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heliodean · a year ago
What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?
Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.
Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:
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Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.
Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.
A list of what I’ll be discussing
The episode in regards to the rest of the season
The episode issues: length, editing
Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut
The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen
Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut
Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly
The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean
Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)
Walker, and why this episode had a major shift
Why the network would do this or get involved
Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked
This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.
The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season
So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.
These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?
This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.
And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.
Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.
Finale Issues
So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.
Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?
One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:
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This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?
It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.
Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.
Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut
Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.
So here’s what Min was given:
1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle
6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine
D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing
N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.
21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music
N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past
28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye
28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot
N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop. all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?
After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.
So.  Where are those 11ish shots?
PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:
As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.
It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.
The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen
So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.
I’m sorry, make it make sense:
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????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.
So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.
So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.
Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?
The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.
Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut
Okay, now into the juicy stuff.
So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?
Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.
Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.
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So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.
All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.
Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.
In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.
The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.
We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).
I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.
Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.
Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.
This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.
So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.
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You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”
Silence of the Cast Post Episode
So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.
The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.
Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?
He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 
None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 
My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.
You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.
Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.
Jensen Speaking with Kripke
So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.
I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.
But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.
So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”
Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.
Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?
Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”
It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.
I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.
Why Would the Network Get Involved?
Simply put: $$$
If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).
And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.
It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.
The Writers and What I Want
So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.
I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).
Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.
And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.
Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.
So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.
Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.
Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.
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cipheress-to-k-pop · 6 months ago
Hi, I absolutely adore your writing and it’s quite inspiring and making my imagination go WEEWOO!
Could I request something for YJ With Dick? So like a headcanon or one shot (which ever you prefer queen) where the reader is quite reserved, snarky and can get angry real fast. They have feelings for Rob and they are especially snarky to him to hide their feelings, but they eventually start to open up more and during the events of episode 24 (you know, the one at haly’s circus), they open up to him and they confess? And he does the same?
Flower Language
Pairing: Dick Grayson as Robin x Reader
Warnings: Blood and injuries and plant death.
Word Count: 3.8k words
A/N: This is kind of my take on the Hanahaki disease, kind of. This was so much fun to write honestly, I didn't realize I like all this floral stuff so much. It also reminded me of another 'True Love's Kiss' trope I wrote for Dick Grayson as well. Also I changed the episode this was based on because I’ve already done something based on the episode with Haly’s circus @hanbedumbaf I really really really hope you enjoy it! Sorry it was so late, I finished it a month back but it was in my queue.
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Adrenaline was a common feeling to you. A little too familiar. The life of a superhero puts you in peril more times than you would like but it was the only life you had known. You knew the familiar feeling of sweat forming on your skin and your heart pounding so loudly that you could hear it in every step you took.
However, when you heard the pounding, it was because there was a supervillain, usually hairy, chasing after you and determined to get your head on a stake.
Although, feeling your heart jump to your throat was becoming more familiar whenever you were around a certain someone. Robin annoyed you to no end, whenever he was around you couldn't help your face from growing warm and your lips from tingling to form a permanent smile on your face.
Having a crush was irritating, you couldn't think or even function without thinking of him. It was frankly humiliating, you were always so gung-ho about being bold and to the point and yet whenever you were around Boy Wonder, you couldn't help but bend your personality to something you felt like would appeal to him more.
Sometimes, you couldn't even stand yourself.
And so, as a pathetic act of rebellion, and maybe as a clear-cut sign that you had no idea how to handle emotions or anything similar to it, every time your heart got just a little soft, your tongue got a whole lot sharper. Probably not the best way to win a boy’s heart. But you weren't here for a romance story.
It was also a true sign that you had no idea how to flirt, thinking that borderline insulting witty banter was the way to go. Or perhaps it was a way of controlling your emotions, since being bitter and snarky was the thing that came easiest to you.
You seriously needed better tactics.
It was also your oblivious mistake thinking that Robin only saw what you wanted him to see. He was raised to be a detective, of course he was more observant than that. Papa (or let's be real, Alfred) didn't raise no fool.
You made the mistake of thinking Robin saw you as strong and independent and bold, just as the rest of them did. But he saw much more than that.
Robin was distressed by the number of crying faces around him, the kids were inconsolable which was understandable because of just how many things went wrong in the past couple of hours. To be quite frank, Robin was a couple seconds away from having a fit himself.
"Shh, little one," He heard distantly and his neck practically snapped. You were crouching in front of the few who were crying, with a small nurturing smile. It was the first time he had seen you out of uniform, usually referring to you as Antheia, named after the goddess of flowers, but this wasn't she.
"I know you're scared, my flowers, but I promise, we will find your parents." You soothed, gently wiping away their tears. They still looked up at you apprehensively and with uncertainty.
"I'll show you a magic trick." You began, grinning as the kids began to smile back at you. You pulled a seed out of your pocket and held it between closed hands, using a bit of your powers and felt it grow in your palms. When you revealed what you were holding, they collectively gasped.
A bud of a flower now rested in your hand. You smiled at their innocent eyes and held it to them, "Now I'm going to need your help for the next part. Everyone has to blow on the flower."
They nodded eagerly, crawling around you and on the count of three, everyone followed your instructions. And low and behold, the bud bloomed into a beautiful blossom right between your fingers.
One of the girls clamoured into your lap to hold the flower herself and you chuckled, wrapping your arms tightly around her, "You know what this flower means?"
They shook their heads, "It means faith, and hope. If you have faith and hope in us, then you'll get something beautiful in return."
For once, they look contemplatively and you chuckled, feeling pride at the fact that you managed to sow some wisdom in their minds. The girl that had been sitting in your lap turned in your grasp, with the flower in her hand and then reached up to tuck it behind your ear.
"For me?" She nodded happily and you smiled widely, kissing her cheek, "Thank you, petal."
Satisfied that you were able to calm them down, you gently placed the girl back on the floor before moving away from the group. Just as you were about to join the others, you ran into Robin. You didn't know he had just seen the whole thing.
Pulling the flower from behind your ear, you handed it to him, "You know in some cultures, this flower means to pick up the slack and stop looking like a confused chicken." You snapped.
Business as usual.
Robin looked back to the flower you had slipped into his hands, you had said it meant faith and hope, and you had given it to him. He looked back up to see you shuffling away from him quickly, a blush on your face. He smiled.
You were more nurturing and kinder than you let on, it was like it was programmed into your personality and yet you never showed it when you knew they were watching. That wasn't the only part of yourself that you were hesitant to show them.
And the more Robin observed you, the more he realized that you used flower language to depict a lot of your emotions. It was a silent way of letting them out, without having to tell other people what's really in your heart.
You thought you were sly about it, but nothing went under Robin's radar.
Everyone was watching a movie on the flat screen in the rec room. You hadn't realized you were so tired, the movie was boring, something that M'Gann had picked and you hadn't slept the night before, busy patrolling your city.
Your eyelids began to droop before you could even understand what was going on, your head lolling as you drifted in and out of consciousness.
Robin hadn't realized that he was napping through the movie until he felt a weight on his shoulder. He nearly jumped awake and glanced to his side to see you sound asleep, breathing gently. He nearly chuckled, was this what you looked like when you weren't scowling at everybody?
His heart skipped a beat, god, were you beautiful. The smell of flowers vaguely hit his nose and he noticed the red gardenia plant growing steadily in the corner of the room.
'Red Gardenias means a secret love,' Robin recalled from a book he had read, 'It's a secret way for someone to say I love you.'
He glanced back at you still sleeping peacefully, face completely relaxed and briefly wondered if your powers were taking the lead on your emotions and making gardenias grow around the cave. Or were you dreaming about something?
Something in his heart grew, here you were sleeping against his shoulder, making symbols of a secret love grow around the room. This had to be a sign of something, right?
Before he could contemplate it any further, you squirmed and then began to stir. Your eyes fluttered open, hazily taking in your surroundings before they landed on the boy beside you and widened in size, skin darkening with a blush.
"Why the fuck didn't you wake me up?" You snapped and turned on your heel to stomp out of the room without even waiting for a response from him. The others who noticed the way he was just staring at the place you were in surprise. You always do such a 180 when you're around him and conscious.
"Wow, sunshine's crabby in the morning." Wally commented from beside him. When he didn't get any response, he looked over to see Robin with a silly smile on his face.
Dick couldn't stop himself from grinning. The gardenias were still blooming.
"Antheia, do you think you will be able to stop the plants from growing any further?" Batman turned to face you, only to find you staring at him with a hazy, blank expression.
"Antheia?" Robin called but you didn't even flinch, your eyes were locked onto the holo-computer, seeing the thick vines that were twisting and turning. Their call was overwhelming, you could feel them grow even beneath your feet. It was like a siren was blearing through your head.
You couldn't tell what they were trying to say, it was like they were muffled. It was confused and lost, following Ivy and it was happy listening to her. And yet, it was feeling pain, the Justice League was busy pruning her as we speak. It was scared, crying out for someone to help them and you felt obligated to help. Your mind was getting heavy, throbbing with an oncoming migraine.
"(Y/N)!" Your eyes snapped open and focused onto the boy in front of you. Everyone was staring at you in concern and you blinked, suddenly not able to remember what the hell was going on. You were just trying to focus on something other than the screams and cries of the plant.
"......What?" You asked a little dumbly, noticing the concern on Robin's face. The plants were still crying. You couldn't get the painful sound of their screams out of your mind. You felt like curling up into a ball and crying.
"Batman asked if you would be able to stop the plants?"
"Oh, um, no." You answered in a distracted way that made his face pinch with worry. His hands were still grasping your shoulders tightly, keeping his face in close proximity to yours. You didn't even realize, too out of it to even notice.
Robin on the other hand felt his cheeks get uncomfortably hot the more you stared at him with those innocent, beautiful eyes of yours. If Batman hadn't been breathing down his neck, he was sure he would've kissed you in the moment.
Unfortunately for him, his dad always knew how to ruin the moment. And he would continue to for the rest of his life. Until death do them part. Even after the two of you grow up and live together, the Batman would find some way to interrupt your fun.
"The mission."
Oh. Right.
"Robin!" You screamed when one of Ivy's plants wrapped around his neck and slammed him against the trees. They didn't let up curling tighter around his throat. Fear struck you as he began choking from breath and you knew you had to do something.
Suddenly murderous intent took over you and you glared at Ivy who returned it with a smug smirk of her own. Oh, how you'd rip that smirk off her face.
"Okay Ivy, you wanna play? Let's play." You ground out, slamming your hands against the vine around Robin's neck and it began disintegrating beneath your fingers. He fell to the ground, gasping for breath and you tuned out the sound of the plant crying as it died beside him.
Ivy heard it just as loudly as you had, she screamed and more plants lunged towards the both of you.
"Go help the others! I'm about to snap this twig." You spat at Robin, using your powers to kill the roots as it reached you. It was working slowly, your powers weak to the pain of the plants around you. Even as every cell of your body told you not to, you clenched your fingers into fists and watched as the creeper feel to the marsh, dead.
You engaged in battle with Ivy. Plants were screaming for mercy all around you but you couldn't stop for even a second. Life around you was trembling but you had to keep fighting the villain in front of you because if you hesitated for even a second, many more would die.
Thorns scratched your skin, drawing blood and curled around Ivy, sinking barbs into her skin.
"Face it girlie! You're never going to overpower me!"
"Oh, I'm not trying to overpower you, just distract you long enough for Robin to get rid of the control system." You replied, just as smug as she had been at the start of the fight. Now you got to see her face melt into one of panic just as Robin jumped over her head and to your side with a grin identical to yours.
"Cover your ears!" He sang, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and ducking, covering your body with his own. You were grateful for it; you weren't sure you could even keep your body upright at the moment.
Then you heard the explosion and your heart stopped. Every single fibre of your body burned red hot fire as you heard screams and cries around you. Bile was crawling up your throat and your breathing got thin. They were sobbing a heart-broken wail and your eyes misted at the mere sound.
Without realizing it, you were gripping onto Robin's hand, brows furrowed together. The sound of the explosion cleared, the Injustice League was captured and he pulled you up to stand with the others.
It was silent for a moment. You had won.
And then the consequences of your actions hit you.
Everyone's necks snapped towards you when you let out a heart-wrenching sob. Robin, who was standing right next to you caught you just in time before your body hit the ground. Pain exploded in your chest as you began wailing against him.
"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! What's wrong?!" He panicked but you didn't respond, crying into his chest as you gripped his cape in an iron fist. Everything hurt and all you could feel was sorrow and guilt.
The other heroes crowded around you but your eyes were screwed shut, tears making your eyes sting. Robin held onto you tightly, pulling your body against his as you continued to cry.
"What's happening?" Artemis murmured, looking around to see the environment change before her eyes. Everyone else followed her lead to see how leaves began rotting, then the trees. The smell was pungent. Thorns and weeds were crawling up the dying trees, pulling them into the swamp.
"(Y/N) please, what's wrong?" Robin whispered in your ear but you couldn't hear him. The sounds of plants screaming and wailing was echoing through your mind. How they begged you to save them. How they begged you to stop.
And then it got hard to breathe, your chest constricted and you were wheezing. Robin had to watch in horror when petals and blood poured from your mouth. You were choking, throwing up and sobbing in his arms, and he was unable to do anything to help you.
"Flash get her to the Batcave." Batman said gruffly, he was shocked and worried for you but didn't say anything, not wanting to scare his son more, "Sending you the coordinates now."
"Alfred prepare the med-bay."
Dick watched with a sinking heart as he handed you into Flash's arms. It took him a few seconds for his mind to stop whirring, he was still kneeling in the swampy marsh when the team huddled around him.
"It's gonna be okay." Wally murmured, wrapping an arm around his shaking body.
"We just have to hope for the best."
When the others had gotten back to the Cave, you had just been moved there, after being looked over by Alfred. He joined you in the med-bay, wanting to keep an eye on you. But as of yet, you still had to wake up.
Dick wasn't supposed to be listening to the adult’s conversation, but he couldn't help himself, he had to know if you were going to be okay.
"The situation is undeterminable, sir. But as of now, the flowers that are clogging her respiratory system keep growing. If we don't find a cure for this, it's inevitable that she will suffocate and pass."
His heart stopped. Die? You couldn't die, not when he still had so many things to tell you. For so long, he hadn't told you of his feelings, wanting to keep the relationship between the two of you professional. But now more than anything, he wished he had said something.
There were so many things he didn't get to do with you yet. You had yet to give him a bouquet on your first date. He wanted to lay in bed with you, smelling fresh flowers as you told him what different plants symbolized. He had yet to see moments where you can't control your powers and make plants grow around the cave.
He hadn't even given you a flower yet.
"Rob listen, I did some research on this 'disease'." Wally said, falling into step with him, "It's called the Hanahaki disease."
"That's fiction Wal—"
"But that's the best we've got right now." Came his curt reply and Dick's heart clenched.
"Hanahaki disease is a fictional sickness that only occurs when someone is suffering from unrequited love. The victim will cough up flower petals that symbolize their love. This disease is only cured when the victim's feelings are romantically returned." Wally read off his phone before turning to Dick with a smile.
He raised a brow, "What?"
"You have to kiss (Y/N)!"
"Yep! You have to return her unrequired love!"
"Wally that's ridiculous, kissing someone doesn't cute anything."
"Well, it's the only thing we have. And for (Y/N), we need to try anything." He said, pushing him towards the med-bay. His voice was tight and tense, like he was holding onto his as his last hope and Dick prayed that it would work when the door of your room came into his sight.
You were asleep and if he hadn't known any better, he would've thought you were healthy. Wally closed the door behind him, leaving Dick alone with you. The only sound in was the beeping from your heart monitor and your light wheezing. It was getting harder to breathe.
Dick inched his way closer to you, watching as your eyelashes fluttered gently in your sleep. Leaning over the bed you were lying in; he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before moving his head in line with yours.
"God, please let this work." He whispered and your bottom lip was caught between his. It was feather-light but yet, electricity was buzzing through his veins and fireworks went off in his mind.
For a minute, nothing happened and his heart clenched in his chest before he kissed you a little harder. This had to work because they didn't have any other lead. Dick felt you exhale feebly against him and he almost gave up hope.
But then you took a deep breath, stealing the breath from his lungs and he pulled away quickly to see your eyelids fluttering open. The colour was returning to your cheeks and your eyes were sparkling up at him. You smiled gently and he blinked away tears of relief. Thank goodness.
'His eyes are blue' You thought, staring deeply into them. They were beautiful, alluring. You didn't know why but just looking into his eyes was addicting. Was this what it felt like to be so deep in love? That even his eyes were enough to captivate you?
"I'm so glad you're awake." He muttered, cupping your cheeks firmly and planting another kiss on your lips. You giggled lightly, heart overjoyed to find the boy you had been in love with for so long had returned your feelings and you responded to the kiss eagerly, placing your palms over his hands and leaning into him.
With your regaining strength, you felt a flower materialize in your hands. The stem between your fingers brought you comfort just as the scent of the flower brought you back life.
When Dick pulled away, you delicately slipped it into his hands and he turned his attention to it, blue eyes softening when he recognized this particular flower in his hands.
"It's an Aster." You whispered quietly, lips brushing against his and he chuckled. It was the only flower you thought of when he came to your mind, "Get it?"
Dick turned his eyes away from the blossom and looked at you again. Your heart jumped, noticing just how much love he held in them. Eyes you could swim in, overflowing with love for you. Suddenly you were overwhelmed, feeling adoration and attraction. You needed to be closer to him, even though he was pressed against you.
Your fingers curled into his collar and pulled him closer to you, slanting your lips over his in an open-mouthed kiss. Dick gasped against your lips, startled for no longer than a second before sinking against you and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer.
Your lips moved gently against his, the blushing flower trapped between both your bodies. The smell of fresh flowers clouded Dick's mind with everything that was you. Your hair, your smile, your lips. If you kept kissing him like that, he was certain he'd forget his own name.
And then you pulled away and Dick noted that you were as beautiful as a fresh flower. Your skin was glowing with life and your tired eyes were twinkling. You smiled sleepily at him, eyes closing shut and he lowered you back to the bed. Immediately, you slipped back into slumber, exhausted from the day's events.
He watched for a couple seconds, making sure you were able to breathe without any problems before realizing he should tell the others that you were okay.
He slipped out of the room quietly, stealing a final glance of you sleeping peacefully in the bed and a huge smile grew on his face, "She's awake."
It was only then he noticed just how colourful the room had gotten in the few minutes he was with you.
The walls were covered with vines and roses of different colours, camelias and carnations of different shades. It littered the room, not leaving a single inch of the wall untouched and scattered petals all over the floor like confetti.
Different creepers hung from the ceiling, dusting all the superheroes with sparkling pollen and colourful petals. Not to mention there were stems crawling up the Justice League members, flowers hugging their ankles lovingly.
Batman looked a lot less intimidating with petals in his cape and a rose stuck behind his ear. Robin blushed at the sight of everyone giving him knowing smiles.
"We noticed."
Aster: This flower became a symbol of love when in Greek mythology it was placed on the altars for the gods. So now, when you send a bouquet featuring this vibrant bloom, the message of "Take Care Of Yourself For Me" is implied. It conveys deep emotional love and affection for someone.
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uwuwriting · 11 months ago
De-aging w/Bakugou, Hawks and Kaminari
Request: hiiii, love your writing ❤️
can you do a “de-aging quirk with bakugou, hawks and kaminari?” 🥺
Okay I loved writing the first de-aging fic so yeah. They are all just too cute okay??? It’s not my fault I love them all!!!💖💖💖
masterlist II rules
warnings: fluff, some angst on Hawk’s part
Bakugou Katsuki 
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-Poor you.
-I’m so sorry you have to watch over him. 
-You were chillin in your dorm when Kirishima came pounding on your door, almost breaking it down. 
-You swear you felt the walls rattle. 
- “Y/N thank the gods! We have a problem. You see Bakubro and I were on patrol and everything was going fine but then this guy came out of an alley and-” 
-You lost track of what he was saying when you caught sight of the mop of spiky ash blonde locks glaring at you from behind his legs. 
-You and the toddler stared at each other for a solid five minutes before Kiri realized that you weren’t paying attention to him. 
-Snapping his fingers in front of your eyes, he motioned down to the kid, letting out a sigh as the huff the toddler let out. 
- “… creature is your lovely boyfriend! And as the dotting girlfriend you are the rest of the bakusquad has decided to leave the honors of babysitting to you. Congrats.” 
-He gently pushed the mini Bakugou into your room and was out of sight in no time, leaving you alone with the glaring four year old. 
-You had to  admit he was pretty cute, his baby fat hadn’t gone away giving him squishy cheeks that you really wanted to touch.
-On second thought he might bite your hand off if you even dared go near his personal space so you refrained from reaching down. 
- “Um...I’m Y/n-” 
- “I don’t care.” 
-The attitude oml. 
-It was…. A difficult afternoon to say the least. 
-It took you a solid two hours to get him to actually listen to you and move from his spot in the middle of your room and another hour to get him to do something with you. 
-Most of the time he had a frown on his face, although at times you could see the edges of his lips quirk upwards but he always caught you staring with a fond smile of your own. 
-That only resulted in a huff and that small grin being replaced by an even deeper frown. 
-He does warm up to you a tinnie tiny bit. 
-The Bakusquad decided to throw a movie night in Mina’s room since they finally agreed to help you with baby Katsuki. 
-They picked a Disney movie and made popcorn. 
-Everything was perfect except for the fact that Bakugou wouldn’t go near any of them. 
-Instead he remained next to you with his arms crossed. 
-He would only answer to your questions. 
-In general you were the only one baby BAkugou would talk to and it made the rest fo the squad salty. 
-Mina and Kaminari were whining half the time cuz he is a cute baby and why won’t he let them hug him. 
-Sero passed out at some point so he didn’t give much feedback. 
-Kirishima just wiggled his eyebrows at you saying something along the lines that even as a baby Katsuki still favors you over anyone else. 
-Bedtime was a nightmare. 
-He didn’t like the shirt you gave him even though it was his!
-He kept saying that it wasn’t an All Might shirt and he only wore the BEST T SHIRTS SINCE HE IS THE BEST.
-Somehow you get him to fall asleep but you can’t even cuddle him. 
-He is such a messy sleeper that you have been kicked in the ribs three times in the past fifteen minutes, so you just sleep on the floor next to him. 
-The next morning you find yourself underneath the heavy comforter of Katsuki’s bed, your boyfriend’s hand draped around your waist as his face is buried in your neck. 
-You don’t feel like getting up just yet and tbh, having Katsuki’s warmth is one of the best things a girl could ask for. 
“I know you are awake.” 
“I was trying to cuddle my fully grown boyfriend.” 
“We ain’t never speaking of this again, you hear me?”
Hawks/Takami Keigo 
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-No one brought him home. 
-He stumbled into your shared apartment, knocking a vase over in the process clutching his chest before collapsing to the floor. 
-He gave you a goddamn heart attack. 
-You thought he was hurt, that he was bleeding out but by the time you reached his side you were met with a pile of clothes. 
-Your husband had been disintegrated. 
-Let’s get an F in the chat. 
-You were frozen in shock as you stared at his hero costume, tears already building in your eyes as you grasped his jacket to your chest. 
-Then something started moving underneath his black shirt and you riled back, afraid of what could be waiting to jump at you. 
-Your heart almost came out of your mouth when a set of amber eyes met your tiny fists holding the fabric close to the boy’s body as he stared at you in utter fear. 
-It took you both a fat minute to get your wits about you, the mini Keigo puffing out his wings in what could be only interpreted as defense. 
-He didn’t look intimidating at all, the fluffiness of his tiny red wings made you want to squish him even more. 
-You made to take a step towards him but he flinched away, backing himself up and resting on the far wall of your apartment’s doorway a slight tremble wracking through his small body as he continued to watch you like a hawk *pun intended*. 
-Raising your hands in surrender, you gave him a small smile before asking if it was okay to go near him. 
- “It’s okay Keigo I won’t hurt you I promise.” 
-At the sound of his name he perked up a bit and with a tiny nod he let you come closer, the wariness in his eyes still present. 
-Taking a good look at him he didn’t appear a day over four. 
-Plush baby cheeks and bright amber eyes, thin arms and really slender fingers paired with a set of puffed little red wings. 
-Taking his little fist in yours, you coaxed him into relaxing his fingers giving him soft smiles and words of reassurance as you pulled him from under the pile of clothes and into your arms. 
-At first he was really stiff and you were half expecting him to thrash around in an attempt to escape your hug but he didn’t. 
-Instead he relaxed in your embrace, nuzzling into your neck as his fingers grasped the feather that hung around your neck.
-Giving him a kiss on his forehead, you gently got up and made your way to your bedroom, picking out an outfit that wouldn’t be that big on him. 
-Once he was dressed you carried him to the living room, asking him small questions in order to understand what had happened. 
-When he wouldn’t answer anything though you just turned on the TV, switching to the news channel in hopes of finding your answers there. 
-Just as the reporter began talking about the incident, Keigo’s stomach growled making the poor kid curl into himself in shame. 
- “You hungry big guy? How about some chicken nuggets.” 
-The yes followed by an excited chirp was the first time you heard him speak since he turned and it made your heart squeeze in your chest. 
-Keigo had shared his past with you; you knew about his family life prior to the hero commission and seeing him acting so shy and closed off, which was nothing compared to the grown up version of Keigo, made you almost burst into tears. 
-Picking him up agai, you kissed his cheek and made your way to the kitchen. 
-Much to your dismay he was back to normal right before bed, the clothes that you had lent him now stretching tightly over his muscles.
“So…. um …. Hi?”
“I want a mini Keigo.” 
“I can do that.” 
Kaminari Denki
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-Ha you weren’t even the one babysitting him. 
-You just happen to run into Mina and Sero who were trying to calm down a five year old that LOOKED like your boyfriend. 
-The kid was crying as small sparks left his fingertips, Mina and Sero frantically looking back and forth for any sort of distraction to get him to stop wailing. 
-You were ready to do a 180 and leave the room when Mina spotted you and shoved you towards the toddler. 
-It did break your heart seeing a baby cry like that but judging by the other two “adults” in the room you didn’t want to get involved. 
- “Mina the hell?” 
- “He likes you more than us!” 
- “Yeah! He likes you when he is a teenager, he will like you as a baby!” 
-Wait ….what.
-Once you were in front of him they both bolted out of the room, faint yells for Bakugou and Kirishima echoing through the halls as they pounded towards the common room. 
-Mini Denki did stop crying once he saw you but you could still see the remnants of tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. 
-Then his lips started to quiver and now it was your turn to panic. 
-But unlike the other two idiots you had a few brain cells left so you simply leaned down to his height and cooed at him. 
- “Shh hey it’s just me. See? It’s just Y/N, Mini Denki, everything is gonna be alright.” 
-I swear you saw his eyes droop at the sound of your voice. 
-Now after that initial encounter he was attached to your hip. 
-Soon enough he grew out of his shell and wouldn’t shy away from your classmates as they came to take a look at the situation. 
-He was laughing and running around the common room like there was no tomorrow, always grabbing your leg once he was done chasing Kirishima. 
-As much as a cute baby he is, he is a nightmare to take care of. 
-He might like hanging around you but that doesn’t mean he will listen to you. 
-In a single hour he had managed to enrage Bakugou to the point of accidental quirk activation, get Todoroki into a new conspiracy theory, make Midoriya malfunction and Mineta getting tied up. 
-You don’t know how he managed to do all that in an hour. 
-You and the rest of the Bakusquad were desperately trying to calm Bakugou down and get a hold of the little blond devil. 
-In the end you managed to catch him when he accidentally used his quirk and short circuited. 
-He saw a spider crawling next to him and electrocuted both himself and the spider.
-He was in his dumb phase for the rest or the afternoon so everyone relaxed a bit. 
-When it was time for bed, the whole Bakusquad *yes Bakugou included* had a sleepover in Denki’s room.
-You all took turns trying to put him to sleep up to the moment a large cloud erupted from underneath your boyfriend and suddenly he is standing there at his full height, clothes being a little too tight on him now. 
-This idiot I swear to god you questioned your whole ass relationship from this dumb action, started posing and saying what a scandalizing position this must be for all of you. 
-Sero tapped him to the ceiling and the rest of you watched Coco like humans with an actual brain. 
“You liked having baby me around huh?”
 “No, no I did not.”
“You want me babies now?”
“Not in this life time.”    
@the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @storage11037​ @ezoyscorner​ @letscheereachotheron​ @wolfkid22​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​ @threeamwriting​ @ysatrap​ @yashinosakura @belladonna-coven​
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fruitcoops · 6 months ago
I'm not the anon that asked about Remus and subspace/aftercare but I'd love to see more of it if/whenever you would like/have time💜 The way you write these things is so respectful, loving, and comforting and I love it so much!
Thank you so much, anon! I hope everyone who requested this enjoys it <3 Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!
TW for implied smut (not super explicit), nudity, aftercare, subdrop/ subspace, restraint, tears (the good kind)
“Easy,” Sirius murmured into the sweaty skin of Remus’ neck, holding him close as he splayed his hand over Remus’ belly. The muscles jumped under his palm and a shudder ran through him as he scrambled for a clumsy hold on Sirius’ arm and shoulders. “Re, easy.”
A hoarse whine slipped out beside his heaving breaths and he let out a low moan when Sirius adjusted his grip to keep him upright. “More,” Remus begged, grinding his hips back even as he shook through the aftershocks. “More, more, more—“
“You’re done,” Sirius interrupted gently, pressing a kiss to the junction of his neck and shoulder.
Remus shook his head frantically. “No, no, I can do it, I gotta, no, please.”
“You’re done.” Sirius leaned back to take more of his weight despite the fact that he was practically holding Remus already. He slid the arm locked across Remus’ chest up to brush the damp hair from his eyes and guided his head to lay back against Sirius’ shoulder. “Deep breaths for me, just like that. In and out.”
“I can’t,” Remus panted, swallowing hard as he gripped Sirius’ thighs weakly. “Baby, please, just—just let me—one more time, just one more.”
“I’m sorry.” A tear squeezed from the corner of his eye, following the path of many from the throes of pleasure that had left him gasping in the way Sirius loved. “Fuck, it’s always so much. ‘m tired, and ‘m horny.”
Sirius kissed his cheek and ran slow fingers through his curls until Remus went boneless into his chest with a punched-out sound; he closed his eyes and snuggled into Sirius, rubbing his cheek along his collarbone. “There you go,” he praised quietly. Slipping into subspace wasn’t super common for either of them, but when it did happen, Sirius was only too happy to help him through it.
If his memory served, Remus’ adrenaline would finally be draining and the steady slide into the land of the living was beginning. His own drop was a little different, but he recognized the signs well enough. “Love you,” Remus managed, watching him with hooded, adoring eyes. “Love you. Y’know I love you, yeah?”
“I do,” he assured him, laying back to pull Remus onto his chest—they were entangled almost instantly as Remus mouthed aimlessly along his chest and shoulders. Teeth sank into the ridge of his collarbone. “Ouch.”
“Sorry,” Remus mumbled, snuggling closer. His hair was a mess from both their hands and his lips were swollen red, sure to be chapped when the shine faded. Sirius felt guilty for half a second before remembering that Remus was the one who bit his own lips when he got close. And, fuck, had he been close.
“How are you feeling?” He inspected the light scratch marks on his forearms as Remus’ heartbeat went from rabbit-quick to just-worked-out. Maybe we should have chosen a different position for the end, he thought, then shook his head. Marks on his forearms would be less likely to get chirped than ones on his back.
“How can I help you?”
Remus made a face, but didn’t open his eyes. His thigh was slick and tacky where it rested on Sirius’ hip. “Warm. Uncomfy. Don’t wanna go.”
That was the hardest part of aftercare, in Sirius’ opinion. Remus’ accent was pretty mild most of the time, but it came out full force after something intense and the small fragments of words rarely connected with Sirius’ limited English as his own brain came back online. Still, it was the least he could do after Remus worked him through five straight minutes of rambling French each time he dropped.
“Water,” Remus sighed, toying at the sheets with a trembling hand. “Sticky.”
“I’ll get a washcloth when you’re ready.”
“Take m’ with you.”
Sirius laughed softly and kissed his forehead, pushing the heel of his hand along Remus’ spine to work out any knots or stiffness. His knees ached, and he wasn’t even sure if he could carry his own weight before a few moments of rest. “I can’t carry you yet, mon coeur.”
“Sexy nickname. Sexy times.” Remus hitched his leg up over Sirius’ hip with great effort. “More?”
“Not right now, sweetheart.” A dopey smile spread over his face and Sirius felt a well of affection bloom in his chest. Remus hummed, running his thumbs over the middle of Sirius’ ribs. “Good job. Are you coming down a little more?”
“I’m going to keep holding you, then get a washcloth, then some water, okay? But I’m not going anywhere right now.”
“I know. We’ll fix that in a minute or so. Was that good?”
Remus squirmed around until his front was pressed against Sirius side, sharing their radiating warmth. “Real good.”
He traced the outline of his mouth with the pad of his thumb and smiled when Remus nipped at it. “Your lips look sore.”
“Next time, we should remember to use a gag if I’m not keeping an eye on you.”
Remus looked up at him eagerly, his gaze clearing of some of its fogginess. “Yeah, yeah, for sure.”
“How’s the rest of you?” Sirius watched him carefully as he straightened all his limbs with a heavy sigh, making faces here and there. “Nothing too bad?”
“Knees hurt, but I like it. Fingers are a little sore.” Mischief flickered over his face. “Ass hurts.”
“Color me shocked,” Sirius deadpanned, drawing a snort from him. “It wasn’t too much?”
Remus shook his head and stretched; his back arched, then popped, and he flopped back down with a contented noise. “Nope.”
“You look better now.”
He raised an eyebrow and rolled to face Sirius, bringing him closer with a hand on his cheek. “I needed that.”
Sirius nuzzled their noses together. “Any time, mon loup.”
They had moved well past adrenaline, latent arousal, and dizziness, and he was willing to bet Remus would be okay in bed alone for longer than a minute or two soon. The stress of a week of back-to-back interviews from people questioning every aspect of Remus’ life as the new rookie had just built and built and built until he had snapped over dinner, his rare temper flaring up before he looked Sirius dead in the eyes and all but demanded to be fucked until he couldn’t think about anything else.
“Way-it,” Remus said into the skin of his shoulder. Sirius hummed in question and felt a hand pull at his waist. “Weight, please.”
Sirius gathered him close and maneuvered until he could press down on Remus without making him feel trapped—my own personal weighted blanket, Remus teased. “Better?”
He felt the steady rise and fall under him and the buzz of a happy sound in his neck. Remus always got cuddly once he was done with the desperation and the confusion; that was the part that stuck around longest, and if Sirius was being honest, his favorite part of the whole process. For someone who was usually so ambiguous about physical contact, he could be wonderfully tactile.
There was a fine art to making sure the transition was as smooth as it could be—it was a team effort, despite the fact that Remus was fairly out of it for the first half. Sirius rubbed his back to get his attention and rested their foreheads together. “I’m going to get a washcloth and water, d’accord?”
Remus held him tighter.
“Re.” He trailed his finger along the slope of his nose, then tilted his chin up. “I need you to trust me. I’ll be right back for snuggles, but you’re sticky and we’re both dehydrated.”
Rebellion and familiar stubbornness sparked up. “No.”
“Three minutes. You can time me.” God, I hope that’s enough time.
“Stay with me.”
“You were just telling me you were uncomfortable and sticky.”
“Take me with you.”
“My legs are tired.” He combed both hands through Remus’ hair and watched his eyes, still a little red from tears and exertion, flutter slightly closed from the feeling. “Three minutes, and then I promise I’ll be right here. Do you trust me?”
Slowly, Remus nodded, and his hold released.
“Thank you.” Pull it together, Sirius reminded himself as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, using the edge as a crutch for a brief moment. His muscles begged to be left alone on the bed with Remus, but they both needed to get cleaned up before sleeping and Sirius really had to pee. Who knew holding a 180-pound hockey player in place as he shook and writhed would take so much effort?
Sirius. Sirius knew. And it had absolutely been worth it.
He rinsed his face in the sink and ran the damp washcloth over his arms—the scratches didn’t sting, but they were fading to a nice pinkish crosshatch with small lilac bruises where Remus’ fingertips dug in as he finally came, clinging to the forearm that held his back to Sirius’ chest. Without Sirius’ other arm applying pressure to his hips while his hand moved tight over his shaft, Remus would probably have slid right down onto the duvet in a puddle of endorphins.
“Stay awake,” Sirius reminded him as he entered their bedroom once again and settled into his old spot to lean Remus against his ribs so he could drink.
“I’m—” He cleared his throat and took a sip. Remus wasn’t much of a howler or moaner, not like Sirius, but his babbling and breathless sobs of overwhelming pleasure had certainly done a number on his throat. “I’m awake.”
“You sound stronger and look more like you.” Sirius stabilized his chin between his thumb and pointer, carefully wiping Remus’ face clean with the small towel; some of the frazzled edges smoothed out, and soon he just looked tired. Settled. Sated.
Those were all good things in Sirius’ book as he washed away some of the mess along Remus’ thighs once the tear tracks were gone. They would need to shower later, but he didn’t think either of them could stand long enough at the moment, and a bath would quickly turn into a nap. “You’re so good to me,” Remus whispered.
“Because I love you and you deserve good things.” He set his supplies aside and relaxed into the pillows, pulling Remus down with him. “Are you okay with not seeing my face at the end?”
“Yeah. It’s nice to change up sometimes.” His thumb moved in curling patterns over the light, mouth-shaped bruises littering Sirius’ skin. “You’ll tell me if I go too far, right?”
Sirius smiled and turned so they were face-to-face. “That’s my line.”
“You’re always bruised.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I really like it.”
“Kinky motherfucker,” Remus teased, poking his sternum. Sirius didn’t protest, just admired the grounded look on his face and the happy post-orgasm glow that rose high on his cheeks. “You’re staring again.”
“I stare at you all the time. You’re too pretty not to be looked at.”
Remus smiled, slinging a leg over Sirius’ hip and drawing him closer with an arm around his ribs; callused fingers tapped in random rhythms between his shoulder blades, and Sirius let the tension flow from his whole body. This is what people mean when they say ‘warm and fuzzy’, he thought sleepily, sinking into a gentle kiss from plush lips. The drop could be difficult to navigate sometimes, but it was always, always worth it to melt together at the end.
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swellsweaters · 7 months ago
HC ~ Cuddling
Tsukishima, Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Yamaguchi x reader (gender neutral)
[WARNINGS : some cussing (not characters, just me being me) || tooth-rotting fluff || mentions of love-marks]
A/n: my dog has been playing with a fly for the past 15 minutes and my heart- mY HEART I TELL YOU!! he was just chasing him around. today was a good day:)) aNYWAYS, i’m 90% sure u guys have figured out who my favs are lmaooo
enjoy yo selves loves :))
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::Tsukishima Kei::
Cuddling restrictions will be lifted when you two are alone. But, you have to be the one to initiate the session, bc he will n o t do it for you - if you want his affection, you’ll need to work for it. He’s a touch-starved brat like that but you still love him-
Four-eyes, when he gets in the mood, won’t let you go once you start cuddling. You’ll have to learn how to pick your poison : cuddle BUT no getting out of it, or, no cuddles bc your boyfriend’s a tsundere.
HE. IS. A. GOD TIER. BIG. SPOON. He just knows where to hold you to make you all sleepy. There’re no words spilling from his mouth during these moments, but he’ll let you talk if you want and he’ll lie there with you, listening.
The exact moment where he feels you being lulled to sleep, he is t e r r i f i e d of waking you up. He’ll honestly feels really guilty if/when this does happen, but he’ll eventually learn to just cuddle in further with you. 
Tsukishima won’t fall asleep until you’ve done it first - he feels like he won that way.
he’ll make it into a competition one way or another pbbfft
When you wake up from your nap together, you bet he’s gonna be a snarky lil shit about it >:( “oh~ someone looks like they’re well rested?” Trusted me, he enjoyed it just as much as you, but it’ll be one cold day in hell before he admits it.
Once you’ve opened up these doors in your relationship, he’s taking advantage of it. This dude. tHIS DUDE, pouts like a kicked puppy (in his own Tsukishima way) if you don’t pick up on his cues. Like he’ll stare at you an unhealthy amount until he gets his daily cuddle session. 😗 😗
This is your clingy baby now. Go. Go and tend to his majesty.
A sleepy Tsukki is a death trap. He has an iron grip on you at all times when you two nap together - he’s a middle blocker for god’s sake, he’s not letting you go. No matter what. There could be a serial killer outside and he’d care less. At least he gonna die cuddling.
Soft-boi neck kisses. Just littering the crevasses and soft patches of your skin, maybe even leaving a gentle bloom of a rose on your collarbone - it’s not even in a s3xual way. 
He’s soft for you, and you alone.
::Kuroo Tesurou::
omg show him an ounce, a crumb of human affection and he’s a goner 🤠
Cuddling with him more looks like you two lying face to face. Not exactly cuddling, but got one hand on yer waist, the other laying as a head rest. 
Facing each other at all times is a must - it’s the first thing he sees both when he falls asleep and wakes up. Presses soft, fluttering kisses all over your face, never forgetting an inch anywhere.
KUROO WILL NOT, I REPEAT, WILL NOT HIDE WHEN HE’S IN DESPERATE NEED OF LOVING. He’ll whip out the puppy-dog eyes, annoying the hell outta you with the amount he’s whining and clinging to you, b e g g i n g  for a spare minute hours of your time for him. So I don’t think I need to clarify who initiates the cuddles smh.
kuroo: “Don’t you love me??🥺 🥺 ”
you: “Sometimes.”
kuroo: 😔 🤟 “Not everyone can be gangster…”
Feels so accomplished when he doesn’t intend for you to fall asleep, but you do anyway. His tummy gets those cheesy butterflies - he’s biting his lip to keep from dancing around the room like he just won the olympics. Instead, he pulls himself closer, tucking your head under his chin so he can smirk as freely as he pleases. 
He too, is such a tease when you concede and finally come to offer him some much needed affection: “just couldn’t resist me, could you~” Sir please, let the poor thing shower you with love in peace. smack him 
If you think he’s clingy at this point, you’re not ready for when you need to actually get up. He does a full 180° again, reverting back to how bad he was at the very beginning. 
You can’t win. At all. You have that time to cuddle, but anything before or after is basically you babysitting him. (He’s very different person around you, istg) 
Otherwise, 10/10 would recommend.
::Iwaizumi Hajime::
Iwa is like a personal weighted blanket. But except human & will restrain your every given movement. Look, he’s heavy and he knows it. Yes he will absolutely uses it against you.
He’s gonna be the one who initiates the cuddling for sure. The man’s is blushing but he just wants his cuddles at any means necessary.
Will only lay on top of you and bury his face in one of three places: your neck, your tummy, or your hip - aka, his favourite. Please, he’s snuggled up so innocently against you like wtf he was going to murder Oikawa early that day??? Don’t tease him about his being soft, he will straight up LEAVE like: 👋 🚶💨
Let’s you sleep on him every once in a while though - if y’all watching a movie on the couch (obviously watching a horror movie bc he totally wasn’t hoping you’d cling to him… at ALL) he’ll have a beefy arm around your shoulder
Anywhere is fair game with him. One moment you’re peacefully attending an online class, the next thing you know you’re  w h e e z i n g underneath all the gd pressure of his body, making him smile into the crooks of your form, holding you tighter.
When you get distracted by something, getting lost in thought, he’s discreetly pressing smol pecks across your temple of a bod - he’s praising you in all your glory - but quickly pretending like he’s been sleeping the entire time when you ground yourself again.
On a particularly bad day, he’ll duck his head under your shirt/hoodie and poke his head out at the top so you can whisper sweet nothings into his hair, melting his worries away in an instant. 
You’ve caught him fast asleep more than once, I guarantee. If you’re preoccupied with something else at that time, he’ll throw you over his shoulder bc “i think the tf not, y/n >:[ get yo ass in bed!!”
He’s a small spoon. sMOTHER HIM WITH LOVE. He’s clingy as ever living frick after y’all have had food as well :) just saying… 🤫 😉
::Yamaguchi Tadashi::
You’re just gonna sit there and tell me to my face this man doesn’t have a FINE ASF playlist curated strictly for when y’all cuddle? Look my in the eyes and tell me he doesn’t. I dare you. He’s got a YouTube, Ad free playlist pulled up, on loop. Lofi-beats, soft rock, whatever you want. He’s got it gently playing in the background. His genius is for this playlist and this playlist only. He’s up at 3am wondering aloud “i wonder if y/n like this song or not..” He put so much effort in it >:(
Tbh, he’s too nervous he’ll make you uncomfortable to ask in person, so he’ll send you the link as a hint of what he wants to do. Eventually, he’ll be able to ask you naturally once the relationship evolves :)
Not really that clingy, although when he wants to cuddle when you’re there with him, he’ll give a back hug and ask if you two can go to his couch/room. Very very, subtle~~ ish
Both of you, lying your back, hands interlocked, sharing earbuds = heaven. As the cuddle session progresses, both of you are entangled together. If you end up snuggling his chest, he’ll never live it down. Ever. It makes him feel so protective and strong :D
When he thinks you’re sleeping, he’ll turn on his side, tracing nameless shapes into your skin, occasionally tapping the the beat of the song with his finger. soft hours oNLY
Hums along with the song playing, not too loud as to disturb you, genuinely enjoying himself. 
If his confidence is especially higher that day, he’ll try and actively fluster you by leaving hickies up and down your body ;)) He’ll look at you lovingly like the masterpiece you are when he’s done painting you in red, blue and purple - yeah he’s whipped for you.
Beneath his salt, there’s sweet… deep, deep down-
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ragingbookdragon · 7 months ago
I'm Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 2
Batfamily x Batsis Story!
Word Count: 2.7K Warnings: Explicit Language and Angst!
Author's Note: It's amazing how much one can write when they've got a story to tell, eh? Enjoy! -Thorne
Set Three Years After PT. 1:
Life for her revolved around work in the A.M. and community college in the P.M. If she wasn’t brewing cappuccinos and baking apple turnovers, she was writing research papers and taking physics exams. It was hectic and it was hard, much harder than anything she’d done, but it was her life, and she was going to make the best of it. The money she’d taken from her savings account had only lasted her long enough to get a decent one bedroom one bathroom apartment in a small complex and the rest went towards tuition. The coffee shop two blocks from her building had fortunately been looking for a new hire when she arrived, and she took the chance where it was, not going to look the gift horse in its mouth.
The life she lived now was a complete 180 from her old one. Back then, she didn’t have to work (though she did at a high-end department store in the mall—her father got her the job but at least she had one) and there wasn’t anything she couldn’t get with a swipe of a credit card. Now she was on a budget that consisted of five and ten tips and the last time she actually bought a new pair of shoes over a hundred dollars had been last year when she needed them for an interview, and even then, it cost her a limb.
Everything was so different, but she didn’t want to go back, preferring to be on her own and away from Gotham. From the newspapers and media, her family had convinced the world that she’d taken a few years to go overseas and spend time in Europe. A mental reprieve, they’d called it. Partially true if she was honest, but she wasn’t going to open her mouth about it lest they learned where she was. She didn’t go through all that trouble to be found within three years.
Maybe I should move again?
Moving would take a long time but it would be effective.
Someone grabbed her arm over the counter, and she jerked with a start, eyes widening as she finally realized someone was standing in front of her.
“Barry?” she asked, and he smiled.
“Finally,” he snorted. “I’ve been calling your name for like ten minutes now.”
She felt a flush creep along her cheeks, and she smiled apologetically. “Sorry, I was thinking about something. Usual?” she murmured, marking a disposable coffee cup with a marker.
Barry nodded with understanding and handed her a credit card. “I hear you. How’s studying going for that physics exam?” His blue eyes darted to the science book she had sprawled over the counter.
“It’s going,” she muttered and turned, starting to mix together his latte. “I still can’t get the thermodynamic laws down. They’re a bit confusing.”
“Yeah, it’ll take a while. You know if you need my help, all you gotta do is ask, right?”
Shrugging, she glanced at him as she poured. “You’re a busy man, Barry. I can’t have you trying to help me while trying to solve cases too.”
Barry chuckled and accepted the freshly poured latte. “I’m an excellent multitasker, Melisandre. Besides, you don’t have to worry about it messing with my work.” She opened her mouth to retort but he cut her off. “Seriously, shoot me an email about whatever questions you’ve got, and I’ll take a look at ‘em, okay?”
Her eyes narrowed warily, and she inquired, “You’re sure it won’t interfere? I’d hate for you to get in trouble for working on non-work-related things.”
“I promise, Melisandre,” he smiled and accepted a bag of apple turnovers too. He couldn’t help but pull one out and bite into it, letting out a delighted noise. “God, what do you put in these things? They’re phenomenal.”
She giggled and winked as he handed her a twenty. “A baker never reveals her secret, but if you really want to know, I use a little vanilla extract.”
Barry shook his head with a chuckle and started making his way to the door. “See you later, Melisandre!”
Waving at him, she called, “Bye Barry! Take care!”
Just as he opened the door, he stopped and spun around, suddenly asking, “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?”
Blinking, she glanced at the physics book then back to him. “Well, I was going to be studying for the exam…why?”
“My nephew is in town and I wanted to introduce him to you. I’ve already mentioned you a bunch of times and he wants to meet you.”
Her face pinched. “Barry Allen, what did you tell that poor boy?”
He stuck his tongue out at her. “That there’s a lonely college student who has no friends but has the greatest baking abilities in the world.”
“I cannot believe you told him I had no friends! Why!”
“You don’t.”
“Well, yeah! But still! You don’t just tell someone that! It makes me seem like there’s something wrong with me!”
Barry waved a hand. “Relax. Wally’s the least jerky person you’ll meet.” He smiled. “You’ll like him.”
She frowned. “I still don’t think this is a good idea, Barry.”
“Why not?”
“Well, he’s here to see you and your wife, not come meet the person who feeds your apple turnover addiction.”
The blonde’s cheeks turned a dark shade of crimson and he spluttered, “It is not an addiction!” he spun around and marched through the door. “I’ll send him over tomorrow! Bye!”
And he left before she could even say a word.
It had to be hieroglyphics. It was either that or some ancient cuneiform he’d recently taken up interest in, because there was no way whatever he’d written on the paper was English.
She cocked her head to the side, muttering, “Jesus Christ, Barry, did you write this on a caffeine bender? Your writing is like chicken scratch.” She tipped her head to the other side trying to decipher it when someone leaned over her shoulder.
“Which problem do you need help on?” they asked, and she pointed to the sheet.
“I have no idea what that says.” She turned and saw a red-haired stranger. “If you think you can, be my guest.”
He took it and read over it a moment, green eyes scanning over the page then he said, “Let’s see, he wrote first, ‘The third law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of a system at absolute zero is a well-defined constant. This is because a system at zero temperature exists in its ground state, so that its entropy is determined only by the degeneracy of the ground state.’”
Pausing, he scanned it again and added, “Then he marked a note beside it and wrote, ‘In simplistic terms, if an object reaches the absolute zero temp. of (0 K = -273.15C = -459.67°F), its atoms will stop moving. In other words, at absolute zero, the entropy of a perfectly crystalline substance is zero.’”
Glancing at her, he smiled. “Make sense now?”
She huffed and nodded, taking the sheet back. “Yeah, thanks. I don’t even know how you managed to get all that from his writing.”
He nodded. “Yeah, Barry’s handwriting is deplorable.”
Her eyes went wide, and she immediately questioned, “How did you?”
Sticking a hand out, he greeted, “Wally West. I’m Barry’s nephew.”
Shaking his hand, she couldn’t help but laugh. “I can’t believe he actually told you to come up here and meet me.” A smile came across her lips. “I’m Melisandre Hale.”
“That’s a pretty name, Melisandre.”
“Thank you,” she grinned and waved him to one of the bar-stools on the adjacent side of the counter. “Have a seat and I’ll get you something to eat and drink.” As she slid behind the counter, she inquired, “Anything specific?”
Wally stared at the bored, offhandedly mentioning, “Barry said something about apple turnovers that could make you cry with joy, so I’ve gotta have one of those.” His evergreen eyes met hers. “Maybe two if I’m being honest.”
She grunted, but a grin crossed her lips, nevertheless. “Barry exaggerates a lot, Wally. They’re good, but they’re not mind-blowingly good.”
“Then I guess that leaves me to be the judge,” he countered with a smirk. “What should I drink?”
She thought for a moment then offered, “Have any judgments about drinking before five o’clock?”
He let out a startled laugh and shook his head. “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”
With a grin, she turned and started working her magic and a moment later, she was sliding a plate with two iced apple turnovers over along with a clear steaming mug of dark coffee with cream on top. She leaned her hip on the counter and watched him pick up one of the apple turnovers and take a bite.
Immediately his eyes went wide, and he exclaimed, “Holy shit.” He gaped at her. “This is delicious, Melisandre!”
Despite herself, her cheeks warmed, and she gave him an easy smile. “Thanks, Wally.” She nodded to the crystal mug. “Try the Irish coffee.”
He did so and tossed his head back, letting out an exaggerated groan that had her laughing until her stomach hurt. Wally was on his second turnover and he looked at her.
“You’ve gotta open up a bakery or something, Melisandre. Your pastries are awesome.”
She huffed and took the plate from him as he finished the last bite. “Let me get through college first and then I’ll wonder how to rack up enough to open a shop.”
“What are you studying?”
Pausing, she tossed a quick glance at him. “There’s no specification right now. I’m just doing general studies to get all the basics out of the way.” She put the dish in the sink and started rinsing it. “I’m at the four-C right now.” His brows pulled together, and she added, “Central City Community College.”
He snapped his fingers. “Right! It’s been a while since I went to the four-C.”
Her eyes found his and she curiously asked, “Did you go there?”
“Yeah, a few years back.”
“You don’t look that much older than I am. How old are you, Wally?”
He sipped his coffee and set it down as he replied, “I turned twenty-eight a month ago.”
“Happy belated birthday,” she smiled, and he gave her one in return.
“Thanks. How about you?”
“I turned twenty-one a few months ago.”
“Hmm, happy belated birthday to you as well.” He grinned, quipping, “How’s it feel to finally be able to legally do all the things you were doing before you turned twenty-one?”
She shot him a look. “Shame on you, Wally West, for assuming I was doing illegal things.” He chuckled and she shrugged. “But to answer your question, it feels great, so thanks.”
Wally snorted at that. “My best friend and I got absolutely hammered on our twenty-firsts and swore to never drink hard liquor again after we woke up in the bathroom in our underwear after passing out on the floor.”
A shudder passed over her at her own memory of waking up beside the toilet after her birthday celebration with a bottle of white rum. She cocked a hand up with her water bottle in it. “Here, here,” she toasted and took a sip as Wally raised his coffee and drank too.
She glanced at him. “Are you in school, or are you done?”
“I finished a while ago. I work out of a tower with a group of friends in Manhattan.”
For a moment, her eyes drifted to the simple pair of jeans and graphic shirt he was wearing. She lived in the upper area of Gotham and she knew what uptown Manhattan was like, and it wasn’t jeans and t-shirts.
Evidently, he did too because he scowled, “I have suits and ties, thank you very much.”
She snorted and took the empty mug from him. “I didn’t say anything, Wally.”
“You made a face.”
“Is a face a ground to be hostile?” she grinned. “I was just wondering what type of business in Manhattan ran on flash t-shirts and skinny jeans.” She eyed him. “Tech?”
He shrugged. “It’s…a bit of everything if I’m being honest.” It sounded like he didn’t exactly want to say, and she let it be, rinsing out his cup before setting it to dry.
A buzz sounded and she felt for her phone when he said, “That’s mine.” Wally pulled his phone out, read the message, and stood up. “I’ve gotta go, Melisandre.”
She nodded and took the twenty-dollar bill he handed her, waving her off when she tried to hand back the change. As he started towards the door, she called, “Wally?”
He turned on his heel and waited and she felt foolish for saying it, but she admitted with warmth in her cheeks, “It’s been a while since I had any semblance of a friend…so thanks for this afternoon.”
Wally gave her a pearly white grin. “Barry said you’d say something like that,” he chuckled as she scowled and he added sincerely, “Can never have too many friends, Melisandre…and I hope you’ll become a great one of mine. So far, you already are.”
She smiled, “Same here, Wally.” The bell signaled his exit and she let out a heavy sigh as her heart warmed in her chest at the feeling of a newfound friendship.
She was dead on her feet when she finally got through her front door and into her living room, practically collapsing onto the couch. Though it wasn’t far from the truth as she flopped down and toed off her shoes, heaving a long and winded sigh as she stared at the dark ceiling. She wanted to turn on the lamp on the table beside her, but she didn’t want to move. Hell, she barely wanted to get up and take a shower, so she didn’t go to bed sweaty.
Just a moment. She thought. Just a moment to close my eyes and I’ll get up and go shower.
Of course, the second the shut them, she was opening them to her phone telling her it was two A.M. She groaned and picked herself off the couch to shuffle into her bedroom, and when she got there, she peeled off the clothes from her body and let them fall, not caring about the hamper just a foot away. She’d do it tomorrow after class.
The shower was quick, and she crawled into bed a few minutes later, glancing out the window at the stars that were still in the night sky. Even if she tried to avoid thinking about it, she couldn’t, and her mind drifted to when she was a young girl and would stare out the window in her bedroom back in Gotham, watching the spotlight come alive and paint the silhouette of the bat symbol against the night sky.
She missed them. She missed them a lot. Missed eating meals at a full table and the laughter in the manor. Hell, she even missed being ignored, because at least then she could see familiar faces every day. Now, it was wake up, go to work, go to class, then come home. And the process repeated every morning. She was alone in a city where she didn’t know anyone except for one forensic scientist and his wife, going to a college that didn’t even have her real identity. She’d not even said the name “(Y/N) Wayne” out loud for fear that someone with super hearing would hear her and tell her father, instead going by “Melisandre Hale”, a twenty-one-year-old born and raised Central City citizen going to community college. It pained her to admit, that with her decision to grant herself the freedom she desired, it came with a heavy price, and that was the loneliness. And it was worse compared to what it was like back then.
Sighing, she rolled over and pulled the covers up over her head, hoping that when she shut her eyes, she’d stop thinking about what she left behind. Unfortunately, the universe and her mind were never kind, and as she drifted to sleep, she saw the pained faces of her family.
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iconicc · a year ago
Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader 
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Summary: Based on this request! Aaron and Reader are caught red handed. 
Warning: tad nsfw ; light swearing; just some fluff & mention of sexy times. 
A/N: Thank you to the anon that requested! I had so much fun writing this! Sadly no new fics are going to be coming out this weekend soo read your heart out with this! & Please interact with me and my writings- it honestly motivates me SO much to keep on writing and producing interesting content; plus send me anons !! i love hearing about your day & what’s going on in your life <3 
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“Aar- Aaron stop” you giggled into his neck. You hated being tickled, especially by him, he could honestly be such a child sometimes. Trying to push him away to get up for the day, your plans clearly failed when you got pulled back into his chest. “Aaronnnnnnn, I have to gooooo” you moaned, not showing the slightest indication of leaving his arms. This was your favourite place, by far. 
You always felt so safe, so cared for - so loved. To be honest, that was how you had felt every single day for about 6 months now, that’s when you and him had finally started dating. Things were very flirty for a while, the whole squad picking up on it of course, which led them to try and set you both up various times. The most entertaining attempt being from Pen who had literally locked you both up in her ‘cave’, that had been funny to say the least, especially after seeing Hotch’s reaction to the whole fiasco. If looks could kill, he would have at least 4 attempted murder charges against him today. It was all fun and games though, you both knew that, so you both hadn’t minded about the BAU’s antics. Though, it was quite awkward at first, not expecting for the other to reciprocate the other’s feelings. It had been quite a sweet moment nonetheless, Jack being involved in the whole ordeal. 
You and him had also grown quite attached to each other, taking the role of “dad’s fun friend” as you had told him. And boy had he welcomed you into a space in his heart with open arms- even early on. It reminded you of the times on cases when he would talk to Hotch, he would also demand to talk to you, tell you about his day and even sometimes sing him to sleep. Those times were by far your favourite, him falling asleep on the other side of the line, content with his day while Hotch, who normally sat across from you on the jet, smiling from ear to ear looking at the exchange. It was always a sight to see, anything could be better with Aaron’s smile. And the fact it was directed towards you, only made you feel that much better. From the outside looking in, you three had been the perfect blended family, that had actually made the BAU want to set you both up. They knew after seeing your first interaction with Jack, who normally shy and timid, had done a full 180, being glued to your side, telling you stories upon stories. Much like the BAU, Hotch then had also realised that you were different, and important to him. 
“Babe- pleaseeee, I’m dying here” Aaron mumbled into your neck, placing kisses there, almost as a wager. He knew you could never resist him, and he had used this card most times, so you could stay longer with him. 
As he ground into your curves from behind, it made it that much harder to leave his warm embrace, suddenly you found yourself gasping “ make it worth my while Hotchner” you got out quickly. 
Not missing a second, he flipped you over somehow. this man was a magician- especially in the bedroom, you thought. “sweetheart, I always make it worth you while- or do you need me to remind you of that?” he cheekily asked, an eyebrow raised for good measure, almost mockingly. 
“I need you Aaron” you mumbled, grabbing his face, crashing your lips together in a force you didn’t know was possible. Your head was too fuzzy from the sheer proximity of him, you couldn’t even deliver a cheeky one liner that undermined his efforts. But god, had he always made it worth your while. 
Thoroughly spent from the morning, you laid back on his chest when a soft knock sounded at your apartment door. 
shit. shit . shit. 
Instantly, you remembered about your brunch plans with the rest of the girls. Oh god it was probably them at the door- crap Hotch is here.
Sensing your internal battle, you filled in Hotch on your thoughts. His face matching yours. As if telepathically you both scrambled up and started to put on your clothes from the night before that were decorating various places in your bedroom. “shit shit shit shit” you mumbled trying to pull your pants above your ass- hey, my ass has gotten fatter-NICE.
Focus! Now’s not the time!
Finally, now dressed in something slightly decent for lunch, you quickly put on a turtle neck and a jacket over it, it wasn’t cold in the slightest but you simply didn’t have enough time for concealer to hide Aaron’s work. Amused at your frantic nature, Hotch was taking his sweet time to button up his shirt- smirking at your crazed nature. 
“(Y/N)!! come on, we’re gonna be late!” You heard Jayje yell from the other side. 
“I’m coming !! I’m just in the bathroom!” you yelled back, hoping this would grant you at least a few more minutes. 
“stop looking at me like that” you pouted slightly towards Hotch. 
“like what?” he replied with a glint of a smile on his face. 
God he was attractive. 
“Like you want to fuck me, right here- right now” you replied, deciding to be quite brazen. Honestly, just the idea of him having his way with you now, with them out front had spread a warmth within you. 
Seeing Hotch’s jaw tighten slightly, you knew he was trying to hold back. Even a move from him and they would know it was him. Smirking now, that you had the upper hand, you went out of your bedroom, rushing to put shoes on. Stopping at the mirror near your door, you tried to fix the evidence, sex hair being the major one. 
Underestimating Hotch, who was following your trail, he immediately latched onto your waist from behind, his hands running up and down your hips. Remembering you were right near the door, you whispered urgently “aaron-Aaron, stop! Go hide!” almost pleading at this point. He only responded by closing the gap between both of you. You back flush against his front, his hand gripped your and turned you to look at the mirror. Holding eye-contact with by by your reflection. 
“Sweetheart, if you think they’re not going to realise how thoroughly you’ve been fucked after seeing, I should fire them” he chuckled. 
Biting your lip in response, you really thought you had looked decent at best- you thought you could argue ‘oh i slept in’ but Aaron’s confession had only made you realise how wrong you had been. 
“Fuck- Don’t do that (Y/N) or I swear I’ll take you right here, and make you scream my name- just so they all know who’s making you feel this way”his rough voice breathed against your ear, as his hips grinded forwards into your ass. 
A gasp escaped you,from the sudden gesture which had cued budding excitement in your belly. 
Lord did he have a way with his words- he could make you climax just by his filthy words.
 In this moment, all that filled your brain were various ways he had satisfied you last night, making you rethink ever leaving him today, or even why you had left the bed for that matter. Though location was never an issue with you both, it being primal most times. A voice cut off your train of thought. 
“(Y/N)- Angel, darling, beauty- you need to hurry up for the love of God! I am already having caffeine withdrawals” Penelope’s voice came from the other side of the door. 
Only widening your eyes at her voice, you looked at Hotch through the mirror- almost begging him at this point. He seemed to go along with and walked away from you. Instantly missing the warmth that radiated from him behind pressed to you, you fought off the urge to go after him. The wetness pooled in your panties just had to wait for the moment. 
Seeing him walk into your closet, you slowly opened the door, acting like you had just woken up and rushed to get ready. well, that was true. 
“ wait- babe you forgot your purse” Hotch came towards the door just as you had opened it, only to be met with three shocked faces. 
oh fuck. 
What had implicated you both more was Hotch’s obvious sex hair and the tops of his shirt undone with a tie draped loosely around his neck. Things were almost comical, your obvious ‘oh fuck’ face, Hotch looking like he was caught red-handed- which he was- three shocked faces that were now morphed into smirks. 
Turning back towards the door, to face the three, “So, Brunch?” you nervously laughed. 
They’re never letting me live this down.  
Taglist: @anotherspencerreidblog @marshmallowsparks @heartt-throb @criminallyautumn @marshmellowhat1 @vintageho3 @avogotyournumber @yes-sir-hotchner @unionjackpillow @dj-lowkey (not tagging) @averyhotchner @hxdxs @kaceyjost @cm-is-my-only-personality-trait @sorablack @thecharmingart @omgbeccca @cherryskyies @genevievedarcygranger @sydney-m @schotsaert  @moonshinerbynight @aaronhotchnerr @mollipop39 @thefifthmaraud3r @imanerdsomanyfandoms @chelseyjoyce @ssaic-jareau @samayoshito  @anotherspencerreidblog @criminallyautumn @heartt-throb {lmk if you want to be added/ removed} 
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oneshotnewbie · 8 months ago
how about a oneshot where Supergirl and b!d get into a fight (not physical., an argument), and Kara says something that really hurts her sisters' feelings. B!D runs away crying and Alex also gets mad at crying cause she's really protective over B!D and Kara goes to apologize.
„Kara, give it a break!“ you sighed frustrated as you walked furious through the DEO.
“Give it a break? Are you serious? You almost died trying to save Alex because you had no energy left to fight!” she snapped, lost in anger while her cheeks started to flush in bright red. “You are so selfish. You’re always pushing more and more and don’t realize that you are not only hurting yourself but also hurting us and your friends.”
You stopped in your tracks, your anger rose and you squeezed your eyes together while you bit your lip. "I am selfish?" With one swing you turned around and looked into her eyes. Your arms were crossed under your chest and your legs were firmly on the floor. You too, had meanwhile reached the color on your face that signaled that you were almost boiling over with anger.
"Have you ever looked at yourself? You run around here like a target for every damn enemy you made to save the world but don't think an inch about your family!" you spat out, these words literally screamed through the whole building. Everyone had heard it, all eyes were on you both and now you were the spectacle in the middle of your work environment.
"I have superpowers, Y/N! I can protect myself unlike you."
"And I can't protect myself?"
"No you can't, as it could be seen in the field. Use your brain and finally realize that this may not be the right job for you!" she said in a loud, deep voice and took a breath. "You think you are as strong as Alex but you are not and you never will be. You are too soft for this kind of game."
And that saying literally hit you in the face like a brick. Your heart felt like it was slipping into your pants and your stomach turned 180 degrees. You noticed how your anger slowly turned into sadness as your brain realized what your sister said and your eyes began to puddle with tears.
You could feel some of them already starting their own way and flowing down your cheeks. Before it all ended in a sea on your face and everyone noticed that you had feelings, you disappeared with quick steps and left your older sister standing there alone.
Immediately you ran to the changing rooms and let your feelings run free. Maybe she was right, maybe you were really weak and useless for this work.
Alex stood with her mouth open, watching the show, not knowing what to say. Her heart ached at the sight of you and the way you stood there, completely overwhelmed by your sisters words, but at the same time a rapid anger spread inside her. Anger at Kara that she even dared to speak to you like that and throw something at you like that.
"Kara, into the conference room, NOW!" her voice was terrifying deep.
The redhead walked up and waited for the blonde to enter. The door slammed shut and she paced back and forth a few times with her hands in her hair before she looked up and started speaking. "Are you crazy?"
"Alex, I am sorry."
Alex snorted out loud, her eyes flashing a dangerous brown as she got closer to the blonde. "Sorry? Damn it, you know exactly how long it took to reassure her that she is doing her job well and that she is perfect the way she is."
"I know.." but Alex interrupted her immediately.
"You don't know anything, where is your head? That one sentence probably destroyed all the self-confidence that she had willfully built up over the years." shouted the eldest one, pointing through the glass to the place you ran off. "I swear to you, Kara. If it takes her back to where she was back then, so broken and doubting her existence, then God mercy, I don't know what I am going to do!"
With gritted teeth she raised a finger at the blonde and looked at her. Her jaw was clenching and the blonde knew, that the read head was raging inside. No matter what she had to say now, Alex wouldn't have given a shit about.
She has always been very protective of you. Maybe because you were the youngest and her own flesh and blood, or maybe because you had difficulties in your youth and she saved you from worse.
The eldest didn't feel like discussing any further and disappeared from the room. The door closed with another loud bang and Kara was startled for a moment.
She sat down on one of the chairs and tried to process what had just happened. She wasn't even sure why she's said that to you in the first place if she didn't feel the way at all. Maybe it was just the anger and frustration of almost losing you, which spoke for her.
She got up again and walked in the direction in which you escaped but when she didn't find you in the locker room, where she had suspected you, she was slightly worried until she remembered that you were always in the training room of the DEO after a hard day's work to let your feelings run free there.
And she was right. Once there, she opened the door and saw you, with headphones in your ears, on the punching bag as you beat him with full force and energy.
She watched you for a moment before deciding to walk up to you and hole the bag while you hit it. With a firm stance, she put her arms on the sides and held it with her strength at one point so that he wouldn't fly around like that.
But suddenly there were no more blows to feel and the sandbag didn't move in her hands either. The blonde watched you take your headphones out, walking to the bench to get your water bottle.
"Y/N, can we talk?" she asked softly.
The otherwise so strong and uplifting woman looked at the floor and dodged her sisters gaze. "About what? You already said everything."
"Listen, I've said some stupid stuff to you, and its fine if you are mad at me. I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean it at all and it wasn't okay to say something like that to you."
You laughed, rolled your eyes and set off for a little sprint. "Kara, we both know you meant it. Angry people always tell the truth."
"No, they don't. At that moment I wasn't completely with myself, I kept seeing pictures of you laying there on the ground and that alien above you, almost tearing you apart."
"Are you done?" you turned around again and looked at her briefly. "Go, please."
"Please don't hate me." she spoke almost inaudibly, her voice muffled by the tears she tried to suppress.
"Let me alone, Kara."
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blazedgraysons · 11 months ago
babe can u bless us w some new years smut w papi gray ?
oml i’m sorry it took me so long to finish this but of course, angel!! lmaoo let’s start the new year out with some hate sex with gray.
warnings: so i guess the words papi gray triggered something in me because i don’t really know what this is anymore. anyways hatefucking, a smidge of choking, some dirty talk and the return of my fave: cocky fuckboy grayson. anyways hope you like it bby <333
New Year’s had never been your favorite holiday. Too many blacked-out people in a bar, all with high hopes for the year that come quickly crashing down the next day along with their hangovers. Plus, it doesn’t help that you’ve been puked on two NYEs in a row.
It wasn’t like you had a personal vendetta against the holiday, just the older you got, the more you wanted to spend New Years' at home. So you ended up creating your own traditions: Indian food, shitty beer, and rewatching your favorite chick flicks.
This is why you were so surprised to find yourself outside of a huge party this year. Your two best friends had dragged you with them, explaining how they didn’t want to ring in New Year’s without you.
“I look like a disco ball.” You groan as the three of you walk in, Ali and Stella confidently leading the way.
“You look hot.” Ali assures, smiling in what you figure is supposed to be a comforting way. She had been the one to invite the two of you tonight, and a part of you feels bad for your miserable attitude, knowing that she just wanted to spend time with you.
“Warning: Dolan at 3 O’Clock.” Your other friend, Stella, whispers into her red solo cup, and you can feel your bad mood return. Turning your head slightly, you can see Grayson Dolan walking in with his entourage, already acting as if he owns the room.
You can hear Ali snapping at Stella, reminding her how they agreed not to point him out tonight, but all you can focus on is how arrogant Grayson looked.
The two of you had never gotten along, a wrong first date leaving each other permanently on the other’s shit list. Despite your disdain for another, the two of you ran in the same friend group, so you saw each other more often than you like. At this point, everyone knew to keep you two far away from each other unless they wanted a whole night of insults, fighting, and yelling.
“Remind me why you two hate each other again? It’s been like two years.” Stella asks nonchalantly, tilting her head as she holds up her drink.
“We just do. He was a dick on our date. Some people aren’t meant to get along.”
“Aw, you two just need to kiss and makeup.” Ali coos, fixing your hair.
“More like fuck and makeup. So what if you had a bad date. The two of you still have this weird sex thing that needs to be figured out.” Stella interjects.  
“I do not-“ Your friends start laughing at your loud objection, watching as your face grows hot in embarrassment.
“I do not want to fuck him!” You hiss, hiding your face from nosy onlookers.
“Why not? I would; he’s fucking hot.” Stella whispers, gesturing over to him. All three of you look over at where he’s standing against the kitchen counter, laughing loudly with his group of friends.
You hated to admit it, but she was right: he really was super attractive. He’s simply dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, denim jacket finishing everything off. It’s nothing special, but you hate the fact that he still somehow managed to look better than everyone else here.
He looks over, smirking when he sees your little group staring at him. All three of you turn away, doing a horrible job at trying to look inconspicuous. Your back is turned towards him as you fix your hair and smoothing out your dress. Ali’s eyes light up suddenly, and she’s whispering to Stella before turning back to you.
“Stella has to pee; we’ll be right back.” She rushes out while dragging Stella to the nearest bathroom. Before you can protest, Grayson’s taking their spot.
He’s chewing his gum obnoxiously, and you can’t help the way your eyes focus on how his jaw moves with every bite.
“Didn’t think I’d see you here tonight, Y/N.”
“Yeah, I was just leaving. Decided it’s not really for me anymore.” You get out, moving past him to walk to the door. You figured you can just call an Uber and text your two friends you were feeling sick. Before you can make it past, he grabs your arm to stop you.
“C’mon, it’s the last day of the year. Can’t you be nice to me just for tonight?” He asks, eyes shining with mischief.
“ Don’t you have some other girl to mess with?” You yank your wrist back, walking off as he follows you.
“Why? You jealous.” He asks, and you know that arrogant smirk is painted on his face.
“Over you? Hardly.” You keep moving until he says something that has you stopping in your tracks.
“Did you wear that dress for me tonight?” Your jaw clenches, annoyance washing over your body. However, you figure two can play this game, so you turn around, walking towards him with a flirtatious expression on your face. He’s looking down at you, appreciating the way your attitude has done a complete 180. You wrap your arms around his neck and bring his face towards yours, leaning in as if you’re going to kiss him.
“Fuck you.” You whisper, mouth millimeters away from his. You turn away, turning to look at him over your shoulder one last time. The irritated expression on his face and his clenched jaw should’ve warned you that you were playing with fire. Still, you simply keep walking forward, choosing to look for Ali and Stella.
Maybe you could stay a little longer to see how this plays out.
Fuck Grayson Dolan.
At this point, you weren’t sure if you were angrier at him or if you actually wanted to fuck him.
All you know is he was pushing every last button.
It started with constant flirting - just with everyone else besides you. You knew Grayson was a tease, but you swore he had given every girl at this party his signature charming smile. The one that screamed, 'I'm Grayson Dolan, and you're the only one here for  me.' You had pretended like you hadn’t seen red when he leaned down to whisper a joke in some girl's ear, winking at you when he notices the way your eyes had narrowed and your lips were puckered.
It only got worse when he decided he needed a refill on his drink, coming up to where you were standing in the hallway. He slyly placed his hands low on your waist, pressing up against you to squeeze by even though you both knew that there was more than enough space.
You were in the middle of debating on whether or not you should finally leave for good this time, figuring you shouldn’t have to subject yourself to this torture when you still have leftover takeout in your fridge.
“Hey, we need to talk to you. Can you meet us in the upstairs bedroom in like 5 minutes?” Ali appears out of nowhere, blonde curls messed up as if she’s been running her hands nervously through her hair. Stella just nods casually, and you look at the two of them suspiciously.
“What are you two planning?” You ask.
“Nothing! Upstairs. Five minutes!” Ali assures, kissing you on the cheek before walking off again. You can tell she’s drunk, smelling the lingering vodka shots on her breath. However, curiosity gets the better of you, and after five minutes, you’re slowly walking up the stairs.
“Ali? Stel?” You call out, getting nothing in response. You keep walking until you reach the end of the hallway, closed door in front of you. You open it, greeted with the sight of Grayson in front of you.
“What the fuck?” You both exclaim, the door closing behind you. You jangle the door handle, cursing under your breath when you realize it’s locked.
“We’re not letting you out until you guys kiss!” Ali calls out.
“You guys got 20 minutes until midnight.” Stella laughs, both still holding the door tightly to keep you from breaking through.
“Oh my God, we’re not fucking 12. This isn’t 7 minutes in heaven.”
“Less talking, more frenching!” Ali yells, giggling loudly as her heels slowly click away.
You roll your eyes, “You two are the fucking worst.” You kick the door before sliding down against it, tilting your head against the door.
“Your friends are weird.” are the first words out of Grayson’s mouth, and you roll your eyes.
“They mean well, they’re just really … stupid sometimes.”You get back up to your feet and start knocking on the door, hitting it with your palms, anything that could hopefully get a passerby’s attention.
“Can you stop banging on the door? It’s annoying.” Grayson mumbles out from where he’s sitting up on the bed after five minutes of your obnoxious knocking.
“I’m sorry, did you want to spend New Year’s locked in here with one another. I’m trying to get out.”
He leans back down on the bed, covering his eyes with his arms. “You realize it’s locked; we’re stuck in here. No one’s coming up here for a while.”
You hate to admit it, but you know he’s right. With only 20 minutes until midnight, everyone’s going to be downstairs, not wanting to miss the main event. You walk over to the dresser, sitting on top of it as you pull out your phone to find someone to text for an emergency rescue.
“We really should just sleep with one another.”
You nearly drop your phone in your lap from his sudden outburst. “I think that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”
“Why not? I think you’re hot; I know you think I’m hot. Stop- don’t try to argue with me; I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention. Let’s just get this over with; clear start to 2021.” He looks over at you, raising an eyebrow.
You roll your eyes, “I’m not sleeping with you Grayson.”
“What, scared you might actually like it?” He pushes himself up off the mattress and stalks over to where you’re seated on top of the dresser. You start to feel uncharacteristically timid, not knowing how to react under his dark gaze. You don’t say anything, just watching the way his eyes rake over your entire body slowly.
He takes a deep breath, “If I kiss you right now, will you let me?” You wait a second before throwing on caution to the wind, and nodding, deciding to give in to whatever tension is growing between you.
He leans down, softly kissing you before coming back to gauge your reaction.
“If you kiss anything like the way you fuck, this is gonna fucking suck.” You whisper, smiling at the way his face drops. He pulls you into him, forcing his lips onto yours roughly. It’s messy, teeth clashing into one another, noses bumping, and you love it. You didn’t want softness, you didn’t want intimacy, you wanted Grayson to let out everything he felt towards you.
He starts to roughly mark down your neck, leaving dark marks, and you whimper, desperately pulling his jacket off his shoulders. He leans back slightly, pulling his shirt over his head and your mouth falls slightly. You take in all the deep contours and ridges, not even missing the way he flexes briefly.
“Like what you see?” He rasps out, pants growing tighter at your open arousal.
“Just because we’re fucking doesn’t mean I’m another one of your fans. I still fucking hate you.” You pull your dress off and spread your legs slightly on the dresser. You mentally thank Ali for forcing you to skip wearing a bra because the way Grayson’s face zeros in on your bare tits has you whimpering softly. He moves even closer to you.
“Doesn’t seem like you hate me right now.” He whispers, eyes darkening at the dark spot growing on your underwear. His arms are on either side of your thighs as he’s standing in between your legs. You can feel the heat coming off from his body, close enough that you can pick up the subtle nerves in his energy under waves of excitement.
“Whatever.” You’re trying your hardest to remain unaffected, calm under his intense gaze. Still, between the lack of touch and the way he’s looking like he can’t figure out how he wants to ruin you first, you start to squirm.
He pulls roughly at your underwear; you watch as his biceps bulge until the fabric falls apart in his hands. Whatever facade of calmness you were trying to maintain flies out the window. You swallow deeply, eyes wide as he tosses the ruined underwear over his shoulder with a cocky smirk. The smug look on his face is enough for you to snap back to normal and return to your usual backtalk.
“Watch it, asshole. Those aren’t cheap.”
“Trust me, I’ll buy you two more to make up for it. Now shut up; you talk too much.” With that, he’s leaning down and sucking your clit hard.
You’re not quick to compliment Grayson, but you can admit he’s incredible at eating pussy. He genuinely sounds like he’s ready to die in between your legs, quietly groaning to himself with every suck and lick. Your breath hitches at the imagery, and he’s slowly licking up your slit, savoring the way you taste for him. He gives you a few more licks before he starts sucking at your clit again, and you can feel yourself growing closer.
“Fuck, Gray- I’m about to cu-“ Before you can finish, he’s pulling away and smiling up at you with shiny lips.
“Fuck you.” You practically spit out, and he just laughs shortly, amusement barely hidden in his face.
“Before I make you cum, I wanna hear you ask nicely.” He’s leaning into you again, lips hovering yours, mirroring the same position you had him in earlier. You push his shoulder, hoping to give you some distance, but he stays firmly planted in place.
“If you think I’m gonna beg for your sorry excuse of a dick -“
He cuts you off, fingers slipping inside you, and he starts curling his fingers, your back arching into his touch. With how close you were to your orgasm, you’re falling apart in a matter of seconds. You start whimpering out his name, and he stills all his movements, thumb hovering over your clit.
“Beg.” He demands, and neither of you misses the way you tightly clench around him from the change of tone in his voice.
You stare at him long until he lightly brushes your clit, reminding you of what you’re missing in your stubbornness. You sigh dramatically before swallowing your pride and saying:
“Grayson, fuck me.” He stares at you pointedly, and you sigh again.
“Please, Gray. Want you to fuck me, please.” You whisper. It’s not a lot, but he knows that’s probably the most he’s going to get out of you at this moment, so he just smiles proudly and starts moving his fingers again. The coil in your stomach starts to grow tighter, and your toes curl when you start cumming all of your fingers. You cry out, nails scratching down his stomach as he continues to move his hand to work you through your orgasm.
He leans back, sucking up everything on his fingers before unbuckling and taking his pants and underwear off. You were glad he had made you cum before because he was big, bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with before. He brushes his dick over your entrances a few times, tapping his dick lightly on your clit. You whimper slightly, and he winks, arrogant persona back in full force.
“You’re still a dick.” You whisper, no real sting to your words.
“Yeah, I know.” He strokes his dick lightly before sinking in, and both of you moan out from the initial feeling.
He starts snapping his hips relentlessly, not giving you time to adjust to his pace. Your eyes begin to roll back, only able to focus on the wood digging into your back, arm wrapped around your waist, and dick ramming roughly into you. You’re moaning out constantly, nothing able to come to mind to express how good he’s making you feel.
However, Grayson is starting to get frustrated, not satisfied with the way you’ve laid out in front of him. He picks you up, holding you close to him before dropping you carelessly on the bed. Before you can say anything, he’s twisting your body around, so you’re on all fours in front of him and is sliding back into you, taking you from behind. You’re arching underneath him, allowing him to reach you even deeper as you moan out. He’s practically fucking you into the mattress, and from your constant sounds and ass jiggling in front of him, he’s releasing a guttural groan.  
He places an arm next to your head while wrapping a large hand around your throat, lightly cutting off your air. His body is entirely over yours, encasing your entire body in his large frame. It all starts to get to be too overwhelming, and your mind starts to go blank from the pleasure, pulling at the railings to get away from how hard he’s fucking into you while also leaning back into him to get more.
“Stop running; thought you wanted to see how good I can fuck you.” He moves his hand to slap your ass, and his dick jumps from the way you start squeezing around him. He rubbing your ass, ready to spank you again, when the both of you stop from loud screams coming below you. You both hear yells about countdowns and New Year’s and Grayson’s leaning down, rutting himself into you before whispering in your ear -
“How much you wanna bet I can get you to cum before midnight?”
You didn’t think he could go any faster, but his movements pick up, hitting your g-spot with every movement of his hips.
He brushes his fingers against your lip, watching as you slowly take them into your mouth and start sucking. You don’t miss the way he lightly swears when you lightly nip at the pads of his fingers. “Fucking brat.” He mutters before he’s wrapping his hand around your throat again.
He moves his hand, going back up on his knees so he can hold you still as he keeps thrusting into you.
With the way he’s gripping your hips and pulling you back into him, you already know you’re gonna be bruised with his fingerprints on your hip tomorrow.
You start to fall forward, and all you can think about is how badly you want to cum.
He starts rubbing at your clit, and you swear you can feel him deep in your stomach, knowing that he’s going to be responsible for your limp tomorrow.
“If only I knew earlier that all I needed to do to get you to shut up was to fuck you properly” were the words coming out, and you hate yourself for moaning out louder at the way he says it.
You can tell he’s starting to get close by the way he starts slowing down, choosing to grind his hips slowly into you.
You haven’t stopped moaning, volume picking up until you’re practically sobbing into the pillow. You briefly think how grateful you are for the screaming in the living room when Grayson smacks your ass hard before groaning in your ear, “Fucking cum, Y/N.”
The tight feeling in your stomach snaps, and a small spurt of wetness releases, you squirting into his dick and thighs. You practically collapse forward, suddenly exhausted, and it only takes a few more thrusts before Grayson’s pulling out to cum on your lower back.
Happy New Year’s, Y/N.” He whispers in a cocky tone, pride in how he practically has you reduced to nothing underneath him.
He covers you in a blanket before getting dressed and walking back out to the party, not even bothering to hide his self-satisfied smirk when his friends ask him why he missed the ball drop.
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deja-vux · 10 months ago
ATEEZ: Telling Them You’re Pregnant
Kim Hongjoong
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      You and Hongjoong had been decorating the practice room for an upcoming anniversary VLive when you decided to drop the news. You had recently found out you were currently 3 months pregnant but neither of you had noticed till you decided to go until you decided to go to the doctor behind his back after experiencing some minor symptoms for the last couple months. At first, they were minor, making you simply brush them off as malnutrition and rest from adjusting to your new busier schedule after being promoted at work. Yet these last couple of days had done a full 180 from subtle and minor to full-blown bed rest making you stay home sick which landed you into your current situation. While you were decorating you couldn’t contain your excitement any longer and decided to tell him then and there instead of waiting for the boys to arrive with the rest of the supplies. You had gone to grab your phone beginning to film him. His suspicions began to grow and he turned to you. “Babe what are you doing?” he asked.
“Taking pictures for Instagram,” you replied beginning to record, “Say cheese,” you smiled.
“Cheese,” he replied posing.
“Joong you blinked, hold up one more,” you said repositioning yourself as he nodded, “Say Y/N is pregnant”
“Y/N’s pr-WHAT?! Whoa” he replied in shock falling off the chair he was using as a stool.
         You had run to him to ask if he was okay but instead, he jumped up picking you up spinning you around as you squealed holding on tight. Eventually, he set you down a bright smile on both your faces. “Are you serious?!” he asked. You simply nodded as his smile grew more than you thought it could. “We have to tell the others like now,” he said excitedly causing you to simply giggle at his excitement.
Park Seonghwa 
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          The boys had just started their tour when you found out. Although neither of you had been planning on having children so soon it didn’t make you any less excited. You only hoped that Seonghwa would feel the same. You and Seonghwa made sure to facetime regularly when he was on tour to keep up with each other and stay connected. Today was a little special because you had sent him a wellness package and as always he called you once he got it because he wanted you to see his reaction to opening it. In the care package, you sent him the usual things like his favorite snacks, letters for him to read, and anything else he might have asked to be sent from home often being something he forgot when he left after running after the boys. You smiled as you answered knowing today was the big day. As he began to pull out the box and open it he asked you about your day multitasking during your conversation. One by one he pulled out the things you had sent to him starting with the snacks, of course, one of which you taped a pacifier to, causing him to raise an eyebrow but he continued forward as you attempted to hold back a laugh. He then pulled out his sweater that he had asked for unfolding it to put it on which caused a newborn onesie to fall out causing him to stop and look at you suspiciously before he pulled out the rest of the contents until one thing was left. A small gift box with a red ribbon tied around it. He pulled it out untying the ribbon and opening his jaw-dropping as his eyes widened and eyebrows lifted. Mingi, wanting to see what had stunned his friend peeked over to see the positive pregnancy test, sonogram, and baby shoes which caused him to smile. Seonghwa who was speechless turned towards his phone to look at you. “Are you serious? Like are you really, you know pregnant?” he asked, whispering the last word.
“Yes, are you mad? I can’t really tell how you’re feeling about this Hwa,” you responded nervously.
“I’m gonna be dad,” he said in shock, “I’m gonna have a kid,” he said a bit more seriously before his eyes widened, “and you’re at home by yourself?! Aish jagiya why didn’t you tell me before you left, I wanna be there with you I feel left out,” he pouted as he complained as you sighed in relief.
“I just found out 2 days ago,” you admitted.
“Promise to facetime me your next appointment,” he pleaded.
“Of course I wouldn’t want it any other way,” you smiled.
Jeong Yunho 
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         You and Yunho had been trying for quite a while with many failed attempts and few successful ones that unfortunately never reached the end goal. At this point, you were starting to believe it would never happen so when you found out you were pregnant again you decided to keep it a secret from everyone even Yunho. You did it to save him from the possible heartbreak of another failed pregnancy and you took advantage that he was on tour for the next good couple of months. Even for a whole six months pregnant you were still considerably small bump but the doctors assured you that you and your baby were both perfectly healthy. This was more than 3 times farther than you had ever gotten and you decided today would be the perfect day to tell him. You had taken the two-hour train from Seoul to Gwangju for the last stop of their tour which also happened to be his hometown. You had surprised him by popping up backstage after their mic check. Beyond ecstatic to see you he pulled you into a gentle yet passionate kiss making you smile against his lips. As you pulled away Seonghwa who knew insisted on taking pictures of you two while Mingi filmed from the side. As you two did different poses you pulled his hand to your small swollen belly as Seonghwa counted down taking the picture. Yunho oblivious to the gesture as the other two chuckled. “He didn’t even notice,” Mingi teased.
“Notice what?” Yunho asked before looking down where Mingi was pointing, your belly now catching his attention, “No way are you pregnant?!” he asked overwhelmed with emotion as he pulled away turning you towards him.
“Yup about 6 months now almost 7 in a week,” you nodded as he smiled covering his mouth in excitement admiring you.
“Six months why didn’t you tell me earlier. I would’ve come home to help you,” he said pecking your lips as he held your belly.
“I wasn’t sure if we’d make it this far, to be honest. Do you wanna know the gender?” you asked.
“Yes of course I do,” he smiled like a kid in a candy store.
“It’s a girl,” you smiled knowing how much he wanted a girl
          He smiled bending down to your belly caressing it before placing a gentle kiss on it, “Hello princess I’m your daddy. I know I haven’t been around much yet but I promise I’m never going to let you or your mama out of my sight now,” he beamed as you smiled.
Kang Yeosang 
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          You both were currently having dinner with Yeosang’s parents at his house when you decided it would be best if you told them all at once. It was no secret that you two had been trying for a bit and honestly, his parents couldn’t wait to welcome their first grandchild into the family so your only worry was making the announcement a memorable one. As always you made a dish to bring over and this time you had also happened to bring a very special bottle of wine to share with his parents. As you two had arrived his mother took the dish and gift bag from your hand and you both helped set up the table. As you began to eat his dad had asked for his mother to open up the wine. When they asked if you would be drinking you politely declined, saying you had work early in the morning. That was the first red flag for Yeosang as he knew you never denied a good glass of wine but he decided to keep quiet and rather ask you about it later. His mother had come back with the gift bag, glasses, and a wine opener. She sat back down pulling the wine bottle out of the bag as you bit your lip. “Oh my god!” was all she could manage to get out as Yeosang’s father looked over the same excited expression plastered on his face. “Are you really pregnant?” his father asked you as you nodded.
“Wait, you're pregnant? Since when?!” Yeosang said looking over at you in shock before smiling.
“Surprise,” you said nervously, “ I found out a week ago.
“What, how did I not notice? I notice everything about you even when you’re early or late,” he exclaimed.
“Honestly I don’t know it was pretty hard keeping it a secret for this long,” you admitted.
          His parents congratulated both of you as you all continued to eat your dinner before his mother proceeded to give you tips and tricks to help you out as well as embarrassing Yeosang by telling you stories of him as a baby. “Mom, can you not tell her that story, please? I thought we promised to never speak of it,” Yeosang complained.
“Hey it’s only fair she knows what if your child ends up just like you she needs to be prepared,” his mother scolded back causing him to groan as you giggled.
Choi San 
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         Your pregnancy was a surprise, to say the least, but then again what did you expect after the both of you had unprotected sex when he came to visit you while you were on tour as a backup dancer and head choreographer. That was four months ago and you still hadn’t told him. Although you were about three and a half months along and beginning to show you could still hide your belly through oversized clothes which made it seem almost nonexistent. You were finally coming back home after a long and hectic tour when you decided to tell him. Usually, after long projects or tours, you two would bring each other gifts from your travels most of the time the gifts being plushies. As you went through customs and baggage claim you felt your nerves begin to grow and your heart begins to pound. Your friend had begun to take notice and reminded you that everything would be okay and that you had nothing to worry about. As she reminded you that San would be beyond excited in the idea of welcoming his own little one you felt your nerves begin to dwindle down. You smiled as you began to exit into the terminal where people’s loved ones were waiting to pick up family or friends from their flights. San wasn’t hard to find as he held a giant poster that said: “Welcome home Y/N”. You smiled running over to him hugging him immediately before he kissed you. As you guys got home you immediately pulled out his gift handing it to him. You watched as he pulled out the plush Yoshi with the egg that had your due date engraved in it. You watched as San analyzed the gears in his head turning before it clicked. “Wait are you playing a prank on me?” he asked suspiciously.
“Nope it’s real,” you said, lifting your shirt enough to reveal your small swollen belly.
         You couldn’t help but smile as you watched San cover his face with his hands peeking at you as he attempted to contain his excitement, “I’m gonna be a fucking dad, hell yeah,” he stood up scooping you up into his arm.
“San careful,” you squealed as you held onto him.
“Sorry I’m just excited,” he smiled, kissing you one more time before setting you down to kiss your belly.
Song Mingi 
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           Mingi was coming home today after back to back promotions and tours and you couldn’t be any more excited. Today’s welcome home gift was even more special because today you were telling him you were pregnant. You and your friend had it all set up. You had a felt board with the message “Welcome Home Dad we can’t wait to meet you soon,” propped up with the recent sonogram under it. As well as a white onesie you had written boyfriend, fiance, husband, and dad followed by the dates of each event as well as your estimated due date. You had put a checkmark next to every event that happened which was everything except the birth of your twins. Just as you finished setting up everything the sound crunching gravel signaled that your boyfriend was home as well as the other boys who were coming for a meal. You watched as the boys walked out of the van carrying their things exhausted and probably jet lagged from the long tour they just had. Your friend had begun to record as soon as the door opened Mingi immediately dropping his things and hugging you pulling you close as if it were the last time he’d be able to do it. It wasn’t until his friends began to cause a commotion that he noticed the setup you had made. He looked back and forth between you and the set up before his eyes softened as he looked to you for confirmation to which you simply nodded. “Really?” he smiled.
Jung Wooyoung 
“Yes, really. I’m about a month and a half along,” you nodded.
“I’m gonna be a dad to twins,” he said hopefully.
“Yup, two little mini-me's,” you smiled, glad he took the news well.
“Daddy can’t wait to meet you guys either,” He said as he leaned down to your stomach.
“They can’t hear you yet,” you giggled as you ran a hand through his hair.
“Ssshh they totally can I don’t care what anyone says,” he smiled kissing your belly before standing straight to kiss you.
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      You and Wooyoung had talked about kids before but it wasn’t exactly something that you had in mind in the near future so when you found out you were in a bit of shock. After passing through the initial shock you had to figure out a way to tell Wooyoung which wasn’t going to be easy at least that’s what you thought. You decided to go for the simple matching outfit for his birthday. You had gone to great lengths to find matching outfits that not only fit his style but would also fit a baby. When his birthday finally came he sat down opening his gifts after ending his VLive and everyone was present. After opening up the gifts from the boys he finally opened yours after claiming to have saved the best for last. He immediately opened the box to find his outfit inspecting it before giving it his approval, ”You honestly know me so well I’m not even surprised,” he beamed.
“Did you see the rest though?” you asked.
        Confused by your statement he began to inspect the box again noting the many layers of tissue paper that expertly hid the matching set for your baby. He pulled it out inspecting it causing the gears in his head to grind before it finally clicked. The boys moved a bit slower than Woo not fully understanding till he turned to look at you. “Wait Y/N are you serious?” Wooyoung asked. This caused the other boys to look at you as you simply nodded causing them to go into a frenzy as Wooyoung ran over to you hugging you before scooping you up into his arms, “I can’t believe we’re gonna be parents!” he cheered as you simply giggled relieved that he took the news well.
  Choi Jongho
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            Your’s and Jongho’s relationship was pretty well known among his and your fans, especially since the both of you had been dating for a while. You weren’t afraid of showing off your relationship either so when you found out you were pregnant it wasn’t a surprise to your group and management team that you wanted to tell your fans as well. After speaking with his management you decided the best way to do it was through a VLive so in case anything happened they could easily end it and delete it in case of backlash. So that’s what brought you here to a karaoke bar with Jongho as the two of you streamed it. The fans were having a blast watching the two of you mess around as you sang to different songs failing most of them due to both of you joking around too much. After an especially intense laugh session that left both of you in tears abs hurting you decided it was time to tell him. As he attempted to get you to sing with him you couldn’t stop laughing at your previous performance. He pouted softly asking you to repeat after him. When you did you asked him to return the favor, him happily agreeing. “I love my girlfriend,” you said, mocking him and his previous statement.
“I love my girlfriend,” he repeated sing-songy.
“And I’m gonna be a dad,” you continued.
“And I’m gonna be a da-what?!” he exclaimed happily in disbelief.
 ‘Surprise,” you said nervously.
            He only then proceeded to kiss you cutting the VLive short as fans began to flood the comments with messages of congratulations. He eventually pulled away as both of you needed air and he rested his head against yours smiling.  ‘It’s a little too early for kids in my opinion but as long as it’s with you I don’t care. I’m ready to face anything when I’m with you,’ ‘he smiles resting his hands on your belly as he pecks your lips, your hands over his.
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wandavicky · 10 months ago
Wanda, what have you done?
Part 2.
(Part 1.) (Part 3.)
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Pair: Wanda x Reader
Warning: None
Note: If god want me to make it a 3 part story, who am I to say no to god?
"Oh my..." You're awed by the scenery in front of you, "God."
It’s your dream aesthetic. A neighborhood of upswept roof buildings, retro style, like the ones you used to see in the pictures of old dinings in the countryside. It feels like you're in a 50s movie. You're not quite sure how they preserved these lovely architectures, but you can tell it’s a very organized place, clean and bright, unlike where you live.
"Welcome to Westview." You read out the huge neon sign. “Home is where you make it.”
It's kind of too quiet, almost creepy, for a neighborhood this size. But it's probably easier for you to find Wanda, you just have to find someone and ask them.
You take a little walk along the street, there are houses on both sides of the road, you've started to feel like this is a Hollywood set for movies or shows because everything feels familiar - not that you've been in a movie.
Suddenly, a loud noise startled you.
A rooster crowing.
And just like that, the clouds break apart to reveal the sun. The door on the house on your right side opens, a couple walks out. The guy with a suitcase kissed the other goodbye and drove out of their driveway.
"Hi, excuse me," You wave at the guy in the car, wanting to ask her about Wanda, but he just stares at you the whole time as he drives by.
Has he never seen an outsider? You're relieved at least his head didn't turn 180 from the way he stares.
Then more cars drove by, different colors, different people, different styles, some of the cars don't even fit the 50s aesthetic, but they have one thing in common – every single one of them were all staring at you, as if they know you're not from here.
Where are the hostages Natasha mentioned? And where is Wanda?
A certain smell caught your attention. Briny, heavy, rich and warm.
You pick up your pace, ta-tah-ta sounds coming as you start running, then the sands and the ocean proves you right.
There is a beach at the end of the road. And it's not just any beach, it's your favourite beach, the spot where you confessed to your favorite girl. Where is she? How is the beach here? Isn't this in the middle of nowhere? So many questions about this mystery place you have yet to find answers for.
"Oh, sorry." You bump into someone as you try to warp your head around this whole thing. "Ok, why is everyone looking at me like that? I'm not going to bite you."
The passerby all freezes as you yell, you notice their gazes finally left you.
"What are you..." You follow their gaze and turn around to see a flying object. "Oh."
It's her. It’s Wanda.
Wanda lands on the ground and the red surrounding her wrists fade away, she seems to be controlling her power well, must've been practicing a lot.
Your ex- girlfriend looks just as good as you remembered.
"Wanda." You try to bury down the emotions as much as you can. It's the first time you see her since the break up. You want to tell her everything. You want to tell her how worried you are when Natasha comes to your house telling you something is wrong. You want to know how she is doing and ask her about this place. You want to tell her about how you've never stopped loving her, and you missed her, and that you were wrong. The more you think about it, the more the feelings surface. You move your lips trying to form a word, any word, but your lips are trembling and all your vocabulary collapses under the overwhelming emotions.
"Y/N," A million thoughts run past your mind as Wanda opens her arms, "here."
You didn't think twice before allowing yourself in her embrace. She smells like peppermint and strawberry, and her tender stroke on your hair feels like where you belong.
"Welcome home."
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wickedpact · a year ago
i would like to hear ur essay if ur willing to share it 👀 - 2 thoughts anon
Hokay so. the thing about joe and anger is every time we see joe get angry, or say hes angry, or lash out at someone (ie. signs of anger) we are Very Pointedly shown him afraid first, and usually the Thing Hes Angry At is The Thing That Made Him Scared/Caused The Fear
which, like i said in my tags, makes sense. anger is a secondary emotion. people are never angry ‘just because’ there is always an underlying reason for anger whether fear, insecurity, exhaustion, etc etc
so, essentially: for joe, anger is always a response to fear (long post w pictures under cut)
but anyways the first time in the movie we see joe show anything close to anger is at the end of the kill floor fight. andy asks for check ins and joe spits out a bullet and says he’s ‘very pissed off’ (which always makes me laugh cause you know. his soft little voice. anyways)
prior to this fight, what do you see? this little face
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and i think it was.. really Deliberately done that when nicky died, he fell on his side facing joe, but joe died facing completely the other way, so the audience sees him slowly turn his head a whole 180 degrees. its like a 2 or 3 second shot, gives you a long second to absorb the fear -> relief on joe’s face. nicky meanwhile, when we cut to him, is already in ‘lets get these bitches’ mode. whether he had that same fear moment as joe did or not (he prolly did), the movie doesnt care enough to show us. however, the movie does show and does want you to know, hey, Joe Was Scared Here.
which, you know, this also moment functions as a little tease/foreshadowing/whatever of their relationship, for those who dont know about it going in. and its like a completely separate topic about how i love that they did that, slowly give the audience bigger and bigger hints that ‘hey, there’s Something Going On between those two’ until it becomes explicitly obvious theyre a couple
Anyways. movie deliberately shows joe being scared out of his mind when he looks to nicky, and then a few minutes later, joe’s pissed. he says as much.
(plus, not really the point of the meta, but he also got killed here, so it wasnt like he was having a good time in the first place)
but anyways thats the first example
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the next time we see joe angry, he’s lashing out at the van guards. which. its not like they exactly earned joe’s respect there. (or mine) but again, we see the same pattern. joe’s angry. why is joe angry? hes scared.
i dont even need two screenshots this time bc in this example the fear event is happening at the same time as the anger
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i love this line bc the words themselves come off as pretty... you know, challenging & he sounds pretty pissed when he says them. but, again, look at his little face, his brows are up, he’s near tears. it always gets me how, in this scene, joe panics so fast when nicky doesnt wake up.
honestly its never even specified whether nicky was dead or unconscious on the van (none of his bullet wounds are lethal, it depends on what kind of gas they used) and yet when he doesnt wake up, joe just immediately panics. he struggles against the guards pulling him back, his voice starts cracking, it raises in pitch, he gets near tears, and it takes.. like, seconds for him to get like that. ten seconds at the absolute most, probably less. he sounds like hes close to a panic attack to me. just utterly terrified. so: he snaps at the guards.
but only once. once nicky is awake, that all just goes. the next time the guard yells at him joe is just... super calm, super composed, mr. ‘I Need To Know He’s Okay.’ The fear was gone, so the anger was pretty much also gone. even when he’s delivering ‘youre a child’ later on, he doesnt sound that angry, just like.. disappointed and mildly annoyed, i guess.
and then, next time you see him pissed is the headbutt scene and idk if i even need to explain that one much. he and nicky were kidnapped, nicky gave joe a big fuckin scare, there were homophobes, obviously joe’s having a bad time, and merrick’s the source of all that
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so again he lashes out and Oh Boy Does That End Badly For Him
and im gonna skip over booker and go to keane real quick-- ive obviously spoken All The Words In The English Language about every scene that keane breathes in, but You’ll Hear Me Say Them Again!!
when joe fights keane, (like ive pointed out) he kicks keane’s gun out of his hands and drops his own. like, joe very specifically wanted to kill this dude with his bare hands, in a manner that resembled how keane killed nicky (as joe is a very passionate enforcer of the golden rule here & i lov him for it)
& like ive Also Pointed Out, in the bts footage, when keane pulls the gun he killed nicky with on joe, joe just fucking wallops him for it
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like joe was just not having anything keane was selling, and as much as its important to point out that joe-- you know, its not like he’s flown into a rage here, the movie pretty deliberately shows him looking pretty horrified With Life right after he kills keane. but joe is pissed here, and he does draw out keane’s death pointedly and purposefully [good for him dot png]
........and again, what do we see before this? the image of my heart breaking in two for joe
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again, joe being angry is precluded by him being afraid-- notably and specifically, afraid of nicky dying. and you know... when you make movies, its always very purposeful what’s shown and what isn’t, because theyre such relatively short forms of entertainment. a novel can take days to read and absorb; a movie doesnt have that kind of time. And Yet, tOG makes a specific point to show joe scared out of his wits after nicky dying on three(3) separate occasions, and lingers with him, sometimes for whole minutes, showing his reaction to the idea of maybe losing nicky
the reaction being: pure fucking panic
and you know, this movie is crammed to the gills with stuff. the fact that none of those 3 moments, despite all showing relatively the same thing, werent cut, is important. the movie practically waves a flag that says ‘JOE IS AFRAID OF LOSING NICKY’ in blinking lights at the viewer
(and covering my bases: that isnt to say that nicky isnt afraid of joe dying, there are a couple times its kind of implied or shown nicky has that kind of fear too, but the movie doesnt prioritize showing it the way it does with joe. and ive also got another essay in me about how nicky’s fear of losing joe and joe’s fear of losing nicky are 2 different monsters from what we see of their reactions to loss/potential loss in the movie, but that’s a different conversation)
and: And! this reaction isnt just limited to nicky! we see it with andy too, which brings me to: bastard french man
joe’s anger with booker is interesting to me ‘cause its not in the comic. neither joe or nicky’s reaction to booker’s betrayal is shown-- we never see the moment they find out. and i keep wondering-- rucka said that when he was adapting the comics he wanted to do more character work, but also, he also said he knew that the comics and the movie had to be different
and they are different; the whole business with joe and nicky getting captured is different, and doesnt become nearly as dire as it does in the movie. and i keep wondering, why does joe’s reaction to booker’s betrayal go from ‘not important enough to even be shown’ to ‘reinforced several times over the course of-- maybe 20 minutes?’
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and they dont do the same with nicky! we dont get much of any reaction from nicky towards booker besides a couple frowny faces. nicky barely looks at booker throughout the whole damn movie, and that holds up after his betrayal too. and even with the frowny faces, none of those shots are even centered on nicky-- so like. thats not really changed from the comic.
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nicky’s reaction to booker’s betrayal is, again, not prioritized, joe’s is.
and is that because-- character work, rucka giving joe more development, or is that because the circumstance of the betrayal is different?
if you’re inclined to believe the latter, looking at all the differences between the comic and the movie, you know what the biggest is?
andy’s mortal in the movie. andy got shot in the movie. andy nearly died in the movie. because of booker’s betrayal.
and again. joe’s allowed to be angry he got captured and tortured. but in the comics, joe gives precisely 2 shits that he was captured and tortured. movie joe, not so much.
not to mention that he very pointedly -- ive seen a lot of people imply that joe was so angry at booker because his actions got nicky tortured. and again hes allowed to be angry about that. but we see him specifically say to booker, when booker says ‘all [me and andy] had was our grief’ joe replies ‘now you have even more’. that’s not about nicky getting tortured. that’s not about joe getting tortured. thats about the possibility that andy could be bleeding out in front of their eyes.
and that must have been especially terrifying for joe, because joe and nicky didnt know the extent of the damage done to andy, and nicky was at least red cross at some point, so he may have some knowledge of Mortal First Aid, but if andy’s reaction to the medical stuff at the corner store was any indication, the OG4 probably have a fairly vague sense of how fast Normal People heal, and what counts as fatal to them.
joe hears booker say ‘i killed her’ and ‘shes not healing’. andy’s covered in blood and already looks half dead. kozak is scrambling to hook andy up to stuff. for all joe knows, andy could be seconds or minutes from death in that scene. and shes so important to him, to him and nicky. theyve known her hundreds of years, she’s been their leader for hundreds of years, their closest friend, their oldest friend. the idea of losing her now must be terrifying.
and i think that reaction joe has when he first hears andy isnt healing is a really good synergy of that fear + anger response. you know? it’s like ‘oh god not this’ in a frightened way and ‘oh god not this’ in an vexed way. like ‘dont we have enough shit to deal with right now?’
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and i think there’s something to be said about the fact that when nicky tells joe to stop, joe keeps yelling at booker. but when andy tells joe to stop, he literally doesnt say another single word to booker for the rest of the movie
and on top of that, we see joe sending andy these worried little glances throughout the penthouse fight. he was the one to tell the others to cover andy. like. he was visibly frightened for her.
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and so joe finds out that booker’s betrayal was the reason for all this fear throughout the movie, and then joe has an outlet for it. so: he yells at him. so hes angry at him.
& thats what the movie keeps showing us, again and again. joe is put in a situation where he might lose a loved one, and that terrifies him like we dont see anything else scare him-- and then that fear leads to anger. i just think it was really. like. thoughtful and a precise attention to detail that that cycle was shown again and again for joe, that he didnt just, like, get pissed out of nowhere for no reason, he was given a specific and relatable reason for getting angry every time he did, and that anger also helps you get a better sense of who joe is & what he prioritizes.
ie. it all comes down to love, for him, and that’s like. the hallmark of his character (nicky’s too). like the base of him comes down to love. and.
i wuv him.
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pinoyrella · 9 months ago
“A Love So Beautiful” Chapter 7
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Chapter 7: Two Days and One Night
FT: Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Yachi Hitoka, Fukurodani + Nekoma + Nohebi
TW: Mild Language + Minor Injuries (Kuroo get a lil booboo, Yaku ankle go brrr)
Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst, Coming of Age + Slow Burn
- This chapter contains fluff, comedy and drama.
WORD COUNT: 5,000+
“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸
A/N: HIIIII omg how r u guys 🥺 i was having a hard time figuring out how to... do this chapter, but i hope you enjoy! pls forgive me for the cringe and cheesiness of everything i fken swear im trying but i- ToT call me macaroni bc i be cheesy 🙈
PS: This chapter is taking place during the Cats vs. Owls OVA that comes after season 3! (and also a few minutes of s3 ep10)... I’m trying my best to line up the story w the actual series ToT, so it’s currently ur first year - spring time! Cherry blossom season is coming!!!🌸
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A warm Friday afternoon.
“What do you guys think of this design?” Yachi asks as she passes a paper over to you and Tsukishima as Yamaguchi leans in from her side. You drop your pen to your notebook before picking up the small flyer, bringing it closer to the three of you.
“This looks great Yachi! What’s it for?” She stands immediately, her hands clenched into a fist while her eyes shine with excitement. “It’s a rough sketch for the volleyball club’s poster!” “Whoa, that’s so cool! So this is what a manager’s job is?” She nods as you hand the flyer back, smiling to your friend; happy that she’s having fun and enjoying her job.
“Hey” The four of you turn your heads, watching as Kageyama makes his way through the door. “AAAAAAAHHHHHH!” The sound of a familiar scream comes down the hallway.
The four of you watch as Hinata shoves past Kageyama, nearly knocking him over. “HEY!” Kageyama begins to charge until noticing the presence of his classmates. He lets out a low grumble before following the orange boy, making his way to you.
“GUYS!” Hinata jumps excitedly, looking between the four of you. “Look!” He pulls his phone out, facing it to you guys, completely ignoring Kageyama next to him. “What is it?” Yachi asks, confused. Hinata takes his phone back and realizes his photo gallery is on-screen. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi hide a snicker before he immediately changes it to his text messages, bringing the phone back to you guys.
On his screen shows the flyer for “Japan’s National Tournament, Tokyo Area Qualifiers”. The five of you look up to him in confusion as he continues, “Let’s go!”
And this is where you found yourself, a suitcase in hand as you make your way to your seat on the Shinkansen. You try to lift your suitcase above to the compartment, but the weight of the baggage slips past your grasp. You brace yourself for impact before you open your eyes to see it in the compartment above you. Feeling a presence to your left, you turn to find Kageyama.
“Let me help you from now on” he says softly, his hand resting on the back of a seat as one is holding onto the strap of his backpack. You immediately take a step back before thanking him, making your way to sit beside Yachi.
Just behind Kageyama is Hinata, following Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, as well as other passengers. Tsukishima, obviously unamused onto why there’s a hold up “Hey King, could you hurry up?” Kageyama realizes there’s a line of people behind him, immediately sitting in the seat to the front of you.
Hinata throws his luggage above before plopping down to the side of Kageyama, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima following.
The announcement for the bullet train begins, and you soon fall into a quiet slumber, your head resting against Yachi.
“Y/n, Yachi-san… Yachi! Y/N!” You are awakened to Yamaguchi’s voice “Wake up idiot, we’re here” You turn to find Tsukishima’s face just inches away from yours. Surprised, you jump, bumping your head against Yachi’s, waking you both up.
“Ah!” You both yelp, holding onto your heads. Kageyama turns from his seat to the sound of your cry, only to find Tsukishima’s face close to yours. “Tsukki!” You hiss before apologizing to Yachi.
“Come on guys, let’s go” Yamaguchi begins removing your luggages from the compartment above, as the six of you make your way off the train. Moving through the crowd of people towards the station.
“Are we there yet?” You yawn, still exhausted, before bumping into Tsukishima’s back. “We’re here, open your eyes idiot.” You slowly open your eyes, looking up to the building in front of you. “It looks so cozy” Yachi compliments as the six of you make your way inside. “Akaashi and Bokuto-san sent me this address, one of their teammates’ relatives owns this place!” Hinata says. “No wonder you’re able to provide a place for all of us to stay for the night” Tsukishima replies, before noticing you were no longer behind him.
The sound of a huff causes him to turn around. As he turns, he sees you struggling to move your luggage above the doorstep. Sighing, he makes his way to you, but Kageyama rushes past him, helping and assisting you instead. The carpet had stuck to the wheel of your suitcase.
Tsukishima’s eyes widened in shock by the sudden movement of his teammate, before rolling his eyes, turning his attention back to his other friends.
“Thanks Tobio!” You thank as he gives another smile. “I told you, let me help you from now on” He says, tapping the right of your shoulder; before the two of you walk after your group.
Hinata and Yamaguchi make their way to the register, collecting the room key as the six of you make your way to your room.
Yamaguchi inserts the key, twisting it before Hinata opens the door, jumping right in. “TA DA!” He cheers, the five of you walking in, Tsukishima yet again, unamused.
“This room is insanely big” You comment as you settle your suitcase to the side.
“It’s going to be like a sleepover!” Hinata exclaims, Yamaguchi turning his head. “Oh, you’re right Hinata!” “Thank god it’s only for one night.” Tsukishima bluntly adds, before exploring the cupboards.
Hinata then brings his wrist up to check the time. “AH!” “What?!” The five of you turn in concern for your friend’s sudden outburst. “We have to hurry!”
The sound of shoes squeaking against the floor echo throughout the building along with balls.
“Wow, so this is the Sumida City Gymnasium?” You walk ahead of your friends, looking around before turning to face them. “It’s so much bigger than the one in Sendai!” “Well, this is Tokyo” Tsukishima replies, Yamaguchi giving a sheepish smile, before the sound of squabbling catches your attention.
“WHAT WAS THAT?!” “Stop it Yamamoto, don’t let that snake bastard get to you.” The man in green smiles, pointing his finger to the calmer guy in red. “You always have that hair, are you sure you’re not lying about your height? Are you actually 180 cm-” “HUH?! I’d never do something so petty!”
You watch as the three go at it, before someone from the red team’s group notices you guys. “Shoyo?” One says quietly as he makes his way over to you guys.
“Kenma-san!” Hinata runs over, meeting Kenma half way as the five of you follow. You hear Kageyama mumbling. “Nekoma’s setter… Nekoma’s setter… Nekoma’s setter…”
“You made it” Kenma says before Hinata nods. “Bokuto-san sent me the flyer! Akaashi-san’s teammate gave us a place to stay, and it fell into our weekend, I didn’t want to miss it!” Kenma nods before turning to face you and the others, feeling chills down the spine of his back when making eye contact with Kageyama.
“Hey, it’s skinny!” Tsukishima jolts, as Nekoma’s team follows their captain, making their way to your group and Kenma. “Long time no see, don’t tell me you’ve grown taller” “Kuroo-san” You watch the two, before the one named Kuroo turns to you. “I haven’t seen you before” He leans down, closer to your height. Tsukishima watches as he does so, feeling a bit irritated. “Hmm”
You become flustered, unable to move as his face comes closer to yours, before you feel someone pull you behind. Kageyama stands in between you two, having you to his back, silently staring at the taller senior. Everyone is surprised by Kageyama’s action, especially Kuroo before eyeing back up to his regular level as he smiles down at him.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare your friend” Kageyama ignores him, turning to face you and whispering “Are you okay?” Kuroo is left shocked by being ignored, and his teammates snicker behind him.
“I- I-” You stutter, still flustered before another player, much calmer and collected from Nekoma, approaches you. The tall figure gives you a sincere apology for his captain’s behavior. “I’m sorry about that, our captain can be a little…” He turns to look back to Kuroo, before looking to you. “A little bitch” A much shorter boy with strawberry blonde hair joins in, Kenma letting out a snort.
“HUH?! YAKU- if anyone’s a little bitch it's your short ass, Mr. 165 cm.” “165.2 CM DICKWAD!” You watch as the two seniors get into a catfight before another player walks into the situation. “Kuroo-san!” Said man turns his attention to his teammate. “The girls’ game will be done soon”
Kuroo responds with an “alright” before collecting his team together. “Be sure to cheer us on, kitten~” He winks to you before bidding your friends a farewell, walking off.
Your team makes their way up the bleachers, listening to the announcer announce Fukurodani and Nekoma’s match. You watch as a very muscular man throws his jacket in the air, only for his teammate to catch it. “BOKUTO-SAN!” Hinata cheers besides you.
The crowd from Fukurodani’s side begins to chant, before Nekoma is announced. You turn your attention to a much shorter girl with a megaphone. “Go, go Nekoma! Push it, push it Nekoma!” “Great job Cheer Captain Akane!”
The bell goes off as both teams make it to their sides, the lineup and game beginning.
Watching as Fukurodani takes the first serve, you turn to see the excitement in both Hinata and Kageyama’s eyes.
Turning your attention back to the court, Akaashi proceeds to set the ball to Bokuto. Your eyes sparkle as you see how high the man can jump, then the sound of him smashing the ball, as it hit’s Kuroo’s palm, causing it to fly up.
You don't realize the direction it’s flying too, your eyes widening as the ball comes directly your way. You bring your palms up at the perfect time, catching the volleyball immediately in your hands. You stare at it in shock as all eyes turn to you.
“HEY! HEY! HEY!!!” Bokuto cheers along with his school, getting the point.
The game continues, Fukurodani taking the lead. “Holy crap, Bokuto is a beast” You watch as the millionth spike he hit touches the ground of Nekoma’s side. “Right?! He’s so cool! Hinata exclaims before you both turn to the court, only to notice a sudden change in Bokuto’s mood, after Kuroo blocks his spike.
The crowd goes silent, and you turn to Hinata making a face of confusion.
Bokuto’s attitude changes completely, causing a break to be issued, Akaashi giving the man a pep talk.
The break ends, and they are back to the game. You notice Bokuto’s attitude had gone back to his original state, as he becomes happy to spike yet again.
“It must have been Akaashi-san who brought Bokuto-san backup.” Tsukishima comments, crossing his arms as he becomes invested into the game. You turn to smile at him, not knowing he was actually watching.
The gym goes quiet, the final set, and Bokuto’s team is winning. Nekoma is under pressure before Bokuto sends one final spike down, earning the final win for Fukurodani.
Nekoma falls in defeat, you feel remorse along with Hinata for them, knowing Hinata really hoped to play against them at Nationals.
The six of you walk out of the gym. “So… Nekoma isn’t going to Nationals?” You ask, feeling stupid for asking such a question, before Yamaguchi speaks. “No, not unless they lose this next match.” “What?” “For Tokyo, unlike Miyagi, they have two Representative slots open, while a third for venue sponsorship.” He explains as you tilt your head, still confused. “Dumbass” Tsukishima jokingly insults, flicking your forehead. “There are four teams playing here, only one of those four won’t be able to go to Nationals. The other three, will be going. If Nekoma wins the next match against the other team, they will be going to Nationals” Tsukishima explains in a much easier way. “Ah! Thanks Tsukki!” You thank him, not even realizing he had called you a dumbass.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go cheer them on!” You exclaim, the five cheering after you. “Yeah!”
“Do you even know where the next match is being held?” You stop to turn, looking at Tsukishima. “Nope!” You say with a smile.
You follow as Yamaguchi leads you to another court, on the other side of the venue.
As you make your way past the gates, you stop with Yachi, the delicious scent of food surrounding the air. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima turn to see you too, before looking at each other. “Do you guys want to get food before the game starts?” You look up to your two friends, pleading with puppy eyes before Tsukishima sighs.
“Hinata, Kageyama!” Yamaguchi calls his friends ahead of them. The two stop to turn as you run up to them. “Do you guys want anything from the stalls?” You ask. “You guys can go find the seats! I can take care of everything myself!” You state, as Tsukishima looks to you. “By yourself? You have two hands. Two hands. You barely even know how to use them, and there’s six of us. There’s no way you can gather food for everyone, and make it back in one piece.” The blonde bean pole says, before you give him a pout.
“I’ll go with you boss.” Kageyama butts in, standing to your side as he ruffles your hair. “Tobio! Stop doing that” You laugh as you fix your hair before looking back to Tsukishima. “That settles it! Now go, get us seats!” You shoo your friends away before walking away with Kageyama, missing the glare Tsukishima gives Kageyama.
Standing in front of a takoyaki stall, you order the biggest plate, before noticing Kageyama to the stall besides you. Paying for your order and taking the ticket, you make your way to Kageyama as he pays for something.
“What did you get?!” You ask him in excitement. He jumps in surprise by your sudden presence before looking down to you, bringing the item he had brought up to your view. You stare as it dangles from his fingertips, a cute trinket in the shape of a strawberry milk carton. You blink before he grabs the ends of your bag, bringing it up to his level.
You watch in confusion as he is attaching it to your bag’s zipper, before speaking.
“It’s for you” He looks to meet you eyes as he gently drops your bag, letting it hang off your arm again. You stare at him, before looking down to it, then back up to him. “What? Tobio-” “It just reminded me of you.” He says giving a soft smile before taking the ticket from your hand and walking back to the takoyaki stall.
You watch as he walks off, looking down to the keychain with a small smile, really grateful for a friend like him.
Making your way into the gym, you scan to find Yamaguchi waving for you. “Kageyama- Y/n! Over here!” You make your way to them, Kageyama follows with the box of takoyaki in his hands. Handing out the sticks, you push Kageyama to be in the middle, then opening the lid to the box.
“It smells so good!” Hinata exclaims as he’s about to poke his stick into a ball. “Thank you y/n!” Yamaguchi and Yachi say in sync, as you make your way to Tsukishima, handing him a stick before he declines. “Are you not hungry?” “Not really” He bluntly replies, you pout again before turning back to the others, stabbing your stick into a ball.
Then turning your attention back to the court, seeing the game between Nekoma and Nohebi has already begun.
“Lev! Stop flailing your arms around! I can’t dig the damn ball!” Yaku yells, scolding the taller boy. “But Yaku-san, you’ll still get the ball no matter what!” He snaps back frustrated. You watch as the Yaku scratches the back of his head, taking it as a compliment. Kuroo gives him a look of annoyance before resuming back to their positions.
The game between the two continues, Nohebi taking the lead as Nekoma fights back. Just as Nohebi’s captain is about to spike, Lev jumps, sending it flying upwards. “One touch!” He yells, as Yamamoto runs after to hit it, then causing it to fly further away. “Shit!”
Just as the ball makes it into the audience, you watch as Yaku catches up to it, sending it back to the court. “WOW!” You cheer for him, impressed by his quick reflexes. Turning your attention towards the ball, you watch as Nohebi tries to keep the ball from touching the floor. Their captain, sending it flying up towards the net, before Lev jumps again, immediately smashing the ball back down to their side of the court.
The gym cheers as Lev turns to Yaku in excitement. Your eyes follow his, only to see Yamamoto assisting Yaku. “He fell-” Yamaguchi says. “He landed on someone’s foot as he was trying to get the ball.” You look at Yamaguchi before back down at Yaku limping. Yaku turns to apologize to the guest before facing the court. “I’m fine!” He yells, taking a step and immediately feeling a shock of pain course through him.
Just as he falls, Yamamoto catches him as their coach makes their way to them. “Shibayama!”
“I hope Yaku-san’s going to be okay” Yachi adds as the match continues. You watch as the coach tends to Yaku’s wound, before going back to the game.
Nekoma struggles, getting used to Shibayama now on court. Nohebi is still in the lead and the gym watches in anticipation.
Shibayama visibly looks calmer, adjusting himself before Daisho spikes the ball towards him. You hold your breath until Shibayama is able to stop the ball, sending it up before Kuroo smashes it back down to Nohebi’s side of the court.
“All right!” Nekoma cheers as you give out a sigh of relief. “You seem really invested into the game” You turn and notice Tsukishima looking down towards you. “Well, it’s really interesting…” You blush, stabbing another ball and plopping it into your mouth.
Nekoma begins catching up, getting used to the new player on the court, very close to winning the set.
The whistle blows, a new player making his way onto the court.
“A pinch server” You overhear behind you. “Didn’t that guy dislocate his thumb in the last match?” Turning your attention back to the court, you watch just as the ball barely hits the net. Kuroo and Nobuyaki catch it, before Fukunaga sends it to the other side. You watch the ball, thinking it would make it in before the whistle blows once again. “Out!” The pinch server yells.
“Out? No way!” Hinata cries. Bringing your hand up to your chin, “He blocked it”. Your friends turn to you, as you continue. “I saw the ball, it was in the court, but the pinch server guy, he extended his fists to block the referee from seeing it.” “Whoa…” “Talk about conniving” Tsukishima adds, before taking the stick in your hand, stabbing a ball and bringing it up into his mouth.
You turn to look up at him, watching as he puts the same stick you had placed on your lips to his. ‘Indirect kiss’ You think, bringing your palms up to cover your face, letting out an internal scream.
“Y/n-chan!” Yachi faces you. Kageyama and Hinata turn to look at you, then to Tsukishima, before Tsukishima looks back to them shrugging his shoulders as he focuses back on the game.
“Shibayama!” You watch the captain make his way off the court. “Wait- What happened to Kuroo-san?” “I think he busted his fingernail” “Ouch....” Turning your attention to the scoreboard, Nekoma is a point away from winning the game, to have their captain subbed out at a time like this is a big risk.
Daisho jumps, aiming for Lev before switching to Shibayama. Fortunately, the boy is able to receive it, sending it to Yamamoto before he aims to smash it. The ball then touching the Nohebi’s middle blocker’s hands before flying up, and far from the court. You watch as Daisho attempts to chase after it, only for it to fall, finally touching the floor. The match has ended.
“Thanks for the game!” The teams exchange before Yaku meets with his team, eyes filled with tears as he hugs them.
You watch as Kenma looks up to the stands, finding Hinata and giving him a nod. You turn to your friend, watching the smile spread throughout his face. He can’t wait to play against them at Nationals.
Walking out of the venue, you look up to notice as it’s night time already.
“I didn’t even think it was so dark outside already” You comment, Kageyama turning his head to you, watching the moon shine in your eyes. “We better get going before” Yamaguchi states, leading the way back to the cozy inn.
“Ah!” You let out, dipping into the onsen besides Yachi. “This feels so good!” Your cheeks redden from the temperature in the room. “This is so relaxing, I’m so happy we were all able to come together, traveling is so much fun, especially with your friends” Yachi replies before you give her a smirk. “And especially without your parents!”
The two of you share a laugh as the boys prepare the futons.
“One, two, three, four...” Yamaguchi counts. “I think we’re missing two more futons.” “Really?” Hinata recounts the futons. “Oh, I’ll go ask for more!” “I’ll come with you Hinata!” Yamaguchi exits the room with Hinata, unintentionally leaving Kageyama and Tsukishima together.
The two not even realizing they were the only ones left in the room, turn to face each other, then turning around to scan the room, only to notice Yamaguchi and Hinata are no longer with them. The tension is intense and super awkward.
They separate, going to opposite sides of the room.
As Tsukishima is about to place his headphones on, he feels a stare from behind him. Turning to see Kageyama staring at him. “What?”
Kageyama turns away immediately. “N-n… Kni.. Knife… N...” “Huh?” “Nothing!” “You should have said it clearly the first time.” Tsukishima glares back before you walk in with Yachi.
“Oh? Where are Yamaguchi and Hinata?” You ask. “Right behind ya! Excuse us” Yamaguchi replies, as Hinata runs in, dropping the futons down. “I told you I could have helped carry one.” Yamaguchi sighs before helping spread the last two futons out.
You turn your attention back to Kageyama, who is in the corner of the room. Making your way over, you squat to him. “Why are you so far away from us Tobio?” Kageyama snaps his head, coming face to face with you. He immediately stands, flustered from the close contact, before you rise up with him, giggling. All while Tsukishima hears your giggles through his headphones.
As night falls, you lay on your futon, your eyes shut as the sound of rustling keeps you awake.
“Hinata?” You whisper. The rustling stops, as he turns around facing you. “Yeah?” “You okay?” You ask in concern. “I can’t really sleep, did you bring your stationery pouch?” He replies quietly. “Ah” As you reach over to your bag to grab the pouch for him, the lights turn on, waking everyone up.
“Ugh-” “What happened?” “Hinata, what the hell” Tsukishima puts his glasses on, looking up slowly to the boy standing in the middle of the room, facing the five of you.
“Lets play a game!”
“A game?” The three question as Kageyama is still asleep in his futon.
And this is where you found yourselves, gathered in a circle around the kotatsu.
Hinata makes his way around, handing each person a slip of paper as your pens are spread across the middle of the kotatsu.
“Okay, now everyone grab a pen!” You all grab a pen, waiting for the boy’s instructions.
“In this game, we are going to write down a confession. Then, we are going to fold it, place it in the center of the table, mix it around, and we are all going to take one script!” He says as he plops back down to his seat in excitement. “What are we, 8? This is so stupid” Tsukishima comments before removing the cap of the pen, wanting to get this over with.
Intrigued, you take your pen, resting it above the slip of paper thinking of what to say. You try your best to sneak a peek from your friends’ slips, but you are all spread out a little too far. You put the pen to your chin before your eyes wander to Tsukishima, an idea finally popping to mind.
‘I really like someone in this group, but please keep it a secret.’ You write before folding your paper, being the first to drop it in the center of the table. Tsukishima glances up, giving a low smile seeing you excited, even for such a silly game.
Just as everyone drops their slip on the center of the table, Hinata jumps, swooping the papers up into his hand, and shaking them around if he were rolling dice, before bringing his cupped hands around, asking for everyone to grab a script.
You take one from his palm, waiting for the next instruction. Once Hinata makes his way to everyone, a single slip in his hands he begins. “Ready? Okay, let’s open them!”
You all begin to slowly open your scripts, reading what is written. You freeze as you read yours.
‘I’m in love with Y/n.’
You feel your soul leave your body, immediately looking around between the group of your friends, then to Tsukishima as he keeps his eyes on his.
“Yay! We’re done, okay goodnight” Hinata says before jumping back into the covers of his futon, immediately turning and falling asleep.
The five of you look at the boy in disbelief, before heading to bed.
You toss and turn in your futon, unable to fall asleep. Slowly getting up, you make your way out to the balcony, shutting the sliding door quietly as you lean on the railing.
Letting out a huff, you gaze up into the sky, resting your head against your arm, not noticing the door sliding open and close.
“What are you going?” You jump, turning around to see Tsukishima standing with his hands in the pockets of his team jacket. Letting out a sigh, you pout as he makes his way over besides you, leaning his back against the railing.
“Don’t scare me like that!” You quietly scold him before turning yourself to the night sky, missing the small smile he gave.
“I couldn’t sleep” You admit, as you rest your chin on your arm again. “That makes two of us” He replies, turning to lean on the railing with you, facing the night sky. “What happened?” You look at him before answering. “Nothing much really, I’m just overthinking.”
Tsukishima stays silent, the guilt still eating him up from the time he had brought you to tears during the Spring Interhigh Finals. Were you just as bothered by this as he was? Has it been keeping you awake restless at night? Did he really do this to you? He wishes, if he could promise to never hurt you again, he wouldn’t waste a second to commit.
But really, you were thinking of the confession you received on the script. You don’t realize how quiet Tsukishima’s been before you ask him. “Why are you still awake?” He looks to you immediately, staring into your eyes before shrugging. “I just felt off” “Off? What’s wrong Tsukki?” You ask concerned. He lets out a sigh, before standing up completely, facing you.
You watch as he gazes down at your features, confused as he takes his hands out from his pockets.
“I’m sorry y/n” He begins, looking straight into your eyes. The look he gives you, is a look of absolute sincerity. You tilt your head, still confused, as you were about to respond he continues. “I’m really sorry about what happened during the Spring Interhigh Finals, in the infirmary.” Your eyes widening, remembering that day.
“I…” He continues, and you listen. “I didn’t mean anything I said. I was very frustrated with the game, and how useless I felt when I had to leave because I let myself get hurt during the match… It’s still honestly, not an excuse to take everything out on you. But after seeing-” He stops himself, his eyes turning away as he was just about to admit his final outburst was due to seeing you in Kageyama’s jersey.
“After seeing?” You question still looking up to him. “After seeing… you… in Kageyama’s jersey…” He mumbles the end as he takes a deep breath looking back to you, completely flustered. You blink, looking down, registering what he just said. ‘After seeing me copy a jerky?’
He takes a step closer to you, “It was the last straw, and I allowed my harsh emotions to drown you.” You turn your attention back to him. “You didn’t deserve that. Especially when you were there for me. When you came to support me, and the team. And, I know it doesn’t look like it at most times, maybe all the time, but, I appreciate you so much. I’m very fortunate to have you in my life, even after so long.” You look up to him. “I’m really sorry y/n.” He finishes, his gaze stuck to you as he awaits your response.
You blink once more, eyes tearing as you give a warm smile. These are one of those very rare moments with Tsukishima you have come to treasure deeply. “I forgive you Tsukishima Kei.”
His eyes widen as his body comes closer, his arms wrapping around you unconsciously. You still, surprised by his action. Before exhaling calmly as you feel the warmth from him around you. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you cling to him. Your face pressed into his jacket, mumbling something.
“Huh?” Tsukishima pulls away, his arms still wrapped around you as he looks at you in confusion. “What did you say?” “Can you make me a promise, Tsukki?” He stares, waiting for your request. “Can you promise to never hurt me again?” Not even taking a second to think. “I promise, pipsqueak.”
“You get three strikes, this is your first one” You give a final cheeky smile before muffling your face back into his sweater as he lets out a sigh of relief, placing a hand to the back of your head, bringing his chin to rest above it.
He promises to himself as he holds you close, a smile warming his face.
‘And it will be the last.’
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A/N #2: WAAAA!!! thank you so much again for reading💞 im sorry if tsukki seems a little off, i wanna think tsukki is actually v soft when it comes to emotional and sentimental situations.. at least w the ppl he doesnt mind showing that side to, u kno what i mean?
ohh!!! i also have one more or 2 exciting news!!!
i have another series wip on the way! once im able to get the prologue and at least plan the next 5 chapters, it’ll be posted!! im so excited bc i love osamu sm pls.. oops i said his name 😳
i also plan for another series but, im still debating whether or not to write it bc, as u can see, i cant write angst for shit let alone write in general how r u guys still here ASDFGHJKL😭
anyways, i hope to see you in the next chapter!! thank you so much for putting up with my bad grammar and english, i love uuu guys 💖
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i will now go back to my excessive amount of homework and studying to do, let us pray for my dumbass, amen.😔🙏🏼
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TAGLIST: @cvlliesstuff , @strawberries-en-cream , @beanst0ck , @kimiiiiiiiiii, @lucyheartfilias-wife , @lanatheawesome , @owlnymph​ . 
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“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸
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goodlucktkachuk · a year ago
Frantic -- Matthew Tkachuk (Pt.1)
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a/n: I’ve spent the past 48 hours reading fanfiction for this man, it is time I write something
Summary: Growing up around the game y/n has met too many hockey players to name but one of her brothers old team mates always held a special place in her mind. Running into Matthew wasn’t what she had in mind but maybe it was a good thing.
Word Count: 1.5K
Warnings: age gap
Frantic was the only way to describe you on this cold February morning. Overtired from a frustrating night of painting, annoyed at your roommate and already stressed about tonight's game. As you manover your body through the streets of Toronto the air was almost too cold to handle. Not remembering a jacket or boots, it was just you, your coveralls over an old sweater and beat up vans dredging through the snow to the coffee shop around the corner. Your head was throbbing as you were walking but the streets were quiet for 7am and that was the only thing you appreciate about the day so far.
“Stupid pregame rituals, stupid Nick, stupid Emily reminding me I made a promise.” You grumbling as you throw yourself into the store, shuffling to the side knowing your mobile order would be up soon. Closing your eyes you bring your hands up to your face to relieve some of the from tension from your eyes  you're met with the cold feeling of wet paint on your skin. This morning just kept getting better.
“Mobile order for Y/N!” The barista yells, snapping you out of your bitter attitude. You say a soft thank you as you turn on your heels, suddenly being met with the hard chest of the man standing behind you. As you pull away your face drops as you see blobs of black and blue paint where your face hit is white hoodie.
“Oh my god! I am so so sorry. Game day turns me into a mess, at least let me--” He cuts you off before you offer to pay for his drink. Looking up, you’re thrown off when you meet his eye. You haven’t seen Matthew in probably four years. He’s filled out, the curls on his head suit him and his blue eyes are still the same. A blush creeps over your cheeks of as memories of watching him practice and endless team dinners filled your mind. You wonder if he recognizes you but his words confirm that you are in fact a stranger to him.
His first statement is extreamly blunt for how early it is “You’re too much of a mess to work for either organization.” 
You were a little thrown off. He scans you up and down before he continues. “Guessing by how young you look you’re probably a girlfriend so…” He drags the o-sound out for far too long making you giggle slightly then he keeps going “Which leaf will be paying for my hoodie in punches tonight?” His face twists into a wicked smile as he waits for a response.
Taking a deep breath you reply. “Technically, Nick Robertson… BUT I’m not his girlfriend nor is it his fault that your clothes are ruined. Plus I think my roommate would prefer I wasn’t the reason her boyfriend loses some of his teeth.” You voice trailed off near the end because the thought of that happening made your head hurt even more.
He stands there as you watch the gears turn in his head. In a moment of quick thinking you blurt out, “I’m a flames fan! If that makes this situation better.” Smiling slightly as he rolls his eyes.
Quietly he says, “Fine, I’ll let it slide… but I better see you in the stands in red tonight sweetheart.” He flashes you a wink as he reaches past you to grab his coffee and he quickly leaves you standing in the empty shop once again.
Dumbfounded, your phone begins to buzz in your pocket seeing your moms name flash across your screen. You groan internally and talk to her the whole walk back to the apartment as you replay your meeting with Matt.
“Y/N are you ready yet!! We’re going to be late!” Emily screams from the living room as she adjusts her beanie for the millionth time and looks at Nick’s last in the mirror with a goofy smile.
You were standing in your room with two jerseys staring back at you. You couldn’t make up your mind between the blue and white #16 and the red and black #19. You knew the consequences of both choices and decide you could deal with Tkachuk’s bad attitude. Slipping the leaf jersey over your shoulders it swallows you whole but the hoodie you have on underneath makes up for that a bit. You pull on a black Nike ballcap, grab your bag and meet Emily in the living room. As she goes to ask you what the hell you are wearing you just shake your head and start for the door.
The guys are doing their big entrance into the arena as you and Emily make your way to your seats next to the penalty box. She’s scolding you the whole time about missing warmups and how she’ll be getting an earful from Nick later about being late. You zone out as you scan the ice for Matt. Unfortunately, he finds you before you can find him and a frown is glued to his face. Like you decided earlier, you will deal with him later.
The game was actually pretty good with the Flames winning in overtime. Matt shooting you dirty looks every time he was sent to the box which kinda made you laugh. Standing in the family and friends area, Nick is one of the first out, pulling Em aside to ask where you guys were and probably looking for support after the game. Leaving you fend for yourself. A few minutes pass and Matty is out now along with a few other leaf players who were hanging close by, you instantly catch his eye. Making his way over to you he puts his hand over your head and uses two fingers to lift your chin so you meet his eye.
“I thought I asked you to wear red tonight princess, you’re breaking my poor little heart.” He slides his tongue over his bottom lip, cocky grin never faltering.
Returning his energy you push up on your toes as you breathe on his neck “You haven’t seen what I’m wearing underneath this yet, handsome.”  
Surprise covers his face and quickly turns into lust again. Before he can say anything you duck under his arm, running full force towards Mitch as he approaches. Opening his arms for a hug, you hurl yourself at him and he spins you around. As Matthew watches, jealousy burns in his chest as he approaches you to chirp Marner.
Before he has a chance to bite, Mitch starts laughing.
“I can’t believe you actually wore it, must been torture for you.” He ruffles your hair and you scoff at his antics.
“I swear you told her about the bet just so you could watch me in pain.” Your smile was so radiant as you laughed Matthew couldn’t help but smile too.
“I swear I didn’t! I just knew mom would want to know how your midterm piece went more than how I was feeling about a game.” Matthew was a few feet away still pretending to play on his phone as he listened to the two of you so he wasn’t sure if he heard Mitch right.
“Matty! I didn’t see you there, bring it in buddy!” Mitch called him over, bringing him into a tight hug. You stood there awkwardly watching the two old friends catch up when Mitch finally remembers you’re there.
“Oh hey, you remember my little sister Y/N from when you lived in London right.” The second the words left your brother's mouth, a look of horror crosses Matthew’s face. The last time he had seen you, you were fourteen years old. The Y/N he remembered was quiet and collected. Always had her head buried in a book at games and never really gave the boys the time of day because you were never interested in hockey when you were a young girl. But now you stood before him, a woman. You had dyed your hair, lost your baby face, got glasses and your style had done a 180. Standing in front of the two of you now, he didn’t realize how he could’ve missed the obvious resemblance between you and your brother.
Shyly you smile and say “It’s nice to see you again, Matthew.”
Still in shock he nods and says. “Still the same mini marnie for sure.”
After a bit more chatting Mitch decides it’s time for you guys to get dinner so you part Matthew with heartfelt goodbyes and ‘until we see each other again’.
Once you guys leave Matthew stays in place ordering himself an uber, thinking about what just happened. He feels a slight tap on his shoulder. Turing meets a not too happy Auston and he knows he’s in trouble. Going to apologize for stealing Austons stick he’s met with a very different topic.
“I’m just letting you know that Jake and I heard what you said to Y/N earlier and I want to remind you that she’s like a sister to all of us so you better watch yourself Tkachuk.” Matthew says nothing and simply nods because chirping Aus was dangerous territory especially when it involved family.
You were back at Mitche’s apartment after dinner to spend some time together. Or so he says, you knew he was just lonely because Steph was out of town. When he gets up to call her in between episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine it  gives you a chance to check your phone. There were a few tags on instagram and a handful of snapchats you’d answer in the morning but one notification stood out against the rest.
Follower Request: matthew_tkachuk
Part Two
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taecalikook · a year ago
(Not) Just Friends
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summary : Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not exactly your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermillion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So is Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and... a certain Kim Seokjin.
{friends to lovers! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}
pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim seokjin)
genre : major fluff, a sprinkle of angst and borderline crack
word count : 24.612 (one-shot)
“Hi, pumpkin! Is that for me?”
You were just sipping on your morning espresso, sitting in your favorite coffee shop while reading your favorite book of all time when the familiar annoying voice of your childhood best friend rang in your ear. You look up, finding the hateful smirk on his lips that you desperately want to strangle off of him, more for interrupting your sacred solitude morning routine—well not really solitude since you did promise him breakfast before class today. But as per usual, he just had to steal the glass you had in your grasps, sipping on the tasteful liquid while scrunching his eyebrows on your choice of reads.
“Isn’t it too early for The Great Gatsby in such a wonderful morning?”
“Isn’t it getting too old for you to keep drinking my coffee?” You bite back in the same bratty manner he displays. Jungkook chuckles, resting the cup back with a slight grimace. Probably because the coffee is tad too bitter for a sweet-crazed tooth like him. “You don’t even like espresso. I don’t even know why you always want a taste of my coffee.”
“Nah, I just want to mess with you fam.” He smirks, the bitterness still leaving a mark on his taste buds. Serve him right, you roll your eyes and try to center your attention back to your book. This idiot really knows no boundaries when it comes to you, you swear to God.
You and Jungkook have been best friends since both of you were kids. As cliché as it sounds, you met Jungkook when he was a total nerd in fifth grade of elementary school. He perfectly embraces the nerd stereotype at that time, thick ass glasses, braces, carrying books and his neon green nintendo nearly everywhere. You were not really interested in befriending the nerd, but when he got shamed by the cool girls for giving them chocolates for Valentine's Day—an expensive chocolate, for anyone keeping notes—you quickly stepped in when it seemed like it went overboard. 
Jungkook was bullied in the middle of the school yard with everyone to witness, for giving the girl he likes a chocolate on fucking Valentine’s Day. You noticed how ashamed he was—lips quivering, heads hanging low and the most distinctive feature is his cheek and ears, literally turning to the shade of vermillion. You did not know whether it is healthy for a face to be that red—you were terrified he might pass out—but yet those girls were still keen on mocking his sincere acts and his shy expression, not showing a sign to stop anytime soon.
Your consciousness literally forced you to step in, jumping on between them and literally yell at those girls. You forcefully stole the chocolate from one of the girls' grasp, eating them on the spot and shouted in irritation, “Done! I ate everything, so stop bullying him. You girls should be ashamed of yourself, he did nothing wrong!”
The imbecile girls were embarrassed, because their show was immediately stopped by an unpopular girl they never saw before in front of the whole school to see. One girl who seemed to be like the leader of the lunatic gang suddenly moved forward and pushed you until you fell on your back, and you know that was it. You seriously had been waiting to use your taekwondo skills for a better cause, and at that time, you saw the chance and took it whole-heartedly. You were not even using your full strength on her—you mostly used your defense technique when she was giving multiple amateur punches. You really lost everything when she grabbed your hair and pulled it hard (like most amateur girls would fight). The pain on your scalp hurt from the vicious pull, so you mildly used the front kick technique on her to push her away yet she easily fell down like a limp noodle, scraping her body with a small amount of the blood trickling out.
After the fight ensued and was broken off by one of the teachers, you and the crying girl were taken to the headmaster’s office. You were going to be punished severely, but fortunately some witnesses came to your rescue, you and the girl received punishment of detention for one month straight. Somehow, the spoiled annoying girl got out of the punishment with her parents persuasion, yet not really the same for your strict parents. They were furious for you to be punished for a physical fight in school that they directly cut you from your twice-a-week taekwondo classes you loved so much—thinking that it must be a bad influence for you. Not only that, you were also grounded and was forbidden to go out of the house for a month. You were devastated, but you know there was no way to change their minds, so you just sucked it up and promised to do your punishment well.
Day one of your punishment, you were sitting inside the detention class, the teacher was zooming off on the table with a documentary of Helen Keller played on the television. You were doodling on the back of your book in boredom. Suddenly, amongst the silence, a hush was heard in front of you, whispering your name. You shifted your head, finding the same boy directly on the table in front of you.You must absolutely did not expect it to be him—the nerd you saved from raging selfishness of the slow-minded girls.
“Hi... I got into detention to accompany you...” 
You inspected the boys with scrunched eyebrows in confusion. He somehow was still with the vermillion shade of red coloring his supple cheeks, just like last week when you were defending him. Is he... sick? He better be not, cause if he were, you were going to regret not setting the girl straight a little bit harder. The adamant despise towards injustice firing inside you was ignited by the lesson you always received from your taekwondo class, how you always must use your strength for goodness. Yes, you indeed will be missing going to Taekwondo classes. 
Realizing your mind had been anywhere but here, you straightened in your seat and tilted your head in confusion at the guy. “Are you okay? You look so… red.”
The boy quickly hid his cheeks with his palm, eyes not meeting yours out of shyness. It looked like he wanted the world to swallow him firsthand. “I—I’m sorry! I just have this weird physical habit of turning super red whenever I'm shy or angry..” He whispered, nibbling on his lips while still avoiding your eyes. “I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable..”
“Nope.” You answered with a loud pop on the last ‘p’, sending the boy a warm smile. “It doesn’t bother me in any way. You should not be ashamed of that. That’s cute.”
Well if you thought his face was already red, you could not imagine how more red it could turn into after you called him cute. Out of panic, you swiftly handed him the cold drinks sitting on your desk. “H—hey! You are too red, it is not possible. Put this on your face!”
After a few seconds he spent pushing the cold bottle to his face, you could finally see him breath again. You were unable to hold a smile looking at the boy, huffing his breath repeatedly to calm himself. You did sincerely find him cute, so different from the boys from your school who somehow really got on your nerves from constantly bragging about nearly everything. Their expensive belongings, their parent’s house, their ability to play sports, and it sickened you. Well you didn't really know the boy in front of you, but it seemed like he wasn’t the type to. You were prepared to drop him the second a cocky symptoms were found though, even if internally you wish he wouldn’t. You spared so much of your effort to take on the guy’s side, such a waste to do that on another thick-headed prick.
“I just realize I don’t know your name.” You suddenly thought to yourself after multiple times addressing him as ‘the nerd’ or ‘this boy’. He was just giving your drinks back to your desk, and then he shyly put out his hands to you.
“Hi.. My name is Jungkook. I am ten years old, and I came from Busan. I have one brother and one dog. My hobby is playing games and taking a bath! Nice to meet you!”
You really were going to burst into laughter, but then you detect the teacher was already woken up and shooting looks at the both of you for causing such a loud commotion. You bit your lips, holding any sound from coming out fervently, your eyes trained on your desk so you would be able to hold them back. Inside, you were glad that you saved this boy the other day. This boy was too pure and kind for his own good, and you were happy that you stood for him.
Well, that was all too long in the past, you nearly had a hard time remembering it. Now Jungkook has changed, 180 degrees from that cute, shy, vermillion shade faced boy you met in elementary school. After an agonizing ten years has passed, he went from a total innocent sweetheart, such a cutie to the annoying ass of a fuckboy jock he is today. What a shame to witness the degradation, you thought to yourself. But you did know when and where it went wrong—he was just too tired of being taken too much of an advantage by despicable people around him. The friend he befriended, his chemistry lab partner in middle school, his classmates and especially the girl he dated in high school. He hated it—he hated everything that happened to him when he was trying to be the nice guy for everyone. 
So in the last year of high school—after the bad breakup with the said girlfriend—he changed everything, nearly everything until it's even hard for you to recognize him sometimes. He swore off dating and romances, he went twelve hours per week to the gym and the school’s football team, attended parties days and nights before fucking random girls, and did the bare minimum in his education due to the shift of focus. But still even by then (actually, even until today), one and only person he would always listen to was you. 
When he failed one of his subjects in the last term of high school—and seemed completely unbothered by it, you were furious at him and refused to communicate in any way to him until he got his priorities straight. He tried contacting you, but you rejected at the first beep. He waited for you in front of your class but you quickly shove him with hurtful words his way, “You stop being yourself, Jungkook. I don’t even know you anymore.” and you meant every word. You missed your best friend, you missed his innocence and availability for you, and frankly, you also had enough of hearing about how charming he was, or how good he was in bed, talked in hush by your obnoxious girls in your classes. 
Few days later, you were already resting in your house while reading a book and listening to the droplets of the heavy rain knocking down on your roof, until a hesitant knock was heard on the door. You shuffled to open the door to find, was expecting your brother coming home from college, but instead found Jungkook, drenched in front of your porch with the remedial sheet on his hand—written that he passed the said subject with flying colors. You were surprised that he even got the chance to fix his grade, but after telling you he needed to do a fifty page review of the economic systems around the world to even got the chance to remedial test, you did realize how much he put an effort to pass a subject he didn’t even like. Somehow, it resulted in more happiness on you than you thought it would be. You couldn’t deny you were already contemplating whether you were too harsh or nosy on him, or he would just drop you the second you push him away. You were on the edge, imagining that you would lose a best friend because of your annoying attitude and peskiness. But he came through.
After welcoming Jungkook to take a bath and wear your brother’s clothes, you offered him a glass of hot chocolate, his favorite drink. But you noticed that he was still pouting, so you questioned it. “I am thankful that you knocked some sense into me, but Y/N, don’t ever ignore me like that again…” Jungkook’s pout turned deeper, his knuckles pushing your forehead in annoyance. 
“You are the last person who I ever wanted to turn against me.” He whispered after seconds of silence of just staring at each other, eyes turning gleam that knocked some guilt inside your chest. You nodded silently, promising that you would not do that kind of antics again.
You remember that day like the back of your hand—after a long time, you see how vermillion-shaded his face has returned after telling you how thankful he was for your presence as his best friend during the past ten years, and your straight-up attitude that set him straight during his weak times. He cried that day, telling you how hard everything was for him. Behind those strong facade and muscle, you realized he was still the innocent, vulnerable nerd with a vermillion-shaded face you met ten years ago. You missed those innocence he finally displayed, and it brought you back to times when it was just you and him against the world. 
Even after that day Jungkook still continues all his fuckboy ways, and until now after both of you went to the same university. He is taking an industrial engineering major while you were doing your life-long dream of taking political science, both of your faculties are located near each other. Jungkook was still being the same Jungkook he was, he joined the football team and brother frat in college, filled with dumb rich jocks who held parties nearly twice a week. After getting few drinks in the party, he would fall into meaningless sex with the girl he just knew before. Not that you mind, you have been way too accustomed in having such a best friend and it doesn’t even bother you anymore.
But still, you were confused how Jungkook is able to maintain his life together—his studies, his jock practices and his fuckboy activities in parallel. You have no objection at all for his life choices—since he never leaves you out and schedules a breakfast or lunch minimal twice per week with you to update you on what he was doing with his life and likewise. Not even counting the times he would get you from your apartment if you have the same morning class like today. By what you hear from him, it really seems like he is holding up just well. Good for him.
“Hey, stop ignoring me, you ugly ass hoe!”
You wake up from your long flashbacks, since you notice that you have been zooming out for quite a while now. You clear your throat, sipping on the coffee that has turned cold, sending apologies for not paying attention to him. “Sorry. I was distracted. You were saying?”
Jungkook frowns, his eyes squinted on you, and you know what he was doing. He was trying to diagnose your silence. You roll your eyes at his nosy acts. “Stop looking at me like that! I said I was sorry, Jungkook. Now tell me what’s bothering you. This girl you fucked with before, did she still try to contact you again?”
“I wasn’t telling you about that!” Jungkook raises his voice, his face slightly reddening out of shyness for you mentioning his bad experience on one of his one night stands. Looking at him, you are reminded about the vermillion-faced Jungkook you met in elementary school. Oh how you miss those reddening supple cheeks of his. “I was telling you if you are going to Hoseok’s birthday party this weekend. It’s gonna be lit, I swear! He is holding it in his fancy ass house with a pool and whatever.” You snort, your eyes trailing back on your books even if you are not reading at all. You just want to ignore him, implicitly telling how silly his invitation was. Parties are never your forte, you feel mildly uncomfortable in such a short distance with tons of strangers. You’d rather reread this book you are holding for the nth time already, you swear.
“Y/N, you could even meet boys there, I know how saintly you have been living lately. Live a little, pumpkin! I swear you’ll enjoy it there.” Still you don’t budge on him.
“Kim Seokjin is gonna be there, though. You sure you won’t come?”
Listening to his name, your ears perk up, eyes slightly glancing up to him. Seokjin is one of Jungkook’s frat brothers, a final year who surely does not share the same ugly traits of the other brother. He is smart, ambitious in his study, and is also the head of the Taekwondo university club. Your deep interest in Taekwondo has driven you to see him in multiple universities and external competitions, and you cannot bear yourself but to swoon over him and his rightful acts. Even if you surely do not have the courage to directly introduce yourself to him, you have been thinking a lot about joining the club with pure—well not really pure motivation. You are also unable to emphasize more that he is really one of the kindest souls out there. He is known as very helpful to everyone, joining as a volunteer in various social and environmental movements. You also heard that he had a serious relationship for five years, in which they had to break up a year ago because the girl had to move to America to pursue her study and decide to break up with him. What a doofus.
You notice the cocky, winning triumph on Jungkook’s face realizing how affected you are by the name, but you’ll set aside your will to erase the annoying smirk off of his face just to get more information out of him. “Continue.”
“He is best friends with Hoseok. I know he is not really a party type—you probably know that better than I do—but this one's for his friend's birthday party. He’ll come.” Jungkook says, munching on the served american breakfast in front of him. “You can finally meet him, probably say hi and then bone him while you’re at it. You get me?” Jungkook wickedly smiles, eyebrows dancing on his temple and you roll your eyes in response. You have such an obnoxious dickhead as a friend, and whose fault is it? Yours, of course.
“I hate you so much, Jungkook. Do you know that?” You gave him a cynical smile, and he returned it with the same bland taste, biting on the last piece of bacon. 
“Can.. Can I bring Lia too?” You hesitantly asked, biting on your lips. Jungkook’s chewing movement is slowing, an uncomfortable silence ensues.
Lia is your apartment roommate, a cute girl with the same major as yours. Short height, big round eyes and straight hair are her noticeable features, and what troubles Jungkook for Lia’s presence in your discussions, is her uncanny resemblance to his high school ex girlfriend. Her similar name, her looks, her height, her choice of outfit and nearly everything, reminded him of the girl he has been trying to forget. You were surprised while meeting her too at first, but you did not realize how the resemblance would bother Jungkook that much. Well probably, Jungkook was still trying to forget about her—hell, this whole new persona of his was founded by his heartbreak towards the bitter-ended relationship.
You remember how head over heels was Jungkook towards his ex-girlfriend. Whenever he is around her, or just thinking about her when she was brought up in your discussions, Jungkook would again turn vermillion in shyness for his adoration of the girl. He would waste hours, with all his power and wealth to make the girl happy—without telling you at that time about how much he spent for her, since he knew how fervently you would react to that—and content with the relationship they both shared. But none could prepare him for the inevitable break up, Jungkook found the girl was cheating on him with another older guy, in which he found out who was her source of income too. Jungkook was devastated, heartbroken and that's the turning point when he swore off romances and relationships at all cost. You tried your best in helping him mend the broken pieces caused by the vicious witch of an ex-girlfriend, but you know none of it was the same ever again. What you could and promise to do is to be there for your best friend, at all times.
“It’s—it’s okay. I think I am just overreacting over all of this. I swear.” He sighs, sounding a little bit tired of everything and putting the utensils on his plate. You lean closer, waiting for the continuation of his spoken mind. “I am so fucked up, Y/N. Like, there are so many things that keep reminding me of her. You know how evil she is, and everything she did to me—but I still find myself missing her so much it’s crazy. It’s been nearly two years, but I still think about her—a lot. The girl I was with last night. The girl I met at a party two weeks ago. Your roommate—gosh, i’m so tired.” He sadly groans, hiding his face behind his palm. Oh, how you wish to take away some of the pain he feels.
“I think.. I think you just need to stop pushing it away, Jungkook..” You softly speak, your palm caressing his shoulder to his arm in sympathy. Jungkook let out another sigh, resting his palm over yours, eyes filled with frustration over himself.  “I think the more you are trying to stop thinking about her, the less you are able to overcome it. Just let it go. Confront it. Confront everything that reminds you of her, and tell yourself that you are slowly but surely overcoming the hunch.”
Jungkook silently nods for a while zooming out to the street, until at one point he slowly squints his eyes on you, full of suspicion. You choose to look away, trying to be nonchalant of his suspecting gaze.
“You just want me to allow your friend to go to the party so you will have a companion to meet Seokjin, right?”
Well, you should know you are going to be caught red-handed, but it should not this fast, though. Are you that obvious or it’s just another episode of Jungkook knowing you better than you do? “You know how much I need to meet him, Jungkook! You are my friend, you should help me with this. I need her as my support.” You defend yourself, arms folded in front of your chest in agitation. You are desperately in need of  Lia there, so at least when you embarrass yourself in front of a cheering crowd—or worst, Seokjin himself—you will have support that helps you get into that taxi and drive yourself to the nearest cliff. You won’t even expect Jungkook to be  there for you, he must be off somewhere fucking bimbos and that’s just how less you expect of him.
“Hey, I can be your wingman to score him too! Are you kidding me? I am his kind, I know how to get you to him better than that friend of yours.” Jungkook scrunch his nose in distaste of your doubts about him. You scoff loudly, pushing your cold coffee away so you or Jungkook’s slob trait will not nudge or drop it to pieces mid argument. That surely happened before, and you do not want another dirty look thrown by the waitress at the both of you for causing troubles, yet again.
“Stop kidding me. First, you are not his kind. He is not a fuckboy. And what would happen if I go there with you are first, you missing at twenty minutes mark and off fucking some girl on the upstair bedroom or even worse, in the restroom and I’ll just be foolishly standing in the corner like fucking nerd who miss her literature club meeting with expectation to meet a cute, faithful guy in some dumb frat parties, fell in love and get married to happily ever after. Or second, you ignore the girls thirsting over you to accompany me and just an hour, you off to get a drink and those dumb girls will kidnap me and feed me to the lion. I don’t see any positive scenario over you, accompanying me to the party. No thanks.”
Jungkook is surely bewildered over the scenario you just play out to him. You take a deep breath, realize you have been spitting out so many words in such a short span of time. You are quite proud of that talent, though.
“That’s… strangely detailed.”
You roll your eyes, looking at the watch on your wrist. Only ten minutes left and both of you need to run to the first class.  “We need to get going now. Let’s go, you dumb jock.”
Jungkook sighs, following your step, resting a few bills on the table. “It’s my turn paying now. Let’s go.”
“Are you sure you want to wear that?”
Listening to Lia’s queries for the nth time, you sigh and go inside the bathroom to change into your comfy house clothes. You have been trying to find the perfect dress that is the perfect balance of classy and slutty since three hours ago—exactly right after you ran home from your afternoon class. But yet it seems like no dress is right, one makes you look too slutty, or another which makes you like a freaking nun amongst the girl in the party, or another one which make your butt looks massive or one that is too tight you know you can’t even breathe if you wear that to the party. And who are you even kidding? You are putting too much effort for a party that most likely will not even realize you are there. You know that you are not that excessively pretty like some girls that hangout with Seokjin and Jungkook’s frat—yes, you are not far on the other side either, but it’s still a valid point.
“I’m done. I’m just wearing anything to the party and if Seokjin can’t see me, he can kiss my ass. Probably gonna die alone anyway, why do I even try...” Your groan was muffled to the pile of clothes on your bed. Lia hisses at your sudden discouragement, she wakes up and launches a slap on your butt.
“Nuh-uh! You know how important this is to you, Y/N. You gotta try, or you’ll regret it forever!” Lia shakes you again, but you are still groaning against the clothes. Seeing how long this may drag and you still haven’t even done your hair, she has no choice but to drag you from bed until you are thrown on the floor with a loud bump.
“Ah! It hurts!”
“I know it hurts but you’ll be thanking me in the next five years when you are married to Seokjin and pregnant with his third kid.” 
“Now that’s just forward. And delusional. Seokjin is married to me? Seriously, like he even wants to deal with such a mess.” You pout while rubbing on your hurting elbow due to the unexpected fall. Even with such a small frame Lia cages animalistic power it’s unbelievable. “And I don’t even want to get married that fast! I still need to open my restaurant, I haven’t even met Liam Neeson, travel the world—”
“Wait-wait, hold on. Why Liam Neeson?”
“Because he is hot. Like real hot. Have you seen Narnia? That is one god-carved voice, damn! How I wish I could have a man with a voice like Liam. In Taken! He is so hot and protective and do you know that in Star Wars—”
Lia quickly shuts you by throwing a glittery dress to your face, disgust coloring her face. “That’s just borderline daddy kink and I hope you are well aware you are fucking weird.”
You grimace. “No argument here.”
9pm, and both you and Lia finally arrive at the large mansion which you recognize must be Hoseok’s. You check the text Jungkook sent this morning about the location’s address once again, quickly scrambling out of the car after muttering thanks to the driver to enter the huge, fancy house. Lia holds you by the waist, giving it a short squeeze of support seeing how jittery you have become since the taxi arrived. “It’s okay. You look beautiful, and Seokjin will be crazy not to see you.”
“Thanks.” You huff a breath, trying to muster a little bit confidence in your steps. It is half-working, you have to admit. 
It’s still early, yet the party is crazy enough you can’t even believe it. Every corner is busy with their own games and activities, the bass blaring in your ear until you’re this close to temporary deafness, and the outside of the house is a large outdoor pool with people laughing and girls with hot bod and bikinis. Just the perfect recipe of the best night everyone will regret—or maybe it’s just you.
You already had your fair share of parties, and you have to admit that it’s not your thing. The free booze, though? Tempting. You are trying to look at the better side of the whole ordeal. Even if you fall short and embarrass yourself in front of your crush, you get the eternal consolation of booze to help you kick the shame away. Nothing screams adult like pushing your problem away with the help of alcohol, right?
You check yourself against the reflection on the nearest mirror to you, restlessness creeping inside your head. Damn, you seriously are just a sack of old potatoes compared to these girls in clad dress and high stilettos which will surely be able to stab and kill someone. You should just pack it up and go home, really.
“Hey! I know that face, Y/N. No! We are not backing down. I did not just spend five hours of your whiny ass complaining what to wear for you to be this defeated without even trying!” Lia quickly pushes you away when you are about to run out the door for your life. You frown, ready to let out some whiny complaints when she pushes your unknowing ass away, right into someone’s arm.
From the countless people inside the freaking party you just had to fall to Seokjin’s arm. God must be joking. 
Looking straight into his beautiful, sparkling eyes, it seems like your mind is completely wiped like new, and you have the trouble of speaking your mind. His warm arms are around your shoulder, keeping you stable on your feet and this might be the nearest you have been to the taste of death.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I think you fell and I just caught you...” Seokjin smiles politely, eyes crinkled into a smile and you are still in the midst of inner conflict of speaking out anything. Out of realization how annoying your act must have been to him, you jumped feets away, desperate to keep a distance. You are really this close to running away, but do not want to be perceived like a total moron especially to him, so you let out a thin, nervous smile. 
“T—thank you for catching me.” You breathily murmur, feeling shy. How can someone not be? God, is he beautiful. His fluffy hair is styled nicely, he is wearing such a simple attire, a blue loose shirt and black denim but damn did he wear it like nobody’s business.
“No problem.” He lightly shakes his head, but a sudden realization comes to his mind as he inches closer to you, eyebrows scrunched together in question. You unconsciously lean further away from him, heart drumming fast in your chest. “I think I’ve seen you before. In my Taekwondo’s match. Right?!”
Never in a million years have you thought that Seokjin might notice—and even remember your face amongst the large crowd, watching him in his battles for your college’s team. You are always hidden, and as plain as ever whenever you watch him from the bleachers, and would run away the second whistle blows signaling the end of the competition. But now he told you he recognizes you?! Gosh, what are the odds. You have never felt so shameful and concious of your own skin before.
“Um… Yes! But you have nothing to worry, I’m not a stalker or anything, I just really like taekwondo and I like watching you—I mean the team!” You shyly correct yourself, internally punishing yourself for the accidental slip. You are such a humiliation and frankly, still too sober for this. What will you trade to forget the encounter never happened and drown yourself in booze in every form—drinks, beer, jelly shots, whatever.
“No! Of course not.” He chuckles, amused like he is really content to see you, nonchalant to how uncomfortable you are with your skin right now. You feel like a doofus, making a fool of yourself. “I really want to talk to you every time a match is finished, but you always bolt away after, I don’t have the chance to.” Then he dare to fucking winks. “But I’m glad we can finally meet here.” 
You are too confused with every act and word coming out of his mouth—did he just flirt with you?—so your reply is simple, and desperate. “Wow. Sorry, I seriously need a drink right now. Can you hold that thought?”
Seokjin chuckles and nods, his palm hovers over your back, guiding you. “I’ll come with you.” You don’t really know why he has to follow just for you to shortly grab a drink, and then he points to his empty glass. You nod knowingly, trying to focus on the booze bar you are heading to. The bar is crazy extravagant for a frat party, with the bartender pouring mixed drinks on the side. You silently gasp. Damn, Hoseok is really that rich, huh?
He continues with a cheeky smile. “I have been looking forward to talking to you since forever, and you just bolted out. Is it wrong of me to be scared you are going to pull the same trick again?”
Wow, you don’t even know what he means by that, so you let out a nervous chuckle as an answer. It is like you are back to third grade, having your first crush giving you hope by his words and you are busy configuring and overthinking everything like fucking detective conan. But you refuse to get your hopes up, your brain desperately screaming to fill your glass with your favorite whiskey. You offer him the bottle, and he smirks and receives it while purposefully brushing your hand in the process. Fuck Kim Seokjin. What happen to such a polite boy you heard so much about?!
“So, are you going to tell me about yourself?” He smiles, and your finger fidgets in nerve, quickly taking a whole gulp of the alcoholic drink, praying it to quickly intoxicate your mind so you can speak clearly in front of such handsome face. Well, for one booze is the best recipe for you during these times.
“I don’t know what you want to know about me, Seokjin. I’m just an ordinary freshman.” You smile, your teeth grazing your lower lips. But one thing you notice is that Seokjin is silent, his eyes following the movement of your bitten lips like he is completely bothered by it.
“Do you like taekwondo? I see you a lot in the match.” He starts with a simple question, while taking a large portion of his drink down his throat and ending it with a sigh. “When you were watching, you looked like you knew your stuff. It’s TMI, but I can’t help but to find it’s totally, totally hot.”
“So you are watching me watching people during a Taekwondo match?” You bravely shoot, and Seokjin let out a chuckle. You do not know what has gotten on him—or you, even at that point. What you know is that you feel your head is light, but your body is hot and bothered by just looking at him. Seokjin just literally flirts on you and all you wanna do is to jump on him and quench the thirst rubbing in the middle of your thigh.
At the time, you notice that Seokjin is bluntly staring at your lips, his eyes turned dark and heavy with lust, and his face literally inching closer and closer to you. You lick your lips, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. Is it really going to happen? Seokjin somehow, against all odds, finds you hot and that's it—you’re going to kiss him like that? Just how many years of luck do you have to sacrifice for this?
“Seokjin! Here you are. Hoseok is looking for you.”
The strange sexual tension that filled the air between you and Seokjin with your lips just inches away from each other is broken by the dumbest fuck of a best friend, Jeon Jungkook. Seokjin immediately flinches, moving away and you instinctively turn your head, your hands scratching your nape out of shyness. You swear you are going to kill your best friend after this. How dare he interrupt the moment you have been dreaming for such a long time now?!
“Thanks for that, man.” Seokjin hisses, his words dripping with sarcasm and annoyance of your interrupted session. He turns his regretful eyes to you, hands resting on your shoulder, sliding to your wrist affectionately. You do not know whether it’s just you, but your body feels like it is set on fire with his light , feathery touches. He suddenly grabs your hand, giving it a light squeeze.
“I’ll find you later, yeah? Don’t go anywhere.”
You shyly nod, and Seokjin turns his back on both of you and walks further away to the other side of the gigantic house. After his disappearance, you quickly land a hard punch on Jungkook’s arm in agitation.
“You are fucking idiot and I hate you! How dare you interrupt us like that?! We were just about to kiss, you moron!”
Jungkook frowns, rubbing on the spot you just hit. “Hey! I am doing this for your own good. You are certainly going to regret kissing that guy! He is not that good, you’re better off without him.”
You hisses at his lackluster explanation. “I don’t know what crack you are sniffing, Jeon, but you just told me yesterday to attend this party and bone him. And now you’re pulling this shit?!” 
“I know! But I just don’t like it with him. I feel like he’s up to something.” You sigh after listening to his nonsense. Seriously, you can’t believe it. The first time you ever try to flirt and kiss someone you just met, and get a response—from Kim Seokjin, more to emphasize—at a party has to be interrupted by your fuckboy best friend. You have overestimated your luck.
At your sudden silence, Jungkook takes the time to raise his gaze and take in your appearance from head to toe. You are wearing your black sleeveless bodycon dress, the one you once drunkenly bought a year ago and always have been placed on the back of your closet. You compliment your dress with a pair of red heels, fresh from Lia’s closet. Your wavy hair is styled nicely, tied up that exhibits your neck line to the slightest of your collarbone. Your makeup is rather simple, but the red lips is just the perfect end-touch to your appearance today. You are simply beautiful.
“Why are you looking at me like that, you hobo?” You snort when feeling Jungkook’s gaze is too intimidating around your body—you fold your arms protectively on your chest. At your mocking question, Jungkook quickly throws his head somewhere else, sniffling his itchy nose. He seriously needs to catch himself before he erupts and makes a fool out of himself. But one he somehow forgets is that his body is way, way more truthful in speaking his mind than he really is. 
“Hey! How was it? Have you scored Seokjin yet?”
On your side, Lia shuffles with a bottle of beer and a knowing smirk. You sigh, shaking your head mournfully. Your wingman nearly yells.
“Why?! I voluntarily shove you too, back then! I saw you guys are chilling together so I decided to grab something for a sec and now you’re telling me he’s gone and you both did nothing?!”
To answer her question, you just vehemently point Jungkook. “This asshole decided to ruin everything. Just when it is about to happen, Lia! His lips were this close.” You mourn your lost chance, mimicking his lips hovering over yours. Jungkook quickly pushes your hand away from your lips with annoyance, eyebrows scrunched together in disgust. 
“You are creepy, and I am doing this for the sake of my frat brother. He is better off with someone else.” He pouts, his face looking severely annoyed and red. But it’s not just any kind of red. It’s vermillion, just the way you remember it from your elementary school, along with the childish pout on his lips. Ignoring your previous anger at him, you scrutinize his face closely and shift his face side by side with your palm, and he looks completely flustered. What in god’s name is happening?
“Hey, why are you so red, Jungkook? Are you okay?”
At the sudden attention thrown at him, Jungkook’s face just becomes even redder—if it is even possible. Realizing that he is in a very unfortunate situation at the moment, Jungkook quickly racks his brain for any reason to avoid your pesky questions. “I—I just think it’s too hot in here. Don’t you think so?”
“There’s literally four air conditioners in this room, Jungkook. It’s freezing cold in this place. Who the fuck has four ac in just a living room anyway? Damn you, capitalism!” You hissed, unamused with his lies. Jungkook grins, realizing how idiotic he must have sounded. At your last statement, you are suddenly self-conscious about the coldness in the room, rubbing your bare arms to create friction and warmth. He quickly notices your subtle gesture.
“Are you cold? Here, use my jacket.” Jungkook instinctively offers, not even waiting for your answer and unattaching the fabric of his body. At the kind gesture, you are touched as he seems to always understand you without you even need to say a thing. But when you see he is just wearing a body-fit black shirt underneath the denim jacket he was wearing—clearly, that jacket is going to go either way—you immediately snort. That bitch is just asking for an opportunity to flex the unnecessary muscle in front of the girls there, no need for you to feel flattered whatsoever.
“God, you’re both so fuckin domestic and boring. I’m off finding fun somewhere else, don’t wait for me~” Lia coos, walking to the other side of the house along with her bottle of beer. Well, Lia basically knows her ways in and out of frat parties, so you are not worried for her. If somehow Seokjin does not find his way back in thirty minutes, you promise yourself to hitch an uber as fast as you can and bolt out of that shitshow without making a scene. 
As the girl who somehow looks exactly like his ex exits their space, Jungkook reverts his focus back on you. You are busy looking anywhere else but him, your lips clamp on the glass to sip on the beverage. “Aren’t you tired with those heels? Let’s sit somewhere else.” He offers lowly.
You comply either way, somehow feeling a little bit suspicious over Jungkook’s sudden calm demeanor. You know him and how he is at parties. He should not be with you right now, instead joining his dumb jock friends and the girls at the other side playing body shots. This is borderline weird—you don’t want to interrupt him during his fuckboy activities, now both you and Jungkook are seated on the sofa in the corner of the room. 
“Are you okay, Jungkook? You are suspiciously silent.”
Jungkook clears his throat again, but all of a sudden loses all remaining composure when your finger delightfully skims his cheek. “And your face is red. There must be something wrong. The last time I saw you like this was—”
Jungkook knows what you are about to say but decided not to. He decided to ignore your suddenly awkward gesture and answers. “It’s not that, I—I’m just not feeling it tonight.”
You suddenly scoop his fingers and squeeze it lightly. “Is it because I am here? I swear Jungkook, you don’t have to accompany me. I’m perfectly fine on my own, you know it.”
“I want to accompany you.” Jungkook denies, not knowing how to speak his mind in any other way. His gaze is filled with unexpected sincerity, you don’t really know how and why. “I attend these parties, meet these people nearly everyday, Y/N. But they don’t have what we have. And now that you here, of course I would rather be with you.”
You don’t know whether it is the alcohol in your spine or the bass thumping likely on your heart, but you clearly feel something about the words. You feel important. You feel needed. And the way Jungkook looks at you right now? You feel like it’s somehow filled with new, raw emotions you never found on him before. The way his fingers are clasped on you—it’s like he is holding it for dear life. You can not deny that you are mildly confused by the sudden tension between you and Jungkook.
“Here you are, Y/N. I’ve been searching for you.” 
Seokjin is now standing in front of you and Jungkook, his eyes silently trailing on the fingers intertwined with you and your best friend, but refusing to comment. Realizing how awkward the moment must have been for the three of you, you swiftly jump on your feet, cheeks slightly reddening out of shyness while Seokjin still maintains the charming smile on his lips. “Can I take you somewhere else? This party is too loud. Let’s go somewhere quieter.”
“Mmm.. Okay.” You mutter, trying your best not to glance at Jungkook. You want to avoid adding more fuel to the awkwardness—well, you are too emotionally incapable to face whatever emotion you were having with Jungkook just now. He is just a thoughtful best friend, why are you even dwelling on it like it’s something new in your friendship? And being the coward you truly are, you answer the offer of Seokjin’s hand, following him to the outside without glancing even once at Jungkook. Even if all you can think about is him and what the hell just happened.
It’s been nearly two weeks, but you have yet to receive any message, or call, or anything from Jungkook. It’s not his fault, though—you could have started a conversation yourself, but you always find yourself hesitating while typing words on your screen. Maybe it’s because Jungkook has mostly been the one to start any conversation, and now nearly two weeks has passed since your last encounter and you have no idea how to start. Idiot.
You are still lounging in your bed, mustering yourself to be brave enough to say anything to Jungkook. When suddenly a message arrives, you are startled, swiftly clicking it open. But seeing the sender, you sigh in disappointment. It’s not Jungkook.
From : Seokjin
Hey, you are coming to the practice, right? [12:40]
Do you want to grab a bite after that? I have this coupon I need to use:) [12:41]
Ah, Seokjin. Since that fateful night in the party, you have been frequently hanging out with him. He is a senior in your department—he is even the assistant for some of your classes—so you do meet frequently. It is weird now that you are acquainted with him, he is everywhere, like literally everywhere. Especially because after that night, he asks you to join the taekwondo club based on your interest and previous experience. And who are you to reject? You like Taekwondo, and you like him. Talking about killing two birds with one stone, right?
But now you feel on the edge nearly all the time because your fuckboy best friend is missing in action. You want to tell him everything, but you feel like you have sinned him greatly for ditching him that night. It’s even hard to find out why! All you know that he might just find another girl to fuck with that night, and both of you know that the only thing in first that invite you to the party is because Seokjin is there—even Jungkook propose you to bone him! You seriously hate yourself for feeling this way.
“Jungkook, you are a complete moron!” You hiss, throw the phone to the desk and dip your face to the pillow.
Okay, new plan. It’s better for you to just meet and confront him directly. So tomorrow after class, you are going to meet him after his 8am, and just point and blame him for ghosting your friendship. Well, he is not ghosting, but that’s not the point! It’s a brilliant plan, yet you find yourself strangely terrified for what is about to happen.
Tomorrow morning, you are going to ask Lia to walk to class together, yet you find she is already missing, bed is made and cleaned. It’s weird to see her wake up so early since she is absolutely not a morning person, but you shrug it anyway, expecting to see her in class. Still, even after the professor arrives, you find her regular place beside you is empty. You send her a message, but it is met with no reply. Skipping class is not really rare in her case, so you just silently attend, mind filled with the plan you will execute later on.
After class, as previously planned, you directly head to Jungkook’s faculty. You can remember it vividly, Jungkook’s class for the morning is always running late due to his old as hell professor, who talks extremely slowly and loves to discuss anything but the topic he is supposed to teach, hence your plan. You are going to wait in front of his class, supposedly asking to grab brunch together before accusing him for ignoring you altogether.
But then, what you find while walking on the bridge connecting the two faculties catch you by surprise. It is Lia, talking to a man who's back you easily identify as Jungkook—you can detect those small waist everywhere, hidden cladly in a slim fit dress shirt. Both of them are engaged in serious talk, with Jungkook’s face a little bit tense and Lia’s face looking like she completely had enough.
Lia? And Jungkook? Your eyes must be deceiving you right now.
With all will, you march onto them, and even the fact that they are talking, just the two of them without you is weird enough, they don’t even realize your presence until you are tapping on Jungkook’s shoulder with a suspecting gaze. The moment he finds you, he unconsciously jumps a few steps back with a loud gasp, exactly like whenever he has been caught doing something bad. “Y/N! You’re here!”
“Yes. I was just about to catch you after your class, Jungkook, maybe we can grab a bite together.” The moment you let out those words, you heard Lia snickers and Jungkook immediately throws her a look. 
“Finally. You both should eat together! and I don’t know—maybe be truthful at each other? or anything, I don’t care. I’m out of here.” She walks out, not minding your voice calling out to her. You seriously have zero idea what she means, but Jungkook quickly places his hands on both your shoulders—desperate for your focus, his cheeks now colored in bright shade of red.
“Don’t mind her. Let’s go eat.”
You stop your track against Jungkook’s force of pulling you away, scrutinizing his face closer with a worried gaze. “Jungkook, you are acting weird. And you are sooo red. Are you sure you are okay?”
Jungkook hastily nods, pulling you to the place you both usually grab coffee at, not really far from his faculty. On the way, both of you still fall in silence, and one thing your eyes could focus on is his fingers, tightly intertwined on yours—the same gesture he has been doing for around ten years now. 
Is it weird that now you definitely do not feel nothing from just holding his hands?
Both of you are seated on your usual spot—near the window inside the coffee shop, right after ordering. “So. Are you going to tell me where you have been these past two weeks?” You questions, sipping on your usual choice of espresso. Jungkook grimaces, his fingers clasping against each other nervously. Not that he expects you to beat around the bush.
“I am just kinda busy. With practice and studying.” He silently answers, eyes still not looking anywhere else but you. And what kind of best friend are you not to notice that?
You nod cryptically, decide against pushing it.  Even though skeptic, what he said does seems plausible. “So, what’s up?’
“Just the regular.”
Your left eyebrows raise. “No news on your fuckboy conquest of one night stands?”
Jungkook eyebrows scrunched. “You’re disgusting.”
You are baffled at that. “What?! I am disgusting? Jungkook, you have been explicitly telling me stories about these girls you sleep with for already two years now. What are you, playing coy?“
Jungkook sighs tiredly. Instead of answering, he reaches for your glass of espresso, sipping it before wincing due to the bitterness—like a fucking moron doing his usual thing. It seems already too familiar, so you just shrug it and focus on the initial topic instead. “I just… I haven’t been sleeping with anyone these past two weeks, okay?”
You send him a cryptic look, and Jungkook complains in frustration. “I am not lying! I am not an animal, okay? I am tired sometimes, and I am allowed to not do that anymore.”
“Jungkook, there is no way you are not going to parties and not sleeping with these girls. You have been doing these for two years. What gives?” You push, as you know there must be something he is hiding from you. Jungkook sighs, looking at you with a gaze filled with strange emotions.
“I—I haven’t been to parties too. Look, I am just not feeling it, okay? I just.. I just needed a break.”
Looking at Jungkook, it is difficult to even imagine him not doing all his usual popular jock activities. And now he told you he hasn’t been to parties for two weeks? It’s really unlike him. He hasn’t missed a single party for these past two years since high school to the point you have a hard time remembering what he used to do on Friday nights. Something must have happened, that’s for certain.
“Do you want to tell me why?” You ask him carefully, your fingers reaching out to his. He looks up at you, something in his face tells you that something indeed has happened. And suddenly, your mind flashes to the event that just occurred. Could it be?
“Does it have anything to do with Lia? This morning, when you met her?”
Jungkook’s eyes bulge, his hands are harshly pulled to his lap, away from you. You can detect his chest pumped, heaving too much air in, eyes nervously scanning away. Too many reactions for a mere ‘nothing happened’. “I—I don’t know? What do you mean?”
“It’s weird! You were literally avoiding her before, Jungkook. But then I saw you meeting her alone. What happened? Tell me.” You persuade, determine to get to the end of it. But the answer you are given is only a nervous shake of head, with shade of red slowly creeping in his face. Another trait that you know from Jungkook, is his inability to hide his feelings—at least in front of you.
Due to his prolonged silence for his orders arrival, you silently guess what might have happened with him. A flash of unpleasant image enters your head and you wince internally. God, please don’t let it be true. You even have a hard time to spell those words. 
“Jungkook, please tell me you didn’t sleep with her.”
Jungkook’s face is flushed in a bright shade of red, as he shakes his head vigorously. “You are crazy. I did not sleep with your best friend.”
A sense of relief washes you. “So tell me what it is! What is it that you can’t possibly tell me? It must be it, or do you expect me to believe you somehow have feelings for her?!” You mindlessly intrude, but now seeing Jungkook’s face is vermillion red and how silent he is for a few seconds after the accusation, you can’t even believe there is a chance it might be true.
You hesitantly approach, voice caught up midways. “You… do you have feelings for Lia?”
Jungkook stares back at you, and you can see a hint of sadness on his eyes. Internally, he is terribly conflicted. He doesn’t know what he can say to you. He already has the answer to your query on the tip of his tongue, clearer than anything else but he cannot do that. It would be unfair to everyone, especially you. 
In life, Jungkook believes he is a risk taker—he is taught that way, ever since he was a little kid. Risk is what makes life even better and interesting. But how can he gamble with what you both have right now? He could never take that risk for what you have right now with him. It’s too much in stake—a game not worthy to play, and he knows his chances like the back of his hand. So he forces a smile, mustering all his might to say something that he is well aware does not reflect what he is truly feeling.
“I—I think so..”
Listening to his answer, you nod slowly, not knowing exactly how you feel. You are happy for him—for Jungkook to finally find someone he likes, someone who can get him off the meaningless sex routine he has been accustomed to for awhile now. And truth to be told? Lia is one of the best girls you ever acquaintanced with. If one thing you can ever count on, is that both of your best friends are great people that somehow grealy deserve each other. Lia is pretty, smart, fun to talk and party with, and allegedly good at sex—you don’t really now, it’s just what she claims to be—and Jungkook is the kindest soul out there—even if he is a certified douchebag once in a while—but they really fit each other well.
But is it disappointment in the pit of your stomach?
Noticing how silent you have become, Jungkook quickly takes the opportunity and changes the topic he instantly regrets. “So, how are things with Seokjin? I hear you both are hitting it well.”
Your throat feels constricted, so you clear it, hoping your stupefiedness is unrecognizable. “Yup. He is a good guy. I am now in the Taekwondo club as well, so… yeah I’ve been seeing him a lot too.”
“I am glad you finally got into the club! I remember how much of a pain you are, always go on and on talking about Taekwondo.” He rigidly smiles, eyes still trained on the dish served in front of him, cutting it in pieces. God, he is seriously digging his own grave with this fake supportive best friend shit.
“Yeah, whose fault is it that I got off Taekwondo in the first place, huh?”
Jungkook sighs, resting his utensils on the plate. He is aware of it very well, he knows what a fucking coward he has been since little, which may had forced you giving up on taekwondo—something you really loved. You can’t even imagine how guilty he is about everything. You have been the one thing keeping him sane, yet he always thinks himself on the recipient side of the friendship. And the midst of his current vulnerable state, he feels greatly undeserving of you. Who is he kidding? You might even regret saving him from humiliation on that fateful day, ten years ago.
Sensing that your joke may have not been taken well by Jungkook, you reach out to him, placing your palm on his, trying to soothe the indignation palpable on his face. “Jungkook, I am sorry.. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know.. I know. It’s okay.” Jungkook answers, lips pursed into a tight line. You can see that he is indeed piqued, and truthfully, it is your fault. He always blames himself for the time he felt you sacrificed so much for him—like Taekwondo, for example. You convince him that it is not his fault since you can always go back to Taekwondo again—you just choose not to, but he always blames himself, thinking of the what ifs. You should not have brought it up and joked about it.
The silence then ensues, the tension between you and him thickens like you can slice it and choke it down your throat. You were about to apologize again, right when your phone rings and displays Seokjin’s name on the screen .Jungkook definitely saw the name too himself. You are hesitating whether to answer or not, before Jungkook answers it for you rigidly, jaw clenched tight. 
“Answer it.” 
When you are in the middle of conversation with Seokjin—and unimportant one, Jin is just asking what are you doing because he is bored in the middle of intensive taekwondo training, so you just casually tell him about grabbing a brunch with Jungkook—your best friend quickly flips few bills from his wallet, raising up from his seat. You swiftly hold him back, cutting off the ongoing call without even saying goodbyes. “Jungkook, where are you going?”
“I guess you must be somewhere with Seokjin, right? Let’s go, don’t want to keep the handsome boy waiting.”
The way Jungkook pronounces every word is heavy with sarcasm, and it wounds you. Is he seriously telling you that you are going to ditch him for Seokjin? Dry tears are lounging on the corner of your eyes till your visions are blurry, and it is hard to even breathe. How dare he play that game to you? Does he really think he has any right to treat you like that?
Jungkook must have noticed your contorted face and inevitable tears, and he is quick to apologize. “I am sorry, I didn't mean it like—”
“Save it.” You curtly cut him, slapping a few bills on the table. “It’s my turn to pay now. And you are correct. Thank you for that, I will find that handsome boy right now.”
If Jungkook calls you again, you are unable to hear it. Too pissed off to even breathe, your head feels like it’s about to explode along with tears that are quick to rain on your parade.
After you storm off the brunch with Jungkook, your afternoon class is fortunately cancelled. Instead of going with your words and meeting Seokjin, you decide you are too emotionally exhausted and head back home. So here you are, chilling in your apartment alone, watching netflix and eating popcorn after completing a long nap of five hours straight. Your phone is far ducked inside your room, as you notice Jungkook has blown off your phone for quite a while now, and you are this close to answer it so you throw it away. That bastard definitely deserves a lesson for pulling an unfunny passive aggressive prank like that.
While you are in the middle of refilling your bowl for the second batch of popcorn, your apartment door is swung opened. It is Lia, with a huge triumphant smile on her face. “Look what I brought us!”
You don’t even know the reason why, the moment you are looking at Lia’s face, you immediately remember Jungkook’s claim that he has feelings for this girl. For your best friend. For a girl who looks exactly like his ex. Damn, did you really sound that bitter?
“What is it?” You fake enthusiasm, even if what you really want to do is sigh and roll your eyes. 
“Chicken and beer! Not just chicken, this is the exact brand and flavor you like! I think since we rarely hang out nowadays, tonight we can watch bad movies together and eat and drink unhealthy food and drinks we probably will regret in the morning!” She cheerfully shouts, resting the packages of food on the table, running to her room to change into comfy clothes.
You bite your lips, regretting how undeserved she is for your cynical thoughts. You are greatly touched by her mindful gesture. Albeit harsh and sometimes cold, Lia is really affectionate at times, kind and selfless to her friends, especially you. You can’t even count how much she helped you, saving you from an embarrassment or humiliation due your sloppy and forgetful trait. The mind is indeed a dangerous place, and you should limit any possible toxicity that might be planted and grow in it.
So you and Lia jump to watch some chick flick which she always denies to like, but somehow always in tears after. One thing that you might not realize is that you often find yourself staring at her, thinking about how easy it is to like her. She is really the dream girl. Pretty, strong, funny and independent. She’s basically perfect. You even doubt Jungkook deserves her, seriously.
“Honey, another look and I think I might just go gay for you.” Lia sighs, resting the chicken drumstick on the plate. You avert your eyes on the TV, shy of being caught staring. “What is it? Are you falling for me? I swear—”
“No, I just.. Nothing.”
You are silent, busy gulping the beer to hide how flustered you are right now. Damn, are you really that obvious? “There must be something. Y/N, I will not push, but you know you can tell me everything. Nothing will surprise me, seriously.”
You nod, throwing your attention back to the movie. But not even five minutes, the curiosity gets the best of you, so you decide to mum a question to her. 
“Lia, what do you think about Jungkook?”
You kind of wish she does not hear you, but it is instantly cancelled since she answers. Yup, she can hear your silly question, loud and clear.
“Jungkook? He is hot, good looking and kind. A little dumb and blabber a little bit too much, but I think it’s manageable.” She nonchalantly answers, suddenly her prodding eyes are thrown at you. “Where does this suspicious question come from?”
“Nothing! I just want to know what you think of him.” You bitterly smile. Yes, definitely that and only that.
Another ten minutes pass and you open another question, still full of hesitation whether it’s best to ask or just keep it to yourself, yet it’s literally killing you so you ask anyway. “Hypothetically speaking. If… I don’t know, Jungkook confesses to you he likes you. Would you accept it?”
Lia looks at you strangely — like you have grown another head, when her face suddenly brightens, an imaginary light bulb practically pictured on her head. A sleazy smile is worn on her lips, her eyebrows wiggling playfully. “Ah! So that is about all this. Finally!”
“Of course! Jungkook is a nice guy, he is kind, respectful, albeit a little annoying and dumb, he is hot, which kinda makes it even. He listens well, and strangely gives good advice.” Lia brightly smiles, literally like the woman who endorses cooking items in the supermarket to middle aged mothers. “I think anyone having a monogamous relationship with that manchild is very, very lucky!”
You do notice how exaggerated and odd her sentence is, but when you are about to reply, few soft knocks are heard on your door. So keeping the words back, you wake up and mindlessly open it.
Well, It turns out to be Seokjin, and he could arguably be the last person you think would be standing in front of your doorstep now.
“Seokjin? What are you doing here, at this time of the night?”
Seokjin answers with a serene smile, his eyes sparkling amidst the dim hallway. “I am sorry to be at your doorstep this late. I just… I just want to talk to you. Is that weird?”
Your heart literally skips a beat at that. Seriously? Seokjin comes to your apartment at 10pm just to talk to you? Is this even real? “You can’t just call me? Not that I’m not glad to see you, but I don’t want to tire you. You just finished your crazy tiring training!”
“I’ve been trying to contact you, but I went into voicemail. So I guess, more reason to meet you, right?” Seokjin shyly smiles, scratching his nape. God, have you ever mentioned that he is really cute? “I hope I’m not a bother.”
“No! Of course not. But my roommate is here. Do you want to go somewhere else? I think one restaurant near here is still open.” You quickly offer and Seokjin agrees with a nod. You are hurriedly about to grab your purse, when Lia walks out to the doorstep, meeting Seokjin.
“Hi! You must be the roommate. I’m Seokjin.” Seokjin offers a hand along with a charming smile. Lia receives it with confusion written on her face. 
“Are you both going somewhere?” She asks, puzzled. You slightly run to the door, hoping there is nothing to be discussed amongst the three of you anymore.
“Yes! We are. I’ll be back soon, see you!” You quickly smile and close the door right on her face. Damn, you don’t know what has gotten into you, but you really can’t seem to shake that cautious feeling. It really needs time before you even consider letting Seokjin hang out with your nosy friends. Like Lia, or even Jungkook.
Especially Jungkook.
Jungkook is sitting with Taehyung, his project mate on the corner of a restaurant near your apartment. He has been trying to contact you since afternoon but you still haven’t replied to his call nor messages, it makes him feel guilty beyond words. He shouldn’t have snapped like that at you, you literally did nothing and he blew everything way out of proportion—especially when that dickhead Seokjin called you. And now he is nearly losing his mind, because he doesn’t want to spend another minute in your probable wrath. How can everything be so messed up?
“Dude, stop calling her. She’ll call you soon. Why is this such a big deal?” Taehyung groans when Jungkook relentlessly dial your number once more. He doesn’t even know why, but another call you ignore, he might combust and run to your apartment, begging for reconciliation. He is seriously just that desperate.
The call fails, yet Jungkook is still tapping on the call again button when Taehyung meddles in his pathetic best friend obsession. “Hey, stop! Why are you doing this, dude? You like this girl or what?” 
At Taehyung’s accusation, Jungkook was silent. “I don’t know. But I can’t stop, Tae. Or I’ll go crazy.”
Taehyung sighs, giving up and instead going back to his work. As long as the tasks are divided, he would not be bothered by his friend’s crazy fixation towards a so-called-friend. Seriously, why do people even want to monogamously date? It’s such a hassle, and unimportant. Girlfriends are liabilities, and Jungkook of all people should know it!
After being rejected for another three calls, Jungkook finally gives up, slamming the phone on the desk. “I give up. She’ll never answer. Fuck it, I need to work.”
Taehyung glances at that guy trying to focus on the task in front of him. Everyone can see how out of place he is—if there’s a guarantee Jungkook will not land a punch to his precious face, he really wants to tease him right now it is hilarious. Damn, his friend is whipped.
Amongst the silence, Jungkook’s phone suddenly rings. Throwing the thousand page book in his grasps right away, he answers it like a madman—probably without even checking the caller. It must not be the girl of his dreams, since his hopeful puppy face instantly sombers.
“Of course not! How can I, we just got into a fight.”
After listening to the faint caller’s word, his knuckles intimidatingly whiten due, jaw tightening. “Seriously? They are leaving now?”
A few banter and the call ends, but Taehyung can see how bothered the guy is after the call. He is no longer bothered to even pretend he is working, instead his eyes hollow, zooming out to nothingness. But another five minutes, a slight tingling from the entrance bell is heard and Jungkook feels like his heart is about to fall out he instinctively ducks his head. Taehyung tries to steal a look to the source of attention, and it’s you, the girl he has seen a lot previously with Jungkook and Seokjin… Together while holding hands.
Oh, oh. This is bad.
Jungkook really should just storm out. He is never the masochist type, but somehow curiosity gets the best of him so he stays, his work is completely ignored. He focuses on glaring to the other side of the restaurant where you and Seokjin sit near the window, nonchalant to his presence while lively and affectionately talking to each other. And for fuck sake, can fucking Seokjin get his hands off you? It takes everything in his power to ignore the need to slap those dirty paws away.
“Jungkook, we should go..” Taehyung silently pleads, noticing how tense his friend has become since you and Seokjin arrived. But Jungkook is unable to hear or sense anything, was too focused on probing both of you while trying not to be caught.
It is a rather short meal, as you and Seokjin only ordered a dessert to share and Jungkook is irritated. You finished a bowl of ice cream in one sitting and you can’t seriously get a dessert for your own? Disgusting—After approximately thirty minutes, you and Seokjin head out, hand by hand with a sickeningly shy smile on both of your faces.
Jungkook thinks that is the end of it, thank God he can finally breathe. But how wrong he was to even think he will remain unscathed, because as both of you stand in front of the restaurant, Seokjin bravely pulls you closer by the nape and crashes his lips on yours. It feels like a punch to Jungkook’s gut, seeing how blissful both of you are engaged in a sweet kiss, your hands on his cheek and his hands clasped on your waist. There’s the anger, the jealousy raging inside Jungkook’s chest at the moment that it’s even difficult to breathe. 
As now both of you and Seokjin have left the scene, Taehyung forces himself from the tense situation to steal a glance at Jungkook. Just seeing him—staring at the ceiling with no expression whatsoever—radiates the devastation and frustration he is currently experiencing. God, Taehyung hopes he will never have to experience that kind of emotion in his life.
During ten years of friendship with Jungkook, you never knew what it feels to have him avoid you. But now that you are exactly being treated like a plague by him, you wish you were warned beforehand because it fucking hurts. And you have no idea how or why, and you have no one to console your loss — not even Seokjin, or Lia. Well it mostly because you don’t want them to realize how fucking dependent you are to Jungkook, it’s pathetic.
“Kitten, you are spazzing out. Are you sure you are okay?”
Seokjin’s words are nearly lost on you, and the moment his hand is on yours, you unconsciously flinch. He is now examining you, with a gaze full of worry. 
“If you are feeling not okay, we can just go home.” Seokjin kindly offers, but you shake your head fervently, not wanting to wallow again in your sadness. You can’t take this away from Seokjin, when it’s his dearest fellow frat brothers—especially the seniors who are having the party. Seokjin as the angel he is will not let you be alone in your apartment.
Since the day you meet Jungkook for brunch, a week has passed and it seems like you and him are in the middle of a cold war. It’s not like you are not speaking to each other, but every word coming from him speaks distance and you are tired and just stop trying—yet it doesn’t lessen the pain. And now you are going with Seokjin for his frat party, and you know Jungkook will be there—it might be the reason you are simultaneously eager and despise going to the party. You are terribly anxious about facing him, but you can’t back down when you know you did nothing wrong.
In front of the frat house, Seokjin holds your hand and brushes his lips to your temple as an encouragement. “Let’s go in, shall we?”
You throw your gaze at Seokjin’s side profile. Seriously, what did you do to deserve him? He is seriously the kindest soul out there, always looking for your best interest. He never hesitates to go big for you, yet you can help but to feel guilty. He is too kind. Too perfect. And you can’t shake this feeling of undeserving and owning him everything to him.
The moment your feet step into the party, your eyes instantly fall to someone so familiar yet so strange—Jungkook. He is leaning on a sofa, talking animatedly with two girls on either side, leeching to him like they are willing to take turns to suck him dry. You roll your eyes in disgust. What were you expecting? That Jungkook might go celibate and seriously get a grip on his life? You must be drunk. That bastard can’t even face the fact that he likes someone and actually does something about it.
Yes. He likes Lia. But being a total fuckboy is not what someone should do when he seriously likes someone, right? You just want the best for him, not wanting Jungkook to waste another time when he can have someone he truly likes instead of engaging in another one night stand.
While Seokjin is chatting with his group of friends, you excuse yourself to grab a drink. He, as the gentleman he is, offers to accompany you, but you refuse—mentioning it will only take a short while. And after finally settling in the kitchen where you can finally have a space for your own, you heave few deep breaths. You do not know exactly why, but being surrounded among strangers always sends you to a nervous bundle. 
That’s exactly the reason why you always avoid going to parties. You wanted to tell Seokjin about the anxiety you feel, but you feel like it’s too much of a burden to throw on him so you just swallow everything and hope for the best—but now you regret everything. At least previously, you have Lia and you are assured she is going to take care of you. Not that you don’t think Seokjin will not, but the trust issue you have for nearly everyone is not going to go away when you literally only know him for one freaking month.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Suddenly, a familiar voice is heard and you look behind, seeing Jungkook with a worried gaze, his palm soothing your back. “You don’t really look good. Does the party bother you?”
You bask in his appearance, and sense the anxiety building up inside your head crashes into a loud sob. Seeing such a familiar face, worried about your well-being somehow instantly relieves you, and the emotion is excessive and you inevitably feel the urge to cry. 
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry.” Jungkook whispers, pulling you inside his arms and enveloping you with the ever-so-familiar warmth. His fingers forming circles in your back, just the way he used to calm you on every rainy day, while you clutch into his jacket for dear life. 
“Why do you even come here, you idiot? You should have let me know.”
His ignorant statement somehow flares the anger inside you, and you irritatedly push him away with both your palms. Jungkook is a jerk, and you do not deserve any of this. “How can I let you know, Jungkook? When it’s crystal clear you are avoiding me. I haven’t heard anything other than your one two word messages. I can’t even call you!” 
The guilt is definitely painted on his face, confirming a guess that has been going around your head. He truly was avoiding you. “I—I don’t mean it like that…”
“What wrong did I do, Jungkook? How can you do this to me?” You whimper sadly. All the frustration inside you is coming out. “I know I was wrong, but this is not how we resolve things, Jungkook. You know it. And you can’t even tell me what’s wrong directly to my face, or even try to reconcile our friendship, instead you go back to partying, eye fucking two girls at the same time when I’m standing right here. Do you even know how it makes me feel?”
“It’s not that!” Jungkook defends himself, feeling the obnoxious guilt seeping inside his heart. He feels at fault now seeing how heartbroken you look, and the fact that he is the one causing them. It’s like he is finally awoken, that he has been selfishly trying to redeem himself from a one-sided love for his childhood best friend without thinking about how you feel. But in his defense, he thought you would be okay! 
“I...I just thought now that you have Seokjin, you won’t be needing me no more. He seems to be such a better companion than I am. And I know you like him so much, Y/N, I feel like...”
“Hey. Are you okay?” 
All of a sudden, Seokjin appears in the kitchen, staring at both you and Jungkook standing in front of each other with somber looks on each of your faces. He definitely was about to say something, but like he sobers up and puts up a thin smile and reaches out to you. “You take a long time to get a drink, so I thought I should check up on you.”
You quickly grab the nearest bottle of beer, giving a short, civilized smile to Jungkook to handle the pain throbbing inside his chest. You desperately need space away from him, swearing that you would do anything to avoid breakdown in the middle of a frat party filled with tons of strangers. “Excuse me.”
“Hey, Seokjin! Get your girl, we are going to play!”
That trademark voice was definitely Hoseok’s, gesturing you to join the circle of group with countless shots in the center—which is literally a recipe for a disastrous night. Seokjin is about to wave him off, intending to focus on your well being instead, but that is seriously the last thing you want to do right now. All you need is alcohol—lots of them and avoid whatever internal conflict you are having since that’s what you do best. Hence, you pull the older guy closer to the group cheering them on, forcing him to sit down beside you. 
“Hey, we don’t have to do this if you are not comfortable.” Seokjin consoles, his hands smoothing on your thigh. 
“But I want to!” You fake a cheer, pretending to sound enthusiastic. “I haven’t done this in a long time. I wanna do this again.”
Jimin—one of the other frat brothers, is counting the people and after clicks his tongue in dissatisfaction. “We need one more. Hey, Jungkook, come here!”
You quickly snap your head towards your so-called best friend, who just came out from the kitchen from your previous unpleasant encounter. Just a glance and you can see how messed up he looks right now. Jungkook seriously was about to flip Jimin off, instead wallowing himself in sadness and regret. But seeing you sitting in the circle, he gets no other choice but to accept the offer. All that he can think about is the annoying frat buddies of his who might force you to do the things you despise, along with your occasional social anxiety that might ruin everything for you. He will never forget himself if they happen without him there, when he had the opportunity to. He’ll do it, regardless of your current distaste for him.
“Okay! So we are going to play Never Have I Ever!” Jimin shouts, and your stomach dips in nerves. God, are you seriously going to do it? But then you feel a certain concerned stare is directed towards you, and your pride forces you to act nonchalant. You are not going to let Jungkook think he needs to babysit you again. The previous thing in the kitchen is humiliating enough, you don’t need another second. 
“It’s the usual. if you have done it before, drink a shot! Don’t worry, we have abundant alcohol supply and our dearest freshmen right here, kindly volunteer to refill the glasses.” You emphatically look amongst the fellow freshmen, standing outside the circle with bottles of alcohol in their hands. God, this reminds you why frat people are seriously the worst.
“I’ll start! Okay. Never have I ever sexted someone during class.”
A series of groans are heard in the circle, few people—some that you know are Taehyung, Hoseok, and even the smartest of the frat boys, Namjoon bottoms up their respective drinks. Seriously? They pay tuition to sext during class. What a disgrace.
And of course Jungkook’s glass is empty too. What did you expect?
Next is Hoseok. “Never have I ever faked an orgasm before!”
Well, that one is on you, but you are just glad to be able to finally drink. And damn is it good to finally have alcohol buzzing inside your system—it’s been way too long. After drinking his own, Seokjin offers to exchange your empty glass into a full one. You send a thankful smile his way.
“Never have I ever sent a nude to someone.”
Well, that's correct on your previous relationship with a dickhead in your high school. Wow, you feel the slight kick, but since your tolerance is quite high, your tongue still craves for more.
“Never have I had a threesome before.”
Your eyes curiously find Jungkook, as he bottoms up his third glass of the game, with only a few of the people there drink—Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and one of the unknown girls. Not that you did not expect it, but you find yourself mildly uncomfortable and somehow disappointed with the facts. He is Jungkook. You should have known it.
“Never have I ever roleplay mommy / daddy kink during sex.”
You detect Seokjin shyly drinking his glass, and you fake a gasp. The alcohol on your spine and the great atmosphere are a success in bringing up your mood. “Wow, I knew it! It’s all so clear, you must have daddy kink!” You let out a belly laugh as he softly pinches your waist, still abashed to the new found fact. What you miss is Jungkook shooting daggers both your ways and Taehyung on his side giving him a few comforting taps on the back.
“Never have I ever liked someone else when I was in a relationship!”
The question somehow kills every fun you have, as you silently recall your previous relationships. There was definitely something on your mind, but you quickly pushed them back. No. It did not make sense and still does, and it was something you chose to bury a long time ago. Pretending it never exists is way easier.
But when you straighten your back to regain your sense, your eyes instantly find Jungkook sipping on his alcohol whilst glaring at you, before throwing his back and bottoming it up. Not only that, even after he slams the glass back on the table he is still giving you the same intent stare. What does he want from you? If he is trying to mess with your mind it is not working—so you faked nonchalance, waiting for the next question, yet your mind is busy thinking about who might be on the receiving end of Jungkook’s feelings while he was in a relationship with his bitch of an ex.
The game goes on for another round, and boy was it a mess. As time goes by, the questions are getting out of hand, until a point you seriously think you need to see your therapist due to how traumatic the questions are. During the game you only drink five glasses, which is still not enough for you—and Seokjin, who apparently has a great alcohol resistance as well. The game ended when Hoseok and Taehyung were hugging each other with two bottles of vodka between them, noisily faking smooches sound to each other.
When Seokjin offers to walk away from the rainsacked table, one of the friends whom you recognize as Yoongi holds him back with a tactful smile. “Hey, Seokjin! I’m bored, Let’s play!”
“Yoongi, I think that’s enough play. I think me and Y/N are just going to talk.” Seokjin calmly refuses, when Jungkook comes to Yoongi's side, resting his arm on the smaller man with his face bright red, looking totally buzzed.
“Ugh, that’s so boring! Why don’t we just play a game!”
You snort when you can smell his breath reeking with booze. No wonders though, he only missed two shots during that godforsaken game. “Jungkook—”
“No! I want to play!” He childishly pouts again. Here goes Jungkook acting like a nine year old whenever he is drunk. You roll your eyes agitatedly. Can he grow up already? “I want to beat you and this boyfriend of yours. Let’s play beer pong!”
“That’s a great idea, Jungkook! I think for the prize the winner can ask the loser for anything.” Yoongi shows his gummy smiles forming a smirk. Seokjin was about to discard the offer when his friend cleverly ignited another fire. “What, you don’t think you can win? Or do you just don’t get the nerves to? Too scared to be beaten down in front of your girlfriend?”
Somehow the conversation is loud enough that it attracts people, and now everyone is wooing the provocative statement from Yoongi. He has been silent throughout the previous game, and you don’t even know why he is so keen about playing beer pong with you and Seokjin. Can’t he just ask someone else instead? But you are assured, since one thing you learned from athletes like Seokjin, he is not easily provoked by such cheap statements. 
“You are on.” He grimaces as you gape, not expecting the sudden plottwist. How can he just approve? Damn him, you seriously do not want anything to do with these frat boys! “But I swear to god if you lose, I am going to force you to kiss this manchild for fucking five minutes in front of everybody.”
“Well that’s not really a punishment if I will enjoy it, but go on.” Jungkook drunkenly shouts, Yoongi palpably shudders beside him. The crowd laughter goes wild, as other freshmen—you seriously really feel bad for them now—sets up the red solo cups on the table. Your head spins in confusion, as you literally have not once played beer pong before. It’s a lost cause, and you are going to be punished by those evil spawns!
“Seokjin, I seriously can’t play for shit!” You hisses in worry while Seokjin smiles as an assurance.
“No worry, Y/N. I am a reigning champion of beer pong is this godforsaken frat. We will surely win.” He holds you by the shoulder. You send a judging gaze to Jungkook as he pretends to look nonchalant, confidently rubbing his palm together. Damn, you really want to smack him in that idiotic drunk ass face of his. What a jerk! You just hope Jin is truly as good as he claims, because if not, you are completely, utterly fucked. And not even a good one.
The first thing you did wrong was to believe Seokjin is just as good as his words, because Yoongi—who you just knew is the captain of the basketball team—completely triumphs him through every shot. And you already in peace with the fact that your aiming skill is the worst thing that could happen to you, so there goes scoring zero. That bastard Jungkook, somehow amidst the drunkenness is able to score a lot as well—probably due to the fact that he also plays football. Now that you think about it, the game itself does not make sense. And not only that you lose, the glasses you shove down your throat are quite a lot, to the point you can finally feel the buzz of alcohol in your spine. Just fucking perfect!
“Yes! We win!” Jungkook gleefully shouts, seeing the last red cup in front of your table has the shiny yellow ball in it. Seokjin sighs in defeat, quickly taking the last glass and drinking it, completely forfeited. You groan, rubbing your aching temple. This is gonna be rough.
“Wow! Do we finally have the winner here?!” Yoongi shouts with mirth, as the crowd woo. “Well, I don’t want to hold you back, let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I am just giving you a taste of your medicine. You can now make out with the bride.” Everyone snickers, and you are too shy to even look at Seokjin. “But we don’t want porn here, so just three minutes?”
“Are you okay with this? I can make him stop.” Seokjin asks calmly, as Yoongi snickers about his friend’s cringey thoughtfulness. Well now that everyone’s looking at you, you ain’t really got any choice, right? So you hesitantly nod as a permission, before Seokjin encloses his lips on you, and all you can sense is the deafening shouts of the crowd.
And Jungkook’s deflated back while exiting the room.
Two hours after the last disastrous beer pong and a three-minutes exhibitionist makeout session with Seokjin, you are shocked to still find yourself sitting at the frat party. Seokjin has asked you multiple times if you want to head home, but you refuse, feeding him lies about somehow still enjoying the party. Truthfully, you don’t even know what he is holding you back. You stopped drinking after the game, instead drinking lots of water to avoid a bad hangover in the morning. The party is dull, especially when you are no longer drinking and alone—Seokjin is asked by a few fellow final year friends to join them for a drink outside, so you assure him you’ll be okay staying back. All you do now is keep an eye on your so-called best friend, shoving alcohol down his throat like there’s no tomorrow. There were few girls around him, but the way Jungkook was not having it and instead focusing on the drinks—his nonchalance probably bore them so they fled, locking on other frat boys as targets. It is only Taehyung now with him, who looks just as drunk as he is. Literal dumbasses.
Amongst the loud bass thumping inside the room, your phone vibrates. You quickly excuse yourself from a couple who is now making out beside you—god, you seriously thought the girl was interested in talking to you before, but now she just ignores you while shoving her tongue down the boy’s throat!—and walks out to pick up the call. Against your expectation, it is Jungkook’s brother, Junghyun on the other side of the call..
“Y/N! Y/N, I am so glad you pick up!” Junghyun shouts loudly, sounds greatly relieved after listening to your greetings. You chuckle, realize it has been quite a long time since you heard from him. You desperately need to visit him sometimes, instead of constantly hanging out with his idiot younger brother.
“Hey, do you know where Jungkook is? We actually have to fly to Busan tomorrow morning, so we expect him to be home now. He even brought the car with him!” Junghyun shouts filled with stress, then you scrunch your eyebrow in confusion. He will fly tomorrow morning, so why did he even bother to come to the party? You scoff in disbelief.
“Yes, oppa. I am in the same party with him, but he is not looking real good.” You answer, looking inside the frat house. Well, not that his brother is unaware of Jungkook’s current trait of drinking and partying—not that he supports it—but you just think that he would be more responsible in his choices, and the your disappointment at him is vivid as a day. Making his family worried, all because he just wants to party which he nearly does every week? It’s shallow even for him. “But I’ll get him home now, no worries.”
Junghyung release a relieved sigh. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you!”
After a shot goodbye, you close the call and furiously march inside the frat house, right to Jungkook’s side. He is still drinking, but now looking severely drunk while unreasonably laughing with Taehyung, and now Jimin as an addition. Three drunk guys are never a good combination. “Jungkook, you fucking idiot, let’s go home!” 
With that Taehyung whistle loudly, tapping Jungkook on the back fervently, pepping him. “It’s Y/N! God, finally she is asking you to get something-something!” You scrunch your eyebrows at the drunk ass guy with a reddened face. You are earnestly curious for what booze he is having so you can avoid drinking it forever.
“You want to go home? Let’s go home, babygirl.” Jungkook lowly whispers whilst standing up, but before you can even react to such provocative words, he limps—probably dizzy from consuming too much alcohol. You circle his arms on your shoulder, helping him cause you are certain he is unable to walk on his own now.
Limping to the outside of the house at the best speed you can do, you find his car is parked a few meters from where you both stand. You grumble, swearing that you would keep a tab in every kindness you give to this unthankful moron. 
“Hmm, you smell nice.” Jungkook whispers, the tip of his nose settles on the crook of your neck, brushing it to your skin repetitiously as he hums in delight. All of a sudden you feel like it is hard to breath, your nape hair standing from such impulse. Damn, how can he take so much reaction out of you? It’s totally unfair! “I love your smell, babygirl. I wish I could smell you everyday.”
“Jungkook, I smell like booze, smoke and sweat. And what the fuck is wrong with you!” You hiss, trying to calm your irregular heartbeat. And you can always trust Jungkook to somehow flirt with you in the middle of his drunken antics. “I need to get you home, Jungkook. Don’t make me throw you on the street, okay?”
Listening to your cold answer, Jungkook pouts, his arms fold on his chest. The luring persona he had is now replaced to the childish one, and you can’t believe you have to deal with it now. “You are being a meanie to Jungkook! You have to apologize!”
Boy did he mean it, because he is now refusing to enter the car until you apologize. You sigh in distress — but some part of you do enjoy the cute banter with your drunk best friend. You are definitely going to tease him about this after he is sober.  “Okay! I apologize, Jungkook. I won’t throw you away, and I will get you home safely. Satisfied?” He nods with a foolish smile.
Then you realize that you don’t know where he places his car keys at, so you ignore the warning in your head and search his pockets, trying to disregard that he is wearing tight-ass pants that force you to feel him up somehow. God, you can’t even shake the embarrassment creeping to your cheek. Where the hell is that key?!
“Y/N, do you seriously want to do it here? I want out first time to be in bed, please.” Jungkook politely says, like he did not just imply about sleeping with you — instead asking for a candy. You whimper, greatly embarrassed even if you know it’s only a drunken act. He does not mean it in any way possible, so the flutters inside your heart should stop! You curse yourself, despising how his words are now affecting your wellbeing.
After finding the key in his left back pocket, you open the door to him and he kindly obeys, but you take the chance and purposefully hit him in the head with the door. Serves him right! As Jungkook winces while bearing the physical pain, you gladly saunter to the driver's side, turning on the car and heading it to Jungkook’s address—which you already remember like your own, located not really far from university.
Few minutes pass in silence, so you think Jungkook already fell asleep, when a sudden question is heard and throws you away to shock.
“Do you like kissing Seokjin?”
“What the fuck—” You look at him, thinking he is joking but you find him staring back at you, eyes dead serious while his face is painted with no trace of mirth whatsoever. It sends you jitter and nerves all over your body. “Jungkook, I don’t understand why you are asking that.”
“I just want to know if he is a good kisser or not.”
“He doesn’t need to be a good kisser to make me like kissing him.”
You heard Jungkook’s breath hitched like it’s so hard to believe. “So you like kissing him?”
“That’s beside the point, Jungkook. I am just stating a fact cause your logic is flawed.”
You most definitely underestimated the level of distressfulness in his question when Jungkook literally growls, not liking the mind games you are playing on him. “I’m serious. Do. you. like. kissing. him. or not!”
“I don’t know why you are asking that, since it’s literally you who asks for the fucking beer pong game. Not to mention, it’s you who wants me to bone this guy, Jungkook.” You whisper, reminding him of the day he offers you to come to Hoseok’s birthday party. “That question is weird, I am not answering that.”
“I regret that day, everyday…” You hear him mutter silently while looking outside the window. You quickly warn yourself to avoid overthinking it. It’s unhealthy, and you’ve been here before! Better to turn off your feelings before everything gets messy on your side.
“Why do you even have to be bad at beer pong?! It’s just shooting fucking ball to a cup. How bad can you be to not even score a point?!” Jungkook childishly huffs, and you take a few deep breaths to stop yourself from landing a punch to his devilishly handsome drunk face. What you are going to do is ignore him, like an adult you truly are.
But the silence is too much and you just want to talk to him, hence opening up a new topic. “Jungkook, you know you have to leave for Busan tomorrow. You shouldn’t be partying the day before. Have you even packed?”
Jungkook looks at you and sighs, like he is mentally and physically drained—well, as he should from drinking that much. “How can I, when there’s a chance you are going to the party as well.”
You raise your eyebrow, unsure. “What are you saying?”
Jungkook scoffs in disbelief when grasping how clueless you actually are. “I don’t know what fucking Seokjin has asks you to believe, but I am still your best friend, Y/N.  Since we were kids. I know you like the back of my hand, I know how you hate parties, how you dislike being around strangers, and I know how dangerous it is to be with these frat boys.”
He pauses. “And frankly, I just can’t trust Seokjin. Even with ten years of friendship, I’m still finding new, wonderful things about you and you expect me to trust a fucker who only knows you for a month? Seriously. I only trust myself to be capable of taking care of you.”
The sincerity in his words and gaze, how determined he is with his words seriously blinded your sanity—this part of you trying to assure that what he says is strictly platonic. Your heart is beating so fast it is literally painful to even breath, all the butterflies in your stomach fly without a care in the world. Does he really mean it? Do you even want to know what he means by the words?
The rest of the way passes in tense silence, both of you busy in each of your thoughts, and the car already approaches the street of his house. You sigh, putting on the break when you finally arrive in front of his house lane. “This is it, Jungkook. Go home, get some sleep. Don’t forget to eat some aspirin, and please wake up in time for your flight.”
Jungkook somberly nods, clicking his seatbelt off. You were about to say something, anything about addressing the elephant inside the car—to confirm whether he meant his words, whether he is indeed jealous of the punishment kiss with Seokjin. But then he beats you to it.
“Can I ask you one thing? And please promise me you will answer this.” He stares at you, and you hesitatingly hum as an answer, the tension is hard to miss.
“Answer me truthfully. Do you like kissing him? Seokjin, I mean.”
You sigh, not believing how still hung up Jungkook is on the matter. “Jungkook—”
“I know you like this guy so much, Y/N. I don't even want to ask that. I just want to know if you like the kiss. I wish this guy sucks in kissing, at least let me live with that.”
You look up to him, cheeks turning vermillion as he braves himself to look into your eyes. Your heart swells in pride, thinking how important it is to confirm that to you. God, has he really been this cute before?
“It was okay.” 
Listening to your answer, Jungkook smiles widens from ear to ear, like he is completely over the moon with okay as an answer. “Just okay? Not mind blowing whatsoever?” 
“It was okay.” You repeat, not confirming nor denying his latter question, but Jungkook still looks pleased with just the same answer. The manchild then hums, throwing both his arms around you, enveloping you into a hug so close like he never wants to let go. After a good minute he finally lets go, still with a million-dollar smile on his face and... rests his forehead on yours, closing his eyes as he breathes your scent in. This time, you are definitely sure you are going to schedule a slot with a cardiologist because there must be something wrong with your heart for beating that fast. There must be. And then his eyes flutter open, showing a strained gaze filled with anonymous emotion. 
“Are you going to be mad if I were to kiss you now?”
At Jungkook’s hushed questions, the temptation to taste his lips and comply with his request has you blinded, so you let go of your sanity and approve with a shy nod. The realistic side of you is quickly shut down as you don’t want to argue with it now. All you are thinking and craving about is to kiss him, or else you are going to die.
As his lips advances, the kiss finally happens. You can vividly feel the fireworks light up inside your chest—a strange yet wonderful feeling, the first time you ever feel this away while kissing someone. Jungkook’s lips are soft, touching you slowly like he is testing the waters. After he feels your careful reply, he sends more pressure, slowly but sure savoring your lips like he is taking his dearest time with you. Boy did he taste amazing—like a good whiskey, even if it’s probably all on him. The kiss feels amazing, yet you find yourself getting impatient with how it progresses, since all you can think is to feel him close. God, you must have lost your mind.
“Patience, pumpkin.” He teases, and you can feel a sleazy smile formed on his lips. You snort in annoyance, but he unexpectedly uses it to his advantage, stealthily shoving down his tongue inside your mouth cave. You gasp when the taste of alcohol kicks in, but is content nevertheless. You can’t even describe how good it is to have him close, your fingers entangled in his beautiful oak brown silk hair, his hands tightly encircled on your waist. How did you even think about spending a lifetime without kissing him?
“God, can I have you now? But I hate doing it in the car—I want our first time to be special.” 
Somehow, his desperate words instantly sobers your lust-clouded head, viciously taking you back to reality. So he really thinks of you that easily. And like you are saved by the bell, his brother appears from inside the house, probably realizing that the car has arrived but yet to show his brother—for a bit way too long. You curtly shove him away, heading outside the car before slamming the door vigorously. Of course. Of fucking course that is going to happen! What do you expect? He kisses you once and is finally ready to take your hand in marriage? You should’ve known better than to fall for the same tricks he played on those dumb girls. He even does it while drunk, for god sake. You should’ve known better!
With heavy self-disappointment you quickly open your phone, opening an app to order your ride home. All you want to do is now wail in sadness, and promise yourself to never let that happen again. You are too focused on your plan to flee, so when you feel Jungkook’s touch against your skin, you instinctively flinch. You can see how pained he is to see your reaction closing him off, yet you keep your mouth shut, not wanting to say even a word to him. The more you think about what just happened, the stronger the ache you feel, so you decided to just stop trying. You desperately need some time alone.
“Y/N! You are here. Thank you so much from bringing Jungkook home. This kid never learns, I swear.” Junghyun smiles, nonchalant to the tense air between you and Jungkook. You put up a fake smile of reassurance to the older guy, shrugging his worry.
“Are you going home? I can drive you, just let me take this guy in first.” Junghyun kindly offers, but you quickly recide. How can you do that when just in a few hours they are going to fly to Busan? They are seriously too kind.
“I ordered my taxi, it will arrive soon, oppa. No worries!” You brightly smile, not minding the obvious stares of Jungkook on your skin. You thank your lucky stars after the white taxi of your choice gladfully is near enough, and the blinding light of the taxi car lamp finally allows you to breathe. “It’s here!”
“Hyung, please take the details of the taxi, will you?” 
While entering the taxi you hear Jungkook’s subtle request to his brother, yet you pretend to be clueless, since it is better this way. You can’t. You shouldn’t. You don’t want to mess with the things you have now. You are so conflicted you don’t even know what to do with yourself.
“Text me when you get home.” Jungkook rigidly murmurs and you nod with the same manner. The taxi finally moves, and after a few seconds of total silence, you find the tears you have been holding for a while finally free, raining down on your cheeks.
Finally ending the fateful night, you arrive in your apartment and cry yourself to sleep. You feel betrayed, you feel dirty, you feel played and used. You do not know what has gotten into you to seriously think you are special to Jungkook, but that’s definitely not the case since he just caught up in the moment and just needed you to wet his dick. After that, you are going to ruin a ten year old friendship just because you can’t keep your feelings in hand like he can’t keep his dick inside his pants. You should’ve seen it coming—but now the damage is done, there is no use of regretting the things you can’t change. Yet ever since that day you can’t even sleep, eat, study, or basically do anything without thinking about him.
Especially since in the morning he left for Busan, he informed you through a message that he will be there for a week, and after that he needs to talk to you. You haven’t even replied, leaving him only on read even if that’s basically what you are thinking about night and day. What is he going to say? Is he going to reject you? Is he going to say how disgusted he is for that night? Is he going to tell you should not be friends anymore? There are countless scenarios playing in your head, and not even one is as what you wish it would be. Just an endless count of rejection and humiliation.
So the night before he is coming back, you are seated coated in your blanket in your apartment, right in front of your TV even though you don’t even know what show is playing. You are just zoning out, racking your brains for reasons that you need to say to Jungkook to avoid meeting him tomorrow. Do you just pretend you are sick? Or can you bail on him? But thinking about Jungkook, waiting alone in a cafe makes you sad and guilty, so you immediately cancel that last option. God, what are you going to do?
Too invested in your thoughts, you do not notice Lia is just in front of you. You finally acknowledge her presence when after she is now waving a plastic of delicious smelling food in front of your face. “Hey, earth to Y/N!” She calls you again, the agitation builds up for the past week of being ignored by her own roommate.
“Honey, seeing you like this makes me sad.” She sighs, resting the plastic on the desk. “I brought offering food, and with this I hope you can finally tell me what’s wrong.”
You sigh, realizing how annoyed she must be seeing you like this. You have been closed off on her as well, keeping the event from a week ago only for yourself. It just doesn’t feel right talking about it with someone Jungkook admitted he likes… Which suddenly pops an idea inside your brilliant head. God! How can you not think of it before?!
You widely let out an ear-to-ear smile which frankly scares Lia due to the drastic change of mood. But you couldn't care less. You need to do this, to save the remaining pieces of your friendship with Jungkook and give him a helpful hand as well.
“Lia, honey, can you please help me with something?”
Jungkook arrives at Gimpo International Airport at 5.40pm, along with his parents and brother. After going back for the wedding of his relatives, every new day he can’t wait to finally be back in Seoul. He is worried as hell about you, since he is aware that he did make a mistake that night—he scares you with his overwhelming feelings, but he promises himself to make things right. He would be crazy to let you go that easily. Jungkook definitely felt something from you that night—there is a glimpse of hope that you somehow like him too, and now he is helplessly hanging on to that rope.
After telling you he needed to see you after he got back, you left him on read for a few days and he had to confess that he was so moody and off during those days, constantly pissing everyone around him. But how can he not? He thought he lost his chance. What if Seokjin took those days to convince you how much better of a man he is than him? What if you had enough of him and dump his ass? Or worse, what if you think you can no longer even be friends? Those thoughts constantly bothered him, but when you message time and place to meet him, he feels comforted. He trusted you—you are much better of a person than what his pessimistic mind forced him to believe.
So when his flight arrives, he directly goes to take the train instead of going with his family’s car, heading to the restaurant you informed. As you informed him about the dinner—7pm reservation, he carefully calculated his ETA. Jungkook is a bit confused due to your choice of place—you don’t really fancy Mexican food, but he pays no heed as what he can only focus is what he is about to say and the gift he thought thoroughly and carefully before, secured on his backpack. Jungkook silently smiles. He is going to make this right.
Exactly an hour arrival, he is now in the area of the restaurant. He quickly hitch a taxi, asking the driver to drive as fast as he can since his plan was to arrive first before you. The hope grows dimmer as seconds pass, especially when his taxi is caught in the middle of a traffic jam. Jungkook groans, there is no hesitation that he will be late. He quickly send you an apology by text, in which you do not even read—adding more anxiety to his already existing one.
After a few minutes which passes like a thousand years, he finally arrives in the said restaurant. He slaps a few bills at the driver, not even waiting for a change as he runs inside, nervously tapping his foot after mentioning your name as a reservation. His heart is beating fast, his palms turn clammy, and he feels jittery all over his body. God, the feeling has already been too long to even remember. But he can’t deny that it indeed feels nice. It feels amazing to care and have real emotions this deeply about someone.
Instead of finding the face he has been thinking of night and days, he finds a completely different woman, sitting nervously on the table. He is too overwhelmed to even speak.
“You—What are you doing here?!”
Jungkook can’t even believe his eyes. It’s Lia, your best friend, sitting on the table right now. All at once, his head spins followed by a sudden nausea bubbling up his throat from the great shock. He has been expecting you—to see your face again waiting for him with a smile, to tell you how much you mean to him, to finally confess and give him a gift he carefully picks out for you—but instead you set him up for dinner with your best friend, without letting either of them know. He feels rejected, a wave of sadness crashing at him that he can only weakly sit down, his legs nearly giving him up. He is now mourning on so-selfless yet so idiotic action you do him.
“God, Y/N asked me for dinner together, and he actually set me up with you? What the fuck?!” Lia flares angrily, taking her phone and fervently dialing up your number. Seeing how ugly it can get, Jungkook takes the phone away, closing the call. “What are you doing?!” She hisses.
“I.. I accidentally lied to her that I like you instead of her when she caught us meeting that morning.” Jungkook whispers, his throat too dry for catching up in the sadness. “And now she is setting us up together.”
“God, it all makes sense now! She actually asked me how I feel about you, and knowing you like her, I put good words. Could it be that she thinks I like you too?” She gasps, but Jungkook is already too numb in the feeling. “God, she is such a moron sometimes!”
“That’s okay. It’s just clear now. I know she does not have any feelings for me, and she might be too afraid to say so. She is probably already with Seokjin now.” Jungkook bitterly whispers, trying to uphold his voice yet it still wound him so fucking bad. Of course that is it. Seokjin is a whole perfect package for a man, not a child with zero emotional capacity like him. He must be drunk to even think about competing with that man.
“No, that's not it..” Lia shakes her head fervently at Jungkook’s helpless posture. “I believe she broke up whatever relationship she had with Seokjin. Don’t tell her you know this from me, but they kinda did it in our apartment hallways a few days ago and I accidentally—well not really accidental but that’s not the point—heard! I thought she was extremely quiet and sad because of that!”
He is confused, he really is, but now he knows the fact, there must be something he has not known yet. “Are you sure?” Jungkook rises up to his seat, strangely motivated. Not that he wants to take advantage of your odd break up with Seokjin for his personal advantage, he just wants to be there for you — like what best friends would do.
“Are you okay if I leave you now?” Jungkook kindly asks, and Lia shoo him away boredly, eyes already skimming on the menu.
“Don’t need no boys helping me eat, but you owe me a lot after this, bro. You get it?” With a nod of confirmation and a short smile, Jungkook quickly heads to the place he knew he would find you.
You don’t even know what you are doing, seated in the usual coffee shop you always visit with Jungkook. You have been sitting in the cafe for nearly two hours, munching on the countless foods you order from the menu, yet you can’t hold back the obnoxious, ugly feeling in your chest — especially when the barista is asking where Jungkook is when you ordered your usual. It’s literally on you—you were the one setting up both your best friends who greatly deserve and like each other together, so why is it so painful to face the possibility that they are having a nice date in her favorite Mexican restaurant right now?
Great. Now you are crying. God, you must look hideous, no make up, alone with plates of food in front of you. You can’t even imagine what people must be thinking about you right now, since even you are disgusted with yourself.
“I better go home.” You sigh, ready to pick the bill when a soft bell tingling is heard and you do not know whether you can believe your eyes or not, but it signals Jungkook’s entrance. He is wearing a dark blue sweater you bought him for his birthday a year ago, walking pensively to your table. Just looking at him immediately quickens your heartbeat, too loud you can distinctly hear it rings in your ear. What is happening? Why is he here, not more than an hour in the date? That look—Is he mad at you?
“Y/N, before I am going to be angry at you for setting me up with your best friend, I want to hit pause. Okay?” He calmly speaks, resting his bag on the floor. You look at him with teary eyes, still shocked for only his presence so you hesitantly nod. 
“Are you okay? After Seokjin, I mean. I heard about it.” Jungkook whispers, trying for a slow approach to the said matter. You don’t even know how he knows, yet you don’t really care.  “I’m sorry.”
You finally gather your courage to let out your voice, eyes still training on your lap. “Don’t be. It’s hard, but I’m okay. We just realize it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Do you want a hug?” Jungkook good-naturedly offers like it's the most usual thing to do inside a coffeeshop, and you can’t hold the chuckle which he follows. “We always hug it out whenever we are sad. I don’t know about you, but it always works for me. Your hugs are the best.”
You know he probably does not imply anything, so you nod, because you are desperately in need of your best friend’s hug right now. When everything is hard, it feels nice to have someone who completely understands and is willing to listen, instead of telling you what you need to do. That’s the kind of friendship you have with him, and you are thankful neither of you has given up on each other even with the constant fights.
After a good ten minutes just having each other close in a hug—his arms secured around your shoulder while you lean your head on his annoyingly sturdy chest—you let your best friend go. “God, we must be looking like two moron right now.” You whisper, noticing a few glances are thrown at your table and Jungkook snickers, agreeing with your comment. You snort. “More like because you look like a fucking idol and I look a hobo. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Hey, I just arrived from Busan and I directly come here without even changing.” He pouts and you chuckle, feeling the butterflies vividly knocking on your stomach. He helps you asking for the bill, and when it arrives, he directly gives the waiter his card and you angrily shove him away.
“Jungkook, if you pay for the food you don’t even touch, I swear to god—”
“But it's my turn to pay!” He protests and you roll your eyes.
“It’s not, because you did not even eat a thing.”
He quickly munch on the leftover fries, giving the waiter his card and pushing the confused man away before you can snatch the card back. You hiss, seriously feeling guilty for letting him pay for the whole thing. “God, I am starving! Can I eat this?” He asks, munching on your half eaten pasta without waiting for you. You just stare at him, happily eating your food and you can’t hold down the smile.
“Can I have this coffee too?” He politely asks, pointing at your black coffee and you sigh. 
“Jungkook, once again I tell you, you do not like black coffee. I’ll just order you anything.” You are about to call the waiter again when he holds you back.
“I like everything you like, Y/N. I think this goddamn coffee has grown on me.”
But he is completely bullshitting you—and probably himself because as his lips touch the glass to take a sip, he instinctively grimaces at the strong, bitter taste. Gosh, an idiot and somehow you still call him your best friend.
“Jungkook, do you want me to order you a banana milkshake?” You kindly offer like the coffee thing did just not happen, and he answers with a 1000 watt smile that leaves you strangely speechless.
“My hero.”
After exactly another hour talking about the cousin’s wedding he attended a few days ago, both of you and him exit the coffeeshop. You can’t hide your blush when the barista is secretly teasing you with his goddamn eyebrow, not that Jungkook can notice. God, you wish he doesn’t notice.
“Can we walk to your apartment? Are you okay? it’s a little bit cold.” Jungkook worriedly asks, and you nod as an agreement. He smiles serenely at you, his hand runs to fix your messy hair—courtesy of the wind. His fingers delicately put a strand of lost hair to the back of your ear, and smile with all his bunny teeth on display after being satisfied with the result. God, you wish he would not notice how nervous you are right now.
During the short walk filled with comfortable silence, he reaches your hand, tightly intertwining it with his fingers. All the things he does are not special—you nearly do it every time in your so-called platonic friendship, but everything definitely has changed. But the fuzzy feeling quickly turns into nerves when you sense the inevitable talk is coming, as he points to one of the benches in front of your apartment building.
“I am angry at you.”
You look up to him, expecting anger on his face when you found none, instead a thin smile. “You set me up with your best friend. What were you thinking, Y/N?”
“You said you liked her. And I know you need a push to finally do something about it, that’s why I did it.” You guiltily try to defend yourself. Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling remorse of what the conversation will turn into.
“But.. I don’t know whether we want to discuss this, but here goes—we kissed that night, Y/N. Does it even mean anything to you?” 
And now it is there. The hurt, the frustration, the anger shown on his beautiful doe eyes. You know it is coming — the inevitable confrontation about that night. But how can he even ask such question to you? Doesn’t he know it nearly keeps you awake every night?
“You were drunk, Jungkook. And horny... I was—we were just caught up in the moment.”
He scoffs in disbelief. “I don’t know about you, but I was not just caught up in the moment.” Jungkook curtly answers, taking a deep breath of courage. He hopes he doesn’t mess up everything and end up chasing you away yet again.
“Can’t you see it, Y/N? I like you. I like you so much for how it seems like a long time ago, but idiot me, somehow I just realize everything now.”
At his answer, your head feels like it is about to explode. But you are too scared, too realistic to even think about the possibility that he may truly mean every word. “You can’t lie to me like that, Jungkook! I am not the girl you can play with like your one night stands. I do not want to be just another number to you.”
“But you're not just another number to me!” He agitatedly hisses, letting his emotions open up on the table. “You think it doesn’t kill me? I think about it nearly everyday. I think about you and Seokjin. I think about you rejecting me. I think about you and our ten years friendship currently on the line. Do you think it has been just a walk in the park for me?”
He takes a deep breath. “I like you, Y/N. I like you so much it kills me for you to close me off that night we kissed. I thought everything was clear—my obvious feelings for you, but just now, you set me up with your best friend. How fucking great!”
The tears welling in your eyes are forcing to come out. “You don’t know how afraid I was, Jungkook. You can’t even imagine how it was for me! I like kissing you—I think I like it a little bit too much—but when you said you wanted to fuck in the car, I felt… I felt disgusted. You were drunk, and I felt like you were just using me for my body, like I’m just another dumb girls who you’ll fuck and never call back. I.. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”
The statement you let out just brings a whole new guilt on his chest, and he moves to hold you close. “What were you thinking, Y/N. I would never do that to you…”
“How can I think of that? Are you shitting me right now? Jungkook, you slept with at least three girls a week, and you explicitly told me about fucking these girl nearly everyday before. So you expect me to comply and fuck you in that car, ruining our friendship because you only want to fuck me and wet your dick?!”
“Y/N, I swear it is not that. I like you too much, and I got so jealous of Seokjin—I am sorry that I make you feel that way. But I swear to god, at that time I just wanted to show you how much I like you, and I am sorry if it came out that way.”
You take a deep breath, but even doing it suffocates you. “I just need some time. That’s it. Can we… can we just pretend this never happens?” You sigh tiredly, and at your word, Jungkook feels hit with a ton of brick until he is completely numb. You want to disregard everything that happened?
“I am heading upstairs. You.. you can just head home now.” You whisper, and every word coming out hurts you back like it hurts him, but you need this. You need some time to think about everything. You don’t want to hurt yourself again—just seeing him now hurts so fucking bad already. Jungkook is not emotionally ready for you. He just caught up in the moment of drunkenness, and he doesn’t mean it. You should just stop thinking about it.
You are about to leave to cry your eyes to sleep, when you heard him call from behind.
“Here. I bought this for you. Don’t worry, Y/N.  I’ll leave.”
And you can hear the steps of his boots, walking far and far away until it disappears in the  silence. Now that he is not here, you find the wind is ten times colder, and the pain in your chest multiplies a thousand times. It’s only you now, alone with your thoughts. You brave yourself to turn back, seeing a box of chocolate resting on the bench, which then leaves you a crying mess.
It’s the exact chocolate he gave ten years ago to the girls, the one you ate when you saved him from the humiliation he faced. How could he even get this?
To : Y/N
Thank you for saving me again that day. And the day after. And the day after, until today. I owe you my life :)
With love, your vermillion faced favorite person in the world.
Jeon Jungkook.
Another week passes, and Jungkook wakes up with a groan inside of his room he shared with Taehyung. God was he trashed last night. His frat was having another party, and he may or may not steal a few bottles and decided to trash himself whilst playing Overwatch—he can’t even remember when or how. His back is killing him for falling asleep with bent back, his face plastered on the keyboard.
He tries to straighten up, but the dizziness from suddenly standing up washes him away that it takes some time to get used to. His lips are as dry as sahara, yet he found no bottle of water that may relieve the thirst—seriously, Jungkook? Stealing two bottles of vodka but forgot to bring up a bottle of water? God he is a moron sometimes.
He walks out of the room, descending to the downstairs with his head still banging painfully due to the bad hangover. He is about to head directly straight to the kitchen, but his steps are paused when he finds Seokjin currently having his breakfast on the table, with… you.
The first thought that comes to his mind is how different you look—you look pale and tired, the dark eyebags are getting prominent and it does look like you haven’t been sleeping well. The thoughts finally come closing when he realizes how awkward the air has become, you, Seokjin and himself on such close distance. Jungkook can’t bear the bitter thoughts of you, having your usual breakfast with Seokjin. God, he must be a bother—so he quickly enters the kitchen, intends to grab a drink and forces himself out of the picture.
“Jung—Jungkook, can we talk? Outside, I mean. I want to tell you something.”
He looks back, not expecting to find you standing up and walking to him to the kitchen. 
“We can. Do we need Seokjin to join as well?” He bitterly shoves the water inside his throat, not even minding how petty he must have sounded. 
“No. No need. I need to talk to you alone.” You beg, internally praying that Jungkook will not make it harder than it already is. All you want to do is say what you needed to say, then run away and bury yourself alive beside the nearest tree. 
Jungkook hums, and follows your hesitant step to the backyard of his frat house. But now that he is seeing you in such close distance, makes him realize that he terribly misses seeing you and talking to you. The week after the confession he let out, he decides to give you the space you deserve—no matter how desperate he is to just send you a message and ask how you’re doing. He can’t even deny that he went to your faculty a few times before, wanting to just see how you are doing even from afar. He knows how cringey and creepy that thought is, but he seriously can’t stand the idea of not having to see your face during those times. Checking up on you is like something he has been doing for ten years now, and he doesn’t intend to stop just because you need your own space.
Now you are standing with him, yet he thoughtfully motion so you can sit on the patio wall. The first touch he gave you since the last encounter, and it successfully turns you ten times nervous than you already are. Will you even be able to say what you need to say when he is right there, looking at you like that?
“Before you say anything, can I ask why are you having breakfast with Seokjin?” He starts, somehow unable to disregard the scene he just witnesses. He doesn’t know why, but he feels somehow sad and anxious that you are spending such an intimate breakfast with him. Sensing that Jungkook is indeed dead serious, and so are you, you decide not to beat around the bush and answer him with the truth.
“It’s nothing. I just wanted to see you and he was there, having his breakfast. He was just being polite.” 
“Jungkook, I want to say I am sorry.” You whisper directly and cut to the chase, intending to look him in the eyes but still failing to do so. All because you are nothing but a nervous pile of mess. “I.. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t set you up with Lia just because of my insecurities. I thought I was doing you some good, but that was my fault to overstep it. And I shouldn’t have been angry at the thoughts that you were just playing with me—it’s only in my head and I accused you for it. It’s so unfair for you, I.. I want to apologize.”
Both of you fall into deep and tense silence, waiting for the other to speak up. But falling too uncomfortable with the silence, you decide to open your voice again. “Aren’t you going to say anything? Are you still angry at me?”
“Shouldn’t you apologize for one more thing?” Jungkook calmly asks, basking in your appearance once again like it’s never enough. God, are you even eating well? You hesitantly look up, confused with his words. What does he mean by that?
“The way you expect us to forget everything happened.” He winces soundly just by saying the word he refuses to acknowledge since the moment he heard it. Just thinking about the word you said a few nights back still brings fresh pain inside his chest. “That’s actually what hurts me the most. I don’t really care about the other.” You bit your lower lips. Is it just your hallucination or Jungkook seriously asking that?
Jungkook racks his brain, trying to articulate his thoughts yet failing to do so. Then he gives up, letting his heart do the talking instead. “I like you, Y/N. I don’t want to scare you—but I might even be in love with you. These past few years are so clear now. I like you, I always have feelings for you but it was so clouded with any friendly, somehow platonic feelings I thought I have and I don’t know—what happened with us just awakened me, making me realize  that I don’t want anyone else but me to be the one taking care of you.”
The newfound sincerity in his words astonishes you. Your breath hitches, with his words coming in and out of your mind, yet it still feels unsettled. Does he really mean it? 
“I guess I was just too busy with myself, with my own ways of hiding the pain I felt. But I realize, it was not any parties, or meaningless sex or any other things that makes me happy. I thought it was, but it’s not.” Jungkook takes your chin, pleading for you to look up to him. You are too overwhelmed by emotion, and you are thankful he asked you to sit because if you weren’t, your leg would give you away.
“It’s you. It’s always you.” He proclaims, as clear as the sky upon him. “It’s breakfast with you, talking with you everyday, seeing you be happy and be the one causing it. That’s what makes me happy.”
At such sentiment, the tears swimming in the corner of your eyes finally falls, streaming on the side of your cheek. He quickly pulls you close, his head entangles on your hair and your hands basked on his waist tightly, like you are holding it for dear life.  “Jungkook, I am scared. I don’t want to lose you... What if everything goes wrong and then I lost you forever?”
Jungkook kisses the top of your head. God, he is scared beyond words too. But he loves you too much, he believes in what you both have and is ready to take his chances. “We’ll make it through. I can’t promise you much, but I promise I’ll always look out for our best interests. You won’t lose me. I am your best friend before anything, Y/N.”
You nod, somehow assured by his words. You know it’s going to be hard to believe—even your past self would too, but you trust him with all your heart. Jungkook has been one constant thing in your life, and you trust him and are willing to put everything on the line because frankly, you love him, and he loves you. Maybe it’s time to finally be brave enough to face anything and take that risk. Only because it is him.
Another moment of holding each other close when Jungkook fucking opened his mouth and decided to ruin everything. “So.. Can I kiss you now?” He jokingly whispers and you snort, all sappy moments crumbling down to ashes. An amused chuckle somehow did escape your lips, and he pouts. “Hey, let me kiss you, you pretty girl. Seriously, I kissed you once, and god, that’s all I can think of this past week.”
You roll your eyes, heart beating rapidly fast in your chest. You are going to shrug his face away from you, but the moment you can clearly look up to him, you feel warm and giddy. His face is saying everything, shaded vermillion red while shyly looking down on you. A flashback comes inside your head, reminding you about the eleven year old kid with the same shade of vermillion on his face. He is still the same Jungkook you know—the Jungkook you love and wouldn’t trade for anything in the whole world.
His lips advance closer to yours yet you are the one to close the distance between. To have your lips finally touch against his chapped one, you can feel the same firework lights up, only ten times better now that you finally is truthful to your own feeling. God does it feel amazing to feel it to have him against your lips. Both of you are too content with even such innocent kisses, feeling the smile forming in each of your lips, inevitably bringing up a laughter.
“Fucking finally!”
At the loud roar, you quickly push Jungkook until he falls a few steps back, completely shocked beyond words to hear the shouts behind you—which belongs to Taehyung, somehow with Lia shutting him instantly on the mouth. There are few other frat brothers like Jimin and Namjoon as well, smiling meaningfully in front of the door. You shyly duck your head, god, how long have they been standing there? This is embarrassing!
“Are you going to hit them or should I?” You whisper, walking outside from the back door with Jungkook on your side, escaping the loud shouts and woo from the people standing there. Jungkook chuckles with mirth at your reddened abashed face. Is it a good time for him to say how adorable you are right now, with a burst of red coloring your cheek?
“No worries, I will.” He kisses your supple cheek. “But objectively speaking, I do think Lia has rights for that. She is the one helping me to get you since god-knows-when.” Jungkook smiles endearingly, holding you close around the shoulder when it’s finally just the two of you, brushing a kiss on the top of your head. You chuckle knowingly, and Jungkook stops to see you straight on the eye.
“Aren’t you going to ask me when, why or how? I mean about the chasing you thing with Lia.” He asks seriously, yet apparently can’t get his hands far from you as he reaches for your cheek, softly brushing it delicately with his fingers. You hum, somehow content with his touches. God, you sure like him so much it hurts.
“Baby—you’re cute. But actually it’s Lia who convinces me about you.” You chuckle, and Jungkook scrunch his eyebrows, yet still falling shy at the nickname that sounds entirely different now that you are the one saying it to him. “She told me everything. And that’s actually when I realize that I can trust you. With all my heart.”
Jungkook smiles, heart turning warm from your statement and still, the endearing nickname. “On the light note, you called me your baby. Ugh, can I kiss you again, pumpkin?” He cheekily asks, and your hearts light up at the familiar yet so strange nickname that now it feels different to have him as your lover.
You smirks, holding his palm against your cheek, taking in his disheveled, morning appearance once again. He looks extensively cute with his button nose and reddened cheeks, his disheveled morning hair still super inviting to have your fingers running through it. And it is unfair that somehow he looks his best now, better than anything you have seen him before. High chance it is because for you, the best thing for Jungkook to wear is his smile—especially when it’s because of you.
“Not if you have to ask again every time you don’t.”
He smirks and pulls you by the nape, muttering an answer against your smiling lips. He seriously wouldn’t mind doing this every second of the day.
Finally! nearing 25k, wow this is a lot to write. But it was so much fun and i hope you like it! let me know and lets talk :) kindly check my masterlist !
UPDATE #1 : Drabble posted on masterlist! Do check lovelies! <3
UPDATE #2 : Find the Taehyung spinoff, “The Platinum Rules” click here!
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saksukei · 11 months ago
wen junhui college au
other college aus; wonu minghao mingyu
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you're damn right if you think that wen junhui is a theatre arts major because he iS and that too with humanistic studies as a minor aH and he's also on the rowing team,,, he started rowing as a joke and now he has one of the best times??? like. how.
and everybody knows he has too much energy and he uses it in the best way possible
like the plays? dude has a separate fanclub
you keep on seeing new tweets about “who’s the black haired guy in the play?” like wen junhui’s popularity is straight up no joke,, EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM
you on the other hand are an exercise physiology major with nutrition as a minor and you're also part of the rowing team,, and you have the best time for the women’s team,, which means,, you see junhui every other day,,
the coach pairs you guys often,, but there’s only one small issue,,,
he's such a pain in the ass,, he teases you every time he sees you,,, he always challenges your skills and makes you doubt yourself,, oh the amount of times you’ve wanted to deck him in the face,,
and today was the same as well
“you're not dead yet?” you hissed, as you saw jun approach you,,
“dont sound so disappointed, I might think you don't like me,” he retorted, a smug expression on his face, as he set his bag right beside yours.
“but I really don't like you,” you roll your eyes,,
jun chuckled, as he clapped his hands together, getting everyone's attention.
you guys were practicing indoors, on the rowing machine because there was some trouble with the equipment and the coach had to go get new stuff
which also meant he left jun in charge,, the teams assembled,, looking at junhui for directions,,
“alright everyone, warm up for ten and then start with a thousand metres,” he instructed. “and y/n, you're my partner.”
you rolled your eyes while everyone was whistling or smirking
it was no secret that you and jun didn't get along and he purposely tried to get on your nerves,,, heck everyone in the club said you two would fall in love at one point or another but you assured them by saying you'd rather choke
“your IQ is lower than room temperature junhui if you think that I want to train with you,” you hissed, as the two of you walked towards the machine.
“oh I'm sorry, I don't compare my intelligence quotient to someone who was deprived of oxygen when they were born,” he snapped, as he started warming up.
“you know what,” you spoke. “i'll just aggressively ignore your existence until you disappear.”
“maybe you should try doing it with that bird hair of yours, looks like worms will crawl out of it soon”
“why don't you look at your face first– ass clown?”
“why don't you look at your face first ass clown” he mimicked in a high pitched tone and all you wanted was to stab him there and then
“CAN YOU TWO SHUT UP WE'RE TRYING TO PRACTICE?” one of the team members yelled, causing you two to fall silent and warm up.
the next day,,, one of your best friends had begged you to go to her department because she had misplaced one of her things,, you only agreed on the basis that you'd be getting pizza
you were passing by the theatre to the class she told you to go to,, and you heard someone rehearsing their lines,, you went ahead to see who it was,,
of course it was jun with a script in his hands,,
and you don't know what it was,, but something just pulled you into the room,, maybe it was the way his words echoed of the walls,, the emotion in those alluring eyes of his,,
you actually sat down and listened to him instead of wanting to kill him,,, understanding what the hype was around him,,
like? you didn't even know this side of junhui existed??? excuse me? he was the biggest dick alive to you so you never really paid attention to anything nice that he did but this,,
you didn't even realize he had stopped until someone snapped you out of it
and you saw jun standing right in front of you
“well well well, it looks like I have a fan,” he smirked, folding his arms as he bent down to your level
“h-heck no,, I was just,,, looking for the um.....” you cursed your memory internally for forgetting.
“umm?” he teased,,
“shut up, I really was looking for something,” you snapped
“alright, alright” he surrenders,, raising his hands in defeat. “how was it though?” he asked.
“the lines,, i'm sure you heard some of it.”
“they were um,,, good,” you reply,, shyly,, you've never been used to giving him compliments,,
jun nods as an awkward silence befalls the both of you,, you take it as a que to leave,, but then his voice stops you,,
“hey,, why don't you rehearse with me?” he suggested. “my actual partner is really busy and I need someone to rehearse with.”
“uh,, yeah sure?” you reply,,, as he hands you the script,,
jun started reciting his lines and you responded with the same enthusiasm
but the only thing that worried you was the last,, scene
in the script, it was written that jun's chracter would walk over to where you were, push your character against the wall and would try to initiate a kiss but your character would push him away
and so jun recited his last line, “i don't think I've ever tasted lips so fine, heck i'd taste them over and over again” he walked towards you, eventually pushing you against the wall
and his face was an inch from away from yours and you could feel his breath tickling your ear and you realized,,, how pretty wen junhui was,, how perfectly sculptured his face was,, those lips,, those cheekbones?? wait what??
and you were so mesmerized with how he acted on stage you didn't really realize you had to play a part as well
jun broke his stance, “you know you're supposed to push me away right?”
“y-yeah uh–but I–um remembered that I left the stove on!” you lied. “aND I DID SO BYE JUN!” you grabbed your bag and yEETED YOURSELF OUT OF THERE
and jun was confused but he ignored it and started rehearsing again
you on the other hand were trying to calm yourself like ???? It's just wen junhui? what the FUCK? Why is your heart racing so fast?? you were so confused? wHY? why is this happening
and the next time you saw him at training, oh dear god
“well if it isn't miss sunshine,” jun grinned.
“shut up jun, your existence makes me want to die,” you muttered,,, you felt your cheeks getting warm,,
“well, great, I think I'd be doing the world a favor.”
“jun if you're going to bother me one more time during practice I'm going to kick you so hard you will lose the ability to entertain a partner” you hissed, as you started warming up.
“nah,, you don't have the balls to do it,” he grinned, especially proud of the pun he used.
“you know what,,, I don't give a damn, so just leave me alone.”
“you give so many damns, they're visible from space,,,” he says,, his face is close to yours,, and you stop BREATHING
jun grins,, he thinks he has rendered you speechless,, as he goes up ahead to train with the boys,,
and now you were noticing all of these little things about him,, from his silly smile, to how he rolls his eyes, copies every small thing someone else does, to his goofy jokes, how his hair falls on his face, or just,,, him in general
all the while trying to keep your angry/annoyed facade so that he wouldn't pick up on it
but oh boy, it's wen junhui
and he notices every goddamn thing
including how much you've been staring at him especially in today's training session
he knew you were acting really weird since the rehearsal thingy but he was letting it slide because he thought you were upset or something and he didn't want to get on your nerves more
regardless, you decided to ignore jun from today onwards,, to stop feeling whatever you were feeling,,
and every thing was going great
you barely talked to him in rowing practice, you didn't attend the plays or even go anywhere near him
and jun,,,, he stopped annoying you as well
for two months
the whole damn university noticed but nobody dared to say anything ,,,,, in fear that you guys won't talk again
you were casually walking to the cafeteria and you heard something that just ,,,,, made your heart stop
“did you hear that jun got injured really badly? He was practicing in the theatre and this glass fell on his foot,,”
you had no idea why you suddenly cared so much like sure yeah, it was bad he got hurt but you were running so fast you felt your heart would pop out of your chest
the nurse eventually led you to where he was
and you saw his leg covered in bandages???
and your heart just broke
“hey what are you doing here?” jun asked. “i haven't seen you in like,,, two months?”
“jun I'm sorry–” you felt tears slide down your face. “i'm sorry I ignored you every time you tried to make a conversation with me or whatever I just,,, I had all these feelings that I couldn't figure out and I got scared–”
“hey hey hey, it's okay,” he cooed, as he opened his arms wide, only for them to wrap around you, as you cried in his chest. “no harm done, I promise.”
“no but jun– I was really inconsiderate and I just kept on feeling like I was missing something but I couldn't figure out what it was,” you cried out. “i felt ignoring you would be a solution but I just, I don't know?”
“hey, okay listen to me– what happened in these past two months happened–” he wiped the tears from your face. “but I hope you understand that the only reason I used to bother you a lot was because,, well,,, I really geniunely like you.”
“l-like me?” you stuttered.
“why do you think I annoy the crap out of you?”
“because you're an idiot, you like doing stuff like this,” you answered.
“but you're the only one I annoy?”
“okay that part I missed,” you give him a weak smile,, jun chuckles,, ruffling your hair,,
“in all seriousness though, I hated these two months. I felt like you were upset or something and I didn't want to risk hurting you even more so I stopped talking altogether because I thought you'd talk to me if I did,,” he admitted.
“its my fault this happened in the first place,” you responded. “and I now realize how stupid I am.”
“you're not stupid, you're just an ass clown,” he joked, a playful smile on his face.
“but i'm still sorry, junhui,” you sighed. “i really didn't want this to happen.”
“hey, it's okay– we both were right in our own places.”
“so um now what do we do?” you asked.
“well it depends,” he answered. “does someone want a cute, charming, handsome and brilliant boyfriend?” he grinned.
“only if he wants an amazing, beautiful, smart and talented girlfriend,” you answered.
“oh he sure as hell does,” jun grinned.
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boop-le-snoot · 11 months ago
First time reader click here
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Feels like this story is flopping. Is it flopping? Idk. This chapter is 100% plot and it is spooky. Cursed demon box. Helpful Stephen Strange and grumpy Wong. Hovering Bruce and Tony. Loki being a honorary Gen-Z. Found family but make it ✨superheroes✨.
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"That's a lot to unpack," Peter stated once I had given him the bare bones report of the situation at hand. "Uh, are you okay?" The boy was obviously upset at my predicament, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder.
"Kinda?" I offered, making space for Wanda and Pietro who decided to join me and Peter, away from the arguing adults. The mission discussion - an absolute disaster - started as soon as Peter had walked in. Evidently experienced in such matters, the boy ignored the bickering and came over to steal me from Bruce's clutches to peacefully finish his egg sandwich in the company of his peers.
"I wanted to ask if I could see your memory of that time," Wanda meekly offered me a piece of candy. I accepted it - sugar sweet sugar, how I love thee so! The witch continued with a smile: "I think it would be helpful to see what we're dealing with, magic-wise."
"Sure," I trusted her. "Just don't scramble what's left of my sanity, please," All of us laughed at my remark as I laid down on the cold floor with my head in Wanda's lap. Her powers felt like small brain zaps, tingles that began at the front of my forehead and ran down into my spine. I followed her instructions and thought about the times I remembered, finding the box, placing it into my closet, the nightmares. I had a mild headache by the time she was done; no grudges against her - Wanda tactfully avoided my private moments and looked only at the ones containing the artifact.
"You've gotten really good," I complimented her with pure adoration.
"Thank you," She blushed, smoothing back my stray hairs. "That stuff is really strong. I don't think you should go near the box," She admitted. "And Doc should take a look at you. You have a residue left. I don't think that's good either."
"Well, fuck," I said in muted resignation.
"Press F to pay respects," Pietro joked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.
"Your luck is almost as bad as mine," Peter pointed out.
I scoffed. "Well, if I see any spiders around, I'll be sure to stay away in case they happen to be radioactive OsCorp runaways."
All of us laughed. Despite the grim situation, I didn't feel doomed. I was surrounded by friends and my boyfriends and my bestie who happened to be a mythical omnipotent god- welp, once again, I was getting too emotional. Once the adults were done arguing, we could start making sense of this mess and hopefully clean it up before the monster is out of the box.
"Mortals," I heard Loki scoff. The next moment, the Asgardian sat down noisily next to me, pout on full display. "This house is a nightmare."
His expression - or the accidental use of a meme - sent me completely, tension leaving my body via copious amounts of nearly hysterical laughter. Through tears and hiccups, I saw Wanda cackle with me and Peter show the meme in question to Loki, noting that he had been once sent to time-out on top of the fridge by Tony himself. Soon, all of us were laughing, much to the displeasure of the adults.
"Children, what is the issue?" Thor asked, irritated.
"We're just waiting for you to be done with arguing," I spoke before Loki could start bitching about Thor calling him a child. "Then I can show Steve and Loki where exactly have I buried the box so Stephen can take me to the healers and get this thing out of me or whatever," I pointed out the most logical plan of action.
Two long strides and the sorcerer was standing over me, boom-boom-whooshing and generally making very pretty golden patterns to appear and land on top of me. Tony and Bruce anxiously hovered behind him, both of my boys concerned and ready to mother-hen me. Ugh, so disgustingly adorable. Wanda's hand encompassed mine - she was nervous.
Stephen took a solid five-minute silence break before coming to a final conclusion. "Wong can get rid of the residual traces of the artifact's influence," The sorcerer announced curtly. "It's good you got rid of the artifact, a few more months and you would have started slipping into insanity if the magic within it was not released," He explained, slowly reaching out a hand to place it on top of my head. I wasn't sure if it was a gesture meant to bring comfort or another diagnostic test but leaned into the touch nonetheless. "Tell me, did you have any behavioral... Disturbances after...?" He trailed off.
I chewed on my lip, evaluating. "I honestly don't know. I've always been kind of an asshole," Honesty was the best policy. "Nothing seems out of order, sleepwalking aside."
"I see," Strange gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Perhaps, it was your stubborn nature that forbade the artifact from corrupting your mind completely. As evidenced by Captain Rogers, even undesirable character traits bring good into this world now and then."
That seemed a little bit hostile. I frowned, giving a questioning look to a frowning Loki.
"Speaking from experience?" Not the one to hold back upon witnessing first-grade bullshit, I withdrew from Stephen's touch, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.
Surprising everyone, the man laughed soundly, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I most certainly do," Shooting me a positively mischievous wink. I felt like I was missing something.
The room's inhabitants slowly ticked out in pairs and threes, eager to complete their assigned tasks. Loki had insisted on coming along to the sanctum with me, even almost getting up in Stephen's face, but Bruce - out of all people - managed to calm the Asgardian down, and together we convinced him his magic would be considerably more useful during the retrieval of the cursed box. Loki was worried - everyone with a pair of functional eyes could see that the spiky attitude was his way of showing he cared about me, which made my insides briefly turn to mush. I didn't expect him to take the title of my best friend so seriously and I definitely was not complaining.
Tony was the last to leave, jittery and shaky, clutching me like it was his last time seeing me, kissing me hungrily in front of everyone. The joke or two he made were weak ghosts of his usual sharp snark.
"I love you and I'll be back soon," I whispered into his ear, feeling him freeze and his fingertips dig almost painfully into my sides. Louder, I repeated: "Not planning on dying any time soon, y'all gotta chill. Let's go, doc?" I addressed the tall sorcerer who was tactfully pretending to be busy with his smartphone.
Wanda pressed a duffle bag into my hands mouthing "clean clothes" a split second before Stephen opened a portal and with a great deal of curiosity, I stepped through it, eyes immediately drawn to the dimly lit space filled with books and antiques. So many books, so many unusual trinkets. The chandelier that hung over our heads rivaled the ones I'd seen in million-dollar-homes of dad's friends.
"Follow me," Stephen extended an arm in the direction of a smaller door, "Please do not touch anything."
I walked a pace behind him, satisfying my curiosity by looking around like a child in a candy store. The air smelled different in the Sanctum, almost as familiar as Loki's magic but less frosty... Warmer. A dash of red fabric swished from somewhere towards me; I giggled. The Cloak of Levitation liked me - not nearly as much as it liked Peter though - so I brushed my fingertips along the fabric, greeting it quietly. Talking loudly in this building was out of the question. I felt like any moment, a disgruntled librarian would appear to chastise me for making noise.
"Strange," A short Asian man appeared, book in hand and looking none too happy. Guess that's the librarian... "I got your text. The room next to yours is prepared for the ritual," The man I assumed to be Wong gave me a curt nod in the way of greeting, doing a quick 180° and walking us back to a small but tastefully decorated room with a single cot in the middle. It was pleasantly warm, a small fire lit in the fireplace, willowy smoke of incense rising from a few strategically placed sticks.
"The bathroom is that way. I'm afraid you'll have to be fully nude for the procedure," Strange declared apologetically, pointing to a door hidden behind the divide.
I snorted, but of course, the weird voodoo shit would require me to be naked. Not that I was embarrassed or anything but still. Tony would have a field day. Locating a chair, I dumped my duffle bag on it, flying out of my hoodie and sweatpants in record time. My underwear and socks followed, feet unpleasantly chilly despite the carpeted floor. I ran a hand over the faint bruises on my hips, evidence of last night, fondly - either Tony or Stephen had left marks on my body and that was... It was great. I loved it, drugs or not.
I heard someone clear their throat and turned around, nearly cracking up at the way both men suddenly averted their gazes, blush riding high on their cheeks. I snorted: "I'm hot, what else is new?"
Wong shook his head, busying himself with some sort of a book; Stephen lingered, eyes fixated on the very same bruises. His tongue darted out, wetting the plush of his bottom lip, and damn, this wasn't the time to get horny. I shook my head and with that, the sorcerer caught himself too, mutely motioning me to lay down on the cot.
"Whenever you're done eye-fucking each other," Wong piped up sarcastically - wow, I liked this man already. Stephen grumbled something quiet and rude, provoking another snort from me.
I followed their instructions - shortly after the Asian man began reading - or rather singing - something in a language I didn't know, I felt myself fall into a deep sleep. Or, I thought I was falling asleep. At one point, my eyes opened to an empty room, a thin sheet covering my bare body, and a silence that made chills run down my spine.
"Stephen?" I called out. I sounded like I was underwater to my own ears. "Wong?"
I was met with silence so deafening, I had no choice but to sit up and look around. The fire was burning strong in the fireplace, several logs blackened from it as sparks flew. It took a second for me to realize it made no sound - there was no crackling. Something was very wrong, the dread was creeping up on me.
Very familiar dread.
With the sheet firmly wrapped around me, I hopped off the cot, suddenly noticing the drawings on my arms, my legs. I was covered in runes similar to the ones I had seen on the cursed box - and my memories weren't missing. As clear as day, I recalled messing around with the box, debating on opening it, taking it out of my room only to find it back on my desk in the morning, some serious Anabelle shit.
I jumped as the floorboards cracked somewhere in the house. Every logical thought I had, backed up by every horror movie I had ever watched, screamed at me to NOT go towards the creepy noise; like moth to a flame, I was drawn in and couldn't resist the unnatural urge to investigate it. On silent feet, I padded out of the room, desperately trying not to think about the lonely, dark hallways filled with strange ancient objects. My steps made no noise.
On the couch, in the main room we'd arrived, sitting lazily, was Tony. I'd recognize his hair anywhere - and the Led Zep tee, old, frayed edges and loose threads. "Tony?" I asked hopefully, trying to make sense of this...
He turned around.
It wasn't Tony. Whatever it was, it wore Tony's face, it held his brown eyes and crow's feet around them - it wasn't him. Wrong, like the lack of sound in this place, misplaced and unnatural. The doe browns didn't sparkle, lifeless, dull color of dried mud. As much as I wanted to go and bury my face in his chest, my limbs filled with lead, my whole body screaming "DANGER".
The impostor kept quiet which only solidified my suspicions. Real Tony would be running his mouth already, poking fun at my impression of a sheet ghost.
"Princess?" The... Thing asked in Tony's voice, but it fell flat and monotone.
"Whatever you are, you sure as Hell ain't Tony," I stated firmly, hoping for some answers. "What the fuck?"
Not-Tony's face changed, familiar features twisting into something sinister, the malice making me sick to my stomach. The creature stood up, causing my feet to take an involuntary step back as he advanced slowly.
"You have no choice but to submit," The Thing replied calmly. "You're not getting out of here. Not even your little Asgardian pet god can save you," Its tone was absolutely flat. I would have thought the thing was a robot if not for the obvious involvement of magic in this situation. Its words filled me with dread as thick as molten lava; unfortunately for the creature, unlocking my memories gave me enough rational balance to be acutely aware of it and therefore, able to fight it.
I could fight it. I didn't know how exactly, but I could resist it. "That's a really bold thing to say for something that... What even are you? Magical STD?" As my brain desperately focused on finding a solution to a problem I didn't know all the details of, my mouth had a mind of its own.
The creature growled, a far more primal noise than a human could make. "You don't know what you're up against, child. I am one for we are many," Suddenly, the room was filled with shadows as if someone had turned off all the lights and cranked up the moon to be the brightest it ever was. The shadows moved, oozed, motion sinister without any light to back it up.
I had no choice but to pucker up. Nobody was coming to rescue me; in fact, I always have taken pride in being a self-saving princess. Damsel in distress wasn't really my style. The hunch in my shoulders disappeared, giving way to a stubborn and stiff expectation of the upcoming altercation, hands bailed in fists.
"I mean, like Legion the demon from the Bible?" I recalled what little I knew from Wikipedia. "I mean, I'm agnostic myself, but if you feel like identifying with that, you should probably see a therapist."
The entity growled, shadows gathering around it like fabric on a string, and lunged. Paralyzed by sudden blinding, deafening fear, I turned tail and ran.
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THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95
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dilettantereviews · 7 months ago
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Here is my 2020 album best of. I know 30 is a lot but I figured that I don’t really write about music anymore so I might as well go big or go home. I still had a lot of people I ended up cutting (Caroline Rose, Carla J Easton) or other random singles I liked, but here we are. The last 10 are more honorary mentions and EPs.
Bree Runway- Y2K Hyper pop rap. *Report card voice* Conscientious, self conceptualized. Nokia and ATM are my favorites. I wish the mixtape was a little longer but she did a lot more with 9 tracks than some people can do with 18.
PrincessBri- The best pastiche album of the last 5 years. I feel like a lot of the throwback emo artists either try too hard for an indie sound or just go for trap/Soundcloud rap but not Princess Bri. Mixing a bootleg live version of My Happy Ending, Riot, and Flyleaf, Princess Bri perfectly nails the late 2000’s Fuse On Demand scene that someone cooler than you told you about. My favorite songs are Again and Again and Sick of it All. 
Princess Nokia- A good follow up for A Girl Cried Red. Woes, I Like Him, Just a Kid, Balenciaga, are my personal highlights. I thought the other album was just average. I wonder how many of my albums here will be replacements for the Halsey album that was just 14 versions of Nightmare that got canned.
Margo Price- Perfectly wistful country pop. I learned about Margo from her 2017 album a few months late so I was glad that listening to a new college radio station helped me enjoy the song single by single. I liked the title track and Stone Me, as well as some more rock lead moments like Letting Me Down, and Heartless Mind.
Jessie Ware- I had little hope for this album because I felt like the only person who didn’t like her 3rd one and disco revival feels like a trite misnomer but this album mixed disco with 80’s R&B perfectly. A true masterpiece. Remember Where You Are is my standout track.
Fiona Apple- This album was very unexpected for me and for everyone else. I was also surprised at how pretty immediate it was for an “unsettling” album. Shameika and Heavy Balloon are my favorite tracks. 
Beabadoobee- 2019 saw Beabadoobee release several twee EPs but this year she graduated to a grungier sound. Care, Dye it Red, Charlie Brown are my highlights.
Soko- I didn’t really have hope for Soko to release a new album. Her 2015 post punk exposition was above and beyond and went ignored, in the charts and in cult pop circles. She became a mother, was in a relationship with Kristin Stewart, and had her main collaborator Ariel Pink participate in a white supremacist coup, so I had less hope for new work from her. But lo and behold, Soko released the perfect hypnagogic hazy summer 2014 album for when the pandemic got you down and you miss modeling your social media aesthetics off of Rookie Magazine and Sofia Coppola. My favorite song is Looking for Love.
Armani Caesar- Surprise of the year for me. Rap music with an almost live (? I don’t know the right words to use but it feels like it uses real instruments and tracks instead of a trap beat) sound. Simply Done is a good introduction to her.
Chloe X Halle- I don’t like the narrative that they grew up- they had good deep cuts!- but this is their Good Girl Gone Bad/Britney/One in a Million era. They truly put the work in over the last 5 years and their performances and I’m glad they’re getting the attention they deserve. 
Flo Milli- Confident and fun rap that took over the fancam industry on Twitter. My favorites are Beef FloMix and Pockets Bigger. 
Haim- I was surprised at how big of a 180 this album was for me because, well, we were all there for the 2nd album. This album reminds me a lot of Luscious Jackson (Summer Girl reminding me of Fever in, Fever Out and Los Angeles reminding me of Electric Honey’s Summer Daze). I think even with the range of songs, from the more “traditional” sort of country and rock tinged stuff to the more pop and experimental stuff, it all sounds like it belongs together. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed this album until I noticed that my public radio station (shout out to WFUV) played pretty much all the singles and I liked all of them (which unfortunately for me counts as knowing an album enough). I also like I’ve Been Down (I know they get Sheryl Crow comparisons a lot but this is Sheryl at her most corvidian) and FUBT.
Soccer Mommy- I went from going “Who is she?” and not being able to tell her and Snail Mail apart to really liking this album. While she says this album is inspired by singers like Sheryl Crow and Avril Lavigne on songs like Circle the Drain and Blood stream, there are some darker sounding songs on it like Lucy (the guitar on it reminds me of Why God Loves You by PM Dawn). While this album is about making lemonade out of lemons for caregiving stress, it’s almost fitting it came out during a pandemic. Soccer Mommy ended up needing to scrap her tour and move to Animal Crossing performances entirely. 
Tame Impala- Not a zeitgeisty as Currents but still good. Attempt to add more “heat” to the sound compared to Currents. Patience, It Might Be Time, and Is It True are my favorites.
Angelica Garcia- I’ve been reading music reviews steadily for about a decade and I can’t really define what Art Pop is outside of “I’ll know it when I hear it” but this album is it for me. She reminds me vocally of Willow Smith and sings with a lot of emotion. Jicama is my favorite song.
That Kid- For trends, I always am late to the party and start out with the more crossover stuff and That Kid was that artist for me for PC music. I never hear the “This sounds like it’s from a Myspace Megamix that got played on a Saturday night radio slot!” comparisons but That Kid was a good artist for people like me, who are slow to accept Hyperpop and PC music outside Charli XCX. I appreciate the Kiss Me Thru the Phone cover.
Poppy- This is like her 3rd metal project and the novelty hasn’t worn off yet? Looks like she’s here to stay. My favorite song is Sick of the Sun, a tender moment on the album that I want to pretend is about too much screentime. 
Rina Samawaya- I like this as a modern pop album instead of a throwback album/Emotion of the Y2K era. Comme de garcons is my favorite song on the album. 
Ian Isiah- A great 80’s R&B mixtape. Hooks upon hooks. Great if you wish Blood Orange stuck to the Cupid Deluxe sound.
Benee- Quirky indie pop is hard to nail but she got the right spot for weird but danceable. An impressive mix of collaborators, even if I don’t care for Grimes. 
Hum- What would my best of’s be without some 90’s shoegaze representation? I didn’t really listen to Hum because they were in between post grunge and shoegaze, but sometimes it’s all about timing. This loud, thrashing, album felt appropriate for a year that felt apocalyptic at times. 
Sneaks- Expands her sound from various post punk styles to more electronic ones. A Santigold style genre bender.
Shygirl- Hyperpop sounds but hard and edgy. 
Roisin Murphy- My pick for Disco Revival album of the year.
Little Dragon- A casual listen who somehow rose above in a crowded year for music. Mixes pop with R&B and rock. Vocally reminds me of Kali Uchis and The Orielles. Are You Feeling Sad? is my favorite song on the album.
Alanis Morissette- I never thought I would like an Alanis album again but this album just did it for me. I loved the production. It reminded me of the guttural ad libs from Thank U but stretched out over a soundscape. Smiling is my favorite song on the album.  
Diana Gordon- Alaniscore
Lunchbox- Never heard of them before this year but they do great throwback power pop. Excited to listen to their past work. I like I Really Wanna Know.  
Allie X- As dreary as a concept album about a substance abuse documentary sounds, this album was way stronger than I thought it would be. While some might be able to (successfully) match Allie’s influences sonically and visually, this album has more growth. I like her vocal performance on Madame X. 
Aubrie Sellers- Country Rock with an indie production.
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oikirstein · a year ago
𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 | 𝐫.𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚
PAIRING: suna x fem!reader
SYNOPSIS: After your boyfriend of two years dumped you out of the blue, you start throwing back shot glasses like your life depends on it, trying to numb the pain. You were unaware that in your drunken haze, previously unspoken and slurred words flowed out of your mouth, through your phone, and into the ears of your best friend, Rintaro Suna.
CONTAINS: A bit of angst in the beginning, some fluff towards the end, drinking
off the table — Ariana Grande
A/N: And so my obsession with the Positions album continues. After listening to “off the table” like five million times, I had the idea of making a drunk one shot based on it.
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You couldn't believe it. The sheer audacity that some men had made your blood boil. After a little over two whole years together with your boyfriend, he approached you, asking to break up. Four days before your third anniversary.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Was all you could think as you knocked your head back and let the burning, bittersweet taste of tequila wash down your throat. Used to the flavor by now, you didn’t make a sour face until the juices from the lime slice flowed onto your tongue. It was almost three in the morning when you finished the bottle by yourself, salt and green rinds all over the floor and black tear stains coating your cheeks. You truly believed he was the one. He was the first person you genuinely loved after getting over your childhood crush. He treated you...well enough. He was definitely not the type to be super affectionate, but you knew he loved you either way. Just not enough, you guess. What was wrong with you? Laying on the floor in fetal position, you hugged your knees with your left arm and held your phone in your right hand as rhetorical upon rhetorical settled into your mind. Would you ever be able to love the same way again? Will you ever love somebody like the way you did him? There was only one other person whom you loved more than you ex, but you knew that those forsaken emotions wouldn’t bring you where you wanted to be. That’s why he rejected you all those years ago. You never thought he’d be so damn hard to replace. Of course the liquid courage coursing through your veins made your brain think otherwise. Maybe he’s changed, maybe now is different, were the only things running around in your brain as you unwillingly dialed his number into your phone. He answered on the fifth ring.
“Hello?” his voice was raspy and husky, like he’d just woken up or something.
“Rin-rin!” you excitedly gasped as you sat up and leaned against your couch.
“Y/N? Why are you calling me at three in the morning?” he sounded tired.
“I still love you,” you sighed into the phone, voice so low it was almost a whisper.
“What?” his tone made a complete 180—he now sounded awake as ever, “What are you talking about?”
“Ugh, I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for? What’s wrong Y/N?”
“I swear I don’t mean to be this way.”
“Y/N, don’t tell me...are you...drunk?”
“No!” the second you prolonged the vowel, he knew you were lying.
“Are you lying to me? Y’know best friends don’t lie to each other,” he said half teasingly and half sternly.
“Okay then let me ask you something I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now.”
“Hm?” was all he hummed into the phone as you peaked his curiosity.
“Why did you reject me?” you knew the answer already, but you wanted to hear him say it, “Am I too cold? Am I not nice?” 
“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?” his voice was strained—like he was holding his words back, “You’re my best friend, Y/N.”
“Then if I can’t have you, is love completely off the table?”
Your subtle confession took him by surprise.
“What are you saying, Y/N?”
“Should I sit this one out, and wait for the next life?” you no longer had control over the words that slipped from your lips.
“Am I not good enough to be more?” you choked out,
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it? You know I’d wait for you until the sun burns out.”
Your words were like spears going through his chest. With every single syllable you spoke, a shiver went down his spine. He loves you. He really does, but he just has too much to lose.
“It always feels like I’ll be number two,” is what he finally said after a minute of silence, that was one minute too much.
“W-what?” your cheeks were hot and your heart started racing when you heard those words, slightly fuzzy through the speaker, “To who?”
“Someone you can’t hold anymore.”
Oh how badly you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs, “I don’t want anyone else! I only want you! It’s you and it’s always been you!” but your throat tensed on the urge.
“Rin, if you let me in, I’m ready to give you what I couldn’t before.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he said nothing. The creaking of his mattress and rustling of his sheets were the only sounds coming from his end of the line.
“Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m right here don’t worry.”
You were suspicious. That man was scheming something. Soon after a couple minutes of silence, you heard the loud clicks of...a door?
“What are you doing?” the room was spinning and you could barely keep your eyes open as you tilted your head back and laid it on the textile cushion of your sofa.
He smirked, “I got you. Let me help you through it.”
“What?” you slurred.
You heard the growl of an engine and dinging from the ignition turning on.
“Listen, I can love you more than I did before.”
“You don’t have to,” as the highs of your head were slowly leaving, you grew more anxious. Just what have you done?
“I’m sorry I couldn't give you my all, but I will.”
“HUH?” your eyes flew wide open when you finally registered what he’s been saying, “Are you in a car right now?”
“What if I am?”
“I swear to god Rintaro I won’t open the door.”
“Who said I was going over there?”
Your cheeks flushed red. You just assumed that, didn’t you?
“I’m just messing with you, Y/N. I have a key remember?” you smiled, the kind of smile where the skin around your eyes wrinkle. Not even your stupid ex boyfriend had a key.
“Will you be here?” there was a sense of longing in your voice, almost pleading.
“I’ll be there,” he promised as his car revved once more.
“I’m not yet healed already.”
“I know, baby.”
“I shouldn’t be going too steady.”
“I’m right here. Five minutes away.”
“C-can you hold me?”
“I will. Just be a little more patient.”
“I’ve got to get out of my head,” you whispered with a tone of urgency.
“What are you thinking right now? I’m pulling into your parking spot.”
You sighed with relief, knowing he was merely a moment away.
“What you’re saying doesn't mean you believe in it,” please don’t be out of pity, please don’t be out of pity.
Then the unexpected happened—dial tone.
“Hello? Hello?” you begged through the phone.
All of a sudden you heard a jingle and a click towards the direction of your door as you slowly lowered your phone from your ear to the floor.
“I’m never gonna leave you, baby,” said Suna, standing in the doorway.
As soon as you made eye contact with him, you bolted up, nearly falling over as the blood rushed to your head. He ran over to you just in time to catch you, and enveloped you in his big arms. You didn't realize how cold you were before his touch, heat radiating from his body to yours. You felt safe.
The two of you stayed like that for a moment—basking in each other’s missed presence. He then took your arm and draped it over his shoulder as his snaked around your waist.
“Let’s get you to bed, hm?”
He wiped the makeup from your face, having memorized your skin care routine, tucked you into your queen sized bed, and laid next to you.
“Don’t go.”
“I’m right here,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss into your forehead and rubbed circles into the small of your back.
That night, you fell asleep with a big, stupid, grin plastered all over your face, skin red from the alcohol and eyes puffy from crying. Everything felt like it was okay now that he was here. Listening to his heartbeat as you settled into your subconscious, hearing his last words to you made your heart skip a beat.
“I don’t think love is completely off the table.”
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