a group, all of you made your way to the security room, with you, Jihoon, and Soonyoung leading the way. All of you had your lights, shining them around to make sure the entire area was safe until you made it to the security room and barricaded the door closed.
“Jesus Christ, I hated that,” Mingyu panted as if he had been holding his breath the entire time you were walking.
“I think I almost shit myself,” Soonyoung admitted.
“Imagine your last words being ‘I think I almost shit myself’,” Junhui snorted.
“Hang on, shut the fuck up,” Seungcheol snapped, holding a hand up as he quickly scanned the group in the room. He was trying to count heads while all of you were talking, and as he quickly recounted, his blood turned to ice. “Why are we one short?”
“One short?” Jeonghan asked.
“Someone’s missing,” he said urgently.
“Alright, let’s run attendance real quick,” Jihoon decided, trying to stay level-headed. He pulled out his phone and went to the group chat. “Obviously I’m here. Soonyoung?”
“Here.”
“Seungcheol?”
“Here.”
“Mingyu?”
“Unfortunately here.”
“Hansol?”
“Yup.”
“_____?”
“Here.”
“Joshua?”
Silence.
Jihoon looked up from his phone, repeating, “Josh?”
You and your friends looked around, trying to find Joshua’s face in the crowded room. But nobody spoke up, and the silence following Joshua’s name became deafening.
“Oh fuck...” you breathed, trying to not completely lose your shit. “Did we really lose Josh?”
“We have to go back for him,” Jeonghan insisted.
“What? No!” Seungkwan shouted. “That’s suicide!”
Then everyone was bickering. While everyone of course wanted to hope Joshua was safe, half of the group felt that going back out to look for him would mean all of them would get killed. The other half, on the other hand, were willing to risk their lives to go on a rescue mission.
[TO GO OUT LOOKING FOR JOSHUA GO TO: 19 -- A]
[TO STAY IN THE SECURITY ROOM GO TO: 19 -- B]
»»————-  ————-««
18 -- B
“I mean...how would it be under anywhere else?” you asked slowly with a shrug. “No offense, Chan. But like, this is kind of the only basement in the place.”
“See?” Jeonghan sneered.
Chan just frowned and rolled his eyes.
“There’s gotta be something we missed,” Soonyoung said, trying to stay calm. “Let’s just sweep the place over again.”
But after more looking, you still came up with nothing.
“At this point, I’m about to just dig through the boxes of old animatronic parts and just hope there’s a portal at the bottom or something,” Joshua sighed, slumped against a wall with Jeonghan beside him.
“Good luck,” Jeonghan scoffed. “I already tried picking one up to move them away from the wall but they’re super fucking heavy. It’s literally impossible.”
You turned your head to look at the large stack of boxes. There were piles of various sizes, but the ones at the back pressed up against the wall went up the highest. It was a long shot, but behind the boxes was the only place nobody checked because it couldn’t be reached. But with everyone giving up hope, it didn’t hurt to try, right?
“Hey, Gyu,” you spoke up before pointing to the boxes. “Think you can move those?”
Mingyu shrugged, “Yeah, probably.”
He walked over to the wall and began lifting boxes one-by-one. He grunted as he picked them up and moved them away until he called everyone over.
“There’s metal behind here!” he called over his shoulder.
“Ooh, is it the door?” Soonyoung asked excitedly, pushing himself off the floor.
“Told you it was better to look down here,” Jeonghan said once more.
Jihoon groaned, “Can you let it go? Leave Chan alone already.”
Seungcheol started assisting in the box-moving until the metal door was accessible. Seungcheol tried to push it open, but it didn’t budge. He tried harder, but still nothing.
“Can I try?” Mingyu asked.
Seungcheol stepped out of the way, gesturing for the tallest to give it a shot.
Mingyu threw his shoulder into the door a few times before it finally swung open, leading to a narrow corridor that looked like it would bring you straight to Hell.
“Okay,” Soonyoung breathed out, “let’s see if this is the way to freedom.”
[GO TO 20 -- A]
»»————-  ————-««
19 -- A
“Why is this an argument?!” you shouted over the bickering. “Our friend could be dead! I don’t care if nobody comes with me, but I’m going to find Josh.”
“I’ll go,” Jeonghan stated.
“Me too,” Hansol volunteered with a slight raise of his hand.
“Plus, I highly doubt an animatronic got him,” Minghao scoffed as he went to join your group as you went to open the door.
“Well...good luck with that,” Seungkwan nodded.
In the end, it was you leading the way, with Jeonghan, Hansol, Minghao, Seokmin, and Seungcheol tagging along -- the latter two clinging to each other as you opened the door and went down the short hallway to the door that read EMPLOYEES ONLY on the other side.
“Why would he split off from the group?” Jeonghan wondered. “If he were trying to prank you guys, he would’ve had me in on it.”
“Maybe he just--”
Your sentence was cut off by a scream -- your own scream. Your eyes saw the scene before you: Joshua’s body laying just in front of the EMPLOYEES ONLY door, a bloodied mess. All you could do was scream.
Standing over him, covered in what you could only assume was your friend’s blood, was Bongbong.
“_____, run!” Minghao shouted, grabbing your arm and yanking you away from the door.
He quickly reached for the door and slammed it closed as you and the others ran back down the short hall. Jihoon had poked his head out the door to see what the noise was, and you crashed right into him, hyperventilating as tears welled in your eyes.
God, that image was going to be burned into your brain forever.
“What happened?” he asked.
“J-J-Josh!” you sobbed.
“Those things are in here,” Minghao panted, closing the door to the security room and pressing his back. “Th-they got Josh.”
“You’re fucking with us,” Seungkwan said quietly and very unsurely.
“Would Minghao fuck with you?!” Jeonghan cried. “If you don’t believe us, why don’t you go out there and check for yourself, Kwan? Go get yourself traumatized!”
“Okay, don’t scream at him, it won’t help anything,” Wonwoo spoke up, trying to somehow keep the group put together.
“Let’s just focus on finding a way out,” Seungcheol decided in a shaky voice. 
“U-um...guys?” Mingyu spoke up, staring into the monitors.
Everyone gathered over to see what he was looking at.
Each room had a camera and a monitor to go with it. In each room, stood an animatronic. Each camera had an animatronic staring into it, as if they all were staring at the group.
They knew where you were.
“We have to get out of here,” Seomin panted, beginning to hyperventilate. “They’re going to come in here and kill us!”
“I get it’s scary, but we have to stay calm and--”
“Hey!”
Everyone turned their heads a the sudden exclamation. Chan was standing beside a square metal door in the floor with some dusty boxes and wires he’d moved to find it. He smirked, gesturing to the door.
“While you guys were shitting your pants, I found the underground exit,” he stated.
“Well fuck, kid,” Jihoon whistled under his breath.
“Let’s get the hell outta here,” Soonyoung said as he threw the trapdoor opened and descended the ladder that led to a narrow corridor.
Chan gave Jeonghan a pointed look, “And you thought I was stupid.”
Jeonghan just rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”
[GO TO 20 -- A]
»»————-  ————-««
19 -- B
You felt like a shitty person for not wanting to risk your life for Joshua. You felt extremely guilty that you didn’t want to go out and look for your friend, but truthfully, you were afraid to die -- and that’s why half your friends didn’t want to go looking for him. Not everyone was brave enough to be a hero, and while you always told yourself you would be when putting yourself into the shoes of horror movie characters, it just wasn’t the truth.
But in the midst of the argument of whether or not to go out to search for Josh -- the argument that you stayed silent for -- Mingyu spoke up in a shaky voice, “U-uh...g-guys?”
Everyone turned toward him to see he was staring into the monitors. You all gathered over to see what he was looking at.
Each room had a camera and a monitor to go with it. However, the monitors had gone fuzzy so you couldn’t see anything in any of the rooms.
Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why are the cameras suddenly down?”
You wished they stayed that way after seeing what was displayed next. In each room, stood an animatronic. Each camera had an animatronic staring into it, as if they all were staring at the group.
They knew where you were.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the most disturbing thing.
You could see on one of the monitors, Bongbong was standing in front of the camera holding a familiar body. Joshua was being held up by his neck, and blood was coming out of his mouth, nose, eyes, and even his ears. 
You weren’t the only one to let out a scream and flinch away from the camera, hiding your face as you started panicking and crying.
“We have to get out of here,” Seomin panted, beginning to hyperventilate. “They’re going to come in here and kill us!”
“We have to find the fucking exit!” Seungcheol said in a panic. “Everyone go--”
“Hey!”
Everyone turned their heads a the sudden exclamation. Chan was standing beside a square metal door in the floor with some dusty boxes and wires he’d moved to find it. He was just staring at you like he hadn’t just witnessed what all of you did -- and maybe he didn’t because he was too busy searching.
“Way ahead of you,” he stated.
“Thank god,” Jihoon said under his breath.
“Let’s get the hell outta here,” Soonyoung said as he threw the trapdoor opened and descended the ladder that led to a narrow corridor.
Chan gave Jeonghan a pointed look, “And you thought I was stupid.”
Jeonghan just glared at him, “I’m not in the fucking mood.”
And then he went down the ladder.
[GO TO 20 -- A]
»»————-  ————-««
20 -- A
Other than only being wide enough for one person to walk through at a time, it was also very dimly-lit. It definitely looked like something straight out of a horror movie that would 100% lead to the characters’ imminent death.
Needless to say your heart was pounding in your ears.
There was another metal door, but this one was far easier to open. The squeak of it echoed down the corridor as the thirteen of you filed into the room. It seemed to be where they kept the spare mascot suits that actual employees would wear. There were a few of the bodies of the suits hanging up, with heads scattered in corners and on shelves, along with gloves and feet strewn about.
“I hate this,” Jun stated, looking around the room. 
“I know these things are empty, but looking into their empty eyes is somehow worse,” Jihoon mumbled, staring at an Eight head.
At the opposite end of the tiny room in the right corner was another metal door. You were starting to wonder how many more metal doors you’d have to encounter in this place.
To the left of the room, there was a tiny wooden door that seemed like it would lead to a crawlspace. You assumed there was just more storage back there, but nobody cared enough to look back there, anyway. The focus was to get out of this place and get to safety.
“C’mon,” you nodded your head toward the other metal door that you assumed would lead to the exit, “let’s keep going.”
As Seungcheol went for the door, you and your friends heard banging. You all paused, Seungcheol’s hand on the handle. You listened for the banging again, and then looked to where it seemed to be coming from.
“Guys?” Joshua’s voice called from behind the small wooden door. “Guys?! Oh my god, guys! C-can you hear me? Hello?! Help me!”
“Josh?” Jeonghan took a step toward the door.
[TO HELP JOSHUA GO TO 21 -- A]
[TO CONTINUE TO THE EXIT GO TO 21 -- B]
»»————-  ————-««
21 -- A
“Joshua!” you cried as you ran to the small door.
You knew what your eyes saw, but was it possible none of it was real? How else would you be hearing Joshua’s voice? He must’ve been alive somehow. Anything seemed possible at this point.
You got down on your knees, opened the small door, and crawled your way through. You stood up as your friends tried to get in behind you, but what you saw made your heart fall into your stomach as your hands went to cover your mouth, muffling the loud sob that came out.
Joshua’s body was slumped against the left wall, looking just as you had remembered.
He was still dead.
Your friends had similar reactions to you. Seokmin even threw up. 
Seungcheol shook his head slowly, eyes full of tears while some streaked his cheeks, “We... W-we have to bring his body...”
“He’s right,” Jihoon said solemnly -- his body seemed to be shutting down now, almost uncapable of processing his emotions. “We need evidence of what happened tonight. Nobody will believe us otherwise.”
“I-I hate to say it, b-but...it’ll s-slow us down, though,” Wonwoo interjected through his sniffles. “What if we don’t make it out?”
[TO TAKE JOSHUA’S BODY WITH YOU GO TO 22 -- A]
[TO LEAVE WITHOUT JOSHUA’S BODY GO TO 22 -- B]
»»————-  ————-««
21 -- B
You quickly reached out and grabbed Jeonghan to keep him from going any closer to that door. He turned to look at you, a pained expression on his face.
“Jeonghan, that’s not Joshua,” you told him. “You saw what happened to him. Whatever it is, it’s not him.”
“I think _____’s right,” Wonwoo nodded. “We need to keep going.”
You kept your hold on Jeonghan as all of your began filing out of the mascot room into another narrow corridor like the other one. This one, though, had a sharp right turn before leading down a while to another steel door.
But this door didn’t budge.
Soonyoung was at the head of the group, and he groaned in frustration as he tugged at the handle over and over again, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me; what’s with these doors?!”
You started to hear a thumping. It slowly got louder and louder...
...Or maybe it was closer and closer.
Junhui walked down the way you’d come and poked his head around the corner, his eyes widening at what he saw. He whipped his head back around and booked it straight back to where your group was trying to open the door, calling, “You might wanna hurry up on that door!”
Coming down the hall were all four animatronics, their eyes lit up as they stomped closer and closer.
“It’s not doing anything!” Soonyoung huffed, trying with all his might to open the door. “Mingyu, get up here!”
Mingyu squeezed between bodies to get to the door, trying to open it as the group just shouted for him to be faster.
“We might have to just...face these things,” Chan said. “Once and for all.”
“Yeah? How?” Wonwoo scoffed. “They’ll crush us in seconds.”
“There’s fou-- thirteen of us, and four of them. We might have a shot.”
“Well hurry up and decide so we can at least put the strongest up against them first,” Junhui called.
[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS WHILE MINGYU KEEPS WORKING AT THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- A]
[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS TOGETHER GO TO 23 -- B]
[TO KEEP TRYING THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- C]
»»————-  ————-««
22 -- A
“We can’t just leave him here,” you stated. “Not only for the evidence, but because he doesn’t deserve to rot away here. His family doesn’t deserve to wonder what happened to him.”
“I’ll grab him,” Seungcheol offered, swallowing his fears and stepping forward to scoop up his friend. “Let’s get him home.”
Chan was the last into the tiny room, so he turned to go. But the wooden door was suddenly closed and wouldn’t open back up.
“What the hell?!” he grunted as he continued to try the door.
“Why’d you let it close, dumbass?!” Jeonghan demanded.
“I didn’t!” Chan shouted back. “It was just open!”
“Ugh, leave it to the fucking baby to--”
“G-guys?” Seokmin asked.
“Can you get off my fucking case?!” Chan huffed as he stood up and went to stand toe-to-toe with Jeonghan. “You’re always such a fucking asshole to me! Why can’t you--”
“Guys?” Seokmin tried again, looking between the left and right walls.
“Are you two really going to argue right now?” Jihoon groaned. “We’re literally--”
“Guys!” Seokmin finally shouted over everyone. “The walls!”
“What about the--”
Jihoon’s question died down as soon as all of you began looking at the walls. They were moving in toward each other, which would crush all of you between them.
Everyone was suddenly in a panic. Everyone was throwing themselves at the door, trying to tug it open before the walls could do anything. Some of you -- such as you and Wonwoo -- decided to spread out so you had more room. But some -- like Jeonghan and Chan, who grouped up by the door with a few others -- created a big human-lump that would be crushed faster. You heard their cries and pleas before they were crushed to death with a sound you couldn’t get out of your ears.
It was only a moment later you met the same fate.
[GO TO ENDING B]
»»————-  ————-««
22 -- B
"Nobody wants to be the asshole that says it’s better to leave him behind, but...” you trailed off.
Wonwoo was right. Joshua would more than likely slow you down. Besides, you knew Josh would want all of you to have the best chance of getting out alive as possible.
“Th-then you go ahead,” Seokmin spoke up, almost like he was afraid to.
“What?” Jihoon asked.
“I...” Seokmin looked at Joshua as more tears welled in his eyes. “It makes me sad to think he’d just be down here alone. I don’t care if he’s...gone. He can’t just stay down here.”
“I’m not leaving my best friend down here,” Jeonghan agreed.
“Seokmin, he’s--”
“Look, just go,” Hansol interrupted whatever Jihoon was going to say. “I’ll help them with the body. You guys just go on ahead.”
Minus the three who wanted to collect Joshua’s body, the group turned and left the small room and went back to the mascot room. Soonyoung tugged on the metal door and led the way down another corridor that looked exactly the same as the one that had led into the mascot room. This one, though, had a sharp right turn before leading down a while to another steel door.
But as you were walking down the hallway, you heard the yells and screams of your three friends. All of you turned on a dime and ran back toward the mascot room but the metal door was already closed and wouldn’t re-open for some reason. All of you were yelling and trying to open the door until you heard a sickening crunch, and then silence.
You all fell silent. You didn’t know what to do now.
“We--” Jihoon’s voice cracked so he cleared his throat. “We should just...keep going...”
Following behind Jihoon, you all turned one by one and went back down the hallway. You turned the corner and walked down that long hallway toward another metal door.
But this door didn’t budge.
Jihoon groaned in frustration as he tugged at the handle over and over again, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me; what’s with these doors?!”
You started to hear a thumping. It slowly got louder and louder...
...Or maybe it was closer and closer.
Junhui walked down the way you’d come and poked his head around the corner, his eyes widening at what he saw. He whipped his head back around and booked it straight back to where your group was trying to open the door, calling, “You might wanna hurry up on that door!”
Coming down the hall were all four animatronics, their eyes lit up as they stomped closer and closer.
“It’s not doing anything!” Soonyoung huffed, trying with all his might to open the door. “Mingyu, get up here!”
Mingyu squeezed between bodies to get to the door, trying to open it as the group just shouted for him to be faster.
“We might have to just...face these things,” Chan said. “Once and for all.”
“Yeah? How?” Wonwoo scoffed. “They’ll crush us in seconds.”
“There’s fou-- nine of us, and four of them. We might have a shot.”
“Well hurry up and decide so we can at least put the strongest up against them first,” Junhui called.
[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS WHILE MINGYU KEEPS WORKING AT THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- A]
[TO FACE THE ANIMATRONICS TOGETHER GO TO 23 -- B]
[TO KEEP TRYING THE DOOR GO TO 23 -- C]
»»————-  ————-««
23 -- A
“Mingyu, keep trying the door!” you called to him. “We’ll try to hold them back.”
“We?!” Seungkwan repeated.
Mingyu continued to try to pull the door open as the animatronics slowly turned the corner and began walking toward the nine of you. You weren’t sure how to prepare yourself for this at all, but you knew you couldn’t just turn your back and die.
But you should’ve known what would happen. Four giant machines up against eight fleshy humans who were nowhere near as strong. Sure, all of you were faster than them, but how could you dodge or run in such a narrow hallway? You were doomed from the start.
Well, not you specifically.
Seungcheol had shoved you to the back toward Mingyu, promising to keep you safe. So your friends all died in front of you, and all you could do was stand there and watch in horror.
That’s when Bongbong closed in on you.
“I got the--!”
Mingyu’s exclamation of finally getting the door open was cut off by Bongbong’s arm swinging out and clotheslining him into the wall and cutting off his oxygen. 
The attack that was meant for you, but you had ducked underneath.
The light flooded into the corridor, and just like that, the animatronics just shut down. The light turned off in their eyes, and they were frozen with their hands reaching out for you.
Except Bongbong’s arm that was now frozen in place, keeping Mingyu strangled against the wall. 
You could hear Mingyu gasping for air as you slowly opened your eyes that you’d squeezed shut when you ducked. You looked up and saw the animatronics were lifeless now, and then you shot up and turned to try to help Mingyu. You pulled and pulled on Bongbong’s arm while you had to watch Mingyu slowly die. It was like watching a movie in slow motion, the way his body went limp and the life drained from his eyes. Still, you stood there and sobbed and told him you’d free him as you continued to pull uselessly at the animatronic.
When it finally set in that you didn’t stand a chance, you ran out the back parking lot where the door opened to. You ran out of the park and to your car -- which was still parked near the other 3 that belonged to your friends that were no longer with you -- and drove off toward home with tears still streaming down your face.
The clock on your car radio said 6:08am.
[GO TO ENDING A]
»»————-  ————-««
23 -- B
“The door’s useless!” you cried. “We’re not going to just turn our backs and die. That’s not how I wanna go out.”
Nobody had any faith, but they knew you were right. Laying down and dying after all of this wasn’t worth it. If you died, at least you would die fighting.
But you should’ve known what would happen. Four giant machines up against nine fleshy humans who were nowhere near as strong. Sure, all of you were faster than them, but how could you dodge or run in such a narrow hallway? You were doomed from the start.
Seungcheol had shoved you to the back toward the door that wouldn’t open, promising to keep you safe. So your friends all died in front of you, and all you could do was stand there and watch in horror.
That’s when Bongbong closed in on you.
[GO TO ENDING B]
»»————-  ————-««
23 -- C
“The door will work!” you swore “Like the basement, remember? Just keep trying!”
Sure, this was different in the way that you had to pull and not push, but it had to give eventually, right?
You continued to face the animatronics that were now starting to close in on all of you. Seungcheol tried to squeeze in besided Mingyu, grabbing the handle and pulling with him. Jihoon crawled between Mingyu’s legs and stood in between the taller boy’s arms, both of his hands wrapped around the handle and tugging with everything he had.
You moved to put yourself in front of your friends. You got all of them into this mess, so you deserved to be the first to die.
As Bongbong closed in on you, you closed your eyes.
“_____--!”
The darkness you saw behind your eyelids suddenly seemed brighter, and you felt a gust of wind from behind you.
There was a couple seconds of silence.
“Holy shit,” Minghao breathed.
You opened one eye just enough to see Bongbong’s face just inches from yours. But...why were the lights in its eyes off?
You opened your eye wider. Then the other one. Its arm was only a hair away from you, but it made no move to actually touch you. There was also light flooding into the corridor from behind you. You whipped your head around to see the door was open, and you looked back at four animatronics. Were they off now?
“Oh my god,” you sighed in a shaky voice, taking a step backward toward the door.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Wonwoo said as he grabbed your hand and all but dragged you out the door.
The door opened to the back of the parking lot. All of you ran as fast as you could toward your cars, only stopping at the hood of the closest one to catch your breath. Seungcheol pulled out his phone.
“It’s 6am,” he reported.
“Maybe that’s why the door didn’t open,” Wonwoo panted, hands on his knees.
“I don’t care to speculate,” Jihoon said as he went to get into one of the four cars. “Take me the fuck home.”
[GO TO ENDING C]
»»————-  ————-««
ENDING A 
You weren’t sure what to do about the texts from the group chat when you got home. You swore everyone was dead. You watched them die in front of you.
Soonyoung said he was tripping balls the whole night.
Jeonghan agreed, saying he was sure there was something in the air making them hallucinate.
Even Jihoon was saying something weird had happened that night, because he thought he saw everyone die.
So...maybe they were right?
But when you inevitably went to school Halloween day, something didn’t seem right. Maybe it was because you hadn’t slept all night and you were drained in every sense, or maybe it was because you were convinced all of your friends had died right before your very eyes, but everything felt...off. At least, your friends did. It was their smiles and their voices and their hugs and laughs and promises that everything was fine, but something about it seemed alien to you. 
Maybe it was from how emotionally and mentally drained you were, and the fact you didn’t get any sleep, but you swore there was an odd glow to their eyes that wasn’t just the glimmer of the florescents.
And why did Junhui wink at you?
[YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ESCAPED FROM CARATLAND...OR DID THEY?]
»»————-  ————-««
ENDING B
Get dressed.
Brush your teeth.
Brush your hair.
Go downstairs and converse with your parents.
Drive to school.
Say hello to your friends.
Laugh at what Soonyoung said.
Promise to walk to class with Seokmin and Seungcheol after you go to the bathroom.
Go into the bathroom.
Use the mirror to fix your outfit.
Use your fingers to brush through your hair one more time.
A light reflects off the mirror.
You are the only one in the bathroom.
[NONE OF YOU ESCAPED FROM CARATLAND BUT SOMETHING ELSE DID]
»»————-  ————-««
ENDING C
(NOTE: i know some people might’ve only had josh die while other had more people die. so this part will mention multiple people who didn’t make it home but i will only mention josh by name. sorry if it seems kind of confusing)
You didn’t even want to go back home after everything that happened. But you needed to shower and change, so you dropped your friends off before going home. After getting out of the shower, you checked your phone. Your heart dropped and your stomach was doing flips at what it saw.
One series of texts was from a group chat that was all of the people you were positive made it home from Caratland. All of them were wondering what the fuck was going on.
The other was the original group chat, with a text from Joshua asking if everyone made it home okay. It made a shiver go down your spine. How could he be texting? He died.
Those that had died started having a conversation about hallucinating, insisting something weird must’ve been in the air to make everyone trip and see things that didn’t actually happen. Nobody knew if it was possible. Minghao suggested that at this point, anything was possible. But still, why did all of you have the same hallucination?
The group decided it was best to ignore the message.
When Wonwoo offered to give you a ride to school, you said yes.
The two of you walked to homeroom together and saw the usual group of your friends sitting at the left side of the classroom. But seeing the friends you thought had died now just sitting there like nothing happened made your skin crawl. You wanted to turn around and walk out.
Wonwoo squeezed your hand and continued forward.
You sat and chatted with the group, and everyone seemed to be dancing around the fact that things were...weird. Maybe it was because you hadn’t slept all night and you were drained in every sense, or maybe it was because you were convinced all of your friends had died right before your very eyes, but everything felt...off. At least, your friends did. It was their smiles and their voices and their hugs and laughs and promises that everything was fine, but something about it seemed alien to you.
Maybe it was from how emotionally and mentally drained you were, and the fact you didn’t get any sleep, but you swore there was an odd glow to their eyes that wasn’t just the glimmer of the fluorescents.
And why did Joshua wink at you?
[YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ESCAPED FROM CARATLAND...OR DID THEY?]
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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years
Note
Do you think LWJ took the advantage of being a Young Master of a prominent clan to publicly display the people he hates? (We know who that is) I saw someone claim about it and It's haunting my head.
Hi anon,
I’ll start first by saying that I think the novel does, to a degree, understand that there are people who have, to use Bourdieu’s terms, forms of ‘capitals’ that others do not and integrate that into the narrative and character dynamics. LWJ has not only capital due to his position as a gongzi and the son of a Leader (then later, as heir-in-line) to one of the prominent clans, but also due to his stellar reputation and fighting abilities (and to a degree, the fact he is a man). All this allows him to have a wider range of actions that are considered ‘acceptable/legitimate’ versus another person with different or lesser forms of capital--think for instance of the reaction and consequences when LWJ challenges what powerful men are saying (making up) about WWX versus when daughter-of-a-servant MianMian does the same. However, I find it weird to frame that as LWJ “getting away” with something--with his character, it’s more like he is able to have an opinion or stand up against injustices with less chances of getting punished and ridiculed for it.
Now, if it is about Jiang Cheng, it is kind of a myopic argument to be saying that LWJ “gets away” with “publicly hating JC”. First because by that point JC is technically even higher in the social hierarchy, being a literal Sect Leader. But it’s also weird to phrase this as “publicly hating JC”: LWJ is not running around badmouthing JC or the Jiang sect--the pettiest we see him is when he doesn’t silence LJY when he engages in gossip about JC. Instead we see LWJ standing up against JC when the situation calls for it, which is not the same. Of course, as JC does, it can be considered as an inherent ‘insult’ since it makes JC ‘lose face’ but I think there is a difference. And it’s not like JC does not get away with being impolite towards LWJ and the Lan sect, something we see at Dafan Mountain.
We know with the MXY altercation that JC was ready to kill him on sight for using modao (”Do you have any last words?”/“Break his legs? Haven’t I told you? If you see this sort of evil and crooked practice, kill the cultivator and feed him to your dogs!”). After LWJ intercepts, we have this exchange showing JC being impolite to a degree that prompts LJY to call him out for it, only bringing more disrespect for the Lans from JC:
He raised one brow and spoke, “Hanguang-Jun, you sure live up to your reputation of ‘being wherever the chaos is’. So, you had time to come to this remote area today?” [..] Right now, Jiang Cheng really didn’t seem too polite as he said the words in such a tone. Even the juniors who came following Lan Wangji did not seem comfortable hearing it.
Lan Jingyi spoke straightforwardly, “Isn’t Jiang-zongzhu here as well?”
Jiang Cheng replied grimly, “Tsk, do you really think that you should butt in when your seniors are conversing? The GusuLan Sect has always been known for its respectful conduct. Is this really how it teaches its disciples?”
It is imo more true to say that, due to LWJ’s higher and respected position in society, JC is not able to use his usual means of responding to someone challenging his decisions and thus making him lose face.This is again something we see during this altercation.
LWJ silences JL after he dismisses his mistreatment of other cultivators with the deity-binding nets. LWJ destroys the entirety of the diety-binding nets JC and JL were using to give JL an advantage over the other cultivators competing, something they were only able to do because of the Jiang and Jin sects considerable power and wealth. Is it daring of LWJ? Sure. Would he be able to do so without consequences if he was someone else? Probably unlikely, especially when we’re talking about JC. But is that ‘getting away’ with something? It’s literally the opposite scenario: LWJ is using his own status and capital to make it so that JL (and JC) are not getting away with what they are doing (although there are, in actuality, no consequences for their behaviours; they are just forced to give up on JL’s unfair advantages. Hell, LWJ even offers to pay for the nets he destroys, which I guess can also be taken as a baller move). What’s more, the novel even takes the time to point out that, if LWJ were not such a strong cultivator, JC might have pushed aside the risks of offending LXC and physically confronted him (let’s appreciate how this also serves as well-integrated exposition for their weapons).
Jin Ling’s grim expression was exactly the same as his uncle’s, “What can I do? It was their own fault for stepping into the traps. I’ll solve everything after I finish capturing the prey.”
Lan Wangji frowned. Jin Ling was about to speak again, but he suddenly realized that, shockingly, he could neither open his mouth nor make any sounds.
[...]
The man spoke in a low voice, “Not long ago, a blue sword flew over and destroyed the deity-binding nets that you had set up.”
Jiang Cheng glanced at Lan Wangji harshly, his displease plastered all over his face, “How many were broken?”
[...]
Although four hundred deity-binding nets were a whopping price, it wasn’t too much for the YunmengJiang Sect. Nonetheless, losing the nets were a small matter, but losing face was not. With Lan Wangji’s actions, Jiang Cheng felt a whirlpool of anger at the bottom of his heart, rising higher by every second. He narrowed his eyes, his left hand casually stroking the ring on his right hand’s index finger.
[...]
However, after stroking it for a while, Jiang Cheng compelled himself to restrain his hostility.
Although he was displeased, as the leader of a sect, he needed to take more things into consideration, which meant that he couldn’t be as impulsive as Jin Ling. After the fall of the QingheNie Sect, among the Three Great Sects, the LanlingJin Sect and the GusuLan Sect were quite close due to the personal relationship between the two leaders. By leading the YunmengJiang Sect alone, he was already in an isolated situation among the three. Hanguang-Jun, or Lan Wangji, was quite a prestigious cultivator, while his elder brother Zewu-Jun, or Lan Xichen, was the leader of the GusuLan Sect. The two brothers had always been on good terms with each other. It was best to not openly dispute with Lan Wangji.
Also, Jiang Cheng’s sword, “Sandu (三毒, Sāndú),” had never made actual contact with Lan Wangji’s sword, “Bichen,” and it was not yet decidable whose hands would the deer die on. Although he owned the powerful ring, “Zidian (紫电 Zǐdiàn),” a family heirloom of his, Lan Wangji’s guqin, “Wangji”, was also known for its abilities. The thing that Jiang Cheng hated the most was to be disadvantageous during a fight. Without complete confidence in his success, he would not consider fighting with Lan Wangji.
Now if it is about Su She, again what does LWJ truly do?
He silences him in the Demon-slaughtering cave? Although we’d be hard-pressed to believe LWJ respects Su She after what he’s seen him do in the Xuanwu Cave, the guy is literally trying to get everyone there killed and being a smartass to WWX while at it. And if it had been extremely disrespectful of him, LQR could have lifted the spell--something once again that the novel points out. When it dissolves into a game of calling out between the MolingSu sect and the GusuLan sect, LWJ does not say anything, even if, as LJY points out, Su She was imitating him. It’s only when WWX starts going that LWJ takes part by acquiescing to the truths WWX lays out (which are, yes, damning for the Su She and the MolingSu sect). But again, there are layers to what WWX is doing: he’s not only trying to expose what is going on, but anger Su She into revealing he still has his spiritual powers as proof of what he has worked out. So while WWX and LWJ are being by some measures disrespectful, there is a point to how they are going at it.
Touching his chin, he grinned, “Well I was worried that you’d get mad if I asked him too many things in front of you, wasn’t I? But since you’ve told me to ask him already, I’ll go ahead and ask. Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji, “Mn.”
Wei Wuxian, “The MolingSu Sect was a sect that branched off from the GusuLan Sect, right?”
Lan Wangji, “Mn.”
Wei Wuxian, “Although it branched off, the MolingSu Sect’s techniques still used the GusuLan Sect’s techniques ‘as reference’, right?”
Lan Wangji, “Yes.”
Wei Wuxian, “One of the GusuLan Sect’s techniques, the Sound of Vanquish, has the effect of exorcising evil. Amongst them, the seven-stringed guqin was the most powerful, and so there is the greatest number of people who cultivate through the guqin. The MolingSu Sect did the same, and the guqin is the most common in their sect as well, is that correct?”
Lan Wangji, “That is correct.”
Wei Wuxian, “Although the MolingSu Sect’s leader left the GusuLan Sect with knowledge of its techniques when he founded his own sect, is own guqin skills weren’t anything special, and the disciples he taught often make many mistakes too, right?”
Lan Wangji answered with honesty, “Yes.”
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji went on back and forth, speaking as though nobody was around. More and more people realized that they weren’t only mocking Su She, but rather taking something apart. Thus, they began to listen more carefully.
Next, Wei Wuxian slowed down, “… And that means, even when a section of the battle melodies that the MolingSu Sect played when killing corpses on Mass Grave Hill was wrong, the GusuLan Sect wouldn’t find it unusual, and only think that they made a mistake because of their inferior techniques and remembered the sheet music wrong, not taking the time to notice whether it was an accidental mistake or a mistake on purpose. Is this the case?”
Hearing the last question, Su She’s pupils shrunk. The hand he placed on the hilt of his sword was suddenly lined with veins. The blade of the sword was already half-an-inch unsheathed. On the other hand, Lan Wangji lifted his eyes at the same time. Both Wei Wuxian and he saw the sense of understanding in each other’s eyes.
He stated one word at a time, “This is the case.”
Su She unsheathed his sword with a clang. Wei Wuxian moved the blade of the sword to the side with two fingers and smiled, “What are you doing? Don’t forget. You’ve lost all your spiritual powers. Would threatening me like this do anything?”
Sword raised in his hand, Su She could neither attack nor put it down. He clenched his teeth, “Aiming at me for so long—just what are you trying to imply?”
As much as we love to talk about LWJ’s hidden sass and pettiness, he does not seem to ever be disrespectful without a reason, and it’s usually in the process of standing up for others. Reading his character as an illustration of a man in a position of privilege and power getting away with things is a little bit of a reach--particularly when JC is literally right there. 
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Text
Certainly- Kaz Brekker
The reader is a bit of an astrology and astronomy alike geek for this, which I hope y’all don’t mind! Also, in this case, phones exist so lets pretend that phones exist in Ketterdam, making it a bit of a modern au, I guess!
Also, this’ll probably be a bit ooc for Kaz
Fic type- angsty fluff
Warnings- blood, mentions of death, and the reader is sick (nothing specific, I just kind of took random symptoms and made up a word for the sickness)
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You were determined to see the stars before you went, and as you grew sicker, none of the crows knew when that would be, so, after a little convincing, the crows had gotten Colm to let you spend a couple of months at his farm in Novyi Zem, where the stars were the clearest at night, not burdened by light pollution or the screams of lively cities. 
It was the seven of you crammed into a basement, sharing beds, but none of them cared, and you were just glad to be with the people you called family. You were happy that they were with you, that Kaz was willing to wheel you everywhere when you got too weak to stand, that Jesper still made jokes, even despite watching you deteriorate. You were grateful for Inejs smile, Wylans music, Ninas impeccable tastes and Matthias and his big arms that could lift you and put you down without issue. 
The six of them had started taking shifts taking you outside. Nina took you outside Sunday nights, Matthias Mondays, Wylan Tuesdays, Jesper Thursdays, Inej Fridays and Kaz Saturdays. Wednesdays you rested up; ate when it was time to eat, used the bathroom when you needed, took a shower if it were the appropriate time, but other than that, you slept.
It was Kaz’s day to wheel you out, and you’d had a particularly rough day that day. Inej went with him, promising not to intrude on the time that you would spend together. She’d do backflips and run across the roof of the farm if you asked her to, but she’d not interrupt otherwise. 
“I love the stars,” you whispered, leaning back in your wheelchair and tightening the hold of the blanket over your lap. “Thank you both. For doing this.” 
“Don’t you worry, love,” Kaz murmured. “Just keep your eyes on the stars, okay?”
“We’re happy to do this,” Inej added. “All of us are. Really.” It was like both of them could sense it as well as you could. You had a feeling that the night would end terribly, just like the morning had begun.
You’d woken up only to need to rush to the toilet immediately, blood coming up your throat like bile, staining your skin and leaving your bottom lip red as a cherry. 
Kaz had been at your side in a minute, Nina and Wylan right behind him. Wylan kept your hair away from the sides of your face, Nina slowed your heartrate and Kaz wet a cloth with cold water to get your body temp down. 
Kaz had forced himself to stay in the moment, to not let his thoughts stray to the urge to sleep in the same bed as you to make sure that nothing happened while you slept--to be there in case something did--but to stay on the sun as it set and the faraway sound of Wylan playing his flute with the window open so that you’d be able to hear it. 
Once you’d gotten settled under a tree, Inej ran off, making her way inside and up to the barns roof, where she sat, keeping a watch from a distance as Kaz let you rest your head against his shoulder, gloved hand interlaced with yours. 
“I love you, Brekker,” you murmured. “Please don’t forget that. Ever.” 
“I won’t,” he whispered. “You’re gonna stay around and get better until we can spar again, and you can beat my ass even though I’ve my cane as a weapon.” 
“You know full well I can’t promise that,” you wished that you could. You desperately wished. “I’m going to die young, Kaz. I’m not gonna get to eighteen, much less eighty.” Kaz hated you for that.
He hated you because everything that you said somehow managed to be right. It was like you had a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and while, on missions, it proved useful, in that scenario, it just proved annoying. 
“You’re gonna make it to eighteen if it kills me,” he informed you. “I’ll take you around the globe if I need to, just to make sure you end up okay. I will not live a life without you in it, Y/N.” 
“You’re sweet,” you murmured. “Incredibly sweet.”
“Only to you, L/N.” That was the last bit of conversation for a long while as the sun set and the stars came out.
“Did you know that the moon isn’t circular?” You pointed lazily to it, bright and beautiful amongst the even brighter stars. “According to scientests, it’s actually shaped like a lemon!” Kaz didn’t fight his smile.
Of course you’d be spouting off the little factoids you knew about space. You loved it, how vast and crazy it all seemed. 
“And that the clouds at the center of the Milky Way smell like raspberries and rum?” Kaz snorted.
“Okay, now, theres no way that ones true!” 
“Oh,” you leaned up, booping his nose without a care in the world. “But it is! It’s in a study somewhere, I think! Look it up!” He laughed, pulling you closer to him as you rambled.
Inej had started doing running flips across the roof, spinning and dancing and no doubt laughing as she did. Kaz knew it was an elaborate effort to get you to smile, and it seemed to work as she moved; a delightful silhouette amongst a star filled sky. 
“I love you, Kaz Brekker,” you whispered. “You don’t need to say it back, but I really, truly do love you with every bone that exists in my body.”
“I love you too,” he said it without hesitation. “And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey, I swear it.”
“Don’t hold me to that promise,” you murmured. “You know how bad this is. Stop thinking that I’ll make it into the new year. I probably wont.”
“You will if it kills me, Y/N,” he gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I’ll drain the bank dry if I have to, I swear to Ghezen.”
You didn’t say anything after, too exhausted to even think about starting an argument with him, simply not wanting to. 
But then, an hour later, Kaz felt fear trickle into his stomach like it hadn’t ever in his life.
“And then theres Supernova. It’s like a star that’s dying having it’s last celebration. Like when we get a really big win, or when we get away with what we intended to get away with, and we all get shitfaced before we collapse onto our beds and sleep for the night? A supernova is a dying stars explosion. It’s the last celebration that the star has before it dies out.” you’d been rambling.
“Tonight is my... tonight is my...” Kaz had called for Nina right then and there, screaming her name while he felt you go slack against him.
“Zenik!” He screamed, not caring at all if he were to wake up Jespers father. “Zenik, call in that fucking favor with the bloody Ravkan prince!” Matthias came barreling out after her, phone in hand, already speaking to someone as Nina began working, steadying your heart and trying her hardest to keep you alive. 
Kaz had to force himself to walk away from it all, pushing his feet away after giving your shoulders one last squeeze and walking far out into the field. 
Once he was sure he was out of earshot, he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flooded his eyes and he found himself glaring at the sky, wanting to scream, wanting to shout, wishing that there was someone around that he could gut like a fish. 
“Saints,” he murmured through gritted teeth. “Sankt Ilya, Sankt Adrik, Sankta Alina of The Fold, I know I am a terrible person, but Y/N is not. They’re good, they smile, they laugh, they’re kind to others when those people probably don’t deserve their kindness. I know I’m damned, I know that you probably strongly dislike me, but they’re different.” He’d never asked the Saints for anything before, and he never would again.
“Please, just, let them live. Let them get the life that they deserve. I’ll do my best to make them happy, but you have to let me,” he wiped the tears from his eyes as they came. “They deserve the life that you’re so willing to take away, and all I ask is that you don’t take it.” He heard the sounds of the ambulance car and raced back to you, gripping your hand as they helped you onto a stretcher and out of the field, through the house and out the entrance. 
I won’t lose them, he told himself. A world without them is one that’s unbearable. 
O N E Y E A R L A T E R 
You laughed as Nina chased you through the halls of the Little Palace, running quickly through the endless corridors, your laughter carrying through them as you kept yourself in front of Nina.
Nikolai had kept you in the Os Altan palace since that night, where Inej laughed and danced and did her flips, whilst Wylan played the piano and Kaz sat beside you, listening to your ramblings without a care in the world. 
“You seem delighted,” Nikolai noticed as you stopped in front of his office. “I’ve never seen you walk without that Brekker boy at your side, much less run while Zenik is on your tail!” You shrugged, laughing as Ninas front crashed into your back.
“This is the best I’ve felt in a year,” you murmured. “I figured I’d see if Nina was up to chase me around this morning, and I haven’t stopped running since!” You peered in through the open office door, looking for that familliar mop of dark brown hair.
Nina wrapped her arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be here any minute,” she murmured. “He and the boys are just finishing up a job for Nik in East Ravka, but Matthias told me the second that they’d left!”
“Trust me. Y/N,” Nikolais smooth voice murmured. “I put them on one of my fastest boats. I knew how long it’d take them to get from here to east Ravka and back, and I promised him he’d be here when you finally awoke.” 
“Hows it feel, anyway?” Zoya appeared at his side. “Eighteen, I mean.” You shrugged.
“I miss Kaz,” you murmured bluntly. “I hate that I have to tell him that he was right, but I still miss him.” 
Nikolai took Zoyas hand, pulling her close as you and Nina watched, smiles on your faces. 
“Young love,” Zoya teased. “Zenik, let go of them so that they can turn around.” Nina obeyed, letting you go and moving to lean against the doorway with Nikolai and Zoya. 
You turned, and smiled when your gazes met. “You were right, Brekker,” you murmured, walking toward him as he held out your gift to you. “I’m better now, and the second that you’re ready to spar, I’m gonna beat your ass, even though you’ve your cane as a weapon.” He grabbed your pinky with his the moment you were within distance.
“How’d the heist go?” You murmured once the two of you had walked out of earshot. 
“Good,” Kaz let himself be close to you as you two moved, squeezing your pinky as you slowed your steps. “Plan went off without a hitch, for three idiots and a mastermind with a limp. I brought you this from it,” he held the gift out to you again, and you took it in your free hand, examining it.
“I had to ask permission for that,” he murmured. “I had to get the Ravkan kings seal of approval to steal that for you.” You laughed, looking it over.
It was a journal. Black and leather bound, pages crisp and untouched. A pen was tucked into the cover. 
“I promise, we’ll go home soon,” you responded. “I miss Ketterdam. I could go for some waffles.” 
“Don’t they have waffles here?” Kaz questioned.
“Not Ketterdam waffles, love. Ketterdam waffles are unlike any pathetic waffle from here! Doused in syrup and whip cream--” You let out a satisfied sigh. “So good it’s almost surreal!” Kaz smirked.
“Waffle date when you’re well enough to return home then?” 
“Certainly.”
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moxfirefly · 3 years
Note
Okay okay okay I have something. You are so good at writing tmnt so here it goes. What about... Make up sex? ;) I imagine how there has been a huge fight with their girl. So much so that the turtles thought it would lead to breakup. But the SO returns and it ultimately leads to some angsty action. Of course you can imagine it however you want too! Make up your own reasons if need be!!
As somebody who breathes angst this is truly fun. You didn’t specify a turt lad so I hope you don’t mind me choosing and going from there. Just cause I’m intrigued ima go with my orange boi.
TW: Angst/Feels/Arguments
Rated Explicit (18+ only)
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His hands hurt so much. When you ball your fists for too long the tendons tend to protest, the digging of nails into palms stings.
Mikey doesn’t like how loud his head feels right now. He sits against the wall closest to his tv, your scent is surrounding him and it only serves to make him more frustrated and gutted. The two of you have never gone past discussion into full blow arguing. He doesn’t like to fight with you, he does enough fighting on a nightly bases anyways.
But you got stubborn and he got selfish. Voices got raised, things were said and each one got hurt. He knows he can’t keep you glued to his shell forever, he’s had to learn the hard way, that there’s a life above that you inhabit and people around he’ll never truly meet. He knows every detail about your home life, knows your mother’s maiden name, how your aunt likes to get drunk at the family reunions and spill gossip. He knows your childhood home’s street name, the first guy you kissed, the first girl you kissed. Every aspect of your life you have told him in confidence, in laughter, in tears.
But Mikey is never gonna be part of it. He can’t really meet your dad and have that ‘if you break her heart I’ll break your legs’ talk. He won’t bond with your mom over their mutual love of cooking and secretly become her confidant. Knowing all these people but never truly knowing them is something he accepts.
It’s you leaving for three months back home. Three months away from him, three months where you’ll be surrounded by nostalgia you miss and love. Where your family will ask about ‘any boyfriends?’ and you’ll have to fake laugh your way through it. Three months of you being amongst people you constantly miss.
Surrounded by normalcy.
And Mikey wanted to be happy for you, he wanted to say fuck it and face time you every morning and night, watch you be happy to be in your hometown and maybe even get a virtual tour of it...
But that little dark part in his brain calls him a freak and reminds him constantly that you’ll get tired of surrounding yourself in craziness, monsters, end of the world scenarios etc. It just can’t seem to allow him to be happy for you. So the entire thing had ended in a fight, where dumb regretful things had been spat and you had marched off pissed and he had remained here equally pissed.
His brothers think he doesn’t get mad, they think he holds himself together through sheer ignorant bliss but it’s never been the case. Cause you’ve seen fire in his pretty blue eyes, you’ve seen those same very pretty blue eyes turn red with tear, you’ve seen so much of what he hides behind his laughter.
And fuck, three months of you away?!
Mikey pushes his knees up against his chest and sighs. His phone hasn’t made a noise despite his efforts to try and call you after he has calmed down. He debated going to your house and apologizing or at least going for a more calmer approach in expressing why this had left him so triggered. He wants to make sure this hasn’t pushed you both to your end, another nagging little thought that hasn’t quite shut its mouth.
Had this been the end? Had you walked out in a fury of frustration and decided this is it? Would you seize all communication and just erase the memories of him and your time together?
He’s hurting himself, he’s also getting angrier. This is stupid, he’s been stupid and immature and so are you for walking off!
It’s two hours before he decides to get up and toss his phone and try to consume his surrounding in order to relax. Mind over matter and all it’s wonderful bullshit. He doesn’t want to leave his room cause he knows the others must’ve heard.
He’s four hours deep into a shooting game when Raph pokes his head in with some food. He doesn’t look up, cause he knows Raph wants to be a good big brother and talk to him but he doesn’t want to when he’s one unfortunate mishandling away from crying. He lets him sit with him, watch him play and run a little bit of commentary that actually makes him smile just a teeny bit.
Even when Raph gets up and runs a large mitt over his head and tells him ‘broads are just emotional, she’ll come around’ he tries his best to not let his eyes betray him. Even when Raph gives the top of his head a kiss and pats his shell, he tries his best to keep it together.
It’s around 4am when he decides to look for his phone, chucked somewhere near his bed and maybe not broken. He finds it under his bed, screen a little cracked and one text message reading ‘r u awake?’ By you, it was sent twenty minutes ago and somewhere between debating calling or texting he hears the curtain in his room move.
You’re there.
Face two parts unreadable and a good topping of frustrated. Your face is bare, a mixture of sleepwear and winter clothing that clearly shows you had tried to sleep it off but couldn’t. “I just saw this... sorry” Mikey wonders if that sorry is related to the unread text or more so this mess. You look away, the energy around you can be felt. That upset way you bite the inside of your lip, how you cross your arms and run through every possible way of starting your side of things to say.
“Why are you really mad about me going back home?” You can’t meet his gaze and Mikey is thankful because he feels an oncoming headache. “I dunno man...” He sets his phone on his makeshift night table and runs his hands through his face, mask being taken off with the motion.
“That’s not an answer, you’re mad about something and I want to know” This time you do look and Mikey’s playing with the shoe string on one of the sneakers that hangs from the bunk bed. He chooses to stay quiet because if he does say something, what are the chances that you’ll understand?
“Mike, talk to me” He huffs a bitter laugh, ‘Mike’ is the he’s in trouble name. But he feels more obstinate than ever because why talk?
He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at his feet. “I didn’t come back in the freezing cold to actually work through this if you aren’t going to throw me a bone at least-” Your tone is a mix of exasperation and sadness. “You go back and you forget about me” Mikey cuts through.
You furrow your brows at his statement. “What?” You take a few steps but he side steps you and that somehow cuts you. “You go back home and you realize it’s better to be in a normal environment that isn’t New York, in the sewers, with me-“ He motions to all of him. “And all the crazy shit we do” He glares, not necessarily at you but more so at all of this, the current state of affairs.
Running a frustrated hand through your hair you try to settle your thoughts. “You can’t jump to a conclusion like that and you know it, I’m not skulking off back home and ghosting you! And frankly it fucking hurts you think of me like that” You reach for him because Mikey can’t be still for five seconds if his life depended on it, but he grabs your hands and refuses to let you lull him with your touch. “It’s not a conclusion it’s a friggin possibility! Do you see us actually being endgame in all this shit!” He grips your wrists, you want to get through to him but he’s lost in that terrible negative mindset.
“We both aren’t mind readers! But trust me that leaving you is nowhere on my list of achievements” You manage out of his grip and grasp his face. “You are being unfair and stubborn as fuck but I love you okay?” Your voice sounds almost angry, angry at the very idea of living in a world where you and him don’t coexist together.
“I can’t even marry you! I can’t even knock you up!” Another bitter laugh escapes him, he knows your parents would die for some grandkids. Why is he so different, why does he have to be so fucking different he wonders bitterly.
“I don’t care, I don’t fucking care about a piece of paper or screaming babies, I care about you and I want you and I’m fucking happy with you stop sabotaging it” You press your hands to his hard plastron and scowl. “Stop lying to me then! Don’t pity lie at me when I know you want all that shit” He frowns, eyes watery and not caring if he wakes everybody up in the Lair.
Mikey’s ready for the rant of a life time but then you have to go and kiss him.
Kiss him hard, kiss him with rage bubbling on the skin of your lips. He can taste your words, taste every way you would’ve shut down his words with basic truth and facts. You pull away, forehead still pressed to his and you mutter against his lips. “You’re so fucking insufferable, shut up and listen to me” Your eyes are watery as is, hands at his neck to keep him at eye level.
“I love you, I love you so fucking much” You take a shuttering inhale, fingers skimming up towards his cheeks. Mikey can only watch you, take in every detail he’s been obsessed with for so long. You’re so beautiful to him, even when your angry crying, yelling at him to open his eyes. You’re warm and real in front of him, against his body. You watch his eyes go from that calm before the storm into the aftermath.
He’s so real to you, so lovely and he doesn’t seem to understand it.
There’s a pause. A mere ten second reprieve where only silence and breathing remain. Mikey feels your hands slowly slide down his body, nails scratching his sides. You keep your eyes on him, a hand slides into his shorts, index finger mapping out the slit that encompasses his most intimate part. Mikey shudders, sensitivity racking his body at your touch. He walks you up against a wall, a hand on your neck and another finding it’s way into your own pants.
He teases you, just as you tease him. Knees buckle when he pushes your lips apart and feels your moistening folds. There’s already a bump where your touching him and the way he’s tensing gives way to how he’s trying to hold himself in. “Come on, come on” You weren’t aware just how hard you’ve been breathing till you speak. Mikey’s mouths falls open, eyes closing as he drops down into your warm awaiting hand. You stroke him, teasing the flesh of his head just to make him buck and recapture your lips. His own finger finds its way in you, stretching and making your breath hitch.
The only reason you both pull away is to tear at one another’s clothes, an easy accomplishment when Mikey’s got just his shorts. He isn’t soft with your clothing either, yanking and nearly tearing, his on his knees pulling off your underwear. Your scent hits him and he’s gone, trapped in all that is you. He inhales sharply as he gets back on his feet, arms hooking under your thighs as he picks you up.
You both land on the bed, a huff escaping you and a grunt when Mikey feels you push him so you can straddle him. You don’t quite finesse this, it’s not your usual seductive ways that leave him a mess. It’s rough, there’s still frustration lingering in the air and Mikey’s okay with it because he knows he might go to rough if he runs the show.
So you do.
Sinking down on his hard cock with a long guttural moan. Mikey digs his fingers onto the plush skin of your bottom, just enough to make you sit on his cock and relish it. Eyes closed he just basks, the tightness, the wetness, the warmth. His eyes flutter open when he feels your palms on his plastron, firm and with purpose. His hands know already, they go up and rest on your waist and he swallows a churr when your hips begin to move fast and hard.
That rhythmic slapping of flesh, your rear hitting his lap on each thrust down. Mikey can’t stop churring, eyes on your own or slipping down to your beautiful breasts bouncing. You notice and lean forward, he buries his face between him, arm going around your waist as he lifts his hips to help you cross that line. The sweat of your skin is on the top of his tongue as he sucks a bruise onto your breast, you’re tightening up so much, cussing and begging for him.
You both can’t stop moaning, once you’re cummin and Mikey follows closely behind. He holds you close to him as you ride out the sensations, tightly secured against his strong body, held and loved. You’re a broken record of ‘I love you’s and so is he, filling you up and up.
Collapsed on top of him, chest heaving, you still feel the strength in his arms as he hugs you to him. You bury your face on his neck, body shaking with sobs as he whispers he’s sorry over and over as he kisses your shoulder, neck and head.
You say it too, against his skin.
Where you wish you could stay everyday.
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