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#god bless this trio of idiots
cha-mij · 6 months
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*puts on Alkaline Trio*
*hair automatically falls over half my face*
*starts happily singing along to extremely depressing lyrics like it's 80's pop*
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shinymushroom · 1 year
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Idk about u, but I personally relate to this gender the most
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gatitties · 1 year
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Hey! Hey. Here's a gift for being a wonderful writer and person 💐💐💐
I just wanted to ask...well, you can take it as a Part 2 of the Platonic Yandere! Monster trio with Teen!Female!Y/n who hot into their world. What if Y/n will get invited into another crew? Not just any crew but Law's or Kid's ? (You can choose one of them or if you feel mischievous both).
Maybe they then kidnapped Y/n.???(Plot twist?)
─Yandere!monster trio x teen!fem!reader (platonic)
─Summary: you try to go with another crew, but that would be very dangerous for you, it's better to stay with them, right?
─Warnings: toxic behaviors, obsession, manipulation, yandere stuff
Part one
omg you're so cute 🫂 now everyone here is yanderes and they want to spend time with reader 😩 (@emtynessinmyworld, @hbk99450 here you go, second part!!)
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─ You have to be very lucky that someone outside the crew can even talk to you or look at you.
─ Luffy is still an idiot at least, he won't mind if you meet other people only if they are trustworthy, just like Sanji, Zoro is the least permissive in terms of the people you are allowed to talk to.
─ However, at some point in history Law arrived, you knew it, but as you promised, you were not going to ruin their adventures.
─ They didn't take much importance to it when you and Law started talking more often, after all, now they were in an alliance with him and you seemed to be behaving normally with them, you learned to swallow your fear little by little knowing that they wouldn't harm you physically.
─ The problem was that you fascinated Law with all your history, your world, how you got here, the few medical things you knew and that you could tell him about your world, he seemed to never tire of conversations with you.
─ Of course, he is not stupid and he noticed the obsessive behavior of the trio the more time he spent with you, it seemed that stealing your time irritated them, they always looked for an excuse to get away from him, he didn't like it.
─ Before the alliance ended, he offered you to sail with him, after all he could also protect you, but more importantly heal you if any incident ever happens
─ If you accepted, keep in mind that these three are going to catch you red-handed trying to leave them, why are you leaving? Are you no longer comfortable with them by your side? It doesn't matter, they are the only ones who can keep you safe, you know it well, they are the protagonists isn't it?
─ If you manage to escape anyway, don't think that Law will be more permissive, he will be stricter with certain things, although he knows that he can control you perfectly, he just needs a bit of blackmail to get you to calm down.
─ If you don't succeed, you will be punished, you will have to be locked in your room for a few days, and after that you will have to go with a child leash when you are on an island, they will not lose sight of you and you will have to earn their trust little by little.
─ Then again, if you ever cross paths with Kid without the boys, or even with them, maybe he heard some rumor about a strange teenager traveling with the Strawhats.
─ Kid is an asshole, he will only want you on his ship to annoy Luffy, like starting a war.
─He'll try to kidnap you, you're weak so it's a piece of cake for him, just a little help from his crew is enough to distract the monster trio and leave you alone.
─ Killer will look at him with disapproval after hearing why you were there, but it was too late to return you, they didn't want to have someone useless in terms of strength on their ship.
─ Luckily you exchanged that lack of power with knowledge, god bless those idiotic but useful google searches you did all the time before you got here.
─ Of all the crews, the Kid Pirates were the least concerned about your well-being, which gave you a break from everything you had to put up with the Strawhats or, failing that, if you had finished with Law.
─ Although that does not mean that they now consider you part of the group, being the weakest link, they always had you in their sights in case something happened, Heat and Wire became your bodyguards.
─ They have definitely been threatened by Luffy, he has probably done something out of character for him and that is why they are watching that there is not even a measly wound on your body, somehow, both you and they know that the trio of monsters will return.
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nerdykorgi · 2 months
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"Hang in there." she whispered to him by his ear, her arms wrapped over his waist to hold the staff, securing him.
:0 fanart for @captainmera 's wittebros fic "The Tales of Caleb Wittebane" because its so flipping good and Mera is awesome.
the way they interpret the relationships between Caleb, Evelyn, AND Philip is literally just mwah, chef's kiss.
calling these three sillies the folklore trio because god bless its just so perfect
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idiots :) i love them so (and artemis the spoder because we love the boogie bug)
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ao3feed-fengqing · 4 days
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the case of mutual devotion
by zoluarts "Since you're a Taoist master, I already know how to help you." Xie Lian asked him to continue, curious. The man then pointed north. "They are building new temples on the borders of Qingdao, around the city. I've heard that they're hiring guardians to take care of the temples for good pay. You should check it out." Xie Lian found the situation funny. One god being hired to maintain temples of another. Nor was he all that shameless. Still, he asked. "Who is the god worshipped there?" "It's not a god." The man laughed. "It's a ghost. The Ghost King Hua Cheng."   After the defeat of thirty-three heavenly officials, many temples are rising and many are falling. Job offers come and go. Xie Lian is a god. He never thought that at some point he would become the worshipper. Words: 6420, Chapters: 1/10, Language: English Fandoms: 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 天官赐福 | Heaven Official's Blessing (Cartoon), 天官赐福 | Heaven Official's Blessing (Webcomic) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi Characters: Xie Lian (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Hua Cheng (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Original Characters, Feng Xin (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Mu Qing (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Pei Ming (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Pei Xiu (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Ling Wen (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Shi Wudu Relationships: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Feng Xin/Mu Qing (Tian Guan Ci Fu) Additional Tags: Huā Chéng and Xiè Lián Invented Love, Huā Chéng and Xiè Lián are in Love (Tiān Guān Cì Fú), xie lian is in love, hua cheng is the god of xie lian, God Huā Chéng, Ghost Huā Chéng (Tiān Guān Cì Fú), Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Matchmaker Pei Ming (Tian Guan Ci Fu), pei ming is not having a good week, Feng Xin and Mu Qing Being Idiots (Tian Guan Ci Fu), they hate hua cheng so much, Xiānlè Trio (Tiān Guān Cì Fú), mu qing and feng xin think xie lian has gone crazy, maybe they are right, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence via https://ift.tt/4tXLo5s
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popculturebuffet · 5 months
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Little Retrospective of Horrors: The Musicals (Monthly Muppets Madness) (Comission for Emma Fici)
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Welcome back all you strange and intresting plants to both my little retrospective of horrors AND monthly muppet madness my (usually) monthly look at anything muppet related. And after a blood apptizer or the original corman film, you can find that review HERE, i'ts time to get to the chunks of fileted dentist main course with the stage musical and one of my all time favorite films, it's 1986 film adaptation.
Originally I was going to do the stage version seperate... but when I sat down to watch the best visual and audio quality one I could find on youtube, the 2008 production from the American Musical Theater of San Jose which you can find HERE if your curious.. I found out that in addition to being a great movie on it's own.. LIttle Shop of Horrors is an EXCELLENT adaptation: While there are changes to make it work better as a film, cut songs for time and some changes in Seymours character we'll get to, most of the dialogue and music is exactly as it was in the stage play. At it's core the film is simply the musical as it's best self, taking all the great parts of it, trimming a bit of fat and giving us some knockout performances in the lead rolls. The film has some issues, we'll get to that like everything else... but on the whole even looking past my nostalgia.. it's still just a complete joy to watch and a love letter to the original
So i'll mainly be looking at the movie, but still covering the stage play here and there including the cut songs.
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Good then let's dive into the giant man eating plant under the cut and see how it still talks, moves, sings and busts our balls after all this time.
Ya Never Know:
Little Shop of Horrors was the second collab and the brekaout one for the duo of Howard Ashman and Alan Menkin, a lyrcist and composer respectfully. It's , to my shock this very musical that caught Disney's eye, leading to the two composing songs for The Little Mermaid, Oliver and Company, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and of all things Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue, which I covered this 420. Sadly Ashman passed away in 1991, same year I was born, of AIDS, never seeing the finished Beauty and the Beast. His lost is a tragic one and i'ts sad a voice was robbed from us too soon by a disease that might of had better treatment had the goverment not been homophobic idiots. Menken is still working for Disney to this day, often returning for the unecessary live action remakes. Hey if it gets a certified legend a paycheck, at least some good comes out of those.
At any rate, back then the two were theater writers, whose previous show, God Bless You Mr. Rosewater, hadn't done well. Wanting a fun project, Ashman thought back to an old play of his about a plant that had a magnetisim about it, a cult of personality.. and then realized it was a ripoff of beloved film from his teen years, Little Shop of Horrors. He pitched the idea to Menken who after seeing the film was absolutely in love, with it's 60's setting giving him plenty of inspiration.
"Howard and I work fairly quickly once we have the handle on what we’re doing. But we did go through a long period of outlines and song styles that we discarded. I decided that I wanted the musical approach to come from some early 1960s music—the girl group sound. It has a very dark, menacing ring. You can almost hear whips and chains in the background. There were two ponytailed teenagers in the movie and we decided to turn them into a black trio that functions as a Greek chorus, commenting on the action.”
Ashman added in the same interview
“People who see our show say, ‘It’s just like the movie.’ It really isn’t. The movie falls apart in the middle and has a weak ending. We added the S&M romance between Audrey and the sadistic dentist. We dropped the character who eats carnations and got rid of Seymour’s mother, who had an iron lung and bitched about everything. Most important of all—the bodies fed to the plant in the movie were accidental deaths, like a bum who is hit by a train. In our version, the deaths are planned by Seymour and he kills off some very important characters. I think our show has a more coherent structure. Once the musical was finished, a major problem was to find someone who could play Audrey II, the malevolent plant that reduces the cast to a minimum.”
This tightend up but still rediculous show was put on at the two's regular theater, the WPA (which they joked stood for "We put on anything). It was soon a success and much like Audrey II grew, and grew and grew, with the play being a sizeable hit with critical acclaim, paticuarlly for it's puppet. Said puppet was done by Martin Robinson, a seasame street vetran who'd play snuffleupaguss, and did a great job making nit really seem alive.
Some Fun Now:
One of the plays producers, David Geffen saw the Film's Potetial, and wanted to make a film adaptation, and got some pretty big names attached: both Martin "Old Genius Yells at Cloud" Scorcse and John "Multiple Murders" Landis were attached at one point, the former wanting to shoot it in 3D
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Geffen then offered the film to an at the time rookie director, but one who'd still more than proven himself. Frank Oz. Muppet Maestro extrodinare, co-director of the Dark Crystal who was just coming off Muppets Take Manhattan. Oz turned it down at first as he didn't really have a cinematic approach to it. Once it came to him though he quickly agreed. They had a script.. but Oz wisely noticed it was stage bound.
This is important as some musical adaptations fall flat simply because of staging: for instance a good chunk of the flack the adaptation of in to the woods got.. was that it was shot and staged like a play.. despite being you know a movie. It probably also didn't help it was shot like someone took a baseball bat to all their lighting rigs.
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So Oz's first priority being "take this already great script and simply make it cinematic" is one of the very first great things I can point out about the film. Having now seen both while the Stage PLay is excellent as is, Oz takes what's there and elevates it: While most of the action's still in the titular shop, the shop itself is now split level and most musical numbers are taken beyond one of the plays three locations to really make them pop with Skid Row now being a giant crowd number to show how desperate things are, Da Doo being a full flashback that's ironically presented like a stage play, Dentist being mostly set in Orin's office and on the back of his bike, and Suddenly Seymour being taken to a back alley. All simple touches but ones that make the numbers feel a bit more alive and keeps the setting from feeling clostrophobic: we still spend most of the picture in the plant shop but unlike the musical or original film, you don't start to FEEL it. Giffen and Ashman liked what he had and thus we were off to the races.
Casting wise there dosen't seem to have been a lot of drama. The only real bit I got form the interview I used is that Cyndi Lauper was considered for audrey, and while she would've been great i'm sure, I wholly agree with Oz that Ellen Green, who originated the role, was perfect. I can't imagine anyone else in the roll.
A Strange and Interesting Plant:
That brings us to the puppetry and if anything proves this has muppet blood it's the team Frank Oz assembled: To design it he brought on Lyle Conway, the designer for Dark Crystal, to make it he brought on the team from Labyrinth and to move it he brought back Robinson and added Brian Henson. I can't overstate how much Oz was the right man for the job based on this alone: someone else COUDL'VE done it but the effects wouldn't of been nearly as perfect without a team of this level and someone to put it together of Frank's level. It's far from the only reason this film is good, but it's certainly one of the highest.
I can't gush enoguh about the plant puppets: it looks real, the rubbery nature of it resembling the texture of a rubbery plant in real life, the lips being perfect to open and emote and usually resting in a mildly unesettling smile, perfect for the smug manipulator Twoey is.
Something I hadn't really taken note of before but Oz pointed out was the baby versions designed, with it's flowers resembling a bonet, a nice touch to show how harmless it looks at first.. which helps sell the message: just because something or someone LOOKS harmless dosen't mean they can't be dangerous in the right circumstances.
It only gets better with each phase and I notice how Twoey looks creepier at each phase... being fairly mundane in it's first two, a bit unerving when we get to "I can talk and I can move" , and truly terrifying in it's last few phases, with it's teeth growing and growing each time as it's powers grow.
As for getting it to move right that took a trick I"m STILL impressed by and still looks near seamless: so when playing the dailies back, Oz noticed tooey didn't quite move right. It was a bit slow.. but he noticed when rewinding or fast forwarding it Toey moved just as it should. So he had a bit of a bonkers idea: have the actors move slower in scenes with the plant as a puppet, so they could speed up the footage. And to his credit while many a director would just run with this and tell the actors to get over it, especially at the time.. oz genuinely worried about the problems this faced and was sympathetic in pitching it. And to their credit... everyone was game. They saw it as a fun challenge.
Otherwise productoin seemed to go fine... with two big exceptions. The first was after test screenings, the studios wanted to replace Levi Stubbs with Rodney Dangerfield to make the plant less scary
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Look I love Rappin Rodney. He's the best. He gave us one of the greatest lines in all of cinema
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He's dearly missed.. but while he CAN sing, unsuprisingly, he's just not a good fit for this role. Audrey II is a tempting force, a manipulator, a smooth talker, and Rodney is none of those things. A schemer yes, a loveable everyman yes, a rap god, yes. But he was not Audrey II, Levi Stubbs was and i'm so damn greatful this abomination didn't happen, as hilarious as it would've been.
There was ANOTHER problem with test audiences, one i'm sure you all know and if not your going to... but that's best saved for when we get to the end. For now with all the behind the scenes behind us, for now, let's take a look at the events that started on the 21st day of the month september, in a decade not too long before our own, when the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to it's very existence. And this terrifying enemy suddenly surfaced, as such enemies often do,
In The Seemingly Most Innocent and Unlikely of Places.
We open the film with our title track.. and the stage show too but i'll just be saying "the film" for simplicites sake, though i'll still be covering where the versions diverge, unique stuff to both etc.
The title track is a decent , fun number to introduce it, done over a black screen on stage and in front of Mushniks in the movie.
Regardless of versoin it's sang by Crystal, Ronette and Chiffon, a trio of black singers and local teens who serve as our greek chorus. Their treatment is also one of the bigger diffrences between the stage and screen versions: on stage the three interact with the cast more and are more actual characters, getting a whole number with Seymour we'll get to and trying to get rid of Orin.
In the musical while two of their scenes interacting with the main cast remain, Mushnik shoing them away and the trio recommending Audrey date Seymour, their role as a greek chorus is emphasised, with the three appearing in more places and costumes, like on a roof in evening gowns for "Some fun now' in the dentist office for "Dentist!", in the florist at night for "Suppertime", and in an office in "The Meek Shall Inheret".
I prefer the film version. While they still had to have them as characters.. .after act 1 of the play they mostly vanish aside from chorus bits. This not only gives them more to do, but helps create a nice little question mark: are these three showing up everywhere, is it in the characters heads, artistic lisense, are they magic? We really don't know and I like it that way. The scenes of them as real people are still there.
Tichia Arnold, Michelle Weeks, and Tisha Campbell do a phenominal job in the roll and have a hell of a vocal range. They aren't given as much as the rest of the cast and it is a shame three of the only black performers in the cast aren't given as much to do in this version, but they still make the most of what screentime they have. Fun fact, Arnold and Campbell would later go on to both be on the sitcom Martin. I've never watched Martin, I never really want to, but I figured it was worth pointing out.
It's once we actually get inside the shop, Mushnik's Skid Row Florists that we meet our three leads: Mr Mushnik, the shop's owner played by character actor Vincent Gardenia, shrill voiced and gold hearted Audrey played by Ellen Greene as previously noted and my boy, the man the myth and the legend, Rick Moranis as Seymour Krelborne, Mushnik's hired hand, adopted son in all but legal papers, and hopless nerdy klutz.
The trio are perfectly cast.. granted that goes for everyone. Gardenia is hilariously shouty as the hammy Mushnik, being a worthy sucessor to the original film's equally hammy highlight. Mushnik is made a bit more of a dick here, as instead of being mad at Seymour for simply being really bad at his job he abuses someone whose just a tad clumsy, who he adopted and he basically treats as an indentured servant. He's also bumped down from Deutragonist to main cast.
Audrey gets a huge glow up going from a pretty forgetable character, to a tragically heartbroken one, a woman who assumes, very wrongly, she deserves the abuse her dentist boyfriend Orin gives her. Granted I don't like how Ashman seems to think BDSM is the same as domestic abuse, but Oz does a good job in the film downplaying the bdsm part, instead making it clear Orin is just a sadistic bastard. More on him later. Greene plays audrey perfectly: she has a goofy, perfectly doofy voice for adurey.. but she portrays it with such sincerty and heart. Audrey is a genuinely kind person: you can see why Seymour falls for her even if she can't see it. Audrey is someone who, as I relate to all too easily, hates themselves and sees their not worth it. We also get some nicely sex positive messaging with her, especailly for the 80's: while the bdsm mentions have aged like Ragu on a sidewalk, especially after 50 shades of grey ALSO didn't get what BDSM was and linked it to abuse, the internalized misogny audrey has, that just because she was a stripper (as is heavily implied) once and likes to dress how she pleases she's unworthy.. when really she's fine as is and fine as who she is. It's Orin who deserves to die.
Finally we have Seymour himself, played by the man, the myth, the boy, Rick Moranis. Rick Moranis slaps. He was an icon of the 80's and while he had to leave to raise his kids, he left at the height of his game. Moranis was the nerd of the 80's so he was perfectly cast. What this film also shows off , and thus i've always known about, but dosen't get shown off in say ghostbusters or other awesome roles.. is the fact that Moranis can sing. Moranis has a gorgeous voice, as does most of the cast here, and perfectly captures this version of seymour: someone who like Audrey, dose'nt think much of themselves but wants more for themselves, they just don't see a way out of where they are.
And where they are is DOWNTOWN, aka skid row, one of the best numbers of the musical. While it's decent enough in the original stage, Oz takes it up a notch, making it a giant, impactful crowd number, taking us all around as we hear just how hard it is for the people of skid row and how hopless it is.. and how much both Audrey and Seymour want to escape it despite the odds being against them. it's a beautiful I want song and one of the best, backed by Beatrice Reading's beautiful belting to open the song. A true masterpiece
So after that number we get a fun time passing montage, as with each shot we see it pass... and eventually see Mushnik throw up his hands and give up. They haven't sold anything all day, and he's going to close down the place.
Seymour however has a solution: they need a hook, an attraction. IT's him rather than Dick Miller who has the idea here which honestly... is just plain smart. While they sadly cut the Dick Miller Flower Eating guy out of the musical versions, I get he was suplerflous and he gets a perfect succesor in a moment and it makes way more sense for Seymour to just present the idea of his strange and intresting plant himself.
Seymour brings it up, the Audrey II. Audrey is flattered, Mushnik thinks the idea that this will work is laughable but figures why not... and then a weird man enters. This weird man is played by future comedy legend Christopher Guest of Waiting For Guffman and Best in Show Fame. I.. I can't understate how much I loved this guy even before finding out he was christopher guest a few years ago: his weirdly hammy way of talking, his suit, the way he says "what a stragne and intresting plant" you have to see him for yourself sometime. I also love how he titls his head when everyone says "twice as many"
As for how Seymour got it that leads us to Da-Do, a fun doo wop exposition number that in the movie is turned from just Seymour telling us in frame, to a neatly staged bit that looks like a play in construction. He buys it from Chang (Da-Do), a chinese botnist who sells him weird and intresting plants. Chang didn't make this one though, as TO-TAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN! (ding), leads to the plant beaming in and while neither man knows how it got there, Chang sells it to Seymour anyway for a dollar nintey five.
The strange man almost walks bout but then comes back to buy a dozen roses , then TWICE AS MANY, TWICE AS MANY? (Twice as many?), leading to a flood of new customers and the florist being saved
Problem is Tooey isn't feeling so good Mr. Krelbourne, so Seymour's forced to spend the night trying to fix it. It's then we get another banger, Grow for Me. Spoiler: this entire soundtrack is fucking great in both versions, but especially the film. Oz shows his smart framing again here, having the number in the basement rather than the main area, giving us a bit of breathing room. The number is really just rick singing to the plant while moving around but his awesome and sincre vocals and the hilarious lyrics make it a joy.
When Seymour asks "whaddya want from me blood"... Tooey's response is...
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So he opens a vein and the plant grows for him, leading to Seymour getting an interview on the radio
In both versions the interview is off screen, with us only seeing it through Mushnik and the trio (in the stage) and audrey (in the film) listening. What the film adds is a nice extra bit of Seymour actually going to the station. The station bit is really there for one and only one reason: so we can get a John Candy cameo. And frankly every film while he was alive should've been mandated to have a john candy cameo
John Candy is a comedy legend who died too young. He also has a history with Moranis, as the two were on the awesome sketch show SCTV in the 80's, so it was likely an easy ask to get Candy on here. The two also once did a song together on SCTV. It is also not necessary to this review but i'd be doing a diservice if I didn't play it for ya
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Even when the man is trying NOT to play good he slaps. if anything the fact he can sing well enough to sing awkwardly on purpose and still have it not HURT to listen to and be funny.. god I love this man.
Anyways John plays Wink Wilkin, a local DJ whose really just there for John Candy to show how hilariously awkawrd it is when a dj does a bit while someone's standing right there watching it. He's also on the Blu Ray cover for some reason
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This SCTV character is not vincent gardenia, what are you doing.
Anyways in the stage version Seymour coming back from the interview, after failing to give the adress, leads to "Ya Never Know", our first cut number.... KINDA.
See while the other three cut numbers are entirely gone from the musical, Ya Never Know was simply remixed into "Some Fun Now", taking the last part of Ya Never Know and making it into a slightly diffrent song. This change is for the better as while Ya Never Know rocks, it tightens up the pacing and instead of a random mid day musical number, we get a later juxtopistion of the fun and upbeat "Ya never know" with Seymour giving more and more blood to Toey.
Before we get to Some Fun Now though we have another number as the trio ask Audrey what the heck she sees in Orin. And what I do like is that while most people around Audrey tell her to "Just leave"... the film and stage show make it clear that it isn't that easy. It's honestly a great depection of abuse: while the idea that most victims have low self esteem isn't great, the idea that their abuser chips away at that and exploits that is very clear in how Orin treats her and how Audrey sees herself. Not only that, we get a very VALID reason why she dosen't leave him "If he does this when he likes me imagine what he'd do if I left?". The only people Audrey has in her corner are a kind nerd she dosen't want to see horribly mangled and an old man who would certainly try. No one would protect her if she left, so she can't. It's a horrible and tragic circumstance and a shockingly frank depection of abuse in what's otherwise a pretty light musical, and a hint that this musical.. isn't nearly as light as it appears on the surface.
So all Audrey can do is dream of a house somewhere that's green, leading to our next number. And as a kid.. I hated this one. It was long, it went on forever and I didn't really find the jokes that funny. oh hahaha 12 inches was a big screen.
As an adult... it's heartbreaking. Audrey is so trapped in her situation all she can do is pine for a future she thinks she can only dream about, one she feels deep down she and Seymour will never have and will never live to see. The last part's true depending on the ending, which makes it hurt that much more: knowing what's comign for her, knowing what twisted version of her dream she gets.. it hurts. It tangibly hurts.
Outside of being beautiful, well crafted sad, this sequence also brings an element I really didn't notice before to the foreground: captalisim. The film really takes the screws to our society, how some barely scrape by and can only dream and how some can ONLY get ahead through sheer luck. Seymour only found Audrey II because of a freak TO-TAL E-CLIPSE OF THE SUN! (ding). When your poor.. the world just wants to keep you that way and while working your way out IS an option.. it may not always work out. Mushnik has a nice flower shop for what he can get.. but it's dying simply because he can't afford a place not on skid row, where few people can really afford what he sells. And as the film goes on we see sometimes the way out... will eat you alive in the process.
Anyways, captalizim aside, I also love the designwork here. I used not to register just how much work it must've been to make this sort of thing but OZ and co really went out of their way to make some truly neat sets that feel unreal and plastic. So while it's still not a song I go back to a lot, it's one I apricate a lot more.
So we then get Orin.. and to my shock his intro's a bit diffrent in the stage play. Him riding up on his motorbike while singing on a purposefully crappy green screen is so awesome I hadn't thought "Well yes Jake but that's impossible to do on stage. ". Instead he talks with the Trio a bit. As you can probably guess... I prefer the film version, and once again it's less nostalgia or familiarity and more just showmanship. It's not really a fair contest as Frank made sure this was as film friendly as possible, so each number is him going all out while on stage it's just like any stage musical: it's what you can do on a stage. Dosen't make it any less awesome, my hatchetfield reviews should make that clear, it's just hard to compare to what OZ pulled off.
At any rate Dentist! is one of the most iconic numbers of the film and that's thanks in addition to Menkin's perfect 50's greaser ditty, to the charisma of one Steve Martin. Like Moranis I shoudln't have ot introduce steve martin who at 78 is not only still acting and has never quite stopped, he's also currently starring in the popular Only Murders in the Building with fellow SCTV alum Martin Short. I'd love for Rick or Ellen to pop up on there frankly even if I don't watch the show.
At any rate, Dentist is a gloriously hammy, surpisingly dark ditty about just what a monster orin is and how since "his temprament's wrong for preisthood and teaching would suit him still less" his mother recommended he become a dennnntttiiist and he'll be a sucess. And he is.. somehow. 1960's I suppose. The film gleefully outlines him as a hamm over the top villian, not just from shooting puppies with a bb gun and poimsning guppies when he was done but from little things Martin adlibed, with Orin just flat out socking his nurse in the face and tearing the head off a doll. It's so over the top it's hilarious and the song is so damn catchy and well done you can't help but sing along once you know the words. Add on the fact Steve Martin does a shockingly good elvis and you have one of the most perfect musical numbers and most hilariously over the top villian songs there is.
We soon meet Orin properly and what I love is that while Steve Martin gleefully hams it up with orin most of the time... he tones it down just enough when audrey enters. It's best shown when he meets Seymour. With Seymour he's flashy, happy to see him and recommends he get out of skid row asap. With Audrey.. he's quitely meancing, getting snippy when she dosen't add DDS to his name and snapping at her when she dosen't. But what makes it work.. is that it's kept realistic. Yes Orin is a greaser dentist about to be eaten by a plant, yes he's a bit goofy.. but the actual effect of his abuse and how he does it is played creepily real. He dosen't hit her in front of Seymour, with us only knowing he does because orin keeps leaving bruises, but it's very clear he has a tight control over her and Seymour's deeply uncomfortable the whole time, unable to actually DO anything to stop the guy despite knowing Audrey going off with him will only result in more pain for the poor woman.
Before Seymour can get an out for that we have to go back to the stage for one of the most suplerflous subplots i've seen in some time: So Mushnik is terrified Seymour is going to leave him and take the money and run, so he tries to adopt him. A 25 year old baby boy. Or 30 if you go by the movie which cut this out. We do get a great number out of it "Mushink and Son", where Mushnik tries to convince Seymour who mostly disagrees because he can see the lines but then Mushnik holds his breath for too long and Seymour agrees to become his son. It's entirely stupid and I love it, but I can see why i'ts cut. As a joke it's fine, hilarious and the number is fun. As part of the plot.. it goes nowhere. The florist shop is renamed Mushnik and Sons Skid Row Florist.. and that's it. It has no impact on Mushnik's later demise, the plot or anything but making Seymour feel on top of the world, which he already was. It's a nothing plot point only likely kept in all future versions because otherwise Mushnik's actor dosen't get a song.
So we get back to the main plot from that cul de sac and Seymour has a bit of an issue: while he could feed Twoey himself fine, he's not only tapped from previous feeings.. but Twoey is HUNGRY.. and with a loud whimpering feed me, Seymour finds out his plant can talk, he can move his trap he can demand more food.
With this Audrey's voice actor joins the party, Levi Stubbs. Stubbs was a member of 60's vocal quartet the Four Tops, a vetran singer who to my suprise was one of the inspirations for Hall and Oates. And their STILL active, switching out members as they go. They were such a big deal that Stubbs had to get the rest of the group's permission for this but thankfully he did.
Stubbs is a standout, perfectly nailing Twoey's character, maniuplative, smooth, and sinister. He can slip from threatning to tempting in an instant. One minute he'll be talking up Seymour the other he'll be telling him "does this look inanimate to you punk?" or telling him "Must be blood, must be fresh" one of my faviorite line deliveries from Stubbs as it's just so damn creepy. It underlines what Twoey needs.. someone to die for it. And a line Seymour isn't ready to cross.
So to push him over it we get the best song in the film, Feed Me (Gonna Get It), it's the first of THREE villian songs for Twoey in the film, two in the play, and it's the most iconic, outlining what this plant is right away: A deadly force.. but also a smooth manipulator, offering Seymour WHATEVER it takes to get him some lunch. The iconic "Would you like a cadilaic car, or a guest shot on jack par, how about a date with Hedy Lamar you gonna get it?". The I don't know bridge also nicely shows that Seymour. .isn't sold... this is a lot to ask and it's a high price tag. He sees the dollar signs.. but also sees the blood stains he'll have to clean out.. and the blood he can't ever scrub off his concious.
WE then get my faviorite part of the movie period. Twoey loudly belts out "a lotta folks dessserrrveee to die" a deftly manipulative line: after all it's a bit easier to muder if the person is bad right? One less scumbag right? or rather.. one lest dentist as in both versions Orin hits audrey where Seymour can see it and thus we get one of the best duets there's ever been as the two sing together. a one, a two IF YOU WANT A RATIONALE, IT ISN'T VERY HARD TO SEE NO NO NO, STOP AND THINK IT OVER PAL! THE GUY SURE LOOKS LIKE PLANT FOOD TO ME, THE GUY SURE LOOKS LIKE PLANT FOOD TO ME!
Now (It's Just the Gas0
So Seymour goes to GO GET IT. Cue the dentist office. And the movie adds something back the stage musical took out. While most of it's characters were either excised for serving no real purpose (Seymour's Mom, Dick Miller, The Sex Worker, the Mourning Lady, the Cops), or changed up (The two teeny boopers becoming the trio), Oz saw fit to bring one cut back: the dental mascochist, Arthur Denton in this version.
For this cameo Oz once again casted a big name, this time on purpose: Bill Murray, asshole and comedy legend. Look recent reveals like.. dangling a teenager over a garbage can and rampant sexual harassment may not have me liking him as a person, and it's certainly hurt films I love such as Meatballs. But as usual with these sort of assholes.. I HAVE to give credit where it's due. Murray is, as usual fucking hilaroius, nicely playing off Martin, a pairing we really haven't gotten outside of this one scene, with Orin being disgusted since Denton gets turned on. And like Nichelson Murray has this hijlarious jolly energy, though his is a bit more over the top fitting his style.
Anyways Seymour goes in for his checkup, which like the original film, Orin plans to take WAY too far and fuck up his mouth, giving Seymour ANOTHER reason to want the man dead. And it's there things change... as in both versions the same event happens, if slightly diffrently. It's been shown before this in Dentist! that Orin is addicited to Nitrious Oxide, having made up his own special gas mask to endulge, a weird bubble helmet in the stage and a simplier one on screen that's still JUST goofy enough. Problem is ... the thing works a bit too well and Orin snaps off the knob... just as, in the film at least, Seymour points a gun at him.
HIs death is utterly horrifying in both versions. I like the films as Martin does a fantastic job selling orin is dying and the horror that he's dying as he's laughing, coughing wildly between laughs. I also LOVE the exchange they have, something original to the film that sums things up perfectly
Orin: What'd I ever do to you?! Seymour: It's not what you did to me.. it's what you did to her. Orin: Who? (it dawns on him as the lights start to go out) Oh... her.
It's a simple moment but it shows in one last bit.. Orin realizes why his grave was dug.
The stage version of Orin dies the same way.. but it's extra unerving.. as he SINGS while it happens. Our penultimate cut number, Now (It's Just the Gas). I get why this one was cut: while the others were either reformatted or simply too suplerflous to live.. this one would've been fine. Here's the best live version I could find on it's own. Jake Gyllehal is seymour for some reason
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As you can see it's a nice mix... it's horrifying.. and really puts Seymour in a moment of truth: he COULD save Orin... but he ultimately can't bring himself to. This change is also big as it adds more moral greyness to Seymour: BOTH let the man die, but Seymour in the musical thinks it over more. Let's it set in more.
WHile I prefer the theater version... I still love both scenes and for what it adds to Seymour: it's forever a question of "did he let orin die on purpose or simply got too nervous to decide and the time ran out?" In both versions the guy simply.. can't pull the trigger.. but is letting Orin die a horrible death any better? is it REALLY Seymour's right to kill the guy? It makes the world better.. but was that his call? I like that the musical dosen't really answer these questions. Seymour feels GUILT.. but for what, for wanting audrey and clearing the way or for killing someone? For how orin died? All that's clear is there's no blood on his hands.
After this we get a stunning scene of Seymour feeding Audrey II. The stage version is excellent, with shadowed lighting as seymour throws the parts in. I really love the OZ version though, as he throws in a jazzy instrumental of mean grene mother from outer space... and some horrifying laughter as Seymour throws him parts wrapped up. Originally the parts were NOT wrapped up but the MPAA took issue with this.
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Can't imagine why.
So with this we enter act 2 and finally get past our last cut full song, Closed for Renovations. It's cute and it exists, that's about it.
So the store's doing better, Seymour's star's rising and he only has nightmares from guilt every OTHER night.
He's not the only one as Audrey has a jolt of guilt from Orin's death. How varies, with the movie version talking to the cops and the musical version getting a far more heartbreaking jolt: Seymour wearing a jacket like his to try and impress her.. only for the ptsd and guilt to get to her. Audrey WANTED him gone.. and thus fears this is her fault. Seymour, who knows exactly who made him plant food comforts her.
This leads to one of the shows best numbers and one of it's signatures. It's also one of the few that's really not that diffrent between versions: Oz simply adds a sunset for a nice cinematic touch. IT's a tender, genuine romantic ballad between Audrey and Seymour finally confessing to one another and confriming their better than their brains give them credit for. Can relate. It's tender, well done and REALLY shows off Greene and Moranis' vocal range. The two REALLY hit the high notes, ESPECIALLY Greene. While Somewhere That's Green let her show off a little this is a whole damn parade of her vocal talents. It's nice, warm.. and very sad given what's about to happen in 2/3 versions of this story.
Though what happens next no matter the version isn't exactly chipper as Mr. Mushink confronts Seymour. And this.. is one of the biggest changed scenes in the whole musical and those changes are deeply important. In both Mushnik has figured out he killed orin the film version saw Seymour hacking and slashing up the corpse, the musical version got a call seymour had a bag there and saw red spots on the linoleium.
While those are still similar enough what seperates the Mushniks is intent: despite his earlier greed, Gravis GENUINELY wants to help Seymour in the play, begging him to come tell the cops his side and part of him clearly not beliving Seymour did it or if he did, he had a good reason.
The film version.. is the utter bastard we're used to. He holds Seymour at gunpoint and offers to let Seymour run away if he gives him the plant.. framing it as helping but really just wanting the money. One is a suprise show of decency.. the other is exactly what you'd expect, but with Garendia still giving Mushnik a nice tinge of clear horror at what his surrogate son has done. Either way it drives home how far Seymour's sunk, with Audrey before this showing the consequences. He killed a man..a nd he dosen't get to walk away.
Or does he? After all Twoey would prefer the more manipulatable person and thus sings to Seymour to feed Mushnik to him What I like is no matter the version, it's ambigious if Audrey II is actually communicating with Seymour.. or it's simply the Audrey II in his head. Mushink dosen't HEAR Audrey II but is that artistic license or is what's about to happen all seymour?
Well how MUCH it's Seymour depends on the version and it's something that hurts the original ending of the film: In the play.. Seymour is fully responsible. Twoey's talking him into it sure.. but Seymour tells Mushnik to look into the plant for the money. Which is stupid, and a nice takeaway from the original film, sure, but he still actively lead Mushnik there.
In contrast in the film... Seymour's at gunpoint, nervous and reluctantly backs him up to tooey, and is geninely unsure of how to tell him how to care, drawing it out.. and once again making it hard to tell if Seymour simply got nervous and Twoey took advantage or Semyour led him.
It's a key part of the film version; Seymour's guilt is way more ambiguous, which makes him more sympathetic. It's hard to tell how much is just making the wrong decision under pressure, and how much is intetnional. He also shows way more guilt.
Where Do I Sign?
What dosen't help is that both versions of the film cut out something important, the bridge of "The Meek Shall Inheret". The Meek Shall Inheret is a number I love, as Seymour's fame rises.. but as shown by Moranis' deft acting, it's eating him alive as the guilt is. And the bridge makes this clear.. but also makes him once and for all acountable.
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Now did Oz go a bit TOO hard on adapting this bit? Fuck yes. I don't even know exactly what i'm looking at. There's a good bit or too like the bleeding painting of mushnik.
What's important is the singing and my GOD does moranis fucking kill it. This is easily his best vocal performance in the film..a nd it got left to the soundtrack. A real shame even if I do GET cuting this goofy version, if not you know, simply reshooting it. You don't NEED Audrey hugging a plant. Or plant seymour.. or most of this. The vines are a nice touch tho.
What's needed.. is Seymour's moment of weakness. WIth Orin, he simply acted too slowly and let a bad person die by his own hubris. With Mushnik, it was a moment of weakness or a moment of stress. Both left men dead and both aren't something he can walk back and will always carry with him.
The question is.... does Seymour give into the plant or fight back, does he KILL the beast before it grows and loose everything to do the right thing or selfishly give in? IT's the latter.. that seals Seymour's fate. That little last speck of insecurity and self hatred, that tiny voice that convinces him Audrey loved him for the plant and not who he is. And that's.. how Audrey II wins.
And leaving that out meant he couldn't POSSIBLY win. Which brings us to our finales.
Schrodinger's Audrey
The leadup is the same: with his guilt spiraling , Seymour asks Audrey to run away with him and get married, leaving Audrey II behind. The stage version.. runs on plot contrivance. Up to this point it's well plotted and the actual tragic finale is a heartbreaker.. but how we get there is
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Okay so Seymour talks to Audrey about running away.. IN FRONT OF TWOEY. The one person he shoudln't. And it's not like the play dosen't have an alleyway set or they can't just dim the lights so it's implied he's not in the shop. I get the final plant puppet is MASSIVE but you COULD hide it. even just have Seymour throw a sheet over him.
Then while he's getting Twoey some sirloin, Audrey comes by because she can't sleep. That's it. The entire tragic ending.. happens because of stupidity and concidence. And seymor's hubris and weak spine, but the fact the last 15 minutes happen because of this just. .baffles me. The play is so good otherwise, honest, and the rest of the ending is great. But this one part just.. astounds me in both how flimsy it is and how it's never been re-written. WHy wouldn't you?
So Twoey tricks Audrey into getting him some water. She's nervous and senses something's off... but sadly not before Twoey eats her alive. And it's with that action the ending snaps back into the quality of the rest of the show, as Seymour comes in to save her.. but it's too late. His actions have had a consequence and his refusal to try and kill Tooey while he still could... cost him the only good thing in his life that didn't come with strings attached and never had. Audrey, selfless and kind as always, asks to be fed to the plant, not realizing what Seymour has become or what he's done and simply wanting to be with him somewhere tha'ts green. And to their credit while Twoey is a monster... in both this version and the film, he let's Seymour gently place her inside, honoring her sacrifice.
Seymour is left a mess after this, and only snaps out of his suicidal spiral when a salesman offers to make MORE Audrey II's... and thus Seymour gets the picture: The plant wants to conquer the world.As brilliantly put in the film in one of my faviorite parts in the whole thing.
Seymour: Every household in america, thousands of ya eating, that's what you had in mind all along isn't it?
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Seymour: We're not talking about one Hungry Plant Here, we're talking about world conquest
Audrey II: And I wanna thankkkkkk youuuuuuu
It sells that this is SEYMOUR'S fault.. and in the play at least.. it's too late. He made the wrong choice... and it's too late to save the world.. or himself. Despite every attempt, despite going into the plant to kill it.. Seymour dies. THe plant gets sold to every supermarket in the world... and as "Don't Feed the Plants" plays, we learn everyday jerks like Seymour bought the deal. The world is doomed... and evne if the chorus tells us "we still have a chance" it dosen't seem likely.
And this ending.. is fantastic. It's a well needed aseop: that ANYONE can do horrible things with the right motivation. It's probably less shocking nowadays in the true crime boom built off that premise, but even then most people watching that stuff think "Naht hat isn't me". The point of the show is ... no it could be. Seymour isn't a HORRIBLE person, he isn't pure evil... but he still let two people die horrible deaths because it was easy and backed down from the hard path... and paid the price. Actions have consequences, and doing horrible things to get ahead just isn't worth it. It's not worth loosing your soul to feed the plant.
So that leads us to the film which infamously has TWO endings. The original was a variant of this one, the other something diffrent Both start the same way though: Frank fixes one of the few problems with the play by.. not having Seymour be a complete putz. He makes the plans to flee where he thinks Tooey isn't watching, in the Alley, and tries to sneak out, then does the sirloin thing as a compromise, clearly planning to leave after that. And rather than hapinstance.. it's Twoey that kicks off the finale. Seymour's going to renege on their deal? Well that's just fine.. then he's no longer of use.. and neither is Audrey. So he calls her over and reveals himself, with a truly nice shot from her apartment across the street as we see the plant grinning. She's certainly feeling uneasy.. but her kindness and trusting nature make it easy to see why she tries to feed the plant some water when asked.... and ends up lunch.
This is where the two endings split. A Schrodinger's Audrey if you will: She's not alive OR dead despite the obvious implications towards the latter while being eaten.. i'ts only when she's pulled out can you tell which ending you have: if her wedding dress is clean, it's the theatrical cut, if it's blood i'ts the original.
So before we talk about the different endings, you have to ask
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Most films have test screenings: these are a way for studios to see if they have a hit on their hands or arbitrarily bury a movie, gage audience reactions, see what might need to be cut or what needs to be reshot. These aren't a bad thing entirely as sometimes testing can really help a film.
In this case it did and it didn't. The film was a cinch to get raitings for most of it... laughter, hollering. It was a crowd pleaser... until we get here. Until they kill Audrey then Seymour. Hearts are broken and the bad guys win.. and no one was happy with them getting only 16 percent liking it. Oz suggested another test.. and same result.
So while he wasn't happy about it, as the original ending had a lot of expensive puppets, minitures and fit more aseop wise.. he changed it so the film would get released.
It was then.. that the original ending was lost. All frank had was a black and white workprint which he DID put on the dvd.. till Giffen told him to take it off and said "Oh we'll just put the color one on" now where did I put it..
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Yeah he didn't have it and it still frustrates me the ending was mostly lost. Thankfully a fan happened to have the original print and it was restored in 2013, but for most of my life the theatrical ending WAS the ending. I only saw the original one in a lifestream someone was doing around halloween and in the janky workprint.
So on paper it'd be obvious with ending is better: The original, the director's intended vision. But it's just.. not that simple. The hard truth is , as much as I love this film NEITHER ending completely works. Both are good.. but neither COMPLETELY fit the film Oz made
The original is , as said, close to the plays: Audrey is pulled out and Ellen green acts her heart out as she asks to be fed to the plant. If ther'es one big tragedy to this ending not getting in it's that Greene didn't get her oscar for this scene. God damn.
So Seymour decides to unalive himself out of guilt, only to meet the sales guy, realize tooey's plan and go to stop him. We also get one line that isn't in the thetrical cut "Your a monster and so am I" it shows tha tunlike the musical.. Seymour has realized their both monsters.. but only one is getting out of here. He has to do the right thing even if he dies.
He tries his best as we get one of the best numbers int he musical, my clossseeee second faviorite mean green mother from outer space as Audrey II talks about how badass he is in one long, awesome villian song, one of the best in existance. He easily beats Seymour. Ashman and Menkin made this for the film, to get nominated for best original song, which worked. They lost somehow but hey, points for trying. MGMFOS is a banger, and one of the musicals best in any medium, nad i'm glad stage productions added it in as damn is it fun. IT's also a puppetry feast as the giant final puppet moves, grooves and has little backups. it's a truly awesome musical moment and a spectcale for the eys, a deserving finale
And it's also... why this ending dosen't quite work. In the play Seymour goes down swinging and while still likeable, wasn't the best person by the end. His death went down easier. Movie Seymour showed WAY more visable guilt, being wracked with it and while he tried to dodge it it was clear it was eating him alive... and without that bridge, without that one moment of weakness... he comes off less as someone who willingly sold out to twoey after the two murders, and more as somone whose swept up in the tide of all he ever wanted but desperate to escape it as he knows the price tag is caked in blood. And as bad as he was.. some of that blood was his father figures.
As a result a 3 minute musical number where Seymour is humilaited AFTER the guy nearly killed himself AFTER having to give up the love of his life, knowing it was all his fault she's dead... is a bit much. It's karmic overkill. Seymour dosen't deserve to walk off scott free, he has to live with what he's done. But OZ both made Seymour way more sympathetic.. and then piled on way more punishment. I'm again not saying Seymour deserves to get the hell out of this unscathed, he let two horrible things happen and needs to stop the monster he created. But this was overkill
It dosen't help that after Seymour's death, and the plants taking over... the ending drags on for a WHILE. The director's cut does have GREAT puppet and miniture work that's just outright wasted in the theatrical cut, cool shots of the plants taking over the world. It's neat stuff. But it's also not edited like it probably would hav ebeen had it been propertly released, so it's about 30% good content and 70% the plants fucking shit up while laughing a lot. It's cool at first but after a while you just want it to end. And the end of Audrey II bursting through the screen is awesome but I GET why the test audiences hated this: It's not just the bad guy winning, that's a horror staple, i'ts that he basically rubs your nose in it for 15 minutes. The ending isn't terrible and I do get why people prefer it, as THEMATICALLY it's better.. but I wish we could get a cut with it edited down. otherwise while still a LOT of overkill for seymour, it'd flow way better.
So that means the focus group ending is 100% better right?
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Yeah while I like the theatical cut ending a touch more... it's far from perfect. It's not bad: Seymour rescues Audrey, realizes what's going on from Jim Belushi (And we get the iconic line "IF you two kids would just stop singing for a minute"), and goes to confront the plant one on one to atone for what he's done. It helps that while we don't get the great your a monster and so am I line, we do get Seymour going in. He COULD run from the thing.. but he knows running is what got him into this. being passive, not helping anyone when he could. It's only actoin that will get him out
Mean Green Mother works WAY better as a villianous last stand than as a victory lap. It's still boastful, still awesome and Seymour is still outmatched.. but it works better when it's not "Someone whose genuinely trying to atone for horrible things getting battered" and more "A hero barely surviving against the beast he created. " Context helps.
It's HOW Twoey goes out that makes this kinda weak, as is Seymour just.. getting away from it. Feed the plants and you can escape the consequences of your actions! You can just bluescreen them to death and get your somewhere tha'ts green..e ven if it comes with a strange and inresting plant.
Thematically the ending dosen't QUITE work, changing it more to "accepting personal responsiblitY" than "your actoins have consequences and you can't just avoid them less they destroy you". But honestly.. it dosen't hurt the film bad enough. The changes to Seymour mean we root for him more. We're probably not supposed to, but Rick Moranis is just too damn likeable and sympaathetic and portrays the guilt too well. But the new aseop "When you do a bad thing, you need to own up to and face it not run away from it or claim you could've done nothing" DOES really hit in an age where many a person will deny they did anything when their ugly past takes root. Seymour did fuck up, but he coudln't exactly tell the cops, and while it took a push risked his life to undo his mistake. Again it's far from perfect, but for an ending that had to be made on the fly it works well and for the film Frank Oz made.. it works perfectly.
So that's Little Shop of horrors... and as should be obvious.. I love both vresions. The movie more, ending issues and all. It has phenominal performances, wonderful numbers and top notch effects. If you haven't seen it and this hasn't convinced you, I don't know what else I could possibly say except.. thanks for reading.
Next Time: We finish this retrospective with the piece of little shop history we all like to forget.
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spermwhalescantcum · 6 months
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random Dream SMP fanfics that I have read
These big blobs of texts are just descriptions of the fics. None of this are works by me, credits to their original writer. ( also, idk what happened to the format, just live with it)
🩵Passerine ✅ 100/10 (blujamas, thcscus(bluejamas) )   - SBI, Royal AU, Cannon character death, god AU, Dream Antagonist, Wilbur Centric, Family AU, SO MUCH PLOT
 “I understand. You heard the place you loved was in trouble, so you came back, but I don’t—I just—why didn’t you take me?” Here it was, at last. Catharsis, or something close to it. “I would have hunted them down with you, Philza, the people who did that to your town. I would have given you your vengeance on a silver platter. I would have given you the world.”
Philza didn’t look guilty. He just looked tired. “I didn’t hunt them down, though.”
//
Or, that fic where Techno and Phil are old immortals, and Tommy and Wilbur are decidedly... not.
This fic is a must read and an all-time classic in the Dream SMP fandom. It is not bold to say this is one of the best fanfiction that you will find on ao3. 
Shrike  ✅ 9/10  (blujamas, thcscus(bluejamas) ) -  Passerine pre-sequel, God AU, Royal AU, Dream Antagonist, Dream team, Georgenotfound Centric, SO MUCH PLOT
“You know, you might be the only thing alive that knows my name. I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping, but it must have been long enough for people to have forgotten.” The stag finished the last of the berries and stared at George wonderingly. George chuckled, plucked another handful to offer to it, and continued, “I’d gone to sleep tired. And I wake up tired. Tell me, do you think that’s fair?”
The stag, because it was a stag, did not reply.
But George didn’t mind that, either.
//
Or, that fic about passerine!Dream Team, but before passerine.
This fic is good though in my opinion not as good as Passerine. The primary plot in the story is centred around more emotional than physical problems I would say. This can be read anytime, either before or after Passerine, but I recommend reading it after so things can make a bit more sense. 
The world forgetting by the world forgot🟡 8/10 (bonesandthebees) - SBI, Dream Antagonist, Hero/villain AU, Tommy Centric, Adoption AU , Bench Trio, Magic AU
“Something has been stolen from us,” Thanatos said, his wings puffing up as he spoke. “Something that is very important to us. And we are fairly certain that the person who stole this thing of ours is in this very crowd.”
Dream tensed beside Tommy as the crowd broke out into murmurs. Eyes were darting towards the different heroes in the crowd, the benefactors no doubt assuming that the culprit had to be a hero.
“Like we said, we haven’t crashed your party to cause trouble. But we want this thing returned to us, and we won’t hesitate to take extreme measures to get what we want.”
or, Tommy was a lot of things: a newly debuted hero sidekick, an amnesiac, and a former kidnapping victim of the Syndicate.
Tommy didn't actually remember that last one though. That was just what Dream told him.
Only weeks after his hero debut, the Syndicate announces they are searching for something, and Tommy knows it has to be him. The scariest part? If they find him, Tommy will have no clue what to expect, because the Syndicate might know him, but he has no memories of them.
So he can't let them find him. No matter what.
Of course they end up finding him anyway.
This fic has a great character development for Tommy in my opinion, from denial and all. This is one of the Hero/Villian AUs that is different from the other. 
🩵One Day I met a God ( Turns Out, He’s an Idiot )🟡 11/10 ( Sunshine_3)  - SBI, Tommy centric, God AU, Temporary Main Character Death, Minor plot, Adoption AU 
Every year, the Tournament of the Gods is held to determine who is worthy to gain the favour of the universe's deities.
This year, Tommy is determined to win, to be the youngest person ever to claim a victory.
Not because he wants to be blessed or anything. He just thinks it's funny.
--------
An AU in which Tommy Innit is just a mortal vibin' and doing his thing and the rest of SBI are gods who have claimed him as their favourite.
Series
This fic is one of my favourite, there is fluff and plot balanced out and is very fast paced if you just can't handle 50 chapters of build up like me. This is highly recommended 
🩵Reborn, Relive, Repeat ✅ 11/10  ( Aria_Cinabun) - Phoenix/avian AU, SBI, Dream Antagonist, Tommy Centric , Adoption AU , Bench Trio, SO MUCH PLOT
There once was an empire built on prosperity and promises of a better future.
There once was a young prince, wingless yet, who stared out the window of his room and willed the world to go in his favour.
There once were two brothers and a father who despaired in the death of their youngest.
There once was a young boy, and in his bloodline lay that of the Phoenix - and when he gained his wings, they burned with the same fire that shrivelled in his heart as he lay in his cell, listening to the captors who lay on the other side of the thin bars.
There once was a grown-up prince, a kid no longer, whose fire was long burnt out, whose hope had long vanished with that of his kin. Who sat in his cell and listened to Death’s calls as his feathers turned to dust around him.
There once was another boy, another prince - another half.
There once was a tattoo of a bee that shone golden on his wrist and dreams of laughter that rung in his ears of people long forgotten. This is his tale.
🩵Of Wilder Things ❌ 11/10 ( itsultraviolet) -Fae/Fairies AU, SBI , Phil Centric, Fluff, Minor plot , Adoption AU 
There are a million and one deadly things living in the woods outside of Phil’s door.
Some of them are poisonous. Some of them have wickedly sharp claws. Some of them have hooves made for trampling or mouths full of teeth made for ripping.
Most of them are magic. Most of them can kill him without sparing a second thought.
But that has never stopped Phil.
Or: Phil the human and his chaotic fae family
His Curse of Binding ✅ 8/10 ( orphan_account) - God AU, Tommy Centric, SBI, Fluff, Reincarnation AU, Greek Mythology AU, Temporary Main Character Death, Adoption AU 
Tommy had lived and died as Theseus, Icarus, Orpheus and Sisyphus. But all he wanted to be was free.
In which Tommy Soot, originally born in 1509, is cursed to be reborn, to never reach adulthood unless he figured out the Greek myth of his lifetime. He had one rule of not allowing himself to get attached to people but he would have never guessed that a foster family of the creator of Minecraft, an anime stan and a Soundcloud musician would break that rule.
~ SBI Foster AU but with Greek mythology.
🩵Tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillain ✅ 11/10 (bonesandthebees) - SBI, Dream Antagonist, Hero/villain/vigilante AU, Tommy Centric, Family Fluff, Adoption AU , Bench Trio, Hybrid AU
“W-What do you- I mean can I- are you here to rob us?” The person managed to stammer out.
Siren snorted. “No. I’m just here to order some food.”
“Wh-What about him?” The cashier asked, glancing at Tommy. “Did you- did you kidnap him?”
“I mean… yeah, let’s go with that in case this ends up on the news,” Siren shrugged, looking back at Tommy. “I kidnapped you, right?”
“Yeah, sure,” Tommy agreed, knowing that if they said he was kidnapped, it would keep people from getting suspicious of why he was seen in public with Siren. “Anyway, can I get the chicken nuggets happy meal, with a coke?”
or, how Tommy—who is not a hero, or a villain, or even a vigilante—saves the life of one of L'Manberg's most feared supervillains, and accidentally ends up becoming the resident doctor for every supervillain in town (and maybe gets a family along the way too).
Tommyinnt’s unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death  🟡 8/10  ( eneliii)  - SBI, Dream Antagonist, Hero/villain/vigilante AU, Tommy Centric, Family Fluff, Adoption AU , Bench Trio, Hybrid AU, everything is a dream, tragedy, sad ending
“I uh,” Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. “I think your powers are broken? It’s not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don’t feel insecure. Everyone’s power stop working sometimes… I think.” 
Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen?
“Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes,” Tommy hisses, “Well um,” He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, “This was like super fun, but I’m - I’mma head out.”
or,
in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing.
or or,
a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.
Bones in the Ocean 🟡  8/10 ( bunflower) - SBI, Dream Antagonist, Pirate AU, Technoblade Centric
“The Angel of Death, the ferryman of the Styx, the terror of the western seas. One of the most feared captains ever to sail, and yet, I have to wonder… how did a man like you end up all on his own? We searched the area where you were found—not another soul in sight. So,” He fixes him with a long look, allowing the silence to hover like a dark cloud, the words rolling off of his tongue with all the venom and smugness he can muster, “—tell me, Philza. Where is your crew?”
OR: Technoblade is a naval captain, and Phil his unwilling prisoner. Somehow, they manage to come out of it as friends in the end.
🩵I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight 🟡 11/10 ( sircantus)  -  Family Fluff, SBI, Adoption AU, No plot, Royal AU, Tommy Centric, Minor plot, Bench Trio
In which Phil has created the Antarctic Empire from the ground up and takes in Techno and Wilbur along the way, and raises them while also ruling his kingdom. Tommy, sixteen, lives with Tubbo in an orphanage, the two of them running around in the cold streets of their town.
After a hectic day of getting separated from Tubbo, getting into a few fights, and ending up in an entirely new town, he comes across Phil, and saves him from an assassination attempt by smashing a plate over someone's head.
So then both Techno and Wilbur decide to see who this kid is, and Tommy sure is endearing, in the way that the first time they spy on him, he starts a fight in an alleyway over a bag of cookies.
(and then Tommy basically gets kidnapped into the royal family, but like, legally, y’know?)
Stay under my wing ✅ 8/10 ( sircantus)- Zombie Apocalypse AU, Technoblade Centric, Family Fluff, Adoption AU 
"Wilby says that- that if a stranger ever tries to grab me, I can bite them." Tommy nods, giving a little glare towards Techno and his bitten hand.
"Okay." Technoblade says slowly. "But don't bite me."
"No, I'm gonna bite you."
---
SBI Zombie apocalypse AU, in which Tommy is a little kid who's been separated from Wilbur. While Wilbur is on a desperate search for his little brother with Phil, Tommy stumbles across Technoblade, who is the definition of 'no chill' in the zombie apocalypse.
Techno accidentally gains a new little brother.
The skies we seek 🟡 6/10 ( Batmansmom) - Dream Antagonist, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, Technoblade/Tommy Centric, Adoption AU, Family Dynamics, SBI, Bench Trio, Hybrid AU
***
"Techno?"
"Yeah Tommy?"
"What does the sky look like?"
Techno paused, the question, like most of Tommy's questions made his heart ache for reasons he didn't understand.
"I'll show it to you one day" he doesn't know why he says that, he knows by now not to make promises he doesn't know he can keep.
"Really?"
"I promise" and he swears to himself he'll find a way to keep it.
***
Or Techno is a hero on a mission that quickly gets derailed when he meets Tommy, a boy who's spent his whole life locked in one room with only Dream, the biggest villain of the century, for company.
Consequences of the Dead 🟡 6/10 ( Libis) - Wilbur Centric, Alternate Universe Travelling AU, Adoption Au, Family Dynamics, SBI, Dream Antagonist, Hybrid AU
Wilbur rolls his eyes. “I’m just patching you up out of some misplaced sense of guilt or nostalgia or whatever; after this, you can try and arrest me again as much as you want-” “Nostalgia?” Tommy interrupts. He squints at the figure, all confusing tangents and cynical jokes, the bird still perched on his head. “What, do I know you or something?” Wilbur’s face darkens. He reaches out a hand, rubbing absently at a long slash going through his trench coat, a tear in the seams of it all. Tommy stills. “No,” the villain finally mutters with a brittle laugh. “No, you don’t.�� …
Or: Superhero AU in which Wilbur, upon waking up in an alternate universe, accidentally becomes a villain. Maybe not a very good one, though - he remains insanely, outrageously protective over the very heroes (and vigilante) hunting him down.
I’ll Fall, you catch me, okay? ❌ 7/10  ( sircantus)- Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Minor Plot, No Antagonist, Bench Trio SBI, Multiple POVs, Alternate Universe
“Jump!” Phil yells, holding his arms out.
“No!” Tommy shrieks, and Phil can hear the way Wilbur’s struggling to hold back a laugh, Tommy’s voice nearly cracking at the end. “I’ll die if I fall!”
“You won’t die.” Phil drawls, grinning and flying a bit closer. “I’ll catch you.”
“What if you don’t, though?!”
“Mate, even if I don’t, you’re just going to hit water, and you’ll be fine.”
“But then I’ll be wet.”
or
5 times where Phil was there to catch someone + 1 time where someone was there to catch him
Do Us Part ❌ ( SilverWing15) 6/10 - Tommy Centric, Minor Family Dynamics, Minor Family Fluff, Ghost AU, Necromancy AU, SBI, Bench Trio
Tommy takes one step back, another. Technoblade keeps advancing, like a tidal wave, like a storm, like a mountain come crashing down on them. Unstoppable, and destructive. He has come to destroy all that Tommy holds dear. He has come to kill Tommy. Dream’s hand rises to his throat, with a flick of his wrist, he drops his cloak to the ground. “Go, Tommy,” he says over his shoulder.
OR: Tommy is the lost prince of the Antarctic Empire and he would really like to *remain* lost since his family tried to sacrifice him to some creepy necromancy ritual when he was two. Dream has kept him safe for all his life, but he can't do that any more. Since he's you know. Dead.
AKA: Necromancy AU
All Screams Sound the Same 🟡 7/10 (BlueSkysTheLimit)  - Assassin AU, Tommy Centric, Temporary Main Character Death, Dream Antagonist, Royal AU, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Bench Trio, SBI, Adoption Au, Hybrid AU
Tommy used to be an average street kid: starved, hungry, and practically half dead. One day, however, he heard of a guild who practically took in street kids- fed them, clothed them, gave them a place to sleep- and the offer was too good to pass up. All he had to do was work at the guild!
Now, a couple years later, Tommy is one of the best assassins in the Essempi guild, but his mentor sends him on his hardest mission yet: "Kill the royal family of the Antarctic Empire on the night of their annual ball, October 31st." Tommy takes the missions as a challenge, but little does he know that this mission will be unlike any other he's completed before and will change his life forever.
All Good Devils Masquerade Under the Light🟡 7/10 (kyoromii) - Vampire Au, Possessive SBI ( but SBI nonetheless), Bench trio, Minor Plot, No Antagonist, Adoption Au ( forced ), Dark SBI, Tommy Centric, Major Character death x 2
Tommy just wants to make ends meet in the dystopian city streets of Manburg. Alongside his two best friends Tubbo and Ranboo.
Unbeknownst to him, a trio of vampires have already claimed him as their own, and a seemingly harmless stroll around the city may mark the end of life as he knows it.
or
Eternity raises no saints.
🩵The Children’s rebellion ✅ 11/10  ( Aria_Cinabun)- Star Wars AU, Space AU, Adoption Au, Tommy Centric, TRAUMA, SBI, Bench Trio, SO MUCH PLOT, 
His name was Tommy Innes, and he was born to touch the stars.
Of course, touching the stars was going to have to wait, because he'd lost that dream the moment his parents had died when he was ten years old—the moment he had watched that starship explosion and felt a bit of his heart die with them. He'd lost that dream when he was transported to prison and then to a place called Pogtopia.
He'd lost that dream when he watched hundreds of children starve on the streets of Pogtopia. When he and two friends become the lone survivors of the Red Planet's Genocide. When they were rescued, and he was captured again.
But maybe—maybe one day, he would regain that dream. Maybe he would hunt down the mass murderer that had executed his friends and gain his revenge—but that day was not now, and now he sat in a prison and stared at the faraway stars.
Perhaps there would be people that he could call family again. People he would see again—people whom he had lost years ago. One day.
Because he was an Avian, born to be forever alone amongst broken stars.
And Avians did not fall unless they wanted to.
or
a science fiction fic about rebellion
Extension 🟡 8/10  ( dancewiththewaves) - Blind Tommy Centric, Royal Au, Adoption AU, Minor plot, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, SBI, Bench Trio, BOUNDING , Magic AU
"That was Floaty. Or at least, that's what I'm calling him. Fucking kid won't tell us his name," Dream carried on like nothing had happened, and from beside Techno, Wilbur started wheezing like he was dying. "I think he's twelve or thirteen. Wind magic, he's quick and real snarky, very malnourished, blind-"
"Wait, blind?" Techno peered harder at the communicator. Wilbur stopped laughing. "How the hell is he able to slip by you then?"
"Uses the air currents like feelers, I think," Dream's breath was coming heavier as he carried on running. "Gets an idea of where things are in relation to him. He doesn't always get it right, sometimes there are cracks in things big enough to feel like an escape route and he slams into a wall. Or he doesn't angle close enough to the ground and trips on things. He's uh-" Dream flipped the communicator around, and Techno blinked as Bad flew through the air, screeching the whole way. "He's slippery."
---
TLDR: Blindinnit has wind magic and gets himself adopted by the Antarctic Empire's royal family.
By your Ancient Names 🟡 8/10 ( Charnel )  - Tommy Centric, God AU, ( I would say Middle Ages AU ), Forced adoption AU, Dream Antagonist, Mainly Just Tommy and Technoblade
“My gold.” Techno spoke, thousands of voices echoing in his words. Whispering and chattering. His calloused hand reaching up, dragging along the blood that was dripping from Tommy’s neck. Dripping down and burning away in the flames consuming the roots that held him.
The same hand that had fed him and given him shelter, as involuntary as it had been, was gently placed at the back of his skull. Techno’s thumb pulling across the golden earring that now felt like an anchor dragging him below the surface of a pool of magma.
Wearing Techno’s face, the Blood God grinned at him.
Tommy did not regret punching him.
***
Td;lr: Tommy unwillingly takes refuge into the hold of a banished god.
Turn of the Tide ❌ ( SilverWing15) 6/10 - Tommy Centric, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Dream Antagonist, Hybrid AU, SBI
Tommy’s fins twitch at the mention of Dream’s ancestors. Dream talks about them a lot, how they made their fortune hunting down mer pods, how they were cruel and greedy. Nothing like Dream is. They’ve both overcome their roots, he says.
Tommy is nothing like the wild mer out in the ocean, who spend their lives scraping by just to survive, who kicked him out of the pod when he was a baby because he was too small. He’s also better than the pit mer, who can’t overcome their wild instincts and knows nothing but fighting.
He’s different from them, he’s better than them. He’s Dream’s. //// OR: Change is like the tide, when it comes, you can only sink or swim. You would think that a mer would be better at keeping afloat.
Between the sun and the stars🟡  7/10  ( Anonymous ) - Trauma, Space AU, Hybrid AU, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, SBI, Bench Trio, Tommy Centric
Recent escapees from The Compound, Tommy and Tubbo are living their life in the slums of Hypixel, making their money by thieving and taking jobs on the blackmarket. But when they accidentally find their way onto the spaceship of Wilbur Soot, commander and heir to the Antarctic Empire, their carefully concealed secrets are bound to come out. Their time at the Compound being one of them…
Or, the very traumatized tommyinnit and tubbo underscore are forced into a found family arc against their will. (SPACE AU)
Let’s play a game 🟡 9/10 ( Aria_Cinabun) - Elementalist AU, Tommy centric, Dream Antagonist, Family Dynamics, Minor Family Fluff, Forced adoption, SBI, Minor Bench trio interactions, BIG BRAIN TOMMYINNIT
Tommy was once a slave. That's gone now - shoved in his past with the memories of blood and gore and death. He wants to forget who he was; what he has to do to survive.
Of course, the Elementalists will always come back to haunt him. They aren't the ones who killed his mother, but they're close enough.
And now he and his brother have been dragged into the mess, as Elementalists with their own, separate covens, to find the Pit - the place where he'd lived and killed and hurt for the first twelve years of his life.
His coven can't know. Can't know who he really is, what he can really do. Can't know anything about his past.
He doesn't want a coven full of Elementalists who don't trust him; one of whom he's pretty sure despises him. He doesn't want that life.
He wants the life of a pickpocket, on the streets, because nobody questions street kids, and nobody comes asking about his past and pushes him to tell his secrets that he holds closest inside.
Tubbo tries to tell him to trust people.
But trust is how you die.
Mayday, mayday, mayday🟡 (always_an_axious_mess)  7/10 - Space AU ( possibly Star Wars as well but I haven't watched Star Wars yet), Tommy Centric, SBI
“Mayday mayday mayday, this is Ship 268454, CCS Clara, does anyone copy?”
After an accident that he isn’t even sure how occurred, Junior Crewmember Tommy Innit is stuck out in the dead zone of space with a dead crew and on a damaged ship. No nearby inhabited planets. No nearby stations. Nothing.
He’s billions of kilometres away from any hope of rescue, and has to figure out a way to safety. Not only that, for the first time in his life, he’s completely alone.
All in a day’s work 🟡 7/10 (spiromachia)  - Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Dream Antagonist, Hybrid AU, SBI, Tommy Centric, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, Bench Trio
Most crime fighters are heroes, superpowered people who were trained at a young age to beat the bad guys and serve the everyman, born and raised to protect and save the lives of those who couldn't defend themselves. Pretty much every kid wanted to grow up to be a hero, obviously. Fame, fortune, fighting, it was every tiny child's dream, but only a select few were allowed to become heroes, especially not powerless ones.
And that was just Tommy's issue, he was powerless.
It seemed that everyone around him had some sort of quirk or superpower that made them stronger, that gave them incredible abilities like no other, but Tommy, arguably the kid who wanted to be a hero the most, was left untouched by luck.
But that didn't mean he couldn't help out. Far from it, in fact.
Or...
Tommy is a vigilante, kicking ass and fighting crime, but catches the attention of a few familiar faces.
Teach me how to say goodbye 🟡 8/10 ( Aria_Cinabun, taye_z-mcyt archive) )- Afterlife AU, Tommy Centric, Mainly Just Tommy and Technoblade
With his head held high, Tommy walked to his death. But man, was he willing to sacrifice himself for his nation.
He stood, bow in hand, staring down the man who caused him so much fear, so much anger, so much pain.
No hesitation was present as he pulled back the string, hoping to at least go out with a bang.
Or
Local Hamilton role-player dies and has to survive the afterlife.
A Magical Future ❌ 8/10 ( Aria_Cinabun) - MCC AU, Magic AU, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Family AU, Tommy Centric, SBI, Clingy Duo
He's eight when he starts seeing monsters, nine when he can see forward in time.
Tommy wants to be off with Techno and Phil and Wilbur, off adventuring.
'Course, he and Tubbo are too young.
Until they're not.
One Man’s Trash ( is another man’s brother) 🟡7/10 ( SilverWing15) -  SBI, Tommy Centric, Adoption AU , Hero/Villain/Vigilante AU, Family Dynamics, Magic AU
The kid is glaring down at him and eating a partially moldy apple like he’s daring Wilbur to come fight him for it. “What the fuck?” Wilbur says. The kid takes a huge chunk out of the apple and definitely doesn't chew it enough before he swallows. “You got a fucking problem, asshole?” “I mean...kind of?” Wilbur says. “There’s a child eating literal garbage in front of me so I feel like that’s a bit concerning.” “Shouldn’t you be robbing a bank or getting your ass kicked by superheroes?” “Shouldn’t you be in school?” The kid snarls wordlessly and chucks an empty carton from some chinese place at him. “Fuck off man. Forget this dump.” “What, you know a better one to eat from?” “I know one that doesn’t have a fucking weirdo supervillain in it!” The kid slams the lid of the dumpster down. Rude.
Or: It was only a matter of time before I did a superhero AU
Diasporas Blue ❌ 6/10 ( SilverWing15) - Werewolf/fae/vampire/harpy AU, Family Au, Adoption AU, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, Tommy Centric, SBI
See, the thing about werewolves, is they love family. They’re all about family. Their family. They’re not nearly as enthusiastic about some stray. Sure they’re more than their instincts, they can take in kids, but you start out on thin fucking ice and Tommy’s never been very good about being respectful. So he gets kicked out of a lot of packs. The other thing about werewolves is that they’re terrible fucking gossips. So getting kicked out of one pack is as good as getting kicked out of at least five or six of their closest neighbor-packs. Which is why Tommy is now stuck with fucking humans and their weird smelling house.
OR: Tommy is a werewolf in the foster care system. It's less uncommon than you'd think. What is uncommon is ending up in a house full of humans.
🩵Rogue ✅11/10 ( milk_tea24) - Dream Antagonist, Hybrid AU, SBI, Tommy Centric, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, Bench Trio, Magic AU, God AU
Tommy ran. He ran as fast as he could. He needed to leave. To be safe. And he thought he finally was. He made it out. Away from the monster who raised him. Tommy found friends and got a job. But he screwed everything up like he always does. Now what can he do but what he does best. Go Rogue. ______________________________
Or, Tommy escapes Dream, after being locked away by him for years and becomes a vigilante.
🩵Take this compass, follow it home ✅ 11/10 ( lightening_anon ) - Tommy centric, Adoption AU, Modern AU, Clingy Duo, SBI, Family dynamics, Family Fluff, Minor Plot
Tommy's a fuck up, he can't pay attention, and never sits still. He taps his hands, pushes people away, and has never had a best friend. He's a screwed up, forgotten kid lost in the foster system. He's also just been placed with a new family. Tommy knows how this goes, he never ends up staying long. After all, no one wants a fuck up like him.
Why would this house be any different?
-
Or: the obligatory sbi foster au, but with a focus on the neurodivergent kids that inevitably get lost in the system.
🩵No cause for concern  🟡 11/10 ( hedgehoggeryyy) -  Hybrid AU, SBI, Tommy Centric, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, Bench Trio, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, DISCONTINUED 
So maybe applying for a job at the heroes' base of operations when he could be arrested any moment for being an illegal vigilante wasn't Tommy's smartest move. But he gets to work with his idols — Ghostbur, the Blade, and Philza Minecraft, Angel of Death himself, just to name a few — how could he turn down that opportunity, honestly?
And keeping his two identities separate can't be that difficult, really. It'll all be a piece of cake.
---
or, tommyinnit just wanted to pay the rent and save people at the same time. things can't go his way for just once, can they?
***DISCONTINUED***
Nothing Sweeter ❌8/10 ( SilverWing15) - SBI, PURE FLUFF AHHHHHHHHHHHH, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, Tommy Centric
He’s doing it, he’s growing a watermelon. He hasn’t killed it, he hasn’t fucked it up. Phil chuckles softly, “good job.” He squeezes Tommy’s shoulder and Tommy had almost forgotten his hand was there. It's a warm weight, the way Wilbur’s hand used to be. Tommy doesn’t pull away from it. He just keeps looking down at the bud that’s going to be a watermelon. A watermelon he grew. That’s…insane. He’s never grown anything before. He kind of thought he was only capable of breaking things.
OR: Foster Family fic where the watermelons are a Metaphor
🩵Butterfly Reign ✅ 11/10 ( SilentTeyz) - Royal Au, Tommy Centric, SBI, Unfinished, Dream Antagonist
The royal family of the Antarctic empire isn’t exactly close.
Emperor Philza is always occupied; Tommy hasn’t seen Techno in months, and even if Wilbur is here, their relationship can be described to be strained at best.
The royal family doesn’t need to be close, however, it only needs to be balanced, like the pillars holding the country above their heads – as long as they are strong and steady, the Empire will be too. It’s the principle that held Tommy’s back straight and his shoulders broad through the years of hardships and trials of errors; through yet another formal meeting where his father’s gaze would look past him and where his brother’s words would be filled with poison that makes the deepest parts of his soul ache.
At that time, Tommy couldn't know that his family would find a replacement for him in the face of a commoner boy named Ranboo.
~🦋~
Tommy's family has replaced him. It's only fair that he gets to do the same.
Evermore ❌ 8/10 (rabiddog) - Tommy Centric, Dream Antagonist, SBI,  Disease AU?, Main character death? 
I’m a Healer, but… 🟡  7/10 ( yellowleader )  - Hybrid AU, SBI, Tommy Centric, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, Bench Trio, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, TRAUMA
Magic always comes with a price, which is why superpowers are the best evolution since bipedalism, and of all powers, healing is one of the rarest- and thus, healers are quickly stolen away by heroes the moment their powers are discovered.
Which is why the SBI, semi-immortal villains who can only die by injury, want their hands on one. So when a weird, loud, pushy teen shows up and offers to trade them a powerful healer in exchange for the smallest, simplest favour... how could they say no?
Too bad this won't be as easy as they think.
Burning sage doesn't keep you away 🟡 8/10 ( Anonymous ) - Fae AU, Kristin ( mumza ) centric, Minor SBI, Minor Family Fluff, FLUFF
With rumors pilling up around the village and Kristin's surprise encounter with a fae, she should have thought twice about living so close by the forest.
Or
Kristin meets a fae, life is never quite the same after that.
The stars and their children ✅ 8/10  (bonesandthebees) - Space AU, Royal AU, Dream Antagonist, Empires/Kingdoms AU, Science Fiction, Wilbur Centric, SBI, Minor dark SBI, Minor Family Fluff, Betrayal 
Yes. Wilbur had to bite his tongue to keep the answer from spilling out of his mouth, because yes he wanted more. Of course he wanted more. He wanted to be more than the bastard prince. He wanted to be more than a mistake his mother made before she married Tommy’s father.
But that wasn’t the role he had been cast for in his life.
“It doesn’t matter,” Wilbur said instead. “When Tommy turns eighteen he’ll be crowned King, and I will be his advisor. He’ll be a good king, I’ll make sure of it.”
or, as the bastard prince of the planet of Eldingvegr, Wilbur has always known he was never meant for greatness. That was his younger brother's destiny. Wilbur's job was simply to try and make sure Tommy could fulfil that destiny.
That becomes decidedly more difficult when the brothers are betrayed, and are forced to flee their home planet. With the Essempi Empire being one of the largest imperial powers in the universe, the only place that can offer them refuge from Emperor Dream is Zephys IV—capital planet of the Antarctic Empire, ruled by the ruthless Emperor Philza.
Icing those hurts 🟡 9/10 ( Drhair76, plantform) - Olympic AU, Modern AU, Dream smp members, emotional challenges, Tommy centric
“And everyone is so old,” Tubbo complains. Somehow, without them knowing about it, Tubbo’s managed to swipe a waffle and is chewing on it happily. Sapnap stifles a laugh. “Well, not everyone, I guess- the kid in our room is our age, I think. He might be younger.”
Wilbur perks up. “Does he ice skate?”
“Yeah, he does. He’s got these sick skates and everything.” Tubbo explains. “He’s quiet though. We tried talking to him, but…”
“But?”
Tubbo shrugs. "He's quiet. He doesn't talk much. I guess he's busy."
or, Tommy's made it to the Olympics for figure skating- he's the youngest contestant on the ice and he's the favor for the gold. He's supposed to be living the dream. So why is he still so unhappy? And why do all these hockey players and snowboarders care so much about him?
Series
In the Treetops 🟡 7/10  ( SilverWing15) - modern AU, Syndicate AU, SBI, Minor bench trio, Wings AU, Tommy Centric, Minor Family Fluff
“Sir!” Punz shouts in the distance, “think we’ve got something.”
Tommy hardly dares to breathe as Dream’s footsteps stalk across the hill to Punz’s side. Its Now or never.
Now or never.
He gets up and bolts. He makes it a solid ten steps before they spot him. The hounds are baying, he can hear them panting as they chase him.
The School is bounded on the eastern side by a deep gorge, just after the barbed wire fence that looms in front of him.
Any normal person would have a hell of a time getting past this.
Tommy isn’t a normal person, though. The School has ensured it.
He can hear the dogs behind him, catching up. If they catch him its all over.
Its now or never.
Fly or die.
Tommy leaps and unfurls his wings.
* Flowers from 1970 🟡8/10 (astronomika) - DNF, Dreamnotfound ship, Modern AU, Timetravle communication AU, DNF fluff
Who are you?" "Who are you?" They both asked at the same time, but the man answered first, "My name's Cl-Dream." "Dream?" George raised a brow. "It's a nickname. I don't want to give you my real name yet since you could be some government spy or something." George chuckled, "Well I'm George."
Dream asked, "So tell me about the future. Wait, does that sound nerdy? Hm, tell me about 2020."
Interpreter 🟡 8/10 ( SilverWing 15)  - Tommy centric, God AU, Royal AU, Seer/interpreter/power AU, Blessings, Wings, Dream Main Antagonist, Adoption AU
His father asks the gods for their favour, and Wilbur feels pain. It explodes across his brow as though he has been struck against the side of the altar, it wraps around his head like a crown of agony. His father asks the gods for their favour, and Wilbur screams.
His father asks the gods for their favour and Wilbur sees. . Wilbur opens his eyes and he is laying on the ground before the altar, his body is shaking, every muscle trembling, his wings are spread across the ground. His father’s hands are on his shoulders, Techno’s hand under his head. His father looks terrified.
His father asks the gods for their favour, and they grant it.
///
“Tommy?” Sam asks gently.
“I--I need help,” Tommy whispers.
“What’s the matter,” Sam asks, sitting up and turning so he’s facing Tommy, his elbows on his knees.
“I’m--A man took me here,” Tommy whispers. “He said I was an Interpreter, and he was gonna bring me to the Emperors, but I didn’t want to go.”
 Guitar Strings and Keyrings are What it Takes to Build a Home 🟡 ( Anonymous) - adoption AU, SBI, Minor Bench Trio, Family Fluff, Modern AU, Foster AU, Minor/no plot, character development 10/10, technoblade centric
Techno was adopted by Phil when he was 12 years old.
He'd been enjoying his morning before Phil came to him asking if he would mind them taking in another kid. Against his better judgement, Techno agrees and ends up with two new foster brothers who he was determined to not get attached to, no matter what.
~*~
Another Tommy Foster AU but this time with Wilbur
🩵 A Con Artist, A Mafia Boss, An Arsonist, A Hitman and A Delinquent Cause A Scene Outside Of A Bar  🟡(hyperbolic) 11/10  - adoption AU, BADASS FAMILY, SBI, Multiple perspectives, also mumza is alive and well
Kristin needs a mortgage for her money laundering scheme.
Phil wants alibis who won’t ask any questions.
Wilbur needs a landlord that will overlook his felonies.
Techno requires a good washer and dryer that can clean blood easily.
Tommy wishes CPS would get off his ass.
Each with their own agendas, flaws and secrets, these five are pushed with the common goal of needing to come together as a family in order to evade the law.
Or: SBI needs to pretend to be a family in order to avoid the police's suspicions.
A smile and a gun 🟡 ( SilverWing15) 9/10 - mafia AU, SBI, modern AU, Family Fluff, Minor terrorism. 
“You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.”
― Al Capone ///
It isn’t the sort of place you would look for a couple of high school kids smart enough to pull one over on an international crime organization. The apartment is cheap and it shows. But if you’re perceptive enough, you can look past the water stains and the cracked drywall. You can see evidence of a home vacated cleanly and efficiently. The evacuation is more orderly than most Phil has witnessed. Usually when someone hears he’s coming around, they storm through their house in a whirlwind, not caring for what they might leave scattered in their wake. This place is messy, sure, but its messy in the way one might expect that a house full of teenage boys would be. Phil picks his way past a jacket left discarded in the entryway and deeper into the apartment. There is a sagging couch with a stack of school books scattered on it. He flips open the cover of one, eyes trailing down the ‘distributed to’ list. There, at the very bottom is familiar handwriting. Tommy. Their thief. //// AKA: Dream SMP Mafia AU with SBI bois
How to smile with bloody teeth 🟡(lockergirl) 11/10 - god Au, family Au, technoblade centric, SBI
“Please,” one soldier told Techno over dinner, “The Blood God isn’t going to help you. He doesn’t accept any of the blood sacrifices the generals leave for him, so either he doesn’t exist, or he thinks he’s too good for the likes of us. Either way, it’s best to find a different patron.”
Techno had punched him in the face for that. None of his other comrades ever brought up the Blood God again.
Well, except for one.
“You follow the Blood God?” the new kid said, staring up at Techno with unbelievably blue eyes.“Yeah,” Techno replied, perhaps a bit gruffer than he meant to, “What’s it to you?”“Nothing!” the new kid said, grinning wildly, “I love that guy. He gets all the ladies. Hey, we should be friends!”
Or: Techno is the last devout follower of the Blood God. Tommy may or may not be said god.”
Set Me Free, My Honeybee ✅(orphan_account) 8/10 - Tubbo Centric, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, Hybrid Au, Bee Duo Ship
“Have you ever heard of the vigilante; Honeybee?”
The question made Tubbo choke lightly on his water. Tubbo swallowed it down with a raised hand, hitting his chest lightly before he could speak again, “the vigilante Honeybee?” Tubbo echoed. “Um, Sorta?” Tubbo said with a shrug.
(If only Sam knew. . .)
-
In which, Tubbo’s vigilante career isn’t doing a good enough job of keeping a roof over his and his best friend Tommy’s head so Tubbo decides to be an intern for some higher up superhero’s.
And just when Tubbo thinks his luck can’t get any better - his bosses (along with Tubbo’s coworker, Ranboo) are trying to hunt down his alter ego; Honeybee.
Oh! And on top of that some hero’s - that are old friends of Dream - are trying to find Tubbo and Tommy because they’re “worried about the teens” and “they’ve been missing for four months”.
Can’t Tubbo ever get a break?
To Establish Connection 🟡( SilverWing 15) 7/10 - Tommy Centric, Royal AU, Hybrid AU, Adoption AU, Family Fluff, Minor Plots, SBI
"What does that mean -- tame?" "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties.To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.... /// “Hey!” The prince barks, whirling on him. Tommy lets his hood fall as he bolts away. He stops and spins, like he’s just heard the shout, his ears perked. His heart flutters. The royals hate hybrids and being robbed by one will make the prince furious. So angry that he won’t realize that Tommy is just bait.
OR: Royalty Adoption AU hell yeah
Hands rated E for everyone ❌(sircantus) 6/10 - Family AU, Modern AU, School, Technoblade Centric, SBI
Wilbur’s standing absolutely still, like a stone statue, eyes wide, hands shaking, water dripping off from his hair. Kids are chattering and laughing, phones being raised high as everyone crowds around. One person is laughing louder than all the rest, and Wilbur looks up with something mortified.
The expression on Wil’s face is recorded more than once. The disbelief and shock is preserved perfectly on camera, and there’s no doubt it will be the most popular image in the school for weeks.
At least, that’s what everyone is assuming, until Technoblade comes running into frame, slamming a fist right into Dream’s face.
(Or, a twinduo highschool AU, in which Techno is just Wilbur's twin who likes to stay in the background. Until one day he throws hands for Wilbur, because no way is he going to let his twin get bullied without acting out some Violence.)
Chosen By The Gods 🟡(LilBitO_Sunny) 8/10 - God AU, Family adoption, Tommy centric, SBI, family fluff
“You could become a temple hand!” Niki pushed a paper into his hands and he looked it over. “They’d provide food, shelter, and new clothes for you! Everything you need!” She grinned at him and wrung her hands as he scanned the paper in his hands.
Tommy’s heart stuttered as the information sank in. “I..I don’t know..” He winced a bit when Niki’s face fell. “I just- I don’t think they’d want some random homeless teenager working in their pristine temple..” He mumbled.
---
Or: Tommy- a random street kid -gets a job working at a temple of the gods. Wilbur, Techno and Phil all notice Tommy trying his best and collectively decide, "Ah yes. I like this one." Hijinks and found family ensues.
Or or: Super light comfort fic of Tommy being showered in love by his divine found family.
Black Bird Fly ✅MollyPollyKinz 9/10 - Royal AU, Magic AU, Wings AU, Adoption Au, Family AU, SBI, Bench trio, Dream Antagonist
“Sure thing, kiddo,” Schlatt told Tubbo. He looked over at Tommy. “You can take your cloak off if you want, kid.”
“I’m not a kid,” Tommy said automatically, immediately gripping onto his cloak more tightly.
He didn’t want Tubbo to hate him. As much as Tommy hated to admit it, he actually liked Tubbo quite a bit, and if he took the cloak off, Tommy was sure to be cast out immediately.
Or, Tommy runs away from Dream, hiding his wings from everyone he knows.
Saturday’s at the Diner ❌ (justsummr (orphan_account)) 9/10 - Adoption AU, SBI, Pure Fluff, Family Au, Minor/No Plot
“Hey kid, sorry I didn't see you there. How can I help you?”
The kid shoots up and he looks scared out of his mind for a second before scowling. “I’m not a fuckin’ kid,” he snaps. Wilbur laughs softly, the kids eyes are blue, they remind him of Phil.
“Right, how can I help you?”
The kids’ bristling demeanor dies down instantly and he looks suddenly much more nervous. The kids posture is shit, Wilbur notices, his shoulders are up and slouched over his chest almost protectively. He starts fidgeting with sleeves of his shirt and he quickly but quietly pulls out a five dollar bill, he slides it across the bar to Wilbur.
“Could I have a- could I get a-“ He pauses, shakes his head and looks up. “Hamburger and sweet potato fries,” He says it with a confident voice but scared eyes and body language.
or phil, techno, and wilbur own a diner and tommy becomes a regular customer. one found family arc later and they adopt him
Devil Town 🟡(hoorayy) 8/10 - SBI & Bench Trio as Family, Angst, Happy Ending, Switching between POV, The Egg, Kidnapping, Modern Au, Horror AU
The night Tommy disappeared, it went like this:
Tubbo screamed the words that became his goodbye. He can’t accept that Tommy is gone, because that would be accepting that the last words they exchanged were angry and intended to hurt. So he doesn’t accept it. He’ll search for years if he has to.
Techno let Tommy leave without so much as trying to stop him. He’s replayed the memory of that night and wished he’d done anything else, until he thinks the guilt might be enough to destroy him. He thinks he might already be on his way there.
And Quackity can’t help but feel like this is all just a bitter echo. This town is cursed, and Tommy is only its latest victim.
— ( the small town horror au where tommy goes missing and it all goes downhill from there! )
You can put your dukes down, stringbean 🟡(orphan_account) 8/10 - Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, SBI, Benchtrio, Tommy Centric
The Jester is a famed vigilante, protecting the city of L'manburg for as long as people can remember. No one knows where he operates, when he appeared, or who he is. It's hero Zephyrus' job to figure out his identity and capture him, with the help of his friend and son.
----
It was a much closer call than Tommy would have preferred. In his haste of escaping a group of thugs, he almost missed out on talking to a pretty woman. Granted, Tubbo was gonna be pissed when he got home. Such is the life of a heroically handsome vigilante.
OR
A fic in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno, and Wilbur by being impossible to catch, annoyingly loud, and irritatingly endearing.
amethyst and flowers on the table (is it real or a fable?) ❌( bonesandcacti) 9/10 - Fae AU, SBI, Adoption Au, Tommy Centric, Family Fluff
The fae was tall. Much taller than Tommy, and probably anyone else in the village for that matter. Hair the color of dark oak spilled over his forehead in tumbling curls. Flecks of gold dotted his cheeks like freckles, sitting underneath a pair of knowing eyes that seemed to flash between shades of earth and honey. His tall frame was draped in the most expensive-looking clothes Tommy had ever seen—flowing fabric in shades of snow and sunlight billowed in the light breeze. And there was so much jewelry. Gold bands decorated his arms, dangling gems decorated his pointed ears, and a shimmering gold circlet rested on his forehead. 
  Past the beauty though, there was danger. His nails were pointed, his teeth too sharp. When Tommy tried to look him in the eyes, his head grew fuzzy, as if perceiving the fae directly wasn’t something he was supposed to attempt.   He was smiling as he looked over Tommy.   “Are you lost?” He asked in that same lyrical voice.or, Tommy gets adopted by the fae
a togetherness 🟡(Set_Suna) 8/10 - IRL content, SBI (adoption kinda ), Christmas themed, FLUFF
“Do you know how to ice skate, Tommy?" Wil asked, gesturing ahead of them.Tommy glanced forward, seeing Techno lacing up some skates while Phil held three other pairs. He shrugged."Well enough." Tommy didn't know how to ice skate. He assumed he could manage alright, but that proved to be false as soon as he was on the ice. He'd never got the chance to try it before. His parents were never interested enough to teach him, if they even knew how. When they were home for the holidays, they usually spent the time indoors. It's probably why Tommy was so unaccustomed to the cold.”
Where is your rider?✅(Jacenbren) 9/10 - Post-nuclear war Au, Tommy Centric, Bench Trio, c!TNT duo, c! Bee duo, c! Karlnap, c!Antfrost&Velvet, c!Skephalo
“It’s been almost four hundred years since the bombs dropped, since the toxic jungle currently devouring the world took root. 
Tubbo has it good in L’Manberg with his semi-reluctant older brother figure, his shy amnesiac boyfriend, and all the pie he can eat. So when he finds a guy his age in an ancient vault, and hears the rumors about Manberg supposedly building a weapon capable of destroying cities, he isn’t sure what to do. 
Tommy, however, isn’t exactly thrilled when he wakes up four hundred years later than when he fell asleep with no memory of how he got here or how the hell he got strong enough to effortlessly rip a door off its hinges. A lot of the people he woke up to don’t seem to want him around, and soon enough he finds himself in a terrifying race against time, struggling to put together the scattered pieces of his past before a madman blows the planet to hell again. 
Tensions are rising, the jungle is spreading, and the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of a handful of uncooperative individuals with enough collective trauma to make your average therapist have a breakdown. What could possibly go wrong?
And the Universe said: "I'm not a fucking child!" 🟡(DeerlyAza, OfFeathersAndWax) 9/10 - God AU, Hero/Villain/Vigilante Au, SBI, Bench trio, tubbo adopted tommy… , tommy centric
“Tommy was a tired God who's sick of sleeping all the time. He goes down to the mortal world and discovers heroes, vigilantes, and villains. He gets dragged into it forcefully by his new friends - who also dragged him forcefully into their lives - and, honestly? He doesn't regret a thing. Being a vigilante is fun! Even if he has to hide the fact that he's a God from them. And then he has to hide the fact that he's a vigilante from the heroes who he now works for and have taken an interest in him. Should be easy, right? Well...He should be able to do at least one of those things!-“Congrats, you've met Ranboo, we’re now kidnapping you.”“Wait what-”“Tubbo, wait, you said we’d talk about this first-”
Take me home, let me rest 🟡( sircantus ) 8/10 - magic AU, family ‘adoption’, SBI, FLUFF, techno centric
Oh, I’m sorry, sorry, mate-” Phil reaches his hands out, Techno kicking his legs out, trying to scoot away. “No, no-” Techno chokes out, heart slamming into his ribs. He’s going to die, he’s going to die here, he should’ve known, Phil was never human, he was never human at all-“I should’ve told you earlier.” Phil smiles, kneeling down to Techno’s level. He’s not reaching out anymore, but he’s not leaving either. “Sorry again for the scare. That was a bit much, huh?”Techno blinks. “What?”
OrPhil is not quite human, but he’s still very much a dad, with two children he loves very much. 
Techno gets adopted into the family.
He was not informed of this.”
We Don't Make The Rules, We Simply Break Them ✅✅✅(Dragonire) 8/10 - hero/villain/vigilante AU, SBI family arch, angst, family problems, Wilbur main antagonist, temporary character death, tommy centric
“Are you—fucking mad?” Sentinel heaves. “You asked for me,” Tommy pants, trying not to show pain but knows he’s not succeeding as he heaves air like a man starved. “You asked the heroes to hand me over in exchange for the hostages. You’ve seen me fight. Zyghost knows too.” He knows that Tommy can’t jump anymore, but that’s all of it. Maybe they’re thinking his electricity and power shocks is something tied to his teleportation, but they can’t know the true extent of Tommy’s “power” and he’s pretty sure that that is what’s keeping him alive.
“You want to poke me,” he hisses, although it doesn’t sound nearly as threatening as he wants, when he’s so goddamned tired and hurt and fucking aching. “You want to prod me. You want to figure out my powers. Either you think I’m your new bargaining chip or your new protégé you want to torture into submission,” he spits, hitting the nail on its fucking head when Sentinel freezes in his sights. “Well I’m fucking neither. I’m Theseus, illegal fucking vigilante and two of your hostages happened to be my family.
“And this is personal, bitch.”
Or: Being a vigilante isn’t simple—or legal—but Tommy refuses to sit on the sidelines.
saltwater in the afternoon❌ - (bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)) 8/10- Mer Au, Tommy adoption AU, SBI + Bench Trio, tommy centric
“So, like, how much did this entire getup run you?” Tommy asked, glancing up to the guy’s face again. “This looks like big movie budget level makeup or something. It couldn’t have been cheap.”
The guy clenched his jaw. “It’s not a fucking costume,” he grit out between his teeth.
“Look, I’m not an idiot, pal,” Tommy scoffed. “It’s a little weirdchamp that your only hobbies seem to be dressing up like a mermaid to swim around at night, and trying to convince random teenagers you meet that you’re a real fucking mermaid.”
or, Wilbur's first time meeting a human doesn't go as expected
Baby Steps ❌(SilverWing15) 8/10 - hybrid Au, adoption Au, Tommy centric, fluff
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of your own prisoner,” the piglin says, and there’s a mocking laugh in his voice and Tommy hates it, hates it, hates it! The humans always laughed at him and said he was scared. He’s not scared!
“I’m not scared!” He yelps, glaring at the piglin from around the tree. He’s not scared, but he’s not stupid either.
The piglin stares at him, his eyes wide, his mouth open a little bit and it shows even more of his big teeth. Tommy goes back behind the tree.
“I’m not scared!” he says again, “so you better not laugh at me!”
“I--I’m sorry?” the piglin says, and he sounds weird, kind of high pitched. “Come back here.”
How Much Earth Do You Carry In Your Lungs? ❌(Dragonire) - tommy centric, space AU, SBI ‘adoption’, fluff, aliens AU
The aliens haven’t experimented on him. They’re scared of him and Tommy is glad for it. Almost all.
The Demon, green-silver-mercury; tall, muscled with golden horns is the only one that isn’t. He doesn’t flinch whenever Tommy screams at him through the glass, when he pounds his fist or charges the door with a ducked shoulder and a brace for bruises, but neither does he appreciate it for long. He, at least, is the only one so far to threaten Tommy. It had only been a raised hand—the glass between them protecting Tommy from the violence and protecting the alien from his retaliation—but it was a threat, nonetheless. Unacted upon, because in all the weeks Tommy has been in his possession, he hasn’t made a move to come into his enclosure cell and do anything against him.
But that’s just the point. It’s been, weeks? A month? Nearly two? Tommy knows that the aliens’ patience is going to eventually run out at some point and he’s not keen to find out what will happen next. He’s expecting violence. He’s expecting pain, he’s expecting blood, he’s expecting….
He’s not expecting this.
Or: Humans will pack bond with anything.
Imprinted🟡8/10 (Euripides406BCE) - tommy centric, SBI, Bench trio, Hero/Villain/vigilante Au, Hybrid Au, Adoption:)
SBI superhero au- where civilian Tommy, with newly grown wings, dares to leave his apartment for the first time since manifesting them. He doesn't mean to end up in the midst of a hostage situation with the syndicate
Some SBI supervillain madness with some fun Origins shit thrown in!
Sedated 🟡9/10 ( grasstastic) - Tommy centric, SBI, Vampire AU, Possessive SBI, kinda dark
Tommy had heard the stories. Creatures of night, stalking the shadows with crimson eyes and eternal hunger. Everyone who wanted to keep their heart beating had a deadbolt on their door and an oak stake in their bedside table. 
He followed the rules for survival. He wasn’t stupid. He didn’t go out after dark, he didn’t leave the busy parts of town. 
He did everything right.
So why was there an undead being sprawled below his kitchen window?
This is just a terrible way to die. And the thing broke his window on the way in. Fucking great. 
A smile tugs at the creature’s mouth, the corners just barely pulling up, the smallest flash of fangs. 
“Ayup.”  
OrCrimeboys but one of them is a vampire. Another instance in which someone asks me if I'm just a crimeboys writer pretending to be an sbi writer, and I repeatedly prove, Yes.
Few mercies for fools 🟡 ( MathanLin) 7/10 - SBI, War, Tommy centric, ANGST, Magic AU
“Bullshit. That’s the dumbest thing you could do.”
“And why would that be?”
Too many responses to count flashed through Tommy’s mind. This man was going to kill him, there was no denying that. No denying that Tommy had been stupid. That mantra had gotten him through the night, sure, but it wasn’t true, and now he was going to die.
In the forest, he didn't know what was coming to kill him. Now, though, he knew it would be this man, with his soft cloak and softer eyes, Tommy wasn’t so afraid.
Might as well encourage him to make it quick.
“Because I know where you live, you rebel fuck,” he spat. “I know exactly where we are.” /// Or, the SBI coven adopts a foul-mouthed child soldier with trust issues.
Storgē 🟡(Dragonire)8/10 - Magic AU, Tommy Centric, Hybrid AU, SBI, Mainly fluff
“Fucking—let—me—go!” he snarls, wrapping both hands around the length of the rope, painfully aware of the laughter ringing through the trees; the sounds of feet crashing through bracken; and Tommy—he doesn’t understand why the rope isn’t burning, why the frayed strands aren’t catching—it’s just a length of rope used for hunting, its not important enough to be enchanted, no one would waste coin enchanting rope to make it fireproof when it’s only use is to be part of a snare and nothing more. 
The voices are getting louder and Tommy is running out of time.There’s a trail of smoke where something just barely catches alight and Tommy doesn’t bother with a cry of victory—not when he’s not free, not when he’s still suspended up in the air, dangling by his foot, trying to burn through his shoe so that he can gain favour towards escape or free his knife—
“Oh my god Techno, your snare caught a child!”
🩵 - Every rating above 10/10 is highly recommended ( it's also has a blue heart next to it ) 
✅ - Good read-time/ 20 chapters and above
🟡 - Meh read-time / Minor storylines
❌ - pretty bad read-time/ oneshots
*-    work originally uploaded on wattpad but can be found on Ao3
Other fics that i've read but didn't bother to write about:
When the curtains fall - REALLY GOOD, SBI centric, sitcom show AU
Step by step to mortality - immortality AU , SBI centric but mainly phil
can't wait to be king - Royalty AU, SBI centric
scaled schemes - shapeshifter AU, SBI centric
under the brine - Fae AU, SBI centric
the fall of icarus - hero/villain /vigilante Au, SBI centric
baby birds - hybrid AU, SBI FLUFF
godling - God au, SBI centric
my rommate is a vigilante - hero/villain/vigilante AU
shut up and drive - Drag racing AU, SBI centric
Sir, this is a Drive Thru - Hero/villain/vigilante AU, SBI centric
Yet a trace - Hero/villain/vigilante AU, SBI centric
Gladiator - Magic/hybrid AU, SBI centric
I really need somebody to call my own - singer AU/ adoption AU, tommy and wilbur centric
I love you Beary much - hybrid au, tommy and wilbur centric
the day music died - God AU, wilbur and tommy centric
I'm Ok with that - silent_flower21 -
There's a Baby Dragon in my Flowers - Dragon hybrid/ magic AU, SBI fluff
TommyInnit's wild adventure through a Kidnapping, a couple of Murders, and a really scary Thunderstorm. -Cryptid Au, SBI Centric
From underneath the stormdrain - Cat shifter AU , SBI centric
won't you open up the sunroof (in my head) - Soulmate AU, SBI centric
Pink hair and pixie dust - pixie/fae AU, SBI centric
Royal debt - royal Au, SBI centric
pen to skin to heart - Soulmate AU, SBI centric
In an Old World so Different - Canon Divergence Au, Tommy centric
Peeps - Hybrid AU, and SBI FLUFF
Catalysm ( sequel: antecendent) - Royal Au, SBI centric
Distrust Their Name - Fae AU, SBI centric
run boy, run - hero/villain/vigilante AU, SBI centric
My sworn enemy brother mine - royal Au, technoblade and wilbur centric
Blackwater pond - superpowers AU, SBI centric
Caging a Wild Animal - hero/villain/vigilante Au, SBI centric
and if i come home how will i ever leave - little red riding hood au, SBI centric
Small Death and Codeine, - dark vampire SBI Au
Cherry Wine - dark vampire SBI Au^2
What ever remains, however improbable - detective au, tommy and wilbur
Series : 
I'm Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Help Me ( SilverWing15) - The collection with a LOT of good writing in it. Would recommend 10/10.
Wait That's Illegal ( SilverWing15) - Again a collection of fics by the amazing SiverWing15
I am Still Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Can No Longer Help Me ( SiverWing15)  - Sequel of ‘I’m Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Help Me’. Just a general collection of fics if you don't know where to go, it is mainly one-shots and all written by SilverWing15.
Aerie  (blujamas, thcscus(bluejamas) - The good stuff ( aka Passerine and sequels) 
RRR trilogy ( Aria_Cinabun)  - Phoenix AU, with PLOT.
And goddess said let there be chaos (itsultraviolet) -  Sequels to ‘of wilder things’; Just Fluff. ( and nothing more ) 
The Children of the Stars  ( Aria_Cinabun) - One of the best Star Trek AUs, although the last book is not finished the first book is still an excellent read.
From ice to water ( Drhair76, plantform ) - Dream smp Winter Olympics AU, mainly fluff not much focused on plot.
Blood Brothers (Blood God!Tommy AU) ( lockergirl) - the title says it all.
Honeybee (ophan_account) - Vigilante AU with Tubbo POV.
Rules are made to be broken ( Dragonire) - We Don't Make The Rules, We Simply Break Them sequels
Starchild ( Dragonire ) - Tommy space AU with SBI gang, sequels to 
Let God Say Fuck  ( DeerlyAza, OfFeathersAndWax )  - sequels to And the Universe said: "I'm not a fucking child!" 
Authors 
SilverWing15 - If you like one shots, go to him/her/them. Excellent writing, most of it is  fluff, sometimes write multi-chapter fics, but not long. Signature work/s: One man’s trash ( is another man’s brother) 
Aria_Cinabun - Mainly Plot, with SBI fluff mentions. Writes for mcyt characters, not just dream smp. Signature work/s: RRR trilogy and the children’s rebellion series
Bonesandthebees - More plot based with minor SBI fluff. Signature work/s: Tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillains 
Sircantus - you can trust him for SBI fluff, you won’t find any dark content in his/her/their works. Signature work: I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight 
Dragonire - really good fanfic writer with art!
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strangefellows · 1 year
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Gil for the character ask?
First impression
Oh man back when I first watched FSN and half of Zero like a decade ago I HATED him, but it was like one of those.... "I hate you so much but you're very compelling, but also i HATE you", and also he was very popular so that made me kinda dislike too.
Impression now
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD. Watching babylonia was so worth it because it showed me that he was definitely more than he was in UBW which, uh, wasn't his finest moments. Seeing him there and in CCC was like, a blessing, and he's such a great character and I own a copy of the epic now and that's my number one fate boyfriend
Favorite moment
WHERE DO I START-- well there's a lot of little things in CCC that I absolutely adore (AUO castoff take my money), but I think one of my favorite moments is the scene in Babylonia where he talks to Enkidu about his role as king while watching his people celebrate. Also - heartbreakingly not in the anime but in the game - the bit where he tries to fight some spriggans but one's a rider and it bitchslaps him across the field and he's so OFFENDED, i wish that had been animated. Honorable mention is either his sacrifice in Babylonia or the bit in LB7 where he straight up tells Fujimaru to kill Kirei before he betrays them, I laughed really hard at that.
Idea for a story
I WANT STORIES WHERE GIL GETS THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM, I WANT HIM TO CRACK EMOTIONALLY, I WANT TO SEE HIM BE LESS THAN PERFECT, BREAK THIS MAN IN ANY WAY YOU WANT AND I WILL LOVE IT ahem. listen sometimes a man needs a spiked baseball bat to the face if we want him to have any growth at all, mr perfect op bastard goldie is one of those people
Unpopular opinion
This is probably not an UNPOPULAR opinion per se I know plenty of Gil fans who agree with this, but there's still enough dudebros to make this at least a less common opinion-- I don't like him in UBW. And I don't like him for how OP powerful he is. I like him because he's absolutely one of the most human servants despite his demigod status and protests otherwise. He's ridiculously flawed and makes a ton of huge mistakes in his backstory and he's a petty arrogant selfish egotistical childish brat over half the time, and his grief for Enkidu is so relatable and I just /waves hands around/ THAT'S the good shit. Also the REAL unpopular opinion is that I really don't like Koto*Gil all that much.
Favorite relationship
You mean besides Enkidu because that's a given? Well, I ship him with my Fujimaru so there's that, but I think my favorite relationship he has is the UBW Idiot Trio. The closest thing he has to friends and equals these days is Cu and Emiya and I love the way the three of them tend to interact a lot and are like idiot frenemies who still hang out together. I don't think Gil would process friendship post-Enkidu if it bit him in the ass, but I really like that trio's weird dynamic.
Favorite headcanon
Well, Gil is dark-skinned in Fate regardless of how pasty canon wants to tell me he is, suck it illustrators. But most of my headcanons for him are like...more in depth stuff so we'll leave it at that.
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dgyum · 2 months
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escape from team rocket base in the deepest depths of Guyana's jungles
i remember well Aura training in secret just so i could take the Team Rocket grunts and admins alike by surprise i burst my contaimnent cell with a carefully directed wall of sound before freeing Mewtwo from the golden cage they had trapped him in with a bright blue sphere, then the Genetic Pokemon Marked me  and we estabilished a psychic link with the poor Genesect on which the scientists were carrying out experiments, when the right time arrived Mewtwo sent the scientists into a coma and i broke their equipment allowing the Genesect to slip out of his bonds, surprisingly he gave the Mark that was his right to give to me saying that he from the moment he laid eyes on us he chose us to be his new pack, i closed my eyes and reached out with the psychic powers gained from Mewtwo's Mark frying minds that are too depraved to be left as anything more than drooling idiots, Genesect prepared himself and when an horde of i think seventeen pokemon at once rushed us he hit them one by one with energy blasts from the cannon on his back, i reopened my eyes and witnessed the aftermath of Mewtwo blowing the whole base up then teleporting himself and Genesect away, i teleported myself to the Ruins of Alph where the Unown who were in light of their mysterious connection with the Original One and their sheer power if enough of them are gathered together plus likely nature as previously misclassified Legendary Pokemon and confirmed nature as the pokemon who are the very embodiment of the source code of the universe itself, of the words and letters forming the basis and source of all creation but even they are bested by: the Trio of Creation, the Lake Trio and the Original One just to mention a few of the Gods, they were reclassified as Legendary Pokemon and any and all trainers warned away from trying to catch them the ones who didn't listen becoming pratical lessons for all who stumble upon them i did not expect at all after a long and grueling test for the Unown to Mark me, in flowing Unown script on my back just below my left shoulder there with letters resembling them to an unsettling degree they  wrote you who sought refuge before us, and asked us to be available and proved yourself worthy of our might, we gift thee with a blessing rarely given, a blessing to share in our capabilities your own psichic abilities growing fast apace and being able to call for our help when needed, after the script appeared i fainted and awoke two hours later surrounded by the Unown who were annihilating the Team Rocket Executives sent to gain control of them i connected to their hive mind and soon afterwards the Executives horribly died as i tapped into the Unown's abilities due to them being the very letters that write reality itself, the Executives minds corrupted with hallucinations and things that better remain without names normally residing in the Distortion World also called by those that knew its true origin the Shattered Shell as that which should not be, a mere shadow cast by All That Is, their bodies' guts spilling all over the floor before ceasing to exist.
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raisaumexique · 2 years
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
21/06/2022
N.B : as of now i have landed in paris and will be trying to recollect my thoughts and shit of my last days in mexico
chichen itza
uesday me and annabelle went to chichen itza. i made the grave error of waking up late because of my fucking hangover. one does not wake up late to go to chichen itza for fear of encountering the hordes of tourists waiting to take their annual family trip picture holding the point of the pyramid. that is exactly what happened. they were fucking everywhere. it was awful. i had to put my earphones on and astral project into a time where mortals didn’t walk these earths. the music and my uncanny aptitude in absolutely dissociating to the gods helped alot. it made things bearable. i walked around the grounds exploring everything the archeological site had to offer. hilarious that other than the field where the mayan calendar stood there was nearly no one lol. after a couple of hours of visiting the weight of the sun pushed me down. i went exited the site and took a collectivo back to the hostel.
valladolid
back in the hostel i sat on the rooftop to write some travel diary entries. i waited for annabelle to come back as she had decided to go to a cenote. i think i chatted with the little british trio and then nothing much. when annabelle came back i waited for her to shower and dressed her in my clothes because the idiot had left her luggage in merida with her lover. bless her heart. it was officially our last night together in mexicooo. she was heading to her workaway in the jungle and i was heading to tulum then bacalar (at least i thought i was at the time). so we bought beers and drank on the rooftop. while we were having drinks we started speaking with this french couple that were also traveling through mexico. no i personnaly was into the idea of bacalar but i thought might as well ?? to be honest i had no idea what i wanted to do with the last leg of my trip. i was so happy and content with everything i did and i knew i was coming back to do the pacific coast. so i was content happy with no idea where to go with the rest of my money. i sent a message to luna, the british girl that i had met in tulum, to ask if she was still there. she said yes !!! she told me to come that there were alot of cool new people here and i could spend one or two nights before going to bacalar. the plan sounded nice and i did want to spend more time with luna who i really liked ! so i booked the hostels and the bus rides. after doing all of this guess who sent me a message : lautaro, lol. he told me he was in valladolid ?? i was like um. let’s meet up. obviously. he said he was doing some work for the new hostel that was opening there i was like nice let’s meet up. he said he was eating then he’ll head out. i was like cool. ignoring my phone i continued hanging out with the others. at one pount the french couple retired to their chambers and a dutch guy and english guy walked in, lol. they asked if they could join us, lol. apparently i had talked to the dutch guy, lukas, last night. i had a very vague recollection of me asking why he needed a knife in the kitchen while being absolutely hammered. he said that we had a whole conversation in french. i basically sat there not remembering. the english guy who’s name i don’t remember was really nice ! we bonded over everything english and it was nice. i’ll say it again but i have truly reconnected with my english roots during this trip it’s not even funny. i feel an urge to go live in london for a year and appropriate young english adult culture and trauma. during all this lautaro had not messaged me back. as i am a prideful capricorn i did not message him asking what’s up. i let it pass. lukas tried to make up a handshake with me in order for us to remember next time we saw each other. he told me he spoke and understood a bit of french because his family has been vacationing in le lavandou for years. mdr. he formally invited me to come and visit this summer. mind you i did not encourage this behavior no cool girl trope no nothing. anyways after too many beers we all said our goodbyes and headed to bed. not before i got three warm hugs. god i love hugging.
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minijenn · 4 years
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This fucking chapter of Keys has 3 goddamn songs in it
And if it was a playable world in an actual KH game, all of those songs would be way less cringey moments than any given part of KH2 Atlantica 
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ahundredtimesover · 3 years
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Inevitable (Prologue) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader (ft. ot6)
Genre/Tags: exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK; angst, fluff, smut (18+)
Series Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, minor character death, explicit sexual content in future chapters (oral, unprotected sex but be safe please!)
Prologue Word count: 2.2k
Summary:   You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.
A/N: I’ve had this story in my head for months and I’m glad I finally got to put this into writing! This little family was such a joy to write, and I thank the sweetest soul, Ava @btstannies for letting me gush over this trio and hyping me up everyday! Also, my baseball knowledge is pretty shallow so please forgive me!
Listen to: Walking By by Something Corporate
Series Masterlist || Next
“We’re here.” 
The deep voice cuts through the numbness you feel, blowing life into your body that’s chosen to block out the pain for now because you know after this, it’s going to hurt a lot more. 
You taste iron on your lips. You feel the sting in your eyes. You see the crescent nail marks on your palms. Then you slacken your jaw and try to breathe.
“You can cry, you know?” But Taehyung knows you won’t. Not in front of him. Not in front of the man whose heart you’re about to break. 
Your best friend knows you, knows you’ll only cry when you’re alone - under the covers, in the shower, on your bedroom floor. You don’t let anybody see you like that. It makes you feel like you don’t have control, and control is the one thing you need to have right now.
“I will.”
“You also don’t have to do this.”
But Taehyung also knows you still will. It’s a decision you made on your own and he knows you well enough that nothing - no one - will make you change your mind. 
“I need to.”
He hums; it’s a battle he won’t win. So he exits the car, opens the passenger seat door, and pulls you out. “I’ll be here when it’s over.”
When it’s over. Over. That’s what it’ll be after this.
**
You ring the doorbell and hear the faint footsteps get louder. The door opens and joyful onyx eyes greet you, a contrast to your tired brown ones. He takes it for something else, perhaps stress, since he doesn’t say anything about it.
Jungkook pulls you in a hug and you will yourself not to bask in his sweet scent, not to let his soft giggle on your neck and peck on your cheek and whisper of “I missed you” make you forget why you’re here in the first place. 
He tugs you inside the apartment, the one the team offered him because he couldn’t abide by the university dorm’s curfew, being that he trains too early and finishes too late. It had been a blessing to you both, as in the course of your over two years together, you’d taken advantage of the privacy and solitude it provided. 
You can’t imagine what it would give him after this. 
“I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy. All these calls with the Dodgers’ owner, then manager, then coach. You think they’d all just call at once but they’re in different cities, I guess,” he shrugs and turns to you. “They’ve been excited,” he continues, his smile reaching his eyes. 
It’s never pained you until now. 
“As they should,” you try a smile. “They’re lucky you signed.”
He chuckles at this. He’s always been amused at your oblivion with how these things work. He’s lucky he even caught the eye of a scout, lucky they even paid attention, lucky that the LA Dodgers wanted to give him a shot with their AAA affiliate team in the minor league. 
If he’s even luckier, maybe he can get to the major league in three years; two would be a miracle. It’s what he’s worked so hard for, it’s why the decision to move thousands of miles away was a no-brainer. Not everyone gets a chance to play in the most popular baseball league like this.
But Jungkook doesn’t know any better, doesn’t know that you know how these things work. You wouldn’t be doing what you’re about to if you didn’t. 
“I’m glad you called, though,” he says, nerves teeming with excitement at his news. Well, proposal. It might be a difficult sell with you but he knows it’s not impossible. 
It came to him one day, in the middle of a conference call with the owner who kept raving about his soon-to-be home. 
“Oklahoma City is great, Jungkook. You’re gonna love it there,” the man had said. Jungkook wasn’t completely sold on the city but he knew you’d enjoy the museums, knew you’d enjoy watching the OKC Thunder play - you were always more into basketball than baseball, anyway. 
Everything had been so fast - from the meetings to the contract-signing to the planning of his move to the US - but he couldn’t imagine starting his life there without you and he just knew he had to have you there with him. 
He could help you find a job or you could do freelance work; what he’d earn could be enough if you both plan things out well, he thought. He was smiling like an idiot during that call, thinking about the next phase of your life together and he couldn’t wait to tell you. 
You’d been caught up with your final projects and school events and he’d been caught up with his papers but you’re here with him now. 
“So I was thinking and—.”
“We should break up.”
You say at the same time. For the first time, his wide eyes mirror yours - sullen and dark, but glassy, too because he did not just hear you tell him that you two should end this. 
Everything had been going so well. You’d been so excited when he got signed to the Minor League, was celebrating with him in all ways you both knew how. There were no talks about breakups, no ending things. It seemed like a given that you’d both stay together; long distance relationships are hard but there are ways to manage. He knew that. He thought you knew that, thought you felt the same, too.
He stares at you, unable to make a sound, to form words that would be remotely close to what he wants to say. His heart is breaking by the second and you stare back at him. There’s no sign of guilt. You’re not taking it back, you’re not saying anything. 
“You don’t mean this, ___. Tell me you don’t mean this.”
“I do,” you sigh. “I just think it’s best if we end this.”
He wishes you had not said anything at all. 
“Why?” He stammers, willing himself to face whatever fucked up reason you have for wanting to break up. It doesn’t seem real. He’s suffocating with how forward you are, with how unbothered you seem while he feels his world slowly crumbling. “Did I do something wrong? Do you not love me anymore?”
“I just don’t think it’s gonna work out.”
“We haven’t even tried. I mean, I’m not leaving yet, we have a few more months to figure it out.”
“It’s months enough to get over this so we can move on. It’ll just be harder then. We know it’s gonna happen anyway,” you lie. 
You see the shock on his face, the disbelief in the words coming out of your mouth. This isn’t the woman who he laid in bed with just a week ago, naked, giggling, kissing him. 
“Babe, you can’t do this. I want you—no, I need you to be with me,” he continues, voice strangled, the thoughts of asking you to come with him drifting away.
“I don’t.” It’s another lie, but it’s one you need to tell. 
You’re uncompromising, resolute in your decision. Your almost emotionless face - tightened features and completely dry eyes - is a contrast to his. You can’t break. You can’t back out from this. 
He muffles his cries, heart breaking at the coldness of your words. 
“You’re all you need, Jungkook,” you continue. “There’s nothing else I can give you that you won’t get there.” Another lie. You know that no one could love him as much as you. It’s why you’re doing this.
“Don’t do this to me, please.”
“Don’t do this to me, too, Jungkook. You have an entire life to live out there. You’re the one leaving and I’m supposed to just stay here and wait for you? Until your dream is enough? Live my life in limbo until we can be together again in god knows when? Expect that video calls will make up for the distance? What about me and my own life? What about my needs?”
It’s messed up but that’s what you do when you love someone, right? You hurt them? And you let them go? 
You can only hope that one day, he’ll understand; that one day, he can forgive you. That one day, he’ll accept that you had to do this. It’s that hope you hang onto - that you’ll hang onto for years to come - just so you won’t fall apart. It’s only that hope where you can derive your strength from because you’ll have to be strong for someone else now. Someone who isn’t him.
“We— we can work it out. We’ll try, okay?. We’ll figure something out.” He stutters, still unbelieving that this is happening, that he is begging you to be on the same page with him, begging you to fight for this with him. 
“But what if we can’t? What if it becomes too much? You know what it would take to make it and I can’t hold you back, Jungkook. My life is here, my family and my friends are here. I have a job waiting for me, so you can’t hold me back either. It’s unfair to both of us.”
He’s looking at you, desperate to find a crack, to find an opening. But there’s none.
“Baby, please—” he cries, arms out to hold you but you step away, as if his touch could burn you. His heart is already shattered, why are you still breaking it? What’s left to break when you’ve taken everything away from him with just your words?
“Jungkook, think about it!”
“I am, and you’re not making sense! I know we haven’t really talked about it—“
“Exactly. Because there’s nothing to talk about. You don’t need baggage when you’re over there, you can’t be thinking about anyone else, especially one who isn’t there. You need support and more patience and understanding and… I can’t give you those. Not anymore. I’m tired. I’ve been tired. It’s gonna be even more tiring when you’re gone.” 
The lies don’t stop but you know they’re necessary, that this is how you convince him, that this is how he lets you go.
Jungkook doesn’t think there’s a worse way that you can hurt him. He’s always admired your decisiveness, but right now, he hates it, hates everything he loves about you - how strong you are, how persistent you are, how uncompromising you are. Your words are ice, as cold as the December evening. You’re unmoving and he knows you well enough that you won’t take it back. 
“Fine,” he relents. “You want to break up? Then we break up.” He wipes the tears off his face, trying to be brave, trying to salvage the remaining dignity he has left. “We end this right now, like you want.”
This is what you came here to do. This was the goal. And you’re absolutely broken. 
You turn away, knowing any more second of looking at his clenched jaw, balled up fist, and unblinking eyes will make you give in, will make you take everything back.
“Don’t reach out, okay? Don’t call. Don’t make this harder than it already is,” he states. “You wanted this.” 
You nod because he’s right. You’ll lose all rights to him after this. He’ll get over you, he’ll be okay. You’ll let him know the truth when the time is right.
“Goodbye, Jungkook. Good luck out there. Your father is very proud of you.” 
You turn and head out the door, the bang not as loud as your shattering heart. And just like that, it was all over. 
You stand motionless outside his apartment, unable to make a step to make it all final. 
You hear a thump. Then a sob. 
“Please, don’t go,” he whispers, as if he knows you’re still there, and even during the final moments, he’s still begging for you to change your mind. It’s faint but you hear it and you step away this time before you walk back in and take everything back.
**
Taehyung starts the car as he sees your figure approach. You head to the back, behind the driver’s seat, a hand over your mouth to suppress your sobs. 
“You can cry now,” he says, as he steps on the gas and turns up the volume of the radio until it drowns out your sounds. You let yourself go and weep, throat aching at the force of it all, chest tightening at the overwhelming emotion of what you’d just done.
It hurts not like you expected. It hurts even more. 
You ground yourself before you lose more of you as the seconds go by and cradle the soon-to-be-there bump on your stomach. 
You need to let them know it wasn’t their fault, that they’re a blessing either way, but that it’s just hard right now. You don’t want them to feel the grief, the ache of a love that had to end, the love that created them. 
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” you whisper and trust that this tiny little being can hear your words. “But we’re gonna be okay, alright? Mama’s gonna be okay.”
~
Next
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shinymushroom · 2 years
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I think, if I was Feng xin i would beat the ever loving shit out of mu qing just once behind xie Lians back, just once.
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night-gem-shit · 2 years
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You Remind Me Of The Babe
Ocean Idiots Adopt A Child I Guess
@shandzii
Delta wasn't certain what she was staring at. It was a squirmy human thing with a large squishy plume on it's head. The plume had what she assumed was an eye in it. It certainly looked like an eye. A big fiery one. The thing's face was hidden by strange pink and blue strands of twisting hair that circled around it's head.
She gestured to the thing "Mariza what is this?" She asked.
Mariza smiled as she held the thing in her watery tendrils "It's a mer child, a jellyfish one. I've only heard about them but look at him... her... Them!" The god mumbled, they shifted the child a bit.
"Did you even check?" Delta asked. Her girlfriend was wonderful but also very, very impulsive at times. It was cute when it wasn't child kidnapping.
Mariza nodded "Yeah, it just they uh- they didn't have anything. As far as I could tell it was stingers and oh do they sting," she remarked. The jellyfish child giggled. Little chubby and uncomfortably pale hands grasped at the air.
Delta held out her hands "Give me them, you're going to drop them like that," she said. The ocean god sighed by gladly handed them over. The trio went to a spot on the ship for a little more privacy.
The shark smiled "Okay, let's see what you're hiding under this mushroom hat," she teased. The child giggled again as she pushed their hair (?) Back. Her hand stung sharply. Delta jerked her hand away "Ah shit," she grumbled.
"Those might also be stinger bits," Mariza warned. The god closed her mouth from the glare the pirate sent her way. Delta shuffled over to a trunk and grabbed a glove. She pulled it on then went back to the child "Okay, take two."
When she managed to touch the stringers without being violently stung. Delta felt the blood drain from her face "Mariza," she said.
Mariza popped up by her side and winced. The child had big glassy eyes. They were looking at Delta but it was definitely in a way that didn't exactly see her. More like the general direction of her.
Mariza waved a tendril in their face "Hey kid, can you see that?" She asked.
The little one blinked "What?" They asked, half aware.
Delta dropped their tentacles and pulled her girlfriend away from the kid "They're blind," She whispered.
"I noticed."
"Mariza!"
The god made a vague gesture "What! You want me to toss them back into the ocean or something? They're a jellyfish, I'm more shocked they can even talk rather than them being blind," she replied.
The shark mer fell silent. Her eyes went back to the jellyfish sitting on the bed, idly kicking their legs all dapper in a makeshift outfit from an old sail cloth. An idea hit her.
She approached the child and crouched down again "Hey little one, do you think you can answer some questions for me?" She asked.
They nodded excitedly.
A smile crossed Delta's face, Mariza electing to join her "Okay, do you have a name? Something your family calls you?" She asked.
The child smiled, all goofy and all teeth "Papa called me Ab- am- aboination," they said, stumbling through the word.
That sharp cold feeling on the blood draining from Delta came back "Abomination?" She asked weakly.
The child nodded happily "Mhm, Mama called me Abe or Abbey," they replied.
Once again they went back to the corner. Delta gave Mariza a look "Where did you find them?" She asked.
After the whole mess of Ascension thing and relearning each other, Delta knew one thing. It took a lot for the New Mariza to be anxious. What she had asked made the god's eyes dart everywhere but at her.
"Mariza."
Shifting feet and little uncomfortable movements.
"Oh Blessed She Of The Sea, Mariza, Our Great Ocean Goddess," Delta moved to pin Mariza in a corner, imposing the height difference they had "May My Prayer Be Heard Amongst The Vast Waves You Control, Where Did You Find This Kid?"
Mariza gave her a look, eyes lighting up in dark shadow. Her mouth twitched in protest as she went to answer the prayer. The god gave her a firm look. It was one thing to make a prayer to a god, it was another to do it when that god was present. Mariza's brow furrowed as she clapped her hands over her mouth to muffle the answer then promptly turned to water and fell through the floorboards of the ship and into the ocean.
"Ugh! You coward!" Delta shouted. The ship rattled but otherwise it kept sailing. The shark grumbled as she returned to Ab "Okay, how about a few more questions," she sighed.
"The ocean is sad," Ab said.
"What?"
The kid hopped of the bed and patted the wood of the ship "There, there," they mumbled.
Delta sunk to the floor beside them "Can you feel the ocean?" She asked. It made some sense, a lot of ocean tied people could but Ab seemed a curious case.
They nodded as they tilted their head to her "It's very sad," they stood up "Mama would give me crackers when I was sad, could we give it crackers?" They asked.
Delta felt some of that tension soften at their dumb little face "We can try," she said.
-
Over the course of a few days, Ab was a sight to behold on the ship. They were more, or less, very loved from how small and squishy they were. Gods, they were impossibly squishy. Delta almost had a heart attack when they tripped on the stairs of the upper deck and bounced to the bottom. Ab got up and went to wondering about once more all the way unphased. There were a few set backs especially in the department of sleeping when Delta would wake up to something violently stinging her.
Ab snored as Delta pulled them off her arm. The little tendrils of their hair left the fading but painful shocks in her arm remained as she held them by the back of their new shirt and dumped them into a bucket next to her bed. Immediately they morphed into their mer form, little pale body becoming translucent and brightly glowing tendrils flopped over the edge.
"Did you really just do that?"
Delta jumped as she grabbed a knife from the nightstand and pointed it at someone.
Mariza slowly began to glow faintly in the darkness. Delta sighed as she lowered her weapon "Gods, don't scare me like that," she mumbled.
Mariza hummed as she crawled into the bed beside her, armor melting into her tendrils and leaving her body semi bare. Delta dumped the knife back on the nightstand next to her and laid down. The two tangling into each other's embrace "Where'd you go?" She asked.
Mariza sighed "Had to do some god stuff. Samira was nagging about it, payers build up and whatnot," she mumbled. She pressed her face under Delta's chin "I sunk their ship," she added softly.
"You sink a lot of ships babe."
"I sunk Their ship."
It took a minute to realize what she was saying. Delta's sleepiness was starting to fade "Oh." She shifted, holding the god "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.
Mariza's fins dipped "Those people didn't care. Their parents weren't even their parents. They got pawned off by some fisherman or sailor to a sideshow that didn't actually care. A fucking kid Delta, they're dumb!"
"I'm not crying?" Mariza said.
Something wet touched Delta "Hey, it's fine now. They've been really happy here," she reassured. That wetness grew "Don't cry, I mean it, they're so happy."
The wetness flopped between them followed by pain. Lots of pain. Delta pulled away as her arm tensed and ached from being stung a second time and Mariza was howling "It's On My Face! It's On My Face!"
The sharp pain of whatever was working it's way between them until settling in the gap created by it as they pulled away. Ab curled into a small ball of Jellyfish as they hmmed softly back to sleep.
The two women laid in the bed, sperated by a small and dangerous child. "Gods, I should have left you in the sea," Mariza grumbled as she rubbed her red cheek from being stung.
Delta laughed.
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vemuabhi · 3 years
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Monster trio + Law with S/O who loves taking pictures of lightning
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@ye-rin164​ asked :  i was thinking that if its possible for your write either a scenario or a HC ( what makes you comfortable) about The Monster Trio+ Law having an S/O who's into Storms Chasing, like she has the hobby of capturing awesome pics during thunderstorm and especially for lightings, like she never gets scared of going out on this bad weather just to admire it and get good pics, so maybe like once the gentlemen's happens to be free and wanted to know more about how she usually take these awesome pics , and once they see how she risky gets in danger just for a picture they get worried but she's like nothing happened its an awesome adventurous experience so they'd later feel proud about it👁️👄👁️
A/N : Its absolutely an amazing request Yui chan! Thankyou so much for requesting me for it! I loved writing for it!! And the picture you took is awesome!! I wrote them as drabbles if you dont mind! I hope you like it!
Zoro, Sanji, Law under the cut!
Word count : 1.3K
Warnings : Not proof read, but its all fluff so don’t worry!
MONKEY D LUFFY
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Oh my god! That’s so cool Y/N!!!
Luffy would be so damn smitten by your hobby of taking pictures of the lightning.
He’d be so impressed to see you in action and would crave for more of it!
He’d take your hobby to a next level and would jump with you in his arms towards the lightning. Yes he’d never let anything happen to you though. The man likes to be in risky situations always.
He’d be the absolute partner for the photography session for you!
Once he took you so close that his hair and your hair stood up because of the close range, indicating a lightning was about to hit you two.
Then the lightning struck you two, but Luffy was there to shield you and protect you! He is a rubber man after all. The lightning would have ZERO effect on him.
You’d inspect for any wounds but he’d give you a grin and say that he is totally fine and lightning had no effect on him.
After that you and Luffy definitely got a lecture from the Navigator and the snipper. Luffy even got some kicks and punches as he almost risked your life.
But you knew you could trust Luffy with your whole heart. That was one of the reason why, you got the absolute best capture of lightning ever.
RORONOA ZORO
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“Don’t go too far away! Wait for me! OYE Y/N!”
He’d become the overprotective boyfriend because of your interest in this hobby.
He’d be proud of the way you are being so daring while taking photos, but he’d also be worried because of the way you just go towards the lightning to take photos.
One day, Zoro thought it’d be great to take a nap as the weather was nice and sunny. After some time he woke up to the sound of thunder.
“What the hell?! it was all sunny just a while ago”, he’d think and would look for you, but you weren’t there, also your camera was missing. He suspected something like this would happen so he’d run in the rain looking at the lightning.
Then he’d find you taking pictures with your camera. He’d see how happy you’d look as you took pictures. Making him stop in his tracks.
Trust me, Zoro would forget that he should scold you for leaving without him. But… he’d just look at you. Mesmerised by the way you again run after the lightning.
What?! Running after the lightning again!!! His senses would come back after a while and would come to you and throw you over his shoulder and run away before the lightning hits you.
Zoro would run in the speed of another lightning with you still dangling on his shoulder. But you’d still get amazing shots of lightning anyway. In the way, if a lightning was about to hit, he’d repel the lightning away with a strong blow using his swords.
You never doubted Zoro’s skills and scenes like this made you to appreciate him even more!
“Nice one Zoro!”
“Hehe thank- IDIOT LETS LEAVE!!”, he’d still blush like a baby at your compliments.
These risky situations only made you people to fall in love even more and would stay memorable for you two!
BLACK LEG SANJI
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“My dear its dangerous so, Let me prote- Y/N! LET ME COME WITH YOU!!!”
He is really impressed by your hobby but would be terrified as hell because of the way you risk everything to take photos of the lightning.
For Sanji your hobby is amazing too. If he sees the pictures of the lightning you took, he’d be hella proud of you.
Ussop would never hear the end of how amazing your pictures are.
Sanji even brags about you with Zoro saying, “Hey moss head, did you see the pictures Y/N took the other day. You bet your ass, can’t even click one picture properly. Look at my love, so talented”.
Even though Sanji was proud of you, he would still be a bit scared. He tried to put on a brave front by saying he’d protect you, but his insecurities would make him think otherwise.
One day as he got to know that there was going to be a thunder storm. He started to look for you and you were already ahead of him. He asked that he want to come with you and you agreed.
As you take pictures, he would keep an eye on you and the thunder storm. Making sure it’s not getting bad.
Sanji loves to watch you as you take pictures. You seem excited and totally focused on your hobby.
You wouldn’t care about the rain drenching you head to toe. But Sanji was definitely worried about your health.
He gulped every time you look at your picture as you see it after clicking a picture. His heart started to beat faster, its like seeing you for the first time again for Sanji.
You were like an angel to him. No one could be compared to you. You are the one who seemed more beautiful than the nature herself to him.
In between his thoughts about you, he forgot to notice the thunder storm getting bad.
“Oh no! We have to go Y/N come with me”
He’d carry you like a bride and sky walk in an instant to get to safety. As he was doing that, you got the perfect angel from the sky to capture the most perfect you could.
As you both reached a safer area, you showed him the picture and jump on him to hug him. He blushed like hell that time.
“Thankyou Sanji!! I couldn’t have gotten this picture if you didn’t sky walk with me. Thankyou”, you said as you went closer to him and wiped the blood dripping from his nose.
Damn he thought and he still keeps on thinking he is absolutely blessed to have you.
TRAFALGAR D WATER LAW
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“Now?! You know you catch a cold everyti- FINE DON’T GO ALONE!”
Law would be totally worried about you going on your little adventures.
Law would be damn proud of the pictures you take but wouldn’t show it. But you knew he was proud because of the smirk he has when he sees your photos.
He even has some pictures you took, stuck on his work desk. Mostly it’ll be covered with paper works and documents but, you know how much he treasures them.
One time you went to him to tell him about going to take photos. He started telling you about how your health would be affected to stay in the rain for so long.
You didn’t care, he gave up and accompanied you on the little trip. The doctor was actually very happy. But he didn’t show his emotions.
Law liked to be beside you during this session always. He loved to see his lover get all spirited and hyped up. It felt happy to him see you happy.
You were the light in his dark life. Or at least he thought it every time he saw you. His life as a pirate captain doctor wasn’t easy. But you always looked like a ray of sunshine in his lonely life.
Seeing the storm getting closer to you people, he’d make sure to be ready to use his powers to leave ASAP.
As the lightning was about to hit, he used a rock to teleport to another place. Just in time.
“Law!”
“What now?”, he enquired only for to see your surprised expression as you looked at the photo you took. He leaned down and saw that, it was a beautiful photo of lightning.
“I love this. Thankyou Law”, you said as you hugged him. He blushed and returned the hug. He wasn’t really used to physical appreciation so he always got flustered whenever you hugged him.
‘Yeah… I love this dork’, he thought before he smiled and hugged you tighter. He loved you and you knew it even if he didn’t use his words. Because his actions always spoke to you.
XOXOXOXOXO
I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading it!
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ao3feed-fengqing · 16 hours
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the case of mutual devotion
by zoluarts "Since you're a Taoist master, I already know how to help you." Xie Lian asked him to continue, curious. The man then pointed north. "They are building new temples on the borders of Qingdao, around the city. I've heard that they're hiring guardians to take care of the temples for good pay. You should check it out." Xie Lian found the situation funny. One god being hired to maintain temples of another. Nor was he all that shameless. Still, he asked. "Who is the god worshipped there?" "It's not a god." The man laughed. "It's a ghost. The Ghost King Hua Cheng."   After the defeat of thirty-three heavenly officials, many temples are rising and many are falling. Job offers come and go. Xie Lian is a god. He never thought that at some point he would become the worshipper. Words: 6420, Chapters: 1/10, Language: English Fandoms: 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 天官赐福 | Heaven Official's Blessing (Cartoon), 天官赐福 | Heaven Official's Blessing (Webcomic) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi Characters: Xie Lian (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Hua Cheng (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Original Characters, Feng Xin (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Mu Qing (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Pei Ming (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Pei Xiu (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Ling Wen (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Shi Wudu Relationships: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Feng Xin/Mu Qing (Tian Guan Ci Fu) Additional Tags: Huā Chéng and Xiè Lián Invented Love, Huā Chéng and Xiè Lián are in Love (Tiān Guān Cì Fú), xie lian is in love, hua cheng is the god of xie lian, God Huā Chéng, Ghost Hua Cheng (Tian Guan Ci Fu), Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Matchmaker Pei Ming (Tian Guan Ci Fu), pei ming is not having a good week, Feng Xin and Mu Qing Being Idiots (Tian Guan Ci Fu), they hate hua cheng so much, Xianle Trio (Tian Guan Ci Fu), mu qing and feng xin think xie lian has gone crazy, maybe they are right, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence via https://ift.tt/VcJ0Bye
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